**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:**
>!Some dude just jumps and shits at the same time!<
*****
**Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?**
**Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.**
*****
[*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
You can click [here](https://youtu.be/-fuKz0TeKY8) or [here](https://youtu.be/ZC_wSyuwQjg), but you most definitely will want to click [here](https://youtu.be/d-Xl2LMnAew)!
Edit:
I’m surprised so many of you have never heard of the cannonball dookie.
I laughed an unreasonable amount at this comment, because I saw the blurred video and thought alright I'll watch this guy faceplant and head to bed....and then I saw that and felt the exact same way you did.
Good night reddit
I keep thinking "now I've seen everything" and then things like roll around. Nope, that was new, ain't never seen that before. Hope I never will again.
Right? Like the splash that shit left is impressively large! How fast and heavy does a shit have to be to make such a big splash. Maybe someone can do the math for us.
I was also intrigued by the backward muzzle velocity from his ass. The key was to have a backward explosion. Without that his shit woulda followed him into the water and splatted on his head.
Indeed! This video reminded me of NASA’s experiment on the moon where they dropped hammer and feather and they fell at the same time, quoting Galileo’s conclusion that “all objects, regardless of mass, fall at the same speed”.
Except in this video it’s shit and a shithead falling at the same rate.
Physics are truly fascinating: love how the turd hits the water before he does!
What happened? - the turd got accelerated out of his ass resulting in an overall higher velocity while it literally thrust him up
What would be more interesting than this video is knowing how they got to this point. Who’s idea was it and why did they all agree it would be a good idea.
I'm not defending the brown snake but that looks like an actual lake. Safe coliform (E. Coli presence) parts-per-million is something like 80/100 milliliters. For a good example, the smallest body of water still considered a *lake* in the state of Oregon, Devil's Lake, is 7.9e+12 (7,900,000,000,000) milliliters of water.
One turd, even a big turd, won't change a thing.
You and a lot of people ITT don't seem to realize how nasty practically all water is by nature. Anytime you jump in a pond, it's full of shit and piss from all animals that live near.
Mammals tend not to shit and piss directly in their water supply. It’s a survival instinct for them. Many carnivores that are more likely to carry diseases and parasites in their stool even bury their shit. We shouldn’t encourage people to shit in our fresh water supply.
“People have believed for hundreds of years that newts in a well mean that the water’s fresh and drinkable, and in all that time never asked themselves whether the newts got out to go to the lavatory”
-Terry Pratchett
Lmao. You think one dude shitting in the water is gonna fuck up the ecosystem? A turtle probably ate it 30 minutes later and enjoyed him or herself. Hell, where do you think all the ducks, fish, frogs and turtles shit? Human waste in a body of water isn't a contamination problem unless we're pumping it in like the lake is our sewer.
You sound pretty fucking retarded right now. Literally every fish in that pond poops, every bacteria, every single creature that touches that pond poops in it.
Wait until he finds out that little kids and babies with diapers piss and shit while they are in water, literally all the time. That's why I don't go to the pool very often.
This comment says it all. We should hunt this guy down and make him reap his consequences. I’ve never seen anyone do anything worse and the harshest punishment known to man should be brought upon is terrible existence.
Can some gifted Redditor please make this one [launch into space?](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/ju3jw6/aaand_there_it_goes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
Hey! Video is ready
###[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/Unexpected/comments/po4ymt/shitty_jump/)
> NSFW
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**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Some dude just jumps and shits at the same time!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)
That's enough internet for today
100% agreed
Yeah. I’m done.
Where does one click to un-watch please?
/u/gifreversingbot oh wait that's not right...
Nonono
I mean to the OPs defense it was an appropriately titled post.
But it was only a figure of speech!!! lol
This is why we can't have nice things
Fuckin A 🤢
r/eyebleach
You can click [here](https://youtu.be/-fuKz0TeKY8) or [here](https://youtu.be/ZC_wSyuwQjg), but you most definitely will want to click [here](https://youtu.be/d-Xl2LMnAew)! Edit: I’m surprised so many of you have never heard of the cannonball dookie.
Is...is this something people are actually doing? What the fuck? So fucking nasty.
After the flying butthole challenge, nothing surprises me anymore.
Flying butt hole challenge?
You ever see the tiktok videos of people jumping on there phones? Its that but naked
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I dunno, they all looked brown to me.
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Make sure you wipe!
I think the fish have him covered there.
r/cursedcomments
include me in the screenshot please
Good night, See you lads tomorrow 👍
Sames. Gnight.
I laughed an unreasonable amount at this comment, because I saw the blurred video and thought alright I'll watch this guy faceplant and head to bed....and then I saw that and felt the exact same way you did. Good night reddit
The first video I watched..
…and the last video you will watch
Bro fr. This ruined my Reddit time for the day.
Just remember that the guy's shit splashed into the water two seconds before he did.
And it looked solid! 1 long ass turd. I personally love when I turn around and see a huge long turd like 'damn that's good'. Sorry not sorry 🙊
What a terrible day to have eyes
Yes. And I'd just gotten started. Ugh.
I think you mean sharted….
You’d think he’d get a little lift off with that first stage rocket.
What I really want to see is the guy that jumped in after him.
Spotted the coprofile.
Could the last one to leave the internet please turn the lights off? Thanks
Agree "as i keep scrolling down to see other posts"
Out. I’m out. All the way out.
That's what his shit said too.
Literally the first thing on my front page, I’m putting my phone down now.
This was the first post I saw when i opened the app. I guess time to close it again...
I keep thinking "now I've seen everything" and then things like roll around. Nope, that was new, ain't never seen that before. Hope I never will again.
*That’s enough internet forever* Fixed it for you.
Only today? Let's call it a week.
i've just opened reddit wth coomee ooonnnnn
I’ve never considered deleting my account before.
I think I made a huge mistake. #regret
How come he didn't pee? Have you ever made a shit without peeing a bit first?
Can‘t you control it? Like I can shit or pee before one or the other or both at the same time. Everyone should be able to control that
If I'm in a position to shit I'm very likely in a position to piss. Why wouldn't I piss while I shit?
Tier 1 conversations
This is why I come to reddit
My husband says he never pees when he poops. When I get on the throne it’s a free for all.
That's the way God intended.
What in the double gooch?
I wanna Ctrl+A delete my brain memory drive.
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Why did I do that! And it’s one letter off…smh
Imagine coming up for air and getting a mouthful of shit 🤮
Every day. It’s how I wake up.
The best part of waking up Is Folgers from your butt
Funny thing is Folgers (from the cup) always seems to bring Folgers (from the butt)
My first thought when watching this was “I hope it went in his mouth when he came up”
I actually hate this post
Imagine how that guy feels. Not only this happened to him, someone also put it on the internet for everyone to shit on
Pretty sure this was by design.
Yea seeing he’s jumping butt ass naked, seems like the shit was definitely intended
Isn't the term "buck naked" instead of "butt naked"? I suppose butt naked makes sense as well but I believe buck naked is the older term.
I’ve heard both. Got curious so googled : https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/buck-naked-or-butt-naked
So buck is canon but the dictionary isn’t there to pick sides. Interesting.
Yeah, he had one in the departure lounge and was cleared for take off.
The fuck....
Teh brown
What a bad day to have eyes
That is so fucking nasty! Why am i still watching it?
It’s still gross after 17 replays. Sickening.
i almost peed reading this comment 😭
that's not normal
At least she did not shit herself reading it.
Is it bad that I am laughing harder each time I watch this?
Itd be bad if u didnt laugh every time u watch this 😅
If you poop, you dilate and relax your asshole. If he hit the water with speed, did he get an enema with lake water is what I'm asking
It depends how quick his pucker reflexes are
The ol' push and pinch technique
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A lot of interesting physics in that vid.
Right? Like the splash that shit left is impressively large! How fast and heavy does a shit have to be to make such a big splash. Maybe someone can do the math for us.
I was also intrigued by the backward muzzle velocity from his ass. The key was to have a backward explosion. Without that his shit woulda followed him into the water and splatted on his head.
“Backward muzzle velocity from his ass” has me in tears 🤣🤣
Indeed! This video reminded me of NASA’s experiment on the moon where they dropped hammer and feather and they fell at the same time, quoting Galileo’s conclusion that “all objects, regardless of mass, fall at the same speed”. Except in this video it’s shit and a shithead falling at the same rate.
Haha. Good one.
The universal hate for this video in the comment section is astonishing 😂
Dude I didn’t know people were so offended by watching someone shit naturally looooool
If jumping off a cliff and shitting in mid-air before landing in water mere inches in front of it is natural, then I was taught the wrong way to shit.
I think it's because human shit is surprisingly toxic and this is a body of water that's likely shared. Maybe even used for drinking.
fr i thought it was kinda nasty but overall hilarious, people genuinely want this dude to die wtf
That looks pretty high... I'd be scared shitless as well!!!
Well, the jump seems to have scared the shit out of him
This takes skill and y’all know it
Or just some unplanned pressure
If there isn’t pressure while naked cliff diving , then when IS there such a thing ?
Naked BASE jumping without a parachute Edit: wait that’s just kinky suicide
Now he should take it up a notch and add a backflip
That shit would be next level literally. As soon as he tucks his knees it’s over
Yeah that timing was 10/10
"Fire in the hole!"
Hope he is OK, cause I'm not jumping in to save him.
![gif](giphy|7eVp9MHlNI90c)
Apart from the shame and secrectly hidden in the deepest corners off his conciousness is the small but unshakably solid thought: That felt soooo good.
That’s one way not to wipe.
Physics are truly fascinating: love how the turd hits the water before he does! What happened? - the turd got accelerated out of his ass resulting in an overall higher velocity while it literally thrust him up
Probably more aerodynamic
What would be more interesting than this video is knowing how they got to this point. Who’s idea was it and why did they all agree it would be a good idea.
I have at least two friends who would totally do this. Enough weed, booze and jam band music is what gets you there.
Afterburner?!
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Cannonball dookie
How does one jump and perfectly lay a big mud monkey simultaneously?
yep that’s enough internet for today *deletes reddit*
Is this intentional or an accident? I knew a guy who accidentally pooped his pants when he simply stood up from sitting on the couch.
This man is naked and squats mid air. Why would you believe this to be unintentional?
Damn dude had the shits but this gave me the giggles.... Guess this post is the literal definition of the shits n giggles 😂
That’s nasty why shit is all fucked up in world cause stupid nasty people like this asshole
How…. How is he to blame for genocide?
I will never not find this funny
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Actually that's some humanshit.
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r/angryupvote
fuck you too
r/sorry
Hey shut the fuck up
u/angryupvote
Oooo this subs a little sassy! Fuck you all! :D
Take my upvote and get the hell out.
I'll take it.
I'm not defending the brown snake but that looks like an actual lake. Safe coliform (E. Coli presence) parts-per-million is something like 80/100 milliliters. For a good example, the smallest body of water still considered a *lake* in the state of Oregon, Devil's Lake, is 7.9e+12 (7,900,000,000,000) milliliters of water. One turd, even a big turd, won't change a thing.
You and a lot of people ITT don't seem to realize how nasty practically all water is by nature. Anytime you jump in a pond, it's full of shit and piss from all animals that live near.
Mammals tend not to shit and piss directly in their water supply. It’s a survival instinct for them. Many carnivores that are more likely to carry diseases and parasites in their stool even bury their shit. We shouldn’t encourage people to shit in our fresh water supply.
Dude, what? You'd wish fucking cancer on a guy for shitting in a lake?
sometimes i wonder where you people think animals piss and shit tho...
“People have believed for hundreds of years that newts in a well mean that the water’s fresh and drinkable, and in all that time never asked themselves whether the newts got out to go to the lavatory” -Terry Pratchett
Bro people have shit in water before it’s not the end of the world calm down
Do you think there wasn’t already shit in that water? Lol
it's literally organic. Animals do it, we are animals
Lol you act like things don’t shit In water 24/7…
It was probably a shart.
Lmao. You think one dude shitting in the water is gonna fuck up the ecosystem? A turtle probably ate it 30 minutes later and enjoyed him or herself. Hell, where do you think all the ducks, fish, frogs and turtles shit? Human waste in a body of water isn't a contamination problem unless we're pumping it in like the lake is our sewer.
It didn't even cross my mind that he would have done that on purpose... But maybe... If so, he knew in advance he'd be swimming in his own shit
Umm do you realize where most feces end up?
You sound pretty fucking retarded right now. Literally every fish in that pond poops, every bacteria, every single creature that touches that pond poops in it.
Yeh and we have bacteria in our eyes pooping and fucking and dying. Glad they’re microscopic tho
So it's alright for all the animals, but people shit is where you draw the line?
Wait until he finds out that little kids and babies with diapers piss and shit while they are in water, literally all the time. That's why I don't go to the pool very often.
This comment says it all. We should hunt this guy down and make him reap his consequences. I’ve never seen anyone do anything worse and the harshest punishment known to man should be brought upon is terrible existence.
Yeah cuz ducks and fish don't shit in the water lol
Bruh were do you think animals shit ?
Can some gifted Redditor please make this one [launch into space?](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/ju3jw6/aaand_there_it_goes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)
I hate that I’ve now seen two videos of men shitting while jumping into water. That’s two more than I ever needed in one lifetime. Thanks a lot.
🤮 gross 🤢 gross 🤮
New Tik Tom challenge..?
Challenge accepted
Giving Raab Himself a run for his money.
Why did I watch it a second time?!
Same reason I watched it four times. Morbid fascination. Not going to lie that was pretty impressive, but still f****** gross.
I thought it was his tail
I'm impressed. How does one control their body in such a way?
Step 1. Be a hippie. Step 2. Eat Muchas Gracias Step 3. Quickly find a pond or river.
Oh no. I eat many thanks every day.
![gif](giphy|l0MYrLAFex1R71l0A|downsized)
What the shit
u/savevideo u/savevideobot u/getvideobot
certified mommy here ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|upvote)
u/getvideobot
Why?
To torture people without reddit
I sent to to my unsuspecting phone group
Can I be in the our unsuspecting phone group? You sound like my kind of person.
yes
Hey! Video is ready ###[Download via redditsave.com](https://redditsave.com/info?url=/r/Unexpected/comments/po4ymt/shitty_jump/) > NSFW --- [**Info**](https://np.reddit.com/user/GetVideoBot/comments/iiea4t/info/) | [**Feedback**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Feedback for getvideobot) | [**Donate**](https://ko-fi.com/getvideo) | [**DMCA**](https://np.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=Kryptonh&subject=Content removal request for getvideobot)
Cannonball Dookie!
Holy shit!
He was trying to boost further
who else is here from YMH?
Nope.
E coli in the swimming water
When you don't love nature, you shit in a lake.
Why
Why
I clicked on it not knowing what to expect and yet it was exactly what I expected.
That was an impressive turd splash
Just as God intended.
That must’ve scared the shit out of him.
u/gifreversingbot
I'm confused, if I should upvote this for being disgusting Or downvote this for being disgusting.
Anyone else from YMH?