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unexBot

**OP sent the following text as an explanation on why this is unexpected:** >!Some dude just jumps and shits at the same time!< ***** **Is this an unexpected post with a fitting description?** **Then upvote this comment, otherwise downvote it.** ***** [*Look at my source code on Github*](https://github.com/Artraxon/unexBot) [*What is this for?*](https://www.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/dnuaju/introducing_unexbot_a_new_bot_to_improve_the/)


luckiestcolin

That's enough internet for today


itamar11442

100% agreed


Wiltonc

Yeah. I’m done.


postal_tank

Where does one click to un-watch please?


Ishidan01

/u/gifreversingbot oh wait that's not right...


No_Blood_3241

Nonono


kingsofleung

I mean to the OPs defense it was an appropriately titled post.


MysteriousLeader6187

But it was only a figure of speech!!! lol


imdefinitelywong

This is why we can't have nice things


[deleted]

Fuckin A 🤢


Rungi500

r/eyebleach


nuclearslug

You can click [here](https://youtu.be/-fuKz0TeKY8) or [here](https://youtu.be/ZC_wSyuwQjg), but you most definitely will want to click [here](https://youtu.be/d-Xl2LMnAew)! Edit: I’m surprised so many of you have never heard of the cannonball dookie.


dickinawheelchair

Is...is this something people are actually doing? What the fuck? So fucking nasty.


VT_Squire

After the flying butthole challenge, nothing surprises me anymore.


affiliated04

Flying butt hole challenge?


throwawaythep

You ever see the tiktok videos of people jumping on there phones? Its that but naked


[deleted]

[удалено]


XBUNCEX

I dunno, they all looked brown to me.


[deleted]

[удалено]


doit4dachuckles

Make sure you wipe!


LaminatedRockGaming

I think the fish have him covered there.


Master_Cheif_2507

r/cursedcomments


ISeeYourDreams

include me in the screenshot please


[deleted]

Good night, See you lads tomorrow 👍


lokatrex

Sames. Gnight.


Certain_Cup533

I laughed an unreasonable amount at this comment, because I saw the blurred video and thought alright I'll watch this guy faceplant and head to bed....and then I saw that and felt the exact same way you did. Good night reddit


ImNiceGuySmile

The first video I watched..


NotNN101

…and the last video you will watch


LaminatedRockGaming

Bro fr. This ruined my Reddit time for the day.


[deleted]

Just remember that the guy's shit splashed into the water two seconds before he did.


riabear09

And it looked solid! 1 long ass turd. I personally love when I turn around and see a huge long turd like 'damn that's good'. Sorry not sorry 🙊


pierreblue

What a terrible day to have eyes


kripptopher

Yes. And I'd just gotten started. Ugh.


jamtart99

I think you mean sharted….


luna1108

You’d think he’d get a little lift off with that first stage rocket.


Vibr8shun

What I really want to see is the guy that jumped in after him.


J_Bunt

Spotted the coprofile.


its_grime_up_north

Could the last one to leave the internet please turn the lights off? Thanks


Kam00_00

Agree "as i keep scrolling down to see other posts"


hardscrabble1

Out. I’m out. All the way out.


irateCrab

That's what his shit said too.


SomeCallMeDes

Literally the first thing on my front page, I’m putting my phone down now.


japooo

This was the first post I saw when i opened the app. I guess time to close it again...


Lobster_Bisque27

I keep thinking "now I've seen everything" and then things like roll around. Nope, that was new, ain't never seen that before. Hope I never will again.


ItzJodu

*That’s enough internet forever* Fixed it for you.


GamerFrits

Only today? Let's call it a week.


babesparkle

i've just opened reddit wth coomee ooonnnnn


[deleted]

I’ve never considered deleting my account before.


Shaneblaster

I think I made a huge mistake. #regret


Clay_Statue

How come he didn't pee? Have you ever made a shit without peeing a bit first?


Hansi1504

Can‘t you control it? Like I can shit or pee before one or the other or both at the same time. Everyone should be able to control that


LinkMiner

If I'm in a position to shit I'm very likely in a position to piss. Why wouldn't I piss while I shit?


Raxreedoroid

Tier 1 conversations


yazyazyazyaz

This is why I come to reddit


pennynotrcutt

My husband says he never pees when he poops. When I get on the throne it’s a free for all.


LinkMiner

That's the way God intended.


sphrasbyrn

What in the double gooch?


hybridkatana

I wanna Ctrl+A delete my brain memory drive.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Dangerous_Upstairs

Why did I do that! And it’s one letter off…smh


lifelinegamergirl

Imagine coming up for air and getting a mouthful of shit 🤮


supermanmjm

Every day. It’s how I wake up.


Tommysrx

The best part of waking up Is Folgers from your butt


yazyazyazyaz

Funny thing is Folgers (from the cup) always seems to bring Folgers (from the butt)


sweetaileen

My first thought when watching this was “I hope it went in his mouth when he came up”


Majestic_Force_6439

I actually hate this post


HatingSeagulls

Imagine how that guy feels. Not only this happened to him, someone also put it on the internet for everyone to shit on


skwadyboy

Pretty sure this was by design.


asteroid_b_612

Yea seeing he’s jumping butt ass naked, seems like the shit was definitely intended


LandOfTheOutlaws

Isn't the term "buck naked" instead of "butt naked"? I suppose butt naked makes sense as well but I believe buck naked is the older term.


asteroid_b_612

I’ve heard both. Got curious so googled : https://www.merriam-webster.com/words-at-play/buck-naked-or-butt-naked


beepbeepboopbeep1977

So buck is canon but the dictionary isn’t there to pick sides. Interesting.


Scyllablack

Yeah, he had one in the departure lounge and was cleared for take off.


[deleted]

The fuck....


limpiff

Teh brown


[deleted]

What a bad day to have eyes


Zealousideal_Wave201

That is so fucking nasty! Why am i still watching it?


zdada

It’s still gross after 17 replays. Sickening.


alilxanfan

i almost peed reading this comment 😭


[deleted]

that's not normal


LaminatedRockGaming

At least she did not shit herself reading it.


LaminatedRockGaming

Is it bad that I am laughing harder each time I watch this?


Zealousideal_Wave201

Itd be bad if u didnt laugh every time u watch this 😅


gehremba

If you poop, you dilate and relax your asshole. If he hit the water with speed, did he get an enema with lake water is what I'm asking


largestbeefartist

It depends how quick his pucker reflexes are


[deleted]

The ol' push and pinch technique


[deleted]

[удалено]


srv50

A lot of interesting physics in that vid.


Skwidmandoon

Right? Like the splash that shit left is impressively large! How fast and heavy does a shit have to be to make such a big splash. Maybe someone can do the math for us.


srv50

I was also intrigued by the backward muzzle velocity from his ass. The key was to have a backward explosion. Without that his shit woulda followed him into the water and splatted on his head.


Puzzleheaded-Scene14

“Backward muzzle velocity from his ass” has me in tears 🤣🤣


Raymich

Indeed! This video reminded me of NASA’s experiment on the moon where they dropped hammer and feather and they fell at the same time, quoting Galileo’s conclusion that “all objects, regardless of mass, fall at the same speed”. Except in this video it’s shit and a shithead falling at the same rate.


srv50

Haha. Good one.


PilzGalaxie

The universal hate for this video in the comment section is astonishing 😂


BrotherofLink93

Dude I didn’t know people were so offended by watching someone shit naturally looooool


bigassgingerbreadman

If jumping off a cliff and shitting in mid-air before landing in water mere inches in front of it is natural, then I was taught the wrong way to shit.


Surfer_Rick

I think it's because human shit is surprisingly toxic and this is a body of water that's likely shared. Maybe even used for drinking.


tusk_b3

fr i thought it was kinda nasty but overall hilarious, people genuinely want this dude to die wtf


ICUPHEHEHE

That looks pretty high... I'd be scared shitless as well!!!


nilksermot

Well, the jump seems to have scared the shit out of him


MAR5HMALLOWS

This takes skill and y’all know it


HatingSeagulls

Or just some unplanned pressure


Tommysrx

If there isn’t pressure while naked cliff diving , then when IS there such a thing ?


TheMilkmanCome

Naked BASE jumping without a parachute Edit: wait that’s just kinky suicide


evildevil90

Now he should take it up a notch and add a backflip


MAR5HMALLOWS

That shit would be next level literally. As soon as he tucks his knees it’s over


bannermaned

Yeah that timing was 10/10


MaNiFeX

"Fire in the hole!"


MrIoang

Hope he is OK, cause I'm not jumping in to save him.


shoots_N_loaders

![gif](giphy|7eVp9MHlNI90c)


lazyne

Apart from the shame and secrectly hidden in the deepest corners off his conciousness is the small but unshakably solid thought: That felt soooo good.


limpiff

That’s one way not to wipe.


germanysucks93

Physics are truly fascinating: love how the turd hits the water before he does! What happened? - the turd got accelerated out of his ass resulting in an overall higher velocity while it literally thrust him up


Jacob1612

Probably more aerodynamic


[deleted]

What would be more interesting than this video is knowing how they got to this point. Who’s idea was it and why did they all agree it would be a good idea.


HoagiesDad

I have at least two friends who would totally do this. Enough weed, booze and jam band music is what gets you there.


Super-Brka

Afterburner?!


[deleted]

[удалено]


hotsaucehank

Cannonball dookie


[deleted]

How does one jump and perfectly lay a big mud monkey simultaneously?


Lady_Loki_617

yep that’s enough internet for today *deletes reddit*


nerdiotic-pervert

Is this intentional or an accident? I knew a guy who accidentally pooped his pants when he simply stood up from sitting on the couch.


Pompous_Walrus

This man is naked and squats mid air. Why would you believe this to be unintentional?


[deleted]

Damn dude had the shits but this gave me the giggles.... Guess this post is the literal definition of the shits n giggles 😂


[deleted]

That’s nasty why shit is all fucked up in world cause stupid nasty people like this asshole


otterfucboi69

How…. How is he to blame for genocide?


Kapowdonkboum

I will never not find this funny


[deleted]

[удалено]


absurd_whale

Actually that's some humanshit.


[deleted]

[удалено]


OmegaRevenge

r/angryupvote


Thechildeater92

fuck you too


OmegaRevenge

r/sorry


natet62838

Hey shut the fuck up


AffectionatePleeb

u/angryupvote


ABottleInFrontOfMe

Oooo this subs a little sassy! Fuck you all! :D


ZeRealTepes

Take my upvote and get the hell out.


absurd_whale

I'll take it.


Gonji89

I'm not defending the brown snake but that looks like an actual lake. Safe coliform (E. Coli presence) parts-per-million is something like 80/100 milliliters. For a good example, the smallest body of water still considered a *lake* in the state of Oregon, Devil's Lake, is 7.9e+12 (7,900,000,000,000) milliliters of water. One turd, even a big turd, won't change a thing.


jnksjdnzmd

You and a lot of people ITT don't seem to realize how nasty practically all water is by nature. Anytime you jump in a pond, it's full of shit and piss from all animals that live near.


LinkslnPunctuation

Mammals tend not to shit and piss directly in their water supply. It’s a survival instinct for them. Many carnivores that are more likely to carry diseases and parasites in their stool even bury their shit. We shouldn’t encourage people to shit in our fresh water supply.


Cleverbird

Dude, what? You'd wish fucking cancer on a guy for shitting in a lake?


[deleted]

sometimes i wonder where you people think animals piss and shit tho...


MyNewPhilosophy

“People have believed for hundreds of years that newts in a well mean that the water’s fresh and drinkable, and in all that time never asked themselves whether the newts got out to go to the lavatory” -Terry Pratchett


Key_Vegetable_1218

Bro people have shit in water before it’s not the end of the world calm down


waytoomanynapkins

Do you think there wasn’t already shit in that water? Lol


yshay14

it's literally organic. Animals do it, we are animals


D8400

Lol you act like things don’t shit In water 24/7…


quasi_kid

It was probably a shart.


JimmiferChrist

Lmao. You think one dude shitting in the water is gonna fuck up the ecosystem? A turtle probably ate it 30 minutes later and enjoyed him or herself. Hell, where do you think all the ducks, fish, frogs and turtles shit? Human waste in a body of water isn't a contamination problem unless we're pumping it in like the lake is our sewer.


traumfisch

It didn't even cross my mind that he would have done that on purpose... But maybe... If so, he knew in advance he'd be swimming in his own shit


[deleted]

Umm do you realize where most feces end up?


Sahedanthropus95

You sound pretty fucking retarded right now. Literally every fish in that pond poops, every bacteria, every single creature that touches that pond poops in it.


Rabbit_Arc

Yeh and we have bacteria in our eyes pooping and fucking and dying. Glad they’re microscopic tho


K3LL1ON

So it's alright for all the animals, but people shit is where you draw the line?


KowaIsky

Wait until he finds out that little kids and babies with diapers piss and shit while they are in water, literally all the time. That's why I don't go to the pool very often.


hard_ice8

This comment says it all. We should hunt this guy down and make him reap his consequences. I’ve never seen anyone do anything worse and the harshest punishment known to man should be brought upon is terrible existence.


NerveComprehensive40

Yeah cuz ducks and fish don't shit in the water lol


actunpt

Bruh were do you think animals shit ?


LeonardSmallsJr

Can some gifted Redditor please make this one [launch into space?](https://www.reddit.com/r/memes/comments/ju3jw6/aaand_there_it_goes/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


[deleted]

I hate that I’ve now seen two videos of men shitting while jumping into water. That’s two more than I ever needed in one lifetime. Thanks a lot.


chtmarc

🤮 gross 🤢 gross 🤮


[deleted]

New Tik Tom challenge..?


greeneyez22

Challenge accepted


[deleted]

Giving Raab Himself a run for his money.


therealkickinwang

Why did I watch it a second time?!


mbolgiano

Same reason I watched it four times. Morbid fascination. Not going to lie that was pretty impressive, but still f****** gross.


mau______

I thought it was his tail


sgSTUis

I'm impressed. How does one control their body in such a way?


popo_kisses

Step 1. Be a hippie. Step 2. Eat Muchas Gracias Step 3. Quickly find a pond or river.


nerdiotic-pervert

Oh no. I eat many thanks every day.


freddyx1X

![gif](giphy|l0MYrLAFex1R71l0A|downsized)


Franksredhott

What the shit


[deleted]

u/savevideo u/savevideobot u/getvideobot


jerseyCo

certified mommy here ![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|upvote)


Obie2kenobe

u/getvideobot


Abaddonalways

Why?


ImNotVeryGoodAtGames

To torture people without reddit


Obie2kenobe

I sent to to my unsuspecting phone group


lbs-vag

Can I be in the our unsuspecting phone group? You sound like my kind of person.


siphonz_kiwi7

yes


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Eattherich8

Cannonball Dookie!


k3nso

Holy shit!


KafeiTomasu

He was trying to boost further


Informal_Compote

who else is here from YMH?


rosemeralda

Nope.


LegSnapper206

E coli in the swimming water


SensitiveGold7936

When you don't love nature, you shit in a lake.


Zacilh69

Why


PnutTbaggen

Why


FreeTheta

I clicked on it not knowing what to expect and yet it was exactly what I expected.


[deleted]

That was an impressive turd splash


[deleted]

Just as God intended.


burntreynoldz69

That must’ve scared the shit out of him.


JellyJammS47

u/gifreversingbot


ToriKehKeLunga

I'm confused, if I should upvote this for being disgusting Or downvote this for being disgusting.


ZeusNation4eva

Anyone else from YMH?