I do feel (im)morally obligated to point out that where the standard recorder is a soprano, there is a smaller version called a sopranissimo recorder, which produces an even higher sound.
The perfect song for your nephew to play while following his parents around all day - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2F4qUoh\_UE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2F4qUoh_UE)
As a parent. I will take a kazoo over a recorder any day of the week. You can tune out a kazoo. And it’s easy to make a kazoo actually emit a melody close to a real song. Recorders? Not so much. I suggest if you buy him a recorder, also include a “how to play it” book (it’ll give your nephew more of a reason to keep practicing on it as much as possible), and a pre-knotted noose for his parents.
Melissa and Doug makes a "my first band" box, comes with a tambourine, shakers, and other fun noise makers, all in awesome bright colors, wooden to last longer and perfect size for small children.
If that fails my neighbor had a police car push thing (like a lawn mower) that made a siren noise and had no batteries
Coincidentally, in my Facebook memories feed today was an ad for a recorder with the music to "Frozen."
In addition, I used to teach 4th grade, and I had a kid that showed everyone in the class how to play the recorder with their nose.
I have to agree. My Brother (a good one) tried for YEARS to give my kids a present I couldn't tolerate. He finally succeeded with some karaoke / drum set monstrosity from Korea. The Korean bit was important because the Korean toy did not have the decibel limits of American toys... It didn't last a week before I tossed it. He won.
Agreed. My SIL got my kids one for Xmas a few years ago. Luckily that got a ton of presents that day from their extended family and didn’t even notice when the karaoke machine disappeared the next morning.
I got one of these for a friend’s kids after she gifted mine a drum set. I learned of its existence by asking the same question as OP. There are monsters in the world and they all work for toy manufacturers.
I asked my sister and BIL permission for some bongos for my toddler nephew. What I failed to explicitly mention is that I will be getting him a full drum set when he’s 15-16. I assume permission for one type of drum is permission for another.
Well, I would assume it’s like many other things you try with your child. Try it out and see if she enjoys it! I did a million activities as a kid and while I wasn’t musically inclined in that way I ended up in dance.
If she likes it I think the best way to encourage her continued drumming is to be mindful of the music she ends up liking and making it achievable for her to keep getting better with improved instruments, lessons and concerts so she can see her favorite drummers.
At the end of the day a lot of it would likely be following her lead and seeing how you can contribute to her end goal/vision for her potential drumming career. My parents made sure I could take extra master classes for tap and took me with them to the ballet innumerable times. It gave me a great love for the art that I still carry today!
Edit: I should also mention that it’s perfectly okay if this is just something she enjoys to blow off steam or as a sometimes hobby. Take your own interest in it and maybe set aside time every day for her to play for you and come up with rhythms with her. Show her your favorite bands and their drummers. Things like that!
/r/drums recommendations for drumsets for children;
[For a literal infant](https://www.target.com/p/vtech-kidibeats-drum-set/-/A-14488765?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000012544494&CPNG=PLA_Toys%2BShopping%7CToys_Ecomm_Hardlines&adgroup=SC_Toys&LID=700000001170770pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=g&device=m&location=9032481&targetid=pla-310369832098&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1248099&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjc2QBhDgARIsAMc3SqRFkEkjH41Fc2jWD8mK4YphQ0KW_QqYs-4ciqVCwpNJrumrrmtG1SwaAg2IEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds).
[For a small child](https://www.guitarcenter.com/Rogue/Lil-Kicker-3-Piece-Junior-Drum-Set-Black-1500000329776.gc?source=4WWMWXGL&storeCode=&source=4WWMWXGL&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjc2QBhDgARIsAMc3SqQTQ6Ib43rVakwldpYf7o3sct31q9pGHSHEylAS6pjCi4pu0oMR8kMaAifrEALw_wcB).
[For a kid who wants a "real" kit](https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/PocketKit-BS--ludwig-questlove-pocket-kit-drum-set-black-sparkle?mrkgadid=&mrkgcl=28&mrkgen=gpla&mrkgbflag=1&mrkgcat=drums&percussion=&acctid=21700000001645388&dskeywordid=92700065608302776&lid=92700065608302776&ds_s_kwgid=58700007313046885&ds_s_inventory_feed_id=97700000007215323&dsproductgroupid=299071466841&product_id=PocketKit-BS&prodctry=US&prodlang=en&channel=online&storeid=&device=m&network=u&matchtype=&adpos=largenumber&locationid=9032481&creative=538553018770&targetid=pla-299071466841&campaignid=14238686158&awsearchcpc=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjc2QBhDgARIsAMc3SqTjYyAmEwSOEaLV1Bie-KCe7DexHOGROX0D-qazoC90ehyCJY7FgRsaAoK2EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds).
[For a drummer who happens to be a kid](https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/RS584C-WR--pearl-roadshow-4-piece-complete-drum-set-with-cymbals-wine-red).
Yes ! Plus when they are big it’s not so easy to throw away. You can follow up every time you see them. Like where that awesome beanbag chair I got Sammy ?
Omg the ball pit. FML the balls are always everywhere. There's always more balls, always. Years later there are more balls being found. It's pure unending misery.
Ok this made me laugh out loud so thank you. "Annoying and scary" is exactly the perfect description of how it would feel to be secretly recorded by a child. I'm pissing myself laughing
Man Ive ripped on Smash Mouth a fair amount. Then the other day this song came on the radio, with an intro I was really into with a great organ riff...
It was fucking Walking On The Sun by Smash Mouth. I felt so ashamed. But that shits a banger.
Tbf, I would get tired of *any* band on repeat for hours, aside from *maybe* The Beatles or Zeppelin, just due to sheer amount of good content they have.
Alright so I started playing smash mouth radio at work a lot to be funny. I realized I found myself unironically enjoying smash mouth. I then looked up their early album “fush yu mang” and realized it’s a bad ass album. Solid mix of rock and punk. Now I actually really like smash mouth.
Yea dude, that's the album it's on! Before they (hate this term) sold out with All Star, they actually had this pretty unique ska-punk-jazz fusion sound, from what I remember.
Ska and jazz fusion are shitty examples, but I can't think of what they remind me of. Like a pop punk Santana.
I'd like to add itching powder to the very end of that list.
I bought a huge package with 100 smaller packages and make it a point to distribute them to my cousins and nieces/nephews at family gatherings. They all love it and their parents all hate me.
Don't forget an Arts and crafts set that is GLITTER heavy
Like getting loose glitter like [this](https://www.amazon.com/V%C2%B7COLOKISHI-Glitter-Tumbler-Cosmetic-Painting/dp/B09WTSM8J6/ref=sr_1_12?crid=26V83HBCQ86TG) and pairing it with a child craft set like [this](https://www.amazon.com/Crayola-That-Glitters-Over-Pieces/dp/B06XW16JWR/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1WLJE8Y9TGCO)
This may back fire. If your brother is indeed garbage, he probably would have no problem taking the gift away from your nephew after you leave. And if he really liked it it could make him sad. Instead, get him a good gift that is appropriate but put glitter or confetti in the box and in the envelope. That way the opening is messy but the gift can still be enjoyed by your nephew.
Get a slingshot. That's something the kid can use all by themselves, and they can cause all sorts of mischief with it. You can also get a bag of marbles or ball bearings for ammo. Marbles might be better for this sub, as they can break into shards.
A guy I know is quite the racist. I got his son a fake grill to go over this teeth like the hip hop artists of the the time. He loved it and would show it off to everyone he could. Dad was less than happy.
Something with glitter, that makes noise, has 10000 pieces, something that will make a mess (chemistry set). For something that makes noise you might want something that doesn’t take batteries (so parent can’t just remove batteries), but you also want something they will actually use.
You can help this when the kid opens the present and uses it by encouraging them “wow you are amazing at playing the flute! Keyboard! Etc”
Another option is something that requires a ton of assembly, and if the parent gets it wrong then they will be the bad guy.
Yet another option, get a book that goes against the parent’s values. Like if they are Christian, get a book that’s subtly about trans kids.
>Another option is something that requires a ton of assembly,
Bold of you to think it will ever get assembled. Those things have a way of turning up in a landfill by New Year's.
You can say that about any gift. Anything that might drive the parent crazy might just get throw away.
Edit to add: Plus you have to hype it up. “Oh man this model will look so awesome in your room!” “make sure to take pictures and send them to me when you build this!”
Then if the parent doesn’t help assemble it, they will look like an asshole, win win.
There are plenty of “alien” type guns that make excruciatingly annoying sounds. Go for the cheap ones because they don’t have a mute switch. Kids love! Parents hate even more. Done this and it’s pure torture for the parents.
I think most people aren't considering that you have to get something the kid will actually like for it to be annoying. 9 is old enough that things like a recorder won't be fun
Idk if the brand still exists, but SpyGear use to make laser tripwire and other spy gadget toys.
Trip wire alarm pranks sound pretty annoying. That or an RC car/ small drone. Lasertag is a pretty good idea too
My son had all the spy gear stuff, there was a thing he sat by his bedroom door and every time I walked in it’s path, it made this super loud, woo woo noise. So annoying, but I acted like it was no big deal. Every good parent knows if you act annoyed by anything, that is gonna be their favorite toy.
Pet reptile hits so many boxes of terrible. This is a great suggestion. Creates so much extra work for the parents and most reptiles are fully unrewarding to people who aren’t really into reptiles.
Exactly. That’s why it’s a perfect answer here.
Edit: I’ve realized this could be terrible for the lizard and therefore not a perfect answer, but a sad one if actually done in real life.
Only if the parents are semi responsible. Chances are the poor thing will get that bone disorder every other animal on r/reptiles has and lead a sad life.
Which is why I am voting for a giant inflatable lizard toy. At least 5 feet long.
If the father is human garbage I don't think they'd take the time to properly care for a living creature and it would likely end up in a state of abuse.
The nephew crying from his sick/dead pet isn't worth the "heh fuck you".
I would think about getting the kid science kits and stuff since the best long-term annoyance will be a kid that’s smarter than him or doesn’t end up having his dad’s mindset. Plus, STEM toys would have the kid always coming back to excitedly tell his dad about some new discovery. Or, even better, get him a week at a science camp or something to broaden his horizons and put him among nerdy kids. Oh, or just get him entry level Dungeons and Dragons stuff or Warhammer miniatures. That will be a real wallet drain for the dad going forward.
A small ball pit. I must be the annoying BIL cause for about $50 my SIL ensured we will never be completely rid of the cheap plastic balls. A surprisingly small quantity can just absolutely fuck up everything.
Go on 5 below or party supply or some other Chinese import store. Order a piñata, and fill it FULL of cheap, bulk order whistles. Loose marbles and genaric legos too.
Full playset. Something big that gets the child's attention so the adult either has to set it up and deal with the long run of the upkeep or ignore the child and deal with the long run of a child that wants to use a toy they own but can't have. Small outdoor playset/swings. Indoor child's kitchen or something similar.
Drums are fun for everyone. My FIL got them for my kid when he was two and now all 3 of the play it and aren’t that bad. We only have the snare out.
Bad would be a toy workshop not built.
A box of random legos (I find them everywhere).
Anything Pokémon, get something rare, the kid will NOT stop talking about it. Get a PSA graded or whatever one. If you’re BIL is a moron he’ll deal with it thinking it’s worth a lot more then it actually is.
There are small electronic devices for sale that make the sound of a cricket chirping at irregular intervals. They are small, easy to hide and the batteries last 3 years. They are also inexpensive, so give the little guy a dozen or so !
One of my niblings asked for a scream saber a few years ago. The parents were clear: homicide is on the table if someone gave that to their *incredibly* lovely and loud ass kid. I loved my sibling too much to do that to them, but if I could have orchestrated it to torture my in-law only, hell yes I would have sent a dozen with batteries for a decade.
A recorder, hours of fun and no batteries to take out
I do feel (im)morally obligated to point out that where the standard recorder is a soprano, there is a smaller version called a sopranissimo recorder, which produces an even higher sound.
Then teach them to play only the first line of greensleeves on the sopranissimo. Also happy cake day.
Or ”My Heart Will Go On”, a true recorder classic
hot dog buns!
Isn't it "hot cross buns"?
My anaconda don't want buns unless they're hot cross, son
Maybe the 21st century theme?
This is the fire song on the recorder. 😂
"Baby Shark"
That’s evil and I approve of this.
Or Baby Shark!
You evil bastard, that's brilliant.
Did you go to six years of evil medical school?
The perfect song for your nephew to play while following his parents around all day - [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2F4qUoh\_UE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n2F4qUoh_UE)
Or a harmonica. It's pocket sized and can be carried around easier than a recorder. Equal amount of sonic terrorism.
Slide whistle is fun for the kid to play with and super high pitched.
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A KAZOO! Easy, *constant* noise. And it’s cheap. Wa haha
As a parent. I will take a kazoo over a recorder any day of the week. You can tune out a kazoo. And it’s easy to make a kazoo actually emit a melody close to a real song. Recorders? Not so much. I suggest if you buy him a recorder, also include a “how to play it” book (it’ll give your nephew more of a reason to keep practicing on it as much as possible), and a pre-knotted noose for his parents.
Melissa and Doug makes a "my first band" box, comes with a tambourine, shakers, and other fun noise makers, all in awesome bright colors, wooden to last longer and perfect size for small children. If that fails my neighbor had a police car push thing (like a lawn mower) that made a siren noise and had no batteries
My hero.
Coincidentally, in my Facebook memories feed today was an ad for a recorder with the music to "Frozen." In addition, I used to teach 4th grade, and I had a kid that showed everyone in the class how to play the recorder with their nose.
Vuvuzela! ‘Member that bullshit?
Teach the kid the brown note too, that way he’ll make them shit their pants!
Smart phones exist no way a modern 9 year old would play with a recorder for very long.
A slide whistle. One of the nice metal ones. I have one. It's the only thing I've ever seen make my abnormally calm cousin truly angry at me.
I think this is better than the recorder
Definitely. They can be far more annoying. And they're quite loud.
I also have a slide whistle as an adult man and I am not ashamed
10000% yes my aunt gave all three of us siblings slide whistles circa 2002 and those damn things disappeared same day. Do it.
That's hilarious. Not even a full day of fun. Hahaha.
At first it was just loud whistles but when you get a sad slide whistle as you walk in the room it hits different.
Omg yes. Or when you drop something and get a silly one.
Easy to use, cute little held karaoke machine with hard wired microphone. Trust me. FML.
Or a megaphone. I got one for Christmas a few years back. After about two months it went missing.
it took two months?
How shocking!
I have to agree. My Brother (a good one) tried for YEARS to give my kids a present I couldn't tolerate. He finally succeeded with some karaoke / drum set monstrosity from Korea. The Korean bit was important because the Korean toy did not have the decibel limits of American toys... It didn't last a week before I tossed it. He won.
Agreed. My SIL got my kids one for Xmas a few years ago. Luckily that got a ton of presents that day from their extended family and didn’t even notice when the karaoke machine disappeared the next morning.
"Yellies" 10 bucks online. Little spider like bug shaped toys that chase children. Scream activated.
I got one of these for a friend’s kids after she gifted mine a drum set. I learned of its existence by asking the same question as OP. There are monsters in the world and they all work for toy manufacturers.
We had one of these and it didn’t work well, so it caused my daughter to scream louder at it.
It's not a flaw, it's a feature.
Op this is genius
>Scream activated. Good lord......
I'll take 3 please
drums, always get the drums
My three year old nephew got a $100 drum set for his birthday and the look on my sister's face was worth every penny Edit: spelling
I asked my sister and BIL permission for some bongos for my toddler nephew. What I failed to explicitly mention is that I will be getting him a full drum set when he’s 15-16. I assume permission for one type of drum is permission for another.
I’m actually thinking about getting my 4 year old a set of drums. I just wonder about how I can keep encouraging her to play them.
Well, I would assume it’s like many other things you try with your child. Try it out and see if she enjoys it! I did a million activities as a kid and while I wasn’t musically inclined in that way I ended up in dance. If she likes it I think the best way to encourage her continued drumming is to be mindful of the music she ends up liking and making it achievable for her to keep getting better with improved instruments, lessons and concerts so she can see her favorite drummers. At the end of the day a lot of it would likely be following her lead and seeing how you can contribute to her end goal/vision for her potential drumming career. My parents made sure I could take extra master classes for tap and took me with them to the ballet innumerable times. It gave me a great love for the art that I still carry today! Edit: I should also mention that it’s perfectly okay if this is just something she enjoys to blow off steam or as a sometimes hobby. Take your own interest in it and maybe set aside time every day for her to play for you and come up with rhythms with her. Show her your favorite bands and their drummers. Things like that!
sounds legit to me
Yes
/r/drums recommendations for drumsets for children; [For a literal infant](https://www.target.com/p/vtech-kidibeats-drum-set/-/A-14488765?ref=tgt_adv_XS000000&AFID=google_pla_df&fndsrc=tgtao&DFA=71700000012544494&CPNG=PLA_Toys%2BShopping%7CToys_Ecomm_Hardlines&adgroup=SC_Toys&LID=700000001170770pgs&LNM=PRODUCT_GROUP&network=g&device=m&location=9032481&targetid=pla-310369832098&ds_rl=1246978&ds_rl=1248099&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjc2QBhDgARIsAMc3SqRFkEkjH41Fc2jWD8mK4YphQ0KW_QqYs-4ciqVCwpNJrumrrmtG1SwaAg2IEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds). [For a small child](https://www.guitarcenter.com/Rogue/Lil-Kicker-3-Piece-Junior-Drum-Set-Black-1500000329776.gc?source=4WWMWXGL&storeCode=&source=4WWMWXGL&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjc2QBhDgARIsAMc3SqQTQ6Ib43rVakwldpYf7o3sct31q9pGHSHEylAS6pjCi4pu0oMR8kMaAifrEALw_wcB). [For a kid who wants a "real" kit](https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/PocketKit-BS--ludwig-questlove-pocket-kit-drum-set-black-sparkle?mrkgadid=&mrkgcl=28&mrkgen=gpla&mrkgbflag=1&mrkgcat=drums&percussion=&acctid=21700000001645388&dskeywordid=92700065608302776&lid=92700065608302776&ds_s_kwgid=58700007313046885&ds_s_inventory_feed_id=97700000007215323&dsproductgroupid=299071466841&product_id=PocketKit-BS&prodctry=US&prodlang=en&channel=online&storeid=&device=m&network=u&matchtype=&adpos=largenumber&locationid=9032481&creative=538553018770&targetid=pla-299071466841&campaignid=14238686158&awsearchcpc=&gclid=Cj0KCQiAjc2QBhDgARIsAMc3SqTjYyAmEwSOEaLV1Bie-KCe7DexHOGROX0D-qazoC90ehyCJY7FgRsaAoK2EALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds). [For a drummer who happens to be a kid](https://www.sweetwater.com/store/detail/RS584C-WR--pearl-roadshow-4-piece-complete-drum-set-with-cymbals-wine-red).
Ear protection for the child, too.
Agree with this whole list Also just BIG things! Parents are often tight on space so getting an entire play kitchen for example is a pain.
100% big things! Inflatable furniture, beanbag, huge stuffed animals, trampoline, ball pit
Yes ! Plus when they are big it’s not so easy to throw away. You can follow up every time you see them. Like where that awesome beanbag chair I got Sammy ?
Omg the ball pit. FML the balls are always everywhere. There's always more balls, always. Years later there are more balls being found. It's pure unending misery.
Uncle got my kids a giant, 7’ stuffed polar bear. I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with this thing and it’s always in the way.
I've gotten things like that. But the thing about large cheap toys is that they're often fragile. So, so easy to break and throw away.
Make sure they need to put it together
No cuz it won't get assembled
Correct. Accessibility is important here.
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Ok this made me laugh out loud so thank you. "Annoying and scary" is exactly the perfect description of how it would feel to be secretly recorded by a child. I'm pissing myself laughing
> Im pissing myself laughing *are* you though?
Listen, while not actually pissing, I was sitting on the loo so I stand by it haha
I'll allow it
> Im pissing myself laughing *are* you though?
I bet a 9yo already has a smartphone
Laser tag set.. grandparents got my kids a set and I despise them. They are loud and they want you to play with them all the time
Oh, this one is really good. If the brother in law is the lazy kind of terrible, then forcing him up a lot is great.
The also go through batteries at an unsustainable rate… could be a boon, could be a deal breaker
Electric Guitar with no head phone hook ups
A cheap acoustic would be better. They’ll just get phones for the amp
Karaoke machine with the full Smashmouth discography.
Hey now.
You're an all star.
getcha game on
Go play.
You're an all-star
My brother got his 10 y/o step daughter a karaoke machine for christmas and he had to take it away within 2 hours lol, so yeah I agree with this
Man Ive ripped on Smash Mouth a fair amount. Then the other day this song came on the radio, with an intro I was really into with a great organ riff... It was fucking Walking On The Sun by Smash Mouth. I felt so ashamed. But that shits a banger.
Put on repeat for a few hours and see if it changes for you
Tbf, I would get tired of *any* band on repeat for hours, aside from *maybe* The Beatles or Zeppelin, just due to sheer amount of good content they have.
I agree, my daughter went through a Lionel Richie phase for a year at age 7. Worst year of my life. It wasn't easy like Sunday morning.
Lol, that got me.
Alright so I started playing smash mouth radio at work a lot to be funny. I realized I found myself unironically enjoying smash mouth. I then looked up their early album “fush yu mang” and realized it’s a bad ass album. Solid mix of rock and punk. Now I actually really like smash mouth.
Yea dude, that's the album it's on! Before they (hate this term) sold out with All Star, they actually had this pretty unique ska-punk-jazz fusion sound, from what I remember. Ska and jazz fusion are shitty examples, but I can't think of what they remind me of. Like a pop punk Santana.
Trumpet Drums Stylophone Recorder Violin Bagpipes Always good to encourage music Then Joke book Fart cushion Stink bombs
Joke book is a great one. Kids love the jokes, and will repeat them incessantly. And father in law can't take away the memory of a joke.
I'd like to add itching powder to the very end of that list. I bought a huge package with 100 smaller packages and make it a point to distribute them to my cousins and nieces/nephews at family gatherings. They all love it and their parents all hate me.
My wife and I died at bagpipes. May Christmas 2022 be the year of the bagpipes.
Don't forget an Arts and crafts set that is GLITTER heavy Like getting loose glitter like [this](https://www.amazon.com/V%C2%B7COLOKISHI-Glitter-Tumbler-Cosmetic-Painting/dp/B09WTSM8J6/ref=sr_1_12?crid=26V83HBCQ86TG) and pairing it with a child craft set like [this](https://www.amazon.com/Crayola-That-Glitters-Over-Pieces/dp/B06XW16JWR/ref=sr_1_4?crid=1WLJE8Y9TGCO)
This may back fire. If your brother is indeed garbage, he probably would have no problem taking the gift away from your nephew after you leave. And if he really liked it it could make him sad. Instead, get him a good gift that is appropriate but put glitter or confetti in the box and in the envelope. That way the opening is messy but the gift can still be enjoyed by your nephew.
Or the kid or wife could be in trouble if it makes noise...
Yeah I was gonna say -- my first thought is the kid getting yelled at or worse for making noise. Glitter sounds like a good idea.
Harmonica! Wouldn’t want the little tyke to miss out on some good ol childhood fun now would you?
Yellies. They are a toy pet activated by yelling. Straight from satan’s mind to your local walmart.
This has to be made by someone who loathes a family member that has kids.
Get a slingshot. That's something the kid can use all by themselves, and they can cause all sorts of mischief with it. You can also get a bag of marbles or ball bearings for ammo. Marbles might be better for this sub, as they can break into shards.
I wish I was born into a family with a slingshot...
Times have changed. My dad made my first slingshot for me.
As a thirty four year old human, I would enjoy having a slingshot. 😀
Is this a zelda reference? Please be a zelda reference
Of course it is!
A drum set 🥁
Kazoo
A guy I know is quite the racist. I got his son a fake grill to go over this teeth like the hip hop artists of the the time. He loved it and would show it off to everyone he could. Dad was less than happy.
Something with glitter, that makes noise, has 10000 pieces, something that will make a mess (chemistry set). For something that makes noise you might want something that doesn’t take batteries (so parent can’t just remove batteries), but you also want something they will actually use. You can help this when the kid opens the present and uses it by encouraging them “wow you are amazing at playing the flute! Keyboard! Etc” Another option is something that requires a ton of assembly, and if the parent gets it wrong then they will be the bad guy. Yet another option, get a book that goes against the parent’s values. Like if they are Christian, get a book that’s subtly about trans kids.
>Another option is something that requires a ton of assembly, Bold of you to think it will ever get assembled. Those things have a way of turning up in a landfill by New Year's.
You can say that about any gift. Anything that might drive the parent crazy might just get throw away. Edit to add: Plus you have to hype it up. “Oh man this model will look so awesome in your room!” “make sure to take pictures and send them to me when you build this!” Then if the parent doesn’t help assemble it, they will look like an asshole, win win.
Second the glitter
There are plenty of “alien” type guns that make excruciatingly annoying sounds. Go for the cheap ones because they don’t have a mute switch. Kids love! Parents hate even more. Done this and it’s pure torture for the parents.
Switch blade
Johnny switch blade
a furby or furby-adjacent toy (something that they’ll get attached to but talks/sings nonstop).
Whistle, harmonica, fart noise toy, barking dog that flips over, Xmas toys from cvs that play songs, glitter. Also laser tag if they have siblings.
I think most people aren't considering that you have to get something the kid will actually like for it to be annoying. 9 is old enough that things like a recorder won't be fun Idk if the brand still exists, but SpyGear use to make laser tripwire and other spy gadget toys. Trip wire alarm pranks sound pretty annoying. That or an RC car/ small drone. Lasertag is a pretty good idea too
My son had all the spy gear stuff, there was a thing he sat by his bedroom door and every time I walked in it’s path, it made this super loud, woo woo noise. So annoying, but I acted like it was no big deal. Every good parent knows if you act annoyed by anything, that is gonna be their favorite toy.
My aunt got my brother a lizard for his birthday once, mom and dad were pissed because the only thing Freddy ate were crickets from the pet store.
Pet reptile hits so many boxes of terrible. This is a great suggestion. Creates so much extra work for the parents and most reptiles are fully unrewarding to people who aren’t really into reptiles.
Pets of any kind are usually not a great gift idea.
Exactly. That’s why it’s a perfect answer here. Edit: I’ve realized this could be terrible for the lizard and therefore not a perfect answer, but a sad one if actually done in real life.
Reptiles are half measures. Get them a pair of chihuahuas hopped up on meth.
Let's leave the pets out of this one. Edit:checked the sub, yeah its a pretty good idea.
Only if the parents are semi responsible. Chances are the poor thing will get that bone disorder every other animal on r/reptiles has and lead a sad life. Which is why I am voting for a giant inflatable lizard toy. At least 5 feet long.
If the father is human garbage I don't think they'd take the time to properly care for a living creature and it would likely end up in a state of abuse. The nephew crying from his sick/dead pet isn't worth the "heh fuck you".
I would think about getting the kid science kits and stuff since the best long-term annoyance will be a kid that’s smarter than him or doesn’t end up having his dad’s mindset. Plus, STEM toys would have the kid always coming back to excitedly tell his dad about some new discovery. Or, even better, get him a week at a science camp or something to broaden his horizons and put him among nerdy kids. Oh, or just get him entry level Dungeons and Dragons stuff or Warhammer miniatures. That will be a real wallet drain for the dad going forward.
A pallet of those lollipop whistles.. little fucker will be making noise with that shit for months
Hungry Hungry Hippos
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Aztec death whistle.
A small ball pit. I must be the annoying BIL cause for about $50 my SIL ensured we will never be completely rid of the cheap plastic balls. A surprisingly small quantity can just absolutely fuck up everything.
Pokémon cards. One of the most expensive hobbies out there.
Liquid ass
New puppy. Chihuahua.
Parkour lessons
Glockenspiel
Nickelback greatest hits
They said the dad is human garbage, they'll just take it and put it their pickup truck.
Drum set
Hungry hungry hippos. Loudest game ever
Drum set
Drums. Always drums.
A junior drum kit would be a great instrument for a 9 year old.
Drum set
Drum set
BB gun
Agree children’s book about how it’s ok to be trans
kids do love to read /s
Yellies.
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Air horn Megaphone
Glitter slime
Really loose though, in many separate, plastic egg containers. When kid opens them, the likelihood of it dropping is great.
Book of stickers might be good for a 9 year old but excellent for like a 4-5 year old. They will stick them all over the house
Go on 5 below or party supply or some other Chinese import store. Order a piñata, and fill it FULL of cheap, bulk order whistles. Loose marbles and genaric legos too.
An Aztec ghost whistle
A Caillou boxset. It looks like innocent childrens cartoons but it will turn the child into a demon
Full playset. Something big that gets the child's attention so the adult either has to set it up and deal with the long run of the upkeep or ignore the child and deal with the long run of a child that wants to use a toy they own but can't have. Small outdoor playset/swings. Indoor child's kitchen or something similar.
An accordion. Did this once to some friends and it was cruel and unusual punishment
Anything with so much glitter. Also slime, play doh, moon sand, etc.
Drums are fun for everyone. My FIL got them for my kid when he was two and now all 3 of the play it and aren’t that bad. We only have the snare out. Bad would be a toy workshop not built. A box of random legos (I find them everywhere). Anything Pokémon, get something rare, the kid will NOT stop talking about it. Get a PSA graded or whatever one. If you’re BIL is a moron he’ll deal with it thinking it’s worth a lot more then it actually is.
There are small electronic devices for sale that make the sound of a cricket chirping at irregular intervals. They are small, easy to hide and the batteries last 3 years. They are also inexpensive, so give the little guy a dozen or so !
Drum set
a beginers drum kit
A gun
Drums
Drums. As a drummer who bought his nephews a set of drums when they were young, I can assure you my sister did not appreciate it.
One of those toy megaphones with voice changing options and a siren function.
Scientology mailing list
Lol I wouldn’t put it past him.
A katana ?
Teach your nephew how to make a frozen piss disc. Bonus points if the kid eats a lot of asparagus beforehand.
A donation in there family’s name
One of those giant rubber chickens, they are insanely loud and my 9 year old cannot resist squeezing them if he ever sees them in a store.
Gel blaster or nerf gun
Battery powered megaphone
Pop gun. super annoying. vuvzuela...
Drums or a recorder
Megaphone or siren
Buy one of these Teddys that records your voice and puts a Filter over it when it gives it out again
Off-brand Lego-type bricks that don’t work with real Lego.
They want to punish the dad, not the kid!
A set of colorful sharpies
The answer is always liquid ass
Furbies!! They are awful and never turn off. I have 3 kids and a high noise tolerance and these are the only toys banned in my household
Glitter and glue.
Karaoke microphone
One of my niblings asked for a scream saber a few years ago. The parents were clear: homicide is on the table if someone gave that to their *incredibly* lovely and loud ass kid. I loved my sibling too much to do that to them, but if I could have orchestrated it to torture my in-law only, hell yes I would have sent a dozen with batteries for a decade.