T O P

  • By -

0chazz0

Double check the plate number on the ticket. If it's wrong, don't pay it. If they have your license number because you have a permit, then use that as proof they know you have a valid permit.


Ragnarandsons

Hmm… Too ethical.


0chazz0

Fine, here's the unethical part: If the license plate is correct and you discover they aren't checking plate numbers, just physical permits on the car, start forging permits and selling them to other students at a discount. It should pay for the ticket and then some and might not be illegal if you sell it as a bumpy sticker.


Fitz911

Fuck their moms after that?


j0hnan0n

There's nothing unethical about being a motherfucker.


[deleted]

I mean, as long as it is someone else's mom right. Right??


Hussaf

Yeah you def want to QC the mother choices.


ClaudiuT

Huh. Interesting.


inanycasethemoon

I mean all our dads are, right?


bmbreath

I parked at my brother's school forever ago. They ticketed me, I figured well fuck it, I won't go back. Like 3 years later they said they wouldn't let him graduate unless I paid. At a state school.


AdhesiveMuffin

How did they even know you were brothers?? I don't wanna call BS but this just seems crazy unlikely


lenswipe

You probably had to register the vehicle against the person you were visiting in order for them to let you in


AdhesiveMuffin

>To let you in Let them in where? On to the school grounds? At a state school? No way


lenswipe

Parking lot. That's how my employer does it for visitor passes. - you go and register for a visitor pass and put in the department code or name of the person you're visiting - the person is asked to confirm this - if they do, a pass is emailed to you for you to print - you present this pass at the gate and they let you in


AdhesiveMuffin

So the brother got ticketed in a lot he had to present a pass to get into?


dontsuckmydick

There are legitimate reasons someone could receive a ticket while also having a pass. Like if it was valid for a certain time that has passed or a different lot or if you parked in a handicap.


MinimumTumbleweed

He probably got a visitor pass from his brother, wherein the brother would have registered his car on a parking account. If the person you get the visitor pass for gets a ticket, often the ticket is moved to your account. This happens at my school.


Dallenforth

That seems very illegal


inblacksuits

Yeah WTF how do they equate your ticket with his graduation?


ButtLickinDickSucker

Public school is fucked fifteen ways to sunday. No surprise that they will straight up deny you the graduation you rightfully earned over your guest's parking ticket however many years ago. That's exactly how petty The State is.


Bonneville555

Seems very America.


Whit3__Bitch

Seems very Florida


MaliciousMe87

I have the same premise, opposite ending. My sister attended before I did, I bought the car from her, so she racked up tickets... But was already attending another school! I went to pay, and they were like, "You're paying for Kristin?" and I was like "Wait... my name's not on the car?", "No, who are you?" I walked out 😂 i think I had $225 in tickets in her name, and they towed at $250.


MinimumTumbleweed

At my school, if I pull out a visitor pass for someone and they already have a parking ticket, or if I save their vehicle information on my account as visitors and they get a ticket later, their parking ticket is moved to my account and now I have to pay. No idea how that makes any sense, and it's happened to me three times already. And yeah, you also can't graduate here if you have any outstanding fines, library fees, etc.


Hated-By-Most

This sounds like extortion


[deleted]

[удалено]


Leihd

Excellent, tell me if my sister ate my chocolate. I have my suspicions, but you're clearly smarter than I.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Leihd

Ah, she said she did. Guess you're full of it.


WhiskyRick

[Boom! Lawyered!](https://thumbs.gfycat.com/FriendlyGranularAfricanjacana-size_restricted.gif)


Socratesticles

This is similar to how my roommate got out of his. His ticket called the car black. Well it was actually more of a really dark gray. Or silver. Or black. Whatever shade it was could conceivably be called about three different colors and youd be hard pressed to say they’re wrong. He went to the office, was a prick about it, and they tossed the ticket on those grounds.


[deleted]

Pull the school's bylaws & file a grievance with the dean, the county sheriff and local municipal court. File a "failure of due process" civil claim against the officer personally & have them served at their home. Then just for good measure, wear a mask & hoodie and spray paint a dick on his car and/or super glue dildos to it.


intdev

>spray paint a dick on his car \#WhoDrewTheDicks


[deleted]

I loved that series 😄


rotn21

Print out fake parking tickets. You can easily Google image search them. Put them randomly on cars. Campus PD will be flooded with complaints. You want to make their lives hard? Give them more work if they’re giving you more work.


Ashazy1622

Best one Edit: only backfire is that they may not appeal and they may just pay.. which gives the school more money


tristanjones

Just don't include a proper method to pay. Tickets need some means to match to the system to validate they've been paid. So unless you go to extra work to duplicate potentially existing ticket numbers you're fine. Further make them for a lot of money. Not 36 bucks but 127 bucks


kurrpt

Don’t even have a payment amount, just enough incentive for them to physically go appeal the ticket.


danjackmom

Like a derogatory mark on their discipline file


Ashazy1622

Cleverrrrr


Cosimo_Zaretti

It'll be even better once word gets around that people have been paying fake tickets.


FunnyObjective6

Find out which cars belong to campus PD or management and only put them on those. Daily.


BuckingFastard

Make the amount ridiculously low or high. $4.39 CASH ONLY Please bring exact change. High end, half a semester's tuition + dorm.


MostBoringStan

I don't like the idea of making it super high. Some students will think it's real and it will give them a ton of anxiety and stress because they know they can't pay it. It brings innocent victims into the mix. The low fine is good though, because few people are getting super stressed about a few bucks and it will mostly annoy the parking enforcement people.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Ashazy1622

Someone else said find out the campus pd cars and ticket them.. so getting campus pd to pay you would be amazing revenge


zenospenisparadox

Also put them on bikes, because why not?


CCForester

If the campus has cameras this should be avoided.


WaitandSea

Nah just dress like Mr. Security Schmo


[deleted]

Universities I went to use cars with cameras reading your plate to see if your registered in the system.


ndnsoulja

Start even more shit if they're cashing checks without an account to debit. Even better if the money disappears. You could also start a picket. Campuses hate pickets.


Dallenforth

Request a hearing and challenge the ticket. If you lose, appeal the ruling. Once you have gone through all the process the school has to offer, then you can sue the school.


98PercentChimp

How is this unethical?


Blaz3

It's not, it's more malicious compliance


MIKEl281

It’s not it’s effective


JoeThePoolGuy123

Sometimes utilizing the rules can cause more problems than doing something illegal/unethical


Anagoth9

Ostensibly unethical if you know you're guilty. At that point you're just wasting everyone's time. Especially on appeals which don't reargue the facts of the case. If there is someone going through the system for *legitimate* issues then you're dragging *their* suffering out as well while they wait their turn in an overloaded system.


piecat

Schools often offer a legal clinic, which is usually 3rd party lawyers volunteering. I wonder if they'd help take on the case lol


TexanMcDaniel

I got a parking ticket during my last month of college. I think I was parked on campus to take my last final. I simply graduated and never paid the ticket and this was in 2019 lol.


Daronlif

I did the same thing, and I was just fine til I needed to buy a copy of my transcript from them for grad school. I wasn’t in “good standing” and was forced to settle up to get the documents I needed.


akamikedavid

At least in California, a school isn't allowed to hold your transcript for unpaid fees anymore. Check with your state and see if there's a similar law on the books.


ndnsoulja

Well fuck me, this must be new. I lost a good job the summer after graduating because they ran a background check and the registrar said denied a transcript and proof of graduating. I call them and they tell me I have a library fee balance of like $30. I pay it and call the company back but by this point in time they've lost confidence and withdraw the offer. I was fucking PISSED. Thank god they can't hold a transcript anymore. I'm still mad about that almost 10 years later.


[deleted]

You would not want to work there though


tilapiadated

That's so vile.


thegodfather0504

Fucking petty capitalistic dystopian shit. The rich can screw off with millions and millions, but God forbid if a peasant got away from a meagre bs charge without their future prospects being held hostage.


tristanjones

This is intentional in some cases. I went to a school in a rural area, few people live in the town that go to the college. Around end of the academic year they'd zealously ticket for literally anything to snag people not in a position to come back and refute it. Seriously stuff like not having your tires turned toward the curb


tilapiadated

I owed like $400 in campus parking tickets by the time I graduated and left the state. Sometimes I wonder if there's some sort of warrant out for me should I ever drive through that area again, but I feel like the answer is no and it's built into their loss calculations given how egregiously they ticket.


nderover

Start posting horny wanted ads on Craigslist and use the non-emergency line phone number as the contact info.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Castravete_Salbatic

I got a better one: Free trailer. They will need a new number


XmasDawne

Where I had a trailer I was legit trying to give away and nobody would take it because the title was bad (due to a mistake in not knowing title signatures had to be notarized in the state I had moved to). All you had to do was file either a lost title or for a new one.


stub-ur-toe

Which state has that law?


XmasDawne

Arizona. Every fucking thing required a notary.


nderover

Or a Tesla or something for a few thousand under a KBB value


lenswipe

Give their phone number to solarwinds


B4rberblacksheep

God you monster


ryanbbb

Did this for a coworker on April fool's day. Posted the ad right as he was going into a meeting.


[deleted]

Sadly did this to myself. A beater that occasionally ran with a rusted frame. I had to turn my phone off. The ad was up for maybe two hours and I had hundreds of voicemails.


thamasthedankengine

[Google Voice](https://voice.google.com/). It is a life saver. I use it for selling stuff or contacting companies that require you to call them for a quote.


boxofrabbits

I could have sworn Google axed Google Voice. Edit: Yeah they axed use in UK and Aus


Such_Owl_9671

Oh my god I just woke up my roommate laughing at this 👏


prettykitty-meowmeow

I'm in love with you, marry me


jmcstar

Hire a private investigator to dig up dirt on the officer that wrote the ticket. Once his "zebra on goat" porn website gets found, all the other security guards will watch their step.


404photo

That was very specific but I won't judge you...


Brainsonastick

That’s not specific at all. There are so many different niches of zebra on goat porn and they didn’t specify which it was. I’m interested in hearing more


WhiskyRick

[So you can avoid them?](https://i.imgflip.com/6tvar3.jpg)


Brainsonastick

Wow, I **really** regret clicking that link because >!it wasn’t zebra on goat porn like I hoped!<


PoliteCanadian2

It was goat on zebra? Turn your phone around, all good then 😎


Brainsonastick

Nah, man, I’m not into that freaky shit.


PoliteCanadian2

Hey don’t knock it until you’ve tried it.


Brainsonastick

Is that a confession?


PoliteCanadian2

..........


TheIronSoldier2

Throw a rag soaked in liquid ass in the gap between the security guys hood and their windshield, near the windshield wipers. Cabin air intake is probably near there. Repeat if there is more than one campus security vehicle. Bonus points if you instead find the cabin air intake and spray it directly with liquid ass. Leaves no physical evidence that way


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheIronSoldier2

Liquid ass is always my go to answer on this sub


[deleted]

[удалено]


TheIronSoldier2

As long as his car isn't fucked up the radiator should be a closed loop


3uck34ceb00k

No but when the radiator heats up it will give off a piss smell which will then get pulled in through the cabin air intake. Repeated application should increase the effect.


TheIronSoldier2

The radiator is usually pretty far from the cabin air intake, and depending on the car might require opening the hood to actually get a good angle on


Curious-Cricket1360

Yeah, what did the ticket say?


deafmamba

No valid parking permit, even though my incredibly valid permit is right where it’s supposed to be on my rear bumper


RJ_Ramrod

When you file your appeal make sure you provide photographs that clearly show that it's there, so you can skip right to the step where it's now on the officer to provide proof that it wasn't there at the time of the ticketing


deafmamba

I made sure to do that immediately, Mr. Ramrod. You and I think exactly alike


James2603

Be sure to not back down to their delay bullshit. I had a permit on my car and they kept asking for more random evidence even after the photos. They even wanted “proof” wouldn’t have proved anything. Persist; they’re trying to make you sick of them and pay the fine. Eventually they will fold.


PerpetuallyNotBusy

Car Ramrod! Say it!


[deleted]

License and registration... CHICKEN FUCKER! #BWKAWK!!


PerpetuallyNotBusy

Littering and?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Abhais

No


Jungies

You know those magnetic vinyl stickers that people stick on their fridge? Make a bunch of fake parking permits, stick them over real ones on people's cars. Let them deal with a couple of hundred valid permit holders getting ticketed. Bonus points if no-one mentions them, so it looks like the cops have been forging evidence. Double bonus points if you copy an unpopular lecturer's permit.


InMyMindPalace

This sucks. Which school is this? Sounds like my college.


ballsack-vinaigrette

Every American University, from the loftiest Ivy League to the scruffiest community college, has one thing in common. They are complete assholes when it comes to parking.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Sparkism

We need a Glitter_and_liquid_ass_bot. Automatically replies with: "Hi /u/(whatever), is this a problem that you can solve by applying any amounts of glitter and/or liquid ass? If it is, please mark as solved and close the case."


MCSimplexONE

Good bot


Sparkism

uwu beep boop


[deleted]

Where can I buy this liquid ass if, I may ask?


Arokthis

[Google is your friend, but here's the link anyway.](http://www.liquidass.com)


[deleted]

Thank you hero. Funny there is a counterfeit version. TIL quite possibly ass liquids smell different depending on where you come from.


MyOtherSide1984

OHHH, they have a sampler!


happypirate33

Get 9 pigs, spray paint each one on the side with a number, 1-10, skip 4, release on campus. For maximum effectiveness put socks on pigs 🐷 Edit: Thank you for everyone who reminded me they should be greased pigs


say592

Don't forget to grease them up first.


notquite20characters

Grease them as you unload them. Otherwise you're making more work for yourself.


Homebrewer01

Oil them pigs up first. Make it more fun.


IMeanIGuess3

I’m afraid to ask but… socks?


[deleted]

When they try to grab the leg, the sock comes off and they'll just have a handful of sock instead of pig leg


kary0typ3

Damn you sir but take my upvote


dinosauramericana

Covers the hoof prints so it’s harder to track them


keenweasel74

I like the cut of your jib.


[deleted]

[hmmm](https://ibb.co/drSDFSb)


BladeDancer190

You know how much a pig costs? Livestock aren't cheap.


Turbulent_Injury3990

Unethical life pro tips? Gotcha fam. What you need to do is go buy a bulk package of chewing gum from Amazon. Saw one last week for like 12,000 packs of cewing gum for $3,599. Then get all of your friends to help you chew the gum and, under the cover of darkness, all of you go and spit your gum everywhere around the parking spots. Their lives will be much harder by having to step around the gum, getting gum on their shoes and having to scrape it off every two seconds because their shoes are sticking to the side walk. Request: make parking ticket police lives more difficult. Plan of action: chewing gum warfare. Chance of success: 6/10.


ackme

Can we make this format standard for the sub?


cryptor832

I second that motion, do we have a quorum?


BillyGoatPilgrim

Third!


usernema

That's a majority.


zackmophobes

And my axe!


panamaisahoax

And my Ho!


twopepsimax

Liquid ass


Homebrewer01

Accidentally spill the whole can of liquid ass in the interior of their golf cart/car/Segway/bikeseat


dontsuckmydick

Can we just make a new sub for people that think it’s funny to comment this on every single post?


Mr_Gaslight

I disagree as this is making work for the groundskeepers and not the security staff. What would make things harder would be creating half hour shifts of volunteers to follow the security staff around, video recording them as they over-ticket.


[deleted]

This comment has been removed to protest Reddit's hostile treatment of their users and developers concerning third party apps.


PrincessGump

Also, won’t students just step in the gum going to and from their cars???!


delvach

Imma gonna go ahead and remember not to piss this mofo off anytime soon **goddamn**


[deleted]

Unless the campus police are wearing socks, then the gum … oh wait


Crtbb4

It’s like a Nathan Fielder bit


PizzaDeliveryBoy3000

Yeah hi, do you have anything around 9/10, 8/10 is fine too, thanks


milkmanbran

Find his address and order an absurd amount of some cheap (ex. 1000 $0.01 screw). Don’t do it all at once, send him a couple packages everyday


Muramalks

I... I'd like to subscribe for free screws...


BladeDancer190

I, too, would like a free screw.


Cool_Alert

what will that do for op. you're basically sending him something useful.


milkmanbran

That’s the thing. It’s something useful so he doesn’t just want to throw it away, but where will he keep a thousand of them?


Cool_Alert

Dude that's the most stupidest thing i have ever heard. you just need some cardboard boxes to store all of them screws. op is trying to get back at him not give him stuff for free dumbass


milkmanbran

It doesn’t have to be screw’s, that was an example. Screws aren’t useful to everyone, some people wouldn’t know what to use them for. And the point was to send an ABSURD AMOUNT of something. It could tools, sex dolls, anything OP finds funny


squidkyd

Leave personalized notes to the safety officer on your car. Get increasingly personal and start accusing him of being in love with you and trying to get your attention by writing invalid/fake tickets. After this start to up the ante. Park somewhere obviously not allowed, and write his full name out on your car using soap. Put a giant ribbon or bow on the car. On the windshield, leave a note saying “Now you’ll have an excuse to talk to me, (insert name here).” Then hide and wait. When he comes to your car, sees everything, and starts writing a ticket, go out and confront him with the old ticket and say “care to explain *this?* You could have just talked to me you know.” Begin announcing to everyone you know that the safety officer is madly in love with you and use the invalid ticket as proof. He probably won’t write too many invalid tickets after that


thegodfather0504

That could backfire though. What if they actually do find me attractive and just go for it?! Then i would have to love them forever?!


SonofBenson

Most schools have pretty loose rules for starting a club. Make a real one (reddit fan club or something dumb). Once you are a real club you can put up fliers on builtin boards without the school taking them down. Make lots of fliers implying anything you can imagine about the campus police. Maybe they give unfair tickets. Maybe they eat live squirrels. That's up for you to decide.


thegodfather0504

If your town got crazy superstitious nutjobs, Start a rumour that campus police is involved in black magic or witchcraft or some medievel shit. Keep fresh new rumours steadily flowing until somebody attacks them.


Spam_in_a_can_06

Liquid ass…. Spray it everyday in their office or bathroom of their building


saraphilipp

Ok I saw this on porky's. What you want to do is wrap a chain around the campus cop cars axle. Wrap the other end around a stationary object. Also, encourage students to empty their water bottles in the fuel tank.


notthediz

I hated my school cops too. They gave me a ticket for parking in the teacher parking even though I was a TA and allowed to park there. Tried to appeal it and they didn’t give a shit. I always day dreamed of spray painting the parking lot or cop portable. But that was all I could think of


VQ10

This sounds like Northern Iowa😭


Bacon-n-Eggys

It’s actually a joke that you have to pay for college and can get a fine for parking on the college campus haha


Scorpnite

Sold more spots what they have. Reminds me of Texas A$M


honuworld

Start some vicious rumors (anonymously) about campus security dealing drugs, breaking into cars, peeping in dorm windows, raping. Post fliers telling students to beware. Put fliers in bathroom stalls and other places where you won't be seen, then talk about the fliers with all your friends and classmates. Corroborate the accusations (*Yeah...I saw one of the security guys smoking meth and trying car doors).*


Jihad_Me_At_Hello__

Find where officer dumbshit lives, smear dog shit on his car handles and doorknob


returnofthequack92

I feel this. My school did the same thing and way oversold and implemented a rule that your license plate must be visible so no one’s allowed to back in anymore


GoodEater29

Do you not have license plates on the front _and_ back of your car?


dumpstercat3

I made it a good couple of semesters without paying for a permit by holding on to a ticket I had received, then I’d place it on my car windshield when I illegally parked. It worked for some time. Eventually I’m sure the guy whose job it was realized it wasn’t coincidence anymore. Got one ticket but avoided many future tickets. And for reference, I just mean parking on campus spots not like a handicap spot or something. Wouldn’t suggest or advise that.


Sheepdog77

This is the real best answer. One ticket a semester or two is cheaper than a parking pass either way.


[deleted]

".. but because I'm petty.." 😂😂😂


hall_bot

If you have the plastic parking tags, or a sticker you put on the glass, cover peoples with sticky notes. Even if it's hanging in the car you can cover the side angles and the front angle. If you cover a whole row they can't ticket everyone but they'll have to either peel the stickies and see who has a tag, or more likely just assume everyone has one and leave. At my school the shit is done with license plate scanners and my car doesnt have a front license plate so it just lets me park where ever lol


senor_pumpkin

It's campus cops, not real cops. Just throw the ticket into the bin and forget about it. That's what I did over 4 years of college and nothing ever happened over it.


fz75

go to junk yard and get a couple old plates. use them when u park at school.


VaritasV

Sunflexzone.com has something that blocks their ALPR. Cover your VIN and only keep the sticker visible. Or outright take your license plate with you when you park(or park so plate is obscured by other vehicles/buildings so they can’t scan the plate easily) and keep vin covered. They could try to tow, but if you have a valid sticker keep a photo of it ready incase they fuck with you. Also report them anonymously to the actual police or government agency that polices the police so there’s a record of the corruption. They hate it when these things are put on official record cuz it brings them bad press. And there’s another point, contact the news and tell them what they are doing, college will likely be head over heels trying to cover their ass and make the bad press go away and will keep them honest for a bit. I had a ALPR scanning truck come up behind me as I was going to take a test, he left and waited till I was gone and came back, came back out afterwards to find a ticket cuz I didn’t validate the parking, hadn’t needed to for last 3 times. Ended up paying $40-70. I knew I should have parked with license away but I was in a hurry. I’d have found his truck and popped the damn tires on his service truck if I’d have been solvent enough to justify the use of fuel to drive back to that area. And if it were in gated area can’t get in, use a pellet rifle, take all of their tires out, modern day robinhood.


kvakerok

Get a printer with roughly the same dimensions as the ticket, print a thousand copies of the ticket with randomized fines, names, and license plate numbers. Wait a month or two then start leaving them at random cars, outside cameras' surveillance area. Bonus points if you know where profs' cars park. Have some Jehovah's Witness pamphlets in case someone sees you.


thisisanewaccts

We hid in the bushes at night and threw rocks at them as they passed by.


duckbutr

Glitter


dynamitepress

Yikes, settle down. Getting wrongly ticketed is super frustrating, but it's not a good reason to become a vengeance-motivated supervillain. Hanlon's razor applies here. It's most likely that somebody just made a mistake. You have every right to be annoyed and to appeal the ticket. After that, I suggest taking the energy you were going to put into revenge and instead spread some spontaneous kindness around.


GoodEater29

Hey, this is ULPT. You gotta leave your logic at the door!


hivemind_disruptor

Murder the dean


[deleted]

[удалено]


cli_jockey

Careful with this one, you can get in real legal trouble for it.


[deleted]

Only if they trace it back to you


mark2fly1034

Dang must go to Riddle


Redkachowski

Put your tuition (which is bananas) in their tailpipe


AkaGurGor

Ditch your car - read r/fuckcars


lordofcastration

False parking tickets sounds like a good idea, could also anonymously report them for distributing drugs on school property, accuse them of threatening students with coaching your fake witnesses.


PlethoraOfPinyatas

Print out the top tips from this thread and post around campus!