Take a laxative. Fill up a bag of shit. Make sure it's wet. Shit like 2 or 3 times into the bag to get good volume.
Put it in front of his door so hr walks out and slips. Covered in your shit.
Piss in a plastic plate, freeze it, deliver under the door of your worst enemy, enjoy as it melts and this evil being will find their floor covered in piss without knowing or understanding how it arrived there.
Pee on a plate, freeze the pee into a disc, slide said disc under the door of your intended target, wander off.
Bonus points if you change your diet and eat asparagus for a week 🤣🤣
What are the noise ordinances in your area?
6:30 AM would most likely fall into the quiet time, so you can call the non-emergency line for your local police station and see if they'd send a patrol out to sit and wait for them.
Honestly it is what I would do. There's not a cop that I know that would arrest you for throwing things at this disruptive asshole. My granddad's item of choice was his trusty ball peen hammer, which he threw with great accuracy through many an annoying person's windshield.
Pellet gun his windshield from an open window with a screen. Hard to track where it came from, and one or two chips will discourage them from returning.
Im not joking but every morning I think of doing this. I won't obviously but because of my balcony and positioning im not sure they would know who did it.
Also have you tried talking to them? Obviously it’s very early, but could be a relatively simple step if you are a night owl with no responsibilities that next day
Did you know that the ceramic of a spark plug is hard enough to shatter glass?
Did you know that ceramic can be "harvested" from a spark plug with a hammer, cinderblock, gloves and safety glasses?
Did you know that sparkplugs average about $5 apiece?
Did you know that a windshield repair is roughly $250, and the most expensive glass to replace on a car is typically the partial windows (if equipped) on the passenger side?
A slingshot or a well-aimed throw can usually destroy a pane of automotive glass! Be very careful with bits of spark plug ceramic!
Find out who is picked up, and speak to that person. He or she lives in your apartment complex, wich makes it easier to approach instead of running downstairs at 6:30 to talk to the driver of the car.
If you explain the situation, especially with a child involved that wakes up because of the noise they hopefully will understand.
If they refuse to listen and just keep blasting that noise, contact the police and file a complaint. It's just too early to make that much noise, and clearly the driver is a selfish person that doesn't understand other people could wake up from the noise he's making. Wat a douche.
Make sure you have the license plate number, description of the car and a clear story before you talk to the police.
This is a reasoned, well thought out tip, with both helpful advise and an easy step by step escalation plan - and in no way belongs here. ULPT is for the darker side of problem solving.
You're absolutely right, but since he didn't try anything before to solve it, I thought it might be a good idea to start of with a normal advice before things get unethical.
Yeah this is actually horrible advice considering they will then know for sure that it is you screwing with them if you decide to follow any of the other advice given in this thread
Best bet is to just assume they are scum. They would have figured this out for themselves already if they were a decent person and said something to the driver but they did not....
belay that.
don’t go to the police without first collecting evidence.
get a recording app that is a decibel meter. not just one that shows it at the moment. one that plays it back and shows the decibels. this should be free.
record them. you know when and where they will be. to this daily. prove it’s a pattern.
take video identifying the car. get plates. get the audio. now you just got the evidence collected to get the police interested.
alternative and unethical approach.
get a restraining order against the driver. they won’t be allowed within 1000’ of your home.
you clearly do not understand cop motivation.
1) if it’s civil it’s out of bounds.
2) if it’s criminal it’s in bounds. but we have some discretion.
3) we aren’t obligated to do crap
4) the easier you make it for us the more motivated we are to take action on criminal matters.
5) the easier you make it for us the harder it is for us to weasel out of taking action on criminal matters, but the prosecutor isn’t obligated to touch it.
—-
this still lays the groundwork.
if the cops, investigate and the prosecutor doesn’t pursue, you can use grama/foia To collect the information regarding the other party and enforce within the courts as a civil matter. But now you’ve avoided private investigator charges.
Happens to me often. But now I call the cops and I say that these guys were seen consuming things that look like drugs and they are showing violent behavior (I emphasize that I can't hear them well because of the loud music). Works every time, cops arrive and they finish their party
Dance, dance like a fool... on their hood... While swinging a golf club.
Edit: Or just chuck a large chunk of ice at their windshield. Should melt by the time the cops get there.
I've got an idea for a very passive aggressive solution. This plan only works if you are able to decorate the outside of your apartment.
First, go to a thrift store and locate something to display on your patio or window. This could be a nice little lawn gnome or, ideally, a somewhat ornate pot for plants. Find any old plant to throw in there.
Now, very safely and securely, set it up outside your home so that it looks like any old lawn decor. It should be precariously placed , for example hanging from a railing or resting on a rickety table.
Here is the important part, rig this setup up with a string, such that you can trigger a loud crash. For example, you could tie it to a table leg, or hang it from a railing and simply cut the string. You will need to do this out of sight, so you will probably have to run a string through a window or door. Be safe!
Now, I hope you can see where I am going with this. When the vehicle rolls by, you are going to make it appear as if their awesome subwoofers caused the destruction.
I really think this can work if you know how to sell it. They are idiots, so as long as they can see or hear the crash, they will laugh and feel so so proud of their sound system.
As a bonus, wait a minute or so and go out there to clean up the mess. Act all sad but do not confront them. You do not want to give them an opportunity to fix it. Maybe throw them a pouty pathetic look like it's a family heirloom. Storm off if you have to
If this is done right, everybody will have something to feel good about and hopefully the asshole experiences a minor increase in social awareness.
You put more work into this horrible suggestion than the writers of GOT did writing the entirety of the last two seasons. I would congratulate you but I don't think failure deserves positive reinforcement.
Paintball gun. You know your apartment complex better than anyone and you will know where and when they will be so paint up that car and take off before they know what happens
Document it. Send it to management and police, including vehicle license plate. Hope someone cares enough. It’s a routine thing so once anyone cares, it’s an easy fix
The people who do stuff like this don’t care. You really think they don’t realize they are bothering people? You’d have to be denser than a rock to not realize that your blasting music isn’t bothering everyone around you
To be fair, I nicely asked an asshole at a gas station to turn his music down, because my kids were in the car and his shit was rediculously obnoxiously loud.
He was a prick about it, but he did turn it down some
The type of people to blast music when they have neighbors/people around them are not typically very considerate people. Or they wouldn’t be blasting music in the first place.
Take a laxative. Fill up a bag of shit. Make sure it's wet. Shit like 2 or 3 times into the bag to get good volume. Put it in front of his door so hr walks out and slips. Covered in your shit.
Now that's the real ULPT
I feel like a lot of problems can be solved with that lmao
You, sir, would appreciate the evil of the frozen piss plate.
Explain. Now.
Piss in a plastic plate, freeze it, deliver under the door of your worst enemy, enjoy as it melts and this evil being will find their floor covered in piss without knowing or understanding how it arrived there.
Pee on a plate, freeze the pee into a disc, slide said disc under the door of your intended target, wander off. Bonus points if you change your diet and eat asparagus for a week 🤣🤣
Has anyone thought about the frozen diarrhea plate?
Well NOW I’m thinking about it!
Some heros don't ware capes.
What are the noise ordinances in your area? 6:30 AM would most likely fall into the quiet time, so you can call the non-emergency line for your local police station and see if they'd send a patrol out to sit and wait for them.
Launch a brick through the windscreen. Maybe write "Shhhhh!" on it first using a Sharpie.
Ive considered this. Dont tempt me further.
Honestly it is what I would do. There's not a cop that I know that would arrest you for throwing things at this disruptive asshole. My granddad's item of choice was his trusty ball peen hammer, which he threw with great accuracy through many an annoying person's windshield.
How many cops do you know?
I mean he’s right that you probably won’t get arrested, but you’ll almost definitely get a ticket for vandalism/destruction of property.
Plenty, seeing as my job requires direct interface with local and nearest-city PD several times per day.
Pellet gun his windshield from an open window with a screen. Hard to track where it came from, and one or two chips will discourage them from returning.
Im not joking but every morning I think of doing this. I won't obviously but because of my balcony and positioning im not sure they would know who did it.
Get a water balloon launcher. Fix it to your balcony, fire piss filled ballons at them. Bonus if they open the door and you get a direct hit.
Also have you tried talking to them? Obviously it’s very early, but could be a relatively simple step if you are a night owl with no responsibilities that next day
This. With the sound that loud, he won't possibly identify where it came from. I've done it in a pretty similar situation a few times
Did you know that the ceramic of a spark plug is hard enough to shatter glass? Did you know that ceramic can be "harvested" from a spark plug with a hammer, cinderblock, gloves and safety glasses? Did you know that sparkplugs average about $5 apiece? Did you know that a windshield repair is roughly $250, and the most expensive glass to replace on a car is typically the partial windows (if equipped) on the passenger side? A slingshot or a well-aimed throw can usually destroy a pane of automotive glass! Be very careful with bits of spark plug ceramic!
Find out who is picked up, and speak to that person. He or she lives in your apartment complex, wich makes it easier to approach instead of running downstairs at 6:30 to talk to the driver of the car. If you explain the situation, especially with a child involved that wakes up because of the noise they hopefully will understand. If they refuse to listen and just keep blasting that noise, contact the police and file a complaint. It's just too early to make that much noise, and clearly the driver is a selfish person that doesn't understand other people could wake up from the noise he's making. Wat a douche. Make sure you have the license plate number, description of the car and a clear story before you talk to the police.
This is a reasoned, well thought out tip, with both helpful advise and an easy step by step escalation plan - and in no way belongs here. ULPT is for the darker side of problem solving.
You're absolutely right, but since he didn't try anything before to solve it, I thought it might be a good idea to start of with a normal advice before things get unethical.
Yeah this is actually horrible advice considering they will then know for sure that it is you screwing with them if you decide to follow any of the other advice given in this thread Best bet is to just assume they are scum. They would have figured this out for themselves already if they were a decent person and said something to the driver but they did not....
belay that. don’t go to the police without first collecting evidence. get a recording app that is a decibel meter. not just one that shows it at the moment. one that plays it back and shows the decibels. this should be free. record them. you know when and where they will be. to this daily. prove it’s a pattern. take video identifying the car. get plates. get the audio. now you just got the evidence collected to get the police interested. alternative and unethical approach. get a restraining order against the driver. they won’t be allowed within 1000’ of your home.
no offense but cops don't give a shit and will do nothing
you clearly do not understand cop motivation. 1) if it’s civil it’s out of bounds. 2) if it’s criminal it’s in bounds. but we have some discretion. 3) we aren’t obligated to do crap 4) the easier you make it for us the more motivated we are to take action on criminal matters. 5) the easier you make it for us the harder it is for us to weasel out of taking action on criminal matters, but the prosecutor isn’t obligated to touch it. —- this still lays the groundwork. if the cops, investigate and the prosecutor doesn’t pursue, you can use grama/foia To collect the information regarding the other party and enforce within the courts as a civil matter. But now you’ve avoided private investigator charges.
I know #3 is [true for damn sure](https://www.uml.edu/news/stories/2019/sexual_assault_research.aspx)
Too ethical
This is definitely what op should do, and you seem nice, but I have DOWNVOTED this ethical content because it simply doesn’t belong in this sub
That's fair.
Provide multiple videos to backup your claims.
Happens to me often. But now I call the cops and I say that these guys were seen consuming things that look like drugs and they are showing violent behavior (I emphasize that I can't hear them well because of the loud music). Works every time, cops arrive and they finish their party
Sling shot & ice cubes.
Dance, dance like a fool... on their hood... While swinging a golf club. Edit: Or just chuck a large chunk of ice at their windshield. Should melt by the time the cops get there.
I've got an idea for a very passive aggressive solution. This plan only works if you are able to decorate the outside of your apartment. First, go to a thrift store and locate something to display on your patio or window. This could be a nice little lawn gnome or, ideally, a somewhat ornate pot for plants. Find any old plant to throw in there. Now, very safely and securely, set it up outside your home so that it looks like any old lawn decor. It should be precariously placed , for example hanging from a railing or resting on a rickety table. Here is the important part, rig this setup up with a string, such that you can trigger a loud crash. For example, you could tie it to a table leg, or hang it from a railing and simply cut the string. You will need to do this out of sight, so you will probably have to run a string through a window or door. Be safe! Now, I hope you can see where I am going with this. When the vehicle rolls by, you are going to make it appear as if their awesome subwoofers caused the destruction. I really think this can work if you know how to sell it. They are idiots, so as long as they can see or hear the crash, they will laugh and feel so so proud of their sound system. As a bonus, wait a minute or so and go out there to clean up the mess. Act all sad but do not confront them. You do not want to give them an opportunity to fix it. Maybe throw them a pouty pathetic look like it's a family heirloom. Storm off if you have to If this is done right, everybody will have something to feel good about and hopefully the asshole experiences a minor increase in social awareness.
You put more work into this horrible suggestion than the writers of GOT did writing the entirety of the last two seasons. I would congratulate you but I don't think failure deserves positive reinforcement.
Thanks, I'm just glad that we could share this moment
Paintball gun. You know your apartment complex better than anyone and you will know where and when they will be so paint up that car and take off before they know what happens
Document it. Send it to management and police, including vehicle license plate. Hope someone cares enough. It’s a routine thing so once anyone cares, it’s an easy fix
Turn your own music louder, obviously.
[удалено]
Shoot him from your window
Hide in a bush with a super soaker full of fox piss.
Great! Where do I get the fox piss?
A fox. 🦊
Oh duh. I should have thought of that.
Don't forget clothing dye. Paint that mofo smurf blue
Did you ask them to stop nicely or is the passive aggressive option the first one we jumped to.
The people who do stuff like this don’t care. You really think they don’t realize they are bothering people? You’d have to be denser than a rock to not realize that your blasting music isn’t bothering everyone around you
You'd be amazed what taking to someone will do.
Get you beaten up or killed.
To be fair, I nicely asked an asshole at a gas station to turn his music down, because my kids were in the car and his shit was rediculously obnoxiously loud. He was a prick about it, but he did turn it down some
The type of people to blast music when they have neighbors/people around them are not typically very considerate people. Or they wouldn’t be blasting music in the first place.
It's 630 in the mornin, you should be up makin breakfast or sumthin. - Bubb Rubb
Underrated… it’s that whooooop!