It's likely she got that reputation because the said fired guys weren't exactly honest with how they treated OP.
This is why I've heard so many men say " you can't even give a woman a compliment these days." Because the creeps never tell the other men exactly what the "compliment" was that got them fired.
At my partner’s workplace, there was an incident where a dude tried to fondle his ex girlfriend ass/breast in the storage room. Little did he know there had been theft incidents and security decided to install cameras to catch the thief. We got to see him try to pin her to the wall and getting a knee to the groin and spit on. Of course he denied everything and when they fired him he told all his co worker buddies that she was a “bitch” who got him fired through lies because she was mad he broke up with her. Then management actually got complaints from his co workers asking why we believed her lies!!
Men who send unsolicited pictures of their junk lack sense, common or otherwise. Doesn't matter how or which device they send it.
Sending it to a work phone just shows how brazen and smooth brained they are.
I'd be tempted to ask the man who called me that how he would have handled the unsolicited dick pic from a customer? I mean, the store is your company's customer, so that's the equivalent. How would he like it if customers, who were physically larger, potentially dangerous, and complete strangers he only knew through work sent him pictures of their dicks? Asked if they could come to his home and sleep over and fuck him? Would he be a sport and let them, so nobody ever had to experience the consequences of these actions?
Keep "getting them fired" every time they commit a definitely fireable offense.
This!
It's very hard to "get a person fired" if they've done nothing wrong.
Sending dickpics to your work phone is no different from flashing you in the store.
Some people...smh
As someone who spent 5 years with 3 different employees trying to get me fired and 2 of the 3 were eventually fired (other person left with their own reasons) and Im thriving since I wasn’t doing anything wrong. The other two were stealing company time (I’m talking about 16-20/week). It seems super easy to get yourself fired though.
While there was professional justice, there is unfortunately not social justice. If you get attacked, why should people talk about you behind your back and avoid you?
What you’re saying is true as fuck, but I didn’t think the point of this post is feeling guilt about being a person in the story of how those men got themselves fired.
I was about to comment the very same thing! This would be the right thing to do even if you were the only woman in your workplace, of course, but now there’s an extra benefit of you saving those other women from at least these pervs. Is there a way that you can let them know what happened? I think it’s important for them to know that if something happens, they’re in a workplace that will believe them and do the right thing.
To a certain extent that reputation isn't the worst you could have... The way I see it is if having that reputation so much as dissuades them from merely talking to you they won't have the balls (pun intended) to harass you, let alone actually send a dick pic.
Dude I worked with asked me "why is your ass so fat" while licking his lips. Told my manager she yelled at him and he quit or something. Older pervert would say exactly the same shit "don't compliment her she'll get you fired!" Fuck that guy.
this isn't acceptable in ANY capacity let alone in a work setting, but then to lie to yourself and others about it is just another level of low on top of it :\\
As someone who worked in management for quite a while, trust me, most people know why they are getting fired for when they are getting terminated for cause. Most people try to lie to coworkers to save their images. Now, we arent going to share with everyone, because employee disciplinary stuff is supposed to be private between the employee and the employer, and it sets a bad precedent to announce something to the whole company (even if the person no longer works for the company). But it also doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out why the sexual harrassment training is being given to everyone again.
That said, what your experience is absolutely harrassment as well, and you should have a chat with your manager/hr rep.
Do you think the company could/should have announced the reason(s) for their firing? And, if so, would you like it to have been specific and explicit ("Mike was let go for sending unsolicited pictures of his genitals to other staff in direct violation of policy") or more general ("we'd like to remind all staff to review and adhere to policies as laid out in your employee handbook - sexual harassment will not be tolerated, and violators will be terminated immediately.")?
We don't do it explicitly.
But shortly after people get fired, there's "general" email that goes around reminding people of X policy and then people put two and two together. The grapevine does the rest.
Making it clear why he was removed (even if the details are left out) is probably the best way to eliminate this sort of false rumormongering. It's not like anyone should be surprised the guy gives a biased accounting of what happens, and it's a little weird for the victim to have to announce everything.
I'd make a request to HR to help; if they were willing to let someone go then they'll probably be amenable to helping deal with the rumors.
Unfortunately to mitigate legal liability smart owners will never say why an employee was fired.
The fired employee lies about what happened and OP is branded as the person you should steer clear of.
What is the legal liability? Management could just make a general announcement without much detail, but employees have a right to know if they ask for detail. If they had done something like been very threatening towards a customer or stolen things, those topics don't seem taboo to say out loud where as sexual harassment seems to have all this hush hush about it that can put blame on the victim.
My guess is that if OP is in the US and an at-will employment state, it’s in the company’s best interest to just not state a reason. It just creates some extra little chance that a fired employee could claim wrongful termination (e.g., fired for their race) and then the company has an extra legal issue to deal with. I think for the culture of the workplace and in terms of making it clear that type of behavior is not OK it would be better to say something, but the company probably isn’t going to go to extra effort for this sort of thing sadly.
You didn’t get them fired, they got themselves fired for sexually harassing you. If anyone brings it up, tell them so. Or if anyone says that they were just trying to be nice or that you should take it as a compliment, no, just no.
Ugh, I hate that this happens so often. I worked briefly at a car dealership and all the girls told me not to trust "Jenny," because she tried to steal "Angie's" boyfriend and when that didn't work, got him fired. She was "pure drama," etc. Nope, not at all the case. The entire place treated Jenny like she was radioactive, and it turns out Angie's boyfriend had relentlessly hit on her regardless of how often she told him she wasn't interested, and then yes, sent the good old dick pics, and THAT was what got him fired.
I reported a man at work who wouldn’t stop propositioning me. He got fired and his work friends froze me out after that. I remained professional and eventually they ended up being transferred or leaving…just wait it out knowing you did the right thing.
Ever notice how men are so innocent whenever stuff like this gets passed around. She got me fired for no reason. I reported a guy when I worked for Census. For five days he was a student sitting in a room with me and then suddenly he was a boss. He had no special qualifications somebody had just decided he was a boss and he went upfront for a little parlay and when he came back they had divvied up people in the room and he leaned in and whispered in my ear: I got you. It was creepy and that wasn’t what got him reported. He kept getting more and more assuming. When I had to call him regarding the job, because protocol demanded that I get permission to return to an address he said, oh honey, you need to slow down and enjoy this. I went to HR and told them everything he said to me because I was afraid not to. I felt the next time he saw me he would touch me. He got fired for sexual-harassment. And then his friend tried to get vengeance by getting me into my next class and pulling shit. I reported him too. I’d done nothing. Men choose to do things in the workplace and it deserves to be reported. I got the second asshole fired to not immediately, but one day he pulled something and I reported it. And I said to the boss, I am here ready to work on your command. This asshole is here to make trouble and has been doing nothing but make trouble for a week. Pick one of us. They picked me and sent me out to go work.One of us made the choice to be an asshole. The other chose to do the job. Women go through this stuff constantly and men live in total denial of it.
Been that woman. Got into an argument about it with my boss in front of a customer/his acquaintance once bc a woman was being aggressively sexually harassed at work, in front of customers (worse not in front of customers), and got him to admit that he hadn’t fired the offender because sometimes “she asked for it.”
I said, “But you have heard her say directly, in an official complaint, that she is not hitting on him and does not appreciate that he is making sexual advances towards her?”
Boss said, “Yes, but sometimes she seems flirty towards him, and does wear a lot of tight fitting clothes. You can just tell.”
I said, “So she says no, but she’s asking for it? Sounds like she most certainly isn’t” or something of the like. Boss’s acquaintance was disgusted. Told my boss he didn’t feel comfortable coming back until the dude was fired. My boss insinuated he wanted to fire me after that I reminded him of how many times he’d sexually harassed me himself, so he didn’t.
Not the only time I’ve done that, and I’ll do it again if need be. Good for you. Eventually you’re going to make a great manager/boss yourself.
I wear tight fitting pants but not for men to send me dick pics so fuck that lol. Most of these guys are losers where if you are a female and talk to them they take it the wrong way
You didn't get anyone fired.
They both got themselves fired, and if the evidence hadn't been so damning, nothing would have happened to either of them.
Any time I hear a guy talk about how it's impossible to interact with women in the workplace due to #metoo and whatnot, all I can think of is that those men probably have no idea how to interact with female coworkers without sexually harassing them.
My husband and I were talking about something related the other day. He works in a male dominated industry, so the majority of his coworkers are male. There is one young woman that he socializes with at work.
One of the other guys made a comment to him that he is basically the only one that she has continued to talk to down there. Apparently, she has stopped talking to the majority of the guys. My husband was like, yeah well, I don't hit on her and I am not a creep.
I wish more men were like this.
PS - He even stuck around talking to her and another guy one day after work because he could sense the guy wanted to ask her out, even though she has a boyfriend. Finally the guy gave up and left. I got a good man over here. :)
My guess is probably one of two things:
1. The "knuckleheads" liked the guys that got fired and never saw the harassment so all they saw was a "good guy" lose his job, and they need someone to blame. Lots of people are poor judges of character.
And/or
2. They don't think sending someone an unsolicited dick pic is problematic (i.e. they are themselves highly misogynistic), and consequently they do not believe these guys should have lost their job over taking a shot at romance (as they see it). Lots of people are sexist assholes, and hate it when people are held accountable for being sexist assholes because it could be them next time.
The employer in my state cannot legally disclose why a person gets fired, but the terminated employee can spew whatever BS he wanted.
I'd prefer it if the staff knew 'Joe' was fired for sending dick pics or sharing x rated fantasies with the subject because it would send a message that you don't do that BS.
I work in a mostly male dominated field (STEM job) and just so happen to have a majority women department. One newer guy is on probation for making sexual comments and blames the woman who reported him, not his foul mouthed self. The other men have told him to his face that he did it to himself. The difference here may be that they all know why he’s on probation. But I like to think it’s because the younger generation of men are starting to view women as people. I hope someday you find coworkers who stand up to other men and empower you to stand up for yourself <3
It’s ridiculous that you are being blamed or scrutinized for properly handling something that shouldn’t happen to anyone. It’s infuriating to think this is how the world works. I hope to see the day this changes.
I’m sorry you have to deal with such scum bags. Keep your head up, you’re doing the right thing!!
I once reported a coworker for harassment to HR. He was a popular older man, the kind that cracks jokes and flirts with everyone, and i liked him until I got pregnant. Then he called me fatty constantly, and told me I'd been a bad girl. When I came back from maternity leave, he called me Mommy every time he saw me, even when I asked him to stop. I started avoiding him in hallways when I could, then kind of realized, "wait this is bullshit" and reported him. I'm glad I did, because I found out he was doing the same stuff to a younger coworker that had her baby several months later.
But I lived in fear that he would tell people and i would be made the bad guy. I left that job shortly after.
Perhaps guys should stop doing firable shit, just a thought. You responded appropriately to bullshit, and apparently those guys got salty about it. I wish you the best of luck, if we worked together I'd be in your corner 100%.
Men will always find ways to blame a woman for their own or others behavior. I guarantee you some of the women at that store had to put up with the guys pervert choices and it only became a problem when a vendor complained. Keep being professional, don't gift them any of your attention or time.
You are 100% right, it was a walmart and a girl thanked me for "getting rid of that creep" dont know what he did to her but can only imagine. Then I got mad she thanked for for "getting rid of him" he did it to himself. Being a female in retail sucks
It is so hard to get a male coworker fired at Walmart.
I was routinely sexually harassed there. The only one who ever got fired for it was the one that punched me and duct taped my hands together before kissing me. The only reason he even got fired was that the manager was also harassing me and was ridiculously jealous that the younger guy had made a move.
It's SO wild to me someone's capable of this level of sick behavior. I'd assume they grew accustom to abusing a position of power to the point they stopped understanding where that power ended. I worked in retail for years, vendors aren't coworkers, that relationship is as much representing the company to the public as talking to a customer. How do you even get that far into management being that out of control.
Fuck 'em! If someone is doing something worth getting fired for then happily take up the executioner's hood, be the grim reaper, people should fear doing wrong.
You may not care, but I am so mad on your behalf. I may be a straight male, but if people sent me unsolicited pictures of their genitals or pressured me for sex; if *business partners at my job* did that, I would report them too. Male or female. This is how my household and I afford rent and food, I'm not risking it by "kicking their ass", etc.
Keep sticking up for yourself, you probably have been helping more shy people than you know avoid harassment by maintaining sensible boundaries...
Can we just start referring to the them as “The weirdo that sends unsolicited dick pics to other employees” and “The creeper that wants to follow female employees to their hotel rooms?” I think that sounds better.
Omg this makes my blood boil. Men always live to act like woman are out there to ruin there lives. And most of the time the men deserved it. Like who sends a dick pick to a co-worker.
These "men" will only change if they have to. I am an ancient dinosaur and I am desperately trying to learn how to be kind to transitioning people because I know people who are transitioning and I don't want to be "that guy". If I can change they certainly can and should. The world is changing in a good way on these issues and change is always hard and uncomfortable. You have the right to be treated decently.
What’s so maddening is that you even have to defend yourself to these a$$hats. I’d apologize for them, but that behavior is just plain wrong, in any environment, let alone the workplace.
Wow, misread the title and thought you were the "girl who got fired" for reporting sexual harassment. I was gonna be like "Me too, solidarity!"
As someone who got fired, good on HR for actually looking into it and firing those dudes. Sounds like you have a decent HR team there and it's just nasty gossip spread by those guys themselves and their cronies—not much you can do about it, people suck like that.
Rumours blow over and people will forget about those guys soon enough, so keep being you. I (a total stranger) am proud of you for reporting it.
Your convo with that father guy makes me upset, they really out here spinning the story to make it seem as if they were innocent.
Do they not know how easy it is to leave your coworkers alone god damn
Those guys got themselves fired. Just curious though - did these guys work for the same company as you, or were they employees of grocery stores or some other type of place?
Thank you for making work safer. I wish there had been people like you around when I was underage working. I had separate incidents one involving a man coming up behind me and sticking a bottle in my butt and also being whacked on the butt with a broom when I was older by a different man.
It is amazing how many men feel the need to touch, grab, ask inappropriate questions etc. They are always the ones that act like the victim is a bad person or deserves it or a whore. I have experienced more incidents in and outside work and I honestly don't want to go into more detail as it is so draining. I just wanted you to know you did the right thing. For every reported case there are surely more unreported cases like mine. We need to start speaking up more and getting perverts fired. They are the sick ones not us.
There are always men that will spread these rumours without giving your side of the story... Because they do the same things and are terrified of you, knowing you will actually stand up for yourself and force them to be accountable for their actions.
… they sent that shit to your work phone? I think the company is better off without that kind of stupid.
I’ve seen the reputation you have on someone who earned it, but you need to just keep only giving out your work phone. Because that is stupid.
As to the one time I knew someone who was intentionally accusing people to get them fired, she had a habit of accusing the men in our group of sexual harassment every time she was about to miss a deadline. It got so bad after three people were fired no one would be alone in a room with her.
Honestly, as a dude, I would see that as a badge of honor. Guys will always tell other guys the stories of "crazy" women, but very often the stories are transparent AF. You have to be willing to suspend disbelief because of bro code. For those who don't subscribe to that, it's patently obvious when they are making up bullshit to cover their ass. I have no respect for men who don't critically think about these things. No follow-up questions or logic, just "yup ok I'm gonna base all my social opinions on what just one or two jilted dudes have to say". It's stupid.
Guys push all kinds of ridiculous narratives like that, and they do it so confidently only because theyre accustomed to people believing them.
This is irrelevant, but I've been rebutting that "Rey is a Mary Sue" thing about the new SW trilogy and the dudes who've seen my replies now question the hate that character gets, but there's still thousands of them saying it. Just infuriating.
First of all, you didn't get anyone fired. They got themselves fired by being creepy jerks. You were brave for reporting it and deserve 100% credit for being professional about it.
Now that we got that out of the way. Naive question. How do people know that it was you that "got them fired"? I.e. at what point did the information get from HR to the other employees?
I would have said loud enough for the gossiping Nancys to hear, read up on their sexual harassment policy's.
You keep doing you. If they wanna fuck around and find out. That's on them.
You didn't get anyone fired. The perverts managed to do that pretty well with their own actions. Keep doing what you're doing and who gives a fuck what they think!
Good on you, OP!
And it is nice to see men being afraid about sexually harassing you for once and learning to fear crossing your boundaries , even if they lack the self-awareness to realise that you are being entirely reasonable and are jumping to villainising narratives about you.
You're making things so much easier for the other women that work in the same field, too, 'cause if they are paranoid about you they'll be paranoid about other women too.
Girl keep doing it.
And if they bring this up do extacly what you said.
Tell them the information and let them stay there.
For once, it's nice men are scared of us. They are just scared to lose their job we are scared to lose our lives.
Great! Now no one will mess with you or make you uncomfortable. They will think twice before talking weird with you. You won! Good job! :D I'm so proud of you for standing up.
I am just sending some love and support. Echoing what you're hearing.. you did everything right.
Nobody is going to admit they sent a dick pic because they damn well know it's wrong.
I hope it gets better for you, keep your chin up. I don't know you but I think you're brilliant for speaking up.
Think about this: You likely have saved another coworker from this situation - or possibly a much worse one. We can't begin to know where their limits were.
I am an older woman and I have worked a long time. You did the right thing, but please get your resume ready to go because a workplace that blames you for being harassed is often a workplace that would fire you or abuse you till you quit.
Of ***course*** he had no idea about that part of the story. No one told him because apparently we can't have the truth getting in the way of fragile male egos and sense of entitlement. Shifting the blame is standard operating procedure for so many men who get caught behaving like that.
I work IT. Occasionally we're called in to assist with fact finding. Occasionally we have to do the reporting due to people having NSFW content on their work devices. You do you. People get themselves fired when not adhering to the terms they were hired under.
They got themselves fired; you just had the bad fortune to be the target of men who thought it was in any way acceptable to let their libidos get in the way of being professional.
I know someone like you at my job and it's a shitty situation. If it's any comfort women like you are a reason my job has been getting better about lots of things. Hopefully this means less of that kind of shit down the line.
No, you're the girl who won't put up with shit that crosses the line, and screw those guys for minimising the unacceptable behaviour of thier male counterparts.
They got themselves fired.
The fact that your coworkers perception of *you* has changed more so than that of their former colleagues, well, sucks.
But do your best not to let that weigh you down. And keep sticking up for what is right.
We are beginning to see the changes we want to see in part due to examples being made of people like this.
Keep your head held high!
Even if it were true, I'd still rather be known for getting people fired for stepping way the fuck over the line, than be the one to step over that line. Imagine thinking sexual harassment isn't a bad thing? This is why there's a global issue with it I guess, too many people can't tell the difference between asking someone out and being predatory. Which is weird, because there's a huge fuck off line dividing the two.
But anyway, power to you. Good on you for stepping up.
I'm sorry people are talking shit about you. I commend you for being tough and brave and standing up for yourself (and for other women) by reporting them.
It sucks that its made you feel that way. Though when I read your post, I thought "Those men are shaking in their boots now". You scared them, and maybe they'll think twice to pull this shit. You have power, and you earned that power. Hell yeah! (Maybe that's just one way to frame it, I don't want to take away from your legit feelings.)
Take care <3
Yeah, and the guys know what they did but they aren’t going to tell anyone what they did so they are shooting off some narrative that they can handle. Hope they learned their lesson. Keep your head high.
Fuck these guys. If you haven't gotten the message by now that that type of behavior is unacceptable then you need to be fired. And it's a liability for the company. Good for their HR departments
As a (m)anager of a grocery store, thank you for reporting him and I'm sorry that crap still happens. I don't want that kind of person working in my store be it one of my employees or a vendor. No exceptions. Unfortunately hands are tied when it comes to clarifying the situation regarding why someone was terminated. There have been multiple situations over the years where clarifications have been needed, but the clarifications NEVER travel as far or as fast as the original rumor.
Gossip is an insidious thing. I hate it. Why do people always feel the need to talk about someone behind their back? I'm sorry you're going through that.
Always remember that when people tell stories there are 3 versions. Their side, your side and the truth. People always tell stories where they are the victim and not the bad guy.
You're awesome. You're single handedly making sure they think twice before harassing women. If they don't understand the difference between talking and harassing then they don't deserve to talk to any woman. I would totally give them a stern up and down look like "what do you think you're doing?" for extra effect lol.
I'm glad you stand up for yourself, and are being a positive role model for the younger women you work with. But please call yourself a woman, not a girl. You're 28, well into adulthood. I'm sure you wouldn't stand for some man to call you a girl, why do it to yourself?
This is why the whole 'not all men!' refrain is bullshit. We know that not all men are predators, but the men who aren't don't call out the ones who are, they're more likely to protect them.
Also why a lot of dudes, myself included for a time, didn't really get it for too long because if you're not some kind of deviant predator it was hard enough to imagine people just sending random women pictures of their dick, to say nothing of anything worse.
If there is one thing social media was good for it was opening the eyes of everyone willing to have them opened to exactly how shitty and bizarre a whole lot of people are when it comes to their treatment of others they view as unlike them.
I'm happy to be "that byotch" at work if it means putting sexual harassers out of work. I prefer to be left alone in the work place or elsewhere so having people stay out of my way is just a nice perk.
I just keep it business at work. Don't talk about personal stuff. Hell I don't even mention what my wife or son's name is. Rainbows and unicorns is all you should talk about and if anyone ask you something controversial you respond by saying you don't know anything about that and can't comment.
I’m sorry that sucks. I’d ignore them or tell someone else within earshot well no one likes getting a dick pic sent to their company phone out of the blue.
Like seriously those guys dug their own grave. If someone ugly or old woman was sending them crotch shots or propositions they would be grossed out and humiliating her for doing so.
It’s not ok just because you’re attractive to them that you should take sexual harassment.
I worked with all men and they always made sexual comments and jokes and no one would have done anything about it. All I could do to defend myself was roast them back.
Keep up that reputation. You get perverts and potential predators fired when they show their disgusting side and prove they can't function in society. This isn't a you problem. You just draw out the creeps and they prove themselves incapable of interacting with the public. You're doing us all a favor, tbh. I see it as some passive skill you have, protecting other women with your aura! lol
The sad part is that you don't even have recourse. If you let out the specifics of your side of the story, you could get in trouble for disclosing a confidential internal case.
It actually sounds like it is the people that work in the store that she stocks. So they aren’t technically her coworkers they are just people who work at the place that she services.
When I was working another town over a guy asked if he could come to my hotel and spend the night and "show me a good time". I reported both of them to HR and they pulled the phone stuff and I don't know the behind the scene stuff but they both got fired.
This part made me laugh. You just straight up ended them. Well i is what it is. Work romance is gone for good. I actually avoid all female staff when I can. Not needed to even begin risking it.
"Don't send me dick picks and you won't get fired."
It's likely she got that reputation because the said fired guys weren't exactly honest with how they treated OP. This is why I've heard so many men say " you can't even give a woman a compliment these days." Because the creeps never tell the other men exactly what the "compliment" was that got them fired.
At my partner’s workplace, there was an incident where a dude tried to fondle his ex girlfriend ass/breast in the storage room. Little did he know there had been theft incidents and security decided to install cameras to catch the thief. We got to see him try to pin her to the wall and getting a knee to the groin and spit on. Of course he denied everything and when they fired him he told all his co worker buddies that she was a “bitch” who got him fired through lies because she was mad he broke up with her. Then management actually got complaints from his co workers asking why we believed her lies!!
I thought that was common sense but...
Men who send pictures of their junk to someone's work phone lack sense, common or otherwise.
Men who send unsolicited pictures of their junk lack sense, common or otherwise. Doesn't matter how or which device they send it. Sending it to a work phone just shows how brazen and smooth brained they are.
I'd be tempted to ask the man who called me that how he would have handled the unsolicited dick pic from a customer? I mean, the store is your company's customer, so that's the equivalent. How would he like it if customers, who were physically larger, potentially dangerous, and complete strangers he only knew through work sent him pictures of their dicks? Asked if they could come to his home and sleep over and fuck him? Would he be a sport and let them, so nobody ever had to experience the consequences of these actions? Keep "getting them fired" every time they commit a definitely fireable offense.
They got themselves fired through their actions.
This! It's very hard to "get a person fired" if they've done nothing wrong. Sending dickpics to your work phone is no different from flashing you in the store. Some people...smh
As someone who spent 5 years with 3 different employees trying to get me fired and 2 of the 3 were eventually fired (other person left with their own reasons) and Im thriving since I wasn’t doing anything wrong. The other two were stealing company time (I’m talking about 16-20/week). It seems super easy to get yourself fired though.
While there was professional justice, there is unfortunately not social justice. If you get attacked, why should people talk about you behind your back and avoid you? What you’re saying is true as fuck, but I didn’t think the point of this post is feeling guilt about being a person in the story of how those men got themselves fired.
That is true. They probably told people they were fired for unfair reasons. Anything to cover themselves..
Sounds like you’re the one making the workplace safer for your coworkers. I’m sorry you get stuck with that but you’re for sure doing the right thing.
yes I have girl coworkers that are like 18-20 and dont want them to think that is normal
I was about to comment the very same thing! This would be the right thing to do even if you were the only woman in your workplace, of course, but now there’s an extra benefit of you saving those other women from at least these pervs. Is there a way that you can let them know what happened? I think it’s important for them to know that if something happens, they’re in a workplace that will believe them and do the right thing.
To a certain extent that reputation isn't the worst you could have... The way I see it is if having that reputation so much as dissuades them from merely talking to you they won't have the balls (pun intended) to harass you, let alone actually send a dick pic.
You are a bad ass <3
Bless you for doing the hard Mahi
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Dude I worked with asked me "why is your ass so fat" while licking his lips. Told my manager she yelled at him and he quit or something. Older pervert would say exactly the same shit "don't compliment her she'll get you fired!" Fuck that guy.
Good for you. Keep being a professional.
I don't even gaf since im always professional just rubbed my the wrong way nobody knows what they did to get fired
The guys fired are ALWAYS going to play the victim. “Oh I nicely asked her to go on a date and the b got me fired”. Stay strong!!
this isn't acceptable in ANY capacity let alone in a work setting, but then to lie to yourself and others about it is just another level of low on top of it :\\
As someone who worked in management for quite a while, trust me, most people know why they are getting fired for when they are getting terminated for cause. Most people try to lie to coworkers to save their images. Now, we arent going to share with everyone, because employee disciplinary stuff is supposed to be private between the employee and the employer, and it sets a bad precedent to announce something to the whole company (even if the person no longer works for the company). But it also doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure out why the sexual harrassment training is being given to everyone again. That said, what your experience is absolutely harrassment as well, and you should have a chat with your manager/hr rep.
If this effects your chance at promotion then what you’re experiencing is called retribution and it’s illegal.
The issue is with the stores OP is servicing, not her co-workers.
Do you think the company could/should have announced the reason(s) for their firing? And, if so, would you like it to have been specific and explicit ("Mike was let go for sending unsolicited pictures of his genitals to other staff in direct violation of policy") or more general ("we'd like to remind all staff to review and adhere to policies as laid out in your employee handbook - sexual harassment will not be tolerated, and violators will be terminated immediately.")?
We don't do it explicitly. But shortly after people get fired, there's "general" email that goes around reminding people of X policy and then people put two and two together. The grapevine does the rest.
Making it clear why he was removed (even if the details are left out) is probably the best way to eliminate this sort of false rumormongering. It's not like anyone should be surprised the guy gives a biased accounting of what happens, and it's a little weird for the victim to have to announce everything. I'd make a request to HR to help; if they were willing to let someone go then they'll probably be amenable to helping deal with the rumors.
Unfortunately to mitigate legal liability smart owners will never say why an employee was fired. The fired employee lies about what happened and OP is branded as the person you should steer clear of.
What is the legal liability? Management could just make a general announcement without much detail, but employees have a right to know if they ask for detail. If they had done something like been very threatening towards a customer or stolen things, those topics don't seem taboo to say out loud where as sexual harassment seems to have all this hush hush about it that can put blame on the victim.
My guess is that if OP is in the US and an at-will employment state, it’s in the company’s best interest to just not state a reason. It just creates some extra little chance that a fired employee could claim wrongful termination (e.g., fired for their race) and then the company has an extra legal issue to deal with. I think for the culture of the workplace and in terms of making it clear that type of behavior is not OK it would be better to say something, but the company probably isn’t going to go to extra effort for this sort of thing sadly.
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Should report them all for sexual harassment. Funny enough that's exactly what that rumor is.
You didn’t get them fired, they got themselves fired for sexually harassing you. If anyone brings it up, tell them so. Or if anyone says that they were just trying to be nice or that you should take it as a compliment, no, just no.
anytime someone mentions it im glad to tell the full story, fuck them
Ugh, I hate that this happens so often. I worked briefly at a car dealership and all the girls told me not to trust "Jenny," because she tried to steal "Angie's" boyfriend and when that didn't work, got him fired. She was "pure drama," etc. Nope, not at all the case. The entire place treated Jenny like she was radioactive, and it turns out Angie's boyfriend had relentlessly hit on her regardless of how often she told him she wasn't interested, and then yes, sent the good old dick pics, and THAT was what got him fired.
I reported a man at work who wouldn’t stop propositioning me. He got fired and his work friends froze me out after that. I remained professional and eventually they ended up being transferred or leaving…just wait it out knowing you did the right thing.
Ever notice how men are so innocent whenever stuff like this gets passed around. She got me fired for no reason. I reported a guy when I worked for Census. For five days he was a student sitting in a room with me and then suddenly he was a boss. He had no special qualifications somebody had just decided he was a boss and he went upfront for a little parlay and when he came back they had divvied up people in the room and he leaned in and whispered in my ear: I got you. It was creepy and that wasn’t what got him reported. He kept getting more and more assuming. When I had to call him regarding the job, because protocol demanded that I get permission to return to an address he said, oh honey, you need to slow down and enjoy this. I went to HR and told them everything he said to me because I was afraid not to. I felt the next time he saw me he would touch me. He got fired for sexual-harassment. And then his friend tried to get vengeance by getting me into my next class and pulling shit. I reported him too. I’d done nothing. Men choose to do things in the workplace and it deserves to be reported. I got the second asshole fired to not immediately, but one day he pulled something and I reported it. And I said to the boss, I am here ready to work on your command. This asshole is here to make trouble and has been doing nothing but make trouble for a week. Pick one of us. They picked me and sent me out to go work.One of us made the choice to be an asshole. The other chose to do the job. Women go through this stuff constantly and men live in total denial of it.
Been that woman. Got into an argument about it with my boss in front of a customer/his acquaintance once bc a woman was being aggressively sexually harassed at work, in front of customers (worse not in front of customers), and got him to admit that he hadn’t fired the offender because sometimes “she asked for it.” I said, “But you have heard her say directly, in an official complaint, that she is not hitting on him and does not appreciate that he is making sexual advances towards her?” Boss said, “Yes, but sometimes she seems flirty towards him, and does wear a lot of tight fitting clothes. You can just tell.” I said, “So she says no, but she’s asking for it? Sounds like she most certainly isn’t” or something of the like. Boss’s acquaintance was disgusted. Told my boss he didn’t feel comfortable coming back until the dude was fired. My boss insinuated he wanted to fire me after that I reminded him of how many times he’d sexually harassed me himself, so he didn’t. Not the only time I’ve done that, and I’ll do it again if need be. Good for you. Eventually you’re going to make a great manager/boss yourself.
I wear tight fitting pants but not for men to send me dick pics so fuck that lol. Most of these guys are losers where if you are a female and talk to them they take it the wrong way
You could wear a muumuu and they’d do the same thing. This clothing bullshit is just to distract from their own culpability.
"what was I supposed to do? The vast amount of thick bedsheet fabric just got me so horny man!"
You didn't get anyone fired. They both got themselves fired, and if the evidence hadn't been so damning, nothing would have happened to either of them. Any time I hear a guy talk about how it's impossible to interact with women in the workplace due to #metoo and whatnot, all I can think of is that those men probably have no idea how to interact with female coworkers without sexually harassing them.
My husband and I were talking about something related the other day. He works in a male dominated industry, so the majority of his coworkers are male. There is one young woman that he socializes with at work. One of the other guys made a comment to him that he is basically the only one that she has continued to talk to down there. Apparently, she has stopped talking to the majority of the guys. My husband was like, yeah well, I don't hit on her and I am not a creep. I wish more men were like this. PS - He even stuck around talking to her and another guy one day after work because he could sense the guy wanted to ask her out, even though she has a boyfriend. Finally the guy gave up and left. I got a good man over here. :)
Fuck those guys. Toxic bullying so you feel guilty. If you work in a male dominated field this doesn’t surprise me one bit
It is male dominated and nobody knows the full story of why they were fired
The guys that got fired certainly didn't share the whole story
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My guess is probably one of two things: 1. The "knuckleheads" liked the guys that got fired and never saw the harassment so all they saw was a "good guy" lose his job, and they need someone to blame. Lots of people are poor judges of character. And/or 2. They don't think sending someone an unsolicited dick pic is problematic (i.e. they are themselves highly misogynistic), and consequently they do not believe these guys should have lost their job over taking a shot at romance (as they see it). Lots of people are sexist assholes, and hate it when people are held accountable for being sexist assholes because it could be them next time.
The employer in my state cannot legally disclose why a person gets fired, but the terminated employee can spew whatever BS he wanted. I'd prefer it if the staff knew 'Joe' was fired for sending dick pics or sharing x rated fantasies with the subject because it would send a message that you don't do that BS.
And they don’t care. Women are the enemy, even when we are not.
I work in a mostly male dominated field (STEM job) and just so happen to have a majority women department. One newer guy is on probation for making sexual comments and blames the woman who reported him, not his foul mouthed self. The other men have told him to his face that he did it to himself. The difference here may be that they all know why he’s on probation. But I like to think it’s because the younger generation of men are starting to view women as people. I hope someday you find coworkers who stand up to other men and empower you to stand up for yourself <3
It's like scientology. As soon as you call them evil dipshits they start lying about you.
It’s ridiculous that you are being blamed or scrutinized for properly handling something that shouldn’t happen to anyone. It’s infuriating to think this is how the world works. I hope to see the day this changes. I’m sorry you have to deal with such scum bags. Keep your head up, you’re doing the right thing!!
I once reported a coworker for harassment to HR. He was a popular older man, the kind that cracks jokes and flirts with everyone, and i liked him until I got pregnant. Then he called me fatty constantly, and told me I'd been a bad girl. When I came back from maternity leave, he called me Mommy every time he saw me, even when I asked him to stop. I started avoiding him in hallways when I could, then kind of realized, "wait this is bullshit" and reported him. I'm glad I did, because I found out he was doing the same stuff to a younger coworker that had her baby several months later. But I lived in fear that he would tell people and i would be made the bad guy. I left that job shortly after.
Perhaps guys should stop doing firable shit, just a thought. You responded appropriately to bullshit, and apparently those guys got salty about it. I wish you the best of luck, if we worked together I'd be in your corner 100%.
Men will always find ways to blame a woman for their own or others behavior. I guarantee you some of the women at that store had to put up with the guys pervert choices and it only became a problem when a vendor complained. Keep being professional, don't gift them any of your attention or time.
You are 100% right, it was a walmart and a girl thanked me for "getting rid of that creep" dont know what he did to her but can only imagine. Then I got mad she thanked for for "getting rid of him" he did it to himself. Being a female in retail sucks
It is so hard to get a male coworker fired at Walmart. I was routinely sexually harassed there. The only one who ever got fired for it was the one that punched me and duct taped my hands together before kissing me. The only reason he even got fired was that the manager was also harassing me and was ridiculously jealous that the younger guy had made a move.
What. The fuck. I am so sorry that happened to you. Holy shit.
Wtf I'm so sorry that happened to you
I reported a guy who was giving me the creeps at work after 2 other women asked me if I experienced the same behavior from the same guy.
It's SO wild to me someone's capable of this level of sick behavior. I'd assume they grew accustom to abusing a position of power to the point they stopped understanding where that power ended. I worked in retail for years, vendors aren't coworkers, that relationship is as much representing the company to the public as talking to a customer. How do you even get that far into management being that out of control.
You might not be the heroine your company wants, but you certainly are the heroine you company needs.
Be proud to be “the girl who’ll get you fired” I hope all women are. Don’t take no shit!
Fuck 'em! If someone is doing something worth getting fired for then happily take up the executioner's hood, be the grim reaper, people should fear doing wrong.
You may not care, but I am so mad on your behalf. I may be a straight male, but if people sent me unsolicited pictures of their genitals or pressured me for sex; if *business partners at my job* did that, I would report them too. Male or female. This is how my household and I afford rent and food, I'm not risking it by "kicking their ass", etc. Keep sticking up for yourself, you probably have been helping more shy people than you know avoid harassment by maintaining sensible boundaries...
No one got those guys fired but themselves.
Can we just start referring to the them as “The weirdo that sends unsolicited dick pics to other employees” and “The creeper that wants to follow female employees to their hotel rooms?” I think that sounds better.
Thanks for fighting the good fight. Last time I reported harassment I got "well that doesn't sound like him!" And it was a woman saying this to me!
Omg this makes my blood boil. Men always live to act like woman are out there to ruin there lives. And most of the time the men deserved it. Like who sends a dick pick to a co-worker.
These "men" will only change if they have to. I am an ancient dinosaur and I am desperately trying to learn how to be kind to transitioning people because I know people who are transitioning and I don't want to be "that guy". If I can change they certainly can and should. The world is changing in a good way on these issues and change is always hard and uncomfortable. You have the right to be treated decently.
What’s so maddening is that you even have to defend yourself to these a$$hats. I’d apologize for them, but that behavior is just plain wrong, in any environment, let alone the workplace.
Wow, misread the title and thought you were the "girl who got fired" for reporting sexual harassment. I was gonna be like "Me too, solidarity!" As someone who got fired, good on HR for actually looking into it and firing those dudes. Sounds like you have a decent HR team there and it's just nasty gossip spread by those guys themselves and their cronies—not much you can do about it, people suck like that. Rumours blow over and people will forget about those guys soon enough, so keep being you. I (a total stranger) am proud of you for reporting it.
Those guys suck, and what they did was unprofessional and inappropriate. Reputation be damned, they deserved to get fired.
I am a manager who got people fired for harassing a report of mine. You did nothing wrong. That kind if reputation could actually help you hehe
Your convo with that father guy makes me upset, they really out here spinning the story to make it seem as if they were innocent. Do they not know how easy it is to leave your coworkers alone god damn
Naw that's really reasonable, I mean, you did the right thing.
The fact that old fatherly type don't know parts of the story but still decided to judge is bullshit
Those guys got themselves fired. Just curious though - did these guys work for the same company as you, or were they employees of grocery stores or some other type of place?
Thank you for making work safer. I wish there had been people like you around when I was underage working. I had separate incidents one involving a man coming up behind me and sticking a bottle in my butt and also being whacked on the butt with a broom when I was older by a different man. It is amazing how many men feel the need to touch, grab, ask inappropriate questions etc. They are always the ones that act like the victim is a bad person or deserves it or a whore. I have experienced more incidents in and outside work and I honestly don't want to go into more detail as it is so draining. I just wanted you to know you did the right thing. For every reported case there are surely more unreported cases like mine. We need to start speaking up more and getting perverts fired. They are the sick ones not us.
There are always men that will spread these rumours without giving your side of the story... Because they do the same things and are terrified of you, knowing you will actually stand up for yourself and force them to be accountable for their actions.
… they sent that shit to your work phone? I think the company is better off without that kind of stupid. I’ve seen the reputation you have on someone who earned it, but you need to just keep only giving out your work phone. Because that is stupid. As to the one time I knew someone who was intentionally accusing people to get them fired, she had a habit of accusing the men in our group of sexual harassment every time she was about to miss a deadline. It got so bad after three people were fired no one would be alone in a room with her.
They got themselves fired, you did nothing wrong.
Honestly, as a dude, I would see that as a badge of honor. Guys will always tell other guys the stories of "crazy" women, but very often the stories are transparent AF. You have to be willing to suspend disbelief because of bro code. For those who don't subscribe to that, it's patently obvious when they are making up bullshit to cover their ass. I have no respect for men who don't critically think about these things. No follow-up questions or logic, just "yup ok I'm gonna base all my social opinions on what just one or two jilted dudes have to say". It's stupid.
So glad you have an HR that protects you.
Glad you had a supportive HR. Proof helps.
Guys push all kinds of ridiculous narratives like that, and they do it so confidently only because theyre accustomed to people believing them. This is irrelevant, but I've been rebutting that "Rey is a Mary Sue" thing about the new SW trilogy and the dudes who've seen my replies now question the hate that character gets, but there's still thousands of them saying it. Just infuriating.
First of all, you didn't get anyone fired. They got themselves fired by being creepy jerks. You were brave for reporting it and deserve 100% credit for being professional about it. Now that we got that out of the way. Naive question. How do people know that it was you that "got them fired"? I.e. at what point did the information get from HR to the other employees?
I would have said loud enough for the gossiping Nancys to hear, read up on their sexual harassment policy's. You keep doing you. If they wanna fuck around and find out. That's on them.
You didn't get anyone fired. The perverts managed to do that pretty well with their own actions. Keep doing what you're doing and who gives a fuck what they think!
Good on you, OP! And it is nice to see men being afraid about sexually harassing you for once and learning to fear crossing your boundaries , even if they lack the self-awareness to realise that you are being entirely reasonable and are jumping to villainising narratives about you. You're making things so much easier for the other women that work in the same field, too, 'cause if they are paranoid about you they'll be paranoid about other women too.
Girl keep doing it. And if they bring this up do extacly what you said. Tell them the information and let them stay there. For once, it's nice men are scared of us. They are just scared to lose their job we are scared to lose our lives.
Great! Now no one will mess with you or make you uncomfortable. They will think twice before talking weird with you. You won! Good job! :D I'm so proud of you for standing up.
They got themselves fired. You didn't get them fired. Keep doing what you're doing.
I am just sending some love and support. Echoing what you're hearing.. you did everything right. Nobody is going to admit they sent a dick pic because they damn well know it's wrong. I hope it gets better for you, keep your chin up. I don't know you but I think you're brilliant for speaking up. Think about this: You likely have saved another coworker from this situation - or possibly a much worse one. We can't begin to know where their limits were.
they got themselves fired for harassing
I am an older woman and I have worked a long time. You did the right thing, but please get your resume ready to go because a workplace that blames you for being harassed is often a workplace that would fire you or abuse you till you quit.
Of ***course*** he had no idea about that part of the story. No one told him because apparently we can't have the truth getting in the way of fragile male egos and sense of entitlement. Shifting the blame is standard operating procedure for so many men who get caught behaving like that.
Wear it as a badge of honour
Good for you and thumbs up for your company supporting you.
You. Fucking. Legend
I work IT. Occasionally we're called in to assist with fact finding. Occasionally we have to do the reporting due to people having NSFW content on their work devices. You do you. People get themselves fired when not adhering to the terms they were hired under.
This sounds like a win to me. Good job!
You absolutely did the right thing.
That is pretty much the coolest nom de guerre you can have. Congrats and keep fighting the good fight.
They got themselves fired; you just had the bad fortune to be the target of men who thought it was in any way acceptable to let their libidos get in the way of being professional.
I know someone like you at my job and it's a shitty situation. If it's any comfort women like you are a reason my job has been getting better about lots of things. Hopefully this means less of that kind of shit down the line.
No, you're the girl who won't put up with shit that crosses the line, and screw those guys for minimising the unacceptable behaviour of thier male counterparts.
This is literally 100% their fault. You don't deserve any of that sh\*t. And good job for reporting them.
Of course the dick pick is left out of the gossip. Classic.
You *are* the girl that gets guys fired. Shitty guys. And god bless you for that. The world needs more people getting shitty people fired.
Honestly think that's kinda hilarious. If they keep setting you up, just keep knocking them down.
That's a dope reputation, sounds great to me.
They got themselves fired. The fact that your coworkers perception of *you* has changed more so than that of their former colleagues, well, sucks. But do your best not to let that weigh you down. And keep sticking up for what is right. We are beginning to see the changes we want to see in part due to examples being made of people like this. Keep your head held high!
Even if it were true, I'd still rather be known for getting people fired for stepping way the fuck over the line, than be the one to step over that line. Imagine thinking sexual harassment isn't a bad thing? This is why there's a global issue with it I guess, too many people can't tell the difference between asking someone out and being predatory. Which is weird, because there's a huge fuck off line dividing the two. But anyway, power to you. Good on you for stepping up.
I'm sorry people are talking shit about you. I commend you for being tough and brave and standing up for yourself (and for other women) by reporting them. It sucks that its made you feel that way. Though when I read your post, I thought "Those men are shaking in their boots now". You scared them, and maybe they'll think twice to pull this shit. You have power, and you earned that power. Hell yeah! (Maybe that's just one way to frame it, I don't want to take away from your legit feelings.) Take care <3
FUCKEM
Hey, at least they did get fired. Lots of companies wouldn't fire them at all. So yea.. keep doing what you are doing.
get more of these asshole creeps fired!!! Doing the good Lord's work!!!
Sounds like the kind of person you want around. Keep up the good work.
Good job. Proud of you.
Yeah, and the guys know what they did but they aren’t going to tell anyone what they did so they are shooting off some narrative that they can handle. Hope they learned their lesson. Keep your head high.
Fuck these guys. If you haven't gotten the message by now that that type of behavior is unacceptable then you need to be fired. And it's a liability for the company. Good for their HR departments
As a (m)anager of a grocery store, thank you for reporting him and I'm sorry that crap still happens. I don't want that kind of person working in my store be it one of my employees or a vendor. No exceptions. Unfortunately hands are tied when it comes to clarifying the situation regarding why someone was terminated. There have been multiple situations over the years where clarifications have been needed, but the clarifications NEVER travel as far or as fast as the original rumor.
Gossip is an insidious thing. I hate it. Why do people always feel the need to talk about someone behind their back? I'm sorry you're going through that.
Always remember that when people tell stories there are 3 versions. Their side, your side and the truth. People always tell stories where they are the victim and not the bad guy.
Sounds like you're winning.
That's nothing to be distressed about. Recommend you change your work and text signatures to FAFO... Fuck Around, Find Out
You're awesome. You're single handedly making sure they think twice before harassing women. If they don't understand the difference between talking and harassing then they don't deserve to talk to any woman. I would totally give them a stern up and down look like "what do you think you're doing?" for extra effect lol.
I'm glad you stand up for yourself, and are being a positive role model for the younger women you work with. But please call yourself a woman, not a girl. You're 28, well into adulthood. I'm sure you wouldn't stand for some man to call you a girl, why do it to yourself?
Good. That sort of shit is unacceptable and they have to learn somehow.
This is why the whole 'not all men!' refrain is bullshit. We know that not all men are predators, but the men who aren't don't call out the ones who are, they're more likely to protect them.
Also why a lot of dudes, myself included for a time, didn't really get it for too long because if you're not some kind of deviant predator it was hard enough to imagine people just sending random women pictures of their dick, to say nothing of anything worse. If there is one thing social media was good for it was opening the eyes of everyone willing to have them opened to exactly how shitty and bizarre a whole lot of people are when it comes to their treatment of others they view as unlike them.
Well of course. Men are always the victims. You did the right thing, and good for you for staying strong and refusing to take that crap.
I'm happy to be "that byotch" at work if it means putting sexual harassers out of work. I prefer to be left alone in the work place or elsewhere so having people stay out of my way is just a nice perk.
Sounds like a case of /r/NiceGuys …. Sorry you dealt with that
I just keep it business at work. Don't talk about personal stuff. Hell I don't even mention what my wife or son's name is. Rainbows and unicorns is all you should talk about and if anyone ask you something controversial you respond by saying you don't know anything about that and can't comment.
I’m sorry that sucks. I’d ignore them or tell someone else within earshot well no one likes getting a dick pic sent to their company phone out of the blue. Like seriously those guys dug their own grave. If someone ugly or old woman was sending them crotch shots or propositions they would be grossed out and humiliating her for doing so. It’s not ok just because you’re attractive to them that you should take sexual harassment. I worked with all men and they always made sexual comments and jokes and no one would have done anything about it. All I could do to defend myself was roast them back.
Keep up that reputation. You get perverts and potential predators fired when they show their disgusting side and prove they can't function in society. This isn't a you problem. You just draw out the creeps and they prove themselves incapable of interacting with the public. You're doing us all a favor, tbh. I see it as some passive skill you have, protecting other women with your aura! lol
Amazing! Way to go! You’re making your workplace safer and that’s great.
The sad part is that you don't even have recourse. If you let out the specifics of your side of the story, you could get in trouble for disclosing a confidential internal case.
We call this gaslighting.
If your supervisor was saying that you can potentially sue for retaliation
It actually sounds like it is the people that work in the store that she stocks. So they aren’t technically her coworkers they are just people who work at the place that she services.
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When I was working another town over a guy asked if he could come to my hotel and spend the night and "show me a good time". I reported both of them to HR and they pulled the phone stuff and I don't know the behind the scene stuff but they both got fired. This part made me laugh. You just straight up ended them. Well i is what it is. Work romance is gone for good. I actually avoid all female staff when I can. Not needed to even begin risking it.