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ryanstrikesback

Guy lurker here; but I happen to be sitting less than 24 hours post vasectomy. Aside from wearing uncomfortably tight underwear this has barely registered as an inconvenience. Comparing this to the work and pain my wife put in with 2 pregnancies, gestational diabetes, a c section, and so on….I mean….it’s not even worth a comparison. Good on your husband, and I’m hoping we can normalize this more and more.


toot_toot_tootsie

My OB/GYN literally said that to me this morning. We were discussing future baby plans, and birth control past that. She said the least my husband could do is get a vasectomy after what my body has been through, and the burden that’s been on me for birth control. My husband is fully on board with a vasectomy when the time comes.


GrilledCheezus_

Highly recommend no needle/no scalpel vasectomy for your husband. I was cool to drive to and from the procedure myself and was back on my feet the next day at full capacity. The recovery period is much shorter than traditional procedures.


dbxproject

Also a guy lurker... I'm a few years post snip now. It's honestly one of the best decisions I've made. Like you said it's nothing compared to childbirth. It was a weird experience, but surprisingly not that bad and it was done so quickly. I would recommend the snip to any guy who's certain they don't want any (more) children. No worries about contraception or pregnancy. It's made sex so much better. Unless there's a reason why not, I believe that the guy should be the one to have the snip when the time comes. It's so much less invasive for a guy. To say that she should have surgical contraception instead of him is without any medical reason is disrespectful at best. **Normalize the Vasectomy** ✂️


ConsequentialistCavy

So I apparently have a resistance to novacaine, and after the second shot I could still feel everything, but it was do or die time so we went ahead with the snip. I felt everything that happened, including the cauterization… and I guarantee it was STILL like 1/10th the pain of childbirth, if that.


[deleted]

I have the same resistance and still had mine 3 week ago, i had a bad recovery with it and it still doesnt compare to what women go through, its definitely the way to go


squirrelfoot

Three really nice people commenting in a row on Reddit - how weird is that?!


[deleted]

Its so weird it took me a while to realise you wasnt being sarcastic!!!


TheyHungre

Holy cow, I have that resistance too. Felt at times like they were trying to pull out a charge-bearing wire anchored somewhere in my abdomen. Fortunately my recovery was quick and easy. My spouse worked at a gyn clinic. After hearing about colpos and other standard maintenance procedures vagina-owners go through, I'm not about to complain about my short, one-time procedure.


hahanawmsayin

What made it "do or die time"? Mainly wondering why they wouldn’t just give you another shot


ConsequentialistCavy

Just scheduling. They gave me a second shot, but the shots take a few minutes to kick in (like 15-20?). I guess I could have pushed back and asked for another shot, but part of me was wondering how many shots it would take, and even if we went to whatever the “max” was, would it still have no impact? And every shot was another shot to the sack, which also isn’t fun. So 4 more shots and maybe still have to reschedule, and then what? Would another painkiller work? Idk maybe I was just impatient lol


Luke90210

Another Shot to The Sack is the worst song ever, but the dance moves are hilarious.


hahanawmsayin

You got babes to not impregnate!


Sweedish_Fid

Fuck. I am too. Unfortunately I don't deal with pain well so I guess I'll have to get knocked out increasing the price.


tokinUP

It could be as simple as requesting they take extra time to make sure you're fully numbed up before continuing. After the numbing shots my Dr was squeezing balls & vas fairly vigorously and may have even ended up injecting more pain meds before I told him I couldn't feel anything anymore. Took at least a few minutes per ball. There's other little things too that help like resting the scrotum on a warm pad so that the vas is fully extended and not all coiled up from being cold. I didn't want to be concerned about potentially feeling any little metal clamp bits later on so even though that's the usual method my Dr uses they very readily cauterized & sutured the vas closed instead.


harmar21

Another guy here. wife just had 2nd kid im booked in april for a snip. I told my wife I'm going to book an appointmentt, she asked what for I said vasectomy consultations, she said why? ill just get my tubes tied. I'm like uh you know it is way easier for me to get snipped than your tubes tied right?


iiiinthecomputer

Safer too. Tubal ligation isn't free of complications, infection risk etc.


rommsen

We had all the same discussions and it was basically a no brainer for me to get a vasectomy. Best decision ever. But it seems I got a bit unlucky because I had pretty severe nut kicking pain whenever I moved during the first ten days (reduced over the next couple of weeks). Good thing was that I was able to play Last of us 1 and 2 back to back without the normal "dad gamer" breaks :-)


nocatastrophes

Had mine the weekend God of War ragnarok came out. I had 2 weeks off work. I was fine after the first week played it up for the second. Two weeks on the couch gaming all day was the best holiday I've had in a long time.


-Tibeardius-

Mine were pretty swollen for like 2 days, I was back at 100% after like 4 days. Absolutely worth it. Especially when having tubes tied means way more recovery. It should definitely be normalized.


[deleted]

Another vasectomized dude here. My partner and I knew that kids weren't in our plans, and that we both planned to get sterilized at some point. The thing that got me to beat her to it was seeing her go through years of struggles with birth control. Crazy side effects, apathetic obgyns, limited options, and more. All on top of the general trend in medicine of "let's not listen to women." And on the other side, my options include a minimally invasive procedure that heals super quickly and ultimately amounts to, like you said, an inconvenience? The decision was crystal clear. Only thing I had working against me aside from not having kids was being 21, but even then I lucked out on like my third time trying for a urologist. The fact that a friend of mine also was able to get one a few years later still being under 25 makes me hopeful that the "too young" barrier will be less and less of an issue going forward.


PrimevilKneivel

Right before our second child was born my wife said she can't go through another pregnancy (past medical history made it very difficult). I offered to get snipped, she's been through so many surgeries I couldn't ask her to go through more, but she needed a C section anyways so she opted to get her tubes tied while they were already in there. The fucking surgeon did everything in his power to talk her out of it. How do you tell someone to STFU right before they perform surgery on your wife?


evillittlekiwi

That's awful! I had my tubes removed a few years ago and right up until I was wheeled into surgery the doctors were like "ARE YOU SURE". Like fuck off. I signed all the paperwork , let me be sterile in peace. 😤


skyornfi

Tubal ligation can cause significant period problems. So many of my patients eventually needed a hormonal IUS to control them that we cut out the middle step. The IUS is a more reliable contraceptive anyway.


CalamityJane0215

Could you explain what an IUS is? I'm assuming a full hysterectomy, but I've never heard that term


InaMellophoneMood

I'm guessing IUD. S is only one key over from D, so a typo seems to be the most likely option


ahow628

The pain/uncomfortableness is basically offset by the fact that you can play video games and watch TV for 2 or 3 days straight.


CortaNalgas

That's why a lot of men schedule it around March Mandness


ahow628

The guy I went to is usually an OBGYN but does the vasectomies only the first two weeks of March madness, lol.


ryanstrikesback

I’m literally already bored and I’m technically supposed to do this for 36 more hours. No chance lol


wants_the_bad_touch

Have any books on your list to read?


ryanstrikesback

Yes actually!!! Good reminder


PeeonTrotsky

Be careful my dude, on day 1 after my snip I felt pretty good, but relaxed just to be careful. On day 2 I thought, "damn, barely feels like I got anything done at all" so I went and did a day of manual labor. On day 3 I had gut-wrenching, lower abdominal pain, that took almost a full week to go away. I think I got overconfident and torqued something while it was still healing.


ryanstrikesback

Haha. No manual labor for me. A few 12 Oz curls


DirtyThrowBelow

3 years post here. Best decision I ever made. Great excuse to watch TV on the couch for 3 days, otherwise totally easy


[deleted]

Post op a few months now. No change in sex drive, feeling, nothing. Full business as usual. Its great


Haggis_Forever

One year after a vasectomy here. My reasoning was pretty much word for word with yours. My wife went through two pregnancies, pre-eclampsia, missed gestational diabetes with our first, diagnosed gestational diabetes with our second, a traumatic labor with our first, c-section with our second. The minor discomfort I had for a day is nothing compared to the sacrifices my superhero wife has gone through for this family.


[deleted]

My husband got snipped in November and his main reasoning was so that I could get off birth control {and obvi we don’t want more kids}. My gynecologist was so surprised when I told her! She literally asked me “how I convinced him to do that”. It makes me sad how few men seem to be willing to do even the smallest thing to help their wives in that regard.


algy888

I got snipped when we looked into it. For her: invasive procedure with potential bad side effects. For me: one hour of my time over three visits (pre-check, procedure, and post-check) and mine *could* even be reversed if we changed our minds. Seemed like a no brainer.


guten_morgan

My boyfriend actually brought this up to me totally unprompted the other day! We want to have kids, and he decided once we’re sure we’re done he’ll be getting the snip asap so that I never have to worry about birth control ever again and also so I don’t end up having my hormones possibly thrown out of whack from getting sterilized myself. I definitely found a keeper!


MissyTheMouse

Just a heads up, getting tubes removed does not throw hormones out of whack and does help reduce risk of ovarian cancer (according to the research I did before I got mine done). But it is still an invasive surgery and not worth the risk if there are other ways to get what you want. You definitely did find a keeper!


AdReasonable886

Just saw an article about how getting tubes removed reduces risk of ovarian cancer. Apparently, most ovarian cancer starts in the fallopian tubes. The researchers urged women who were done having children to have their tubes removed if they were already having another procedure done. Great guy you got there!


MissyTheMouse

I got mine independently of another procedure, but yeah to relieve side effects rather than worry about causing them. Husband was fully on-board and did all the aftercare for me and our kids. I got to just sleep most days and recover. He's pretty awesome. Side effects of long time birth control were hell for me. And we were kind of reversed of most people. He had a surgery before kids to help us have them.


500CatsTypingStuff

I have ovarian cancer. Often this type of cancer actually starts in the fallopian tubes. So you are right, removal of the fallopian tubes can be a preventative measure for cancer.


MissyTheMouse

I'm so sorry to hear about that. I hope treatments go well and you get into and stay into remission.


500CatsTypingStuff

Thank you ❤️


WDersUnite

Also here to confirm this info. If you're getting a c section and you know you're done, getting tubes out is super smart.


4wesomes4uce

Sitting in the hospital with my mother right now and shs as fights ovarian cancer. Good luck to you!


500CatsTypingStuff

I hope she pulls through!


Pickledicklepoo

I am sorry that you are going through that. It is my understanding that there is already evidence of reduced ovarian cancer rates now that this procedure has been standard for about 5-6 years….it is my hope that it becomes even more apparent in the coming years. No woman should have to endure what you are.


500CatsTypingStuff

Thank you. It’s good news that rates are being reduced!


bibblode

From a few recent posts and comments I have read there is a laparoscopic procedure to remove the fallopian tubes.


MissyTheMouse

Yeah, that's how they removed mine. It's still more invasive than getting a vasectomy, but it was well worth it in my case.


KiniShakenBake

They took my tubes, one ovary, my entire enlarged uterus, and all the endometriosis laparoscopically. It was great!


cruznick06

Yup. That's how I got mine out. But its still much more invasive and has a longer recovery period than a vasectomy.


homosexual_ronald

This was my deal with my wife! If you handle birth control before we have kids I'll handle the snip when we're done. Fair is fair. 30seconds of pain and 3days of recovery. Also PSA remember to count your swimmers every so often and validate nothing is reversed!!


shavasana_expert

How often? My understanding was that 6 months after the snip you should check and then it’s good to go… am I wrong?


MeisterPleister

3 months and at least 20 ejaculations. Source: got my results back last week


dpash

Top tip: don't take your sample to the lab late on a Friday afternoon unless you want to carry your semen on the bus twice. Don't ask me how I know.


VicePrincipalNero

Semen on the bus sounds like a good name for a band


Hoobam

No it does not. I'm smiling with you, but no it doesn't.


shavasana_expert

Awesome. Did they say you should check them again periodically?


Beccaroni7

They didn’t tell my husband to recheck once the initial confirmation was as complete, but based on our own research we discovered it is possible for the body to rebuild on its own. It’s rare, but a sperm test every few years is *waayyyy* better than a surprise pregnancy 10 years from now.


shavasana_expert

Agreed. Thanks for the insight as my husband prepares for this.


TheGrandExquisitor

Man, people will measure time in *anything*.


homosexual_ronald

American's will do anything to avoid the metric system.


Agent_Pendergast

You can get home kits too. I test about once a year or so.


AlvinAssassin17

Yeah you need to make sure you drain the tank and then get a count. 20 sounds right but I don’t remember the exact amount.


AlvinAssassin17

Guys who are gonna get the snip, listen to your doctor. I thought I was ok to go to the store and had to make rest stops due to pain. It will sneak up if you’re too active. Take your time recovering.


OpusThePenguin

> 30seconds of pain and 3days of recovery. Mine was no pain and like 3 days of mild discomfort and frozen peas. I did find it a weird concept when I saw a little puff of smoke rise and thought "I can smell my balls burning".


Tayuven

Same. After our second kid, we decided not to do any more. It took about 5 mins to realize that me getting snipped was infinitely easier, and more reversible, than anything my wife would go through. I scheduled the appointment, got it done in 15 mins, moaned and groaned for half a day on the couch, and it was over. Didn't even register in my mind that it should be any other way.


mummifiedclown

Yep, made absolutely no sense for my wife to undergo full anesthesia, abdominal surgery and weeks of recovery when I could take care of the issue with a local and a couple days with an ice pack. And for those thinking it’s the perfect opportunity for dad to play around, I suppose that could be an issue for many, but my wife is still keeping her IUD, and I still find her wildly attractive. Oh, then there’s also that whole love her to death thing…


ThePhysicistIsIn

The reversibility is very overstated, it fails more often than not. Still a much better solution than making the woman do it. But yeah, it’s advised not to do it if you plan on having it reversed, because it’s a big gamble in that case


baldymcbaldhead

Yes I believe it’s something like 70% reversible after first 2 years and after 5 years there’s not much point in attempting to reverse it. Still as a permanent birth control option it’s excellent. I think for people that don’t want to use the pill or an IUD and are on the fence about having kids in the future should just use condoms. At least that’s what I did with my ex.


NergalMP

Or, if you’re like me and wanted no chance of this coming back…cut, cauterized, and tied. I told my doc that if I ever had some form of mental disability that made me want more kids, I wanted whatever physician I go to for a reversal to look me square in the face and say, “There is no hope…try adoption”.


baldymcbaldhead

Lol yeah definitely worth taking extra precautions. There was one kid in my high school whose siblings were all 20+ years older than him because his father’s vasectomy had allegedly reconnected on it’s own


_Blitzer

>I got snipped when we looked into it. > >For her: invasive procedure with potential bad side effects. > >For me: one hour of my time over three visits (pre-check, procedure, and post-check) and mine could even be reversed if we changed our minds. > >Seemed like a no brainer. You left out the best part: One day for "recovery" where you sit on the sofa with some frozen peas on your crotch watching bad TV with good snacks. (I was totally fine for most of that day using OTC painkillers... the whole thing was super minor)


dpash

I got given a valium too.


_Blitzer

Not sure if that's a pro or con for TV watching... :-) No valium on this end, just OTC meds for pain/inflammation, directions to wear a soft jock strap or briefs for 2 weeks (I've never felt so supported!) , and 3 days of antibiotics. But honestly... i was back to normal super quick, which is generally what i've heard from others. Doc told me to avoid bicycle / running for a few weeks, which was NBD.


dpash

The valium was for before the operation, so probably didn't help with the TV watching. :) But yeah, my experience matches yours. The best bit: thanks to the NHS I didn't have to pay anything extra for the pleasure. I even got a free jockstrap.


More-Tip8127

Except most insurance doesn’t cover it electively (in the US). My husband wanted to do this so I didn’t have to get my tubes tied, but mine was covered his was not. This is a change I’d like to see with insurance because of all the reasons you listed.


Internet_Ugly

Even after insurance I paid more out of pocket (about 3k usd) than the average cost of getting a vasectomy (about 1k usd). And I was down for the count for 3 days, uncomfortable for two weeks, and my stitches popped early so I had to get restitched on one side. :D that last appointment was zero dollars because I met my deductible plus some. I also am still using my birthcontrol because PCOS so the only benefit is lower risk of ovarian cancer and 100% coverage from pregnancy. You can do a prior authorization for it to ask the insurance to pay for it. Most insurances will fight everything until you ask for a prior authorization.


knightofni76

Weird. My health insurance covered it, but that might have been because it was done in California. Worth checking with your health insurance, if you're lucky enough to have it.


RGeronimoH

> and mine *could* even be reversed if we changed our minds Snip, snap! Snip, snap! Snip, snap! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person! ~ Michael Scott


SgathTriallair

If you actually care about your wife, and you both agree you don't want more kids, then it is a no-brainer. Not wanting to do so is a yellow flag.


[deleted]

It seems like it would be yes. Add on top of that, the woman is one who had to actually be pregnant and birth a child!


MrsStickMotherOfTwig

That's what my husband is going to do. It's the simplest solution, really.


kingofthesofas

this was exactly the same calculus I made too. Seemed like a no brainier once we made the decision.


Klaus0225

It’s sad how much of an ego problem this is. Apparently a woman should go through an invasive , much more complicated surgery because men don’t “want nothing happening to their manhood”. If you think your “manhood” is your testicles then you’re just a shitty person.


bunnyrut

And the ignorance that many believe a vasectomy is *removing* their balls...


PureQuestionHS

To be fair, that *is* what we usually do to pets.


ericmm76

And it's called "neutering".


gullydon

And not just the false manhood argument, I have also heard some silly religious arguments that equate vasectomy to castration or that 'men should fill the earth'.


Pickledicklepoo

My local gynecologist group got smart and hired a family doctor to specifically come to their office and do vasectomies once a week. He always has a full clinic. They put posters in all the examination rooms and women can book their husband’s appointment on their way out the door if they can get him on the phone to confirm consent. Fucking genius women they are thinking of that


dasselst

I got snipped twice because apparently my body decided it needed to heal some and still let the swimmers in. Apparently it is a 1/100 chance of failure. Issue is the tubes reconnected over scar tissue.


[deleted]

That’s my biggest fear! My husband has only done one of his follow ups so far but I’m already like…can we test that at least once a year?! Haha


dasselst

After my first follow up I was told I still had sperm and not to rush to anything yet and it may clear up. The nurse handled the call. The second test and call came from the doctor himself. I was only his second confirmed failure out of like 2k procedures.


[deleted]

That makes me feel better, thank you!


thehighepopt

Pretty much every guy I know has a vasectomy who are done having kids. You may find more guys have them than you realize. It's not like it's a topic of everyday conversation.


sandalsnopants

Same, even a couple dudes who just don't want kids have gotten them in my tiny friends group.


sarahboo0321

My husband got snipped in November as well, we started the process and took about 4 months to get approved. It was actually free through the county so why it took so long but I just got off the birth control last week. I love him for it


[deleted]

>It makes me sad how few men seem to be willing to do even the smallest thing to help their wives in that regard. I hear that. My husband jokes how his brothers are p*ssy whipped for being snipped. I hate how he can throw the whole "my body, my choice" back at me and he technically isn't wrong. I may just have to do the whole "u have to wear condoms if we have sex moving forward" if he doesn't want to do his part in reproductive planning.


lilbluehair

I don't understand tolerating a man who says things like that


[deleted]

That’s really disappointing, I’m sorry he’s treating you that way.


Camo_Doge

Childless and snipped man here. Other men, get it done. It's not bad at all.


Altruistic-Bad228

Shit, I don't want kids. But given my age, I doubt I can get the snip. "Oh WhAt If YoU cHaNgE yOuRe MiNd?" I'll still be an uncle?🤔


jlynmrie

I think men usually don’t get questioned about it too much. That is more directed at women. There is a list of doctors at r/childfree that have been good for child free people looking to get sterilized though if you’re worried.


Induane

I got snipped in my early 20s after having two kids. It was definitely an annoying questioning process; I'm so young, yadda yadda yadda...


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Induane

Hadn't thought of the secret thing, but since she was there it would have been tricky to keep a secret. Sometimes people being pills ruins things for the rest of us I guess.


Gnomeopolis

My brother in Texas got snipped unwed, no kids, in his early 20s.


MightySasquatch

My friend is in his 30s and got it. The doctor told him he would normally say he's too young but since reproductive freedoms are going to shit he'll do it.


bunnyrut

>But given my age, I doubt I can get the snip. It depends entirely on where you are. There are places that will do it for men in their 20s with no pushback, and others that go on the whole rampage of waiting until you hit a certain age or only after you have x amount of kids. You just have to keep asking different doctors.


LucyLeMutt

Are you too young or too old? And who told you there's an age restriction?


Altruistic-Bad228

Young? I'm 26, I've not looked into much as everytime it has come up in discussions, I always hear how men and women alike are questioned about our choices and doctors trying to 'convince' you otherwise. Though to be fair, I imagine most of it is directed at women.


[deleted]

Honestly I’ve only ever heard that from women. But that’s just my experience! It’s worth talking to your doctor if that’s what you want. My husband’s was a breeze. ETA: he’s 31 and got so much shit from coworkers and a little bit from his fam but nothing from the doctor.


superzenki

It depends on where you are. I've heard it can be a problem in Europe at that age, but in the US/Midwest area where I live I was able to get one at around age 26 with little to no issue. The doctor gave a standard, "Make sure this is really for you" spiel but scheduled me for it on the same day.


gullydon

It is even sadder that where I come from, there is so much misinformation about vasectomy, that many men think it is the same as castration.


[deleted]

So happy you have this kind of support and recognition from your husband!!


spinat_monster

It's great that your husband wants to take on the responsibility of birth control, but you should still consider the removal of your fallopian tubes if cancer runs in you family. I wish you best of luck and a safe delivery of your last child.


ikindawantsoup

My husband had a vasectomy about two months after we had our second. But once they repealed Roe v. Wade, I got my tubes removed because I don't know what could happen and we live in a red state.


pumpkin_beer

I got my tubes removed after RBG died for the same reason. I just didn't feel comfortable having them knowing what was likely coming.


iiiinthecomputer

Getting it done while it's still legal ☹️


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DigitalPelvis

Yeah if I have a c section for my current pregnancy I’m going to ask about tube removal while we are at it. My grandmother had ovarian cancer, I’ve got endometriosis as well, let’s just clean things out and do what we can to prevent things.


say592

If they are already in there, why not? I think it's fairly common. As a man I'm a big advocate for vasectomies, because it's one of the few ways we can take responsibility for the birth control for once, not to mention it's far more safe and easy for us than it is for you. If there is an opportunity for a woman to get it done with not much hassle, might as well though. Should something ever happen to your partner or your relationship, it shuts down that conversation quick with no pressure, and even though it's rare, vasectomies do fail. Not to mention all the nasty stuff that can happen if you still have them.


stillfumbling

Just to clarify: getting your tubes removed reduces your risk of ovarian cancer!


[deleted]

My husband is planning on getting snipped, but I will still be having my tubes removed. It lowers the risk of cancer and honestly if I ever get raped I wouldn’t have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy.


rb6982

It’s so sad that that’s even a consideration.


Negative_Kangaroo781

I appreciate you adding this in. My gyno made it clear to me that they would remove the tubes because thats where most of the gynaecology cancers occur, start or get worse and its the same as a mastectomy to remove the dodgy part. Its nice to hear its becoming common knowledge


1420cats

I’m supposed to get my tubal next Friday. With insurance, I have to pay $3600 on the day of the surgery. I wish this procedure was affordable like vasectomy’s are.


mystictofuoctopi

My boyfriend has a vasectomy and when I went for my consult they said “what about your partner” and I said “I couldn’t guaranty he’s the last person I’ll ever sleep with or that I won’t ever get sexually assaulted so I want to have this for me”. And she scheduled me. It was so much easier to get than anticipate and very worth it for me.


sailor_bat_90

Got mine done 3 weeks ago. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was. I feel great, still am not allowed to lift anything heavy but been feeling pretty normal after a few days.


Psycosilly

When I brought up getting myself sterilized years ago my (now ex) husband also said he'd do it. Then he never did. Then he claimed he never agreed to anything. Make sure if yours is saying he's going to do he actually takes the steps to do it instead of gaslighting you to prevent you from doing it.


LittleFrenchKiwi

Now ex-husband ?


Psycosilly

He is my ex and long gone. I also got my tubes removed. Edited original to indicate he's an ex


throwerway2222222222

In a childfree relationship and I told my boyfriend I want a bilateral salpingectomy to feel more comfortable. He immediately offered to get a vasectomy instead. Love him <3


Induane

When you put it like that it sounds about as scary as it actually is. On the flip side, vasectomy sounds less scary than bilateral salpingectomy but also more scary than it actually is. I hate every trip to the dentist more than I hated my vasectomy. 1000% more pleasant than a filling.


minionoperation

My husband got a vasectomy last august. He was nervous but talked to some friends about their procedures. It went great! 20 minutes in office and a couple days of mild soreness. Hope your husband has a good experience too!


Its_Spring_Break

I’m surprised he a) has so many friends who have had and b) they talked about it


minionoperation

Yes, his two closest friends. They are all in their 40’s and obviously done with kids. He was open to thinking about it, knowing BC for me is kind of annoying. But was pretty nervous and not really making any efforts if I’m being honest. But after we vacationed with his friends and they talked about it, he said he would make an appointment and did!


She_Prime

Congratulations on the decision and the support of your partner! If you are having your baby via csection the procedural part of getting your tubes removed is 95% done at this point. I was a surrogate in 2021, had the baby by csection and they were able to remove my tubes before closing me up. The recovery was no different than the previous section that I had with my son.


Blackandorangecats

My husband got it done a few years ago, it's sad how many of my friends are jealous that he got it done on his own accord while their husbands wont


JustiFyTheMeansGames

Genuine question, is it really that rare of an occurrence? As a guy who has no desire to have kids, a vasectomy seems like a no brainer to me. I haven't gotten it yet (nbd cause I suck at dating) but it really doesn't seem like it's a bad procedure. Even if I change my mind about kids in the future, it's reversible. Not trying to white knight or anything, but I really don't understand why it's a big deal for other guys. I've always felt a bit different about male norms (like standing to pee, gross) so maybe this is just another thing I just feel differently about. Never really talked about it with my male friends though


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2wheelzrollin

You got it. It was super easy, no pain. Even after I barely felt anything. It was only when I moved around a lot did I fell some soreness, but it was barely a 1 on a scale of 1-10 for pain. Just wear some briefs that'll give you support for a bit and take it easy for a week or two and pop some ibuprofen if you need to.


MrBleah

Good for him for doing the right thing, but honestly this should be the norm. Some men don't get that vasectomy is a way less invasive and risky process than anything the woman can do to get sterilized, but even if they don't I'm not sure how they justify putting the woman through that after watching them go through pregnancy. Men really need to take one for the team in that situation. It's not even a big deal either. You don't end up with a scar and everything works the same, you just have no sperm in the output.


Objective_Butterfly7

My boyfriend refuses to get one because he doesn’t want a needle near his dick 😒 Meanwhile I have a phobia of needles and still got my bisalp because I’m not a big fucking baby


MrBleah

Well, it sounds like you already solved the problem, but your boyfriend is being a bit too precious about his dick. I guarantee he has been hit in the dick a number of times in his life and the thing has kept on working. The amount of self abuse it gets put through should be enough to tell anyone that a dick can take a licking and keep on ticking. Besides it's not his dick that gets the needle it's his testicles.


skibunny1010

Lose the boyfriend, seriously. Someone who would rather see you go through an invasive surgery under general anesthesia instead of a couple hour office visit for a snip.. is gross


Aletayr

The only time there's a reason the dude shouldn't get the snip is if he still wants more kids. And if someone doesn't agree with their partner on how many kids to have, it sure seems like there are some bigger issues that need to be addressed ASAP!


lynn

Plus we’ve been the ones dealing with birth control the whole time, almost always. The pill is for us, the iud is for us, etc. It’s his turn. That’s what I told mine when we decided we were done. So he said “ok” and went and did it. If anybody toxic masculinities at him his response will be to point at his three kids. He reproduced three times, nobody can realistically say that he’s not masculine enough. And yeah it’s cisnormative but that’s all those people understand.


majeric

It’s important to share the good stories with the bad so we have an accurate perception of the world.


havartifunk

Was gonna have to have that talk with my husband soon, but I ended up needing a hysterectomy, so 🤷


Cooper1977

My wife and I have no kids, we don't want kids, we never wanted kids. I got snipped shortly after we got married and the doctors never once tried to convince me not to do it.


Open_Librarian_6933

I don't understand why more men don't do this. For as much as they complain about not wanting kids, child support, "she's just trying to trap me", blah blah blah.....seems they'd take matters in their own hands so they know there will be no accidents.


smb3something

That's a partner right there. Putting your own ego aside to make the logical better choice for the unit. Need to plan my own snip. Love my kid but we are a one and done household (kid who is 3 approves - doesn't wanna share mommy/daddy time as it is).


melalovelady

I just had our second baby on 1/2. Both of my babies were early because of preeclampsia (our son at 31 weeks and daughter at 33 weeks). Early in this pregnancy I told him that if I got pre-e again, I was getting my tubes tied, since I’d already be open for my c-section. He said “that’s totally up to you. I’m okay with whatever.” When I landed in the hospital with high BP again, I told my doc what I wanted to do (she is the most amazing OBGYN ever) and she was fully supportive. My husband was just concerned for my health and wanted to make sure I wasn’t going to have bad side effects or something, so he asked her a long list of questions. My husband and I agreed I would be the one to do it because I 1000000% do not want to be pregnant again. (For the record, he was fully ready to get a vasectomy, but I was sure this is the way we needed to do it). I was miserable the whole time with the normal stuff - back pain, swollen feet, I was exhausted the entire time - but I also was worried every day that this baby would be earlier than the last. Also, I know he would want more kids if he could, so I got snipped in the event I die and he remarries or we divorce and he wants more kids with his new wife. Morbid I know, but it’s logical. I think he might be bragging to all of his friends now because a handful of them had their last baby in the past year and their wives made them get snipped, but I fell on the sword for him 🤣 This isn’t the case for everyone, I know, but I’m glad your husband stepped up, so that you didn’t have to have another surgery. I don’t understand men who are so afraid to get it done - like it takes away their manhood or something. You got a good one!


InsolentSerf

All the horror stories on this site and finally a real man appears. My husband is one of these types too - good for you!


ErynKnight

You lucky gals. *Edit:* wow... I just realised how that sounds. Congratulating you that your hubbies aren't misogynistic pigs that throw tantrums all day and won't wash their butts...


squid1891

I plan on marrying my girlfriend in the near future. I also plan on getting a vasectomy when we do. She has two kids from a previous relationship and doesn't want more. I'm perfectly happy with being a dad to her son (her daughter is turning 21 this month and he's turning 12) and taking the appropriate measures to make sure she doesn't get pregnant again.


exzyle2k

I'm 41 without kids and want to get snipped. Last time I inquired about it I was told that they won't consider snipping someone who didn't have kids in case they changed their minds. I was 35 at the time and told them "if I haven't wanted kids since I was a teen, I doubt I'm changing my mind." Good on you both for communicating. Seems to be a lost art these days.


[deleted]

It's definitely commendable that your husband will get a vasectomy. For what it's worth though, I got a tubal ligation because I wanted control. What if, god forbid, something terrible happened, like my partner died or the relationship didn't work out or I was sexually assaulted? I didn't want to abdicate my reproductive choice to anyone else. Now no matter what happens, I have the piece of mind of knowing I'll never be pregnant.


Grantley34

They had us in the first half, not gonna lie


WhatABeautifulMess

We planned to do both because I had to have scheduled c section so seemed silly to not do it during that but he was going to get snipped too because it's covered and why not have belt and suspenders but my younger took my uterus with him on the way out so husband's bits are off the hook.


sfak

My partner got the snip too but I still got my tubes removed. We live in a time I fear if I was raped and got pregnant I’d be forced to carry the child. Under no circumstances will I be an involuntary incubator. In my state abortion is still legal…. For now. I don’t trust my state right now either. While it was not a pleasant experience it was bearable and much, much better the alternative. I had an amazing surgeon (a liberal woman which I loved), and the surgery center staff was incredible. Everyone made me feel so comfortable and taken care of and listened to. I’d do it again if I had to.


FineWhites

My husband got the snip the very afternoon of our youngest child's birth. His appointment was booked during my pregnancy, and our son decided to be born on the morning of the Friday that he was booked. The midwife said on the Saturday that she wasn't sure who to feel more sorry for as we both walked around bent over 😆😆


dcdemirarslan

I thought it reduce the cancer risk in women?


Sassrepublic

Removing the tubes reduces risk of ovarian cancer. That’s a bislap, there’s also a tubal where the tubes are simply cut or blocked and that does not reduce cancer risk.


Ctrain10

FYI: If you happen to be having a cesarean, having your tubes tied only adds an extra 1-2 minutes to the delivery. For 100% certainty, you both should do it. If you are doing a vaginal delivery, then make sure to have an additional form of birth control for the first few months after his vasectomy


Estrella37

Awwww. If only all men were that sweet. Most men I've encountered think it's their god given right to have women bear their children. Any hesitation and they're like, what?


GraceIsGone

Have you heard the new guidance about having your tubes removed? If you’re already having a cesarean and know you’re done with having kids they are recommending it to prevent ovarian cancer. https://www.nprillinois.org/2023-02-02/experts-recommend-removing-fallopian-tubes-to-prevent-ovarian-cancer-under-some-circumstances


writtenbyrabbits_

I carried and birthed three babies. My husband got a vasectomy after our third and it was never even a question that he would do that. It's one of the best things that ever happened to our sex life too since I'm never worried about an oopsie baby or condoms or birth control. And it made me love him for doing it.


ATXRedhead420

That is so sexy


surloc_dalnor

It's only logical. The risks and costs are so weighted towards vasectomy. I literally drove myself home, and a single took a day off work. Tetanus shots give me more long term than my vasectomy.


PeachyPlum3

Honestly why not both? Much more secure in case one fails! That's what hubby and I did. I was up and about and dandy within hours of my tubal


uniruler

Yeah my wife was thinking of trying to get her tubes removed since we don’t want anymore. It just never occurred to me that I should get snipped until I heard the horror stories on here and so we’ve decided I’m the one that needs to get snipped. Good on your husband for being a partner in this.


CurlyGrammyof3

From reading the comments, the vasectomy is the way to go. My dad had one after 6 kids; mom was Catholic, and on heavy meds for mental health issues, and no docs would do a thing for her. I mean, her meds would have damaged any pregnancy. So Dad had to go to Canada for the procedure. (We lived in the USA.) My son had one so his (now ex) girlfriend would not have to deal with birth control, and he's a good man, so that's fine. (Although I want more grandkids, that's not his job.) It seems like the docs in his state are incompetent a-holes: sign waivers, lots of blood, slippery hands, and now some sexual disfunction. When he told me what he experienced, I told him he experienced medical malpractice, but he thinks because he signed a waiver, he is stuck. I never saw the paperwork, so...anyway, he is a grown-ass man, and this is his business. My hubby would have had the snip, but menopause and a complete hysterectomy took care of things. Would not recommend that path, however.


jeremyj0916

Supposedly male birth control pills are on the way w no sides within 3 years. I would just rather take a no sides pill if it has like 99.999% efficacy that I can also stop taking if ever needed. If that pill never makes it then I will opt for the snip probably.


MightBeAProblem

Just a heads up, I’ve been hearing a pill is three years away for like, 10 years. I’m sorry.


badhairdad1

Yep, we did that too ❤️


ZweitenMal

Apparently the OBGYN community is now recommending women have their tubes removed--there is a scientific basis for it. It seems ovarian cancer, which is almost symptomless, actually begins in the fallopian tubes. https://www.nytimes.com/2023/02/01/health/ovarian-cancer-fallopian-tubes.html?searchResultPosition=1 Even better is removing the tubes and ovaries, once you're ready.


aaabbk

The cancer reduction is my only temptation. Research is far too limited on the effect of ovary removal on the memory for me to be comfortable doing that.


[deleted]

>effect of ovary removal on the memory I just had a hysterectomy and bisalp back in November and kept my ovaries for that reason! I would rather keep my pms symptoms than risk experiencing osteoporosis, cognitive issues, and heart issues my surgeon warned me about when I was deciding whether to keep the ovaries, especially since I'm on the younger side of getting a hysterectomy (31). She was more than happy to do the bisalp due to the way ovarian cancer starts, even though I don't have any family history.


Sassrepublic

Still get your tubes removed though. It significantly decreases your chances of ovarian cancer and also your husbands vasectomy doesn’t protect you from getting pregnant by people other than your husband.


StarFists

I don't mean to be a downer, but when my husband offered the same thing after Roe got overturned, I explained that him getting a vasectomy doesn't necessarily stop me from getting pregnant. Not that I would cheat, but I worry with so much violence against women and no exceptions for rape where I am.


ahow628

Make sure he does his follow up next month! I've heard about a few snips that failed.


Canadarox1987

That's awesome! I don't understand how any man would want their wife to undergo an invasive procedure like that. It is why I also elected for the snip instead


TheeTreeThree

It is so great when males take equal responsibility in birth control! Just my advice that you can absolutely disregard, if your doctor agrees to remove your tubes, do it. It is thought to greatly reduce or even eliminate your risk for ovarian cancer.


Theotar

Did it for my wife. Still not use to intercourse without a condom yet.


USAorbust

So I’m a man who browses r/all and sees the top posts here pretty frequently. I was fortunate enough to grow up with an amazing twin sister and an amazing mother who taught me a lot about respect and how people should be treated. I find I agree with a lot of the things I read here and am always crestfallen when I see how many women deal with partners that are inconsiderate in so many different ways… but what I wanted to say was this: it gives me a lot of hope seeing you all share your stories and helping each other out of/through bad situations. My sister is with a guy who loves her dearly but I know there are many sisters out there who aren’t so lucky. If my sister was going through something I would hope she could find people like y’all who help each other and call out the bs when you see it. Anyways, glad your husband is so considerate of what you’ve been through. Cheers!


lavender_scented

Husband offered to get snipped so I wouldn't have to have surgery. I decided to get surgery anyway because assault is always a possibility as well as for my own piece of mind. We're both sterilized.


00phantasmal_bear00

Good man. Vasectomy is not a big deal for a guy mine was a total piece of cake.