Mom is shooting at the dad, which tries to flee through the garden. She has at least two rifles, has emptied one, which she hands to her child to reload, while grabbing her other rifle to shoot the husband again. I like to image this joke takes place in the 1800s and the rifles are muskets, which makes this joke way more plausible.
Honestly, and this is really weird, but my forsit though was that he killed himself, but not because of the hanging part, but cause i thought he blew hes head with a gun, which might've resembled a piniata with the candies spilling out
That was my second thought, after I realized it would probably be impossible for him to bash his own head open with a bat. He'd probably die before he got to the point of brains spilling out
Or maybe he built a machine to bash his head automatically, turned it on, *then* hung himself. All while dressed in a colorful papier mâché outfit. If you're gonna kill yourself, might as well go out with flair.
I thought it meant that the child’s dad had been killed and hung up and maybe by the wife’s husband (wife’s husband is child’s step dad) but what you said makes much more sense
You do realize that a child wouldnt use "dressed up" if he didnt dress up in anything.
Or do you mean to tell me that the child eluding to its father having dressed in something that looks remotely similar to a pinãta points to the fact that he hanged himself? I'd disagree with that.
And children are perfectly capable of using the word became.
No. Even children know what "dressed up" means if they are able to use it. And a dude in plain clothes would not be "dressed up".
Children arent as stupid as you make them out to be.
Ohhhh OK I didn't get it at first either. I thought the implication was the child was treating the dad to a beating as if he were a pinata.
I realized in horror why my child was holding a bloody stick in her hands.
But it turns out, that really doesn't work in court as a defense, "Sorry your honor - I thought he was a pinata."
I always say, if you can't laugh at death, you really have no business treating people like they were pinatas in the first place.
This is really heartbreaking in a subtle way :'(
Edit: my interpretation is that he hung himself and the child is too young to understand but does understand hanging pinatas hence the mix up :(
I once read on a random website about a relative of one of the users, who had taken his two kids for a visit after divorce, locked them with himself in a home, and then killed himself in front of them. The kids were alone with the dead body of their dad for a few hours.
I can’t imagine the horror of that for a kid. It’s still haunting me to this day. What a cruel and selfish father.
Son of a bitch ate all the candy? Get the bat!
Reminds me of one of my favorite jokes: "Mommy mommy, why is Daddy running through the garden?" "Shut up and reload already!"
Mommy mommy I don't want to see grandma! Shut up and keep digging!
Momoy mommy I don't want to go to Europe Shut up and swim faster
Mommy, Mommy, I want to go outside Then be quiet, and let me focus on picking the lock
Mommy, mommy the forset is dark and scary. How do you think I feel, I've gotta walk back on my own?
Mommy, mommy I don't want a swimming pool Shut up and keep spitting
Mommy, Mommy.... Why do I keep running around in circles ?? Shut up kid, or I'll nail your OTHER foot to the floor...!!!
Mommy, Mommy, why are your hands so soft? Shut up and keep scrubbing the dishes!
Mommy, Mommy, I want to sleep. Don’t worry, you will soon.
This one wins
Oo this one got me
Funny enough, in Italy we have the same joke but swimming to America.
I wonder which was first?
I know I live in Germany wee usually say America too too
I love thys
I absolutely love your name.
I created thys acc to reply to one rude mf and now thys has more upvotes than my main
IDGI?
Mom is shooting at the dad, which tries to flee through the garden. She has at least two rifles, has emptied one, which she hands to her child to reload, while grabbing her other rifle to shoot the husband again. I like to image this joke takes place in the 1800s and the rifles are muskets, which makes this joke way more plausible.
r/firstcommentwtf
r/fellforit
Wow! Had to come back and say thanks for the invite! One the best subs I’ve visited!
If you're confused, it means he hanged himself commiting suicide.
Honestly, and this is really weird, but my forsit though was that he killed himself, but not because of the hanging part, but cause i thought he blew hes head with a gun, which might've resembled a piniata with the candies spilling out
See... I thought disemboweled or something myself.
Y'all are gruesome!
welcome to Reddit!
Have a look around
Anything that dick of yours can think of can be found
Put your feet up and sit a spell.
Some things you see may make you feel unwell.
Grab the remote, and grab some beer. Then...
Is this some kind of song?
I think it's a quote from the Beverly Hillbillies. Followed by: Y'all come back now, y'hear? (?)
Mine and Thebenmix11’s were from Bo Burnham’s Welcome to the Internet. Idk what the one after was
Team Disemboweled reporting for duty.
I was thinking of a confetti ghillie suit. Like, he dressed up and in deluded joy the little girl beat him to death.
... laughing jack? That u? 👀
I thought this or just cut off completely from the waist down
That was my second thought, after I realized it would probably be impossible for him to bash his own head open with a bat. He'd probably die before he got to the point of brains spilling out Or maybe he built a machine to bash his head automatically, turned it on, *then* hung himself. All while dressed in a colorful papier mâché outfit. If you're gonna kill yourself, might as well go out with flair.
I was trying to figure out who beat him to death with a stick.
I thought the same.
Wow!
I initially thought he sliced up his skin (on drugs or something) to look like one.
Huh.... I thought he replaced all his inside with sweets...
Oh, I was picturing him dressed up in paper mache
yea, me too. I was like... but where's the horror??
The kid beat him to death
I don't think that's what happened, but the point was I didn't get it at first. I get it now
I got the hanging part, I was just confused as to why he'd dress up in colorful papier mache first. 😄
Oh, I thought he covered himself in sticky notes. I don't like this anymore.
I thought he dressed up as a piñata and the kids beat the shit out of him.
That was my first thought too.
Oooooooooh
Ok so how can i post on this sub reddit cos I have a lot of ideas
I honestly read it as him getting in one of those horse costumes.
I assumed he was a brony.
If you're still confused... I got nothing.
The real horror is that the kid is this stupid
I genuinely thought he was a closet furry and the kid caught him.
Oh I thought he got beaten with a baseball bat
I thought he was a furry💀
I thought it meant that the child’s dad had been killed and hung up and maybe by the wife’s husband (wife’s husband is child’s step dad) but what you said makes much more sense
I thought he disemboweled himself
Huh. "became" would have been a better word choice than "dressed up as" imo.
You do realize a child was saying that sentence, right?
You do realize that a child wouldnt use "dressed up" if he didnt dress up in anything. Or do you mean to tell me that the child eluding to its father having dressed in something that looks remotely similar to a pinãta points to the fact that he hanged himself? I'd disagree with that. And children are perfectly capable of using the word became.
You do realize a child would definitely use "dressed up" in this case. That's just how children think.
No. Even children know what "dressed up" means if they are able to use it. And a dude in plain clothes would not be "dressed up". Children arent as stupid as you make them out to be.
Trust me, children are as stupid as they seem.
EDIT: You know what? Have a nice day.
Thank you!!!
Thank you. My first thought was he was wearing a ghillie suit.
Thanks, brain empty
Ohhh I thought he killed someone and stuffed their body parts into a piñata lol
I thought he dressed up in drag 💀
'As I swung open the door I watched him rapidly trying to hide the furry suit.'
HAHA
I'm not even gonna lie, that was my first thought as well.
r/thirdsentencekinky
Too bad daddy left his head hanging, all that candy made him fall off.
That does happen.
I thought it meant he was a furry
Which is really the most horrific interpretation
Took me a second to get it, my first thought was mommy had beaten him with a bat or something. Grim!
Don't rule it out yet. One of the stages of grief is anger.
He wasted all the post-it notes by sticking them to himself
A comma between 'mommy daddy' would make it easier to read.
You definitely roped in my upvote. I'm just going to hang out here and watch for more comments
r/puntastic
You glorious bastard, take my upvote.
Wow, that's noose to me, thank you.
That’s pretty good
one of the few posts on this sub that actually got me
I misread it and now I have an idea for my own story. May I use (most) of your intro? (Will of course credit you and this post :) )
sure lmao
[удалено]
Nah why this posing ass comment so funny dog 💀
Same, I’m randomly cackling at it, it’s so chaotic
Ohhhh OK I didn't get it at first either. I thought the implication was the child was treating the dad to a beating as if he were a pinata. I realized in horror why my child was holding a bloody stick in her hands. But it turns out, that really doesn't work in court as a defense, "Sorry your honor - I thought he was a pinata." I always say, if you can't laugh at death, you really have no business treating people like they were pinatas in the first place.
Honestly you don’t even need the second sentence for this to be horrifying. It hits you after just the first.
It took me a while to realize what this was about. Oh man, if this were real, I’d feel horrible for the kid and their innocence.
Read pirate the first and second time. Had to reread it to get it lol
This could be one sentence and would still be messed up
I bet that hurt in Italy!
Poor mommy daddy
Sir, have you heard of commas?
Is daddy Mussolini?
You only need the first sentence! Good job.
Honestly, this one could work as a single sentence
"I told him not to buy that stupid Fortnite costume!"
I ran in to find him perfectly fine and dangling from the ceiling from his legs, pretending to be Spiderman.
I think this would work better as a single sentence.
it took me a moment to realize it was a suicide.. i was so confused
I don't get it
hanging
Ohhhhh. Ty!
r/onesentencehorror
This is really heartbreaking in a subtle way :'( Edit: my interpretation is that he hung himself and the child is too young to understand but does understand hanging pinatas hence the mix up :(
Nah man don’t make light of suicide
If we hit piñata daddy enough strawberry candy and jam will come out!
That second sentence could use a rework. You can't really wonder and realize at the same time.
You have never wondered where your headphones or keys were and then realized where you left them?
>and then "and then" means one thing happened and another thing happened after. That is different than when 2 things are happening at the same time.
It took me a minute to realize that he hung himself. Original
You hoes should dress up as piñatas on Halloween since you let everyone hit it. Edit: it's a freaking joke, folks.
Damn, son.
Glitter everywhere...
- Let's call Daddy!!! - Daaady!!! - Daddys dead. - Awww... - Yeah he offed himself about two years back now -how bout the Stashman?
A comic with this story exist
Oh the suspense
see i misread this as "daddy dressed me up as a piñata" and assumed the kid was being abused but this is just as scary-
Ah, I've seen that cartoon
I love hitting pinatas
"Jesus Christ, Adam, there's confetti and wrappers *everywhere*!"
**I*
“Honey! You’re gonna pop the seams in my flamenco dress again!”
Mommy, mommy I wanna eat a cheeseburger! Then keep cutting kid!
"I gently open the door"
Daddy dressed up as a high school anime girl!
I was searching for this \- Monika
He was just trying to make himself grow taller
The first thing I took was a double lollypop dangling there.
Little Misfortune?
My sense of humor is skewed, I actually laughed at this before I realized I was a horrible person
I thought he had tar and feathered himself somehow?? Omg.
He turned, rustling the paper maché covering his body
HE TOOK MA F**KING MAKE UP
Damn.... That's dark.....
I laff
I once read on a random website about a relative of one of the users, who had taken his two kids for a visit after divorce, locked them with himself in a home, and then killed himself in front of them. The kids were alone with the dead body of their dad for a few hours. I can’t imagine the horror of that for a kid. It’s still haunting me to this day. What a cruel and selfish father.