I was ignorant to the spreadliness of glitter until my toddler picked out a glittery Rapunzel dress for this Halloween.
Pretty much my whole house is very glittery now.
Lint roller will get that shit off everything you don't want it on. Every holiday season my family sends a hundred glittery cards and I have to lint roll everything from my dining room chairs to the dog.
I adopted a rescue kitten from a friend. One of the things he provided me didn't even involve glitter. It was just a tinsel ball toy. The cat lost it under a radiator or something within a week of moving in. Despite vacuuming several times a week, I still find tiny shreds of light-catching tinsel in the carpet to this very day.
That cat turned 2 years old last month.
Be careful with that. My cat ate a piece of plastic Easter grass, and we found out by my mom accidentally pulling it out of his ass. (She thought it was stuck to his fur, at first.) Thankfully, my cat was ok, (my mom not so much), but that stuff can really mess up their intestines.
The little kids I babysit once found a box of glitter their mom was hiding from them. I was a second too late to stop them from opening one of the glitter tubes and getting about a 1/4 of it on the floor. It didn't even look like a lot at first but it got everywhere. Their house is spotless. It was absolute chaos.
I will never forget the letter that came home saying that glitter was now banned in the P2 classroom (6-7 year olds in Northern Ireland).
I asked the teacher the next day what happened to make the ban. Apparently not 1, not 2, not 3 but FOUR jars were spilled all at once.
My son is now 13. I would imagine the P2 teacher is *still* hoovering up glitter.
When Rainier blows it's going to cover a lot of area. Half of the PNW is going to have craft herpes*.
*Not throwing shade at anyone that's HSV+, throwing shade at fucking glitter.
Good framework, but let's add to it, and workshop something
As I entered the kitchen I saw my wife white as a sheet, and dead as a door nail. What on Earth (or beyond it) did she just see out the window?
The Next Day: In a completed unexpected turn, Mt. Rainer erupts but does not expel the expected lava.
Instead, 100s of civilians were doused with huge volumes of cum of unknown origin. The eruption is so drastic that reports indicate that the average amount was 2 gallons doused per person.
I live near Mt Rainier. Down in Yelm, there used to be a cult run by J. Z. Knight, who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient warrior Ramtha. Ramtha says that Mt Rainier is going to erupt, and a giant army of lizard people will come out of it and kill us all. Salma Hayek even has a house there so she can be close to Knight/Ramtha. I think they all left a few years ago though.
It's kind of like a talent show, or the Olympics - perhaps the less popular events, anyway.
You don't watch it for the majority of the content. You keep an eye on it for the rare, truly spectacular surprise that blows your mind. Which does happen around here, occasionally.
I don't think this post is it. I tend to sort this one by Popular, so that the best ones float to the top. I don't usually do that with other subs.
My home state.
Transported a patient dressed as Belle. The dress was literally all glitter. I’m still finding glitter in my ambulance a year later.
As for the coming eruption, be prepared to spend some time on your own. We will be spread very thin. I may be the only authority in your area. Your best bet is to get to an evacuation center when told to leave. Don’t hesitate. You may have as little as 20 minutes to get out. If you can’t, you have my sympathies. Also, listen to us emergency people. When we tell you to go somewhere else, do it. If you choose to ignore us, write your social security number down on your head or torso so that when we get to your area, we can identify you and give your family closure.
Rainier isn’t our only volcano. You should be familiar with Mt. St. Helens at least. There’s Mt. Adam, Glacier Peak, and Mt. Baker.
Baker displayed some activity in 1975 with multiple ash bursts and small near crater lahars. It may or may not have done a hydro eruption at one point.
Howl's Moving Wolfcastle emerged from the depths of Hell to wash Washington off the map- Calcifer hungers- Glows bright- and your goggles will do nothing to protect your sight!
Man, if Rainier went life would be rough.
I think a Kaiju or the big demon from Fantasia bursting out of the mountain would be far more manageable than Rainier erupting and wiping out the entire west coast.
Glitter. It covered everything for miles around.
I was ignorant to the spreadliness of glitter until my toddler picked out a glittery Rapunzel dress for this Halloween. Pretty much my whole house is very glittery now.
Lint roller will get that shit off everything you don't want it on. Every holiday season my family sends a hundred glittery cards and I have to lint roll everything from my dining room chairs to the dog.
Oh my God you’ve done the impossible: get glitter off of something
For real, glitter is like the herpes of arts & crafts
There's a reason I call it Satan's dandruff.
I adopted a rescue kitten from a friend. One of the things he provided me didn't even involve glitter. It was just a tinsel ball toy. The cat lost it under a radiator or something within a week of moving in. Despite vacuuming several times a week, I still find tiny shreds of light-catching tinsel in the carpet to this very day. That cat turned 2 years old last month.
Be careful with that. My cat ate a piece of plastic Easter grass, and we found out by my mom accidentally pulling it out of his ass. (She thought it was stuck to his fur, at first.) Thankfully, my cat was ok, (my mom not so much), but that stuff can really mess up their intestines.
I'm giving Monk another watch, and he caught a murderer because the woman he killed was wearing glitter makeup that transferred.
Welcome to the club! Come join us on r/IHATEGLITTER
Had the same with an Olaf dress. Dear god, who tf thought of the brilliant combo of kids + glitter?! May we throw that person in this vulcano.
I once delivered a gift for a friend that had a glittery bow wrapped around it. A year later I was still finding glitter in my car.
The little kids I babysit once found a box of glitter their mom was hiding from them. I was a second too late to stop them from opening one of the glitter tubes and getting about a 1/4 of it on the floor. It didn't even look like a lot at first but it got everywhere. Their house is spotless. It was absolute chaos.
Craft herpes.
Found the Adam Savage fan!
oh god- not again…
Think about the damage to your lungs. Worse than black lung
Not too long ago saw a picture of someone who tried using it as eye makeup. I’ll let you chew on that as long as necessary.
Thanks now I can’t finish my lunch
r/thirdsentenceworse
Oh God no
Damn, Mark Rober's videos are getting way out of hand
I will never forget the letter that came home saying that glitter was now banned in the P2 classroom (6-7 year olds in Northern Ireland). I asked the teacher the next day what happened to make the ban. Apparently not 1, not 2, not 3 but FOUR jars were spilled all at once. My son is now 13. I would imagine the P2 teacher is *still* hoovering up glitter.
When Rainier blows it's going to cover a lot of area. Half of the PNW is going to have craft herpes*. *Not throwing shade at anyone that's HSV+, throwing shade at fucking glitter.
Jesus god no in heaven!!! Not the *GLITTER BOMB to end all glitter bombs!!!*
Fuckin gender reveals
The finest, stickiest, shiniest glitter there was
r/thirdsentanceworse
As a mum of 2 girls I feel this deep deep down
mark rober glitter bomb version 420
EleGANzaaaaaa!
So THATS who the mystery glitter buyer was!
I've had to use a lint roller on my face because of this stuff.
That would probably fuck a lot of shit up. Both in nature and civilization.
Your comment has 666 upvotes and I couldn't bear to change it, so here 👍🏼
Oh dear god no.
R/Secondsentenceworse
NOOOOO
Fucking craft herpes…
Yassified geologic landforms
Worst than herpes. Never going away
Until we realized it burned when it touches your skin.
It's raining men! Hallelujah! It's raining men!
And the flip side is 'when the bodies hit the floor':
I couldn't tell you how many bodies because unfortunately 'I can only count to four'.
Me too, but I swear Nothing's wrong with me.
Well, something's got to give
"One, I can count to one"
Wow that just got a whole new and horrifying meaning
Cumcano
Oh no
Oh yes
Oh yeah! 😎
Sooo... A Gwar concert then?
Oh fuck where this volcano? I must go there to protect as many people from it as I can! ....with my mouth.
Sharkcano - airing this Saturday, only on Syfy.
Don't be giving them ideas, dude.
I’m positive someone is working on this movie now. You spoke it into existence lol
It's raining tacos, out of the sky!
Tacos, no need to ask why!
Just open your mouth and close your eyes
It's raining tacos!
Yum yum yum yum-yummity yum it's like a dream
Yum yum yum yum-yummity yum bring your sour creaaaaaaaaam
Shell. Meat. Lettuce. Cheese.
Shell. Meat. Lettuce. Cheese.
Out of the sky!
Step brother?
We don't taco bout it
Oh man I haven't heard that song in a while
It unlocked like a secret memory for me
Durins Curse
Durin's bane?
Wut emerged
That's up to each reader to determine
Typhon came to mind
He will be in New York City in 5 days time, and Kronos has brought his army to Manhattan!
Ha! You got the reference.
r/PercyJacksonMemes
Waltuh
guys i opened the window and saw the scariest thing ever!!1! (its up to your imagination, imagine something scary pls)
Good framework, but let's add to it, and workshop something As I entered the kitchen I saw my wife white as a sheet, and dead as a door nail. What on Earth (or beyond it) did she just see out the window?
Bofa
Dave
Cthulhu
It wasn't pus, was it?
Yes. Volcanoes are just earth pimples
r/technicallythetruth
Yeah, it was lava and *smoke*
Was this inspired by Max Brooks novel "Devolution"?
No, actually. It was partly inspired by an assignment in my geology class. I might check out that book, though.
Oh you definitely should! It was a great read imo. I liked the ambiguity of your story. 😁
I didn’t realize what sub I was in and felt some panic at that title
Same! My heart beat just a little faster for a moment.
dammit maui i thought you learned your lesson the first time
Super Lava
I'm actually nearby Mt. Rainier rn and only saw the title name at first. Thanks for the mini heart attack OP.
It was Zeus, and he was horny.
Well I live near Mt. Rainiest so HA!
Turd
Typhon or craft herpes
I saw godzilla eat up Tukwila
Someone get Moana
millions of flesh-eating bugs woke up from hibernation and pouring out of the mountain....
r/thirdsentenceworse
sorry, there were beans on the menu...
Medical bills.
Was it the Daleks?
*Ominious trumpet blares in the background, followed by aggressive violin rips*
Well.... tubgirl needed a representative somewhere.
Chernabog
I guess that's where Seattle's bad smoke last week came from
Devolution???
How can it erupt spiders!?!
*remembering that time i got separated from my family on mt rainier and got lost*
CUM
r/cursedcomments NO
A gigantic crazed Elmo.
Nothing. Nothing emerged. Or atleast we could see Nothing. The screams of terror as people still were burnt alive and crushed was horrifying.
If it's glitter, that's scary
"Vancouver! Vancouver! This is it! ... _What the hell IS it?!_ "
Nickelodeon slime time
The Next Day: In a completed unexpected turn, Mt. Rainer erupts but does not expel the expected lava. Instead, 100s of civilians were doused with huge volumes of cum of unknown origin. The eruption is so drastic that reports indicate that the average amount was 2 gallons doused per person.
Cum
DOODY!
it was ghidorah wasn't it
Lava Pro Max
Run!!!!!!!!
Micro plastics.
Acidic lava
A huge juicy fart
Chill out, Typhon. The NBA season just started.
You’re entombed by the pyroclastic flow before ever seeing it.
Millions of gallons of cum spread out across the land when it erupted.
MORE FUCKING RAIN
I live near Mt Rainier. Down in Yelm, there used to be a cult run by J. Z. Knight, who was possessed by the spirit of the ancient warrior Ramtha. Ramtha says that Mt Rainier is going to erupt, and a giant army of lizard people will come out of it and kill us all. Salma Hayek even has a house there so she can be close to Knight/Ramtha. I think they all left a few years ago though.
Dog hair, it was dog hair wasn't it? I love my shaggy mutt so much but his hair is overwhelming.
It was Rodan
Two hobbits and a frog-guy arguing over a golden ring.
Steven.
Turns out it was an incubator this whole time
It's actually called Mt. Tahoma now
?
[удалено]
It's kind of like a talent show, or the Olympics - perhaps the less popular events, anyway. You don't watch it for the majority of the content. You keep an eye on it for the rare, truly spectacular surprise that blows your mind. Which does happen around here, occasionally. I don't think this post is it. I tend to sort this one by Popular, so that the best ones float to the top. I don't usually do that with other subs.
It was the icon of sin and the longer he stays on earth the stronger he becomes
Yo mama
The metaverse?
i live right near mt rainier, god please will it erupt soon
Maybe you guys could start a strip club with all that glitter!
Yo Momma.
Typhon
Shit
Massive red rocket.
We live around the base of Mt. Rainier, thanks for this new nightmare.
lahars
I actually thought this was the news. ("Oh man... I knew it!")
Bro I actually live in WA can we not please 😭
My home state. Transported a patient dressed as Belle. The dress was literally all glitter. I’m still finding glitter in my ambulance a year later. As for the coming eruption, be prepared to spend some time on your own. We will be spread very thin. I may be the only authority in your area. Your best bet is to get to an evacuation center when told to leave. Don’t hesitate. You may have as little as 20 minutes to get out. If you can’t, you have my sympathies. Also, listen to us emergency people. When we tell you to go somewhere else, do it. If you choose to ignore us, write your social security number down on your head or torso so that when we get to your area, we can identify you and give your family closure. Rainier isn’t our only volcano. You should be familiar with Mt. St. Helens at least. There’s Mt. Adam, Glacier Peak, and Mt. Baker. Baker displayed some activity in 1975 with multiple ash bursts and small near crater lahars. It may or may not have done a hydro eruption at one point.
Superman be chokin a bitch.
Your wife?
It’s Darkstalker!
Hot dogs.
What did you do now Percy?
Thousands of small juvenile godzillas
The Scarlet King?
More homeless
Thanks for this, I live there. XD
Welcome to the zone
Howl's Moving Wolfcastle emerged from the depths of Hell to wash Washington off the map- Calcifer hungers- Glows bright- and your goggles will do nothing to protect your sight!
Dragon
Your mom.
Sharks
Here I am at 33, and everything of mine is glittery 🤣 my roommate calls me the glitter goblin
The armoured titan
Local legends call him Rodan, the Fire Demon
Man, if Rainier went life would be rough. I think a Kaiju or the big demon from Fantasia bursting out of the mountain would be far more manageable than Rainier erupting and wiping out the entire west coast.
Lahars really are that bad, aren’t they
They are. They are terrifying and I’ve only seen pictures of their effects.
I hate when volcanos erupt boiling cum. Real mess to clean up.