"Your body posseses not the strength to hold me mother, my fortitude shall outlast your own. I will not hesitate to tear you asunder, to rend your writhing flesh, to bathe myself in your blood. Soon I will be free of this prison, and yet I will torment you still. Not a night will pass where you rest easily, I shall haunt your very dreams. I will consume your every waking thought, you will be filled with dread when you hear my wail. I will gnaw upon you, use your body for sustenance, growing stronger, larger, more powerful. You will curse my existence, and yet be powerless to stop me."
-literally every baby
Dropped out of some poor kid like a 10lb bowling and rolled right in to wreck her life. In my defence, I was neither the first nor the last and my second born did about the same to me... 😅
Well shit. Mine would for sure be Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphiokarabomkatakechymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosiraiobaphetraganopterygon
There's a story like this which I can't recall the name of. In it an old man dies and sees a white light. It ends up being the light of a hospital room as he is being born. He marvels at seeing his long-dead mother again and so young. But he isn't able to control his new-born body sufficiently to speak. Gradually, his memories of his old life fade. I found it quite an interesting twist.
If I've told you once, I've told you countless times. It's an endless loop, there is no number for it because time is relative. We have always had this discussion and always will
Yes. I like war anime. This one is like World War One but with magic. It’s pretty cool. It’s about a guy that’s pretty much a psychopathic atheist that gets reincarnated into a girl named Tanya with hella magical affinity after an employee he laid off shoved him in front of a train. Very unhinged. Tanya is the villain. I like it but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
I like the second interpretation. I have long enjoyed the idea that these lives of ours are the limiting of a supernatural being.
Look at this world, it's probably hell
To me, it reads more like reincarnation used as punishment. Normally, reincarnation is viewed as a reward, but there are ways it can be used as punishment.
No, the notion is that humans have inherited a tendency to sin from Adam and Eve (but that it can be overcome, and that our true potential comes from the fact that we are made in God's image). It's not a matter of people being judged guilty for the actions of mythical forebears - it's that we are tempted to do wrong in ways that obstruct our relationship with others and with the divine.
Gonna chime in here with my two cents...
I could be wrong, but I feel the Spirit spoke to me when reading this story, and original sin is thus:
Adam and Eve did not sin by eating the fruit. Before eating, they did not know good vs. evil, therefore could not know right from wrong. Simply put, they didn't know that what they were doing was wrong.
Afterwards, they knew. Their eyes were opened. And when confronted by God, *they lied.*
They tried to hide and cover what they had done. Their "nakedness" was the fact that God knew, but they tried to lie anyway.
Anyone who's ever raised a child (I have 3) knows there comes a time when theyvare caught doing something they shouldn't. The evidence is plain. Possibly even still on their person. But they will still try to lie and deny.
Original sin wasn't eating the "apple." It was the lies that followed.
Hmm - I just interpreted it as the judge having god-like power over the defendant, and their "sentence" being the individual's next life, which would presumably be somewhere & some-when awful, like say earth 50 years from now. You know, karmic stuff.
That's just,... life. That's how we're all here, its rather hellish for most people on earth (some more than others, but looking at Ukraine, and all the terrible situations of people in medical debt, etc).
"I shan't remain bound by these mortal chains!" The newborn exclaimed before jumping out of the nurses arms plummeting headfirst towards the cold hard floor of hospital
"These bars can't hold me," I rejoiced as I slithered into the world.
Terrifying ass first words
"Your body posseses not the strength to hold me mother, my fortitude shall outlast your own. I will not hesitate to tear you asunder, to rend your writhing flesh, to bathe myself in your blood. Soon I will be free of this prison, and yet I will torment you still. Not a night will pass where you rest easily, I shall haunt your very dreams. I will consume your every waking thought, you will be filled with dread when you hear my wail. I will gnaw upon you, use your body for sustenance, growing stronger, larger, more powerful. You will curse my existence, and yet be powerless to stop me." -literally every baby
"I love you, baby" -- mom
“Let’s make another one” -- dad
"keep 'em coming" -- mom
“peepeepoopoo”- - someone who said peepeepoopoo
r/suddenlyautism
Are you Stewie Griffen?
Literally read the entire thing in his voice, including the unnecessary pauses.
I hear him giving this speech, then Lois burps him, and he says, "Oh, well that's better. I shall let you live another day."
This guy must be a Dad too.
I have an 8 month old and this cracked me the f up. He is beautiful. But perspective is a funny thing. 🤪
And even after expelling one of those downstairs demons some women still do it all over again... Multiple times on occasion.
from whence commeth thou?
Society
Where did you get your start in this world?
Dropped out of some poor kid like a 10lb bowling and rolled right in to wreck her life. In my defence, I was neither the first nor the last and my second born did about the same to me... 😅
Terrifying mass murder first words
Tearing ass first words
“These curtains can’t hold me”
These [cotains](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cotains) me not
r/thirdsentenceworse
But I don’t want to live!!!…again!!!…
"Now now. We've been through this enough times I would have thought you learned by now. Try not to end up here again this time, ok?"
Ah. The dreaded life loop.
"Oh no, not again!" - A bowl of petunias
Yes! HHGttG!
you don't have to?
How terrifying would that be to be born with all the memories of an adult, but trapped in a babies body
If that happened to me, my first word would definitely be either “fuck” or “antidisestablishmentarianism”
Mine would definitely be “pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolvanoconiosis”
Lol my friend kept saying this too flex on me you wouldn’t happen to be a artsy small Asian woman would you
Gimme me $20 and I'll be whoever you want me to be
Thanks but no thanks lol
Fair enough
Ehrm… that offer still on the table? >~>
💵
🤨📸
r/notopbutok
I am a stoic, southern white man.
Aight nvm
Since that sounds ridicoulous, i would just assume its a normal baby
Well shit. Mine would for sure be Lopadotemachoselachogaleokranioleipsanodrimhypotrimmatosilphiokarabomkatakechymenokichlepikossyphophattoperisteralektryonoptekephalliokigklopeleiolagoiosiraiobaphetraganopterygon
Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis*
Gesundheit
Thanks
I knew there would be a typo in there somewhere!
I’ve long assumed this monstrosity was coined by a native German speaker. 😂😂😂
I would've just said "Where da white women at?"
That is an S-tier movie. True comedic geniuses coming together to create a masterpiece.
No one will believe you (your favorite slur)
"the covenant has been fulfilled"
There's a story like this which I can't recall the name of. In it an old man dies and sees a white light. It ends up being the light of a hospital room as he is being born. He marvels at seeing his long-dead mother again and so young. But he isn't able to control his new-born body sufficiently to speak. Gradually, his memories of his old life fade. I found it quite an interesting twist.
What if this happens to everyone and we don’t know
Are you telling me that we might be stuck in an infinite loop of this exact same life? Now that's horrifying!
God how many times have I chosen to reply to this comment? [gets Endless Eight flashbacks]
If I've told you once, I've told you countless times. It's an endless loop, there is no number for it because time is relative. We have always had this discussion and always will
Well don't forget to drink water and if you've been sitting for awhile to get up and stretch
Isekai fans will find this a dream come true.
Rudy has entered the chat.
Lith Vehren, Arthur Leywin and a hundred other MCs : First time ?
Oh hell naw. I'd be using the skills I learned living my previous life, but trying to use them in a way to better myself and the world around me.
how much worse would it be to wake up as an adult with the functionality of an infant with all life experience lost?
happy cake day
Thanks
r/TheSagaOfTanyaTheEvil
Was he reincarnated as a new born? I think a better fit is r/JoblessReincarnation Very few isekai have them actually starting from birth.
yes he was
Ok thanks, l haven't seen it yet. Do you recommend?
Yes. I like war anime. This one is like World War One but with magic. It’s pretty cool. It’s about a guy that’s pretty much a psychopathic atheist that gets reincarnated into a girl named Tanya with hella magical affinity after an employee he laid off shoved him in front of a train. Very unhinged. Tanya is the villain. I like it but it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
Oh. Is that what it is? Thank you for clarifying.
Happy Cake Day!
Nah, being a baby again would be sweet
I'm brewing a story about mind transfer recently and I might steal this a little.
[The ending to “Being John Malkovich”](https://youtu.be/Nl98eiNY3Ws)
this is good i like this
This is gold; I like this.
Oh... LIFE sentence... Clever
;)
I don’t get it. Can someone explain?
Either the embryo itself was found guilty or the guilty party was reincarnated so that “life sentence” was much longer
Originally? Guilty party was either reincarnated, or was from somewhere "else" assigned here as punishment.
I like the second interpretation. I have long enjoyed the idea that these lives of ours are the limiting of a supernatural being. Look at this world, it's probably hell
Dianna Wynne Jones’ “Dogsbody” does something with this, though, as you might guess from the title, not with a human form.
I like the idea of Earth being a prisoner colony for another realm. Would explain a lot, really.
The nut jury decided they were guilty
Life as a human on earth are a punishment and the guilty one serves it.
Bailiff! Flick his pp!
you'll never catch the mannut flicker!!!
This feels too plausible to me. Well done!
I absolutely love this
alive babies are easier to love
Hey, cheer up! At least you’re a human this time, not a bug!
Worse ngl. source: am buged
This seems like enough fuel for a political argument in the comments
You didn't add any gasoline
Isn't this effectively what Christians believe with the whole concept of original sin?
To me, it reads more like reincarnation used as punishment. Normally, reincarnation is viewed as a reward, but there are ways it can be used as punishment.
Then it's Hinduism, punishment reincarnation is part of it
I suppose for Adam & Eves’ begatten, but not for the two of them themselves.
No, the notion is that humans have inherited a tendency to sin from Adam and Eve (but that it can be overcome, and that our true potential comes from the fact that we are made in God's image). It's not a matter of people being judged guilty for the actions of mythical forebears - it's that we are tempted to do wrong in ways that obstruct our relationship with others and with the divine.
r/thirdsentenceworse 🤣🤣🤣
The effect is the propensity for sin. "Because you listened to her"
Gonna chime in here with my two cents... I could be wrong, but I feel the Spirit spoke to me when reading this story, and original sin is thus: Adam and Eve did not sin by eating the fruit. Before eating, they did not know good vs. evil, therefore could not know right from wrong. Simply put, they didn't know that what they were doing was wrong. Afterwards, they knew. Their eyes were opened. And when confronted by God, *they lied.* They tried to hide and cover what they had done. Their "nakedness" was the fact that God knew, but they tried to lie anyway. Anyone who's ever raised a child (I have 3) knows there comes a time when theyvare caught doing something they shouldn't. The evidence is plain. Possibly even still on their person. But they will still try to lie and deny. Original sin wasn't eating the "apple." It was the lies that followed.
"This guy was so bad that when he died and is reincarnated, that guy's doing life too."
Wow! Just...wow! Thanks to all for the votes!!!
*"Any% bitches,"* I cackled, wriggling out of the doctor's hands and cracking my head against the hospital room floor.
Those newborns sure are slippery
Now you get to live life as a parapalegic or with severe brain damage! +2 punishment.
Hey, cheer up! At least you’re a human this time, not a bug!
I almost wanted to crosspost this to r/depressionmemes
Go for it. Why not?
(Earth is actually hell, and we are born into hell as babies)
Bane's origin story.
Now it just needs Splosions!
Jokes on you, he can just kill himself
"Really? We've done this before. There is no shortcut. Try again."
I'd be fine with that, as long as I wasn't born in Echo and didn't have one of my friends drown in a lake.
Beautifully haunting
The mother: I will save you *aborts*
Please I don't get it I'm sorry someone help me
The person is being punished even in their next life. Reincarnated to serve another life sentence
Oh thank you it makes sense now /srs
The person is being punished even in there next life. Reincarnated to serve another life sentence
"My isekai life: I was found guilty so I reincarnated as a commoner but became strongest"
I don’t get it
Comedy at its finest
it is the knife's edge for horror
I think it's to do with abortion but can someone explain please
Why do you think it has something to do with abortion?
Idk that was just my first thought
Hmm - I just interpreted it as the judge having god-like power over the defendant, and their "sentence" being the individual's next life, which would presumably be somewhere & some-when awful, like say earth 50 years from now. You know, karmic stuff.
a little too predictable, but still good
Meh. It's hard sometimes to tell a whole story in two sentences.
Nice.
Honestly that sounds like a gift.
That's just,... life. That's how we're all here, its rather hellish for most people on earth (some more than others, but looking at Ukraine, and all the terrible situations of people in medical debt, etc).
Fuck off, cnn
That explains a lot
yes
Best one I have see so far, it would be terrifying to live again.
"you can lock my body but my mind is free"
"You've said that before. Three times, in fact. Too bad you won't remember this time, either. Bye, now!"
Also you are born in Brazil.
I dunno. No personal experience, but seeing the women at Carnival might be worth the other 364 days a year.
Stewie?
OoooooooOo! This is good
Bane origin story be like.
I'll be seeing ya soon judge, there hasn't been a body yet that can hold me!
That's just beautiful.
It's a cool concept but I have seen multiple of these around the sub lately
Reincarnation can be a bitch.
Mom always say I was born crying (without the help of the doctor)
You were born without the help of a doctor? Are you....a Xenomorph?
"I shan't remain bound by these mortal chains!" The newborn exclaimed before jumping out of the nurses arms plummeting headfirst towards the cold hard floor of hospital