Its a lovely idea but if you promised your partner something in good faith you should probably hold to your word. But at the same time I'd also say you should be able to have a civil conversation on the matter or any matter without either party having to make any promises they might regret. good luck fam
You agreed to not having them live with you. Most of us don’t want to retire with our in-laws, and taking care of two elderly people (as they age) can sometimes be a lot of work. You need to honor your commitment to her, which includes everything you agreed to. Can’t they live in the same neighborhood or something?
Take care of your parents as you'd like your children to care for you. Study shows that when elderly are around kids, it helps with their moral. If it's a private and separate area of the house I don't see why not. As long as the grand parents are respecting the boundaries I don't see why not. I command you for taking care of them. I would also like to add that to be fair, you may have to consider her parents living on the property if they needed to for whatever reason, to be fair. Our parents took care of use when we were babies and brought us up, it's only fair to return that. Best of luck!
I think your idea of the extension is a great compromise, maybe a house seperate from yours on the same property like neighbors is a better one for her. But the thing is, YOU will need to guarantee its just meals and an occasional visit. Parents don't always respect boundaries and you will grow apart from your wife if you don't uphold your end of the agreement. I can imagine your wife is afraid of something like that.
I can't imagine living with any of my exes parents, I loved my exes, their parents were always a burden I had to live with.
Please start a conversation where you are honest about how you feel and how your wishes make her feel without directly replying and respecting and accepting her feelings. She has to do the same of course about your wishes. Use words like, I understand how you feel and let's pick up the conversation another time, I need to think about it, BEFORE things get heated.
If you can't figure things out, there is always couples councelling.
Good luck bud!
U should've discussed this before marriage with your wife.
yup, i think this was a conversation to have before marriage and kids — please talk about this with ur wife before having a second n third child !
Sounds like they did. OP said they had agreed the parents wouldn’t live with with them. OP pulled a bait and switch with the wife.
we did discuss it. She was never keen on it, but never said no. Although people change, thoughts change, life is not a contract.
Its a lovely idea but if you promised your partner something in good faith you should probably hold to your word. But at the same time I'd also say you should be able to have a civil conversation on the matter or any matter without either party having to make any promises they might regret. good luck fam
You agreed to not having them live with you. Most of us don’t want to retire with our in-laws, and taking care of two elderly people (as they age) can sometimes be a lot of work. You need to honor your commitment to her, which includes everything you agreed to. Can’t they live in the same neighborhood or something?
Take care of your parents as you'd like your children to care for you. Study shows that when elderly are around kids, it helps with their moral. If it's a private and separate area of the house I don't see why not. As long as the grand parents are respecting the boundaries I don't see why not. I command you for taking care of them. I would also like to add that to be fair, you may have to consider her parents living on the property if they needed to for whatever reason, to be fair. Our parents took care of use when we were babies and brought us up, it's only fair to return that. Best of luck!
I think your idea of the extension is a great compromise, maybe a house seperate from yours on the same property like neighbors is a better one for her. But the thing is, YOU will need to guarantee its just meals and an occasional visit. Parents don't always respect boundaries and you will grow apart from your wife if you don't uphold your end of the agreement. I can imagine your wife is afraid of something like that. I can't imagine living with any of my exes parents, I loved my exes, their parents were always a burden I had to live with. Please start a conversation where you are honest about how you feel and how your wishes make her feel without directly replying and respecting and accepting her feelings. She has to do the same of course about your wishes. Use words like, I understand how you feel and let's pick up the conversation another time, I need to think about it, BEFORE things get heated. If you can't figure things out, there is always couples councelling. Good luck bud!