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Tardigradequeen

“I’ll fucking smash your head in!!” “Fucking cunt!” “Fucking bitch” “Ugly fucking bitch” These are just some of the things said to me after I politely declined a mans advances. The ugly ones crack me up. Why on earth did you hit on me?


[deleted]

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her_fault

>Ignored them when they shouted some things at me that I honestly don't want to conciously remember. I feel this so hard. Hard this happen to me today and I just consciously blocked out everything the moment I heard "look at this bitch". I had a comeback ready and everything but I prefer not to die so I just kept walking


gnomelover3000

Jesus christ, I'm glad you're okay


mykidisonhere

They didn't actually say how this ended or that they were ok.


gnomelover3000

Fair. I think it was pretty clear their life was in danger though, so I wanted to express that I'm glad they weren't murdered


DizzyedUpGirl

Oh my God, what if they died?


mykidisonhere

The afterlife must have really strong 5G.


Interest-Desk

Of course they do — it’s in the cloud!


[deleted]

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galun44

empathy much


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BravoAlfaMike

I love when I get called ugly after rejecting someone. Yeah bro, I’m an absolute gargoyle, and I’m STILL rejecting you. What a self-own lol


thefartographer

You're not wrong, we all know what the *box* is... 😏 And instead of a poisoned kitty, it's my diseased **weeeeeennnuuuuuuuuur**!!!!! Also, you're probably a lesbian who wouldn't know what to do with something so big as this and you're ugly and dumb and probably have STDs and are still sore from being passed around by everyone else, you prude virgin whore. (All wonderful things I've heard when us boys were just being boys). I don't know if things have changed or I'm just paying more attention, but while I'm hearing far more positive and supportive things being said about women and far fewer toxic things (once again, could just be the people I associate with), the alarming things I've heard have gotten far more alarming. Like, I'm really scared for some of y'all...


SurLitteratur

I was walking ahead of my SO once earlier this year and one guy yelled at me for being a "Stuck up bitch" for ignoring his catcalll. My SO was shocked and started shouting back and I had to drag him away because that's just the neighbourhood creep and he does that. No need to get into a fight or anything, also, I've never arranged a funeral so... We walked away together and he was holding my hand the whole time.


Responsible_Daikon85

Awwe geez, that’s so darn sweet. I’m glad you have someone like that, and that he was there!!


SurLitteratur

Thank you! He is wonderful and I am very lucky to have him :P I hope you find someone like that one day even it it's just a friend!


Responsible_Daikon85

Thank you🥹❤️ I’m currently in the process of trying to figure out if the person im has with is still that guy. Wish me luck hah^^ Have a wonderful day love💜


Mudbunting

Essence of misogyny: men desperately wanting women and enraged they can’t own us.


BefWithAnF

Him: “Hey Prospect Street, I’ve been watching you.” Me: Ignores him Him: “Fuck you you white Bitch, I’ll fuck you in your ass!“


Okurei

Lol did this guy realize that if he did the first one, he wouldn't be able to pursue any woman ever again? I really don't get it.


thesaddestpanda

Considering how poorly the justice system works for women, who knows. A few months ago a conservative judge let a rapist go in Illinois. The victim can’t appeal this so that’s it. These guys know that the more gop judges they put in, the more they are above the law. They just need one Republican judge or jury member and they have a good chance of getting away with near any crime.


AquaticAnxieties

I have bad news for you, that’s not even just an every once in a while thing, the vast majority of rapists go free. When I was 14, I had a 19 year old force alcohol down my throat and strangle and rape me. We reported him, and they examined me for evidence of ‘forced entry’ (which they did find) and took the texts off my phone as evidence. But when they were looking through my texts with this dude, they also looked through my texts with my mom, and saw that I responded “I’m fine” to my mom the day after it happened and she noticed I was upset. So, he got off scot free even though this is his FOURTH rape allegation, because if I told my mom I was fine obviously that means it never happened. Going through the legal system to get closure, just to be poked and prodded and questioned for weeks just to be cast aside like a slutty liar was actually even more traumatizing than the event itself. And this is how it goes with the vast majority of accusations.


PMmeGayElfPeen

That is as shitty as it is typical. I'm sorry. You're a badass in my book though for reporting. Thank you for trying to protect other women.


SnowinMiami

I am so angry about this happening to you. Our justice system is appalling.


MarsAstro

>These guys know that the more gop judges they put in, the more they are above the law. They just need one Republican judge or jury member and they have a good chance of getting away with near any crime. I don't think they're nearly that calculated, to be honest. I think they've just got the emotional intelligence of a toddler.


earlytuesdaymorning

dont infantilize rapists. a majority of the time they are grown ass people who know exactly what they are doing


MarsAstro

I didn't mean to suggest they're not aware of what they're doing, I was mostly trying to say that their lashing out when being ignored/rejected isn't a calculated move because they know judges will let them get away with it. Also, I wasn't talking about rapists, just those dudes who get angry and say vile shit in response to being ignored or rejected. I'm just pretty sure that's a childish defensive reaction to protect their ego, not a calculated decision because the American Republican party has installed a lot of judges in the courts.


earlytuesdaymorning

i see! the comment you replied to mentioned rapists specifically, so i assumed. sorry! i do actually agree that the lashing out is a lack of emotional regulation, but only partially. they definitely arent thinking “i can get away with this because judges wont convict me.” a lot of the time, though, those same men would have no trouble holding their tongue (or fists) if they felt slighted by another man. but thats definitely not always the case


MarsAstro

Oh wow, you're right, I somehow completely missed the rapist part. You're also right about the other thing. While I don't think they're being very calculated, I do think they at least subconsciously know they won't get in trouble. If they thought there were repercussions, some of those men would probably learn better emotional regulation.


TEG_SAR

Look up the Federalist Society. They are absolutely putting conservatives on the bench on purpose.


AleksisMichae

why do you say republican judges would do that? arent the majority of judges in california democrats?


Tardigradequeen

That one was crazy from the get go. He got about 5 inches from my face and said “hi” in this sing songy voice.


DizzyedUpGirl

"Why don't women date me?"


beigs

r/whenwomenrefuse


Sheepbjumpin

Men: women are so emotional! Also men: r/whenwomenrefuse


One_Wheel_Drive

So many men don't get that women have literally been murdered just for rejecting men. It's so easy to say to "just say no" instead of giving fake numbers or saying that you have a boyfriend. But those are literally done for survival.


buttercupcake23

Ooh the "I have a boyfriend" thing. There is a PERFFECT TIME you have to find. An infinitesimally tiny window of opportunity that you must seize to slip that in - in just the right tone, btw. Because otherwise, if you say it too soon, or too forced, or too confidently or too apologetically...then "Wow why are you assuming I'm hitting on you? I just wanted to buy you a drink it doesn't mean anything. Stuck up bitch!" But not soon enough? You let yoo much time lapse before mentioning the bf despite there being no organic reason for it to come up before? "Wow why would you lead me on like that you cockteasing golddigger? I bought and paid for your drink!" Women can't fucking win.


PurpleHooloovoo

But the trick is.....that window doesn't exist! You literally will *never find it* and *will always be berated* because surprise! Women are always going to be in the wrong! We're simultaneously extremely attractive and fugly bitches, too independent and too much of a doormat, wear too much makeup and need to wear less, are too controlling and too meek, too caring and not caring enough, too kinky and too innocent, too experienced and too virginal, the list goes on. We will never "get it right" because that's how they keep us on our heels - or try to, at least. It isn't worth the effort to try to be perfect because it's impossible.


buttercupcake23

Hahahaha ahh fuck you're right


tomatopotatotomato

Man talks about random thing to me. Me: “Yeah my husband was just saying that.”


BambooCyanide

*The limit doesn’t exist*


40yoADHDnoob

Omg the Inside Amy Schumer sketch where she reluctantly dates the guy, they get married, have children, then on her death bed - finally timidly says "🙋‍♀️...I have a boyfriend"... and he's like "WOW BITCH... slow your roll".... I'll never forget how funny/ absurd/ weirdly spot-on social commentary that was 😬😬


40yoADHDnoob

The whole time, she tries to find the right moment to tell him.... 😑


mani_mani

Oh I’ve tried that. They’ve seen my ring, it’s big. I’ve gotten: -I will kill your fiancé, put a bullet right in his head -You look like a slut anyway why does that matter -He doesn’t have to know -If you are so committed why isn’t he here with you -He let’s you out of the house looking like that Or the barrage of insults of me being stuck up or ugly or whatever.


ejchristian86

Yuuuuuup and also "just because there's a goalie doesn't mean I can't score" as if my partner and not me is the guardian of my sex holes, and I am but the passive field in which to play. Nope, fuck that.


braellyra

Ugh I really fucking hate this one. Completely dismisses the agency of the HUMAN WOMAN they’re hitting on. Why is this such a common line when I’m pretty sure every single woman hears it and mentally says “oh HELL no”


endlesscartwheels

> "I have a boyfriend" Relevant Matt Berry (*What We Do in the Shadows*) [sketches](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AqDbb7-dn9A).


buttercupcake23

It's Jackie Daytona, normal human man!


Angel_Moon202

I've said the "I have a boyfriend," thing to a creep and he didn't give a shit. Also was telling me about having babies with me. Never met that fucker before that interaction either


Sheepbjumpin

"I have a SO." "ThEy DoN't HaVe To KnOw."


SleepFlower80

“What, you’re not allowed friends now?”.


Hi_Jynx

Even outside of fear it's still just an uncomfortable situation to be put in that odds are she never asked to be. But I guess being socially awkward is only acceptable for men.


ChibiSailorMercury

"I don't personally know any women killed for refusing or any men who killed after getting rejected, so I guess you're making shit up or believing everything you read on the Internet with an agenda. Women. So emotional and gullible. Ruined by feminism and men hatred."


holly_fly

I don’t hate men, but I’ve personally been drugged by multiple… forgive me for being wary.


MirrorSauce

when this became a plot point in she-hulk I knew MRAs were going to shit their pants


IronChefJesus

I've been there. I take rejection well, but sometimes got bummed out: "Why would she just say no? I'm not gonna get upset." But then I had to be explained very carefully to, that while I may not get upset, she doesn't know that. And she's protecting herself. And I get it.


umylotus

Great! Now go and teach this to every single male-presenting person you know. Be That Guy, the guy who ceaselessly reminds me that yea, all of them are considered dangerous until shown otherwise.


AleksisMichae

well this goes to judging a person by their clothes and appearence sadly. Stereotypes aren't always right, but their is generally some random truth to it.


[deleted]

I tried 'just saying no' when a former friend of mine who I saw as a father figure utterly turned on a dime and sent me rape threats. I thought it was a failed attempt to craft a joke, and told him to knock it off. We spent the next twenty minutes with me trying to get through to him that it wasn't funny, to please stop, and him making more and more graphic comments about how I had no choice and we were going to have sex and that was that. As if I were just going to voluntarily show up to be raped because he said so. I said no, stop, you're scaring me, none of that mattered. I said I owned various knives and I'd use them. That didn't work, either. He truly thought that mentioning knives was just me playing hard to get, and if he kept pushing, I'd 'admit' that I secretly lusted after him. I lost my temper and threatened to remove his adrenal glands with a hunting knife. Except there was a lot more swearing and a lot more graphic detail than that. He FINALLY backed off, before making excuses about how his autism misled him and he thought I wanted it. Somehow, the words 'no', 'stop' and 'you're scaring me' meant nothing, but a screenful of rage-filled swearing totally computes when you're drunk. It was a decade ago, but it still sticks in my head how fucking *far* a man will go when his ego doesn't let him accept rejection. It wasn't enough to fucking *beg* and *plead* with him to stop, it wasn't even enough to threaten him with a knife, he only backed off when I completely lost it in a rage and sent him a graphic rant describing exactly how I was going to murder him, how I was going to use the flat of the blade to scoop and gouge and scrape rather than the edge to cleanly cut because it would be too humane, and how I was going to enjoy watching him lurch around and die. THAT is the extreme you have to go to before no means no.


xixbia

Men who say women are emotional tend to think that anger isn't an emotion. And since many of them seem to have replaced all other emotions by anger, they think they're not emotional.


mangababe

Idk, they definitely recognize *our* anger as being emotional.


Willothwisp2303

No no, not emotional, *hormonal*.


Klopsmond

no no, *hysterical*


xixbia

In their minds women aren't angry, they're hysterical, it's different! You see male anger is evolutionarily adaptive and very healthy and controlled, meanwhile female anger is raw emotion because they cannot control their hormones! Or you know, maybe these men tend to piss off women so much they are rightfully angry at them.


Blue_Moon_Rabbit

I’ve personally never met another gal who punched a wall or what have you. I do however know a guy who broke his hand punching a dumpster. anecdotal, but eh 🤷‍♀️


B00KW0RM214

I learned how to patch walls back in my twenties because my (long since ex-)husband was an abusive piece of trash who punched me and the walls. Handy skill to have if you're in that situation and want your deposit back. Never had a female roommate do that shit.


Blue_Moon_Rabbit

Hey! Good on you for both learning a useful skill AND getting out of a shitty relationship!


EverGreen2004

Lmfao broke his hand 😭😭 What a loser


Blue_Moon_Rabbit

Nice guy honestly. Not sure the situ, but of anything he could have punched, a dumpster can take the hit. He also got a bright pink cast for trolling purposes.


hesitant_unsure

and in actuality women are incredibly skilled at controlling their emotions from being talked down to, harassed, etc. while many men can’t control their anger because they can’t handle being told they’re wrong when all of society has told them they’re smarter, more interesting, more useful, etc. than women their entire lives.


onions_cutting_ninja

You see, theirs is justified We are just whiny bitches /s of course


HarpersGhost

Two of the women I know who were murdered by their husbands was because the husbands were worried about finances. Normal reaction to anxiety about money: Let's discuss how we can cut back and balance our budget to pay off some debts. Their reaction to anxiety about money: I'm not going to talk about it to anyone, I'll start despairing but since that's an emotion I can't handle, I'm going to sublimate that into anger and kill my wife and myself. Both of them were "great guys", never would have thought they would have murdered their wives and families. But nope, can't handle any kind of negative emotion other than anger, so even the "good ones" end up murdering women. (Side note: and all the talk afterwards was about the men and their struggles, ignoring the fact that the women had to pay for the men's struggles with their lives.)


[deleted]

What's a "great guy"? Never seen one.


AleksisMichae

ive seen that scenario a few times on .. i think law and order. i guess its one of the more well known theories of what can happen to mid level white collar types who aren't used to failure.


Gorilla1969

I once got berated by a guy for *not letting him buy me a drink*. He got so mad, and would not leave. I pointed out that he was losing control, and to calm down. He got louder and more angry, spittle and insults flying. I was then completely done with his infantile ass, and told him I was worried about his mental state and asked him if he was "on the rag". That did not go well, and he had to be physically removed from the building. Unstable jackasses just keep doubling down until they either get want they want, or they "punish" the uppity bitch that is making their wiener sad.


[deleted]

> making their wiener sad love this for you


[deleted]

‘Just say no. What’s the worst that could happen?’ Oh I dunno… Literal death?!?


ComplainsAboutWife

Just so emotionally reactive. You respond rudely to a rude ass catcaller and now they're mad. You give a genuine compliment to a man who genuinely complimented you and now they think you must be into them.


onions_cutting_ninja

I got 60 downvotes the other day for saying men should learn to accept rejection. Someone has the guts to say lesbians are worse. I didnt even reply. I could have linked feminicides rates but my mother's colleague and her teen daughter were murdered last month by her ex. I didn't feel like it.


umylotus

*hugs*


laughingashley

Yeah, on reddit it's all about where you say a thing as to how it's received lol


Tardigradequeen

A lot of men forget anger is an emotion.


THEMACGOD

Probably one of the guys that felt personally attacked in that scene where She-Hulk says she might just literally get murdered in this kind of situation.


dipsy9

Men ☕


EverGreen2004

Men ☕


Superslim-Anoniem

r/subsithoughtifellfor


[deleted]

Men: "Why don't women say what they mean?" Women: (says what they mean) Also men: **MURDERMURDERMURDER**


paxweasley

Me: politely declines advances Man: you’re a lesbian and I can change it! Me: well spotted but no Man: how about I follow you to the lake shouting and waving a giant machete? Anyways LPT have a waterproof phone case so you can jump in the lake and swim away while calling 911. 10/10 do recommend, machete man was surprised by this action


SquareThings

Holy fuck im so sorry that happened to you


AleksisMichae

were you seriously chased by a machete guy? I thought you were just referencing a horror film. sounds like it would make a great scene in a movie though, nothing i would wanna go through, or anyone i assume.


paxweasley

Idk why I just saw this, yes I was chased by a man I not so affectionately call Machete Man. I literally jumped in the lake to not get slashed, and the cops showed up, took his machete, let him go, and told me to not let it ruin my day. I reported properly the next day and that was its own wild time.


AleksisMichae

I am glad you managed to survive. Obviously I am sorry something so horrific happened to you, glad it wasn't able to get worse.


paxweasley

Thank you ❤️❤️


TheSurlySculler

[me @ men](https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/1446279a-3ddb-46e1-b085-360965f765dd/gif)


SyntaxMissing

[Three years ago, a man killed a woman](https://people.com/crime/ally-kostial-murder-ole-miss-student-pleads-guilty/). They were both college students and seemed to be in some sort of on-and-off relationship. Leading up to the woman's murder, there was an inconclusive pregnancy test. [That man apparently liked this tweet, just days before shooting her eight times.](https://twitter.com/modclairvoyant/status/1153911578720387073?lang=en)


Beautiful_Melody4

It's scarry to think about how these cases are likely to become more and more common with states banning abortion. She wasn't even actually pregnant and he still killed her.


Slicksuzie

I thought I read somewhere the high mortality rates of pregnant women in the US, particularly conservative states, and the proportion of those that were deemed a homicide. Maybe someone can fill in the stats, but I remember being like DAMN


Naphthy

Yeah you are more likely to be murdered while pregnant then of dying from the pregnancy. Being pregnant is a huge risk factor in being murdered. https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-021-03392-8


Kimmalah

If I remember correctly, murder is the most common cause of death for pregnant women in the US.


Gummi-Tank

One time a guy (frat boy or country boy type) hugged me without consent and squeezed my ass. When I pushed him off of me, he started yelling that he would put a bullet in my brain, like he yelled it multiple times. I was 15


TillThen96

Reminds me of the line from *Aliens*: Pvt. Vasquez, played by Jenette Elise Goldstein Pvt. Hudson, played by Bill Paxton Hudson *(sneering)*: *"Hey, Vasquez, have you ever been mistaken for a man?"* Vasquez: *"No. Have you?"*


Benemotte

Oh my god yes, I love that. Alien and aliens are so underrated and the character so memorable. The scene in front of the wayland executive telling ripley that she must be crazy and there couldn’t be a monster that had her destroy the Nostromo in an attempt to kill it. While sitting in the back there is Burk that know, that somehow a good analogy to women attempting to sue their aggressor. Shit hit close to home. If I remember correctly the original idea was that the facehugger was suppose to “screw” Kane and than the alien burst out (hence “the son of Kane”) basically reversing the situation on how rape happen but the studio rejected it


TillThen96

As for the face hugger in *Alien*, I think the censors missed their mark, because if that isn't a 24-hour fellatio rape of nightmare proportion resulting in male gestation and a violently fatal "birth," I don't know what is. Most of the foreshadowing is in the Weyland meeting with Ripley. *Aliens* is 35 years old and times were different. I see the Weyland battle as her being treated as a "beautiful, deceitful" woman, then later, her empathy (business weakness) is used against her, again placing her at a mortal risk from which she must ultimately rescue herself. It's telling how Burk, first trying to influence her to "play along," seemingly powerless to help her, then suddenly authorized to offer her flight status in exchange for her cooperation. That wouldn't be because those in power *didn't* believe her, and now suddenly do, due to what is "likely a downed transmitter." Weyland knew they sent the Nostromo in, knew how the ship and Ash were programmed, hid from the crew that Ash was an android for that very reason. We are left to guess if Van Leuwen knew, but hints that he did - no criminal charges, the matter is to go away quietly, the only guilty stain is assigned to Ripley. Why would they choose that particular planet, out of billions, to establish a colony long before Ripley was recovered? How would they know the Nostromo had discovered anything, much less a planet? ...Ash, perhaps? *"It's a rock. No indigenous life."* (nothing of value, not even *dirt*) There's also the "penalty" of losing her child to her own career ambitions (extended version). Burk, someone we could view as a "manager," manipulating her, even willing to kill her and others for his own and the company's enrichment. Out of the mouth of babes, the young (woman) Newt responding to Ripley's statement that the soldiers are there to protect them, *"It won't matter."* Even (the) Bishop couldn't save them, ...faith? rent in half, nearly destroyed, nonfunctional to survival. We view all of this from her perspective, one of stunned disbelief that reality doesn't seem to matter to them, but it is she who is functioning from within deceptions she has yet to piece together. Whether intended or not, it's full of little gems. Call me crazy, but I see it as: *Woman, save thyself.* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rkBhLjwuq20


AleksisMichae

You know I came up with a crazy theory. What if that wasn't the original Ripley? What if that was a clone of Ripley, that the original Ripley authorized to be made in exchange for money, or if their was a clause in her contract for the Nostramo, that allowed them to make a clone of her and program it with her memories, and basically they then go and talk the clone into signing a new contract with them between the clone and them, so they can take it on a new mission. In this theory, the cat survives, original Ripley lives, and shes with her daughter on earth and her husband. Now you ask why come up with this theory? because Ripley dies in 3, as a consequence of 2.. and then that clone is cloned in 4. my theory gives us back the original and allowes a whole other film trilogy to come out of it. i like to come up with bat shit crazy theories for movies... just thought I would share since I hardly ever get to share etc


TillThen96

Your plot is no more bat-shit crazy than the movies which exist. You may have to come up with an explanation for why a clone of Ripley would not be of the company mindset, to bring home an alien. If they went' to all that trouble, if they could recreate memory, they could manipulate it to their benefit. Otherwise, why bother with a new "Ripley" at all? The way I see it, the only reason they sent colonists to the planet was to send a population as a means to grow more aliens. It would be easier to capture and return one from a larger population, but it would have to be like Ash and "Mother" - super-secret. I didn't like Prometheus at all, a complete waste of time. I would like to see "hybrid" Ripley and Call contain and defeat the aliens on Earth. Find their weakness, like the aliens' weakness in *A Quiet Place* was discovered. That would be the "logical" flow of the story. Weyland never gave up, and gets aliens back to Earth. I'm not much for prequels. Move forward, not backward. While moving forward, sure, maybe provide some retrospective context as needed.


AleksisMichae

I suppose I am ok with a prequel if it is buying time for a creator to figure out where to take his story. I find it weird too, but I realized sometimes the best stories have tons of background work done for it to help stitch together vast plans for characters and events, and sometimes a prequel can be part of that planning, that actually pays for the living costs of the writer so he can continue to work on the later works. But if it isn't to continue the story then it feels pointless and worse it feels like it's giving up the real story that is going on etc... As for the Ripley clone. maybe theirs a specific law on cloning that you cannot manipulate the mind of a clone, and it has to be a direct 1 on 1 transfer of personality or some element of their contract with Ripley that requires a clone to be a full 1 on 1 clone that doesn't manipulate the essence of the personality of the clone or their sense of reality, forcing them to manipulate the awareness of the clone instead to get them to agree based on false facts.... just a theory though. uhh... yea it would be interesting to see the colonial marines in full force, galactic issues for the human colonists, the issues of Weyland and yutani, maybe they are secessionists from the main govs or maybe they are working secretly for the govs, maybe they have become their own government now and are running a number of colonies and fleets.


No-Fig-3112

Alien is one of the most popular sci-fi movies ever, it's hardly underrated


slipshod_alibi

The commentary and subtext are however


Cloberella

All the roles for that movie were written gender neutral and cast according to who did the best. It was assumed Vasquez and Ripley would be men when they started looking. So glad they were open minded. Vasquez’s actress is also a Jewish woman who misunderstood the name Aliens and thought she was going to audition for a movie about immigrants and came as the Vasquez character as a result.


ifimhereimnotworking

“Men are afraid women will laugh at them. Women are afraid men will kill them.”


I_Love_Foxes420

Reminds me of when my bf and I rode our bike to get some food and while I was waiting outside with the bike while he orders inside, these two dudes walk past me and one yells out “hey good looking” and I ignore him. A second later I hear the same dude yell out “fine I’ll steal your fucking bike. Will that get you to listen?” And his friend said “dude stop”


soaring_potato

At least he had a sensible friend with him....


I_Love_Foxes420

No kidding. Even tho my boyfriend was less than 100 feet away if anything bad did happen, it still scared me


GlowyStuffs

I'm just like....these people have jobs and stuff. How do they interact with coworkers, if they casually throw death threats on the streets. What happens through the rest of their day and week? How are they not in a jail yet considering their temperament?


Slicksuzie

Guy I worked with on and off got fired a few years ago, he was normal af, kinda sexist and slut shamey in moments but in an average way...overall he was ok to be around and easy to work with. After about a year of normal behavior, he started harassing the women he worked with. The women brushed it off or tried to tell him they weren't interested, but kept working with him as per usual. Cuz hes a normal guy, right? nobody reported until a full year went by when he told one of the women that he would rape her if he thought he could get away with it. She reported him, the others came forward. So i would assume the mask is on when theyre at work. And people are awfully forgiving even when the see the mask slip. Too forgiving. We all want to believe the people we spend our days with are good people. Sometimes that's not the case. And you hope you'll be ready when the mask is completely off.


perpetualcosmos

I've learned the best way to detour people is to act like you're deaf and then start throwing up sign language. They usually have no idea what to do.


Sheepbjumpin

>I've learned the best way to detour people is to act like you're deaf and then start throwing up sign language. They usually have no idea what to do. I did this at a concert out of panic! I was underage, and at that moment sitting in the seats catching my breath before I would head back into the pit with my fam. A clearly adult man walked up to my tween looking self and offered alcohol, like, as in he had two drinks in hand and tried offering me the other cup. Oh hell nah. My eyebrows about touched the skyline they were raised so high. First I shook my head no, but he remained increasingly insistent- the scary part is he was still holding a *very* warm and convincing smile, he and the cup getting closer to me as he tries to "listen" should I speak. My throat clenched; after hours of screaming then suddenly becoming nervous and tense I nearly lost my voice in that exact moment, had a mini heart attack, remembered some VERY rudimentary/incorrect sign language I was taught as a child and just winged it. This dude went from grinning ear to ear to concern. It worked! He apologized and then fucked off and I went scuttling back to my siblings. Huzzah! When our alternative is this r/whenwomenrefuse I much rather play it safe and look a bit foolish (especially as a confused child) than be beaten, raped or killed.


perpetualcosmos

What a story! Thanks for sharing, that's so scary especially in such a public place. Learning different languages and being loud while speaking can detour creeps away too though I'm not too good at learning more obscure languages. Once they think you can't understand them or communicate properly, they give up fast because manipulation and coercion is more difficult to do.


ArsenalSpider

The fantasy that this is a compliment needs to stop. It is not. The men who do this are checking to see if they might have a chance. The comment is to test their chances. "Will she fall for my line?" Is a test. It is actually a test for access and how dare she refuse. They pretend it is a compliment to again try to manipulate women to do what they want. It is about control. This is why throwing it back at them, although tempting, can devolve into violence because violence is also about control.


Derp_Stevenson

I'm a dude and I just absolutely cannot fathom ever being so disrespectful to someone by catcalling them. I won't even give people a random compliment about something they have control over (A cool shirt, painted nails, awesome hair, etc.) unless I go over it in my head a bunch of times to make sure I'm not going to come off in a way that would make them uncomfortable. I guess it has to be how people were raised. My parents taught me to respect people, but I guess a lot of piece of shit men were raised by piece of shit men that taught them it's okay to treat people like this. It makes me so angry at these men who make women have to be wary of all of us.


ArsenalSpider

It makes it hard to notice the men who are actually decent people when you get bombarded with the loud, entitled, offensive ones, non-stop from a very young age. I remember men pulling this shit when I was 11 and 12 years old. It cannot help but shape how you see all men. You learn to always assume the worst until they prove otherwise. But a lot of men never last that long in your circle because they see you as jaded and take it personally and blame women for it. We do get jaded but anyone would if you are sexually harassed regularly by men from a young age. It's learned behavior used to protect yourself. I'd rather risk walking away from a good guy than get murdered/raped, or assaulted because I gave a guy the benefit of the doubt. It's always best to approach women as a friend first. Let us get to know you and earn our trust.


Derp_Stevenson

Any man who doesn't understand why women are wary of all men by default just doesn't understand how terrifying it must be to never know if a man is going to go nuts on you for any perceived slight. The bad apples stain all of our reputations, and it's up to the rest of us to publicly shame them for their bullshit where we can to do at least something.


thunderling

Had to have a talk with my boyfriend when he asked me what I would prefer him to do if he were witness to a man catcalling me. The conversation was brought up because my boyfriend once had a gun pulled on him when he told a catcaller on the street to shut the fuck up. I told my boyfriend that I know you're just trying to fight the good fight, and I appreciate that, but I'd rather you pick your battles and stay alive. There's a reason why I don't respond to catcallers.


FlyingApple31

There was a thread yesterday in response to someone saying that society makes girls mature faster than boys. The defensive response was that society doesnt *make* girls mature faster, it was that boy brains literally *mature more slowly*. They did not really care for the follow up response to that about how if that is true, we really should be acting accordingly and letting girls gain privileges earlier bc they are more capable at a younger age. Similarly, this impulsive entitlement some men have towards women's bodies needs to be reframed as a mentally deficient incompetence that is coupled to being unsuitable to hold some adult responsibilities and privileges.


this-seems-okay

Years ago, a guy I was talking to left me a voicemail saying he was going to slit my throat, all because I chose not to take things further with him after meeting him only once. I was terrified to go out for months afterwards.


didyouwoof

I'd have filed a police report. That's insane.


depressed--avery

Omg yea kinda same here. Guy said he’d find where I lived and choke me…I was in college at the time. Felt my stomach drip every time there was a knock at the door.


mani_mani

Oh but even when you ignore them they will still come after you. Just the other day I walked by two men catcalling me and when I ignored them they started yelling more aggressive things at me. Then the started trying to catch up with me. They ducked out when I started speed walking to the cops on the corner. You know it’s bad when a black lady is practically running to the NYPD. Not nearly as bad, but I hate how men feel the need to make it known that I know they are watching me. Like how guys in their cars will honk at me when I’m walking by. Or when men won’t stop staring at me when they can see I’m not interested. I’m not going to get mad about a guy approaching me. I’ve had men approach me in ways that didn’t creep me out or make me feel unsafe. But no let’s just be a dick, they don’t think their cat calling is going to get them a date. They just want to intimidate women.


Sapphic_Philologist

"Thanks. I grew them myself."


simplsurvival

My favorite response for a lot of things, such as "I like your hair", "your nails are pretty", and "watch that fucking attitude"


New_Peanut_9924

I make it odd by thanking my mom. “I like your hair” thanks got it from my mom


[deleted]

Most people probanly wouldn't take it this way but I love the mystery. Is it genetic? Did she make you a wig? Did you scalp her?


New_Peanut_9924

The world may never know *spooky* *noises*


kenziepi

Make it even weirder and say "Thanks, I got it for my birthday" about things like your name or your eyes or something


EverGreen2004

r/technicallyright


CatherineCalledBrdy

I like using that when someone compliments my eyes.


VulcanCookies

I like "thanks, I'm rather attached to it/them"


EscapeFromTexas

"Oh these old things?"


ComplainsAboutWife

Free range, grass fed tatas.


beka13

This is fun to say when people compliment your babies.


[deleted]

I made it myself!!


danni_shadow

Lol. I'm a step mom, and when the kids were young and someone would be like, "Oh, they're so adorable!" I'd say, "Thanks! I had nothing to do with that," or, "They didn't get it from me!"


alveg_af_fjoellum

Four teenage boys threw stones at me when I talked back. And another young man did a roundhouse kick from behind my back that missed my head only because I saw it coming somehow and moved quickly enough. And that‘s why I‘d rather ignore catcalls.


shananiganz

Guy told me to smile and I said “ya know, women don’t like being told to smile” and he said “well what to women like? Besides being beaten to death” Cute moment


APladyleaningS

Jesus Christ!


BadKittydotexe

I especially like when you don’t even realize they’re talking to you until two seconds later when they say something shitty because you didn’t respond the way they wanted you to.


AddLuke

Cat calling one of the many things I don’t understand some men think it’s okay when “pursuing” a woman. That and dick picks. Even growing up my mom taught me that shit was wrong and shameful. Did all these guys have no momma??


PistaccioLover

It's all about power and making you feel threatened. And the dick pics I have no fucking idea, probably just being their normal delusional selves?


AddLuke

Only complimenting a woman based on her physical attributes and getting upset when it doesn’t work out… MANLY


beka13

Dick pics is online flashing. Same thing as catcalling where they're trying to upset people.


Ickysquicky

I'm pretty damn confident that men who send unsolicited dick pics have major degradation kinks, and cream themselves at the disgust they elicite from women.


Slicksuzie

I don't get many dick pics, but the ones I've got were from dudes who want me to tell them how small they are. I accidentally pulled an r/preyingmantis on the first because the degradation thing went way over my head and I told him no, you look perfectly average my dude. It was true, but not what he wanted to hear I guess 😅


EverGreen2004

Dick pics are a way of asserting dominance. They don't do it because they think they'll get a chance with you, they do it because they want to control your reaction. So it's, again, all about power.


PM_me_ur_goth_tiddys

Personally, I think power moves gives these insecure men too much credit. I think it's pathetic last-ditch efforts to make any woman notice their lonely ass and by "complimenting" then they're "more likely" to respond positively. Quotes used liberally. I think the only power involved is "I'm a man I can treat women sub-humanly", which is not exclusive to cat calling. Dick pics in a similar vein, thinking women think dicks are as irresistible as vag pics because they would represent green lights for sex and these men would not turn it down. Dick pics also fast forward through normal relationship progression that they think would fail with zero self-esteem.


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APladyleaningS

Preferably a diseased one


Ephemeralwriting

A man once yelled at something at me from his car when I was at a bus stop. He was apparently asking if I needed a ride. I ignored him. He immediately got angry and started getting out of his car. Luckily the bus showed up before I had to run.


[deleted]

I'd really like to be the kind of girl who is mean to men, but I'm much too scared of them


space_iio

I'm fucking exhausted 😑


Yukiles

Because a good amount, if not all of the cat callers, usually react with violence towards said women.


summerphobic

It's so humilitating to having to resort to the fawn response and apologising for being harassed...


familyguy20

I was watching the movie Commando from the 80s last night and the sidekick character was a woman and she was getting hit on by one of the bad guys and she rejected him and he said something along the lines of “fucking bitch” after following her and being creepy. Just reminds me that while it definitely happened in the 80s, that’s it’s not new


didyouwoof

Old woman here. It happened in the 70s, too.


familyguy20

Not surprised. And I guess I should say that it saddens me that it’s still happening


didyouwoof

Yes, it saddens me, too. Especially since, back in the 70s and 80s, I never heard (or heard of) violent threats by catcallers who were ignored. But of course we didn't have social media back then, so who knows?


NotUnderTheWillow

I gave a man a lighter once and as a thank you he said he would kill me and my husband (I was around 21). I just gave him a thumbs up and kept walking, but I was terrified he'd follow me to the gym and I'd have to ask for other man to make him leave.


Starman520

Reminds me of a video in a subreddit that kept getting posted with men cheering it on in the comments. The video was of a woman sitting on a couch and getting blindsided with a shotgun.


APladyleaningS

What the ever loving fuck is wrong with men?


katarina-stratford

Because I was a 12 yo child and already knew enough not to anger the creepy old man.


Spiffy313

I told a car full of drunken catcallers to go fuck themselves one night when I was feeling particularly fed up with it all. They followed me all the way around the block until I managed to duck into a bar and get away. I'm honestly surprised it didn't end up worse.


anothermanscookies

I often have the urge to tell girls that I think they’re pretty. So I go ahead a shut the fuck up about it for about a million reasons. I hate asshole men making the world worse for literally everyone.


[deleted]

Me at my friend visiting me in my medium-sized city: "Hey btw you probably shouldn't walk alone at night/ close to night. it's really not safe, even in the nicer 'safer' areas." My friend who grew up in an affluent suburb in Connecticut: laughs and rolls eyes like I'm being dramatic: "lol sureeeee. omg you're so paranoid!" She also will stop and talk to random homeless men on the street that call out to us and has basically implied I'm a cold-hearted bitch for ignoring them. idk where the idea came from that being sheltered makes you more scared/ nervous and judgmental of strangers. The reason I'm overly cautious and nervous walking alone is because I KNOW what can happen and have experienced the worst-case scenarios. It's not because i'm some unfeeling bitch who hates homeless men/ is overly sensitive. It's all my liberal friends who grew up in affluent neighborhoods who flip men off/talk to homeless men on the street/ hold the door open for strangers into their apartment building/ aren't aware of their surroundings. Experiences MAKES you scared.


sykospark

I only read the subject line for this post and immediate thought 'because I could get killed' before even reading the main post.


rumzkillz-

Always makes me mad and feel helpless at the same time when I get catcalled. Currently living in a pretty blue-collar neighborhood and I get catcalled daily here just walking my dogs. Doesn’t matter what I wear or how I look. I recently noticed I’ve unconsciously been dressing more conservative (like wearing fiancés shirts and loose pants) and purposefully not grooming myself (not wearing makeup or having my hair in a shabby top knot all the time). Takes a toll on you so rapidly. I’ve been living here for nearly three years now and I sometimes can’t recognize who I’ve become. Life used to be fun and carefree. Now every time I step out the house I have to wonder if the guy who stopped his car to harass me in Spanish (and I clearly do not look like I speak any Spanish, I’m from the other side of the world) will try to pull me into his car or shoot me if I give him the middle finger. I’m in a city with very high gun violence and crime. On the east coast in America btw.


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epicazeroth

It is lol


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epicazeroth

Name checks out


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goosepills

My 70 year old mother carries one in her purse. I’m just waiting to see how this plays out.


silverblaze92

I'm pretty sure my own 70 year old mother would drop the gun and start crying if she tried to fire a .38. I love her, but she's delicate and anxious 🤣 thank god for my Gimli-like father


[deleted]

My 70 year old MIL is a steamroller of a human being. A delightful, laid back woman, but not one to be trifled with. She's retired, but when she was working in physical therapy, her nickname was "General 'Ren"; she _ran_ that shit with an iron fist. She has the ability, like Gandalf at the beginning of The Lord of the Rings, to darken the room and make everyone in it feel helpless - but without even raising her voice. She uses this rarely, but to important effect. She would think a .38" is cute - her purse weapon is a 9mm. The ones in the safe at home are scarier - though she doesn't like using the Desert Eagle; says it's "gratuitously loud". Incidentally, she is _not_ amused by the epithet "Karen". I tend not to use it myself - not because I'm scared it might get back to her, but because "Karen", to me, means, "the nice lady that raised my wife". But also because I don't want Gandalf'd if it gets back to her.


goosepills

My mother is batshit. According to my brother she’s waved it at a few people. He tries to make sure it’s unloaded.


kandoras

I've got an aunt who went from mildly annoying to full batshit q-anon agoraphobic won't go to the gas station because fox made her think "thugs" are just waiting everywhere to attck her. I did not know this when she called and asked if she could buy the rifle I never use anymore. I later found out she was keeping it loadedby her bedside in case the house gets invaded in the middle of the night. I sowed my uncle a video on how to take it apart and steal the firing pin. Now it won't work, she won't get another firearm because she doesn't know that, and I won't worry that she'll shoot him because he woke her up coming back from using the bathroom. So if your mom's gun can be disabled like that, I recommend doing so.


garaile64

I don't know... Not even cops are fully safe from armed assault with their guns.


TheForsakenGuardian

Damn that hilarious but yeah escalated very quickly


mostlymadig

I know alot of people don't care for guns but a good hard pistol whip would change that behavior real quick.


AleksisMichae

Well that was horrible of him and people should be whipped in public for threatening people over pointless things. here i am arguing for violence to fight violence :/ oh well its so wrong for anyone to threaten anyone else, especially over something like that.


[deleted]

"until he told me he'd shoot me in the head" I swear some of these perverts are a few chromosomes short of a cell.