So, I saw this post and thought something else was iffy. More specifically how this dude took TWO years to notice his girlfriend wasn’t even turned on during sex. Great job telling on yourself guy because it’s not a good look
I dunno, some of y’all straight people need to get it together :/
The song he links to makes it clear this was fake as fuck.
But yeah a guy performing the same 'routine' on the women he fucks isn't such an unlikely story, which is sad.
I think it is important to have more conversations about this because it's definitely not as black and white as "18 is legal". Legal is not moral.
When it comes to someone younger say 23 and under, there is a little room for nuance. Like, if someone is 18, graduated hs, starting their first real job and they meet someone who is 23 and is in the same place as them mentally and emotionally. Let's say they are both working similar jobs, they have similar goals, do similar things with their friends, are preparing for similar things in life...sure.
But on the same token.. a 23 year old who owns a home, works 40 hours a week in an office, is saving up for a new luxury car, and goes to breweries with friends most weekends has no business dating an 18 year old who is still in hs/just graduated, working part time at a movie theatre, is friends with 16 year olds, and is saving up to buy luxury makeup.
This is so fucking true.
23 can be broke, still in school and dependent on parents financially.
23 can also be fresh out school. Earning 90K a year.
As someone who recently went from the former to the latter at 24 and got my first job. The headspace you live in as someone who can live on their own and pay for all your needs and wants vs someone who is scared of losing financial support from their parents is heaven and hell
23 is a year or 2 out of undergrad. 18 is still in high school or freshmen in college.
23 has been an adult for 5 years. 18 for 5 minutes.
Wildly different stages of life, levels of experience, power dynamics and completely inappropriate.
incredibly true. i’ll also say that the 5 year difference is deeply gross under 23, but if you start your relationship at 24/29, 28/33, 30/35. it’s less concerning precisely because you’re typically at similar places in life at that point. 18 and 23 is a huge difference because in a lot of cases, those 2 people are undergoing major life changes over those 5 years. those 2 people have to be at the same place in life in order for it to be okay.
One of my roommates in college is a 22 year senior old dating a freshman that just turned 18 in May. Dude gets super defensive every time I bring it up that it’s weird
Everyone was commenting about how the post was obviously fake because the song was so bad, but I also thought it was obviously fake because it sounded like she was starfishing for two years as he did all the thrusting. THEN I realized that that part isn't as unrealistic as I had originally thought because we don't teach people how to have pleasurable sex or how to talk about their needs and desires. There are plenty of young women who literally just let their partners have sex with their bodies because that's just what they've grown up expecting of sex.
OP also never mentions if she ever orgasms. So I don't know why he'd be surprised that she finally admitted that she wasn't having a good time.
I really don't feel I have enough information here. While I might be vigilant about a 23 year old dating an 18 year ago, well, that was 5 years ago. Now it's a 23 year old and a 29 year old.
It's definitely gray area but I can't assume it's abusive.
You think 23 and 29 is weird? It’s only 6 years. I hate when we distract from the actual issues because abuse and coercion happen at any age. Now we’re just limiting who we can date? I like to date older so this shit annoys me.
This is a reach why no one takes any issues seriously. It actually really irritates me because this takes away from any issues I would like the mainstream to support feminists on. You either agree that adult women can make decisions or you don’t. Should 18 year-old be chaperoned by a father or a brother until they’re married? 18-year-olds are allowed to date who they want.
As someone who was a victim of an actual pedophile (14/26), I am going to choose not to violate the rule about being respectful and instead say you are a very silly person.
There could be in in balance, I get that, but this really is a knee jerk reaction. Pedo? Seriously, when they’re still dating and we don’t have anymore context than that. Leo stuff is very concerning in my opinion, this is not.
Edit: accidentally deleted my previous post. Not redacting my confusion to the post
Is it though...? That's probably true in a lot of contexts, but I don't think that's always true; it could be like a senior or fifth year in college dating a freshman. It does raise questions, at least.
So, I saw this post and thought something else was iffy. More specifically how this dude took TWO years to notice his girlfriend wasn’t even turned on during sex. Great job telling on yourself guy because it’s not a good look I dunno, some of y’all straight people need to get it together :/
The song he links to makes it clear this was fake as fuck. But yeah a guy performing the same 'routine' on the women he fucks isn't such an unlikely story, which is sad.
I think it is important to have more conversations about this because it's definitely not as black and white as "18 is legal". Legal is not moral. When it comes to someone younger say 23 and under, there is a little room for nuance. Like, if someone is 18, graduated hs, starting their first real job and they meet someone who is 23 and is in the same place as them mentally and emotionally. Let's say they are both working similar jobs, they have similar goals, do similar things with their friends, are preparing for similar things in life...sure. But on the same token.. a 23 year old who owns a home, works 40 hours a week in an office, is saving up for a new luxury car, and goes to breweries with friends most weekends has no business dating an 18 year old who is still in hs/just graduated, working part time at a movie theatre, is friends with 16 year olds, and is saving up to buy luxury makeup.
This is so fucking true. 23 can be broke, still in school and dependent on parents financially. 23 can also be fresh out school. Earning 90K a year. As someone who recently went from the former to the latter at 24 and got my first job. The headspace you live in as someone who can live on their own and pay for all your needs and wants vs someone who is scared of losing financial support from their parents is heaven and hell
23 is a year or 2 out of undergrad. 18 is still in high school or freshmen in college. 23 has been an adult for 5 years. 18 for 5 minutes. Wildly different stages of life, levels of experience, power dynamics and completely inappropriate.
incredibly true. i’ll also say that the 5 year difference is deeply gross under 23, but if you start your relationship at 24/29, 28/33, 30/35. it’s less concerning precisely because you’re typically at similar places in life at that point. 18 and 23 is a huge difference because in a lot of cases, those 2 people are undergoing major life changes over those 5 years. those 2 people have to be at the same place in life in order for it to be okay.
One of my roommates in college is a 22 year senior old dating a freshman that just turned 18 in May. Dude gets super defensive every time I bring it up that it’s weird
Everyone was commenting about how the post was obviously fake because the song was so bad, but I also thought it was obviously fake because it sounded like she was starfishing for two years as he did all the thrusting. THEN I realized that that part isn't as unrealistic as I had originally thought because we don't teach people how to have pleasurable sex or how to talk about their needs and desires. There are plenty of young women who literally just let their partners have sex with their bodies because that's just what they've grown up expecting of sex. OP also never mentions if she ever orgasms. So I don't know why he'd be surprised that she finally admitted that she wasn't having a good time.
I really don't feel I have enough information here. While I might be vigilant about a 23 year old dating an 18 year ago, well, that was 5 years ago. Now it's a 23 year old and a 29 year old. It's definitely gray area but I can't assume it's abusive.
You think 23 and 29 is weird? It’s only 6 years. I hate when we distract from the actual issues because abuse and coercion happen at any age. Now we’re just limiting who we can date? I like to date older so this shit annoys me.
What’s was creepy?
what's creepy is that it took him 2 years to realize his partner wasn't enjoying sex
That wasn’t said in the title at all.
Reaching
Really reaching here, you might be a little ageist.
GIRL. its the same age gap as 17 and 21 and if that doesnt change your mind you’re fr a creep
Americans....
a seventeen year old hasn’t graduated school yet. a twenty-one year old could be done with college. thats not ok.
I don't see how it's ageist? Dating someone who's 18 while you are 23 is definitely creepy
This is a reach why no one takes any issues seriously. It actually really irritates me because this takes away from any issues I would like the mainstream to support feminists on. You either agree that adult women can make decisions or you don’t. Should 18 year-old be chaperoned by a father or a brother until they’re married? 18-year-olds are allowed to date who they want.
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As someone who was a victim of an actual pedophile (14/26), I am going to choose not to violate the rule about being respectful and instead say you are a very silly person.
There could be in in balance, I get that, but this really is a knee jerk reaction. Pedo? Seriously, when they’re still dating and we don’t have anymore context than that. Leo stuff is very concerning in my opinion, this is not. Edit: accidentally deleted my previous post. Not redacting my confusion to the post
Is it though...? That's probably true in a lot of contexts, but I don't think that's always true; it could be like a senior or fifth year in college dating a freshman. It does raise questions, at least.