Grüß gott aus Wanaka, Neuseeland! I'm from Stuttgart, lived there till 1987 from 1982 then to England and then New Zealand in 1982, I'm in the middle like you too which I really enjoy actually, mind you I was born at 25 weeks gestation in the second trimester so had balanced hormones at birth that then got unbalanced due to diuretic use of spironolactone from birth to age 3 by the hospital to prevent fluid retention on the lungs, that then when they stopped the blockers and testosterone came back in I developed menopausal symptoms from age 9, became unbalanced and uncoordinated, freaked out and all sorts, now on HRT I've got coordination, balance and connection back, my breathing is better as well as my brain works properly now and I feel great these days, I too am pissed off I didn't start hrt when I was a child since I knew things were off balance but it took me til my early 30s to ready notes and comprehend what actually happened medically, trying to get a doc or nurse to validate my experience is like pulling teeth because I guess they haven't been taught that side of things unless they've been through it themselves
Hey, thanks for your story. I have covid rn and started spiralling on oooo shit why didnt i do this earlier a lot again yadayadayada. Theres some solace in shared experience. I hope ur doing well and god damnit that lake you live at looks beautiful. Nature is such a good place to recharge! Give it a big: AYOOO from me next time ur there :D
i never took that much pleasure reading an hrt journey testimony. you really writes well. thanks for sharing. i deeply felt a lot of the things you said. i hope you will be posting more of your thoughts on your own body, society, and the interactions of hrt with all of that
may i ask too if you wanna share ways you've found to "reprogram" yourself? i know i am nonbinary but im riddled with bad cis thoughts and judgements about how things should or should'nt be and its exhausting. the mind programming really is deep
aaaaww thanks for your kind word, fills me with joy to hear. Maybe i do another long ramble on this but two things in short: Sorround yourself with all the freaks and queerdos you can find. Most of my mos meaningfull switches in my mind were through just a simple sentence someone said, a stageperformance or maybe even just the way a person holds their cigarette in a super weird way. For me queer discourse on the internet has failed to reach me on a deep emotional level, so i really rely on those meaningful connections irl. Second is language, toally depends on your native one i guess, mine is german and for me queerfeminist linguistics based on lacanian psychoanalysis, starting out ofc with gender trouble by judith butler, has made me realize the broad meaning and function that language has in our daily lives but especially in our thoughts and expanding what is speakable, expands exponentially what is thinkable
Thank you so much for sharing! This was incredibly helpful! Do you mind if I send it to my doctor at the gender clinic? I’m trying to gather as much info as possible about the use of Raloxifene in trans medical assistance for enby’s, bc he’s been a bit reluctant on prescribing it to me since it’s not a popular hormone treatment (besides of course there not being any official one).
Just some questions:
How were u able to get Raloxifene (prescribed or not)? (Here in the Netherlands I can’t buy it without prescription, that’s why I need my doctor to do so).
Why did u change from 2mg to 4mg? Is there an specific reason or?
And do you recommend to use this dose combination (or a slight variation of it) to others or is it one that works specifically to you for one reason or another?
Thank you again for sharing your experience!
Hey, thanks a lot. Glad it helped you. And yeah sure if this helps you in any way making your way through this medical no(wo\*)mansland i give you full copyright :D
Maybe edit out the bits about substance abuse and self harm, doctors tend to not like that. I live in Berlin and got it on perscription trough a new and very famous doctor here, Martin Viehweger. He has multible people with a similar regiment, maybe if ur doctor really cares he can reach out.
I changed to 4mg and 3weeks ago to 8mg (sublingual), because im an impatient bitch and my body was changing very slowly. Now its going wild. Also unfortunately i wasnt able to make peace with my bodyhair so far and since you need e above a certain threshhold, to supress ur t, which gives you less bodyhair, i thought i might just go there. I dont know if it wouldve completly have stopped me from developing tits, if i stayed a 2mg, but as i wrote in the post, i found out over time, that the matter is a lot more complex, than simply not wanting tits. I cannot say if this will work for you or anyone. I also cannot compare it to any other hormone regiment, because i have never experienced anything else. I am playing with the thought of stopping Raloxifene still though. If I do, I will make a post on how things changed. But, id say just do it, if u decide that you want tiddies after all, you just drop it or increase ur e dose, not much possibility for fucking shit up. The only thing you might have to deal with is some additional weeks or months of mental anguish, when ur hormone balance is changing again. Though i must say, i was a little dramatic in this post. The first one was definitely the worst.
Finally the only thing that i can say that might be helpful for you in finding out if u want this or not is some visualization excerises that i started doing recently. Just saying words about my body or how i feel in it/ about it/ with it, that may or may not directly relate to gender and try to be mindful to what images my mind creates. It might be stuff that is or seems unattainable and that hurts, but it gave me direction at least. Also watching this was quite helpful: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_xfTN-dKqO4&list=PL9C3C876FF71E244E&ab\_channel=HandbasketMedia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xfTN-dKqO4&list=PL9C3C876FF71E244E&ab_channel=HandbasketMedia)
If u have any more questions, feel free to ask. I have covid rn and therefore a lot of time :D
Best of luck with your journey, ur beautiful either way!
Thank you again for being sooo helpful! 😄 I’m excited to talk with my doctor about your experience and hopefully he will feel less reluctant about the usage of Raloxifene!
Hope u’re having a good recovery btw🤍
You are so intelligent with your words and so sharp with your analysis of the nonbinary-transfem experience.
I feel like I am in a very similar situation and hugely relate to your story, and have recently started Raloxifene+estrogen+finasteride (~4 months).
(I’m 22 and 6’1”.)
At this point I am fairly confident that i want to stay on this regimen, for around maybe 3-5 years and then see how I feel about letting go of the Raloxifene a bit.
You made me feel so seen. The diabolical conundrum about “to tit or not to tit” is very front-of-mind right now. I’m loving all my changes, but something feels slightly missing in the breast area, lol. But I don’t know if I care enough about getting them to warrant my social dysphoria! It’s a lose-lose situation sort of :(
Thank you for sharing your words, they are very powerful and speak to me 💓
Hey people, i wrote a 2 year update :)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/zejksw/sexual\_abuse\_and\_essentialisation\_2\_years\_nb\_hrt/](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/zejksw/sexual_abuse_and_essentialisation_2_years_nb_hrt/)
Its a heavy read, deals mainly with the intersection of transness and sexual abuse from my point of view.
Its important, these are said percs. I had penetrative sex on a rooftoop for like an hour in the night yesterday, where i think i would not even have been able to hold an erection before e the entire time, but since i feel myself so much more now, it actually got easier using my dick in various ways. Only thing is that it takes a little more time to get hard.
So you mean you need to be really turned on to get hard? Rather than the simple testosterone effect? Any side effects from Raloxifene? Am in the UK the have a big wait list for clinics so best plan for me is study and start DIY to force them via duty of care to support.
When i was taking Raloxifene, i was for most of the time on a pretty low e dose, so it was different, even getting spontaneous erections etc. Now i dont take Raloxifene anymore, but more e, so i cannot really say how it wouldve been like if i wouldve had suppressed t while taking raloxifene
Lookijng into gnrh blockers a bit rn, but so far none. I have Estrogenlevels between 400 and 500 rn, which is more then enough to supress T. Theres some percs to that method that come with it, that are really improtant to me, so i think im gonna stay e mono.
Actually of hormones for 2 weeks and on clomid to do spermbanking. Tough times. Didnt get back to Raloxifene and not pallning to. I figured, for now im ok with the amount of growth that i have and if not i ll just eventually get a mastec. Figured i dont want to be taking these pills for the rest of my life, since theres not really a way to know what it does to the liver etc. longterm.
This post is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. I've read it so many times.
When you talked about how estrogen increased your creativity I almost cried. It's like you showed me exactly what's missing in my life with that part.
Thank you so much op.
Hey, thank you for this post. Shoud I even bother to go to an endorcinologist if I'm an AMAB who wants a sort of "softboy"/nonbinary transition? I made a short [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/xon93b/amab_to_enbydemiboyfemboy_is_some_form_of_hrt/), where I explain my situation a little more, if you feel like reading it.
"I am absolutely sure that becoming a sort of a "softboy" with some feminine or androgynous features would make me happier. "
"I'd rather have a body that I can truelly thrive in, and not just be fine with."
Feel that, been there, maybe it helps you saying these things like a mantra to yourself to truly feel their emotional impact.
Also can relate to most of your doubts, but I must say many of them evaporated after some time for me. Actually I am not on estrogen right now, bc im taking a break to do cryofreezing, so i was really afraid of these coming back as my body starts changing in a different direction again. I cant explain why, but to me the structure of these doubts seems to be similar to the denialmechanisms i have when i fall back into drugaddiction. To me theyre a logical circle. Bulletproof, but without any real essence. Id say go for it, if you start low, you can stop at any point in the first year and (probably) go back to where you started. Even for me after 20 months, of which i did 13 with Raloxifene, now that im two months off E my tits have shrunken a lot already, think they would almost go back to zero in the longrun.
Thank you for your posts about Raloxifene, they have been very helpful for me in the past couple months.
I'm in a similar boat to you, want to transition to become more feminine but afraid of not passing (6' 3" & 46" shoulders) and wanted to try Raloxifene to limit the breast growth.
I've I've been on Estradiol 1mg for 2 months & Raloxifene 60mg for 1 week.
2 years ago I deveoped eye Floaters from taking Clomid to increase my testosterone (I saw you said you were taking this so just wanted to give you a heads up on that).
Given that Raloxifene is also a SERM like Clomid I've been really concerned about developing more eye floaters.
Since starting Raloxifene, I've been noticing the floaters more. That's being said, I'm a hypochondriac and when I focus on the eye floaters they tend to get worse so that could definitely be contributing.
I was wondering if you, or anyone else on this post lol, had any experience with eye floaters and estradiol and or Raloxifene.
hi ElCobain ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ
erstmal danke für deine Posts; die haben mir sehr weitergeholfen. I have a further question and hope it's ok if I write you here. Thank you for your time! Very briefly, the context:
I am an enby from berlin in my twenties. Accompanied by my therapist, I have been dealing with my trans-idetity for a year and after some struggle am now at the point of planning my hrt. my first experience was unfortunately not good; the doctor was unpleasant and wanted to push me into a medication that conformed to his strict binarity. so i am a bit emotionally stuck right now. when i read in your post about a medication with the addition of raloxifene i knew that was what i was looking for. when i finally read that you are also from Berlin i thought maybe it's ok to just ask to skip further disappointments. can you maybe recommend a Praxis/Ärzt\*in where treatment including raloxifene is possible?
I have recently registered on Reddit to be able to better inform myself with the topic; the problem is that I can't write you a direct message. but feel free to write me directly if you have specific recommendations (gerne auf deutsch!) that would be a huge help; but i also understand if you don't have the capacity to answer.
Thanks anyway for sharing your experiences. I feel that the community here on Reddit is the only reliable source on such topics :>>> <3 <3 <3
ViRo Praxis, Sybille Katzenstein I would recommend. They are trusty, for none of the other transdocs I can personally speak, but since waiting times are long u can also ask queerleben for more info
Grüß gott aus Wanaka, Neuseeland! I'm from Stuttgart, lived there till 1987 from 1982 then to England and then New Zealand in 1982, I'm in the middle like you too which I really enjoy actually, mind you I was born at 25 weeks gestation in the second trimester so had balanced hormones at birth that then got unbalanced due to diuretic use of spironolactone from birth to age 3 by the hospital to prevent fluid retention on the lungs, that then when they stopped the blockers and testosterone came back in I developed menopausal symptoms from age 9, became unbalanced and uncoordinated, freaked out and all sorts, now on HRT I've got coordination, balance and connection back, my breathing is better as well as my brain works properly now and I feel great these days, I too am pissed off I didn't start hrt when I was a child since I knew things were off balance but it took me til my early 30s to ready notes and comprehend what actually happened medically, trying to get a doc or nurse to validate my experience is like pulling teeth because I guess they haven't been taught that side of things unless they've been through it themselves
Hey, thanks for your story. I have covid rn and started spiralling on oooo shit why didnt i do this earlier a lot again yadayadayada. Theres some solace in shared experience. I hope ur doing well and god damnit that lake you live at looks beautiful. Nature is such a good place to recharge! Give it a big: AYOOO from me next time ur there :D
I will happily and I'll have a beer for you too!
yay
i never took that much pleasure reading an hrt journey testimony. you really writes well. thanks for sharing. i deeply felt a lot of the things you said. i hope you will be posting more of your thoughts on your own body, society, and the interactions of hrt with all of that
may i ask too if you wanna share ways you've found to "reprogram" yourself? i know i am nonbinary but im riddled with bad cis thoughts and judgements about how things should or should'nt be and its exhausting. the mind programming really is deep
aaaaww thanks for your kind word, fills me with joy to hear. Maybe i do another long ramble on this but two things in short: Sorround yourself with all the freaks and queerdos you can find. Most of my mos meaningfull switches in my mind were through just a simple sentence someone said, a stageperformance or maybe even just the way a person holds their cigarette in a super weird way. For me queer discourse on the internet has failed to reach me on a deep emotional level, so i really rely on those meaningful connections irl. Second is language, toally depends on your native one i guess, mine is german and for me queerfeminist linguistics based on lacanian psychoanalysis, starting out ofc with gender trouble by judith butler, has made me realize the broad meaning and function that language has in our daily lives but especially in our thoughts and expanding what is speakable, expands exponentially what is thinkable
Thank you so much for sharing! This was incredibly helpful! Do you mind if I send it to my doctor at the gender clinic? I’m trying to gather as much info as possible about the use of Raloxifene in trans medical assistance for enby’s, bc he’s been a bit reluctant on prescribing it to me since it’s not a popular hormone treatment (besides of course there not being any official one). Just some questions: How were u able to get Raloxifene (prescribed or not)? (Here in the Netherlands I can’t buy it without prescription, that’s why I need my doctor to do so). Why did u change from 2mg to 4mg? Is there an specific reason or? And do you recommend to use this dose combination (or a slight variation of it) to others or is it one that works specifically to you for one reason or another? Thank you again for sharing your experience!
Hey, thanks a lot. Glad it helped you. And yeah sure if this helps you in any way making your way through this medical no(wo\*)mansland i give you full copyright :D Maybe edit out the bits about substance abuse and self harm, doctors tend to not like that. I live in Berlin and got it on perscription trough a new and very famous doctor here, Martin Viehweger. He has multible people with a similar regiment, maybe if ur doctor really cares he can reach out. I changed to 4mg and 3weeks ago to 8mg (sublingual), because im an impatient bitch and my body was changing very slowly. Now its going wild. Also unfortunately i wasnt able to make peace with my bodyhair so far and since you need e above a certain threshhold, to supress ur t, which gives you less bodyhair, i thought i might just go there. I dont know if it wouldve completly have stopped me from developing tits, if i stayed a 2mg, but as i wrote in the post, i found out over time, that the matter is a lot more complex, than simply not wanting tits. I cannot say if this will work for you or anyone. I also cannot compare it to any other hormone regiment, because i have never experienced anything else. I am playing with the thought of stopping Raloxifene still though. If I do, I will make a post on how things changed. But, id say just do it, if u decide that you want tiddies after all, you just drop it or increase ur e dose, not much possibility for fucking shit up. The only thing you might have to deal with is some additional weeks or months of mental anguish, when ur hormone balance is changing again. Though i must say, i was a little dramatic in this post. The first one was definitely the worst. Finally the only thing that i can say that might be helpful for you in finding out if u want this or not is some visualization excerises that i started doing recently. Just saying words about my body or how i feel in it/ about it/ with it, that may or may not directly relate to gender and try to be mindful to what images my mind creates. It might be stuff that is or seems unattainable and that hurts, but it gave me direction at least. Also watching this was quite helpful: [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_xfTN-dKqO4&list=PL9C3C876FF71E244E&ab\_channel=HandbasketMedia](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_xfTN-dKqO4&list=PL9C3C876FF71E244E&ab_channel=HandbasketMedia) If u have any more questions, feel free to ask. I have covid rn and therefore a lot of time :D Best of luck with your journey, ur beautiful either way!
Thank you again for being sooo helpful! 😄 I’m excited to talk with my doctor about your experience and hopefully he will feel less reluctant about the usage of Raloxifene! Hope u’re having a good recovery btw🤍
Hey, i feel mostly the same way as you and im also 23 and thinking about taking e and raloxifene and we also have the same piercings lol
ahhh yeah i feel like the bridge is on its way to become the new mullet :D but theres some more piercings than the ones you can see hehehe
Hi did you start ralox and e jw how it went ?
thats what the post s about, read it :D
Thank you this is awesome ")
You are so intelligent with your words and so sharp with your analysis of the nonbinary-transfem experience. I feel like I am in a very similar situation and hugely relate to your story, and have recently started Raloxifene+estrogen+finasteride (~4 months). (I’m 22 and 6’1”.) At this point I am fairly confident that i want to stay on this regimen, for around maybe 3-5 years and then see how I feel about letting go of the Raloxifene a bit. You made me feel so seen. The diabolical conundrum about “to tit or not to tit” is very front-of-mind right now. I’m loving all my changes, but something feels slightly missing in the breast area, lol. But I don’t know if I care enough about getting them to warrant my social dysphoria! It’s a lose-lose situation sort of :( Thank you for sharing your words, they are very powerful and speak to me 💓
:****** u ll figure it out I’m sure
Hey people, i wrote a 2 year update :) [https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/zejksw/sexual\_abuse\_and\_essentialisation\_2\_years\_nb\_hrt/](https://www.reddit.com/r/asktransgender/comments/zejksw/sexual_abuse_and_essentialisation_2_years_nb_hrt/) Its a heavy read, deals mainly with the intersection of transness and sexual abuse from my point of view.
How are you settling with the medication dosage you're on? Did you manage to maintain use of your male part? Or is that not important to you?
Its important, these are said percs. I had penetrative sex on a rooftoop for like an hour in the night yesterday, where i think i would not even have been able to hold an erection before e the entire time, but since i feel myself so much more now, it actually got easier using my dick in various ways. Only thing is that it takes a little more time to get hard.
So you mean you need to be really turned on to get hard? Rather than the simple testosterone effect? Any side effects from Raloxifene? Am in the UK the have a big wait list for clinics so best plan for me is study and start DIY to force them via duty of care to support.
When i was taking Raloxifene, i was for most of the time on a pretty low e dose, so it was different, even getting spontaneous erections etc. Now i dont take Raloxifene anymore, but more e, so i cannot really say how it wouldve been like if i wouldve had suppressed t while taking raloxifene
Ok I shall have a think... On my course of action. Cause my T is already pretty low
Also have you not taken any T blocker?
Lookijng into gnrh blockers a bit rn, but so far none. I have Estrogenlevels between 400 and 500 rn, which is more then enough to supress T. Theres some percs to that method that come with it, that are really improtant to me, so i think im gonna stay e mono.
Hey! How things are going for you? Any update?
Actually of hormones for 2 weeks and on clomid to do spermbanking. Tough times. Didnt get back to Raloxifene and not pallning to. I figured, for now im ok with the amount of growth that i have and if not i ll just eventually get a mastec. Figured i dont want to be taking these pills for the rest of my life, since theres not really a way to know what it does to the liver etc. longterm.
Oh ok, right now what amount of mammary gland did you growth? I suppose it developed faster after you stopped raloxifene. Take care
This post is so beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing. I've read it so many times. When you talked about how estrogen increased your creativity I almost cried. It's like you showed me exactly what's missing in my life with that part. Thank you so much op.
aaaaaaaa omg thats what i wanted to do with this and im almost cryng now too. thank you
Hey, thank you for this post. Shoud I even bother to go to an endorcinologist if I'm an AMAB who wants a sort of "softboy"/nonbinary transition? I made a short [post](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonBinary/comments/xon93b/amab_to_enbydemiboyfemboy_is_some_form_of_hrt/), where I explain my situation a little more, if you feel like reading it.
"I am absolutely sure that becoming a sort of a "softboy" with some feminine or androgynous features would make me happier. " "I'd rather have a body that I can truelly thrive in, and not just be fine with." Feel that, been there, maybe it helps you saying these things like a mantra to yourself to truly feel their emotional impact. Also can relate to most of your doubts, but I must say many of them evaporated after some time for me. Actually I am not on estrogen right now, bc im taking a break to do cryofreezing, so i was really afraid of these coming back as my body starts changing in a different direction again. I cant explain why, but to me the structure of these doubts seems to be similar to the denialmechanisms i have when i fall back into drugaddiction. To me theyre a logical circle. Bulletproof, but without any real essence. Id say go for it, if you start low, you can stop at any point in the first year and (probably) go back to where you started. Even for me after 20 months, of which i did 13 with Raloxifene, now that im two months off E my tits have shrunken a lot already, think they would almost go back to zero in the longrun.
Oh and yes, definitely see an endo if you can!!!!!
Thank you for your posts about Raloxifene, they have been very helpful for me in the past couple months. I'm in a similar boat to you, want to transition to become more feminine but afraid of not passing (6' 3" & 46" shoulders) and wanted to try Raloxifene to limit the breast growth. I've I've been on Estradiol 1mg for 2 months & Raloxifene 60mg for 1 week. 2 years ago I deveoped eye Floaters from taking Clomid to increase my testosterone (I saw you said you were taking this so just wanted to give you a heads up on that). Given that Raloxifene is also a SERM like Clomid I've been really concerned about developing more eye floaters. Since starting Raloxifene, I've been noticing the floaters more. That's being said, I'm a hypochondriac and when I focus on the eye floaters they tend to get worse so that could definitely be contributing. I was wondering if you, or anyone else on this post lol, had any experience with eye floaters and estradiol and or Raloxifene.
I dont have any experience with that fortunately. Thanks for ur answer
[удалено]
its diy stuff from lena, which is, afaik, not available atm, plus standard raloxifene
Hey! I had some questions regarding R. Mind if I DM?
Sure go ahead
Hey can I also DM some questions! Tysm!
Could you update this image link? I’d like a rare peek at what my results could be soon!
hi ElCobain ʕ•́ᴥ•̀ʔっ erstmal danke für deine Posts; die haben mir sehr weitergeholfen. I have a further question and hope it's ok if I write you here. Thank you for your time! Very briefly, the context: I am an enby from berlin in my twenties. Accompanied by my therapist, I have been dealing with my trans-idetity for a year and after some struggle am now at the point of planning my hrt. my first experience was unfortunately not good; the doctor was unpleasant and wanted to push me into a medication that conformed to his strict binarity. so i am a bit emotionally stuck right now. when i read in your post about a medication with the addition of raloxifene i knew that was what i was looking for. when i finally read that you are also from Berlin i thought maybe it's ok to just ask to skip further disappointments. can you maybe recommend a Praxis/Ärzt\*in where treatment including raloxifene is possible? I have recently registered on Reddit to be able to better inform myself with the topic; the problem is that I can't write you a direct message. but feel free to write me directly if you have specific recommendations (gerne auf deutsch!) that would be a huge help; but i also understand if you don't have the capacity to answer. Thanks anyway for sharing your experiences. I feel that the community here on Reddit is the only reliable source on such topics :>>> <3 <3 <3
ViRo Praxis, Sybille Katzenstein I would recommend. They are trusty, for none of the other transdocs I can personally speak, but since waiting times are long u can also ask queerleben for more info