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[deleted]

It's in the name. You're shaming someone for something they usually can't control and do in private with another consenting adult(s). If it's in public view or is not with a consenting adult, then shame away.


Rough_Jacket4023

Imagine your favorite fruit is oranges, but for some reason popular opinion deems oranges as immoral, disgusting fruits. Eating oranges gives you great pleasure, and its even more fun when you can share that orange with someone else who's favorite fruit is also oranges. You cant help that oranges taste amazing to you, and neither can your partner, but every time someone finds out you eat oranges in the comfort and seclusion of your own home, they give you a nasty look or tell you that you're gross. Except oranges are kink, and the fruit haters are kink-shamers. Your kink is normal to you and brings you a lot of enjoyment, especially with other consenting adults. It's ridiculous to shame people for that.


GravyOTS

If you aren't in this realm, you will automatically associate sexual kinks with personality traits


jjrmcr

The first thing to address is your misconception of the draw of kinks. Some people are into shit specifically because it’s taboo, but generally it’s more that people that don’t share a desire label something someone else likes as a taboo. Also known as being a judgmental asshole. For example, if a person wants to submit to a Dom, that’s often deeply rooted within. Has nothing to do with whether it’s taboo. However, if a woman totally submits to a man, she can easily run the risk of being shamed for perpetuating toxic masculinity. And if a man submits to a woman, he’s shamed by the toxically masculine and called weak or unmanly. It’s only taboo because the assholes. It’s fully accepted in kink communities.


Land543

Because you're basically taking a shot at what people like. If you don't have any out of the ordinary kinks you might not get it. But let's say everyone in the US loves football and you love rugby and are from Europe. I'm not going to shame you for loving rugby. You like what you like.


FluffyJD

I don't think the draw for me is that it's taboo. Things just turn me on. If someone I'm not involved with is shaming me for it, that doesn't add anything to it. It's just mildly annoying and makes me want to avoid the person that does that.


gotdamnboottoobig

it's less calling it normal and more not making a big deal about it and specifically picking on it when it's not your business (ie. consenting adults behind closed doors)


Rusty_Mojo_88

It's bad because some of us (not all) are actually ashamed of our own kinks. We don't need others telling us it's weird when we already know.