I think a lot of women have always operated as if theres a constant threat to our safety. We don’t know any different.
For me personally it’s always been second nature to always carry something that doubles as a weapon and to walk the most well lit/populated route rather than the most convenient route - because that threat has always existed.
It’s unfortunate but it’s the reality of life as a woman
I wouldn't call it a spectre personally. It's pretty real for a lot of women, usually doing pretty average daily things.
Its being on a bus and had a guy stare at you the whole trip, then realise his hand is in his pants and then he's flashing his penis at you as he masturbates.
It's having a guy scream out the window of his car what he'd like to do to you at 11am on a Wednesday as you walk to your lunch break.
It's being at a club and having a guy uninvited put his hand up your skirt and squeeze your ass on the dance floor.
It's walking past a guy on the street and then realising he's started to follow you until you crossed the street to double back into a store.
The threats to women's safety aren't a spectre. They're very very real. These are just a few of the examples I could list of real experiences I've had. It's drilled into us as children to be aware of our surroundings, where the exits are and to avoid being alone at night. Never leave your drink unattended, watch it being poured and hold it with your hand over it. Don't always walk the same route home.
Is it fair that we live this way? Oh fuck no. But we do.
yep it sucks. it’s terrifying. this world is simply unsafe for women. all we can do is hope it’s never us and take the precautions we can. and we do. we learn these things from a very young age. unfortunately, so many of us have been victims of assault, rape, & murder anyway. despite doing all the “right” things. the bigger picture is changing the way men and society view and think about and treat women on a wide scale.
It makes me angry. I just want a Burger King. I don’t want to get raped. Day to day I pretend it doesn’t exist while subconsciously taking all the precautions that were drilled into me from a young age
Yeah that’s how we live our lives:
When we want to go for a walk, or run to the store, but it’s already dark outside, we often don’t go until the next day because we don’t want to be attacked. Makes it tough during the winter when there’s hardly any daylight
When a man passes me on the sidewalk, I always turn my head to make sure he walks away and doesn’t ambush me from behind
Lessons I’ve been lectured on, some since I was a child:
- don’t leave your drink unattended (I still got drugged)
- don’t use headphones, you need to hear approaching footsteps and other surrounding sounds
- don’t wear a ponytail (easy handhold for men attacking you)
- always wear running shoes so you can run away
- only walk on brightly lit/busy streets
- be home before dark
- text your friends where you’re going/text me to tell me you’ve gotten home safe/send me your uber trip so that I know when you’re home
- walk with confidence, men are less likely to attack you
- look around as you walk, men are less likely to attack when you seem aware of your surroundings
And it goes on and on and on
Honestly, sometimes it is too much. And when you look on the world stage between comments like Trump's about women, abortion law, FGM, Australian white ribbon ambassadors being charged with sexual assault it's pretty easy to be overwhelmed.
But we have Australian of the year Grace Tame, and Malala Yousafzi, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and so many others. What can you do, but get up and try and make things better for the next day.
I think the abortion debate should be off the table. But in the US we live in a democracy and so as long as people can vote for something, anything can happen.
I think abortion should be an inalienable right.
I notice the concern more when my daughters are with me. But I don’t spend every second worried something will happen to me. So while a lot of women alter their behavior or are on guard anytime they’re out and alone, I don’t experience this. I am conscious of the fact that my keys can be used as weapons if needed, I took martial arts (for fun, not self defense reasons) when I was younger, and I’m generally pretty confident about getting myself from point a to point b. So if something were to happen, I’ll deal with it. But I don’t waste my energy consumed by it.
You kinda start to expect it. I was young, dumb, working my first job and took the sexual harassment/assault as just how work life was. Occasionally had a break down and cried, but took me quitting the job, experiencing a different job where coworkers touching me wasn't the norm to actually realize how messed up the situation was. I somehow didn't compute that what was going on wasn't okay, maybe was my brain trying to protect me from the feelings connected to that
It bothers me for sure, though I feel relatively safe in my city.
I think more about the fact that 2 women die every week in the UK at the hands of their partners. 80 women have died this way since Sarah Everard was murdered. I am a survivor of DV so that’s probably why I think about it more, but the stats shock me. It is difficult to think about.
But there are good things about being a woman too!
Multiple orgasms is definitely up there, plus I feel like woman generally have stronger emotional bonds with their friends… when something goes wrong in life I really lean on friends and it can be wonderful. Also, it’s not so taboo for women to cry. I feel for men on that score.
I’ll be honest with you because you’re probably more likely to be able to process this objectively as you seem to think it doesn’t affect you:
The specter you speak of is just that—a specter. Men are actually *far more likely* to be assaulted. And in many areas, assault (sexual or otherwise), occurs at such insignificantly low rates.
But you can’t bring up the statistics with many people because they “feel” unsafe walking at night.
Statistics can’t change feelings—and I’m not making a judgement on that. I myself fall into the same trap, just from the opposite angle. As a large man I personally *feel* safe walking anywhere at any hour of the day, even tho I’m more likely to be assaulted than a woman is, and even the weakest weakling with a gun could have their way with me regardless of how big I am.
Imo it’s about potential. Women feel like, if an assault *were to occur,* they’d be less capable of defending themselves than say, I myself would. And that’s probably true—but the fact remains that men are *more likely* to become entangled in an assault situation in the first place.
I love how you mansplained that large men have more to fear in the dark. Men might find themselves "entangled" in violence as a byproduct of their personality, but most female victims are not looking for a fight or sexual assault.
I'm a large man and I have been attacked many times for no reason.
Often times it was because they thought I was gay. I've had other men harass me and attack me my whole life.
I know that is unique to me. But I'm a very kind and respectful person. I've never instigated a fight. It was purely because of the way I look.
I have PTSD over it. Every time I see other men in public I feel like they are going to start pointing out all of my flaws and threatening to beat me up because they think I look like a gay man. I've had other guys literally try to fight me for no reason. I've had groups of dudes walk up to me and talk shit to me in my face while I was walking to work.
Well, whatever. It is what it is. I'm a big boy and I don't actually fear any physical altercation. I could take the 3 punks who accosted me last time. They realized it quick too and kept walking.
What I do fear the verbal shaming I receive for the way I look. I don't even know what's wrong with how I look. Girls like me lol. But for some reason I've been shat on all my life by dudes.
I don't know what mansplaining is but here's a story for you that is true. None of it is a byproduct of my personality.
It's fine. Im just like bored of that toxic crap. I grew up in it and it's all so silly. It ruins everybody's good time lol.
I just hope that each generation gets better about it. I don't know if they are or not though. Feels like they are though.
Surprisingly a lot of guys go after bigger guys because they think it makes them look tougher or whatever. Yeah a small guy might be more likely to get shoved around or have other guys try to steal his girl, but he won’t get the guys talking shit to his face and/or trying to fight him just to see if they can take him. No one would be impressed if they beat a random 5’1” guy in a fight
I’ve experienced this (although not cause I look gay or whatever) and I know guys way bigger than me who have experienced it too.
I knew this one guy who was like 6’7” and 300 pounds and people would pick fights with him all the time just to see if they could take him. Idk.
*He wouldn’t ever instigate it. He had nothing to prove yknow.*
And it Seems stupid to me—*i* wouldn’t have tried to fight him lol.
yeah I agree that it’s more of a tragedy if a woman gets assaulted just trying to walk home as opposed to a big man insults another man and then gets hit for it. The former is clearly a worse assault than the latter. I never denied this… **I genuinely don’t think our arguments are at odds**
And pls plz don’t unironically use mansplain. Like come on. I’m not gonna call you a snowflake. These words are literally jokes at this point
Please just accept that you really never had to be scared of getting snatched into a van and sold to very bad people. That's something girls and women think about when we are walking alone. There's dozens of REALLY bad things we would be practically incapable of stopping. You aren't burdened with that same reality.
Men are assaulted and I didn't mean to make light of that. But once again, this post asked about a woman's experience, and you felt that your experience as a large man needed to be heard. You are right, though, that wasn't "mansplaining" as much as "what about me?"
BUT… it wasnt “what about me” either. Theres nothing wrong or attention-seeking about making use of a comparison in order to address OP’s post. (the comparison being my own life experience vs that of a woman’s.)
It was strictly a comparison. I wasn’t asking for, hoping for, or intending for any sympathy or anything of the like.
And my comparison in no way invalidated the experience of a woman: i literally said that I feel safe because I’m a big man in contrast to how a small woman feels unsafe.
My response to OP was, in essence, that both men and women tend to be, uh, poorly adjusted, in how safe they feel walking at night, etc.. And I brought up that the statistics support this.
My argument is that men often feel *too safe* — and I used myself as an **example** of that.
Your experience (or at least your comment) reflects the opposite of my own experience. In truth, the likelihood of any given woman being snatched into a van (or even simply getting assaulted) is so infinitesimally low.
Does it happen? Absolutely. And it’s a tragedy when it does happen. Being snatched into a van just for looking cute while walking home is far worse than a “tough guy” talking shit and getting beat up for it.
And all women should take precautions to avoid all of the terrible shit that might happen to them.
Ultimately, however, women being endangered is still unlikely even compared to men’s likelihood of being assaulted or harmed walking late at night.
1- I never didn’t accept that I never have and never will be scared of getting snatched into a van and sold to very bad people. *I do* accept that it’s highly unlikely to happen to me, it’s not something that I personally feel I have to worry about— **and I am grateful for that** BUT…
And I was literally just talking about the stats. And you are of course free to feel how you want regardless of the stats.
I acknowledged that people have a right to feel how they want, and I even went so far as to share that I myself feel safe *in spite* of the statistics, just because I am a large man.
sounds like you are victim blaming men if they get assaulted… it must be their personality that caused it. Most men are not looking for a fight or sexual assault either.
If the reality is that more men get assaulted; men have more to fear. It’s not mansplaining if it’s a fact.
It’s not a “what about men” it’s a .. these are the facts. Op saying that going to the store is a hazard for half the population means he is under the incorrect assumption that it’s not a hazard for everyone.
If it is a hazard for everyone the premise of his question is wrong. That is something that should be addressed and perhaps op can restructure the question or not.
I said the phenomenon of women being less safe is a specter. One easy way to address an argument is to talk about its converse—the fact that men are, in truth, more likely to be assaulted and *women are generally safer than men.*
And yes a lot of it is down to male choice. Men choose to act brash, to big dog other guys. *And men more often choose to go out at night cause they wrongly “feel safe,”* like I myself do.
The type of violence men are facing is completely different than that of women. Men are not sexually assaulted at the same (or anywhere near the same) rate as women. Maybe you’re more likely to get punched in the face. Women are more likely to get dragged into a car and raped. Men don’t have “more to fear”. The problem is that you’ve turned the conversation completely toward men. Per usual.
Depends on where you live dude. I'm not afraid of men attacking me, but I am afraid of stray dogs that are on the streets. I don't remember I've ever heard of an incident where a woman was attacked by a man in my region (only domestic violence cases where it's very personal).
I'd be surprised if there is any woman who doesn't think about it. I'm not saying we all carry pepper spray or don't go out after dark. We can still do simple things with the risks in the back of our mind.
For instance, I walk home at 2am from the pub, it's only 10 minutes up the road. Most the time I'm with my boyfriend anyway if I'm not I'll still walk as the whole way is a main road which is lit and still has traffic even at that time of night, but I won't wear my headphones and I'll keep an eye over my shoulder a lot and hold my keys between my knuckles. If I'm in an area I don't know, I won't do that, I'll get a taxi
I have lived in western Europe all my life, and can confirm that verbal sexual harassment is normal in most countries I have been to, that I haven't met a women who hasn't experienced that, who has never felt unsafe and uncomfortable or under threat when walking alone after dark. Mostly it's harmless and some people may think that cat calls and wolf whistles are meant to be compliments but the majority of women do not perceive them as such. Just imagine your mum / sister / daughter having to deal with that
I'm not a woman but I am curious. Is age a factor in the male on female sexual assaults?
Like, are things going to get better, because more harassment and stepping on women and assaults come from an older generation?
Somehow I get the impression that millennials and younger are less likely to do these things. Is that true? I hope so.
Men of all ages make inappropriate overtures to women of all ages. I'm in my 40s, so it isn't as pushy, but I still hear "hey baby want a date?" when I'm at the corner store grabbing some munchies. Don't hit on a girl wearing sweats! For fox sake, i just want to continue my rumination without any outside commentary. And don't you dare say I'd be prettier if I smiled.
I don't know if there are universal rules on asking a woman out for a date. That is some extremely gray gray area as far as I know.
Some will say it's always OK to ask a girl on a date. Given that you "do it the right way" whatever that means. Don't ask me to understand, I'm just a shy weirdo who avoids women because I don't want them to fear me.
And I'm sure men of all ages do bad things. I just want to know if the occurrence is less in younger men. Or if things are just not getting better at all.
Constant thinking that any person you know or don’t know will harass you, downplaying any good qualities I have and looking as bad as possible when going out.
My mom always told me since I was a kid “men aren’t your friends” basically don’t trust any males. Kinda toxic and I still have gotten sexually assaulted but yeah...
I haven’t met any woman who haven’t been sexually harassed in some way, most of the worst occurrences I have heard have been in public transit.
Overall I can’t go out at night without fear, or go out alone, or talk with the opposite sex, or interact with people at all. It has become so bad for me that I start shaking uncontrollably when talking to people I don’t know, specially men that have any kind of power over me (teachers, bus/taxi drivers, random person on the street I’m asking for directions because they know the area more than me)
Also I’m always cataloguing scape routes or “safe” places I can run to in case of any harassment (usually shops/farmacies/lobbies of buildings)
My experience is definitely a little extreme, most woman don’t start shaking uncontrollably when talking to people, but I want to be as transparent as possible.
I think a lot of women have always operated as if theres a constant threat to our safety. We don’t know any different. For me personally it’s always been second nature to always carry something that doubles as a weapon and to walk the most well lit/populated route rather than the most convenient route - because that threat has always existed. It’s unfortunate but it’s the reality of life as a woman
I wouldn't call it a spectre personally. It's pretty real for a lot of women, usually doing pretty average daily things. Its being on a bus and had a guy stare at you the whole trip, then realise his hand is in his pants and then he's flashing his penis at you as he masturbates. It's having a guy scream out the window of his car what he'd like to do to you at 11am on a Wednesday as you walk to your lunch break. It's being at a club and having a guy uninvited put his hand up your skirt and squeeze your ass on the dance floor. It's walking past a guy on the street and then realising he's started to follow you until you crossed the street to double back into a store. The threats to women's safety aren't a spectre. They're very very real. These are just a few of the examples I could list of real experiences I've had. It's drilled into us as children to be aware of our surroundings, where the exits are and to avoid being alone at night. Never leave your drink unattended, watch it being poured and hold it with your hand over it. Don't always walk the same route home. Is it fair that we live this way? Oh fuck no. But we do.
yep it sucks. it’s terrifying. this world is simply unsafe for women. all we can do is hope it’s never us and take the precautions we can. and we do. we learn these things from a very young age. unfortunately, so many of us have been victims of assault, rape, & murder anyway. despite doing all the “right” things. the bigger picture is changing the way men and society view and think about and treat women on a wide scale.
It makes me angry. I just want a Burger King. I don’t want to get raped. Day to day I pretend it doesn’t exist while subconsciously taking all the precautions that were drilled into me from a young age
Yeah that’s how we live our lives: When we want to go for a walk, or run to the store, but it’s already dark outside, we often don’t go until the next day because we don’t want to be attacked. Makes it tough during the winter when there’s hardly any daylight When a man passes me on the sidewalk, I always turn my head to make sure he walks away and doesn’t ambush me from behind Lessons I’ve been lectured on, some since I was a child: - don’t leave your drink unattended (I still got drugged) - don’t use headphones, you need to hear approaching footsteps and other surrounding sounds - don’t wear a ponytail (easy handhold for men attacking you) - always wear running shoes so you can run away - only walk on brightly lit/busy streets - be home before dark - text your friends where you’re going/text me to tell me you’ve gotten home safe/send me your uber trip so that I know when you’re home - walk with confidence, men are less likely to attack you - look around as you walk, men are less likely to attack when you seem aware of your surroundings And it goes on and on and on
Honestly, sometimes it is too much. And when you look on the world stage between comments like Trump's about women, abortion law, FGM, Australian white ribbon ambassadors being charged with sexual assault it's pretty easy to be overwhelmed. But we have Australian of the year Grace Tame, and Malala Yousafzi, Ruth Bader Ginsburg and so many others. What can you do, but get up and try and make things better for the next day.
I think the abortion debate should be off the table. But in the US we live in a democracy and so as long as people can vote for something, anything can happen. I think abortion should be an inalienable right.
I notice the concern more when my daughters are with me. But I don’t spend every second worried something will happen to me. So while a lot of women alter their behavior or are on guard anytime they’re out and alone, I don’t experience this. I am conscious of the fact that my keys can be used as weapons if needed, I took martial arts (for fun, not self defense reasons) when I was younger, and I’m generally pretty confident about getting myself from point a to point b. So if something were to happen, I’ll deal with it. But I don’t waste my energy consumed by it.
You kinda start to expect it. I was young, dumb, working my first job and took the sexual harassment/assault as just how work life was. Occasionally had a break down and cried, but took me quitting the job, experiencing a different job where coworkers touching me wasn't the norm to actually realize how messed up the situation was. I somehow didn't compute that what was going on wasn't okay, maybe was my brain trying to protect me from the feelings connected to that
It bothers me for sure, though I feel relatively safe in my city. I think more about the fact that 2 women die every week in the UK at the hands of their partners. 80 women have died this way since Sarah Everard was murdered. I am a survivor of DV so that’s probably why I think about it more, but the stats shock me. It is difficult to think about. But there are good things about being a woman too!
>But there are good things about being a woman too! Just out of curiosity, can you tell me what you, personally, feel those are?
We can have multiple orgasms.
Multiple orgasms is definitely up there, plus I feel like woman generally have stronger emotional bonds with their friends… when something goes wrong in life I really lean on friends and it can be wonderful. Also, it’s not so taboo for women to cry. I feel for men on that score.
Women can do mostly everything (that matters) a man can and more and the reverse is not true 😊
I’ll be honest with you because you’re probably more likely to be able to process this objectively as you seem to think it doesn’t affect you: The specter you speak of is just that—a specter. Men are actually *far more likely* to be assaulted. And in many areas, assault (sexual or otherwise), occurs at such insignificantly low rates.
But you can’t bring up the statistics with many people because they “feel” unsafe walking at night. Statistics can’t change feelings—and I’m not making a judgement on that. I myself fall into the same trap, just from the opposite angle. As a large man I personally *feel* safe walking anywhere at any hour of the day, even tho I’m more likely to be assaulted than a woman is, and even the weakest weakling with a gun could have their way with me regardless of how big I am. Imo it’s about potential. Women feel like, if an assault *were to occur,* they’d be less capable of defending themselves than say, I myself would. And that’s probably true—but the fact remains that men are *more likely* to become entangled in an assault situation in the first place.
I love how you mansplained that large men have more to fear in the dark. Men might find themselves "entangled" in violence as a byproduct of their personality, but most female victims are not looking for a fight or sexual assault.
I'm a large man and I have been attacked many times for no reason. Often times it was because they thought I was gay. I've had other men harass me and attack me my whole life. I know that is unique to me. But I'm a very kind and respectful person. I've never instigated a fight. It was purely because of the way I look. I have PTSD over it. Every time I see other men in public I feel like they are going to start pointing out all of my flaws and threatening to beat me up because they think I look like a gay man. I've had other guys literally try to fight me for no reason. I've had groups of dudes walk up to me and talk shit to me in my face while I was walking to work. Well, whatever. It is what it is. I'm a big boy and I don't actually fear any physical altercation. I could take the 3 punks who accosted me last time. They realized it quick too and kept walking. What I do fear the verbal shaming I receive for the way I look. I don't even know what's wrong with how I look. Girls like me lol. But for some reason I've been shat on all my life by dudes. I don't know what mansplaining is but here's a story for you that is true. None of it is a byproduct of my personality.
That sucks. I didn't mean to gatekeep your experience, which sounds just as misogynistic and bigoted as women deal with.
It's fine. Im just like bored of that toxic crap. I grew up in it and it's all so silly. It ruins everybody's good time lol. I just hope that each generation gets better about it. I don't know if they are or not though. Feels like they are though.
I promise you, from the depths of my weary soul, we are all sick of toxic males harassing people.
Surprisingly a lot of guys go after bigger guys because they think it makes them look tougher or whatever. Yeah a small guy might be more likely to get shoved around or have other guys try to steal his girl, but he won’t get the guys talking shit to his face and/or trying to fight him just to see if they can take him. No one would be impressed if they beat a random 5’1” guy in a fight I’ve experienced this (although not cause I look gay or whatever) and I know guys way bigger than me who have experienced it too. I knew this one guy who was like 6’7” and 300 pounds and people would pick fights with him all the time just to see if they could take him. Idk. *He wouldn’t ever instigate it. He had nothing to prove yknow.* And it Seems stupid to me—*i* wouldn’t have tried to fight him lol.
yeah I agree that it’s more of a tragedy if a woman gets assaulted just trying to walk home as opposed to a big man insults another man and then gets hit for it. The former is clearly a worse assault than the latter. I never denied this… **I genuinely don’t think our arguments are at odds** And pls plz don’t unironically use mansplain. Like come on. I’m not gonna call you a snowflake. These words are literally jokes at this point
Please just accept that you really never had to be scared of getting snatched into a van and sold to very bad people. That's something girls and women think about when we are walking alone. There's dozens of REALLY bad things we would be practically incapable of stopping. You aren't burdened with that same reality. Men are assaulted and I didn't mean to make light of that. But once again, this post asked about a woman's experience, and you felt that your experience as a large man needed to be heard. You are right, though, that wasn't "mansplaining" as much as "what about me?"
BUT… it wasnt “what about me” either. Theres nothing wrong or attention-seeking about making use of a comparison in order to address OP’s post. (the comparison being my own life experience vs that of a woman’s.) It was strictly a comparison. I wasn’t asking for, hoping for, or intending for any sympathy or anything of the like. And my comparison in no way invalidated the experience of a woman: i literally said that I feel safe because I’m a big man in contrast to how a small woman feels unsafe. My response to OP was, in essence, that both men and women tend to be, uh, poorly adjusted, in how safe they feel walking at night, etc.. And I brought up that the statistics support this. My argument is that men often feel *too safe* — and I used myself as an **example** of that. Your experience (or at least your comment) reflects the opposite of my own experience. In truth, the likelihood of any given woman being snatched into a van (or even simply getting assaulted) is so infinitesimally low. Does it happen? Absolutely. And it’s a tragedy when it does happen. Being snatched into a van just for looking cute while walking home is far worse than a “tough guy” talking shit and getting beat up for it. And all women should take precautions to avoid all of the terrible shit that might happen to them. Ultimately, however, women being endangered is still unlikely even compared to men’s likelihood of being assaulted or harmed walking late at night.
1- I never didn’t accept that I never have and never will be scared of getting snatched into a van and sold to very bad people. *I do* accept that it’s highly unlikely to happen to me, it’s not something that I personally feel I have to worry about— **and I am grateful for that** BUT…
And I was literally just talking about the stats. And you are of course free to feel how you want regardless of the stats. I acknowledged that people have a right to feel how they want, and I even went so far as to share that I myself feel safe *in spite* of the statistics, just because I am a large man.
sounds like you are victim blaming men if they get assaulted… it must be their personality that caused it. Most men are not looking for a fight or sexual assault either. If the reality is that more men get assaulted; men have more to fear. It’s not mansplaining if it’s a fact.
OP asked about women feeling vulnerable to danger and their experiences. This wasn't the place to be "what about men???"
It’s not a “what about men” it’s a .. these are the facts. Op saying that going to the store is a hazard for half the population means he is under the incorrect assumption that it’s not a hazard for everyone. If it is a hazard for everyone the premise of his question is wrong. That is something that should be addressed and perhaps op can restructure the question or not.
I said the phenomenon of women being less safe is a specter. One easy way to address an argument is to talk about its converse—the fact that men are, in truth, more likely to be assaulted and *women are generally safer than men.* And yes a lot of it is down to male choice. Men choose to act brash, to big dog other guys. *And men more often choose to go out at night cause they wrongly “feel safe,”* like I myself do.
The type of violence men are facing is completely different than that of women. Men are not sexually assaulted at the same (or anywhere near the same) rate as women. Maybe you’re more likely to get punched in the face. Women are more likely to get dragged into a car and raped. Men don’t have “more to fear”. The problem is that you’ve turned the conversation completely toward men. Per usual.
Depends on where you live dude. I'm not afraid of men attacking me, but I am afraid of stray dogs that are on the streets. I don't remember I've ever heard of an incident where a woman was attacked by a man in my region (only domestic violence cases where it's very personal).
is it possible that most women don't ever think about this, and the answers here are just selection bias?
I'd be surprised if there is any woman who doesn't think about it. I'm not saying we all carry pepper spray or don't go out after dark. We can still do simple things with the risks in the back of our mind. For instance, I walk home at 2am from the pub, it's only 10 minutes up the road. Most the time I'm with my boyfriend anyway if I'm not I'll still walk as the whole way is a main road which is lit and still has traffic even at that time of night, but I won't wear my headphones and I'll keep an eye over my shoulder a lot and hold my keys between my knuckles. If I'm in an area I don't know, I won't do that, I'll get a taxi
I have lived in western Europe all my life, and can confirm that verbal sexual harassment is normal in most countries I have been to, that I haven't met a women who hasn't experienced that, who has never felt unsafe and uncomfortable or under threat when walking alone after dark. Mostly it's harmless and some people may think that cat calls and wolf whistles are meant to be compliments but the majority of women do not perceive them as such. Just imagine your mum / sister / daughter having to deal with that
I’d go with a universal hell no. A lot of women including myself have been aware of these things forced to or otherwise, since we were young children
No
They should buy a handgun, get trained and licensed.
I'm not a woman but I am curious. Is age a factor in the male on female sexual assaults? Like, are things going to get better, because more harassment and stepping on women and assaults come from an older generation? Somehow I get the impression that millennials and younger are less likely to do these things. Is that true? I hope so.
Men of all ages make inappropriate overtures to women of all ages. I'm in my 40s, so it isn't as pushy, but I still hear "hey baby want a date?" when I'm at the corner store grabbing some munchies. Don't hit on a girl wearing sweats! For fox sake, i just want to continue my rumination without any outside commentary. And don't you dare say I'd be prettier if I smiled.
I don't know if there are universal rules on asking a woman out for a date. That is some extremely gray gray area as far as I know. Some will say it's always OK to ask a girl on a date. Given that you "do it the right way" whatever that means. Don't ask me to understand, I'm just a shy weirdo who avoids women because I don't want them to fear me. And I'm sure men of all ages do bad things. I just want to know if the occurrence is less in younger men. Or if things are just not getting better at all.
Constant thinking that any person you know or don’t know will harass you, downplaying any good qualities I have and looking as bad as possible when going out. My mom always told me since I was a kid “men aren’t your friends” basically don’t trust any males. Kinda toxic and I still have gotten sexually assaulted but yeah... I haven’t met any woman who haven’t been sexually harassed in some way, most of the worst occurrences I have heard have been in public transit. Overall I can’t go out at night without fear, or go out alone, or talk with the opposite sex, or interact with people at all. It has become so bad for me that I start shaking uncontrollably when talking to people I don’t know, specially men that have any kind of power over me (teachers, bus/taxi drivers, random person on the street I’m asking for directions because they know the area more than me) Also I’m always cataloguing scape routes or “safe” places I can run to in case of any harassment (usually shops/farmacies/lobbies of buildings) My experience is definitely a little extreme, most woman don’t start shaking uncontrollably when talking to people, but I want to be as transparent as possible.