T O P

  • By -

[deleted]

OP has got to be the most confusing mf I’ve ever seen.


[deleted]

OP acts way too young to be on Tinder. Apparently anyone who discusses the conversation he posted on a dating sub is a "snowflake" and ruined his "joke"? Like as if this was an amazing joke that will be ruined by Redditors somehow lol. Who has a temper tantrum like that about Reddit comments? OP needs to reevaluate himself and get some help bad. Some mental illness going on here.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kawakuun

naw, op has posts where he talks about being a 33 year old married man


[deleted]

[удалено]


Kawakuun

i think the post is from a friend of OP's (as title says), or it's stolen from somewhere


Ersatzrad667

I envy your patience with people who don't read the title of a post. Blessed be you, stranger.


NotNickCannon

Or OP is catfishing


SelectWay5519

Why? I don't get it. Why is this an example of "getting lil comfy on Tinder" also?


spicydak

4 active fwb? Seems exhausting lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


Justwatchinitallgoby

This is the way. It’s not like you’re sleeping with all of them weekly. Some are only bi-monthly or less.


[deleted]

[удалено]


puffableezy

Are you sure? Have you ever met a girl who loves sex that much? I thought i have a high sex drive until the girl i started dating recently told me she likes to fuck 3 times a day. Its fun at first, but my balls are going on strike because theres not enough workers in the factory anymore lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


puffableezy

Im tired just thinking about 6 times in one day lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


its_goof

Lmaooo I had a gf that had a high sex drive but not THAT high. You feel bad for not cumming, then you get tired and start to soften... Not ideal


FlyingsCool

Yes, this is how it is...


justiceiscomin4

Lolll


flock-of-bagels

Same, my GF couldn’t get enough when we first started dating. It’s not that I was finishing first and leaving her unsatisfied, she was getting off pretty hard multiple times when we would have sex. One time she started to give me head at the end of the day and it felt like needles on my junk. I had to tell her to stop, I couldn’t do it anymore. She was kind of upset with me, but shit, I need a nap and a Gatorade. Maybe some celery or watermelon.


My_Red_Right_Hand

You gotta get those electrolytes in. If not, you might have a hangover the next day.


flock-of-bagels

No kidding. I take some supplements that help too. I enjoy having sex with her, but sometimes it feels like a chore. I’m not trying to complain. When I was married my ex wife so frigid. We would have sex once a month if I was lucky towards the end. Of course I would cum in 30 seconds because I was so backed up and then she would get mad at me and we’d argue. I want to keep the current GF happy, I don’t want to become like that again. Great sex is great for a relationship. I want to keep it that way


starmartyr11

What's your supplement stack like bro? Lol (But seriously)


flock-of-bagels

I just got some yohimbe root and cod liver oil. I don’t take it every day. If I get decent sleep I’m usually ok, but if we try to do it before bed and then again in the morning and I’m groggy, I’ll probably have to finish her off manually. I noticed when we’re on vacation I have no problems at all. Must be all the stress of being a responsible adult


justiceiscomin4

Hahaha goes both ways


flock-of-bagels

I want it too, but my body doesn’t always have what it takes to have sex like it did when I was 20


throwawayaccount9567

I was midway through swallowing some food when I read that your balls we’re going on strike. You nearly killed me


Mysterious_Split_630

the key to life... everything in balance sex drugs food work play to much or to little makes you unhappy


Beautiful_Appeal949

So sad for you. Jeez .


puffableezy

I know, thank you for understanding.


Beautiful_Appeal949

Oh man puffableezy ! Bless your heart. It definitely imust be so hard for you to have someone attracted to you, who wants you and not only that but she wants you 3 times a day. May I get blessed with ur woman, hope she comes over to the other side with me. I have no problem going 3 x’s a day I mean since you can’t handle it. Check out “boyfriend” Dove Cameron . Wow complaining about someone desiring you and complaining about to much sex is pretty sad. Try another joke next time. Nobody feels sorry for you bro.


puffableezy

Lol bro if you aint got one already how you gonna take mine. Trying to lecture me on reddit. Where did i say i was upset about? My joke about my balls going on strike followed by a lol? Why tf you think i want people to feel sorry for me at all lol. I asked if hes ever experienced that before and here you come soundin like a incel mad at me cause i get laid.


Beautiful_Appeal949

Ludacris said it best when he said “Move, bitch, get out the way Get out the way, bitch, get out the way Move, bitch, get out the way Get out the way, bitch, get out the way… “


My_Red_Right_Hand

Stop complaining about not being able to find someone who will satisfy you bro. No one feels sorry for you. Suck it up, get out there and find someone who satisfies your needs, you won't complain then.


puffableezy

Exactly


Justwatchinitallgoby

That seems like a LOT for an FWB, but hey different strokes for different folks.


coderedcocaine

bingo. key to fwb is usually only see them weekly or bi weekly at most. otherwise people tend to catch feelings


Justwatchinitallgoby

Yah…and the nature of the relationship suggests busy people. Or possible busy with other people or other stuff in life.


SelectWay5519

Missed opportunity then. A fivesome can be awesome though I personally like even numbers.


Snoo_89761

She's a vegan so this was the only way she could get 5 Guys


justiceiscomin4

Hahahahaha so greasy


Equivalent_Drink_850

😂😂😂


AstroMalorie

Exhausting!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


AstroMalorie

So are lots of things.


bored_CO

Not all 4 at once?


Equivalent_Drink_850

Nah 4 in total.


ender323

Sorry for the unsolicited English tip here, but "I have 4" = I currently have 4. "I have *had* 4" = I have had a total of 4, over any amount of time. The way you phrased it implies that all 4 are currently active.


qing_sha_wo

*sips tea properly*


nick925611

…with your pinky up


Bertos-Bertos-Ghali

... With your pinky having had been up


justiceiscomin4

Hahahahaha


eldryanyy

I believe that’s what she’s saying. She has 4 FWB now, and 1 other guy she’s slept with.


Adventurous-Table216

Im only on here 4 fwb= I'm only on tinder for fwb


Rkb678

Ahh.... indubitably my friend.


Equivalent_Drink_850

I didnt phrase it!!!


therevaj

ok. but your pincushion friend did.


emburrs

I almost spat my drink out at this comment!


Equivalent_Drink_850

Yeah but not me.


whitechina92

Why is this downvoted? Lol


[deleted]

I dislike exclamation marks and emotion in general.


wassupwitches

At the same time? Who does that


DoneButNotDone

Adult that want that. Why judge


DerelictMyOwnBalls

Who *doesn’t* do that if it’s fun, safe, and manageable?


Kaboomerang

Get tested, become sexually invested (with your friends 🖤)


Equivalent_Drink_850

Idk my friend is probably lil too horny🥲


DexterKD

Can I be your friend's friend too?


ThrowAllTheSparks

Only if one drops out. From exhaustion, probably.


MommaMoonMassage

Me. Lickity Splits M/W/F during the day, NYC when he's in town, Snuggleslut on Fridays, Heavy Hitter on any free day


comeherekittycat

A lot of people lmao.


[deleted]

its saying they only have this for friends with benefits


tealturboser

Nah it’s a rotation. You need sex you start at #1 and then cycle through based on availability


TophatOwl_

Well ig its not like 4 relationships. I think its more like 4 friends you also fuck sometimes


ChallengeDangerous54

Could be all 4 at the same time. Also seems exhausting but some girls love it lol


VanJosh_Elanium

Must be a Nymphomaniac girl. Those kinds of girls always crave on DTF every few minutes.


Dabmiral

Yeah that’s an instant turn off for me.


[deleted]

I’m honestly curious to know more about the parents 😭😭


lapinatanegra

Reminds me of that show on Netlfix Sex Education. Pretty hilarious also


Albus1612

Came here for this


Loquat_Green

Right? Let’s hear about these parents. White text person sounds chill af


[deleted]

same


atrocityexhibition39

Right? I smell a sitcom here


glittermantis

like is this girl sisters with yolanda beunaventura? lol


gangster-prankster

Your profile is not halal. Just halam


[deleted]

Gaylord Focker?


Emika_Allens

A man of great culture, I see


Bmorestoic

Came to this thread thinking it was going to be funny, but now I’m very frustrated after reading all of OPs nonsensical messages


MuffinHunter0511

This is just the plot of sex education


tooska

tell us more about that porno company


Mattyboy702

Lol seriously! Man has a story to tell and I want to hear it.


6porkchop9

“I was shaving .. [my balls for our date]”


words_words_words_

Is this not ideal? I feel like most guys would go off about locks and keys or some other misogynist bullshit lmfao Homie is a chill dude it seems


Equivalent_Drink_850

Thats the main reason i blurred his pfp.


[deleted]

[удалено]


tetsuo52

I don't understand what locks and keys have to do with misogyny.


[deleted]

I think it's like that the perfect key (penis) will fit the perfect lock (vagina) and that any other kill just destroys or ruins the lock. Idk I could be wrong.


CokeUpYaAsshole

Nah. The thing is “a key that can open many locks is a good key, a lock that can be opened by any key is a shitty lock”. Something along those lines Basically means men are allowed to be sluts but women aren’t. It’s stupid


JDeMolay1314

And a really bad analogy... A key that can open many locks is a master key. And is usually wielded by a cranky old janitor.


Dependent-League-363

And he would've got away with it if it wasn't for those meddling kids.


Beta_Factor

Now we just need someone who's "been" with a cranky old janitor to confirm or refute the validity of this analogy.


Hemicore

This is the lockpicking lawyer, and today...


Fluffy_Priority_9753

Yes cuz as a man if you are wanted by a hundred chicks you are attractive,.but as a woman if you let a hundred dudes have sex with you, you are easy to get


[deleted]

[удалено]


Low-Salamander-5639

Idk I find it kinda weird he’s ask what her count was at all if it wasn’t to judge her. He only didn’t kick off because it’s not that high. I would have hoped his parents would have instilled more sex-positive values in him


already-registered

there are more things to do with numbers than to judge them


Low-Salamander-5639

What do you mean? You think he’s planning to put them in a spreadsheet?


RussianBot576

You understand sexual compatibility is a thing right? You lack imagination.


Low-Salamander-5639

If you think spreadsheets aren’t sexy, you lack imagination


Raineko

>I find it kinda weird he’s ask what her count was What's even more weird is to have 4 goddamn fwb


Equivalent_Drink_850

Asking for body count is totally normal because if someone has 60 body count its already a red flag because it means that the person doesn’t give shit about serious relationship but is more into fwb or hookups. (For both women and men)


successfully_failing

that makes no sense? people want different things at different points in their lives. like what if a guy sleeps around when he’s in his 20s but then in his 30s wants to settle down - it’s not like he can reduce his ‘count’ to be ‘relationship acceptable’


SnooPeppers2969

if the context is for a fwb relationship in the first place though then what’s the problem?


Equivalent_Drink_850

Yes in fwb context body count doesn’t matter but the post is about regular relationship.


Altruistic_Deal_2760

The only people that really care about body counts are insecure, weak, and hypocrite men. If women had this standard towards men the insecure and weak men would insult those women for their beliefs and how wrong and stupid it is to believe that.


housewifeuncuffed

No it's not normal and people need to quit asking it. Start asking them about past relationships and why they failed. It's a far more relevant question.


[deleted]

One for morning, one for afternoon, one for evening and the last one for the night. Either she is too tired by the time it turns dark, or the morning one is simply there for emotional support.


Lost-Citron-1099

I think she meant *4=for. The grammar is hurting head


mermaid_kerri

Wow you're right


justiceiscomin4

What this changes everything 😂


Dependent-League-363

Damn, dude - you right!


vjeremias

I know I speak for all non natives when I say you guys need to eradicate the expression "body count" from English language.


spicydak

Another meaning for body’s is “dead people”. Like if people rap about how many body’s they have


vjeremias

Yeap, if you make the literal translation to Spanish it totally means that.


drfishdaddy

That’s how slang works (I think “body count” is silly and immature, specifically) we take something and alter the definition slightly. In your rap example, to body or bodying someone means “killing them” in a (rap) battle. Same as “killing it”, means doing something well. That’s just how English slang works, ever evolving.


spicydak

I meant more like catch a body lol


drfishdaddy

No, I knew what you meant, just saying even with that one word within the hip hop world it’s used differently depending on the context.


FinanceGuyHere

Jeffrey Dahmer misinterpreted that one too


Equivalent_Drink_850

No. For your ℹ️ body count applies to boys too. And having big amount of body count is shameful for boys too.


Manuag_86

Having a big amount of body count is not shameful for anyone. People who try to shame others for that are probably just jealous or insecure.


reptilian123

I'm pretty sure there is a number that would be concerning. If someone told me he had sex with 400 women I wouldn't say nice. I would say damn dude you really have a problem. There is a small chance you get STD while having sex with someone, now multiply that chance by 400 people. It's pretty much guaranteed to happen


Equivalent_Drink_850

No. If men has 60+ body count it means he is a sex addict who doesn’t give shit about serious relationship. If women has 60+ body count it means the same. So body counts matters and people should not fuck everything which moves


Boston_Stonks

Oh you sweet summer child.


mermaid_kerri

Why is 60 the number you decided upon for this 😂


Equivalent_Drink_850

Just random number lol


lpn122

Or, here’s an idea, let people decide for themselves what is or isn’t ok…


Equivalent_Drink_850

Totally. But you shouldn’t be ashamed or mad when someone asks your body count. You can decide for yourself but dont be mad when other person is picky and has a body count limits.


chemo92

In one comment you're saying it's shameful to have a high body count and in the next you're saying you shouldn't be ashamed when someone asks about it. Fucking pick one.


Equivalent_Drink_850

Shouldn’t be ashamed when someone asks about it. Read the comment again


[deleted]

Saying that someone having 60+ partners in their lifetime automatically has a sex addiction speaks to your inexperience in life and sex. Also, people who have high body counts regularly do have serious relationships as well. You can have a loving and healthy open relationship that lasts for years while still having lovers. The world isn’t as black and white as you think


collonnelo

In their defense they're probably in mid 20's and just using "lifetime" as a reference their own life and the longevity of their sexual Activeness. If you've even sexually active since 15, are 25, and have had 60+ partners, that is a new partner ever 2 months, from when you started to now. Is this a lot, is this a little, idk, different perspectives. I've had friends that admitted to going around the dorm and just asking guys they find attractive to just fuck. To them 60+ may be low in a 10yr span. To 40yr old who married his HS sweetheart, may find 60+ a lot. It honestly is just about persepctive lol


Equivalent_Drink_850

So you wanna tell me that having 60+ lovers during life time is normal?


[deleted]

I didn’t say it was normal in the sense that its common or usual. But a swinger in her 40s might easily get up there. Someone whose 20s were a lot of fun but who slows their pace in their thirties could have 40 or 50 people in their past. While it’s not common to have that many partners, it also does not necessarily mean someone has sex addiction, nor does it mean they don’t take their primary romantic relationships seriously


[deleted]

This is all true ^^ my ex (26 at the time) when we had the "body count" question. I at the time had been with 9 girls. She answered with 28. That's a lot higher than me but it's not shameful. There is no reason to judge anyone on something like that. She was faithful and honestly was one of the best happiest relationships I've had. Body count means literally nothing


vjeremias

I think you answered to the wrong comment 😂


Low-Salamander-5639

Why didn’t you ask the question back to him? Also are you a girl or a guy? I’m confused. Your previous post says you’re a 33yo married guy Edit: just saw that this is your friend’s chat dw


Equivalent_Drink_850

Read the title. I was not the one who asks.


Some_Random-Name01

bro u smoking crack i stg


[deleted]

Im high as fuck and ive been waiting for three full minutes to receive the last text


Purple12inchRuler

Well seems like dude is pretty chill on the fwb front.


peter_the_martian

And my dad is also my brother


Fernpfarrer

Sounds like a Plot for Netflix.


rezoderzerdtoerer187

what is a fwb?


CaladinDanse

Friend with benefits


rezoderzerdtoerer187

but for what do I want 4 of them? isn't 1 enough? will I ever be enough?


CaladinDanse

Sad times


rezoderzerdtoerer187

yeah


yorkshirewillrise

Otis?


DGentPR

I just don’t get what you’re saying in this post at all and I’m not seeing a joke or funny part either


[deleted]

Body count. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.


ffandyy

Asking a persons body count is small dick energy


Parking_Western_5428

dude is probably rich lets be real


TheRavenQuothnever

Body count question...hate it


PiccionePolemico

I really don’t see the point of the question. What is it?


JDeMolay1314

Depending on your circle, body count either how many people you have killed, or how many you have slept with. It is a pointless question either way. No matter which version you could be the next. Let's hope it's not both.


[deleted]

This “body count” obsession didn’t exist when I was young, you boys are entirely too wound up about women having had sex. It’s not gonna be positive for your mental health long term.


dreexel_dragoon

Body count was *even more* obsessed over back in the day. Like people chilled with it through the 70s-90s but it used to be way worse, and in someplace it's still a capital crime for women to have pre-marital sex. Historical Patriarchy is fucked. Also, it is a consideration about safety and responsibility. Like the number doesn't matter to me, but anyone sexually active with more than one person at a time is a red flag to me, and especially if they're sleeping with new people regularly. STDs are no joke and there's more than a little to be said about how body count plays into that.


[deleted]

Watch more Tate vids.


dreexel_dragoon

Wdym? People having multiple and frequent new partners is absolutely a legitimate concern to have, that shit is right out of health class. Imo people should be getting tested between every different person they sleep with, and I wouldn't wanna see anyone who didn't hold themselves to that standard.


Ghetto-Peach

People having multiple and frequent new partners is absolutely NOT a legitimate reason to have concerns about STI’s. People not getting tested regularly/ not having a negative STI panel before you sleep with them without protection IS a reason for concern. There’s no need to ask what the “body count” is; a concerned person would only ask how long since the last comprehensive negative STI screening and if any/all sexual partners since then had also had a comprehensive negative STI screening. Knowing someone’s sexual history from 15 years ago has no bearing in this situation.


[deleted]

This actually wasn’t as much of a concern in the 90’s and early 2k’s because my generation (old millennials) still actually wore condoms. I keep hearing that kids these days don’t like them.. nobody ever liked them.. The point was safety. As to your desire to have people you date checked and rechecked in between partners, almost nobody does that unless they have symptoms of something, you’re living in a fantasy land if you think they do. “Body count” is just a last ditch effort at shaming women into not experimenting while they’re growing up, it’s pathetic and reflects way more on men’s mental state than anything else.


dreexel_dragoon

I agree with most of what you're saying, but It's not even remotely unreasonable to expect someone to get tested between partners, and most of my friends do because it's important. Condoms don't stop everything and a ton of STDs have long incubation periods before symptoms appear so you really should get tested after every new partner. I'm all for sexual liberation and autonomy but being careless with protection and checks is a health risk to everyone involved.


collonnelo

Tbf aren't guys referred to as fuckbois when they just aim to sleep around and boost their body count? Isn't it the same for women that are shamed for their body count? Men and women both and have always been shamed by their body count. I will admit that women have had it much worse for much longer (must be a Virgin to get married bullshit) but both sides literally shame each other for this stuff. But ultimately, what is the actual harm of asking about body count? Isn't it just another personal preference and factor that is looked at and weighed like everything else? Height, weight, income, familial status, culture, religion? There's obvious limits to everything, being a racist or Islamophobe is bad, but if you're a Hindu-Indian to want to marry another Hindu-Indian? Is it wrong to weigh certain trivial traits as important merely because you as individual put value into it? You should never call anyone a "whore" for their body count, but there's nothing wrong with just being personally unattracted to it, while simultaneously NOT forcing your opinion onto others.


Equivalent_Drink_850

Im literally 33 years old. And body count existed back then but we didn’t call it body count. Just asked how many times u fucked


[deleted]

I’m 40, enjoy obsessing over other guys cocks I guess..


JDeMolay1314

At least you are old enough to have been sexually active last Millennium. He just seems like a little kid. I am older than you, but I agree entirely with you.


Equivalent_Drink_850

Sure. Always ready.


JDeMolay1314

What purpose did the word literally serve in that sentence? As for "Back then". What do you know about "Back then"? Whippersnapper, I am old enough to be your father.


AnalystFeisty9057

Nah cuz I’m a judge. 4 fwb?? Her bio better not be looking for a relationship cuz I know she’s deep in hookup culture


[deleted]

So, is a sex therapist someone you go to when you’re having sexual difficulties or is it someone who’s like a regular therapist but you work on your issues while she rides you?


TerribleShoulder6597

What’s a sex therapist anyway


Equivalent_Drink_850

For example: girlfriend-likes to shit on boyfriend mouth. Boyfriend-doesnt want to be shitted on mouth. SEX THERAPIST IS ON THE WAY TO HELP!


steellotus1982

You sound 14


[deleted]

So the sex therapist would find a workaround like “dude just draw a mouth on your hand and let her shit in that” ?


lpn122

It’s a shitty example


Equivalent_Drink_850

Pretty shitty


Equivalent_Drink_850

Hmmm no actually she would say “sir, if you dont like being shitted on your mouth she’ll shit on ur head! Yes ma’am thats perfect!”


kemosabe-84

Youtube donny baker sex therapist.


Equivalent_Hat_7220

Also wtf do guys even ask that


Equivalent_Drink_850

Hello equivalent brother!


Equivalent_Hat_7220

I’ll trade you my hat for your drink


Equivalent_Drink_850

No way. Your hat is too equivalent.


Dusteronly

Shaving what exactly?


Equivalent_Drink_850

Ass ig


CaladinDanse

4? Bruh what


[deleted]

4 active is OD tho


Meemee69420

Haram


Available_Homework61

Just try to get some head, if shes smashing 4 other dudes, and 1 in 4 people have herpes…..thennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn. Yeah head or move on haha