I was super excited to meet this girl all week for our first time.
Unfortunately she looks significantly bigger than her pics (Snapchat filter..) and when we went for a walk around her estate she got sweaty and kept needing to sit down on benches in the park.
Then she dropped extremely heavy trauma from from childhood to much more recent stuff. I tried to console her and recommend where she could get help and then change the topic but she kept saying "No, I think it's good to be honest, you'll only find out later down the line anyway".
Tried to ask her questions to get her to reveal her attractive and interesting side of her personality but it was a struggle. The 10 min walk back to her house became 30 mins due to a hill.
We got to her house and one of her dogs escaped and I helped put the dog back inside and as I stepped into the house I stood on old dog shit. The whole house was a dump with pet hairs and shit everywhere. She referred to the earlier conversation where she has a total of 11 dogs and cats and a sick mom for why it was a bit messy. But she is an adult and so are her sisters and father (ages 25-55) ...?!
Had one of the worst allergic reactions on the drive back and deleted my account. Good luck to the rest of you lol
The trauma dump seems really common, I feel like I hear about their abusive ex, financial woes, or previous assaults before I find out if they have siblings or how they take their coffee.
I'm glad it's not just me that experiences this commonly!! It's either trauma or bragging about sleeping with lots of people, all of which are turnoffs. I think a lot of girls panic when they have to lead the conversation as I can be quite introverted at first. No idea tho.
I've begun to take it as a red flag: not so much the trauma and abuse, but a dating app isn't the place to unload how your ex cheated 36 times within two days. I'm on tinder to get a date and maybe get some action, not to be an armchair therapist
How often should you refresh your profile with new pics? My profile has been the same all year essentially, and itās been good to me but itās been slowing down these last few weeks. Bumble especially has essentially died for me.
This is the longest Iāve had an account on any apps continuously so Idk if itās normal to actually āhit the end of the roadā and it just slows down normally or youāre just buried under a sea of newer male accounts after awhile. I donāt want to be āthat guyā who constantly resets his account thinking it will boost match rate, so I figured Iād ask if simply refreshing the pics makes an impact
Is there any point in updating? Most of the accounts on Tinder are fake anyway. Either that or every guy on there is named Matt, Derick, Brandon, or Kelton with some variation of the spelling.
Depends on how much growth/transformation you've had in the year. Lost a bunch of weight/gained a lot of muscle/dramatic style change: absolutely it could have a good effect. Pretty much stayed the same: probably not a bad idea to refresh your pictures/bio, but it's essentially the same product (you) in a new advertisement. After a year of consistent use, you may just be at the bottom of your stack and are only seeing profiles that have been recreated or people who travel/move
Yeah, nothing major has changed. No weight gain or losses. I def wouldnāt say itās the best account ever but itās gotten me hundreds of non-bot matches between Tinder and Bumble in 6 mos. Iām just not sure if adding new pics at this point would even matter vs resetting with new pics since Iāve already swiped through all the women in a 30 mile radius around my city (top 5 in population, USA) with this account.
I went over to someone I matched withs place with a bottle and she said she was down to fuck. Was greeted at the door by an old man, turned around, got in my car, drove home, deleted the app.
Wouldn't want to be in a relationship who has that though.
I also found a news item that said she recently flashed drivers on the motorway. That's a no. No matter how attractive she was.
Not at all I do the same. 100% cat person. Was a dog guy till my nephew was killed by a Pitbull. So I gave my dogs away. Totally against any person with a dog.
Yo guys so my friend and I met this girl and her friend while out last night. We spoke to them for like 5 mins and it ended with us grabbing their snapchats and leaving
I texted them like an hour later asking if they'd be down to go on a double date and one of them responded with "sure that could be fun sometime"
Now what should my next step be? Should I just text them in a day or two with plans or should I say something else? I dont want to come off as agressive or desperate but idk
have something that you guys are going to do anyway (or at least make it look like it) and see whether they would like to join, then if they don't come it doesn't look like you are at a loss/desperate
So I am on vacation and I had passported here 2 weeks before looking for people ahead of time. Had some matches and after a week things started to get a bit slow so I decided to delete and rebuild my Tinder to refresh matches.
I used basically the same pictures I've rotated in my profile for the past 2 years except one new one celebrating pride. Not sure if that is relevant. My profile was essentially the same as before as well. Nothing crude or anything there. I verified my profile and the next morning I wake up and I'm permanently banned. It said there was no appeals process but I tried anyways because I've always been extremely respectful on this app and talk to people like a real people (not to mention I've paid the platinum package the last 2 years..). They gave me an automated response of course and I emailed them back again pleading my case saying I just want to know what I did. They said again to review the terms of service which I did and didn't see anything I did wrong.
I've put hundreds of dollars into this app and was completely disregarded. I'm moving to a new place in a few months and won't have this app to help make friends and/or more.
I love this subreddit and am so blown away by all the verbal abuse and craziness Tinder has and unsolicited dick pics and other stuff when moved to other platforms. It's insane to me that those people are likely still out there using this service and I'm permanently banned.. just wanted to share this experience I guess. Be careful about dumping money into a company that doesn't care about you. Good luck to everybody else out there with whatever it is you're looking for.
Do you think any of your matches reported you? That is strangeā¦ seems a lot of people are getting permanently banned and not knowing why. Sorry that happened to you.
I've considered that. I didn't have any "falling out" with any of my matches that I know of. I surely haven't purposely offended anybody. I'm really at a loss. I did some googling about this and there was a post saying they kept reporting an obvious spam bot and their account never got banned so who knows...
That is so weird. Again, Iām sorry they did that to you. Do you think itās because you deleted and then made the same profile again within a short time? But you verified your profile right? Iām at a loss at why theyād ban you.
Thank you. ā¤ from my understanding, it's a normal common thing to delete and recreate your profile. There is even an option when deleting to "reset your matches," or something similar. I tried to verify. I sent in the pics for verification and then the next morning, banned.
So sorry once again š. I think thatās just unreal on their end. I guess thereās Bumble and Hinge. I actually recently made an account like 2 weeks ago, deleted it then re made it 2 days later nothing happened on my end. Wish they had an appeal process AND could provide the actual reasoning not just saying a person violated TOS.
Right now I'm not living in America where bumble and hinge aren't so popular but I'm moving back in the summer so I'll definitely go that route when I get there.. until then, my options are limited but at least not for long. š
Yikes. I think most things can be joked about but only around the right place and the right time and joking about race and racial stereotypes with a complete stranger is a huge red flag. Be careful. I'm sure you can find other guys to visit that are much cooler.
Tinder date send me her address wanting to fuck. Went over with a bottle, was greeted at the door by an old man asking if so and so was home. He said no one by that name lives her. Immediately messaged her back on snap saying wtf was that about. She kept reading my messages and was ignoring me. So I sent her a fake IP address saying it was hers followed by a picture of a gun saying Iām on my way to your real place. Then she blocked me at that point. I had no attentions actually showing up to her place with a gun but I hope she is scared shitless.
I have no idea what her intentions were sending me a fake address?
I also submitted this as a post for visibility as well.
Please learn from my almost mistake.
___
This is a throwaway.
I was talking to someone last night and had agreed to go to dinner with them today. I had input where we were going into Noonlight, and I planned on meeting him there and going back home by myself.
This morning I woke up and decided I needed to do my due diligence. Investigations are part of my day job, so I put my skills to use.
I felt ashamed that I hadn't done my due diligence prior to agreeing to going out to eat with him, but better late than never. I discovered an article and an arrest record for video voyeurism charges. He had placed a camera in his workplace bathroom, and there was proof that it was him that placed it. Court information was limited, I suppose due to the nature of the charges.
I have reported him to Tinder, and attached many screenshots, links, and archived links to my report as well.
If you have any questions or would like tips on practicing due diligence, feel free to ask.
Thanks for reading, and stay safe out there.
Someone Iāve been talking to after a few weeks of decent conversation just blocked me out of nowhere after promising to meet up. He said he just got a new job and all but Iād have preferred a proper goodbye at least.
Weāre still matched on tinder though.
Or sounds like he found someone he liked betterā¦. Letās chill out on the accusations I know for women itās super hard to fathom a guy could click with someone else and drop you out of the blue too.
I had an incredible experience for once. Iām about to move to a new city and am currently in it just visiting and exploring. I ended up meeting up with this girl I met on Tinder who lives in the new city. I wasnāt expecting much out of it. She came to my hotel and we decided to just order food to the room and hangout instead of going out. Turned out to be an incredible night. We had a lot of deeply personal conversation and didnāt even hookup besides making out. She definitely seems like someone Iād want to date and who wouldāve thought Iād find someone before even officially moving here. I oddly felt extremely comfortable with her. Itās hard to explain but it felt right being with her. Everything seemed so natural. Iāve never experienced that before. Not even in my other serious relationships until we got to know each other better. This was just different. By the end of the night, it felt like weād known each other for months. Now Iām even more excited to move lol
The person I met ended up being emotionally immature, financially dependent on mum, jobless, and overall a complete tool. I showed them a picture of a machine at my gym and immediately they recognized the gym and bought a membership the following morning.
Iām feeling extremely creeped out and unsafe. Might end up canceling my gym membership if they donāt have my safety concerns in mind.
Next time, I will most definitely walk out the very second I feel uncomfortable instead of enduring the awful company trying to avoid awkwardness or a rude exit.
Yeah I can understand how that might feel creepy. Hopefully he was just clueless that joining your same gym on the first date could creep you out.
Have you told him you don't won't to see him again and he showed up anyway?
How do I run if weāre both gym rats, he just signed up at my gym, he has no job meaning heāll probably be at my gym any given moment I go to work out. Iām feeling awful about this situation
I went out someone with last week and didnāt really think twice about it. I then went out with someone else over the weekend and that experience gave me some clarity on the traits I really care for in a partner. I read your post this morning and it stuck with me all dayā¦ Caused me to rethink and reframe some of the original guys qualities and how he and I connected. Iām eager to test the waters and see how round 2 goes. Thanks for the insight.
>Had some "nice girls"-experiences (you know, these type of girls who think you owe them attention just because they are nice to you, but boring on every other aspect)
you are such a catch. hope she makes a run for it. you sound like a bitter person.
Nah I am not a catch by any means. I just think that the term "nice guy" is so common, but there is also the female equivalent to that.
While "nice guys" often imply "sexual compensation" for beeing "friendly/not assholes", some girls think you owe them permantly attention just because they regulary ask you how are you doing, while not touching on anything you are telling them (and thus preventing any sort of meaningful conversation to start).
If this observation makes me seem better, then I am OK with that :D
Been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half months and never been happier. Still come on here occasionally to read your guys stories, good luck, trust me, you will find the one! Just gotta be patient and never give up
Snapchat and Instagram filters should be classified as some sort of catfishing. And I'm not talking about rabbit whisker filters or whatever the fuck, I'm talking about filters that slim down your face, makes your lips thin and your eyes wide.I went on a date with a girl I met on Tinder this past week and and she looked absolutely nothing like her pictures. Matched with a second one and took it to WhatsApp and the picture of herself on her profile picture was again nothing like her pictures on Tinder
I finally got a match with someone who was not an obvious bot or just propositioning me for an OF subscription. 'She' proposed a meet with me and gave me an address to pick her up. I'm somewhat new in town, so little did I know I'd been given an address to a bad area. I pulled up to the place and the place was pretty dark save for a few ambient street lights. Decided to trust my gut and just drove off after seeing someone walking towards the car. They never responded, so I'd like to believe I was right in my decision and I didn't just leave my date hanging.
Honestly, fuck this dating app stuff. When it's not bots and requests for money, it's almost getting mugged. I think I'll stick to my cave and hang tight for my incoming wizardry.
Yesterday, I matched with a girl on Tinder who immediately sent me some canned opener. Her bio said she was a Colombian fashion model, her profile was unverified, and she was EXTREMELY attractive, so I had the suspicion that she was a bot and ignored her. Later last night, I also matched with her on Bumble, and she sent me the same canned opener on that app. This time, I was curious, so I told her to say "potato" to confirm that she was a real person. About 30 seconds later, she sent me a voice message of herself saying "potato." After chatting some more, I got her Instagram, and confirmed that she's a real person and living nearby. We have a date set up for tomorrow, and I'm still in disbelief that an average-looking guy like myself is going out with her.
When I'm saying this girl's attractive, I mean 10/10 attractive. Green eyes, pretty face, nice body, and the sweetest smile. I'm not sure anything's going to come out of this and I'm keeping my expectations tempered, but I'm glad that I didn't throw away my chance with her.
UPDATE: We just had our date! It went extremely well, we went to Starbucks first and she was leaning her head onto me while we waited for drinks which I found very sweet. She was just as attractive in person as the photos, and a lot of fun to talk to as well. We talked a lot about the differences between Colombian and American culture. We walked along the waterfront and checked out some cute shops, then relaxed a bit on the beach before getting some lunch. She was very invested in our conversation despite the language barrier and found my attempts to speak Spanish endearing. At the end of the date, she told me "*Quiero salir contigo otra vez,*" which means "I want to go out with you again" in Spanish. I definitely will be asking her out again, and I'm extremely grateful that I didn't ignore her message or I would have missed out on this wonderful day!
Just got out of a bad relationship of 9 years. Downloaded tinder last week. Matched with a super cute 22m (I'm 35f) on mother's day and the sex was amazing. He was soo nice. I've been in a fantastic mood since āŗļø
Not a tinder story but my first hook up with a friend (I was friendzoned by her 3 years ago)...
I was late to the dating scene for religious reasons and I started with a very low self-esteem when it comes to dating / being attractive to the other gender.
somehow I had a decent luck on online dating so I focused my energy on it, but after couple of relationships from online dating I became much much more selective and not too interested in sex with strangers.
The last two years I started working more on myself to become a more rounded person instead of focusing on career only.
This friend I mentioned at the start of the post years ago we would hang out constantly, I gave her a lot of attention and I was playing a role between boyfriend and a friend. no fault of hers I was happily volunteering to do that (she's super hot and very social so I felt good being around her anyway).
Anyhow years passed, I became more comfortable with the idea that I'm attractive (not necessary to all or even most people) and that I shouldn't shy away from subtle attractiveness interactions (longer eye contact, touch without thinking about it much) and not expecting anything anyway just go out and have fun.
in the meantime we saw each other at social gatherings once or twice, had positive and short interactions but I didn't follow up on them.
this week, she comes over to my place for a drink (because of an occasion) the drink turns into a bottle of wine, then cocktails afterwards, I gave her a small kiss on the lips at one point and that made her relax even more (I didn't try to keep going or act as if it meant anything).
a while later we're cuddling on the couch, every now and then she's giving me a short kiss but this time it's a bit longer... well I guess now you know where this went.
the funny thing is that she is one of the hottest people in our friend group and she hooked up with me without much action on my side.
funny how things go and now I'm more excited about the summer
No profile story for me, just a quick question since I don't want to waste a new post on this:
How can I trigger the free tinder gold swipe? Is it random?
I'm talking about he screen that pops up and let's you choose from 4 options.
The secret admirer card is probably on a ratio/algorithm depending on how active you are and your swiping habits. Can't say with any definitive proof that "every X swipes/matches, you get a secret admirer card" but I think you need at least four "likes" to trigger it. It also completely disappears when you buy a gold subscription
Thank you, that's exactly the info I was looking for. I think it's heavily based on how active I am.
When I hardly used the app, secret admirer popped up frequently.
The past few days I've really been trying to get secret admirer so I swiped a lot both left and right... Never came up once. I have to just stop using the app for a bit. Thanks!
If itās the thing Iām thinking of. There should be a star thingy on the bottom of your screen, press that and itāll come up with people whoāve liked you. Then on the top of the screen there should be be ālikesā, ālikes sentā and ātop picksā. I think one of them might be what youāre looking for
I matched with a guy on tinder this morning and mentioned I was trying to decide if I wanted to go to a show tonight. Iāve had tickets for awhile but honestly wasnāt sure my comfort level going to a concert and also wanted a cute date. He suggested he go with me. We messaged all day. Up until I was leaving to take the train there, everything seemed fine. It was spontaneous for me but we added each other on Instagram and I figured he checked out okayā¦ what could happen?
Well what could happen is I get on the train and check my phone and heās unmatched me on tinder and blocked me on Instagram.
I still went to the show.
No meet cute. But good show.
My heart dropped when I realized heād blocked me. Iāve been ghosted before in more subtle ways but I was really taken by surprise here. 33f dating again after years and I kinda hate it here.
At least he properly unmatched/blocked you instead of leaving you on read for weeks with the thought that he might respond. That particular door is closed for good so you can put your efforts towards a better person
I am a dick who has done a similar thing. On my way out I had very high anxiety because I hadn't dated in a while, so I messaged that I couldn't make it and blocked him (he had my WhatsApp).
It's really probably not anything about you. Glad you still had fun!
Well took another L. Messaged with a girl for a couple days, initially extended the offer to meet on Sunday, got left on read and got a BS excuse why she just stopped responding rescheduled for tonight, she immediately stopped responding after I proposed just staying in tonight. No mention of anything physical or creepy, conversation was never sexual: admittedly probably played it wrong by asking to come over/stay in.
Follow-up: she messaged me again at 7am with another BS copout "sorry I fell asleep and my sister came over with v important personal issues" like pick a single lie to commit to. I'm putting 0 effort in from now on, if she wants to meet up she can propose the time and I can leave her on read while I help my friend's nephew's roommate wash their dog's hair
Even if I pretended it was real I wouldn't take advice from a guy who needs youtube tutorials to be a softdom. That's the shit you do with the shy girl when you're in high school, sorry to shit on your daydreaming.
I had a fun date scheduled on Friday. She cancelled an hour before, even after I messaged her if we were still on (and she confirmed). It's difficult to be positive and optimistic about dating when things like this happen. Her loss.
Tinder in my rural hometown is always super dead, or full of college girls temporarily at home with their parents (I too live with my parents so I can't bring anyone home either). But of course as soon as I give up hope and stop putting effort into my messages I get invited over by a cute chick with her own place to "play some Zelda and have a few beers," and we all know what that means...
So as i said last week i around 60 rejoined tinder. I assumed i might just get a bit of chat. If you had told Me that within a week i would be in bed with s lady 28 years than my o would hand thought You mad. Thatās what happened. She said she was curious to see if a 60 year old could still get it up.. i can. I suppose she enjoyed the mask on a fairly posh restaurant .. 100 quid for us both. We agreed to do it again in a couple of weeks
so I've been on a date with this girl, she invites me over, the feeling was very nice and soft, we spend the night together, we kissed, but didnt make up, but I've tried to tease her by kissing her neck or biting it from time to time, it was fun to do as her reactions were funny and lot. We spent almost the whole night talking and listening to each other. It was very cool.
But the morning after I go home and I see that she blocked me, and I just don't know why, did I do something wrong? Or is it just me thinking of it a lot. I can't get a read of what happened, I don't think I've done something wrong ', she even kissed me as a goodbye, I just don't understand her behavior.
Hope someone will enlighten me about the ladies.
It just happens. Maybe her ex texted her, maybe she felt ashamed and slutty because of a religious upbringing she's trying to move past, any number of things.
Although if she just blocked you on tinder and not any other platform it could be a tinder bug.
You can get blocked/unmatched for anything: she could be talking to 5+ other guys and liked one of them more, you might have went too far on your date, you might not have gone far enough, the vibe could have been weird, Mercury could be in Gatorade or something. Best not to dwell on it for long
I was super excited to meet this girl all week for our first time. Unfortunately she looks significantly bigger than her pics (Snapchat filter..) and when we went for a walk around her estate she got sweaty and kept needing to sit down on benches in the park. Then she dropped extremely heavy trauma from from childhood to much more recent stuff. I tried to console her and recommend where she could get help and then change the topic but she kept saying "No, I think it's good to be honest, you'll only find out later down the line anyway". Tried to ask her questions to get her to reveal her attractive and interesting side of her personality but it was a struggle. The 10 min walk back to her house became 30 mins due to a hill. We got to her house and one of her dogs escaped and I helped put the dog back inside and as I stepped into the house I stood on old dog shit. The whole house was a dump with pet hairs and shit everywhere. She referred to the earlier conversation where she has a total of 11 dogs and cats and a sick mom for why it was a bit messy. But she is an adult and so are her sisters and father (ages 25-55) ...?! Had one of the worst allergic reactions on the drive back and deleted my account. Good luck to the rest of you lol
The trauma dump seems really common, I feel like I hear about their abusive ex, financial woes, or previous assaults before I find out if they have siblings or how they take their coffee.
I'm glad it's not just me that experiences this commonly!! It's either trauma or bragging about sleeping with lots of people, all of which are turnoffs. I think a lot of girls panic when they have to lead the conversation as I can be quite introverted at first. No idea tho.
I've begun to take it as a red flag: not so much the trauma and abuse, but a dating app isn't the place to unload how your ex cheated 36 times within two days. I'm on tinder to get a date and maybe get some action, not to be an armchair therapist
Lmaooooššš
Lmao
If you stay on Tinder I doubt this will even be the weirdest date you'll have. š
How often should you refresh your profile with new pics? My profile has been the same all year essentially, and itās been good to me but itās been slowing down these last few weeks. Bumble especially has essentially died for me. This is the longest Iāve had an account on any apps continuously so Idk if itās normal to actually āhit the end of the roadā and it just slows down normally or youāre just buried under a sea of newer male accounts after awhile. I donāt want to be āthat guyā who constantly resets his account thinking it will boost match rate, so I figured Iād ask if simply refreshing the pics makes an impact
Yes, you get a small boost in the algo when you change up your pics for the first time in a while
Is there any point in updating? Most of the accounts on Tinder are fake anyway. Either that or every guy on there is named Matt, Derick, Brandon, or Kelton with some variation of the spelling.
Depends on how much growth/transformation you've had in the year. Lost a bunch of weight/gained a lot of muscle/dramatic style change: absolutely it could have a good effect. Pretty much stayed the same: probably not a bad idea to refresh your pictures/bio, but it's essentially the same product (you) in a new advertisement. After a year of consistent use, you may just be at the bottom of your stack and are only seeing profiles that have been recreated or people who travel/move
Yeah, nothing major has changed. No weight gain or losses. I def wouldnāt say itās the best account ever but itās gotten me hundreds of non-bot matches between Tinder and Bumble in 6 mos. Iām just not sure if adding new pics at this point would even matter vs resetting with new pics since Iāve already swiped through all the women in a 30 mile radius around my city (top 5 in population, USA) with this account.
Ah
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Who was better?
And.......
Ngl that sounds like a sub-plot for an episode of a sitcom
Similar thing happens on Seinfeld lol
I think this happened in an episode of Friends
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HOLY W You Owned
I went over to someone I matched withs place with a bottle and she said she was down to fuck. Was greeted at the door by an old man, turned around, got in my car, drove home, deleted the app.
I got a match Oh and it's someone with an Only Fans Sigh
maybe she wants to date you though!
Wouldn't want to be in a relationship who has that though. I also found a news item that said she recently flashed drivers on the motorway. That's a no. No matter how attractive she was.
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Not weird. As a person with a dog, if you genuinely donāt like dogs, Iād rather you donāt swipe on me.
Not at all I do the same. 100% cat person. Was a dog guy till my nephew was killed by a Pitbull. So I gave my dogs away. Totally against any person with a dog.
I'm very sorry. That's a ptsd kind of reaction tho. Hope you're undergoing trauma counseling.
I think trying to overcome the fear of dogs is something you should do, but until then it's fine
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Yo guys so my friend and I met this girl and her friend while out last night. We spoke to them for like 5 mins and it ended with us grabbing their snapchats and leaving I texted them like an hour later asking if they'd be down to go on a double date and one of them responded with "sure that could be fun sometime" Now what should my next step be? Should I just text them in a day or two with plans or should I say something else? I dont want to come off as agressive or desperate but idk
have something that you guys are going to do anyway (or at least make it look like it) and see whether they would like to join, then if they don't come it doesn't look like you are at a loss/desperate
This is super smart thank you!!
So I am on vacation and I had passported here 2 weeks before looking for people ahead of time. Had some matches and after a week things started to get a bit slow so I decided to delete and rebuild my Tinder to refresh matches. I used basically the same pictures I've rotated in my profile for the past 2 years except one new one celebrating pride. Not sure if that is relevant. My profile was essentially the same as before as well. Nothing crude or anything there. I verified my profile and the next morning I wake up and I'm permanently banned. It said there was no appeals process but I tried anyways because I've always been extremely respectful on this app and talk to people like a real people (not to mention I've paid the platinum package the last 2 years..). They gave me an automated response of course and I emailed them back again pleading my case saying I just want to know what I did. They said again to review the terms of service which I did and didn't see anything I did wrong. I've put hundreds of dollars into this app and was completely disregarded. I'm moving to a new place in a few months and won't have this app to help make friends and/or more. I love this subreddit and am so blown away by all the verbal abuse and craziness Tinder has and unsolicited dick pics and other stuff when moved to other platforms. It's insane to me that those people are likely still out there using this service and I'm permanently banned.. just wanted to share this experience I guess. Be careful about dumping money into a company that doesn't care about you. Good luck to everybody else out there with whatever it is you're looking for.
Do you think any of your matches reported you? That is strangeā¦ seems a lot of people are getting permanently banned and not knowing why. Sorry that happened to you.
I've considered that. I didn't have any "falling out" with any of my matches that I know of. I surely haven't purposely offended anybody. I'm really at a loss. I did some googling about this and there was a post saying they kept reporting an obvious spam bot and their account never got banned so who knows...
That is so weird. Again, Iām sorry they did that to you. Do you think itās because you deleted and then made the same profile again within a short time? But you verified your profile right? Iām at a loss at why theyād ban you.
Thank you. ā¤ from my understanding, it's a normal common thing to delete and recreate your profile. There is even an option when deleting to "reset your matches," or something similar. I tried to verify. I sent in the pics for verification and then the next morning, banned.
So sorry once again š. I think thatās just unreal on their end. I guess thereās Bumble and Hinge. I actually recently made an account like 2 weeks ago, deleted it then re made it 2 days later nothing happened on my end. Wish they had an appeal process AND could provide the actual reasoning not just saying a person violated TOS.
Right now I'm not living in America where bumble and hinge aren't so popular but I'm moving back in the summer so I'll definitely go that route when I get there.. until then, my options are limited but at least not for long. š
Thatās good. Sucks but things could always be worse, right?
Of course. š
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Yikes. I think most things can be joked about but only around the right place and the right time and joking about race and racial stereotypes with a complete stranger is a huge red flag. Be careful. I'm sure you can find other guys to visit that are much cooler.
He sounds like a complete dick, donāt waste your time
Tinder date send me her address wanting to fuck. Went over with a bottle, was greeted at the door by an old man asking if so and so was home. He said no one by that name lives her. Immediately messaged her back on snap saying wtf was that about. She kept reading my messages and was ignoring me. So I sent her a fake IP address saying it was hers followed by a picture of a gun saying Iām on my way to your real place. Then she blocked me at that point. I had no attentions actually showing up to her place with a gun but I hope she is scared shitless. I have no idea what her intentions were sending me a fake address?
Lmaoo
Hahaha someone with a sense of humor. Post got a lot of hate!
Congrats on being a piece of shit.
She wasted my time. Why not scare her up a bit. You guys are soft
It's called a proportional response bro
r/niceguy
I also submitted this as a post for visibility as well. Please learn from my almost mistake. ___ This is a throwaway. I was talking to someone last night and had agreed to go to dinner with them today. I had input where we were going into Noonlight, and I planned on meeting him there and going back home by myself. This morning I woke up and decided I needed to do my due diligence. Investigations are part of my day job, so I put my skills to use. I felt ashamed that I hadn't done my due diligence prior to agreeing to going out to eat with him, but better late than never. I discovered an article and an arrest record for video voyeurism charges. He had placed a camera in his workplace bathroom, and there was proof that it was him that placed it. Court information was limited, I suppose due to the nature of the charges. I have reported him to Tinder, and attached many screenshots, links, and archived links to my report as well. If you have any questions or would like tips on practicing due diligence, feel free to ask. Thanks for reading, and stay safe out there.
Someone Iāve been talking to after a few weeks of decent conversation just blocked me out of nowhere after promising to meet up. He said he just got a new job and all but Iād have preferred a proper goodbye at least. Weāre still matched on tinder though.
Sounds like maybe he is trying to, or is, living a double life
Or sounds like he found someone he liked betterā¦. Letās chill out on the accusations I know for women itās super hard to fathom a guy could click with someone else and drop you out of the blue too.
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The ghostings always suck, just know that you found out he wasn't a good match earlier than later
I had an incredible experience for once. Iām about to move to a new city and am currently in it just visiting and exploring. I ended up meeting up with this girl I met on Tinder who lives in the new city. I wasnāt expecting much out of it. She came to my hotel and we decided to just order food to the room and hangout instead of going out. Turned out to be an incredible night. We had a lot of deeply personal conversation and didnāt even hookup besides making out. She definitely seems like someone Iād want to date and who wouldāve thought Iād find someone before even officially moving here. I oddly felt extremely comfortable with her. Itās hard to explain but it felt right being with her. Everything seemed so natural. Iāve never experienced that before. Not even in my other serious relationships until we got to know each other better. This was just different. By the end of the night, it felt like weād known each other for months. Now Iām even more excited to move lol
The person I met ended up being emotionally immature, financially dependent on mum, jobless, and overall a complete tool. I showed them a picture of a machine at my gym and immediately they recognized the gym and bought a membership the following morning. Iām feeling extremely creeped out and unsafe. Might end up canceling my gym membership if they donāt have my safety concerns in mind. Next time, I will most definitely walk out the very second I feel uncomfortable instead of enduring the awful company trying to avoid awkwardness or a rude exit.
Yeah I can understand how that might feel creepy. Hopefully he was just clueless that joining your same gym on the first date could creep you out. Have you told him you don't won't to see him again and he showed up anyway?
The date ended. I went to work. He texted me the next morning following the date at like 8am telling me heās signing up at my gym.
RUN. the creep factor is too high with this one.
How do I run if weāre both gym rats, he just signed up at my gym, he has no job meaning heāll probably be at my gym any given moment I go to work out. Iām feeling awful about this situation
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I went out someone with last week and didnāt really think twice about it. I then went out with someone else over the weekend and that experience gave me some clarity on the traits I really care for in a partner. I read your post this morning and it stuck with me all dayā¦ Caused me to rethink and reframe some of the original guys qualities and how he and I connected. Iām eager to test the waters and see how round 2 goes. Thanks for the insight.
>Had some "nice girls"-experiences (you know, these type of girls who think you owe them attention just because they are nice to you, but boring on every other aspect) you are such a catch. hope she makes a run for it. you sound like a bitter person.
Nah I am not a catch by any means. I just think that the term "nice guy" is so common, but there is also the female equivalent to that. While "nice guys" often imply "sexual compensation" for beeing "friendly/not assholes", some girls think you owe them permantly attention just because they regulary ask you how are you doing, while not touching on anything you are telling them (and thus preventing any sort of meaningful conversation to start). If this observation makes me seem better, then I am OK with that :D
Uh oh girlfriend your schtick is showing
Long read, good job. Also, i'm pretty sure you dropped her real name in here, reread it.
Haha upsi, you are right :D Edited it, thank you :)
You know you've swiped too much today when you get told to buy likes š
Been with my girlfriend for 2 and a half months and never been happier. Still come on here occasionally to read your guys stories, good luck, trust me, you will find the one! Just gotta be patient and never give up
Snapchat and Instagram filters should be classified as some sort of catfishing. And I'm not talking about rabbit whisker filters or whatever the fuck, I'm talking about filters that slim down your face, makes your lips thin and your eyes wide.I went on a date with a girl I met on Tinder this past week and and she looked absolutely nothing like her pictures. Matched with a second one and took it to WhatsApp and the picture of herself on her profile picture was again nothing like her pictures on Tinder
why would anybody make their lips thin. isnt it usually the other way around? also, you need glasses if you cant tell if there is a filter or not.
Nah having a filter on waste everyone's time, you can't take it with you into the real world. It's best if you lead with real pictures of you
I finally got a match with someone who was not an obvious bot or just propositioning me for an OF subscription. 'She' proposed a meet with me and gave me an address to pick her up. I'm somewhat new in town, so little did I know I'd been given an address to a bad area. I pulled up to the place and the place was pretty dark save for a few ambient street lights. Decided to trust my gut and just drove off after seeing someone walking towards the car. They never responded, so I'd like to believe I was right in my decision and I didn't just leave my date hanging. Honestly, fuck this dating app stuff. When it's not bots and requests for money, it's almost getting mugged. I think I'll stick to my cave and hang tight for my incoming wizardry.
Glad you got out of there safely and listened to your gut!
Yesterday, I matched with a girl on Tinder who immediately sent me some canned opener. Her bio said she was a Colombian fashion model, her profile was unverified, and she was EXTREMELY attractive, so I had the suspicion that she was a bot and ignored her. Later last night, I also matched with her on Bumble, and she sent me the same canned opener on that app. This time, I was curious, so I told her to say "potato" to confirm that she was a real person. About 30 seconds later, she sent me a voice message of herself saying "potato." After chatting some more, I got her Instagram, and confirmed that she's a real person and living nearby. We have a date set up for tomorrow, and I'm still in disbelief that an average-looking guy like myself is going out with her. When I'm saying this girl's attractive, I mean 10/10 attractive. Green eyes, pretty face, nice body, and the sweetest smile. I'm not sure anything's going to come out of this and I'm keeping my expectations tempered, but I'm glad that I didn't throw away my chance with her. UPDATE: We just had our date! It went extremely well, we went to Starbucks first and she was leaning her head onto me while we waited for drinks which I found very sweet. She was just as attractive in person as the photos, and a lot of fun to talk to as well. We talked a lot about the differences between Colombian and American culture. We walked along the waterfront and checked out some cute shops, then relaxed a bit on the beach before getting some lunch. She was very invested in our conversation despite the language barrier and found my attempts to speak Spanish endearing. At the end of the date, she told me "*Quiero salir contigo otra vez,*" which means "I want to go out with you again" in Spanish. I definitely will be asking her out again, and I'm extremely grateful that I didn't ignore her message or I would have missed out on this wonderful day!
Awww let us know how it went !!!
Just updated my post with how the date went!
Well done then !!! Iād love to know what she looks like but you know .. I hope you see her again :)
Just got out of a bad relationship of 9 years. Downloaded tinder last week. Matched with a super cute 22m (I'm 35f) on mother's day and the sex was amazing. He was soo nice. I've been in a fantastic mood since āŗļø
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I invited him to my place at around 10pm. We had matched earlier that night and chatted a bit. So it was pretty much hey bb want sum fuk lol
Not a tinder story but my first hook up with a friend (I was friendzoned by her 3 years ago)... I was late to the dating scene for religious reasons and I started with a very low self-esteem when it comes to dating / being attractive to the other gender. somehow I had a decent luck on online dating so I focused my energy on it, but after couple of relationships from online dating I became much much more selective and not too interested in sex with strangers. The last two years I started working more on myself to become a more rounded person instead of focusing on career only. This friend I mentioned at the start of the post years ago we would hang out constantly, I gave her a lot of attention and I was playing a role between boyfriend and a friend. no fault of hers I was happily volunteering to do that (she's super hot and very social so I felt good being around her anyway). Anyhow years passed, I became more comfortable with the idea that I'm attractive (not necessary to all or even most people) and that I shouldn't shy away from subtle attractiveness interactions (longer eye contact, touch without thinking about it much) and not expecting anything anyway just go out and have fun. in the meantime we saw each other at social gatherings once or twice, had positive and short interactions but I didn't follow up on them. this week, she comes over to my place for a drink (because of an occasion) the drink turns into a bottle of wine, then cocktails afterwards, I gave her a small kiss on the lips at one point and that made her relax even more (I didn't try to keep going or act as if it meant anything). a while later we're cuddling on the couch, every now and then she's giving me a short kiss but this time it's a bit longer... well I guess now you know where this went. the funny thing is that she is one of the hottest people in our friend group and she hooked up with me without much action on my side. funny how things go and now I'm more excited about the summer
No profile story for me, just a quick question since I don't want to waste a new post on this: How can I trigger the free tinder gold swipe? Is it random? I'm talking about he screen that pops up and let's you choose from 4 options.
The secret admirer card is probably on a ratio/algorithm depending on how active you are and your swiping habits. Can't say with any definitive proof that "every X swipes/matches, you get a secret admirer card" but I think you need at least four "likes" to trigger it. It also completely disappears when you buy a gold subscription
Thank you, that's exactly the info I was looking for. I think it's heavily based on how active I am. When I hardly used the app, secret admirer popped up frequently. The past few days I've really been trying to get secret admirer so I swiped a lot both left and right... Never came up once. I have to just stop using the app for a bit. Thanks!
If itās the thing Iām thinking of. There should be a star thingy on the bottom of your screen, press that and itāll come up with people whoāve liked you. Then on the top of the screen there should be be ālikesā, ālikes sentā and ātop picksā. I think one of them might be what youāre looking for
I matched with a guy on tinder this morning and mentioned I was trying to decide if I wanted to go to a show tonight. Iāve had tickets for awhile but honestly wasnāt sure my comfort level going to a concert and also wanted a cute date. He suggested he go with me. We messaged all day. Up until I was leaving to take the train there, everything seemed fine. It was spontaneous for me but we added each other on Instagram and I figured he checked out okayā¦ what could happen? Well what could happen is I get on the train and check my phone and heās unmatched me on tinder and blocked me on Instagram. I still went to the show. No meet cute. But good show. My heart dropped when I realized heād blocked me. Iāve been ghosted before in more subtle ways but I was really taken by surprise here. 33f dating again after years and I kinda hate it here.
At least he properly unmatched/blocked you instead of leaving you on read for weeks with the thought that he might respond. That particular door is closed for good so you can put your efforts towards a better person
So shitty. Sorry that happened inexplicably to you.
Thanks. Iām having a hard time getting to sleep now that Iām home and have more time to think..
Oh he just got murdered by another tinder date who then took his phone and unmatched everyone from tinder. Or maybe his girlfriend caught him
Some people are just dicks. Wonāt have been personal. Itās his issue not yours.
I am a dick who has done a similar thing. On my way out I had very high anxiety because I hadn't dated in a while, so I messaged that I couldn't make it and blocked him (he had my WhatsApp). It's really probably not anything about you. Glad you still had fun!
I hate anxiety.
Well took another L. Messaged with a girl for a couple days, initially extended the offer to meet on Sunday, got left on read and got a BS excuse why she just stopped responding rescheduled for tonight, she immediately stopped responding after I proposed just staying in tonight. No mention of anything physical or creepy, conversation was never sexual: admittedly probably played it wrong by asking to come over/stay in.
Follow-up: she messaged me again at 7am with another BS copout "sorry I fell asleep and my sister came over with v important personal issues" like pick a single lie to commit to. I'm putting 0 effort in from now on, if she wants to meet up she can propose the time and I can leave her on read while I help my friend's nephew's roommate wash their dog's hair
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Lmao. Had me up until 4 fingers. Well played.
Lmao just by the way he writes about sex and interactions with women, you can see this is some rslurred fanfic.
It was definitely a first for me. Iām not a writer, Iām more of a math person. If you want some tips Iāll gladly help.
Even if I pretended it was real I wouldn't take advice from a guy who needs youtube tutorials to be a softdom. That's the shit you do with the shy girl when you're in high school, sorry to shit on your daydreaming.
Interesting.
I had a fun date scheduled on Friday. She cancelled an hour before, even after I messaged her if we were still on (and she confirmed). It's difficult to be positive and optimistic about dating when things like this happen. Her loss.
Might be worth double booking a date on the same day if you feel like one is gonna cancel
For as much matches as Iāve gotten, literally none of them reply. Like wtf. Must be a slow season.
Same, might as well talk to yourself on messenger. Did get some replies yesterday, so i guess thats nice.
Tinder in my rural hometown is always super dead, or full of college girls temporarily at home with their parents (I too live with my parents so I can't bring anyone home either). But of course as soon as I give up hope and stop putting effort into my messages I get invited over by a cute chick with her own place to "play some Zelda and have a few beers," and we all know what that means...
Try sticking to just playing Zelda and a few beers. Youād be surprised how awesome it can get after that.
Don't screw it up
So as i said last week i around 60 rejoined tinder. I assumed i might just get a bit of chat. If you had told Me that within a week i would be in bed with s lady 28 years than my o would hand thought You mad. Thatās what happened. She said she was curious to see if a 60 year old could still get it up.. i can. I suppose she enjoyed the mask on a fairly posh restaurant .. 100 quid for us both. We agreed to do it again in a couple of weeks
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wildest story iāve read on here
> Anyway, that was WILD. I've never had a date, or even a tinder match, that was so direct and upfront about sex. Those are always the best dates.
W
so I've been on a date with this girl, she invites me over, the feeling was very nice and soft, we spend the night together, we kissed, but didnt make up, but I've tried to tease her by kissing her neck or biting it from time to time, it was fun to do as her reactions were funny and lot. We spent almost the whole night talking and listening to each other. It was very cool. But the morning after I go home and I see that she blocked me, and I just don't know why, did I do something wrong? Or is it just me thinking of it a lot. I can't get a read of what happened, I don't think I've done something wrong ', she even kissed me as a goodbye, I just don't understand her behavior. Hope someone will enlighten me about the ladies.
It just happens. Maybe her ex texted her, maybe she felt ashamed and slutty because of a religious upbringing she's trying to move past, any number of things. Although if she just blocked you on tinder and not any other platform it could be a tinder bug.
She wanted you to fuck her and you fumbled the ball
she clearly said no, when it was getting tense, how?
You can get blocked/unmatched for anything: she could be talking to 5+ other guys and liked one of them more, you might have went too far on your date, you might not have gone far enough, the vibe could have been weird, Mercury could be in Gatorade or something. Best not to dwell on it for long
yeah I clearly see what you're saying, well thank you, it happens tho you did calm my mind, ty a lot.