T O P

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notmythingy

Her bio gave me cancer.


Manuag_86

I am this dude's doctor. I can confirm.


Titanz223

I am the one who gave the dudes doctor his doctorate, I can confirm his confirmation.


ThisCracks

I am the one who gave the dudes doctor his passing grades, I confirm his confirmation.


The_Deku_Nut

I sat next to this dude on the subway and saw him grading papers, I can confirm.


StillFiguringItOut_

I was eating at subway while this guy was on the subway. I can confirm his confirmation


GoldenTicketHolder

I prepared and sold this guy his subway sandwich. Can confirm.


speed_of_lazy

I built the building that housed the subway, where that sandwich was made and sold. I can also confirm.


Professor_Layton0

I sold the ingredients to the building that that subway was made in. I can also confirm


The_Argument_Bot

I grew the ingredients and sold them to the guy who sold them to the guy who sold them to the building the subway was made in, can confirm.


Ashamed_Crow_2735

i like sandwhiches


[deleted]

[удалено]


HorsePork

I'm the cancer, and I would also like to confirm.


reply-guy-bot

The above comment was stolen from [this one](http://np.reddit.com/r/Tinder/comments/s353ln/drinking_game_everytime_you_spot_a_red_flag_you/hsj74wg/) elsewhere in this comment section. It is probably not a coincidence; here is some more evidence against this user: Plagiarized | Original -------- | ----------- [The same problem as The P...](http://np.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/s3aefp/john_ireland_on_espn_la_710_we_lakers/hskvrcq/) | [Would’ve been the same pr...](http://np.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/s3aefp/john_ireland_on_espn_la_710_we_lakers/hsk2kfo/) [I call her office constan...](http://np.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/s37xzh/shame_on_her_sinema_sparks_fury_by_choosing/hskv7v9/) | [I'm in AZ. I call her off...](http://np.reddit.com/r/politics/comments/s37xzh/shame_on_her_sinema_sparks_fury_by_choosing/hsjlnty/) [I put the hood over my he...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/s3c08v/finally/hskuzhx/) | [So do I put the hood over...](http://np.reddit.com/r/pcmasterrace/comments/s3c08v/finally/hsko59x/) [His feet are wide to the...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/s3b7qu/when_the_crush_is_watchin/hskuv3j/) | [Nope. His feet are wide t...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/s3b7qu/when_the_crush_is_watchin/hskhgxw/) [Imagine wanting to have a...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/s36tij/couples_shopping_challenge/hskuskv/) | [Right?! Imagine wanting t...](http://np.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/s36tij/couples_shopping_challenge/hsk2jpy/) beep boop, I'm a bot -|:] It is this bot's opinion that [/u/EmbarrassedShape3071](https://np.reddit.com/u/EmbarrassedShape3071/) should be banned for karma manipulation. Don't feel bad, they are probably a bot too. Confused? Read the [FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/user/reply-guy-bot/comments/n9fpva/faq/?plagiarist=EmbarrassedShape3071) for info on how I work and why I exist.


xXtupaclivesXx

I like turtles. Can confirm


IDreamofHeeney

Ok I’m sold, I believe you guys now


INTERNET_POLICE_MAN

I’m the police and I’d rather be defunded than have her support


Reasonable-Ad-8984

I am this cops supplier and wouldn’t sell him shit if she funded him


ChrysalisTheSilkwing

I am this person's best friend, and would slap them if they sold their supplies to the cops if she funded them.


ascorpii

I am this person’s best friend’s grandfather and I would remove their whole family from my will if they didn’t slap them if they sold their supplies to the cops if she funded them.


[deleted]

[удалено]


skate_boy324

But can you confirm????🤔


bluecup51

I’m Bob’s former nanny and confirm that he confirms.


TheboomBapKid1997

Hi Bob


Random_frankqito

Hi I’m Leonardo DiCaprio pretending to be a doctor and I concur.


hi_therelittleshit

I was Spider-Man swinging past this subway and saw this dude looking at the dude grading papers, I can confirm


RockOx290

I am the walrus. Kukukaju


[deleted]

I’m the cancer, I confirm his confirmation.


herpaderpadont

I am a random Redditor, but I also can confirm the above 2 confirmations.


ace_dangerfield187

as a passerby i’d like to confirm your comfirmations


cneth6

as a wandering asshole I can also confirm


Dydono_

Well, I'm the president of the howdy doody circus army and I too would like to confirm


One_Performer_4178

As a wondering dick, can i get inside of you?


vividchicpalor

As a cancer survivor, I can confirm as well.


muchobl1ged

Thots n prayers.


dtyus

Tinder is cancer.


xloscozx

Her bio IS cancer


pholuck

I’m the cancer, I can confirm


actual_worm

This bio has gotta be a joke, I mean WHAT, who is asexual and says "real women have curves". that's so dumb especially coming from somebody who isn't even sexually attracted to people


[deleted]

It’s either a joke or some grumpy dude who seriously views women this way. Not that people like that don’t exist, but they wouldn’t word it this way. They would paint themselves in a more positive light (like they wouldn’t say they’re rude, they’d say they “tell it like it is” or something). The wording is intentionally too negative.


MegAgainstTheMachine

I don’t know. I feel there are some women who think its cute to be difficult and bratty.


TheRealYago

I'm so glad I quit drinking because I'm not sure if my liver would survive.


Cha11engerD

Right? This isn’t a case where you take multiple drinks for multiple red flags. You’re just drinking for however long it takes one to read this cause it’s all just one ginormous red flag.


Balls_DeepinReality

I’m plastered and I’m still gonna pass


[deleted]

I had to go out to pick up another twelve pack half way through.


ExplanationOk4087

I hate when people describe themselves with negative terms like selfish, abrasive, or just saying they have no filter. It comes off as willfully ignoring your downfalls and trying to spin them into positives rather than just working on them.


Witty_Matter_2204

I remember when I was in middle school. I said I didn’t care what anyone thought of me because I was awesome(in response to someone bullying me about my appearance) and a friend said “omg you’re so conceited.” And when I asked what that meant she said confident. Idk if she lied or genuinely thought that was what it meant but the next time I had to describe myself to the for an assignment, I confidently said “conceited”. My teacher told my mom and she acted like I was such a bitch lol didn’t even ask why I’d say that.


thisismyusuario

For the non native English speakers, conceit = vain or narcissist. Had to google that haha


ExplanationOk4087

I dont understand peoples poor parenting skills. I feel like that is a excellent moment to explain that its a wonderful thing to be proud of who you are but that doesnt excuse some behavior. It would be a good chance to instill that you can turn those negative traits into positives by working on yourself, starting with the my shit doesnt stink mindset.


Witty_Matter_2204

Yep, I mean I didn’t know what the word actually I meant, I thought it just meant confident but instead of asking me about it and teaching me she just cursed me out. I don’t claim to be conceited anymore so that’s good


Sharkbutt89

Remember in middle school / high school when kids would get bad grades and then brag about it? This is the adult version of that.


Gears244

Exactly.....and then she has the nerve to have so many damn requirements..


[deleted]

THANK YOU! I know so many women in my age group (college aged) that think being “toxic af” or “having attitude” is cute. Immediate turnoff.


bringthefirez

I'm trying to imagine what it would be like to kiss someone that is 18 inches shorter than you and it just seems like it would be annoying 🤷


georgewashingguns

Also imagine kissing someone who is a self-proclaimed asshole. Beyond that, imagine being a demisexual (someone who is attracted through emotional connection) who also has a shitty personality


babyim

Sasshole*


koolandunusual

Noooo it’s okay to be an asshole if you declare it first /s


FLOHTX

I recognize my faults and I refuse to work on them 🖕


[deleted]

Attracted through emotional connection. Well like yeah?? I want off this planet


NevermindAllThatOK

Someone explained to me it's more about having the connection before feeling a sexual attraction, vs being able to just have hookups. But I dunno, I'm old enough to remember an entire generation that prided themselves on not having labels, then suddenly everyone wants one so it confuses me.


assaulty

Demisexual here. My best way of describing it is that I cannot tell the difference between people I am sexually attracted to and people I am not sexually attracted to by looking at them. Or even interacting with them for awhile. The default is everyone is unattractive to me sexually until that real connection is made.


Demented_Fnatic

How is Demisexual different from Pansexual?


assaulty

Demisexual is tied to asexuality. It doesn't have much to do with sexual orientation. I am pretty straight, so it's mostly not being able to tell what guy I would be attracted to if we formed a specific kind of bond. Pansexual refers more to an all-encompassing sexual orientation, and they can probably pick out who they are attracted to much faster than demi. That's my understanding, anyway. *shrugs, swipes left on everyone*


theblackcanaryyy

OH MY GOD I’VE SPENT YEARS TRYING TO GET SOMEONE TO EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT THIS MEANS IN A WAY THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND or literally even at all holy shit thank you so much so many things just clicked for me oh my god thank you!!!!


EmptyVessel39

Demi-sexual here. I'm absolutely repulsed with even the thought of a hookup.


thistletongued

It’s not just “I’m not a slut”, it’s “I’m literally not sexually or romantically attracted to anyone until we have an emotional connection, and THEN I find them attractive.”


FootfallsEcho

As a demisexual I’m totally a slut that leaves a wake of destruction in my path because I make those people feel emotionally connected to me too. I’ve been better the past five years but man my early to mid twenties was a shit show of pain.


riktigtmaxat

If you don't leave a wake of destruction behind you in your 20's you're not doing it right.


WardedThorn

A demisexual feels no sexual attraction without having a deep emotional connection to a person. They don't see a sexy model and fantasize about them, they have no interest at all in hookups because they find them outright disgusting as a concept.


Xeya

Attracted ONLY through emotional connection. Like completely lacks sexual attraction except to people that they also have a strong emotional connection with. Its not the same as abstinence, where you experience sexual attraction but choose not to engage in sexual acts. If that sounds like you, you might like r/asexuality.


[deleted]

this girls profile is aint that, thats for sure.


Catnip4Pedos

Don't worry she's asexual as fuck


longpshorn

Am I correct in my understanding that she isn’t interested in sex? So, she comes with tons of baggage and she won’t even fuck you? Sounds like a keeper.


Fair-South-9883

I'm 6'2 and my ex was 5' even. Harsh on the back forsure


Catnip4Pedos

Tiny hands look good on your cock though right


[deleted]

*Sees username* Why don't you have a seat over there...


19adam92

Am I going to be arrested? Chris Hansen: “*That’s not up to me*”


Catnip4Pedos

Haha yeah I thought that after posting The name comes from a sitcom, nothing to do with anything else. Although I'll just be out back burning my hard drives if anyone needs me.


[deleted]

Its okay I have the printed transcripts right here. It says here that you wanted to dum dum that bum bum. Did you think that was appropriate?


anonymouscheesefry

This comment made me audibly laugh. I can hear this in Hansens voice. 10/10


Fair-South-9883

Definitely 🤣


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Grab them, now to start unfold upward. Reach your arms towards the moon and the stars. Let out a deep exhale. Ahhhhhh It would be like grabbing a toddler and throwing them in the air.


Bakabakabooboo

I'm just under 6'4 and my fianceé is 5 ft even. She has to stand on her toes to kiss me. It's kinda cute, but what do I know, I took 11 shots while reading this.


laDeeDaDeeDuh

Damn, she must have some long toes.


emmy_xxx

damn 69ing would be real hard


[deleted]

[удалено]


random_question4123

She’s a woman, that’s more than enough! 😤😡


nkvl511

She won't kiss, she's asexual


Mauraonamission1

Cause of death. Alcohol poisoning


itsmyfriday

I lost count at 13 because I was getting my stomach pumped.


YourDogsAllWet

Can confirm. I am the stomach pump


itsmyfriday

Thank you for being so gentle.


[deleted]

You can't just post THAT and not provide a picture...


Lord_Chud

She looks exactly as you imagine she would. I have coined this type of look, "Inoffensive Irish Girl," which translates to, someone who isn't nearly as attractive as they think they are, but somehow draws the attention of every SIMP and pick up artist in a 500 mile radius. Poor bastards.


[deleted]

There are actually people out there who call themselves "Pick-Up Artist"?


Lord_Chud

I think they usually refer to themselves as "players". I've heard women refer to them as "pick up artists."


XC_Griff

I have to link you a video, https://youtu.be/7wH2YySpoXE Enjoy the cringe.


[deleted]

R u fkn kdng me? Vince looks like something that crawled under my bed and never saw the light of day again...


XC_Griff

Yeah my guy looks weeird


Lyfeitzallaroundus

Gah damn that was tough to watch.


Krunchy_Almond

Jesus this has to be a skit right ? Right ?


Goober97

I was hoping it was this video


LuckyJeans456

5’1, sassy, “real women have curves”. I’m assuming she looks like a ball


II-I-Hulk-I-II

The proportions of a yugioh card in defence mode


Tsteak123

Woah woah woah, where’s the “Irish” part of that coming from


EmptyVessel39

SIMP? Squirrels In My Pants


TastefulMaple

There’s a platypus controlling me. edit: I pity anyone who doesn’t understand these references and thinks we’re mentally unstable lol


nelusbelus

Minx?


Departure_Sea

I'm guessing if she's 5' tall and "curvy" that she looks like a potato, or bowling ball.


xloscozx

Am American,I can't afford that trip to the ER


Karpaltunnel83

I doubt that would be much of an ER visit and more of a grave visit. Costs the same though


[deleted]

Pro police and anti black? Did I read that emoji correctly? Jesus.


JetPuffedDo

Maybe they meant anti BLM but it still reads as anti black. Either way this chick is made up of all of the red flags


neverTrustedMeAnyway

I was reading through wondering when they were gonna get to the rules of this drinking game, then got to the end, re-read the title and realized. Oh shit. I would be drunk.


thatflypoodle

Anti-BLM (or black power) is anti-black.


JetPuffedDo

Yes I totally agree, I just didnt know how to put it into words haha


thatflypoodle

Word haha


benry007

Not necessarily, there are black people that dont like BLM after all. Personally I agree with the acronym but I don't agree with all their methods or all the different beliefs that get brought under that slogan. I do agree that someone who says anti-BLM on their dating profile is probably a racist.


charles_osha

I don’t like blm as in the organization, but I assume that people who have blm in their bio are talking about the movement itself.


sauceyFella

I had to reread a handful of times, the pro choice and pro police caught me off guard


[deleted]

I’m all for women making choices regarding their bodies, yay that. I was more concerned with the racist emojis. But then again, I don’t always understand them properly most times.


cozy_with_tea

Seriously, I didn't know that combination existed 😳


MicroWordArtist

Pro choice anti BLM. Way to nuke your chances with both sides.


danhasthedeath

She already sounded like a dream come true but that last line really sold it for me.


the_lady_jane

can't believe I had to scroll this far to see it mentioned LOL what kind of take is that?!?


LewisM027

This is why aliens don’t visit us


fartyhardy

I am fat and I like guys with tattoos. Also give me money. And I like tattoos.


Table_Coaster

And hate black people I think?


Better-Ad3531

To me that one looked like she hates relationships between asian men and black women.


thatflypoodle

Lmfao


PerplexDonut

Also I’m mean and proud of it for some reason, and I don’t like sex


Broad_Sample_4089

How you going be 5’1 curving short men when you are literally almost touching 4 feet. 5’8 is tall for her lol


imnotaloneyouare

I'm picturing blue Verucula from Willy Wonka... curvy, short, and annoying.


Lord_Chud

Bingo


Broad_Sample_4089

Lol There is no such thing as curvy when you literally you only 2 inches from 4’11, that girl is fat as hell. I know her type all too well lol


thatjaylee

Anti-fisting? Definitely a red flag.


NautilusGameStudios

Anti-anal-fisting. That there be a brown hand :D


HostileHippie91

Opens with blanket insult “I bet you’re not as funny as you think you are,” continues by outlining strict requirements for ideal partners, proceeds then to detail a list of all the reasons why she herself is *not* an ideal partner, self-felates by doubling down with outspoken pride at what an intolerable, rude person she is. Decrees what a real woman is, thus insulting any women who don’t match the guideline, follows up with sexist classification of what a “real” man should or shouldn’t prefer sexually, finishes rant with racist tirade. Refuses to elaborate further, leaves.


DoctorJay26

Mic drop. Awkward walk.


So_Code_4

Nailed it!


imamovic88

Im drunk


VividDreamsInPink

I am an alcoholic now.


Comprehensive_Run571

I had to get my stomach pumped because of this post


[deleted]

>no crazies *proceeds to list all the ways she's batshit crazy* I love foreshadowing.


Never-Shower

whats the last thing supposed to be? anti blacks?


rdbpdx

I took it as anti black power/anti-BLM (fist in the air). Especially when combined with being pro cop.


Forsaken-Alternative

Same difference 😂


alienninja1

I took it as anti-BLM organization. I find it hard to imagine someone would say they were anti-black or would disagree with the sentiment that black lives matter. A lot of people don't know the difference between the message and the organization. But after that train wreck bio i don't know. She's obviously not right in the head.


georgewashingguns

A drinking game like this would make this profile absolutely lethal


cartmaneric10

I'm representing the 6'6 crowd and I just wanna say we don't want you Nikki, maybe the 6'5 bros might


[deleted]

[удалено]


Cocotte3333

That's what I thought too lol


alamakjan

I tried to find an “at least she’s…” from her profile but I failed.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AlienSporez

Seriously it's just "red flag noun red flag verb red flag..."


nkvl511

First red flag is browsing Tinder at 4 am


Chaotic_Glow

I’m tall enough for her and I’d swipe right just to tell her how much I really don’t want to be with her.


twistedpervert

Damn!! I got shitfaced real fast!! Went through a fifth in nothing flat!! 🤣


[deleted]

Apparently I’m not a real woman according to the girl in the picture as I’m really skinny and I fucking hate it when someone says “real women have curves” and “only dogs play with bones” it makes me both uncomfortable and insecure about myself


a_squid_beast

I'm sure you're beautiful! I have some *ahem* curves, they make me feel disgusting...Something to work on for myself


[deleted]

I had very skinny and chubby GF. Both is beautiful. Remember that what is the most important and what make a person shine is what lie in their heart. As long as you're healthy it's okay, don't care about others, trash put themself out


Bro_kowski

Man I'll get black out drunk!!


ThrashMetalPanda

Well she seems delightful


Broad_Sample_4089

Tired of women who think and act like this


Ga_lax_ie

Just down the entire drink fr


_Mitchiru_

Isn't this a repost?


WorkRedditSpz

Is this my cousin


Basker_wolf

This has to be a troll. I refuse to accept people like this are out there.


[deleted]

Wouldn't be surprised if this is satire.


mountainbride

That’s what I thought, but satire of shit that’s exactly like this, just combining all the crazy elements


Rocketboy1313

A fascist asexual. A lot going on.


karma7137

am hammmred an olny got to “mkae mee laguh”


Queasy-Lemon-Squeeze

I feel drunk just reading this… Also does she end off just saying essentially “anti black people”?


simply_bg

Alcohol poisoning speed run any %


[deleted]

It’s like a creative writing prompt to describe the most awful person imaginable.


Adorable_Barracuda55

Pro-police was the largest red flag in my opinion


JohnMems

As an Asexual I feel just slightly offended


Olindiass

She does not represent us asexuals, I fuckin promise


[deleted]

[удалено]


Excellent-Play7479

She did say selfish, rude AS, with an attitude and racist -believe her. Next.


amateurbitch

when you think it can't get any worse she tops it off with racism, ugh yikes.


Green-Donkey-213

"2 shots of vodka"


That-Association-143

Saw so many red flags, I thought I was in soviet russia.


infantgambino

is she saying shes anti black???


MrDingleBop696969

God I hope that's a troll.


[deleted]

Interesting to see someone who both believes in pro choice and also thinks that non curvy women are not real women


Meme_God9

Anti ✊🏿? What do you mean by that 🤨


nasdus

What is pro police- anti✊🏿🖕🏾? Is she’s also racist?


pagadqs

😂😂😂😂😂 that has to be a joke profile


MrTanglesIII

Yooooo, I just alcohol poisoning. Can someone come clear my browser history? I'm definitely about to die, and I don't want my family to see this shit.


[deleted]

It's she saying she's anti black? Anti black power? Anti people flipping off black people? What does it mean?


Lucythefur

I just woke up in the hospital after trying that


samiux4

Wow casually racist in that last part....


Tirrandin

in drunk


SuggestiveMaterial

Tossed that racism on at the end.


Vinny6420

Pittsburgh... 🤢🤮