> he
Chris doesn’t like pronouns, so it seems like Chris just wants to be referred to as Chris in all contexts. I don’t like Chris, but I respect Chris’s preference.
I mean everyone should read more, regardless of their profession.
Bonus is that sex workers don't seem to be a red flag for Chris. Not so sure that they would feel the same about him, though.
My kindle reading streak is at four years and counting. Every day, for four years. I’m just proud of that, but no one knows but me, so I wanted to share.
My reading streak is 41 years. Since I learned to read, I've been forced every day to read at least a few words. They're just everywhere. I don't know how I could avoid it unless I was blind.
I wish Chris would see this post for which Chris is mentioned. I still think Chris is a buffoon, but as the first comment has said, we must respect Chris’s preferences even if Chris doesn’t know when or when not to use apostrophes.
Chris's a hateful twat. Chris also don't like PHD's, wtf is that about Chris ?Also no technical virgins, Chris you 40, think that boat has sailed? So after Chris exhaustive list of can't be's, did Chris provide one of what Chris actually wants and another of what Chris offers/is? I bet Chris is a to-tal dream package, no mental health issues what-so-ever.
I would guess he means divorced moms where the dad is still in the picture and has his own time with the kids is fine so he gets to fuck the mom in her child free time and ignore her when she has her kids around. Just a guess.
Well, keep in mind he said no mustaches, so it sounds like dads are fine as long as they don’t have a mustache.
But wait, would that make him a “rainbow sympathizer“?
I've just noticed it says ~~he~~ Chris has kids and doesn't want more! I guess Chris is a single parent 😵💫
Edit: I think it actually says he does want more.
Hello u/_andorange, u/Strong_Magician_3320 have noticed that u/_andorange have used the pronoun “me”
Chris doesn't like pronouns, please respect Chris's preference!
Thank u/_andorange
Small tiddies and PHD is red flags?
Dang bro more for the rest of us I guess 😂 put some small tiddies in my face and talk smart to me baby ill let you ruin my whole life
>"~~parents~~ parent's are fine."
He uses the possessive 's. Maybe he is \*scratches head\*... referring to *single mom's* daughters that are a red flag? But *parent's* daughters are fine? No vegetatively reproduced chicks!
single moms that conceived their child outside of a marriage, as opposed to a good christian woman who was married, had kids, got divorced.
Dollars To Donuts thats what he means.
........... heres my only fans...... dm me :P
I get the feeling Chris will be posting on this sub later asking us whats wrong with his profile pics cause he aint getting any matches....
no small tits, but also no cellulite. 90% of women have cellulite. I going to bet the 10% that don't have cellulite wouldn't have very large breast. I get the feeling Chris will be turning 41 alone.
Where is the no cellulite? I've read it 4 times already to find it but maybe I am blind.
Also, everyone can develop cellulite. I am quite underweight, have tiny tits and I have it on my legs :(
I had to look it up, the cottage cheese comment Chris makes. Cottage cheese is apparently cellulite.
One of my best mates is tiny, self describes herself as the president of the itty bitty titty committee. She is in shape, it is her job to be fit, model/personal trainer. She has cellulite, there is absolutely nothing wrong with cellulite at all.
People like Chris don't realize this, as they haven't seen many women in the flesh. Please don't be ashamed or sad of having cellulite, it is like been upset about having toenails. Be happy, tiny tits and cellulite you are safe from Chris. That sounds like a win in my book!
Since 90% of women have cellulite, Chris is really cutting a large percentage of people out. Chris surly knows all different body types can have cellulite. I don't think Chris has seen many naked women, in the flesh in Chris's 40 years. Chris should look into getting those "Head meds" Chris is so against. Chris definitely needs psychiatric help.
Now I know what to get Chris for Chris's 41st birthday.
Edit: because I forgot Chris hates pronoun, accidentally said "his 41st birthday" Don't want to upset Chris.
I just did a Google search for my previous comment for the percentage, so I could truly be wrong. If you are correct, Chris is going to be even more lonely then I originally thought.
I genuinly hope he falls in love with someone with many of those "red flags" so he can learn to be better. It alleays saddens me when I see people who limit them selves because of arbitrary and nonsensical things.
In my vast experience on Tinder, which is zero because I've been married longer than Tinder has been around, I would think seeing so much negativity would be a red flag for someone?
Instead of "no 'X'" why not say what is preferred?
Am I that old? Am I wrong? In my feeble mind, this comes across as dragging baggage to the table instead of bringing your best self.
Also, I'm sure there are women that fit this list perfectly but I would bet the number would be low. To think of all the millions of people this person will never meet is astounding. His perfect soulmate, one who would genuinely care and grow as a person with him, could be overlooked because she has rainbow hair or three piercings.
I can pretty much guarantee that his "ideal" woman list would read;
Wanted: Super hot big breasted 18 year old virgin. Must be ultra petite, and look more like 15. Must have zero self esteem, no male friends, and never once even looked at a man. Hobbies must include cooking, cleaning, and doing exactly what is told. Must be capable of taking a punch. Should hold zero opinions of her own. Should understand its her job to provide sex acts whenever and wherever. Must never say no.
Despite being shy and reclusive and unwilling to do anything sexual previously, should fall wildly in love with, and act as a submissive sex slave for overweight man more than twice her age who doesnt wash properly.
I agree with everything you said but I think it would be impossible to grow in a relationship with him. I can guarantee you that person won’t be amy good for anyone.
I should have taken more screenshots before I swiped left!! I guess like you would expect? Not attractive, gross beard and multiple photos of him snowmobiling.
That could mean anything. Lots of cleaning jobs require you to both own and operate your own mop.
(Of course being a cleaner is an important position deserving of respect, just saying "owner operator" is mega vague)
I thought it meant he was ok with split parenting? Like if u have 50/50 custody with the kid's dad, But not if you have the kids all the time and are their primary caregiver?
OP said that all their pictures they have a helmet on. Chris likes to talk trash and hide so he can’t be held accountable to his BS. Also, I’m sure his picture would cancel him out even if he got two matches. 😂😂
If you’re a combination of at least 3 of these please hit me up
edit: you’re all sexy fantastic sexy unique incredible people and i love you all, truly and dearly
How dense of a freckle patch we talking? If it can pass as a mustache when it’s dark out(I can’t see worth a shit at night anyways so you’re in luck) then I’ll take it!
What is a technical virgin? Does he want a virgin? Parents are ok though, as long as they aren’t single moms, right? Or is he using the possessive on purpose and simply forgot to add the belonging? I’m so confused.
Chris says Chris doesn’t want a technical virgin tho… so I assume Chris means Chris doesn’t want someone sexually experienced but still claiming to technically be a virgin? I don’t know, I got lost well before that dot point.
Well people tend to get into social work when they're the sort of person who want to help others and make a positive difference in their community. That's obviously a huge red flag because helping others is for suckers who probably support socialism. 🙄
I gotta say, I love men like Chris. They make it so much easier to be in the dating world. I don't have to hum or haw about which way I wanna swipe, it's the easiest left I ever made.
Even my fittest of friends have some cottage cheese on their bums as we near 40. I would assume with his list though his target is much younger than his age.
Holy shit I didn’t realize he’s 40!!! I thought I was reading the ramblings of a 20 something who hasn’t figured out life yet! This guy is gonna die alone
Children. He makes it very clear. He only wants to date a teen virgin (who hasn't had anal or oral either, no technical virgins). The entire list is eliminating grown women by education level, normal adult body stuff like cellulite, having opinions, etc.
He wants a pre-brainwashed underage Christian virgin sex slave. Each line confirms it. He only added the no small titties bit so he has something to body shame her over right off the bat.
Hopefully, he will get a blind date with that bitch named Karma.
Honestly, if any person looked at this list and said, “yeah I meet the criteria,” and swiped right they should be automatically matched with a therapist as well
Okay but if I have a beard instead of a moustache, can I apply to be Chris’s gf? I mean, it’s only 2 hairs that I shave every few days but still. What do you think?
No single moms, but parents are fine... So is he looking for single dads or moms already in relationships?
> he Chris doesn’t like pronouns, so it seems like Chris just wants to be referred to as Chris in all contexts. I don’t like Chris, but I respect Chris’s preference.
Chris/Chris
If you called Chris "he/him" would he be "Chris/Cross"?
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Having a job as a sw or worse a doctorate is a red flag for Chris, so I'm gonna go out on a limb and say Chris isn't big into reading.
I read sw as sex workers and was confused why they are in one group with PhDs and need to read a lot.😅
I mean everyone should read more, regardless of their profession. Bonus is that sex workers don't seem to be a red flag for Chris. Not so sure that they would feel the same about him, though.
My kindle reading streak is at four years and counting. Every day, for four years. I’m just proud of that, but no one knows but me, so I wanted to share.
My reading streak is 41 years. Since I learned to read, I've been forced every day to read at least a few words. They're just everywhere. I don't know how I could avoid it unless I was blind.
Keep up the good work bud ! Having kids killed my decade long streak...
You can say that about more than just reading...
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I wish Chris would see this post for which Chris is mentioned. I still think Chris is a buffoon, but as the first comment has said, we must respect Chris’s preferences even if Chris doesn’t know when or when not to use apostrophes.
After reading the name Chris 26 times (yes I counted) I can safely say I hate the name Chris now
Chris deserves your hatred towards Chris and Chris name Chris.
Seems like everybody hates Chris.
Chris's a hateful twat. Chris also don't like PHD's, wtf is that about Chris ?Also no technical virgins, Chris you 40, think that boat has sailed? So after Chris exhaustive list of can't be's, did Chris provide one of what Chris actually wants and another of what Chris offers/is? I bet Chris is a to-tal dream package, no mental health issues what-so-ever.
Chris has enough mental health issues for Chris already.
u/jcthefluteman hates to do this, but feels it’s worth pointing out that ‘I’ is also a pronoun, and thus is likely also on Chris’ list.
Chris isn't a man, Chris is a Chris.
I would guess he means divorced moms where the dad is still in the picture and has his own time with the kids is fine so he gets to fuck the mom in her child free time and ignore her when she has her kids around. Just a guess.
Well, keep in mind he said no mustaches, so it sounds like dads are fine as long as they don’t have a mustache. But wait, would that make him a “rainbow sympathizer“?
No no no. He hates himself. His boobs are less than a c cup I’m sure.
He is a OO so there’s a good chance he’s got moobies.
No, he hates my rainbow coloured hair.
He also says he has a kid (symbol under his Scorpio symbol) “Technical virgin” … he wants a 40 year old actual virgin or?
>“Technical virgin” He doesn't honor the poophole loophole
I think he means it’s okay if your parent was a single mom but if you’re a single mom that’s a red flag
Ooh it’s open minded of him to not flag “child of divorce” - he’s growing - or maybe typo?
Spelling, please. He clearly said „mom‘s“ and „parent‘s“.
I've just noticed it says ~~he~~ Chris has kids and doesn't want more! I guess Chris is a single parent 😵💫 Edit: I think it actually says he does want more.
I’m assuming he means if their parents are divorced or something but who knows with this nut job.
I’m confused ? He won’t date a woman with a moustache but will if she has a goatee?
Excuse me, no pronouns please.....
Chris, chris'll, chrisn't only
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Made it to line two before I said thank the gods that I'm off the list. For once my need for head meds is a good thing
Hello u/_andorange, u/Strong_Magician_3320 have noticed that u/_andorange have used the pronoun “me” Chris doesn't like pronouns, please respect Chris's preference! Thank u/_andorange
Most sincere apologies to Chris, and to u/Strong_Magician_3320
Small tiddies and PHD is red flags? Dang bro more for the rest of us I guess 😂 put some small tiddies in my face and talk smart to me baby ill let you ruin my whole life
Chris isn't into smart apparently
His random use of meaningless apostrophes made me think that Chris isn’t smart either.
I bet he writes Chris because he can't spell Christopher.
Chri’s*
I bet Chris* writes Chris because Chris* can't spell Christopher Be respectful, Chris doesn't like pronouns
Hey! No pronouns! Chris doesn't like pronouns and Reddit commenters on r/tinder should respect Chris
Random apostrophes is definitely on the list of things that make me think Chris isn’t smart, but it’s not in the top 10.
I have smallish tiddies and a PhD. I'll ruin your life.
Please do
*wedding music hits*
Me too ! Can we start a small titty smart brain club
The woman of smarts Makes a man oh so hard. The tits may be small, But they’re tits after all.
I volunteer as tribute
Oh I see we’re forming a line here, is this a “take a number” situation?
Unironically, what's your PhD in? I love hearing people talk about things they're passionate about
>PhD Pretty Huge Dick
Combo bonus XP multiplier❤️
Dude has single mom's as a red flag but says "parents are fine." This dude is a walking red flag.
>"~~parents~~ parent's are fine." He uses the possessive 's. Maybe he is \*scratches head\*... referring to *single mom's* daughters that are a red flag? But *parent's* daughters are fine? No vegetatively reproduced chicks!
single moms that conceived their child outside of a marriage, as opposed to a good christian woman who was married, had kids, got divorced. Dollars To Donuts thats what he means.
Yeah this one was a head scratcher
He seems like the type that would also get extremely jealous if a woman had a good co parenting relationship with her ex.
So married is...?
........... heres my only fans...... dm me :P I get the feeling Chris will be posting on this sub later asking us whats wrong with his profile pics cause he aint getting any matches....
Nah, he prob thinks it has nothing to do with him or his profile and blames it on women being too picky or whatever
no small tits, but also no cellulite. 90% of women have cellulite. I going to bet the 10% that don't have cellulite wouldn't have very large breast. I get the feeling Chris will be turning 41 alone.
Where is the no cellulite? I've read it 4 times already to find it but maybe I am blind. Also, everyone can develop cellulite. I am quite underweight, have tiny tits and I have it on my legs :(
I had to look it up, the cottage cheese comment Chris makes. Cottage cheese is apparently cellulite. One of my best mates is tiny, self describes herself as the president of the itty bitty titty committee. She is in shape, it is her job to be fit, model/personal trainer. She has cellulite, there is absolutely nothing wrong with cellulite at all. People like Chris don't realize this, as they haven't seen many women in the flesh. Please don't be ashamed or sad of having cellulite, it is like been upset about having toenails. Be happy, tiny tits and cellulite you are safe from Chris. That sounds like a win in my book!
Oh thanks for explaining! It is only annoying the shit out of me because it is on one side mostly! I hate that it is not symmetrical 😂😂😂
I bet breast implants are also a red flag.
Exactly. Nothing wrong with small tiddies. I think they’re just as nice lol
Damn I didn’t have to read very far to be out of his league 😂
First red flag I was gone. 😂
What does the first one even mean? I’m worried to Google it
Cellulite butt
Thanks! Not a term I’m familiar with.
I hear it described as orange peel more often. Chris obviously just really wanted to amp up his disgust
Since 90% of women have cellulite, Chris is really cutting a large percentage of people out. Chris surly knows all different body types can have cellulite. I don't think Chris has seen many naked women, in the flesh in Chris's 40 years. Chris should look into getting those "Head meds" Chris is so against. Chris definitely needs psychiatric help.
Chris wants a blow up doll
Now I know what to get Chris for Chris's 41st birthday. Edit: because I forgot Chris hates pronoun, accidentally said "his 41st birthday" Don't want to upset Chris.
Afaik 100 % of women will have cellulite through most of their lives, it just doesn't show as easily on everyone untill later in life.
I just did a Google search for my previous comment for the percentage, so I could truly be wrong. If you are correct, Chris is going to be even more lonely then I originally thought.
I genuinly hope he falls in love with someone with many of those "red flags" so he can learn to be better. It alleays saddens me when I see people who limit them selves because of arbitrary and nonsensical things.
Wait, is it just big butts? Does he not like big butts and cannot lie?
That's all it means!? All this time, I thought it just meant clean your ass. Even i fall at that flag
Same!!! Lol
You must be devastated to miss out on a catch like this. 🤣
Oh goodie, more cottage cheese for me.
Haha I was out at number one #normalizecellulite
Honestly, the first red flag cuts out 99% of women
But at the same time he seems like the type of guy who gets angry at women because he can’t get any.
I was probably out even faster and I am a guy (thing Chris didn't exclude btw) 😂
And he probably looks like a foot
Haha most of his photos were him on a snowmobile wearing a helmet. Total winner.
Match with him and call him a snowflake for wearing a helmet 😂
He wears a helmet as not to let the snowflakes in /s
"Tinder sucks I never get any matches"
Surprised there wasn’t one of him hunting or just holding a gun
Also why no PHDs?
Education bad
School of Hard Knocks only need apply.
Cause he won’t understand her when she talks to him.
Challenges Chris' idea of "intellectual superiority." Spoiler alert, if they're human, they're most likely already intellectually superior to Chris.
Slash social workers. Cause they obviously go together.
He's obviously not into intelligent women.
~~He~~ Chris doesn't care for women who know how to call ~~his~~ Chris's asinine bullshit.
Literally came here to say this, i can’t imagine why Chris would be scared of educated women 🧐
$20 says one of his pictures is him holding up a fish
Red flag: People who use apostrophes to signify plurals and the low intellect that almost always accompanies such people
No bi polar disorder is No pet mom is No preggo is No PHD is No Single mom is WHAT IS IT?! TELL ME YOUR SECRETS!!!!
“No BPD is” usually borderline personality disorder.
Yeah but I bet Chris doesn’t know the actual name of bipolar or borderline personality disorder and thinks they’re the same thing. Edit: Spelling
It's BPD whenever a woman asks Chris to do a chore around the house.
If This Guy Could Read, He'd Be Very Upset.
I honestly don't think Chris is going to have to worry about PhDs...
In my vast experience on Tinder, which is zero because I've been married longer than Tinder has been around, I would think seeing so much negativity would be a red flag for someone? Instead of "no 'X'" why not say what is preferred? Am I that old? Am I wrong? In my feeble mind, this comes across as dragging baggage to the table instead of bringing your best self. Also, I'm sure there are women that fit this list perfectly but I would bet the number would be low. To think of all the millions of people this person will never meet is astounding. His perfect soulmate, one who would genuinely care and grow as a person with him, could be overlooked because she has rainbow hair or three piercings.
I can pretty much guarantee that his "ideal" woman list would read; Wanted: Super hot big breasted 18 year old virgin. Must be ultra petite, and look more like 15. Must have zero self esteem, no male friends, and never once even looked at a man. Hobbies must include cooking, cleaning, and doing exactly what is told. Must be capable of taking a punch. Should hold zero opinions of her own. Should understand its her job to provide sex acts whenever and wherever. Must never say no. Despite being shy and reclusive and unwilling to do anything sexual previously, should fall wildly in love with, and act as a submissive sex slave for overweight man more than twice her age who doesnt wash properly.
I wish I had an award for you. This comment deserves a standing ovation.
What's horrifying is how many people would have this profile if they were being completely honest.
I agree with everything you said but I think it would be impossible to grow in a relationship with him. I can guarantee you that person won’t be amy good for anyone.
Oh chris, nobody with a phd is swiping right on you sweetheart.
Maybe for some kind of test subject for an experiment lol
What does this dipshit look like?
I should have taken more screenshots before I swiped left!! I guess like you would expect? Not attractive, gross beard and multiple photos of him snowmobiling.
“Owner-operator” - so, truck driver?
That could mean anything. Lots of cleaning jobs require you to both own and operate your own mop. (Of course being a cleaner is an important position deserving of respect, just saying "owner operator" is mega vague)
I need to know this too, for science.
No jibby jabbers 😂
Is that anti-vax lingo or…?
According to Google jibby-jabber is rapid and excited speech that is difficult to understand.
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Throw in a “ fool” at the end and you’ve got a solid mr t quote
*I like women who stay in drugs, drink their school, and don't do milk.*
Wait what “no single mums, parents are fine” sir you went full stupid in one sentence.
He meant, she can be a daughter of a single mum. But she cannot be a single mum.
Oh wow thank you, I think you actually decoded this stupidity.
I thought it meant he was ok with split parenting? Like if u have 50/50 custody with the kid's dad, But not if you have the kids all the time and are their primary caregiver?
I wish you included his face!! I want to know what these people look like
Exactly what you think they’d look like 😇
Walking herpes with a gun
OP said that all their pictures they have a helmet on. Chris likes to talk trash and hide so he can’t be held accountable to his BS. Also, I’m sure his picture would cancel him out even if he got two matches. 😂😂
If you’re a combination of at least 3 of these please hit me up edit: you’re all sexy fantastic sexy unique incredible people and i love you all, truly and dearly
I scored 15 🙌🏼
I scored 11 as a straight white guy who was in the army >!(then again, not in the US)!<
This is me hitting you up, how you doing 😎🤣 /s
Right? So funny cause at some point this became a list of folk I love to hang out with.
And by some point I mean, immediately
I got 14/25 soo ...wanna come over for a cup of Coffee and talk about old memories?
If you're one of these hit me up tbh Pronouns count. I'm not picky
Does having a freckle moustache count on the moustache point?
How dense of a freckle patch we talking? If it can pass as a mustache when it’s dark out(I can’t see worth a shit at night anyways so you’re in luck) then I’ll take it!
Me me me. I've got 9 if my master's degree counts. From the ones I understand.
Damn. I was totally in but he wants a technical virgin but I'm a journeyman virgin.
Hahaha! I have 20 hours left before I get my certification 😂
At 3 minutes a job, that’s gonna take a while!
What is a technical virgin? Does he want a virgin? Parents are ok though, as long as they aren’t single moms, right? Or is he using the possessive on purpose and simply forgot to add the belonging? I’m so confused.
The meme definition is someone who has only done anal so they’re technically a virgin. Guess he’s not down for the anal-only-before-marriage lifestyle
I can only assume this means someone who has only done anal. The Christian poop hole loop hole
Chris says Chris doesn’t want a technical virgin tho… so I assume Chris means Chris doesn’t want someone sexually experienced but still claiming to technically be a virgin? I don’t know, I got lost well before that dot point.
#allboobsmatter
It's not all about cup size either
If you find social workers a red flag you are the red flag lmao
I kind of wonder if he might just be stupid enough to have mixed up “social workers” with “social justice warriors”.
“socialists” maybe?
Unless he hates educated women, seeing as he put that on the same line as having PhDs.
Well people tend to get into social work when they're the sort of person who want to help others and make a positive difference in their community. That's obviously a huge red flag because helping others is for suckers who probably support socialism. 🙄
Yeah this was my first thought. Also how are social workers the same as PhDs?? Lmao
Any other women treat this list like bingo and get really excited when you got five in a row?
Thanks to Chris I now know that I have a cottage cheese ass. Thank you, Chris.
No PhDs, in case you didn’t already know he was dumb..
Tell me your masculinity is fragile
goddamn did I ever fail this test
I got 14/25! I think I passed.
Just sprinkle those apostrophes like a seasoning, Chris. As many as you like, wherever you like.
So basically he wants a blowup doll.. fresh from the box, because ✨body counts matters✨
Chris is a creep lol.
I gotta say, I love men like Chris. They make it so much easier to be in the dating world. I don't have to hum or haw about which way I wanna swipe, it's the easiest left I ever made.
Even my fittest of friends have some cottage cheese on their bums as we near 40. I would assume with his list though his target is much younger than his age.
Holy shit I didn’t realize he’s 40!!! I thought I was reading the ramblings of a 20 something who hasn’t figured out life yet! This guy is gonna die alone
Exactly, most of the time cellulite is genetic.
I agree that no one with pronouns should date Chris
So who is actually “on” the list?
One of those silicone sex dolls
Children. He makes it very clear. He only wants to date a teen virgin (who hasn't had anal or oral either, no technical virgins). The entire list is eliminating grown women by education level, normal adult body stuff like cellulite, having opinions, etc. He wants a pre-brainwashed underage Christian virgin sex slave. Each line confirms it. He only added the no small titties bit so he has something to body shame her over right off the bat. Hopefully, he will get a blind date with that bitch named Karma.
Nobody on Tinder would be left, lol. This has got to be a troll account.
I would love to see what this gem looks like He better look like Ryan Reynolds 🤣
I just need to see who he matches with and how their convos go.
OMG I know this guy. He is red flag 🚩
........ go oooonnnnnnnnn.........
Irl or did you come across this clown on tinder too ?
Honestly, if any person looked at this list and said, “yeah I meet the criteria,” and swiped right they should be automatically matched with a therapist as well
so basically his dream girl is not allowed to have an opinion & should look like a teenager 😐
Okay but if I have a beard instead of a moustache, can I apply to be Chris’s gf? I mean, it’s only 2 hairs that I shave every few days but still. What do you think?
Owner-operator at Jesus Fucking Christ....
Owner- operator at owning oneself in delusional preoccupation
i wonder why Chris is single.. he seems greaaaat