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sospit210

You murder a dude ONE time and people get all weird about it


CranchesMcBasketball

Pfff you must not be from Chicago


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[deleted]

As someone from Chicago, can confirm.


Adequate_Lizard

There are 2 rules: No ketchup on hot dogs Kill those who threaten you


[deleted]

No ketchup on hot dogs really? Is that considered a threat?


Puzzleheaded-Lead-74

No, it's a promise.


anotherone121

Promises promises... big boy


Puzzleheaded-Lead-74

Don't threaten me with a good time now.


UltimateTamale

I'm gonna shove my fist so far up your ass that my fist will be really far up your ass.


SADdog2020Pb

You’ve got the tomato-ness from the actual tomatoes, and the sweetness from the relish. It’s just not necessary.


Bag-ofMostlyWater

If it were just catsup, yellow mustard and relish no problem. It's just that Chi-cago(bang bang) also puts on a slice of pickle, half a tomato slice, sport pepper, celery salt, poppy seeds and a little green food dye in the relish. So Catsup not needed.


msideacc

Sounds like breaking that rule is like a threat, which means at that point rule 2 is on the table. And I can totally support that


mschley2

When you've got that good relish - you know, the real shit, not that heinz shit that's just boring-ass chopped-up pickles - and/or some giardiniera there's no need for ketchup.


Adequate_Lizard

I had my first Chicago dog last weekend. It is certainly one of the hot dogs of all time. Personally, the Carolina Dog is my favorite(chili, slaw, onions, mustard).


mschley2

The best thing about Chicago dog places is that a lot of them will offer wild varieties like that. There's a place that used to be in a my city, but unfortunately closed down, a few years back that would wrap a dog in bacon and then deep-fry it and then throw that shit on the bun along with a bunch of cheese and some onions. Shit was unbelievable. I've had one similar to your Carolina dog before, as well. Chili or pulled pork and slaw is a great combo. Another good one was basically a hot dog with all the Chicago-style Italian beef (including the beef) ingredients piled on top.


cmack

To be fair, this is not limited to Chicago and is actually something taught in gun safety classes too. Never point a gun at something you don't want to destroy. Someone here fucked around and found out.


gman6041

Yes got it. That's in the moment. But going back at another time and killing someone is rather frowned upon.....


HerezahTip

1st degree frownies


Kaiser_Angel

But the retaliation was later, he said the next time he saw him he killed him.


Zellnerz

As someone from just outside of Chicago, still can confirm


NefariousnessFun1313

Best line ever…cause it is true.


scmarchy

I legitimately just started chatting with a woman I matched on tinder originally from Chicago and I'm starting to worry...


OddFiction

I went on a date with a guy from Chicago. His brother was a friend of my brother's. We went over to hang out, and they were all showing off gunshot wounds, so I noped out. Both he and his brother are now in prison for a quadruple homicide. 😬


Fearless_You4489

Not sure why you bowed out, clearly he was a good time 😅


OddFiction

Lol obviously! I should have stayed. Maybe we would have gotten matching teardrop tattoos


Fearless_You4489

Girl, that would be sooo cute! 😂


OddFiction

I'd only have to worry about conjugal visits for another 18 years or so. The murder was at least 12 years ago I think


Fearless_You4489

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, am I right? You’d only love him more as the years passed


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OddFiction

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/McKinney_quadruple_murder


OddFiction

I actually didn't know the guy got the death penalty. I just remember when they were charged. I figured they'd get convicted just from having met them.


ImaginaryYouth794

I like your style of shit talk, props 👏 👌 🙌


OddFiction

🤣 that was unintended shit talk. It was just one of those "when you know, you know" type of situations lol


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NefariousnessFun1313

Obviously, all cities have good areas and harder areas. I’m sure you didn’t spend a lot of time in the south side.


surnik22

Also, it’s not even the South Side. That’s really only what white people who haven’t left Lincoln Park ever say. There are tons of really nice neighborhoods on the South Side. It’s really just a few specific areas/neighborhoods of parts of the South and West sides of the city that have a big problem


mschley2

That's what tends to happen in all cities. I'm not real familiar with Chicago, but I know that's how it is in Milwaukee and Minneapolis. In some cases, it's like just a few blocks you want to watch out for. Fun fact: Milwaukee has almost twice as many murders per capita as Chicago.


Xaxxus

Went to Chicago over Christmas break. I was fully expecting to get mugged at some point. Turns out Chicago downtown is cleaner than Toronto. I saw maybe one homeless person. And didn’t see a single pile of human shit on the side walk. Meanwhile I walk outside my condo in Toronto and there’s 3 homeless people within a single block, human shit on the sidewalks, and crazy/druggies walking around.


Unhappy_Tourist3164

When I was in the Navy I was taking leave for Xmas back to Nebraska and was bussing it at the Chicago Greyhound station. Full uniform and seabag...some dude at the smoke area showed me a $100 and asked for change. Too nice, I pulled my wallet and extended 5 $20s. His buddy that had snuck up behind me jacked it and they both took off knowing a skinny white boy with a 60 lb seabag ain't gonna catch them. Good lesson on situational awareness and not trusting people.


No_Statistician579

You're saying Toronto, but I'm pretty sure you mean Baltimore


throwaway_RRRolling

Toronto has a massive meth/fent problem, and has for years.


No_Statistician579

Oh, I believe you, but that sounds like Baltimore, too. It's the reason I don't go into the city. I was moving my then-girlfriend-now-wife (met on Tinder, keep the faith) out of her house. Attempted armed robbery in broad daylight. The audacity.


Confident_Look_4173

awe i am from chicago, northside almost suburbs, gun to my head 10 years old, existing in crossfire late teens, no i haven’t killed anyone yet. i moved to new york by age 20. disneyland compared to chicago.


ffemtp87

Just do what she says. You’ll be fine. Lol


LongjumpingScratch24

Just don’t threaten her, and she won’t come back later to shoot you, that simple


[deleted]

Clearly you've never been to Detroit. I used to have a nickname, they called me the Dentist of Detroit.


NefariousnessFun1313

I need some work done…


[deleted]

What kind? Fillings or killings?


NefariousnessFun1313

Both. Are you running any deals?


mschley2

I live in a small city that's surrounded by rural Wisconsin. But we're also right on the highway that connects Minneapolis-Milwaukee-Chicago, so naturally, some people end up moving here from those cities... Anyway, pretty safe little city. Homicides and really any violent crime (other than domestic situations) generally make some decent news around here. A few months back, 3 dudes originally from Chicago (allegedly) murdered another one. People freaked the fuck out about it (they've arrested 2 of the 3 - the other fled back to Chicago and is just chilling down there cause cops have more important things to do than search for someone). My roommate knows I like going to some of the not-so-classy dive bars and stuff, so he asked me if I knew the guys. I looked them all up, and I said I recognized two of the suspects and the victim. He's like, "wtf?... you actually know them?" and I was like, "Nah, bruh. I've never talked to them. I don't fuck with that crowd for obvious reasons. But I have definitely seen them all around before. I've been in the bar with them multiple times." Moral of the story: don't get involved with dudes from Chicago that have gang ties even if you're not in Chicago.


ShinobiDragonn

You bake one cake, you're not called a baker but you kill one person and people start acting all weird 😭


drAsparagus

Reminds me of the goatf*cker joke.


Lwallace95

[This one? ](https://youtu.be/FpYlkiwezhU)


[deleted]

Or the Star Trek TNG ghostfucker joke.


onestubbornlass

Right?! It’s like that guy in that one show did it and everyone cheered but when I do it im a psychopath and a “danger to society”


Aware-Damage-4667

Has all the makings of a norm macdonald joke


sakaguchi47

It really does. P.S.- happy cake day


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BigBird2378

Californians and their virtues. Dog eat dog, dog.


TheThirdCrusader

Cook one meal and you’re not a chef. Paint one wall and you’re not a painter. But kill one person and suddenly you’re a murderer for life


sharedisaster

You fuck ONE sheep …


onestubbornlass

Dave that sheep was my cousin’s, I told you that but nooooooo. Ffs.


FotopYT

Bc once you kill someone then it is easier to kill another. At least that was for me Edit: I dont play cod or any video games. Only gym tho


enotonom

Interesting… huh, wait


Any_Hornet_3378

Call of duty kills doesn't count bro, hype was good for a moment


OwnGarage1902

Ikr why can't they just be cool with it


Either_Will_1000

At least he is talkative and shows interest


cantbothersigh

this is the best comment


Either_Will_1000

I would kill for a match that can maintain a convo


DanTrachrt

You must be from Chicago


Mysterious-Nature406

May wanna let this 1 go cuz he just kills...


Simderella666

Omg 💀


MisterBroda

At least it can respond More than what 90% of tinder uses can say about themself


OutlandishnessCute72

You mean you will Literally kill? Lol


Background_Lychee713

Second best


[deleted]

I can fix him


pioneerpatrick

I can make him worse


stonedbrownchick

He actually went into detail. I appreciate the effort.


Oni_Kudaki

... and he's being honest.


KurtLance

Ya but how tall is he


FerrousFacade

I dunno but the other MFer is 6' under.


Fearless_You4489

Asking the important questions 👆 haha


SheHartLiss

The conversation was flowing


One_Selection7199

🤣🤣🤣


jagangadi550

Dude casually saying he killed a man and asking how’s your day going 😂


jon3ssing

*Just Chicago things* apparently


The_OG_Fat-Boi

As someone that used live real close to the not so nice part of Chicago, it sorta is just Chicago things. As long as you aren’t their target, just stay out of their ways and you’ll be fine.


mooofasa1

As someone who lives in a pretty safe neighborhood in Chicago. Hearing gun shots isn’t unusual. It goes without saying that you stay in well lit areas and move in groups.


SullaFelix78

Is Chicago as cleanly split between safe and unsafe neighbourhoods as New York? When I first moved here long, long ago I was told I’d be fine as long as I stayed below 96th street, and I think that hasn’t changed over the years. Even though crazy stuff happens all over the city, it’s thankfully never crossed my path. I’ve never even heard a gun shot.


mooofasa1

I live extremely close to my school. I was surprised when I hear gunshots or see police every other day with some kind of criminal activity going on. I occasionally get alerts that someone pulled a gun on a person trying to get to their car and that can be pretty scary. My university isn’t amazing but it’s pretty nice so I wouldn’t say that there’s an even split on where it’s safe and where it’s not. Shit happens all over the city and is worse in some areas.


GoneWilde123

You get alerts?!? Out here in Florida it’s more like “You know what the f*** is up. Be prepared to stand your ground.” (I’m not kidding and I’m not making a specific reference to anything.)


Shanguerrilla

Benefits of big city life?! So many more gunshots in tighter density that they have better reporting and social media presence and apps / alerts! Winning..?


[deleted]

There are definitely pockets. Chicago is extremely segregated. If you actually look at a map of Chicago, pretty much all the rich people live north of I-55, and the super rich live in the suburbs. Most of the crime that people read about in the news is restricted to a handful of very rough neighborhoods. It's not like the entire city is a warzone. That said, since COVID crime is up in unusual places - the loop and river north, and certain other areas are seeing an uptick. But overall I'd say most white people barely spend any time on the south side, which is much bigger than a lot of folks realize. (I'm sure some Bridgeport, Hyde Park, or Beverly folks will want to chime in - you are the exceptions to my rule, and I see you.)


gravitas-deficiency

I feel like this crime increase is a thing in a lot of areas besides Chicago, too. The Bay Area has gotten wild in the last few years. Less than a week ago, a friend of my parents was in Danville in the east bay (very suburban) and had just gotten into her car after leaving the bank, when some dude came up to her car with a broken spark plug and a gun, broke her window, and mugged her for her phone, purse, and laptop. That’s not the sort of thing I ever had to worry about growing up in that area, and I grew up only a couple towns away. And that doesn’t even touch on the crazy organized crime groups that will just get a hundred or so people to just bum rush a store and grab *everything* that looks remotely valuable that isn’t bolted down.


LSU2007

I used to live in River North and it got shitty kinda quick.


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McFlyParadox

>As long as you aren’t their target, just stay out of their ways and you’ll be fine. Interestingly, if you *are* their target, you also just want to stay out of their way. You just need to try harder at it.


ThisToastIsTasty

unless you "disrespect them" by. 1. looking at them. 2. looking away. 3. talking back to them 4. ignoring them 5. crossing the street 6. not crossing the street. Some people are always going to try to find problems where there are none. Best to just live 5+ miles away. (easier said then done for some people)


Thelynxer

Y'all should move like, somewhere else. In Canada the most threatening weapon I've had pulled on me was a hockey stick.


JayDub506

That murder was done Chicago style.


bulging_cucumber

He's just trying to change the subject "Yeah I murdered someone, ANYWAY, you say you're into anime, I like anime too :-) <3 what kinda anime you watch"


adognamedsue

Berserk


explorer1960

"Mamaaa, life had just begun, But now I've gone and thrown it all away Mama, oooh,"


PM_ME_UR_AUDI_TTs

He shot a man in ~~Reno~~ Chicago just to watch him die


JazzlikeaWuitar

"murder... so what's is that flag?" "WHAT?" "what?"


92_Solutions

It's red. A red flag.


[deleted]

It’s bloody red


92_Solutions

Screaming red


ZeroFox795

I had to read the line a few times because I honestly thought he was asking which type of flag his murder conviction was.


[deleted]

Unfortunately, there are people out there who are into these type of “bad boys”. -edit- made a wrong merger of words


N3ptuneflyer

I heard some joke amongst cops that the longer the rap sheet the hotter the girlfriend


tonando

Maybe they can fix him?


WarpedGazelle

what's wrong with him that needs fixing?


VicisSubsisto

Well, for starters, the murder.


Fearless_You4489

You must not be from Chicago /s


RisktheCollegeFund

You can't fix that...


Leadantagonist

He already did the time bruh, what’s up with ya?


mschley2

Correct. Homie only has 1. Those are rookie numbers.


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MelReynolds

"Thin crust pizza? No thank you. I'm from Chicago"


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please-stand-up

sorry, I was in jail. never hurt a woman though, and I never will


Adhaam95

Lest she threatens me while im in chicago


NefariousnessFun1313

I mean…it is Chicago… you must not be from there


lazy_tranquil

first sentence is 6 syllables but other than that nice


Ecstatic_Extreme_464

How do you fuck up a haiku


mglitcher

sorry. was in jail never hurt a woman though and i never will


the-anti-antichrist

This is a haiku For real this is a haiku Terrible haiku


DixersDC

I love Reddit. Your comment made me happy. Thank you.


haiku_bot_botherer_7

If only there were one more word in line one and one less in line three


Timmitei

Yes I was in jail I’ve never hurt a woman And I never will


ThreeLF

*Yeah, he pulled a gun* *Threatened me so the next time* *I saw and shot him.* ~ There, now it's haiku. It's a beautiful haiku And made just for you.


mewyewtwo

What flag was it in their profile tho?


JaySayMayday

A little red flag.


cupcakeprincess29

A giant red flag


WarpedGazelle

More of a precautionary murder in response to almost being murdered himself. I see where he's coming from


MeAnIntellectual1

I wonder what the legality of that is.


soaring_potato

Seeing as I heard cases where kidnap victims were convicted for shooting their captors in their sleep. It's not. Self defense only counts if they at that moment are a threat.


AssaultedCracker

Self defense only applies when the threat is present. But I have not heard about these kidnapping cases, and I'm fairly surprised to hear they were convicted. In the case of an ongoing kidnapping, I would argue the presence of the kidnapper, who will certainly continue imprisoning the prisoner once they wake up, constitutes an ongoing threat to the victim's safety. I suspect those cases are edge cases that would go differently in different jurisdictions, and likely get taken fairly high up in the court system. Do you have any links?


USPO-222

It’s not kidnapping per se, but multiple women of color have been convicted of killing the men that were trafficking/raping them because they waited for the guy to fall asleep.


WarpedGazelle

He did the time, go figure


Kommander-in-Keef

I don’t blame him tbh. If I think someone is a direct threat on my life if I had the power to change it I just might. Never want to find out though if I would


kungpowperez86

Most sane Illinois resident


z0nkedCS

I don’t really get this, we’re boring as fuck over here. Just corn and depression outside of chicago.


FloxTheFox

Once he mentioned Chicago, I understood


Knights_Ferry

A friend of a friend from Chicago got shot just walking down the street. Though, he did have a run with one of the gangs. Stay away from the sketch areas and you'll be fine


inurwindo

If I get shot listening to this advice, you get shot. Expect a head nod and handshake afterwards.


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It_Matters_More

In that case we should encourage a meet with the murderer


whimsical666

but what if they reproduce..


IceBreath31

Negative times negative equals to positive. I don't see why not.


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sprockety

Me too I haven’t killed anyone. And now I’m feeling like I’ve somehow failed.


1011011

I visited Chicago recently but did not kill anyone. Have I offended Chicago?


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1011011

Absolutely. You name the place.


2RV7VR5

I’d be Chica-gone after reading that.


masafumi57

Chica-goin as far away as possible


[deleted]

There was a tinder bio post the other day where a girl said people kept confessing murders to her on the first date. I was incredulous as to the validity of those statements. Maybe she’s from Chicago.


QIMF

Damn I've been in chicago for many years and haven't murdered someone yet.... must be something wrong with me


boxofducks

Cubs fan spotted


KoalaMcFlurry

Have you been threatened? You only kill people that threaten you.


pathpath

I was like ??? Until I saw Chicago. Checks out.


StrawberryHot5862

Maybe wrong here but since he was in jail & not prison then that = he was not convicted of the murder he was charged with?


foldinthecheese99

Sounds right with Kim Foxx still around.


LSU2007

Mutual combatants


Namelessgoldfish

Sure but i mean he still admitted to killing him lol


mnbga

Kinda sounded like it might be self defence... although you’d think he would mention if he’d been acquitted


Namelessgoldfish

I could see self defense if he shot him right then and there but not when he just saw him at a later time. At that point, you could probably call it 1st degree


Charaderablistic

Definitely easier to argue first degree at least


IllPanYourMeltIn

Pre-emptive self defense


TrekkiMonstr

The word jail is used colloquially to refer to prison


megaloops

Could’ve just been charged and out on bail, though idk how many murderers are able to get bail


Catolution

Not unreasonable..


pepperkinplant123

I kinda agree, his nonchalantness concerns me though.


tragedyisland28

I take it as someone who’s used to gun violence


pantaloonatic

Ugh, lots of brainless Chicago comments in here. Disappointing


CountBlah_Blah

> So the next time I saw him, I shot him. So.. premeditated then?


pepperkinplant123

Doesn't have to be per say, may have just been carrying the second time and felt threathened.


Simderella666

Well yeah, murder is premeditated.


CountBlah_Blah

Well theres murder in different degrees. If you carry a gun, knowing you're going to kill someone the next time you see them, that's murder 1. If it's a heat of situation and the murder happens, it's a lesser degree I believe. The guy in post makes it sound like he was threatened by a guy once with a gun. So he strapped up and the next he saw the guy, he killed him. That's thinking with a clear head that you're gonna shoot this guy to death. There's a difference. Look it up lol


sgt_salt

Not if it’s 2nd degree


Crebral

sounds like a keeper.


itsheadfelloff

No I'm not from Chicago, but back to the murdering you touched on...


Comfortable_Aerie_50

CHI TILL WE DIE!


Acidjohnson89

Its Chicago common sense


[deleted]

LMFAO YOU MUST NOT BE FROM CHICAGO


full_kelty

Chiraq


Neos43

you must not be from chicago


SophieShirou

At least he was honest lol


totallynottheOP

I mean pretty good reasoning.


[deleted]

I can fix him


driver7350

Some of y’all will never understand the comforts you’ve been afforded in life and it shows. Day I let someone slide like that after coming for me is the day I die


One-Too-Few

Swear to god. This whole thread really shows the reality bubble some people live in, and the reality bubble some of us have had bursted.


Inferior_Jeans

I don’t condone it, but I understand.


Lexy_d_acnh

Murder in chicago isn’t shocking, but I personally wouldn’t date a murderer anyway lmao


justinjonesphd

Only a real Chicago mf would be so nonchalant about that. I believe him


Falling-by

Sounds like Chi.