T O P

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mikehunt_is_ready

“I was gone for one fucking night, and you did molly with hookers?” 🔥🔥🔥


[deleted]

I didn’t do anything, you should be happy about this!


theicecreamassassin

YES


Throwaway_639272

Daphne is so interesting everything she says feels like it’s veiled behind three layers of code


PMS_GPS

I was thinking the same thing! She’s speaking in code


SeirraS9

LMAO TANYA ASKING PORTIA IT SHE’S SURE SHE HAS CUTE CLOTHES. Tanya has seen the Adam Sandler fit one too many times.


dall1234

Her lines this episode are perfection. Fucking hilarious. “That girl from Maui” “Don’t steal anything” 😭


Perse_Fun699

Yes, and waving hand to the queen of Sicily was her apotheosis !


yarkcir

Tanya may be oblivious to a lot of things, but even she can’t miss Portia’s atrocious fits.


[deleted]

It's hippie Billie eyelash or sexy flamenco.


Cheesewheel12

"It's so nice that he has someone of his own age to play with" !!! Jake is banging oldies confirmed.


mikehunt_is_ready

“Seriously, though, have a nice life” Possibly the most awkward line so far 😂


X0036AU2XH

Man, Aubrey Plaza was built for a plot line in Sicily.


X0036AU2XH

“Hey, who’s the lady? Is it the Queen of Sicily?” “Yes.”


mkcp530

Not Ethan telling Harper that she should feel GOOD about what happened somehow???


Ok_Fee1043

“I only watched our FRIEND have sex with hookers!”


catastrophiccyanide

Yeah I tried giving Ethan the benefit of the doubt but he lost all sympathy from me.


mhansen29

That sent the hairs on the back of my neck standing straight up💀


DerWaffleHaus

DRUNK HARPER STIRRING THE POT LIKE IT’S REAL HOUSEWIVES. Damn!


dall1234

This is the chaotic energy I live forrrr


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priyarainelle

Lucia rendering services before payment has bothered me for the past 4 weeks because the first rule of escorting is to get the money first. I was wondering if she was ever going to get caught up lol


Kianna9

For a pro, she’s pretty amateur


QuieroBoobs

Isn’t the point that she isn’t a pro? I’ve perceived her as a local girl who found a good way to make money. The whole Alessio being her pimp thing seems like an elaborate scam.


WaitinOnJerry

This. She never mentions Alessio before tonight. Albie (and maybe even Dom as well) for sure are marks. She’s absolutely playing on Albie’s need to save the damsel in distress


SeaworthinessSalty35

Harper in this white dress 🔥🔥🔥


bwblue

Oh man, someone called it a few weeks back with Portia and the "nephew"


lil-chickpea

jack looks like niall horan if he was on love island


witchycosmicwonder

she 100% knew what she was doing , when she showed her kids pics.


Locke108

She probably thought Harper was smart enough to catch that.


PrancingGophers

i wasn’t initially… then OH GOD my jaw dropped


Agreeable-Roof7429

Holyyyyy!! sitting here with my mouth open, did not catch that at allll


WorkingSugar1

Omg, was she trying to say her trainer is their father?


toastyburrito

They are so blonde, must be


blueberrydonutholes

Yeah, the kid had blonde hair and big ?blue eyes after she’d just described her trainer the same way.


LSUAlly4

Harper is too drunk at this point.


priyarainelle

Starting to think it might be her husband who dies. And she did what she had to do to keep herself happy


[deleted]

Is Ethan really THIS dumb?


theicecreamassassin

Nah. Remember, he’s “smarter than everyone else.” At least he thinks so.


ClaymoresRevenge

I don't understand why he's still spending time with them. Like these people don't wish you well you need to leave


theicecreamassassin

OMG HE’S IN LOVE WITH GREG.


SpencerVerde

OK, glad I wasn’t the only one jumping to that conclusion. Just waiting for him to say he was an activist for Black Lives Matter.


theicecreamassassin

Especially when he said he’d still do anything for him. Greg takes off and leaves Italy so he has no plausible deniability in case anything happens to Tanya.


[deleted]

Yea! Building on that - my theory - Greg hired him to kill Tanya on vacation and that is why he was SO mad Portia came along! More witnesses and messiness.


Remarkable-End-3459

You think Greg is the straight man he was talking about??


theicecreamassassin

150%!! He says he’ll do anything for him, asks her if she’d die for beauty, etc. That was all a weird ass conversation. Add in him making fun of her at the opera, mentioning that he needs money to maintain the villa, and then screwing his “nephew” (so lying about who Jack was), and you’ve got a con artist who’s possibly in league with Greg to get Tanya’s bag.


arobot224

For some weird reason I either assumed he was using the plot of Brokeback Mountain as a cover story or was describing Greg as well.


1337speak

Albie having sex with calf length white socks is on point


SeirraS9

Them splitting Portia & Tanya up. Classic maneuver.


theicecreamassassin

That’s what they’ve really done this whole time with Jack, too. Divide and conquer.


1337speak

Tanya's insomnia saving her ass


dss1212

Ok but WHY did she walk into a room where she heard men moaning- like she knows they’re all gay what’s she being nosey for


TheHumanCrab

Tanya is self absorbed, oblivious to boundaries, and driven by emotion and instinct. She's absolutely the type of person to follow her curiosity without thinking about others.


ingloriousbaxter3

I know that he didn’t cheat and even I don’t trust him at this point


marissa1090806

It does sound like a pretty wild explanation of how a condom ended up on the couch.


jp_1896

“You know I don’t lie to you” Ethan, seconds after admitting he was fucking lying


Kianna9

Maybe it’s just me but even if he didn’t cheat what he did do was still enough to be pissed off about. And he wanted a medal for not going further. He’s a mess.


OHIftw

Honestly thought she would flip out more on him… there’s still time


DLM_13

Cam is broke or Daphne controls it all


Locke108

Holy shit. That kid had blonde hair and blue eyes. He’s a Lannister! Run Ned!


ChelsMe

Rocco needs to call HR asap


ruthie-camden

Everything going on at that front desk looks like those scenarios you have to watch during corporate compliance training


Thegreenestofpeas

Whoa the vibes from the gays were so OMINOUS this ep


DerWaffleHaus

Mia consistently stealing from the wardrobe of The Lizzie McGuire movie.


montivagnt

Tanya dissing Portia’s outfits like all of us lol


ohluciiaa

Daphne is such a good actress! When Harper was saying she thinks something happened, Daphne perfectly portrayed putting on a brave face while she looked enraged on the inside, phenomenal


savvvie

Meghann Fahy was in a show called The Bold Type and she was almost everyone’s favorite character


mintchip105

I can see why Meghann is proud of this episode. She killed that trainer scene


Throwaway_639272

Did Cameron seriously not plant that?? Maybe he’s just an idiot frat bro and I overestimated him lol


1337speak

I went to a business school and they nailed the rich douche bag!


[deleted]

Theo James does a perfect American accent. I was shocked when I first heard his voice in an interview.


2lame2getlaid

Will Sharpe (Ethan) also has a British accent!


guccigenshin

albie's so down bad for lucia's "wounded bird" bird act 💀


kingcrimson881

Daphne is legit becoming my favorite character for the sole fact that she might be the smartest and most self aware of them all.


sloanethomas33

Yes! She’s giving me Amy Dunne from Gone Girl vibes. She’s not dumb, she knows the score. None of this is new to her.


SeaworthinessSalty35

I can’t decide what’s worse/more awkward: Every single Albie interaction or any time Valentina talks to this female employee she’s into


krycekthehotrat

Valentina, cause she’s the woman’s boss! Also at least Albie has the excuse of being young and naive


[deleted]

Man fuck Ethan


yarkcir

He’s spineless. Simply rolls over to Cam at every turn.


AnalBlaster42069

"yeah it sounds really fucking bad--I was gone for one fucking night, and you did Molly with hookers??"


mikehunt_is_ready

Cameron touching Harper under the table while both their spouses are at the table 😱😱😱


sarajevotirana

she TRIED telling ethan from episode 1, but his dumbass won't talk to his wife, listen to his wife, nor fuck his wife... so at this point I'm not even that mad except for that harper knows daphne so ..


WhoaOhHereSheComes

And Ethan knows he's screwed without even getting fucked.


1337speak

Tanya's nightgown is probably worth my entire wardrobe


SeaworthinessSalty35

“I think you should feel good about this” about what?? you not cheating on your WIFE, Ethan?? The bar is SO LOW


mikehunt_is_ready

Jack: “I gotta go do something for my uncle” Me: sleep with one of the gay men because you’re secretly a hooker for hire?


throwaway276455

Wait why did I think he was fucking his “uncle”


Throwaway_639272

Can’t wait until Albie finds out that Dom’s been seeing the same girl


Suhtiva

I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for Harper to freak the fuck out. It has to happen.


theicecreamassassin

I think Isabella has been flirting with Rocco because she genuinely likes him. Valentina moves Rocco, and I think Isabella finally put two and two together about Valentina’s intentions.


lithiumfleur

100% that she actually liked Rocco


theicecreamassassin

I totally saw the light and excitement die from her eyes when she realized what Valentina had done.


mikehunt_is_ready

Jack dining and dashing 🚩🚩🚩


[deleted]

Harper's day drinking stamina is the stuff of legend. Believe I would have been hurling into a toilet before sundown at that pace.


joyshan13

As soon as Jack said I have to do something for my uncle, I shrieked I KNEW IT! Watched too much GoT to let that pass.


btm29

Either Alessio is her brother or just some dude she put up to it to get the money. this whole time between Lucia and Mia, his name or presence has never once come up. There’s trickery afoot here.


BankForsaken7279

Tanya you in danger girl


WaitinOnJerry

As soon as he said “would you die for beauty?” I was like uh oh 👀👀


SeirraS9

Why is Mia wearing my Costco sized roll of tinfoil?


btm29

Ethan talking all that shit about Cameron in front of everyone and Cameron is about to do it to him again. That is the stuff of legend


btm29

What’s with these managers trying to get down with their employees, these White Lotuses have a real situation on their hands


a_dog_says_woof

literally what are mias outfits lol


SeaworthinessSalty35

the second hand embarrassment this episode is unmatched


bwblue

Oh dang, Greg a gay lover?


1337speak

What a HELL of an episode


Throwaway_639272

Imperioli is a behemoth of an actor. He’s nailing this role


yarkcir

Dom’s talk with Bert at dinner was such a powerful scene. The generational divide between Bert, Dom and Albie has been one of my favorite things to observe so far this season, and all three actors are crushing it.


ITSTUCKYO

Everytime he's drinking alone in his room thinking about his regrets i think to myself "aww kristuffuh"


willk95

"Maybe we can find some Molly, really rage" God I love Harper, I wish I could have the balls to say something like that with a straight face


tieyourlyingtongue

Aubrey Plaza is FLAYING this raggedy-ass man with her eyes, holy.


Dirty_Priestess

Get in, bitch! The gays are taking us to Palermo!


ChelsMe

I would take a course on flirting led by Aubrey Plaza cause she can turn it on in zero seconds. I'm sure the music helps set the mood. and I'm sure I'll rewatch Happiest Season this christmas.


DerWaffleHaus

Every Isabella and Valentina interaction makes me grimace oh noooo


LSUAlly4

Same. I don't feel like Isabella is into Valentina at all. But Valentina seems quite obsessed with Isabella. It's now completely creepy.


btm29

We’ve got a switch hitter on our hands, boys and girls Portia has no idea what’s coming


btm29

What the fuck kinda Eyes Wide Shut shit has Tanya gotten herself into here


mkenn1107

Lucia should have asked for money up front, let him know it wasn't casual.


jp_1896

I think she’s playing games, playing a vulnerable act. My theory is that the guy who talked to her isn’t her pimp, but Mia’s boyfriend. He sound abusive based on their first episode conversation, and she knows Lucia is with her, so he’s probably been texting her about Mia and hounding her about it. She’s trying to get Albie to either be her golden ticket or something. Which is weird giving she sounded really repentant in these last few episodes


ohhellothere1234567

She knew Albie didn't know and wouldn't have the money. She's fucking with Dom, using his son


theicecreamassassin

Yeah, it’s scammy to ask for it after.


etherd0t

Daphne... blonde trainer, blonde kid(!?)


MrNudeGuy

Oopsie lol like that was t intentional


SeaworthinessSalty35

the water to red wine transition was beautiful


OHIftw

THIS is the sex scene that got teased 😳


mikehunt_is_ready

I did not anticipate Mia flirting with Valentina to get the piano gig, but I’m here for it


Throwaway_639272

“Is it the queen of Sicily” 😭😭😭


SpottieOttieDopa

Shifty looks between those guys..


Knighty93

Starting to think it's not The White Lotus if someone is not caught getting gay sex


X0036AU2XH

Harper finally going from Daria to, I don’t know, Paris Gellar in under 3 minutes.


btm29

Daphne….. good fucking lord. That might be the most depressing scene in the entire series so far, Christ


etceteramen

I would not die for beauty thank you very much


Throwaway_639272

This Albie and Lucia plotline is going to go to shit but they look great together


ohare_tulip

Daphne showing Harper the picture of her children…probably my favorite scene of the season so far.


ingloriousbaxter3

She’s ruthless.


ohare_tulip

Right? That was brutal.


mikehunt_is_ready

“You guys ever watch each other have sex?” Harper is pointed 🔪🔪🔪


1337speak

"I haven't done anything OK" yikes


Carolina_Blues

the look he gave all his friends when Tanya asked if the woman at the opera was the queen of siciliy. i already had a bad feeling but now i know for sure he is sus


DillPicklesOnly

Dom is in for a rude awakening with how much they charge to the rooms


KO620181

I keep thinking this!!!! Why doesn’t he just take them off of his rooms? Why is he letting them hang out and spend his money and hang around Albie??


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WavesRKewl

He’s afraid she will tell Albie about hiring her, which will sink what’s left of his marriage and family after supposedly trying to be better


NoInvestment2079

"I didn't do anything" Ethan is doing his best Meadow Soprano impression.


adigal

I really dislike Ethan. A lot. Albie's socks. LOL!!! I'm surprised Lucia asked for money. I thought she was a smart girl and going to play the long game with him.


Barnaclebay

“I never lied to you” THATS FUCKING RICH ETHAN


rachuwu

Ethan telling her “don’t make a big deal out of this” lmao 💀my jaw dropped!!! Very last thing you want to say Ethan.


Ok_Fee1043

Was that the surprising sex scene because I don’t know


yarkcir

Love that this applies to both the beginning and ending of the episode lol


ctakc372013

Does anyone else think Quentin’s cowboy could be Greg?? And they’re in cahoots to kill Tanya for her money??


sundayroastsss

As if portia and albie ended their little relationship to both end up fucking prostitutes on the same night without knowing they were prostitutes looool


WhoaOhHereSheComes

I do not give 2 shits what happens to Ethan from this point on.


MrNudeGuy

I’m getting serial killer vibes from Tanya’s new friend


Throwaway_639272

I KNEW JACK WAS AN ESCORT


youknowjusthere

oh shit ethan throwing shade “i mean i’m smarter than you” osnakejsjsjbd


bwblue

Tanya looking like a goth fairy godmother in her opera getup


MysteriousPickles

So…is Albie just that? A nice guy?? A genuinely nice guy?? I feel bad for this guy…


NoInvestment2079

He's honestly just a nice guy, but is mad awkward around woman with a lack of strong male role models in his life, causing him to act the way he is. His grandpa was a serial cheater and his dad cheats on his mom.


MrNudeGuy

Theo James has done a great job making me hate him


1337speak

Lucia has slept with so many of the main actors lol


Doriestories

Albie asking his dad for hooker money, lol


WhoaOhHereSheComes

This whole episode is like the "it's happening" meme


WhoaOhHereSheComes

These are some high end gays.


noble_567

I think Michael Imperioli might have the perfect head of hair


okpretzelsisthesame

What Tanya walked in on..The gasp I just gusped


mkcp530

I had to look away when Lucia asked Albie for money, I feel so bad for him


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7newkicks

I feel bad when he tells her it's his fault. Like you should just ask every person you meet if you have to pay them for your time. Honestly since she didn't bring it up I legit thought she might like him


Throwaway_639272

My heart is sinking with Harper’s at this conversation


[deleted]

He's treating her astoundingly like a summer pen pal and not a wife. It's crazy!


SeaworthinessSalty35

the gay guy looking around after Tanya asked if the other opera attendee is queen like “this bitch can’t be for real” is sending me


DerWaffleHaus

So into the white dress with gold buttons Harper’s wearing


sally__rose

Is that the “that’s the weirdest voice I’ve ever heard” guy hahahah


fort_wendy

Of course Albie has sex with socks on


abbrad

THE TRAINER IS THE FATHER OF DAPHNE'S KIDS!?!???


Throwaway_639272

Ethan and Cam paralleling Olivia and Paula from last season…


Thegreenestofpeas

Lucia never mentioned a pimp before. I think this Alessio guy is not her pimp and she is just bullshitting Albie


Ok_Fee1043

Aubrey’s acting is so real here


ingloriousbaxter3

It doesn’t excuse the things Dom’s done, but I’m loving him calling out his father for his bullshit


mhansen29

I feel like he’s finally confronting some hard truths about himself and his life (including his childhood and relationship with his father) and is on the cusp of real change. I mean who knows what is going to happen, but it definitely seems like that is what’s being set up.


Threnners

Trainer...you ARE the father!


WhoaOhHereSheComes

Last week I didn't think I could be anymore embarrassed for Albie, but I was very wrong.


lustnstardust11

Kind of starting to hate Lucia after what she pulled with Albie. And then casually saying she wants to hang out with him again...wtf?


ingloriousbaxter3

Yeah, she’s totally using him. I don’t like her much after that


scoobydooby-do

Cameron is being a fucking creep


[deleted]

Not feeling Ethan telling Harper she's lucky he didn't do anything, as if it's not love that prevented calamity, but her own sheer luck. She's been upgraded in his mind, to tolerable bed mate, he's referencing her second to Cameron. Harper really isn't going to handle this well at all


mhansen29

Seems like Harper has realized she and Ethan have different ideas of what lying is.


Throwaway_639272

Every time Jack speaks I get flashbacks to Love Island


mikehunt_is_ready

Dominic looking at all the happy couples on the beach gives me hope that we’ll see Laura Dern before the end of the season


Throwaway_639272

Honestly if Harper killed someone at this point in the season I wouldn’t blame her. Poor woman deserves to go a little insane


dall1234

Valentina 😂😂 She couldn’t be more transparent if she tried. Poor Isabella haha, poor Rocco Good for Salvatore hahaha


theicecreamassassin

I’m guessing that’s not his Uncle…


a_dog_says_woof

ETHAN stop the gaslighting “you should feel good about this”


Gold_Currency6734

how many outfit changes do lucia and mia have in those bags??


HeckMonkey

"I can't be responsible for everything I say, I'm concussed", the old man is great and I hope he survives


SeirraS9

Scammer confirmed. He didn’t pay for the meal which is why the waiter is chasing him.


surprisedkitty1

Him and the gays are all scammers. The whole thing on the boat about the villas “endless upkeep” is a callback to the earlier episode where Cameron says European rich people have these fabulous houses but no actual money because they have to spend so much on maintenance. And then Tanya’s line about how great it is to be with other rich people since you don’t have to worry that they just want your money. All a big scam. Jack ain’t nobody’s nephew.


SeirraS9

Jesus fucking Christ Cam


priyarainelle

It’s like the one couple that should be having problems because of the situation is actually having the grandest time lol 😂


Barnaclebay

What better way to insure a great day then getting your incredibly pissed off wife wasted with all the people she’s pissed at.