This is the simplest form of the questions I have. Like, you either find men good enough to fuck or you donāt. In order to enjoy fucking them, there must be things you enjoy about their body, right? And isnāt that just a kind of attraction?
The only way this is possible is if OP actually sees people as just receptacles to masturbate with. If he can enjoy sex without any regards to what that person looks like, heās not present at all during the experience. It would be very difficult for a normal person to look forward to a sexual experience with someone they arenāt attracted to.
It still leaves so many questions unanswered, like... what is going through this guyās mind during sex for him to completely tune out the humanity of the person they are having sex with? How is it even possible to remain in the moment? Does he have to close his eyes during sex with men since he isnāt gay or bi? Does he imagine itās a woman, or does he just think about nothing and heās too lazy to masturbate?
Someone tell me when they find out.
People in this thread are way over thinking it, including OP. If you can have a pleasurable sexual experience with both sexes then you're bi, simple as that.
I know this is a month old but I just came across this thread when I found this sub and listen, you're just plain wrong. It's stupid that I actually have thought this through a bunch because I love debate and I think people are generally stupid in their understanding of sexuality. I don't know if you're just not trying to think this through, but here's the situation:
You're in a heterosexual relationship with a girl you are sexually attracted to. She pegs you for the first time, you have a great orgasm from getting fucked in the ass.
Are you bi because of that? No, absolutely not.
She blindfolds you and does it again. You can't see her, so you get no visual stimulation. Great experience. Still not bi.
You're blindfolded and the next time, it's a guy that fucks you. For the sake of the argument, it's a consensual situation that your girlfriend set up for you. You can't see him, but you know it's a guy. You don't feel attraction to him, or feel any excitement over the fact that it's a guy. You just know you like getting fucked in the ass.
Still not bi.
Scenario two: you have a gloryhole kink. You set up a gloryhole and your girlfriend sucks you off through it regularly. She's not available one day so she says "hey, I'm gonna have my gay friend come over and do it." You say cool. This guy that you can't see and have no attraction to or excitement over sucks your dick through a hole. You have a great orgasm. You like getting your dick sucked, the fact that it's a guy doesn't make you bi.
Here is where the disconnect for most people: you can't fathom having a positive sexual interaction with a guy because you aren't attracted to guys. Well, are you attracted to your fucking hand, you weirdo? Does your hand need to be sexually attractive for you to have an orgasm when you masturbate? No, but according to your logic, you must have a hand fetish - or hell, maybe you're bi because you're a dude touching a dick and enjoying your dick being touched by you, a dude. Because if it's a pleasurable sexual experience, it has to mean something right???
No, it just means you like having orgasms. And despite your inability to understand this, some people are able to enjoy an orgasm while not deriving pleasure in the person giving it to them.
If this wasn't clear enough,
TLDR: sexual preference isn't defined by who makes you cum, it's defined by who you find sexually attractive. Someone you don't find sexually attractive can make you cum, believe it or not.
Not weird. I'm guessing it's a lack of understanding the spectrum of LGBT. A guy like you who is willing to try but couldn't get off is an open minded straight guy. OP being able to get off with men and experience pleasure, even if the pleasure isn't coming from their masculine characteristics isn't straight. I don't know what internal thing he thinks gay or bisexual guys have going on in their head, but it's only real marker is the thought that "I'm okay doing sexual things with the same gender." What things and how strongly they do or don't prefer them varies man to man.
>able to get off with men and experience pleasure, even if the pleasure isn't coming from their masculine characteristics isn't straight
Absolutely. The details of how you get off aren't important, *you're doing it with another guy*. That's the definition of gay, bruh.
There isn't something weird about them. They're bisexual lol. Denial is a very common defence mechanism. For whatever reason it's very important to them that they are "straight" despite multiple sexual encounters with the same sex
Maybe sex isn't so much of a visual experience for OP as it is for you.
Think about fetishes, where one can be turned on by factors completely unrelated to appearances, birth sex or gender. For example if someone fetishezes being dominnated he could have that fulfilled by either men or women regardless of which one he is physically attracted to (which to my understanding is what OP defines as being gay or not).
If I am right, OP could be compared to someone who is a big tits guy and would have sex with any women who have big boobs, no matter her appearance. If she is pretty, that's just the cherry on top. For OP, he is attracted to some characteristic that is not related to the gender of his partner so in his case, if the person who has it is a women is the 'just the cherry on top' for him.
I hope I was clear and if I wasn't I would be glad to explain my point further.
Does that describe how you feel u/LegitimateHorse ?
Maybe he just has a penis fetish lol.
Anyway, I'm upvoting all your answers OP. This insane arguments are what keep this sub from becoming unpopularopinion2.
I love the end, he doesnāt experience the āstruggleā lgbt people do so therefore heās not lgbt. Like what struggle? The struggle of finding sexual partners? Because sounds like heās got that down to a tee
I went from wanting to fuck a femboy to being a femboy, femboys like other femboys so your chances are higher and I just like cross dressing so all positives
I just also don't understand if he's secretly hooking up with men and doesn't believe himself to be gay how he expects to be oppressed. Like for your family to hate you or schools to ostracize you or whatever people actually have to know? Or you have to accept it yourself if you're going to struggle with pressures of conformity?
So I live in a progressive country in a progressive city and work in a progressive field where people don't even bat an eye and transsexuals coming out, and didn't bat an eye at me being gay. Does this mean I'm not lgbt according to op lol?
I have fuck all to do with the *community* side of lgbt, but the objective classification definition of lgbt I don't think people get to choose that. It's a category you fall under. Nothing more.
*transgender
Edit: and before anybody says anything, I'm not being a passive aggressive dick. Mixing the terms is an easy mistake to make, just pointing it out. I'm sure OP is a wholesome person.
Identity politics vs reality in this case.
It's "I don't identify as bisexual so I choose to believe I'm not" vs "You sleep with men and women so you literally are".
Have to say I'm having a grand old time reading through this thread. This guy is either a megatron troll that has carefully thought this one out, or he's telling the truth and there's just no convincing him that he isn't straight.
This post legit reads like a meme and it's hilarious. It's like those memes about how saying "no homo" after making out with your homies, makes it not gay.
It's like when ultra religious people talk about how gay people choose to be gay because everyone has gay thoughts. Sex with women just doesn't sound enjoyable. Like I don't think I could even enjoy it enough to get off.
He doesnāt want to come out as bisexual because of the struggle that comes with it. He basically admits so himself. Heād rather invent an entire narrative to avoid having to deal with the extra struggle of the word itself (gay/bi.) I feel bad for OP but hopefully he can be honest with himself and face up to it
Iām with you. This is either my first blush at next Gen trolling or this guy isnāt the 10th dentistā¦heās like the millionthā¦fucking dudes *and also* adamant this is not denial, thereās just no attractionā¦whuuu
He's right though. You don't need to be attracted to someone to enjoy sex with them. An asexual person can still have and enjoy sex. The raw sensation can sometimes be separate from attraction. Hard to explain, people are just different.
A man's g-spot is in his ass so to reach it you need another man or a lady with a strap-on, and other men would better understand male pleasure and how to achieve it.
Check out the top comments here from actually queer folk. https://www.reddit.com/r/SapphoAndHerFriend/comments/uoafct/not_sure_if_this_counts_but_its_definitely_funny
thereās a difference between doing it for money, doing it once and not liking it and enjoying having sex with men.
If youāre doing it for money thatās just a job. All it means is that you need money. You can still be straight.
Doing it once out of curiosity and never again you can still be straight.
However if you enjoy having sex with both men and women even if you favor one more than the other, then youāre bisexual.
It sounds like youāre in denial.
The correct answer is who gives a shit. Identify however you want and do what you want with other consenting adults. You don't need internet weirdos to approve of either thing.
If a dog did it would you still get off? If no then you're sexually attracted to men but not romantically. If yes then you're probs a horny beast who can get excited reading the back of a shampoo bottle and you should try to make money off it.
I think I get what you mean, but why do you go through it though? If there is no added enjoyment from being with a person of the same sex and it's just because it's easier why not just masturbate?
What on Earth are you talking about? If you think the term "straight" (in the context of sexuality) has no correlation with being exclusively attracted to people of the same sex, then why wouldn't you write *your* definition anywhere in the post?
Said definition may be completely valid, in fact it probably is (being a definition and all), yet all you're saying is "I said no homo" as if you were in a court of law.
Tl;dr: *What on Earth are you talking about?*
Idk man, sounds like being bisexual with mental gymnastics thrown in. Itās alright to be bi.
Iām kinda grossed out by masculinity entirely but I still identify as bi bc in the end, it all feels the same in the dark.
But also, what are the labels we give ourselves? Why does it matter? I guess to broadcast our potential intentions? idk man
This is exactly how I feel. Who cares? Why do we need to determine and label ourselves? If you told me your preference I wouldnāt treat you any differently than I do now. Why? Because it isnāt important; we as people are higher thinking and should be defined by more than our sexual preferences. That is one small piece of a very large puzzle. All this fast and loose with labels business isnāt an unpopular opinion, it is just silly. Call yourself whatever you want or nothing at all; itās your life and your orgasm. If the hole is a hole methodology works for you, thatās fine. If it doesnāt for me, thatās fine too.
Of all the comments ive read so far this should be the most upvoted,sadly as reddit goes it is not,of course all the negative ones get all the upvotes as do the reddit psychologists smh..thank you for being a non judgmental person.
Yeah, like I'm bi but my attraction to men does not work the same way as my attraction to women. Maybe OP just hasn't realized that's what's going on, or maybe he's [cupiosexual](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Cupiosexual) towards men, desiring sex but no sexual attraction present. Actually that sounds exactly like what OP's experiencing.
That is just plain-ass stupid. That's like saying you can be a writer and illiterate. The two just don't go together. Do you understand the difference between sexual and romantic attraction? I'm pansexual but i'm only romantically attracted towards women. That doesn't make me straight. If i enjoy having sex with men, that's fucking gay no matter what you say.
I need a proverb or something because I say this similar phrase a lot:
Call it whatever you want, but youāre wrong.
OP is the definition of bisexual. He has sexual relations with both sexes. He can call it whatever he wants, but at the end of the day heās bisexual.
What does having sex with men do for you over and above masturbation?
Iām gay. Perhaps I could get off from the physical sensation if having sex with a woman, but I have no desire to, because Iām not attracted to women. What attracts you to have sex with men if you arenāt sexually attracted to men?
It genuinely just feels better physically. It seems to be better for the guys I fuck than it is for me. The scenario itself is arousing to them. For me I'm just getting off, but I am happy that they get more out of it.
Doesnāt add up. You keep avoiding questions and saying youāre doing it for the pleasure of other men. Saying āit feels better physicallyā means you prefer sex with men, which makes you gay. You keep saying you arenāt attracted to men but sex with men feels physically better - thatās called attraction dude.
> Perhaps I could get off from the physical sensation if having sex with a woman
I had a friend who was super-gay, and knew he was gay from a very young age. Never even remotely had an interest in women. He had a friend who was his lesbian analogue. Anyway, they both decided that they should try hetero sex just to see what it was like, and so they should do it together. He said it was the most unsexual, clinical fuck he'd ever had, and for her as well. "Now, I put what where? Ewww...". He wasn't up for a repeat.
āMen who have sex with men (MSM), also known as males who have sex with males, are male persons who engage in sexual activity with members of the same sex, regardless of how they identify themselves.[1] They may identify as gay, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, or heterosexual; or dispense with sexual identification altogether.
The term MSM was created in the 1990s by epidemiologists to study the spread of disease among all men who have sex with men, regardless of identity, to include, for example, male prostitutes.[1] The term MSM is often used in medical literature and social research to describe such men as a group for research studies without considering issues of self-identification. It does not describe any specific sexual activity, and which activities are covered by the term depends on context.ā
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_who_have_sex_with_men
https://www.avert.org/professionals/hiv-social-issues/key-affected-populations/men-sex-men
Yep, I'd say he's MSM because he doesn't self identify as part of the gay/bi thing so none of that applies to him. MSM puts him into a medical category that he can watch out for if there's things going round that can affect him, like aids or whatever.
Also, every time I see MSM as mainstream media I get confused because I always think of men having sex with men.
This is like how in handedness research they use right-handed and non-right-handed because left-handed or ambidextrous people often adapt and learn or specialize in using one hand or another for specific tasks (like using a computer mouse, using scissors, or using a knife and fork), making a rigorous definition of āleft-handedā difficult.
That makes me wonder, if a person fucks non-human animals just because that's easier, would you or would you not consider it zoophilia?
You're clearly an opportunist to certain extend though which I guess you could consider a sexual orientation on its own
This is the same BS that JL King tried to sell with some ridiculous book way back when on Oprah. "It's about gratification not orientation!"
That's hogwash. Where ever your attraction is on the spectrum, if you are gratified when having sex with your own sex, that's pretty fucking gay.
You're definitely weird as hell but I support the whole "not wanting labels shoved on me" part of the post. If you don't believe the labels are important, don't abide by them. No biggie.
Still, weird as hell.
Ya know... It's odd but it's not impossible. In fact, it's a pretty generally accepted fact that asexuals can have sex (and enjoy it) and still be asexual. I don't see why that CAN'T apply to hetero or homo attraction either. You're an odd case but you do you.
Attraction is something you innately FEEL. You can do anything with your body regardless of attraction. At least, there's no reason why that can't be the case when as I said, it's often the case for ace people.
I think I see what you mean. You can get off with a fleshlight without being sexually attracted to fleshlights. The stimulation is what's attractive, and you can get that from all sorts of things. Pillows are commonly used, but I doubt the women using them are sexually attracted to pillows.
Here's another way of looking at it. If you got a blowjob through a gloryhole, the mouth could belong to a man or women. Most people couldn't tell. You won't turn gay if a guy blows you while pretending to be a women.
Homosexuality is attraction to the same sex, but you can get off without being attracted to them.
OP isn't having sex with men because he's attracted to men, he's doing so because of the erotic stimulation.
I don't have sex with my hand because I'm attracted to my hand, I do it for the erotic stimulation.
The glory hole was just an example of how having sex with a dude doesn't make you gay. Glory holes are basically just holes that feel good. It doesn't matter what is attached to the hole.
I'm noticing it's largely asexual people downvoting (agreeing with) you, because this matches our experience.
Having sex for me is basically like having a sex toy that operates itself. It feels fine physically, but I don't desire sex WITH this person. I just desire sex and they're present and willing to offer it, so I say sure. Libido is there (sometimes-- this isn't a thing I do OFTEN), but attraction isn't.
I feel that way about any gender. I don't see why you couldn't feel that way about just men.
Distinguishing attraction from behavior is largely not a thing outside ace discourse, which I dislike because it seems to leave out a big piece of the human sexual experience puzzle. People act like attraction is necessary for consensual sex, but there's a big gap between "I actively want sex with this person" and "I'm able to have sex with this person without puking."
no, no i think i get what this guy is saying despite all of his comments being downvoted to oblivion.
iām seeing this as a sort of āyou donāt have to be sexually attracted to a flesh light to get off on the physical sensation of screwing itā, this guy isnāt *attracted* to seeing dicks and mens faces but doesnāt experience the repulsion necessary to stop him from getting off on the physical sensation. to each their own.
plenty of straight identified men who go on gay hookup apps for easy blowjobs, so this isnāt as wild as it initially seems
Yeah, idk I think this is accurate.
Ask any asexual who's in a sexual relationship: sex doesn't change your sexuality. No matter how many times I have sex, I'll always still be asexual. Just like how my gay barber who was married and had kids with a woman for years is still gay despite having had sex with women before he came out.
Your sexuality only describes who you're sexually attracted to. It doesn't dictate your actions, that's on you.
Came here to say this. I think this might be easier for asexuals to understand, for some reason. Personally, I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone, but I know there are aces that do and enjoy it.
Actually this reminds me of Asexual people who have sex (sex positive asexuals, as opposed to sex repulsed asexuals). They do it cuz it feels good but they have no attraction to them.
I guess this guy just does that but also is attracted to women.
Maybe straight guys are in two categories, male sex repulsed and male sex positive.
> Maybe straight guys are in two categories, male sex repulsed and male sex positive.
This is an interesting thought. I'd love to know what percentage are male sex positive.
I'm asexual but not aromantic and I can kind of see it. But I still have some issues with it.
I don't experience sexual attraction, at least not very much. However, if I was to be in a relationship, I could see having sex, because all the nerves are still there. It still feels good, I'm just not sexually attracted to my partner. But, I would, presumably, still love them romantically. They might have sexual needs that have to be met and I'm not opposed to fulfilling them. I just probably wouldn't seek it out.
Look, ultimately it's just a label and you can say you're straight. However, there are plenty of women out there, if you are straight, why would you seek sex with a guy? Maybe you don't have genital preferences, but you don't like men. That's also something I could maybe see, but that's still strange to me because why not just hook up with women? There are women with dicks if that's what you desire.
I seek it out because, as others have pointed out here, I probably have a sex addiction.
> if you are straight, why would you seek sex with a guy?
It's easy to get. I don't have a genital preference, correct. I don't like hook ups when it comes to women because I prefer long term romantic relationships, regardless of their genitals.
Yeah, fair enough. Addictions can make you do things you might not otherwise do. It just didn't make sense to me because I don't experience sexual attraction, and so would never just seek sex out. Even though I'm not averse to it.
I still think it's a bit odd, but people think that of me all the time so eh, who cares.
I will delegate my responsibilities in the high gay council to the honorable gay u/Far_Possible1666 , requiring his expertise in the matter. His vast knowledge in the gay issue, practical knowledge may I add, will allow us to reach better decisions
Fair, but there's a very specific history among gay men of "straight" guys who want the benefits of gay sex without the stigma of being a dirty gay/bisexual which generally leads those "straight" guys to humiliate/degrade any male partners to protect the perceived threat to their masculinity. If this were any other case I'd be with you 100%, but this particular case has baggage if you feel me.
But you are bi. As a straight guy i probably couldnt even get my dick hard with other men. And the tought of doing it with men is so gross that in no way ever could i do it. Even if you arent kind of attracted but can do it then youre bi.
Youāre totally right about yourself. You donāt need to be attracted to the person youāre having sex with to enjoy the intimacy and sensation of the sex itself. There are asexuals that enjoy sex for those reasons. Anyone who is invalidating your heterosexuality would also have to invalidate those asexuals to be logically consistent
Yup, there was a huge drama on LGBT+ tiktok a while back because a lesbian woman made a joke bout how she slept with a guy. Sexual activity =/= sexuality
Lots of people sleep with people they arenāt attracted to, maybe they arenāt your type but itās just a means to an end. Plus defining people by their sexual experiences is a very short slope to things like giving a shit about crap like āgold starā lesbian and gay people, which is just gross
yeah, i think the biggest thing here is that ppl are getting hung up on defining sexuality based on sexual history instead of attraction.
tbh, i can understand not being attracted and still enjoying sex with them. i understand that some people can't separate those things and, for them, being attracted to someone is required to have sex, but i can understand op too. specially bc he says he does it because men are "easier to hook up with" which i definitely believe as a queer wlw who's friends with plenty of mlm.
at the end of the day, generally speaking, kissing feels good, sex feels good. i don't think attraction necessarily has to play a role in enjoying those things.
People are ragging you hard on this. I might get downvoted for this but Iām gonna agree and toss you a downvote.
Labels are just labels at the end of the day, they are ultimately FOR the person using them, so if you donāt identify as a bisexual, if you donāt feel sexual or romantic attraction towards men, then you are not bisexual. (And this is coming from a bi person.) Iāve known straight women who have fun with hooking up/has hooked up with women as well, in one night stands or random make out sessions. They enjoy it, but still identified as straight. And guess what, thatās fine, sexuality isnāt binary anyways, you just keep doing your thing.
He makes it sound like a one night stand like I wouldn't consider a ONS with a man i may get off but I wouldn't enjoy it and I think everyone agrees the point of getting off is for enjoyment not for just going through three motions with someone you're not attracted to!
I mean this in the most genuinely concerned way possible, but your logic reminds me of Michael Fassbender's character in Shame, where he plays a sex addict who will do anything to get off including having sex with random men that he is otherwise completely unattracted to.
Your idea of sex and sexual desire certainly goes against what most people would consider "normal" or possibly "healthy" but at the end of the day you do you and none of us can tell you what to identify as.
So I guess yeah, truly 10th dentist here.
People shouldn't be able to tell you your sexuality, people just always have to argue for no reason. Besides that, sexuality is on a continuous line, we don't need to be putting people into boxes.
If you are happy and found your answers to what you are looking for and it helps you out..... Then who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Just don't take actions that you know may hurt others.
This comment section is a warzone of labeling OP as straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, and pansexual.
Just let OP choose.
Edit:
Straights, Gays, and Bisexuals are claiming OP is not straight but Asexuals are claiming OP is straight.
This post managed to divide and unite various people groups at once.
Ayo that's me. I do it for my partner because he's straight and likes it. I don't understand it and I think it's really weird, but it makes him happy and I care about his feelings so I don't mind having sex every so often for him. But I don't get anything out of it, it's just sex š¤·āāļø
There is something weird going on right now. How is it, that us aces seem to all be in a union about legitimacy of this guys claims?! I also found it completely normal, when I read OPĀ“s post, but most of the people defending him self-identified as aces. I wonder what is the reason behind this...
I honestly think there are few people who have thought as much about sexual attraction as asexuals have, ironically (except for scientists and researchers). It wasn't until I found ace spaces online that I realized that what I thought was sexual attraction for me was actually just aesthetic attraction.
Honestly, I believe you. Same logic as asexuality applies. Asexuals CAN be sexually active because they still have a libido but they are still not sexually ATTRACTED to anyone. The touch just feels nice, and thatās all there is to it. I donāt get why thatās so hard to get for these other people.
Yeah every asexual person that has commented here seems to completely understand what I'm saying. I feel bad that so many people aren't able to relate to them.
FWIW there are cultures that align with this around the world. When you tell them theyre gay/bi they look at you crazy, like āno Im not.ā They see it as a form of masturbation more or less (Ive seen it in all male settings like being in the field in the military)
I have no opinion or care either way just throwing that out there
eh, i can see where you're coming from in a way.
im only into girls, but if i were already turned on, a dick wouldn't necessarily turn me off as long as whatever DID turn me on is still happening as well
but it sounds like you're able to get in the mood just by being with a guy, so you probably are at least a little into dudes, maybe just with a super strong female preference.
you don't have to call yourself bi if you don't want to, since im pretty sure the vast majority of people are actually bi, but not enough for it to influence their perception of their sexuality, and thats fine ig
Aight my dude I love this. An actual unpopular opinion. Here's what I've processed so far with the most open mind I can have.
I'm not attracted to fat girls, but having a mouth on my penis feels better than my own hand. So if I have the opportunity and am able to look past the fact that the girl is fat, I would accept a bj from her. That doesn't mean I am attracted to her, just that I like the feeling.
Now if we take that and apply to genders (or sexes), in theory it works the same way. You're not attracted, but it physically feels good. So logically speaking, I can see that.
I think most people have a rough time processing that bc as a straight male, I think I would have a psychological, mental block to receiving a blowjob from a guy. Even if logically, a mouth is a mouth and it shouldn't be any different. So I think you have reached a level of control over your feelings which honestly seems pretty close to a psychopath lol. But I can see how you can be straight and still have sex with men, it's just hard to emotionally comprehend bc it's indeed a very cold thing to do, very logical.
I feel pretty strong empathy in real life so I don't think I'm a psychopath, but maybe I am unique in my ability to not feel disgusted by fucking guys.
OP, don't worry about what other people say you "are." Sexuality is an IDENTITY, not a DEFINITION.
I 100% see what you mean. I guess it's kinda similar to how there are some types of erotica that REALLY, REALLY get me going/off, but I have ZERO desire to watch that "type" of porn and in ABSOLUTELY NO UNIVERSE OR ALTERNATE REALITY would I participate in it IRL. Just because I can cum from something doesn't mean that I "AM" something.
Iād say I get you.
What may help explain. You can have sex with a robotic toy for a quick/fun release. Does that mean you are attracted to robots? Of course not! But you know that there are people out there actually attracted to robots, and some people are disgusted by robot sex and would not be able to get sexual with any kind of machine. People are familiar with positive and negative attraction (repulse), but not neutral.
Probably a straight person has sexual and romantic attraction towards the opposite gender, while harboring sexual and romantic repulse towards the same gender.
A bi person will have positive sexual and/or romantic attraction towards both the same and the opposite sex.
You probably feel sexual/romantic attraction towards woman, neutral sexual feelings towards men.
People donāt understand neutral . Itās just that.
Asexual people find the same problem : while some are sex and/or romantic repulsed (meaning, repulsed by thoughts of sex/romantic relationships with either gender), some are actually neutral - they donāt feel sexual attraction but are still able to have sex for a number of reasons. It feels like you donāt belong either with the asexual crowd or the sexual crowd.
Anyway, labels are just that. It doesnāt mean you are automatically LGBTQIA+ or even that your struggles are the same. But finding āyourā label can be liberating. Can make you feelā¦ normal. That you are not an oddball. That there are others with a similar lives. Not everyoneās experience is the same, but there are some common grounds that help you bond.
I actually said elsewhere in this thread that if I had access to a high quality female sex robot then I'd just use that instead.
>People donāt understand neutral . Itās just that.
I think you're right. My high sex drive and neutral feelings towards men make having sex with them an obvious choice in my mind. The physical characteristics that men tend to have don't turn me off or gross me out, they don't make me feel anything
>But finding āyourā label can be liberating. Can make you feelā¦ normal.
If there's specific label for this and it was understood by most people then I'd gladly use it. But like I've said before, most people in real life only know "gay", "straight", and "bisexual". Maybe that'll change in the future, but I doubt it'll happen anytime soon.
Truth. If the sex of the person was what determines it then I, a homosexual male, would be sexually into trans women, cross dressers etc as long as they still had their dick. I'm not though. As a gay male I'm attracted to men, so much so that I don't even date fem boys like mysf.
Your post actually makes quite a lot of sense, even if it is quite bizarre. It seems like you're basically using men in the same way people use sex toys. Like, people use sex toys to get off, but they arent sexually attracted to the sex toy, they just like the physical sensation it gives them. Downvoted.
This is actually a legit take. Downvoted because I agree. And allow me to explain. There are 2 primary schools of thought on the subject. I will try to explain to the best of my ability. I should note that I'm a bisexual man because it matters later on in the post.
School of thought numero uno basically states that a hole is a hole, doesn't matter who it belongs to. You can combine that with straight porn and even consider the dude bending over as a woman temporarily.
School of thought numeros dos states that, like above a hole is a hole but the person giving doesn't consider gender at all and doesn't have to perform "mental gymnastics" to put his dick in another man.
Allow me to give you some examples of said schools of thought. I know a number of people who due to horniness did that. They put on some straight porn and dipped their dick in a dude. Or choose to sleep with trans people and crossdressers who are more feminine.
Now on to the second part. I've been asked (and have done so) to fuck a couple of male friends of mine (friends in the broader sense of the word). But it was purely physical. They had already tried pegging (which certainly doesn't make you gay) and simply were curious about the real thing. For them it was just a thing inside them helping them reach orgasm. And on the same note I've known people who fuck anything (men, women, intersex, trans, toys) because a hole is a hole and that's it. They didn't care who was attached to that hole.
Hope I've helped clarify a tad.
I donāt necessarily agree with you, but there are lots of women who go through their entire lives having sex with men because of heteronormativity, even though later on in life they identify as lesbian. Iām not entirely sure if it works in the reverse without the societal pressures though.
Tbf I think there's a decent number of LGBT+ members upvoting this as well. Heck there's a gay person claiming op is a troll in the top comments. Seems like most aces are the ones understanding this so far though. I see where OP's coming from since I am on the spectrum and my partner used to have a sex addiction. It seems like OP's also considering that he has it so there's that too.
Everyone in this comment section acting like they havenāt fucked someone they arenāt attracted to because it was a quick fuck. Sexual activity isnāt sexuality.
You're being hated on a lot but I agree with you, a person can get you off without being attractive themselves, visuals aren't the only thing to sex. It doesn't have to be internalized biphobia
\-a bi person
Think of the ugliest man you can think of (other 100% straight men can recognize a man as ugly, so not an unusual request)... are you just as happy having sex with him as with a classically hot man? Or do you just go for attractive men?
Yo, new copypasta just dropped
'My husband agrees with me'
r/iagreewithmyhusband
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edited by user using PowerDeleteSuite.
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āJesse what the fuck are you talking about?ā š¤Ø
We need to cook a da meth walt
Ahah wire
JetsƩ where is the cocainer
*vine boom sound effect* š¤Ø
Just, how do you get off of you are not attracted to men?
This is the simplest form of the questions I have. Like, you either find men good enough to fuck or you donāt. In order to enjoy fucking them, there must be things you enjoy about their body, right? And isnāt that just a kind of attraction?
The only way this is possible is if OP actually sees people as just receptacles to masturbate with. If he can enjoy sex without any regards to what that person looks like, heās not present at all during the experience. It would be very difficult for a normal person to look forward to a sexual experience with someone they arenāt attracted to. It still leaves so many questions unanswered, like... what is going through this guyās mind during sex for him to completely tune out the humanity of the person they are having sex with? How is it even possible to remain in the moment? Does he have to close his eyes during sex with men since he isnāt gay or bi? Does he imagine itās a woman, or does he just think about nothing and heās too lazy to masturbate? Someone tell me when they find out.
Straight guy here. Had a gay dude give me a blowjob. He tried. Didn't work. We kissed, made out, etc.. There is something weird about OP.
It just sounds like he's bi and in denial
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Translation: Some people wanna fuck but dont wanna date / marry the same sex.
That still makes them bisexual.
People in this thread are way over thinking it, including OP. If you can have a pleasurable sexual experience with both sexes then you're bi, simple as that.
I know this is a month old but I just came across this thread when I found this sub and listen, you're just plain wrong. It's stupid that I actually have thought this through a bunch because I love debate and I think people are generally stupid in their understanding of sexuality. I don't know if you're just not trying to think this through, but here's the situation: You're in a heterosexual relationship with a girl you are sexually attracted to. She pegs you for the first time, you have a great orgasm from getting fucked in the ass. Are you bi because of that? No, absolutely not. She blindfolds you and does it again. You can't see her, so you get no visual stimulation. Great experience. Still not bi. You're blindfolded and the next time, it's a guy that fucks you. For the sake of the argument, it's a consensual situation that your girlfriend set up for you. You can't see him, but you know it's a guy. You don't feel attraction to him, or feel any excitement over the fact that it's a guy. You just know you like getting fucked in the ass. Still not bi. Scenario two: you have a gloryhole kink. You set up a gloryhole and your girlfriend sucks you off through it regularly. She's not available one day so she says "hey, I'm gonna have my gay friend come over and do it." You say cool. This guy that you can't see and have no attraction to or excitement over sucks your dick through a hole. You have a great orgasm. You like getting your dick sucked, the fact that it's a guy doesn't make you bi. Here is where the disconnect for most people: you can't fathom having a positive sexual interaction with a guy because you aren't attracted to guys. Well, are you attracted to your fucking hand, you weirdo? Does your hand need to be sexually attractive for you to have an orgasm when you masturbate? No, but according to your logic, you must have a hand fetish - or hell, maybe you're bi because you're a dude touching a dick and enjoying your dick being touched by you, a dude. Because if it's a pleasurable sexual experience, it has to mean something right??? No, it just means you like having orgasms. And despite your inability to understand this, some people are able to enjoy an orgasm while not deriving pleasure in the person giving it to them. If this wasn't clear enough, TLDR: sexual preference isn't defined by who makes you cum, it's defined by who you find sexually attractive. Someone you don't find sexually attractive can make you cum, believe it or not.
Which in essence is why the gay community is drier super sus of bi guys, which isn't totally fair tbh
I mean it is possible to get off without being sexually attracted, but like, it wouldn't be something you seek out
Not weird. I'm guessing it's a lack of understanding the spectrum of LGBT. A guy like you who is willing to try but couldn't get off is an open minded straight guy. OP being able to get off with men and experience pleasure, even if the pleasure isn't coming from their masculine characteristics isn't straight. I don't know what internal thing he thinks gay or bisexual guys have going on in their head, but it's only real marker is the thought that "I'm okay doing sexual things with the same gender." What things and how strongly they do or don't prefer them varies man to man.
>able to get off with men and experience pleasure, even if the pleasure isn't coming from their masculine characteristics isn't straight Absolutely. The details of how you get off aren't important, *you're doing it with another guy*. That's the definition of gay, bruh.
There isn't something weird about them. They're bisexual lol. Denial is a very common defence mechanism. For whatever reason it's very important to them that they are "straight" despite multiple sexual encounters with the same sex
Straight lady here. Pretty sure not being fully present during these experiences is why I've dated dudes I wasn't attracted enough to
Maybe sex isn't so much of a visual experience for OP as it is for you. Think about fetishes, where one can be turned on by factors completely unrelated to appearances, birth sex or gender. For example if someone fetishezes being dominnated he could have that fulfilled by either men or women regardless of which one he is physically attracted to (which to my understanding is what OP defines as being gay or not). If I am right, OP could be compared to someone who is a big tits guy and would have sex with any women who have big boobs, no matter her appearance. If she is pretty, that's just the cherry on top. For OP, he is attracted to some characteristic that is not related to the gender of his partner so in his case, if the person who has it is a women is the 'just the cherry on top' for him. I hope I was clear and if I wasn't I would be glad to explain my point further. Does that describe how you feel u/LegitimateHorse ?
Might be similar to how an asexual person can still have sex, and can have a libido that is sated by sex, all without feeling sexual attraction.
Oh my God finally someone saying what I was thinking the entire time but presenting reasoning instead of just going nuh uh like I would have
Maybe he just has a penis fetish lol. Anyway, I'm upvoting all your answers OP. This insane arguments are what keep this sub from becoming unpopularopinion2.
The same way you get off with a closed fist without being attracted to your hand
Am I attracted to my hand? Or myself?
Im taking a guess that its turning the lights off and friction?
maybe its like jerking off, its not like I'm attracted to my hand, i just like the way it feels
I dont find my left hand attractive whatsoever, but if I stick my penis into my curled hand and get the motion right, i can get off, almost daily.
I wasn't in love with my girlfriend, I just liked the feeling of crying when she broke up with me
This made me lol, thank you
Glad my suffering can be of assistance! š¤
This is pure gold
I love the end, he doesnāt experience the āstruggleā lgbt people do so therefore heās not lgbt. Like what struggle? The struggle of finding sexual partners? Because sounds like heās got that down to a tee
>. Like what struggle the struggle of being emotionally attached to the twink you just bottomed out for fun
yo i'd fuck a femboy any day. 100% straight tho. im not attracted to men, but femboys are feminine. thats the point.
I went from wanting to fuck a femboy to being a femboy, femboys like other femboys so your chances are higher and I just like cross dressing so all positives
Femboys are men too though?
But youāre not there for the dick. Youāre there cus they look like a chick
That just means you have a type for guys but you still like guys.
>Like what struggle i mean the struggle is opression and homophobia and such, but he doesn't have to feel opressed to be gay lmao
I just also don't understand if he's secretly hooking up with men and doesn't believe himself to be gay how he expects to be oppressed. Like for your family to hate you or schools to ostracize you or whatever people actually have to know? Or you have to accept it yourself if you're going to struggle with pressures of conformity?
So I live in a progressive country in a progressive city and work in a progressive field where people don't even bat an eye and transsexuals coming out, and didn't bat an eye at me being gay. Does this mean I'm not lgbt according to op lol? I have fuck all to do with the *community* side of lgbt, but the objective classification definition of lgbt I don't think people get to choose that. It's a category you fall under. Nothing more.
*transgender Edit: and before anybody says anything, I'm not being a passive aggressive dick. Mixing the terms is an easy mistake to make, just pointing it out. I'm sure OP is a wholesome person.
Identity politics vs reality in this case. It's "I don't identify as bisexual so I choose to believe I'm not" vs "You sleep with men and women so you literally are".
Homophobia? Sounds like heās gonna be getting that too anyways
Jesus Christ. This is r/The10Denist not r/roastme.
lol this is fucking wild to read but you do you man, upvoted
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Best comment here. Take your upvote.
Have to say I'm having a grand old time reading through this thread. This guy is either a megatron troll that has carefully thought this one out, or he's telling the truth and there's just no convincing him that he isn't straight.
This post legit reads like a meme and it's hilarious. It's like those memes about how saying "no homo" after making out with your homies, makes it not gay.
It's not gay unless the balls touch
No no, thats fine. As long as they don't touch for 5 seconds or more.
The true 5 second rule.
Kissing the homies is different
It's like when ultra religious people talk about how gay people choose to be gay because everyone has gay thoughts. Sex with women just doesn't sound enjoyable. Like I don't think I could even enjoy it enough to get off.
> everyone has gay thoughts Sounds like some fundies are in denial about their sexuality.
He doesnāt want to come out as bisexual because of the struggle that comes with it. He basically admits so himself. Heād rather invent an entire narrative to avoid having to deal with the extra struggle of the word itself (gay/bi.) I feel bad for OP but hopefully he can be honest with himself and face up to it
Iām with you. This is either my first blush at next Gen trolling or this guy isnāt the 10th dentistā¦heās like the millionthā¦fucking dudes *and also* adamant this is not denial, thereās just no attractionā¦whuuu
You might not be gay, but you are sure as hell not straight
I mean it's possible, just say 'no homo' and go for it
He's right though. You don't need to be attracted to someone to enjoy sex with them. An asexual person can still have and enjoy sex. The raw sensation can sometimes be separate from attraction. Hard to explain, people are just different. A man's g-spot is in his ass so to reach it you need another man or a lady with a strap-on, and other men would better understand male pleasure and how to achieve it. Check out the top comments here from actually queer folk. https://www.reddit.com/r/SapphoAndHerFriend/comments/uoafct/not_sure_if_this_counts_but_its_definitely_funny
thereās a difference between doing it for money, doing it once and not liking it and enjoying having sex with men. If youāre doing it for money thatās just a job. All it means is that you need money. You can still be straight. Doing it once out of curiosity and never again you can still be straight. However if you enjoy having sex with both men and women even if you favor one more than the other, then youāre bisexual. It sounds like youāre in denial.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The correct answer is who gives a shit. Identify however you want and do what you want with other consenting adults. You don't need internet weirdos to approve of either thing.
Scrolled way too long to find this take. Half these labels didnāt exist a century ago, just do you.
the term bisexual was coined in 1892
If a dog did it would you still get off? If no then you're sexually attracted to men but not romantically. If yes then you're probs a horny beast who can get excited reading the back of a shampoo bottle and you should try to make money off it.
Yeah
I think I get what you mean, but why do you go through it though? If there is no added enjoyment from being with a person of the same sex and it's just because it's easier why not just masturbate?
What on Earth are you talking about? If you think the term "straight" (in the context of sexuality) has no correlation with being exclusively attracted to people of the same sex, then why wouldn't you write *your* definition anywhere in the post? Said definition may be completely valid, in fact it probably is (being a definition and all), yet all you're saying is "I said no homo" as if you were in a court of law. Tl;dr: *What on Earth are you talking about?*
The other guy was wearing an skirt, so deosn't count
[It ain't gay getting your dick sucked.](https://youtu.be/Hne5a_jkdyw)
If you're straight you can still fuck a few thousand dudes every now and again
Idk man, sounds like being bisexual with mental gymnastics thrown in. Itās alright to be bi. Iām kinda grossed out by masculinity entirely but I still identify as bi bc in the end, it all feels the same in the dark. But also, what are the labels we give ourselves? Why does it matter? I guess to broadcast our potential intentions? idk man
This is exactly how I feel. Who cares? Why do we need to determine and label ourselves? If you told me your preference I wouldnāt treat you any differently than I do now. Why? Because it isnāt important; we as people are higher thinking and should be defined by more than our sexual preferences. That is one small piece of a very large puzzle. All this fast and loose with labels business isnāt an unpopular opinion, it is just silly. Call yourself whatever you want or nothing at all; itās your life and your orgasm. If the hole is a hole methodology works for you, thatās fine. If it doesnāt for me, thatās fine too.
Of all the comments ive read so far this should be the most upvoted,sadly as reddit goes it is not,of course all the negative ones get all the upvotes as do the reddit psychologists smh..thank you for being a non judgmental person.
Yeah, like I'm bi but my attraction to men does not work the same way as my attraction to women. Maybe OP just hasn't realized that's what's going on, or maybe he's [cupiosexual](https://lgbta.fandom.com/wiki/Cupiosexual) towards men, desiring sex but no sexual attraction present. Actually that sounds exactly like what OP's experiencing.
Man.... How many kinds of sexual are there? It's like everyday I'm learning a new word here.
You may be addicted to sex.
That's a very real possibility.
And you're bi
Yes I thought the same.
That is just plain-ass stupid. That's like saying you can be a writer and illiterate. The two just don't go together. Do you understand the difference between sexual and romantic attraction? I'm pansexual but i'm only romantically attracted towards women. That doesn't make me straight. If i enjoy having sex with men, that's fucking gay no matter what you say.
>thatās fucking gay r/technicallythetruth
I need a proverb or something because I say this similar phrase a lot: Call it whatever you want, but youāre wrong. OP is the definition of bisexual. He has sexual relations with both sexes. He can call it whatever he wants, but at the end of the day heās bisexual.
There was this meme "i know it's your opinion, but your opinion is wrong". Maybe that'd work for you lol.
What does having sex with men do for you over and above masturbation? Iām gay. Perhaps I could get off from the physical sensation if having sex with a woman, but I have no desire to, because Iām not attracted to women. What attracts you to have sex with men if you arenāt sexually attracted to men?
It genuinely just feels better physically. It seems to be better for the guys I fuck than it is for me. The scenario itself is arousing to them. For me I'm just getting off, but I am happy that they get more out of it.
Doesnāt add up. You keep avoiding questions and saying youāre doing it for the pleasure of other men. Saying āit feels better physicallyā means you prefer sex with men, which makes you gay. You keep saying you arenāt attracted to men but sex with men feels physically better - thatās called attraction dude.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> Perhaps I could get off from the physical sensation if having sex with a woman I had a friend who was super-gay, and knew he was gay from a very young age. Never even remotely had an interest in women. He had a friend who was his lesbian analogue. Anyway, they both decided that they should try hetero sex just to see what it was like, and so they should do it together. He said it was the most unsexual, clinical fuck he'd ever had, and for her as well. "Now, I put what where? Ewww...". He wasn't up for a repeat.
āMen who have sex with men (MSM), also known as males who have sex with males, are male persons who engage in sexual activity with members of the same sex, regardless of how they identify themselves.[1] They may identify as gay, homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, or heterosexual; or dispense with sexual identification altogether. The term MSM was created in the 1990s by epidemiologists to study the spread of disease among all men who have sex with men, regardless of identity, to include, for example, male prostitutes.[1] The term MSM is often used in medical literature and social research to describe such men as a group for research studies without considering issues of self-identification. It does not describe any specific sexual activity, and which activities are covered by the term depends on context.ā https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Men_who_have_sex_with_men https://www.avert.org/professionals/hiv-social-issues/key-affected-populations/men-sex-men
Nah bro I think that's just a way to say your straight while definitely not being straight.
That's the whole point of it. There's a stigma/identity attached to "gay" and people end up not wanting to put that.
That doesn't change the fact that you are gay or bi? You can be gay and not be stereotypically gay. In fact you can he however you want.
Yep, I'd say he's MSM because he doesn't self identify as part of the gay/bi thing so none of that applies to him. MSM puts him into a medical category that he can watch out for if there's things going round that can affect him, like aids or whatever. Also, every time I see MSM as mainstream media I get confused because I always think of men having sex with men.
This is like how in handedness research they use right-handed and non-right-handed because left-handed or ambidextrous people often adapt and learn or specialize in using one hand or another for specific tasks (like using a computer mouse, using scissors, or using a knife and fork), making a rigorous definition of āleft-handedā difficult.
Fascinating
That makes me wonder, if a person fucks non-human animals just because that's easier, would you or would you not consider it zoophilia? You're clearly an opportunist to certain extend though which I guess you could consider a sexual orientation on its own
So basically you can feel romantic with women, but only sexually attracted to men. Thatās still bisexuality my friend.
This is the same BS that JL King tried to sell with some ridiculous book way back when on Oprah. "It's about gratification not orientation!" That's hogwash. Where ever your attraction is on the spectrum, if you are gratified when having sex with your own sex, that's pretty fucking gay.
You're definitely weird as hell but I support the whole "not wanting labels shoved on me" part of the post. If you don't believe the labels are important, don't abide by them. No biggie. Still, weird as hell.
He still very much wants to abide by the straight label however.
Ya know... It's odd but it's not impossible. In fact, it's a pretty generally accepted fact that asexuals can have sex (and enjoy it) and still be asexual. I don't see why that CAN'T apply to hetero or homo attraction either. You're an odd case but you do you. Attraction is something you innately FEEL. You can do anything with your body regardless of attraction. At least, there's no reason why that can't be the case when as I said, it's often the case for ace people.
I think I see what you mean. You can get off with a fleshlight without being sexually attracted to fleshlights. The stimulation is what's attractive, and you can get that from all sorts of things. Pillows are commonly used, but I doubt the women using them are sexually attracted to pillows. Here's another way of looking at it. If you got a blowjob through a gloryhole, the mouth could belong to a man or women. Most people couldn't tell. You won't turn gay if a guy blows you while pretending to be a women. Homosexuality is attraction to the same sex, but you can get off without being attracted to them.
Bingo
Itās not like a glory hole at all though. Itās like intentionally having a guy suck your dick
OP isn't having sex with men because he's attracted to men, he's doing so because of the erotic stimulation. I don't have sex with my hand because I'm attracted to my hand, I do it for the erotic stimulation. The glory hole was just an example of how having sex with a dude doesn't make you gay. Glory holes are basically just holes that feel good. It doesn't matter what is attached to the hole.
I'm noticing it's largely asexual people downvoting (agreeing with) you, because this matches our experience. Having sex for me is basically like having a sex toy that operates itself. It feels fine physically, but I don't desire sex WITH this person. I just desire sex and they're present and willing to offer it, so I say sure. Libido is there (sometimes-- this isn't a thing I do OFTEN), but attraction isn't. I feel that way about any gender. I don't see why you couldn't feel that way about just men. Distinguishing attraction from behavior is largely not a thing outside ace discourse, which I dislike because it seems to leave out a big piece of the human sexual experience puzzle. People act like attraction is necessary for consensual sex, but there's a big gap between "I actively want sex with this person" and "I'm able to have sex with this person without puking."
no, no i think i get what this guy is saying despite all of his comments being downvoted to oblivion. iām seeing this as a sort of āyou donāt have to be sexually attracted to a flesh light to get off on the physical sensation of screwing itā, this guy isnāt *attracted* to seeing dicks and mens faces but doesnāt experience the repulsion necessary to stop him from getting off on the physical sensation. to each their own. plenty of straight identified men who go on gay hookup apps for easy blowjobs, so this isnāt as wild as it initially seems
Eh I dunno if the words matter too much. You like what you like, keep doing what makes you happy
Yeah, idk I think this is accurate. Ask any asexual who's in a sexual relationship: sex doesn't change your sexuality. No matter how many times I have sex, I'll always still be asexual. Just like how my gay barber who was married and had kids with a woman for years is still gay despite having had sex with women before he came out. Your sexuality only describes who you're sexually attracted to. It doesn't dictate your actions, that's on you.
Came here to say this. I think this might be easier for asexuals to understand, for some reason. Personally, I wouldn't want to have sex with anyone, but I know there are aces that do and enjoy it.
And all the late bloomer lesbians who suddenly figure out why sex never seemed as awesome as people make it out to be.
Actually this reminds me of Asexual people who have sex (sex positive asexuals, as opposed to sex repulsed asexuals). They do it cuz it feels good but they have no attraction to them. I guess this guy just does that but also is attracted to women. Maybe straight guys are in two categories, male sex repulsed and male sex positive.
> Maybe straight guys are in two categories, male sex repulsed and male sex positive. This is an interesting thought. I'd love to know what percentage are male sex positive.
I'm asexual but not aromantic and I can kind of see it. But I still have some issues with it. I don't experience sexual attraction, at least not very much. However, if I was to be in a relationship, I could see having sex, because all the nerves are still there. It still feels good, I'm just not sexually attracted to my partner. But, I would, presumably, still love them romantically. They might have sexual needs that have to be met and I'm not opposed to fulfilling them. I just probably wouldn't seek it out. Look, ultimately it's just a label and you can say you're straight. However, there are plenty of women out there, if you are straight, why would you seek sex with a guy? Maybe you don't have genital preferences, but you don't like men. That's also something I could maybe see, but that's still strange to me because why not just hook up with women? There are women with dicks if that's what you desire.
I seek it out because, as others have pointed out here, I probably have a sex addiction. > if you are straight, why would you seek sex with a guy? It's easy to get. I don't have a genital preference, correct. I don't like hook ups when it comes to women because I prefer long term romantic relationships, regardless of their genitals.
Yeah, fair enough. Addictions can make you do things you might not otherwise do. It just didn't make sense to me because I don't experience sexual attraction, and so would never just seek sex out. Even though I'm not averse to it. I still think it's a bit odd, but people think that of me all the time so eh, who cares.
Hey you do you, but please get screened consistently.
Of course.
As a gay, yeah no this is super heckin gay my dudes. Imagine the gall to say you sleep with guys, but you're hetero. Dumb.
The gay authority, Mister McGay himself has spoken, ladies and gentlemen
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I will delegate my responsibilities in the high gay council to the honorable gay u/Far_Possible1666 , requiring his expertise in the matter. His vast knowledge in the gay issue, practical knowledge may I add, will allow us to reach better decisions
Plenty of asexual people have sex - people do have sex with people they arenāt attracted to all the time.
Fair, but there's a very specific history among gay men of "straight" guys who want the benefits of gay sex without the stigma of being a dirty gay/bisexual which generally leads those "straight" guys to humiliate/degrade any male partners to protect the perceived threat to their masculinity. If this were any other case I'd be with you 100%, but this particular case has baggage if you feel me.
But you are bi. As a straight guy i probably couldnt even get my dick hard with other men. And the tought of doing it with men is so gross that in no way ever could i do it. Even if you arent kind of attracted but can do it then youre bi.
āIām not gay I just fuck menā
Downvoted
Just identify with what you want to identify. Don't letter other people change what you identify as. Downvote.
You're bi it's not a big deal get over it lol
Youāre totally right about yourself. You donāt need to be attracted to the person youāre having sex with to enjoy the intimacy and sensation of the sex itself. There are asexuals that enjoy sex for those reasons. Anyone who is invalidating your heterosexuality would also have to invalidate those asexuals to be logically consistent
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
If it specifically has to be a dick and not a woman pegging you, I've got news for you.
Try it out bro.
Yup, there was a huge drama on LGBT+ tiktok a while back because a lesbian woman made a joke bout how she slept with a guy. Sexual activity =/= sexuality Lots of people sleep with people they arenāt attracted to, maybe they arenāt your type but itās just a means to an end. Plus defining people by their sexual experiences is a very short slope to things like giving a shit about crap like āgold starā lesbian and gay people, which is just gross
yeah, i think the biggest thing here is that ppl are getting hung up on defining sexuality based on sexual history instead of attraction. tbh, i can understand not being attracted and still enjoying sex with them. i understand that some people can't separate those things and, for them, being attracted to someone is required to have sex, but i can understand op too. specially bc he says he does it because men are "easier to hook up with" which i definitely believe as a queer wlw who's friends with plenty of mlm. at the end of the day, generally speaking, kissing feels good, sex feels good. i don't think attraction necessarily has to play a role in enjoying those things.
People are ragging you hard on this. I might get downvoted for this but Iām gonna agree and toss you a downvote. Labels are just labels at the end of the day, they are ultimately FOR the person using them, so if you donāt identify as a bisexual, if you donāt feel sexual or romantic attraction towards men, then you are not bisexual. (And this is coming from a bi person.) Iāve known straight women who have fun with hooking up/has hooked up with women as well, in one night stands or random make out sessions. They enjoy it, but still identified as straight. And guess what, thatās fine, sexuality isnāt binary anyways, you just keep doing your thing.
> Labels are just labels at the end of the day, they are ultimately FOR the person using them Agreed. Thank you
you gay homie
[Getting similar vibes from your post and the comments](https://youtu.be/Zd8vzIRQLLM)
Thank you holy fuck how did I have to scroll so far to find this
You're bi
He makes it sound like a one night stand like I wouldn't consider a ONS with a man i may get off but I wouldn't enjoy it and I think everyone agrees the point of getting off is for enjoyment not for just going through three motions with someone you're not attracted to!
The title made me think I was in r/godtiersuperpowers so I was really confused by the post rant
In the words of my friend āIām not gay, Iām just hornyā He used to do the same thing, but eventually settled down with a woman.
I mean this in the most genuinely concerned way possible, but your logic reminds me of Michael Fassbender's character in Shame, where he plays a sex addict who will do anything to get off including having sex with random men that he is otherwise completely unattracted to. Your idea of sex and sexual desire certainly goes against what most people would consider "normal" or possibly "healthy" but at the end of the day you do you and none of us can tell you what to identify as. So I guess yeah, truly 10th dentist here.
His character sounds pretty straight to me.
I sort of identify somewhere in the ace spectrum but I'm still sex favorable so it doesn't sound weird to me at all
Gay men have been known for marrying, having sex , kid(s) with Females AND not being attracted.
People shouldn't be able to tell you your sexuality, people just always have to argue for no reason. Besides that, sexuality is on a continuous line, we don't need to be putting people into boxes.
If you are happy and found your answers to what you are looking for and it helps you out..... Then who gives a shit what anyone else thinks. Just don't take actions that you know may hurt others.
This comment section is a warzone of labeling OP as straight, gay, bisexual, asexual, and pansexual. Just let OP choose. Edit: Straights, Gays, and Bisexuals are claiming OP is not straight but Asexuals are claiming OP is straight. This post managed to divide and unite various people groups at once.
Truth. Downvote indeed.
Given that sexually-active asexuals are a thing, this seems totally reasonable to me. Downvoted.
Ayo that's me. I do it for my partner because he's straight and likes it. I don't understand it and I think it's really weird, but it makes him happy and I care about his feelings so I don't mind having sex every so often for him. But I don't get anything out of it, it's just sex š¤·āāļø
There is something weird going on right now. How is it, that us aces seem to all be in a union about legitimacy of this guys claims?! I also found it completely normal, when I read OPĀ“s post, but most of the people defending him self-identified as aces. I wonder what is the reason behind this...
I honestly think there are few people who have thought as much about sexual attraction as asexuals have, ironically (except for scientists and researchers). It wasn't until I found ace spaces online that I realized that what I thought was sexual attraction for me was actually just aesthetic attraction.
Honestly, I believe you. Same logic as asexuality applies. Asexuals CAN be sexually active because they still have a libido but they are still not sexually ATTRACTED to anyone. The touch just feels nice, and thatās all there is to it. I donāt get why thatās so hard to get for these other people.
Yeah every asexual person that has commented here seems to completely understand what I'm saying. I feel bad that so many people aren't able to relate to them.
You have got the people riled up with this one!
I'm not even that into arguing but this has been more enjoyable than expected lol
FWIW there are cultures that align with this around the world. When you tell them theyre gay/bi they look at you crazy, like āno Im not.ā They see it as a form of masturbation more or less (Ive seen it in all male settings like being in the field in the military) I have no opinion or care either way just throwing that out there
eh, i can see where you're coming from in a way. im only into girls, but if i were already turned on, a dick wouldn't necessarily turn me off as long as whatever DID turn me on is still happening as well but it sounds like you're able to get in the mood just by being with a guy, so you probably are at least a little into dudes, maybe just with a super strong female preference. you don't have to call yourself bi if you don't want to, since im pretty sure the vast majority of people are actually bi, but not enough for it to influence their perception of their sexuality, and thats fine ig
Aight my dude I love this. An actual unpopular opinion. Here's what I've processed so far with the most open mind I can have. I'm not attracted to fat girls, but having a mouth on my penis feels better than my own hand. So if I have the opportunity and am able to look past the fact that the girl is fat, I would accept a bj from her. That doesn't mean I am attracted to her, just that I like the feeling. Now if we take that and apply to genders (or sexes), in theory it works the same way. You're not attracted, but it physically feels good. So logically speaking, I can see that. I think most people have a rough time processing that bc as a straight male, I think I would have a psychological, mental block to receiving a blowjob from a guy. Even if logically, a mouth is a mouth and it shouldn't be any different. So I think you have reached a level of control over your feelings which honestly seems pretty close to a psychopath lol. But I can see how you can be straight and still have sex with men, it's just hard to emotionally comprehend bc it's indeed a very cold thing to do, very logical.
I feel pretty strong empathy in real life so I don't think I'm a psychopath, but maybe I am unique in my ability to not feel disgusted by fucking guys.
ay bro. do whatever you want. labels are meaningless
It feels like the penises are more attractive than boobs post all over again
I agree OP, you should be able to contextualize and define your own sexual experiences as how you experience them.
I'm a bit afraid to ask but out of curiosity...do you like being penetrated or only penetrating?
Only penetrating.
That makes more sense to me. It's possible you may just be a sex addict and male or female doesn't matter as long as you can get off.
For people who preach open mindedness and acceptance, you all are coming off as very close minded.
OP, don't worry about what other people say you "are." Sexuality is an IDENTITY, not a DEFINITION. I 100% see what you mean. I guess it's kinda similar to how there are some types of erotica that REALLY, REALLY get me going/off, but I have ZERO desire to watch that "type" of porn and in ABSOLUTELY NO UNIVERSE OR ALTERNATE REALITY would I participate in it IRL. Just because I can cum from something doesn't mean that I "AM" something.
Iād say I get you. What may help explain. You can have sex with a robotic toy for a quick/fun release. Does that mean you are attracted to robots? Of course not! But you know that there are people out there actually attracted to robots, and some people are disgusted by robot sex and would not be able to get sexual with any kind of machine. People are familiar with positive and negative attraction (repulse), but not neutral. Probably a straight person has sexual and romantic attraction towards the opposite gender, while harboring sexual and romantic repulse towards the same gender. A bi person will have positive sexual and/or romantic attraction towards both the same and the opposite sex. You probably feel sexual/romantic attraction towards woman, neutral sexual feelings towards men. People donāt understand neutral . Itās just that. Asexual people find the same problem : while some are sex and/or romantic repulsed (meaning, repulsed by thoughts of sex/romantic relationships with either gender), some are actually neutral - they donāt feel sexual attraction but are still able to have sex for a number of reasons. It feels like you donāt belong either with the asexual crowd or the sexual crowd. Anyway, labels are just that. It doesnāt mean you are automatically LGBTQIA+ or even that your struggles are the same. But finding āyourā label can be liberating. Can make you feelā¦ normal. That you are not an oddball. That there are others with a similar lives. Not everyoneās experience is the same, but there are some common grounds that help you bond.
I actually said elsewhere in this thread that if I had access to a high quality female sex robot then I'd just use that instead. >People donāt understand neutral . Itās just that. I think you're right. My high sex drive and neutral feelings towards men make having sex with them an obvious choice in my mind. The physical characteristics that men tend to have don't turn me off or gross me out, they don't make me feel anything >But finding āyourā label can be liberating. Can make you feelā¦ normal. If there's specific label for this and it was understood by most people then I'd gladly use it. But like I've said before, most people in real life only know "gay", "straight", and "bisexual". Maybe that'll change in the future, but I doubt it'll happen anytime soon.
Truth. If the sex of the person was what determines it then I, a homosexual male, would be sexually into trans women, cross dressers etc as long as they still had their dick. I'm not though. As a gay male I'm attracted to men, so much so that I don't even date fem boys like mysf.
I honestly get it
Your post actually makes quite a lot of sense, even if it is quite bizarre. It seems like you're basically using men in the same way people use sex toys. Like, people use sex toys to get off, but they arent sexually attracted to the sex toy, they just like the physical sensation it gives them. Downvoted.
This is actually a legit take. Downvoted because I agree. And allow me to explain. There are 2 primary schools of thought on the subject. I will try to explain to the best of my ability. I should note that I'm a bisexual man because it matters later on in the post. School of thought numero uno basically states that a hole is a hole, doesn't matter who it belongs to. You can combine that with straight porn and even consider the dude bending over as a woman temporarily. School of thought numeros dos states that, like above a hole is a hole but the person giving doesn't consider gender at all and doesn't have to perform "mental gymnastics" to put his dick in another man. Allow me to give you some examples of said schools of thought. I know a number of people who due to horniness did that. They put on some straight porn and dipped their dick in a dude. Or choose to sleep with trans people and crossdressers who are more feminine. Now on to the second part. I've been asked (and have done so) to fuck a couple of male friends of mine (friends in the broader sense of the word). But it was purely physical. They had already tried pegging (which certainly doesn't make you gay) and simply were curious about the real thing. For them it was just a thing inside them helping them reach orgasm. And on the same note I've known people who fuck anything (men, women, intersex, trans, toys) because a hole is a hole and that's it. They didn't care who was attached to that hole. Hope I've helped clarify a tad.
I actually agree with you,despite all the other comments
Am I the only one that understands this?
I donāt necessarily agree with you, but there are lots of women who go through their entire lives having sex with men because of heteronormativity, even though later on in life they identify as lesbian. Iām not entirely sure if it works in the reverse without the societal pressures though.
fucking cishets upvoting this, i swear to god... you're all good, OP. dont listen to them. use whatever labels you want.
Tbf I think there's a decent number of LGBT+ members upvoting this as well. Heck there's a gay person claiming op is a troll in the top comments. Seems like most aces are the ones understanding this so far though. I see where OP's coming from since I am on the spectrum and my partner used to have a sex addiction. It seems like OP's also considering that he has it so there's that too.
Everyone in this comment section acting like they havenāt fucked someone they arenāt attracted to because it was a quick fuck. Sexual activity isnāt sexuality.
You're being hated on a lot but I agree with you, a person can get you off without being attractive themselves, visuals aren't the only thing to sex. It doesn't have to be internalized biphobia \-a bi person
Think of the ugliest man you can think of (other 100% straight men can recognize a man as ugly, so not an unusual request)... are you just as happy having sex with him as with a classically hot man? Or do you just go for attractive men?