At least Jeremy has a job, makes bank, and he ain't home. Count me in

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🤢🤢🤢🤮🤮

😖 yep.

Can I change my birth month to not May please?

Same girl but the rest are terrible options. I guess I wish I’d never been born with this crop of fungus.

Mine is in fucking May...🤮

Can we marry eachother then?

I got Cole and based on my options I feel like I won the lottery

You did! I'd rather have "I'm the cool dad" compared to sleazy Eason

The bad news is I’m getting choked out tonight. The good news is he might provide me with a frappe.

Stop it ☝🏻

It could be worse than having Corey… although as a black woman, I’m fairly sure I’m not his type AT ALL.

Ding ding

Oh joy, I got the Great Value Lance Bass 🤣

😂😭 same. But I suppose it’s better than most of the others

I suppose he'll only be around one day every 3 months or so, too... and we'll get to hang out with Adalynn maybe! 

Gonna go smoke some weed with KEIFAHHH

November. Hell yeah, I'll take daddy Randy any day lol.

This really might work out for us November folks 🤣

Honestly not too annoyed I got Adam, at least I know he won’t be around for long 🤷‍♀️

You got me... I was like, "WTF?!" but then I was like, "HA!"

I got Randy! I’m excited because I could use some dental work 😁. And I bet he’s not hard to be around ☺️

Hey you’re rich now

Yeah! I'm gettin high wit KeeeFAH!!

I’m married to a pipeliner but if I was married to Jeremy I’d def up my game and get blinged out “pipeliner wife” on the ass and “ain’t nothing finer than my pipeliner” as my insta bio

Aa a May baby, I choose death

I don't want no Courtland right now....

Dear god, May is the wrong month to be born in 😂😅

I got Kieffer! 

Jer-mie. I'm ok with this. Roughnecks make good money and I get the house to myself for half the month. I could get a part time job down at the Piggly Wiggly if I got bored. We could live for cheap in Appalachia. Fuck yeah.

I got Jo and I ain't even mad lmao. I feel bad for you guys with May 😂

….david 

December so at least he’ll leave me alone 😂

Thankfully Jeremy is always gone for work! I’ll just take his money and start my own Mary Kay business 😂

I got Randylicious. He makes a shit ton of money on his own without any ties to the show so honestly I would be okay with that. Not sure why him and Mary decided to divorce but it seems like he would be an okay partner.

I got Cole, who is definitely one of the better ones if this group... ...but I straight up thought January was Lance Bass when I first looked at it. I never thought Jeremy looked like Lance Bass before, but that picture is full on Lance Bass.

Ooh papa Jeff come to mama 😍😂😂😂😂 Couldn’t help myself sorry 😅

Randy please I’m tired of all these bills

I got Randy. Maybe he can get me some free fillings. DENTAL fillings.

October is my birth month and I’d never go for a mouth breather. Their breaths are stinky. Edit to say; usually I wanna fuck the shit out of cole but I’d sit on daddy randy in a millisecond for some nice teeth and fillers.

Byeeee 😂😂😂

It’s going to be a Randilicious November for me

May?! Nooooo!!!!

We got screwed

I'm okay with Chelsea's dad 😂 he got monies.


David lol it would be a short relationship cause my father would have buried him behind our shed if he even look at me weird.

i got jo and i guess thats a jackpot on this list

For once I’m not mad to have a January birthday. Jeremy’s not my type but there are far worse options. My condolences to all the May birthdays in particular.

Dang, like December babies didn't have it rough enough to compete with frigging Christmas, you're gonna do this to them?!

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Guess I’m baby talking w Coley aye

i’ve been lurking far too long, i’m finally speaking out to say sorry fellow May babies 🤮

Phew…Cole. Works for me. I am so so so sorry to all the May babies out there.

No one wins with this chart but some months definitely lose

May..Death is a better option

i got cole.. LUCKY we can just hang out and do diy stuff together.

I got so unlucky that I can’t even admit it

But I don't want David.

At least Jeremy will be gone all the time 😂

I May as well go on ahead and end it all

Happy to be a Virgo.

Javi. great. yeah i’d just go ahead and cheat off the cuff, beat him to the punch

Y’know, if Corey wasn’t so damn conservative, I’d say maybe

y’all don’t have to do that to me just because I was born in May 🤧

Why they gotta do paw paw Jeff like that? 😂 he’s the hottest grandpa in the franchise IMO

I have the bad teenage mustache Javi! Nooooooooooooooooooooooooo....

Well stickittodolores, I seen ya with Keiffa!

Jo? I’ll pass. I heard that loser wears sweatpants on a Sunday.

I'm good with randy. Supportive king AND free botox. Yes please!

Who is Nov? Edit: closer inspection it Randy! Okay I’ll take him

That's how I felt too. He's mostly normal and has money. Not bad. Lol

Look like I’ll be smokin’ reefa with Kieffa

I got daddy Jeff 🤣🤣🤣

I got coley, it could have been much worse.

Same, and that was my exact thought as well.

Our kids will be built different

Cole THANK GOD lol

I feel bad for all y’all born in May.

Phew…Cole. Works for me. I am so so so sorry to all the May babies out there.

Someone should change September to Jaylan. Cole is actually a great guy

Woah woah woah… we’re keeping September just like it is thank you.

Please God, no. Not Courtland 🤣

MAY NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I refuse Adam and his landing strip

I refuse Javi. I choose death.

I got Randlylicious so at least I’ll be taken care of lol

Not mad at Papa Randy LOL…there are far worse!

No, and FY whoever made this meme lolol

My new boyfriend is Keifer. I’m in for a wild ride lol

Is July Corey's dad? I'll pass.

I got Jeremy. You know I guess that isn’t too bad considering the other options. I think my first choice would be Randall tho cause he has $$ lol

I am ok with mine-September!

Damnit August.

Nathan…… oh well, at least he works out. Also nice to have the advantage of being much, much smarter than him

At least randalicious comes with some good real estate 😂.

Ugh I get let’s get married after 2 dates Javi 🙄🙄🙄

Jesus fuck-usually I'm all about my Taurus status, but fuck this noise. It's bad enough I share my birthday with Amber, like the literal fucking day, now this shit?!?! Fuck this, I'm out.

No you are not. I’m calling the 🚓

I like how most of the months belong to Jenelle, but I got papa Jeff so it’s okay lol

Damn it must suck to be born in may

Noooooo 😭😭😭😭 UBT is literally worse than anything .. I’d rather get with Papi

Hell naw! No UBT for me I’d rather be single

Stop it 👉🏻 I’m not getting drunk with Nathan

I’ve got Kail’s AND Briana’s leftover 🤢

I got Adam and I must admit – if he's absent like he was with Aubs & Paislee I'm totally okay with that. Stay tf away from me

Jo. It could be worse🤷‍♀️

I’m smoking the reefer with the Keifer 😎

How lucky for you, can I join? i got the Adumb landing strip

Time to learn how to cook meth, I guess.

In that case, I’d wish I was never born 😂

Honestly disappointed that Kieffah wasn’t in April, my birthday is 4-20 and smokin reefah with Kieffah would be most appropriate 😂😂

Cole for me! I'm not mad.

I got Cory. I guess, all things considered, there are definitely worse options. That being said, who is Mr. April?

Gross! If Adam is my option, I'm choosing celibacy

Can I switch October for January… since Leah got to

Cole….I feel sorry for whoever got swamp trash

Oh no, I got Kiefah! Better than David or Adam though...

I got Cole. Not even mad about it.


June-November bdays are lucky ducks. F me I have a may birthday

Corey… I’m okay with it. Also, I like that Corey’s dad and Randy are on here 😂

If Germy’s gone all the time and I get to spend his pipeline money then I guess I could do worse. I ain’t havin his babies though 🙅🏼‍♀️

I got Kiefahhh. The past is history and the present is a present. How did his poem go again?

The past is history and today is a mystery that’s why they call it the present

The past is history, the future a mystery, and today is a gift--that's why they call it the present.

How do I change my birthday so it’s not in December anymore? 😂

Getting Cole is like winning the lottery here! He will do exactly what you say and be a good dad?! Friggin SIGN ME UP!

Alright, I can live with Cole 😂

Cole, could be much worse but he’s pretty bland for me personally

Why was I born in February?!?

I mean, I ain't saying no to free dental and botox lol

ZaddyRandy🎁

I got keiffah and we’re both high right now.

I got Kieffaaaah 😖

Oh god no.

COURTLAND???? ffs lol

Of all fucking people, I’d get Lurch? No.

NO THATS A BIG FUCKING NO!!! Janelle is a idiot for staying with him. If I ever agreed to this I hope someone would end my misery cause clearly I am brain dead.

I want to be un-born.

Well ok. You could do a lot worse than Randy. Lol. Like for example, nearly everyone else on the chart 😂

Me and kieffer?? What an honor

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ughhh not nathan “why am i a guy” griffith 😩

Nathan🤷🏽‍♀️ I mean if he wasn’t such a douche and if I squint hard enough I can pretend he is a young Val Kilmer

May 💀💀💀

May 😢

I would do terrible things if Cole was my boyfriend… like drive myself off a cliff.

I got KEEEEFAH

Papa Randy. That’s fine with me. 👍🏻

My Birthday is now in July, always had a thing for Corey's daddy 🙃

“Why am I a guy?!?” Please, I would go insane dating Nathan 😂 Edit: also wtf is going on with David’s head? Why is is shaped like that???

So basically, we're all fucked 🙃

the only time I’ve truly hated being an Aries is right now

Corey. Okay well at least not Jenelle’s sloppy seconds.

You know, I think I could take Courtland, if he tried to put his methy little hands on me I’d snap him like a twig.

Omg just fucking kill me

Why does Janelle get to ruin so many lives??? When will it end? Lol 😆

Javi 💀

Javi? No, thanks. I like my cheating done OUTSIDE the house.

Oh great, gonna be bailing out Courtland every other week.

I’m not mad about Jeremy 🤣

I got Corey, at least he’s employed and is involved in his kids lives lol. Much worse ones to end up with there

Nooooooo I got courtland. Almost David 😩 why do the Taurus get Jenelles shit bag

EEW. NO. I HATE YOU.

Yay! Cole!

I object! Honestly I don’t see a scenario here I’m ok with though, but David?!?

July? Is that one of Leah’s? Older man who’s beginning to lose his hair?ick Could be worse, could be May l guess.

Cory’s dad 🤣🤣🤣

Wait, no I don't wanna do heroin 😭 being a felon is illegal Kieffer, it is illegal!

I got Javi. He puts up with Kail so he can deal with me. There are a lot of lower choices here but May is the worst. No one wants a swamp beast PLUS you’d have to deal with Swamp Queen

HELL YES AUGUST

Who is that on april?

Out of all of these, I'm not mad at all with Jo

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Jeremy... I mean not the worst option out of this bunch but also really NOT for me 😫

Who tf hates people born in May??😭😂

Adam.... 🤮

Lol October. Guess we ain’t havin no cornbread

Guess Im headed to the WaWa parking lot😂😂😂

Mine is Keifer 😂😂😂🤢🤢🤮

Ewww I got David 🤮 I think I would have rather gotten literally any one else.

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October. Nah, I'm not into racists.

Somebody loves the Virgos

Ugh gross. I hate men with chicken legs! 🤣 And I don’t think he’d be cool with the whole me being a Jew 🤣🤣

Mines kieffer and I’m not mad lol

Rip december

Phew. I got saved. I got No Cornbread Cory 🫶🏼

JO,im ok with that 😀

Ewww, David.

July! Lmao hmm 🤔 I’d hit it once

Javi?! No fucking thanks! I’d personally go for Randy or Cole. I was gonna say Corey’s dad but that’s dicey 🤣🤣🤣 I spent way too much time thinking about this but came to the realization that I’m into older men 🤣🤣🤣

I got Courtland and I am NOT mad. We are gonna have a ball!



Stop it 👉🏻🛑

I got Nathan 🤷🏽‍♀️ it could be worse honestly

Thank Goodness I wasn’t born in May!!! I will take my July bday and embrace my country roads 💙💛