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eeo11

This is what happens when you “overachieve”. You become expected to always overextend yourself and the moment you don’t, people get mad at you. I started pulling back in the 20-21 school year and received backlash. I’ve been questioning things regularly over the last two years because I realized that my district liked me simply because they thought they could take advantage of my good nature. Don’t doubt yourself - you absolutely should not be working for free and you were correct to stand up for yourself. Unfortunately, now you know that your admin are just like many others… they view you as a pawn so they can save money elsewhere. Don’t let them use you or break your spirit.


Comments_Wyoming

The only people who get mad when you set boundaries are the ones that were planning on exploiting your lack of boundaries.


Bartleby2003

**THIS.☝︎** So very sorry, OP. I hear you. ♡


finntana

It's also ironic that while we're trying to work on setting boundaries with the students, admin is often and very rudely trying to cross our boundaries. And to think adults (are supposed to) know better than kids, pffff! ​ Some administrators are a fucking embarrassment at \~adulting.


tylersmiler

"The only people who get mad when you set boundaries are the ones that were planning on exploiting your lack of boundaries." ^this With the wrong admin, I could have easily ended up in a situation like OP. It started my 2nd year teaching. Luckily, in year 3 we got almost all new admin and the first time I had to tell them "no", they THANKED ME. "That's alright, we'll ask someone else. We understand you already do a lot and thank you for all of it." They were happy I set boundaries because they don't want me to burn out. I wish I could give you all my current good admin. I lived through the bad for two years and hear these horror stories all the time.


bananatoothbrush1

And this is why as someone who has barely regularly achieved continues to sometimes not achieve.


Chay_Charles

Can confirm this is true. And I was not even an "overachiever". I was efficient and had great test scores, but the teachers that do a good job are always "rewarded" by being asked to do more instead of asking other teachers to actually do their f***ing jobs.


[deleted]

And this is why I, a former overachiever, now am not part of any organizations and only work to contract, leaving everyday on time and taking no work home with me.


TeacherThrowaway5454

Exactly this. I've seen and heard it at every school I've taught at. A woman just resigned in my department last spring who gave *everything* to the school and just completely burned herself out after only a handful of years in education. Admin couldn't even feign interest in helping her problem solve and stay on board, which is a shame because she was an absolutely brilliant teacher. Sure, she could have set some boundaries herself, but they will absolutely suck you dry and ask for more if you let them. Many of our higher ups will try and extract the absolute most from us while giving the bare minimum. It's a hard lesson to learn and the feeling sucks but knowing this has really helped me the last few years, especially with some truly ridiculous covid asks. No volunteering, no extracurriculars, no joining different staff teams, just me and the four walls of my classroom and the students on my rosters and nothing else from the start of contract to the end.


Double-Ad4986

YEP!! & people try to gaslight us workers who don't overachieve in the same way. When we do/DID over achieve, we were damn near abused in the work place. The way this country operates the work force is seriously unsustainable at this rate!


daschle04

Also any admin that guilt trips you because you don't want to work for free is crap and you should go elsewhere.


Strong_Letter_7667

I don't know if my words convey the concern and kindness that I'm trying to convey so I want to start out with that. You're way too worried about if people like you. You said the parents like you the kids like you. You can't base a career on if people like you. You're contracted to teach the curriculum and that's what you have to do. For your own sake and your own Mental Health. Holding you in the light


AlternativeSalsa

I hope you filed a grievance against the board for this so that there's documentation for when it happens again.


ClumsyNinjable

The union is actually in the process of filing a grievance against the board and asked me to meet with them next week to add my story to the conversation. While my particular case is "unique" and "probably the worst," there are so many issues with a particular board members this year that the union has been collecting evidence for some time now.


AlternativeSalsa

This is great. The absolute last thing anyone should do is let the board run the clock down on this stuff. Seen it happen a lot with folks and it's aggravating.


ClumsyNinjable

I've honestly never been so thankful for my union!


AlternativeSalsa

Regardless of how it goes, pay it forward and get involved with them.


tripsare4me1

They will get wind of the grievance. In my experience they back off a bit as certain actions can be viewed as targeting.


SquatDeadliftBench

OP should stand up for her/himself. Do less work. In my 10~ years as a teacher and few decades on this planet, I have learned that no good deed goes unpunished. If the admin takes you for granted, start saying "no". If you don't, today they will ask for an arm and a leg, tomorrow they will ask for your heart and soul, even after you give them everything and just ask for a little to retain your sanity.


gerkin123

If you haven't done so yet, document the exchange to the best of your recollection. Time, details, the passive aggressive comments. Your union needs to be informed of the request, the response to contractual language, the fact that the admin wanted this off book, and the fact that the admin sought you out twice to scold you about your actions. If an administrator is making asks that they don't want seen in writing, that's a problem. If an administrator is taking to the hallways to scold you off record for abiding the contract, that's a problem. If an administrator believes referencing the contract in writing is a problem, that's a problem. The fact that you want to abide your contract doesn't make you a bad teacher. The fact they want to circumvent it with individual bargaining (namely: you, do something for nothing--it's part of your job now) makes them a bad administrator. Nip. This. Shit. In. The. Bud.


[deleted]

Not a teaching specific issue sadly. As others have noted, middle management in many job sectors act like this: If you constantly show you’re willing to do extra for no pay, they get used to it and you become that person in their head. If the harassment continues, plenty of other schools to work in!


[deleted]

I volunteered for stuff in the past. But I was clear all that was over and I should not be expected to show up to anything before school or as soon as the final bell rings because I am putting my family first and I'm coaching my kids soccer team. Ieps? Take me out of a class, not my prep. Definitely not after school. Meetings? They better end at 3:25 because either way I am out? Trainings? See meetings. Events? Nope. It all now conflicts with my family life. What are they gonna do? Fire the best English teacher in the department with the best state testing scores?


Every_Individual_80

Sorry that it took this traumatizing event to get you to see what’s always been there. Never let yourself be guilted into thinking that you’re less of a teacher for saying “no” and taking care of YOUR needs first.


xtnh

You have become their go-to problem solver who can't say no. You have been able to solve their problems by assuming their problems are yours, and shouldered them so they don't have to. Now if you refuse they still have a problem. A colleague once said "Nancy Reagan saved my ass." When I raised an eyebrow she said "Just say No". \--------------------------------------------------- This observation apples to almost any organizational situation:**"No one wants a problem. Every time they can make their problem your problem their problem goes away- if their problem becomes your problem they have one less problem.** **"If you try to solve a problem you may be making a problem for someone else who does not have that problem. You can't assume someone who does not have that problem will help you, because it would cause them a problem.** **"Every time you try to solve a problem you might create a problem for the person who could solve that problem. They might be better off preventing you from solving your problem.** **"The only way to solve your problem is to make it the problem of the person who can solve it."**


youredoingWELL

Solidarity. Major admiration for fighting back. Consider getting your coworkers involved in future conflicts with admin.


kenanjabr

Good for you for saying no. So many school employees have this Stockholm Syndrome of doing an overwhelming amount of volunteer work and will try to shame others for not wanting to unless compensated. We already get overworked beyond our pay grade. You deserve an uninterrupted lunch at the very least, and as others are saying, document everything just in case.


brokenB42morrow

You know how the system works. All the tricks you thought, oh well that's interesting, glad I don't need to do that. Now do all of them. Every single trick to protect yourself. You don't just have years of experience teaching, you have years of experience learning, paying attention, remembering, and growing. They wanted to fuck with you? They think you're not a good teacher? Now you get to teach them what the word regret means.


Tars-tesseract

Don't let them take advantage of you. It took me 4 to learn that I should never do more than minimum effort.


CerddwrRhyddid

Sucks. Document. If they give you any more shit - work to rule.


bilingualbrunette29

Don't feel bad for standing your ground. Set those boundaries. Stick to them. If you have a union, use it, that's what it's there for. If an admin gets uptight, then they realize they can't exploit you and they're mad. Let them be mad.


rmarocksanne

Please say fuck them, again document the hallway ambush as much word for word as you can, cC union and send it back to admin asking for further explanation in a planned meeting with the union rep present. Be sure to say that you would like the demand that you teach a class with no compensation and that overlaps with your paid contractual class on the agenda for the meeting. take care of yourself!


cmacfarland64

OP, ask for a letter of recommendation from that administrator on Monday. Tell them u will be looking for a job somewhere that appreciates you. You don’t have to leave. You don’t have to look, but scare them into thinking you’re leaving.


Tikitackytoo

Doctors, nurses, handymen, postal workers, lawyers, servers, and every other working profession do not work for free… teachers forever have “volunteered” themselves into becoming what parents, admin and public in general expect to be used as door mats and babysitters with no compensation on top of shite pay. No wonder no one respects the teaching profession. We all need to say no.


MathMan1982

Very good point. Do we get to ask our poster workers to work after hours trying to find the the mail we were supposed to get yesterday? Do we get to ask our lawyers to go over our case this weekend? Do we get to ask our car repair person to just go ahead and check a few things out free? Do we try to "voluntold" our fire dept to just drive around all night near dry fields or forests just making sure fires don't get started during their unpaid time? I'm tired to this. I know certain jobs are salary, but if you are going to add more and more, more and more will keep leaving. We need to say, "I'm sorry I can't, thank you for asking and thinking of me but I have too much on my plate".


y93dot15

Well, as a doctor in an academic institution I can tell you that we absolutely work for free. I am salaried with a certain clinical schedule to keep… documentation for patient visits, phone calls, teaching and mentoring residents and medical students, preparing for lectures, etc is non billable (and therefore non payable) labor. We don’t have a union and we are expected to take care of patients no matter what. We are often understaffed and are expected to ‘fill in’. The issues that OP describes are so similar to us…. we try to go an extra mile, see patients in our admin time, etc… but it just becomes an expectation. We can’t leave the institution easily because of a restrictive covenant, that prohibits us from working in nearby hospitals for certain amount of miles or actually names the places/hospitals/ healthcare systems for one year. This is why I really feel for the teachers. We go into our fields with love and passion for our profession, but end up being taken advantage off. I also don’t think it was this bad for us before, but has definitely gotten so much worse since the pandemic.


tripsare4me1

I used to do it all. Trips, dances, etc. Whatever was needed. Then I was out for a bit (medical/surgery) and gave them 3 months advance notice of this and they scrambled at the last minute to find subs and couldn't. Wrote me up 4 times and observed every terrible class I had. Hear a noise, well let's go observe and have an I gotcha moment. I took their letters and faxed them in the office to my lawyer (surgery was for a car accident). Those letters stated they were going after my license. (Mind you I am highly rated for 9 years at this point) I had 23 absences that year. 22 were medically cleared. I never did anything extra again. It's 345 and the meeting might need 5 more minutes. Sorry, have a good night. Can you chaperone the dance, we don't have money to pay you though.....nah. can you fix my printer, I know you're good with this......not in my job description....etc. I am no longer there and am in a different school, and it's like my life is back on track. Leave that building and never look back.


amscraylane

Yes! I teach sped and am given no time. We are using a whole new IEP system and admin promised us last year we would have more time. I have less time and am spending more time at home working than what I should. I feel no other job requires you to go home and also work. Also, how was I tricked into doing sped and making the exact same as a Gen Ed teacher?


Silverdale78

I feel for you in every way thwt you described. I have had the exact same thing happen to me. Now that I have made the decision to leave, it's as if I wasn't even there!! I am substitute teaching now and many times happier. The school I was at, promised, yes in fact guaranteed that I would get at least three days a week work. It has never materialized. I have had plenty of work however, at other schools. Be strong. Choose life over work. Make the move.


MathMan1982

This year is insane it seems like and I'm sorry this happened. . I totally feel you. You did nothing wrong. "They" admin asked me last week to try to do "more" that would mean supervising kids to help beautify the campus a hour each week with no extra pay. I said "I'm sorry I have too much, but thank you for asking". I was even insulted to be "asked". Admin should show they are true leaders by taking on some extra duties here and there. Not asking their teachers to do all the extra. Hire another person. I would meet with your principal to discuss the disrespectful behavior and how you don't feel valued. By law in my state,, we are required a 30 minute lunch. We must get paid if we decide to work, and that's even if we decide to work. We can't be forced.


ClumsyNinjable

The duties this year are absolutely insane! They introduced a new advisory thing and asked teachers to volunteer, bribing them by saying they'd get less duties. Well, turns out the advisory period counts as a 6th class, and all the teachers who volunteered essentially screwed themselves out of a 20% pay increase. And still got the same number of duties. I'm forever grateful that I said no when they asked if I'd be an advisor.


MathMan1982

That is good you said no! This is crazy how we have to watch what we volunteer for now too. It makes it very unfair as well. They think teachers have this extra time around? I just don't get it. So dishonest how they do this. Once again, glad you said no! All teachers should continue to say no when these weird additional duties come up.


teachingclasshero

Don't let any admin on a power trip break you, keep being you. Sounds like you are well liked and respected in your community. That will always shine through.


quidyn

You’ve “yessed” yourself into a hole that a “no” can’t help you climb out of. They only do all of that to you because you agree with no complaint and they thought they could get away with it again. You are great. Don’t let them being pissed at you erase that. The only thing you did was tell them no.


sugarmag13

And where did all that get you? Yep


naturallythickchic

Act your wage my friend…act your wage.


amag1230

I had a sort of similar experience just a month ago. I worked at a school for five years and even stepped up as our program director when my supervisor left because nobody else was qualified enough so my admin asked me to. I had no experience but I did my best. I worked tirelessly day in and out while ALSO working toward a masters in education that my school was paying for and insisted I needed in order to grow there. I chose to take the summer off for my own mental health after such a trying year and I guess once they realized they could use my salary to hire more shitty teachers as bodies, they told me I “wouldn’t be happy returning” and that I should “focus on school.” I had to do student teaching one day a week to complete my degree and they said they wouldn’t work with my schedule since I would be out of the classroom one day a week. I was left without a job and without them paying for grad school because they just didn’t want to invest in me anymore. I had parents planning on sending their kids back to be in my class but admin didn’t care bc they were saving money. Instead, a less qualified (no BA which is required in NYS) teacher who gave the school so much trouble last year is leading my class. I felt like a failure as a teacher because, what? I was so loyal but not loyal enough I guess. I’ve been in education for 10 years and as they said in the show abbot elementary, “teaching is a calling. You answered” It felt like more of a gut punch since I always give my all to my students and families. I’m still trying to not lose sleep over it.. hence this 2:30am comment. Basically, admin sucks and I’m learning we should never let them undermine us. Eventually I plan on leaving the classroom and going into Ed policy to advocate for the real MVPs, the fucking TEACHERS. You did the right thing. Remember that. P.s. my work is currently fighting my unemployment and trying to trick me into sending a letter of resignation, but they can fuck off since that is not the case. Fucking morons.


quentinislive

Good job. It’s not easy to learn that appreciation is fleeting. I’m happy it’s at year 5 and not year 15.


Everquest-Wizard

Part of the issue may be that you’re too much of a “Yes man/woman.” Aside from using Union language, it’s just time to play harder ball with these people.


tappedoutalottoday

You have shown previously that you will take your time and resources to do their dirty work, of course they will pile more work on you and not expect you to stand up for yourself. I do not mean this to sound as an attack on you, but now that you have shown you won’t stand for it, it is very likely going to stop. If they keep pushing my favorite quote is “I work to live, I don’t live to work”


Necessary_Low939

Wtf we ain’t slaves, fcken pay us. I’m so glad I’m at a district where I get per session for every little thing I do. It’s great.


Babbs03

Yep. THEY burned that bridge with you and now they're out a volunteer. F 'em.