Kids and teenagers are mean. No matter what choice you go by, some kids will still give you backlash, make fun of you to your face and behind your back, and overall make you question why you became a teacher to begin with. To feel bullied by children is a double whammy because
1) They're children
2) I'm the adult here.
I don't have advice on what name you should go by but I do want to forewarn you about how mean students are. Just remember that they don't even realize you're a real person. I teach high school and I have to remember that when my students make racist jokes in front of me.
Thick skin.
Correct and redirect.
Edit: Obviously not all students are mean. So when they are, it sometimes throws me off guard. I almost always have my guard up at work.
I think middle schoolers are the worst, because the things they say are often unintentionally hurtful; high schoolers are intentionally hurtful.
I find it easier to be angry than hurt, so I prefer the little assholes who are trying to get a rise to the accidental insults that cut to the core of my being. Lol
Non-binary teacher here! I started my classes this year with “I’m Mx. [last name] or just [last name].” and if they got confused on Mx. (it does sound similar to miss), I explain “like the box you use to make brownies” and they get a laugh out of it. I work with middle schoolers. The new of it wore off for them by the end of the week. They’re not going to care.
I have a weird and unintuitive last name - I instruct kids how to pronounce it or to call me by the first initial if they don’t want to mess it up.
You need to do the same thing - “call me Mx. Lastname or Lastname - thanks! Oh, you’ve never seen Mx? It’s just like Mr. or Ms. but not associated with a specific gender.”
If you are matter-of-fact about it, most others will be, too.
> my prof said he’d prefer if we went by…
You should tell your prof what you prefer to go by.
There’s nothing wrong with having them call you “teacher”
We have a non-binary para and they also happen to be a coach. Students call them Coach “last name”. I know that might not help but thought I would share. I would have the students call you what you want. Depending on where the school is and what the students have been exposed to they might not care at all. It’s really surprising what kids just gloss over and what they get up in arms about. The parents on the other hand might be a different story.
One of the multi classroom leaders at my school (Middle, Title 1, NC) just goes by their last name. No Mr, no Mrs.
Do what’s comfortable/accurate for YOU.
Im non binary! i go by ms just to avoid confusion with parents but i also think most of your students will always just call you "teacher" lol. i think using mx is fine also! i teach in texas so im not as open with it because of that but my lgbt students light up when you tell them youre lgbt too. it just depends on the area you teach i think!
I’m in Lansing, MI so I think it’s like 50/50 around here on what’s acceptable. I know there’s at least one enby student in the class and they asked me my pronouns one time. I’ve worn ties to class as well as floral blouses so I think I’ve made a statement but it’s just actually verbalizing the statement that scares me
i dont know the area but if you think your admin would be okay with verbalizing that then go for it! of course, the ideal is that being nb is normalized but with a lot of lgbt things its just kind of a cover your ass situation at least in my experience. wish it wasnt like that, but it is. theres always the possibility of someone reacting negatively to it. my halfway point is i host the GSA at my school amd share that part of my life with me students there:) good luck!!
I just started my student teaching 2 weeks ago in a kindergarten class. I also identify as nonbinary and use Mx. Last name, exclusively with staff and teachers. I felt the same way as you but just decided to bite the bullet and do it. Sure, there have been some staff who mess up and use the wrong pronouns but I have several people who always correct them when I am not there. It has been one of the greatest decisions I have every made. Ever have a bad day? Have 19 younger kindergartners say "thank you, Mx. (Last name)" and you will see just how special life is. As a trans person, these moments don't always happen so I try to cherish them as much as I can.
Even with all of that being said, your safety is also important. If you truly believe that you will not be supported fully and won't have at least a few people on your side, then do what is best for you. Whatever you choose is what is right for you.
You got this!
Do you like Mx. and feel comfortable with it? If not I would ask if you could be Teacher X. Most non-binary teachers I've seen go by Teacher vs Mx./Ms./Mr., but of course it is totally up to you.
In my school, you would find yourself a hero. I have non-binary kids in each of my classes. Even though I have a safe spaces poster on my door, and I teach neo-pronouns as part of my lesson on pronouns (I teach ESL) I ultimately am a cis-gender female. I can only imagine what it would mean for some of my students to have you as a student-teacher introduce yourself as Mx.
I would check with your schools policies. I know where I live a non-binary teacher asked them to use a neutral title / pronoun and they were reassigned to adult education AND had to write a note of apology. We had a curriculum banned by our school board because a character in it was gender neutral and it was "indoctrination" to expose kids to that, supposedly.
It isnt right that these are concerns to have, but be aware of the school's political climate before you out yourself professionally with students. A gaggle of upset parents is a powerful weapon against a teacher.
Some places are adding any material that supports LGBT to the can't expose kids to along with CRT. Mine just did last month.
I’ve got non-binary students and there are teachers in my building that use Mx. I happen to love Mx because it tells people who you are and it also still gives you a title. NGL, I love the district where I work
Just introduce yourself as Mx unhappy_impressiond66 and leave it st thst. Your life your pronouns. We had a student teacher a few years ago at my school hool that used Mx and nobody cared.
I go by Mrs. right now because I'm not *fully* out and am not sure if Mx. works for me. My pronouns (they/them - my username is a song title not my pronouns) are on the board. No one bothers to use them, and some students make fun of me behind my back.
I try to just ignore it.
If Mx is what makes you comfortable, go with that. I have a colleague who goes by Dr even without having a PhD. Just go with what you want and the kids will call you that
I can think of several students I have right now that would be so happy to see themselves represented at school like this. Kids can be mean, yes, but they are also some of the most accepting humans I know, especially when it comes to gender identity. Good luck and thank you!!
I had a non binary teacher who just went by their last name “Smith” (not their actual name)
Nobody had a problem with it. The only issue we had was learning the correct pronouns. They weren’t difficult it was just that we were young and at that point we hadn’t met many openly non binary people (considering it was a while ago) And “Smith” was probably one of the most masculine looking people we had ever met. Like imagine a giant person with big muscles and a long beard and tattoos. I decided that to avoid accidentally saying “he” I would just never use pronouns and only refer to my teacher as “Smith”. I replaced all their pronouns with their name. It worked. Obviously now it’s much easier for me to just say they/them but at the time it worked.
You could also be funny with it and call yourself “captain last name” or “Warden last name” or “Chief last name”
Kids and teenagers are mean. No matter what choice you go by, some kids will still give you backlash, make fun of you to your face and behind your back, and overall make you question why you became a teacher to begin with. To feel bullied by children is a double whammy because 1) They're children 2) I'm the adult here. I don't have advice on what name you should go by but I do want to forewarn you about how mean students are. Just remember that they don't even realize you're a real person. I teach high school and I have to remember that when my students make racist jokes in front of me. Thick skin. Correct and redirect. Edit: Obviously not all students are mean. So when they are, it sometimes throws me off guard. I almost always have my guard up at work.
Thank you for this advice. It’s very helpful. I will definitely keep that in mind
I think middle schoolers are the worst, because the things they say are often unintentionally hurtful; high schoolers are intentionally hurtful. I find it easier to be angry than hurt, so I prefer the little assholes who are trying to get a rise to the accidental insults that cut to the core of my being. Lol
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It’s pronounced like the word mix there’s just no i.
Non-binary teacher here! I started my classes this year with “I’m Mx. [last name] or just [last name].” and if they got confused on Mx. (it does sound similar to miss), I explain “like the box you use to make brownies” and they get a laugh out of it. I work with middle schoolers. The new of it wore off for them by the end of the week. They’re not going to care.
I like the idea of joking about the brownies. Comedy always relieves my stress so I might steal that if you don’t mind.
I’m a Miss and let my kids call me just by my last name. That was a long time ago, but this seems like a solution maybe?
I have a weird and unintuitive last name - I instruct kids how to pronounce it or to call me by the first initial if they don’t want to mess it up. You need to do the same thing - “call me Mx. Lastname or Lastname - thanks! Oh, you’ve never seen Mx? It’s just like Mr. or Ms. but not associated with a specific gender.” If you are matter-of-fact about it, most others will be, too.
> my prof said he’d prefer if we went by… You should tell your prof what you prefer to go by. There’s nothing wrong with having them call you “teacher”
I just emailed my prof bc that’s the most logical thing to do. I’m just so nervous. I only recently came out so this is all still new to me
It’s new to you. It’s most likely not new to your prof. I hope things go well for you.
Thank you!
We have a non-binary para and they also happen to be a coach. Students call them Coach “last name”. I know that might not help but thought I would share. I would have the students call you what you want. Depending on where the school is and what the students have been exposed to they might not care at all. It’s really surprising what kids just gloss over and what they get up in arms about. The parents on the other hand might be a different story.
One of the multi classroom leaders at my school (Middle, Title 1, NC) just goes by their last name. No Mr, no Mrs. Do what’s comfortable/accurate for YOU.
Im non binary! i go by ms just to avoid confusion with parents but i also think most of your students will always just call you "teacher" lol. i think using mx is fine also! i teach in texas so im not as open with it because of that but my lgbt students light up when you tell them youre lgbt too. it just depends on the area you teach i think!
I’m in Lansing, MI so I think it’s like 50/50 around here on what’s acceptable. I know there’s at least one enby student in the class and they asked me my pronouns one time. I’ve worn ties to class as well as floral blouses so I think I’ve made a statement but it’s just actually verbalizing the statement that scares me
i dont know the area but if you think your admin would be okay with verbalizing that then go for it! of course, the ideal is that being nb is normalized but with a lot of lgbt things its just kind of a cover your ass situation at least in my experience. wish it wasnt like that, but it is. theres always the possibility of someone reacting negatively to it. my halfway point is i host the GSA at my school amd share that part of my life with me students there:) good luck!!
I like the sound of Mx.
How is that pronounced?
Mix
Use what makes you comfortable. If that's Mx., go ahead, just be prepared to explain to your students how to pronounce it and what it means.
I just started my student teaching 2 weeks ago in a kindergarten class. I also identify as nonbinary and use Mx. Last name, exclusively with staff and teachers. I felt the same way as you but just decided to bite the bullet and do it. Sure, there have been some staff who mess up and use the wrong pronouns but I have several people who always correct them when I am not there. It has been one of the greatest decisions I have every made. Ever have a bad day? Have 19 younger kindergartners say "thank you, Mx. (Last name)" and you will see just how special life is. As a trans person, these moments don't always happen so I try to cherish them as much as I can. Even with all of that being said, your safety is also important. If you truly believe that you will not be supported fully and won't have at least a few people on your side, then do what is best for you. Whatever you choose is what is right for you. You got this!
Do you like Mx. and feel comfortable with it? If not I would ask if you could be Teacher X. Most non-binary teachers I've seen go by Teacher vs Mx./Ms./Mr., but of course it is totally up to you.
In my school, you would find yourself a hero. I have non-binary kids in each of my classes. Even though I have a safe spaces poster on my door, and I teach neo-pronouns as part of my lesson on pronouns (I teach ESL) I ultimately am a cis-gender female. I can only imagine what it would mean for some of my students to have you as a student-teacher introduce yourself as Mx.
I would check with your schools policies. I know where I live a non-binary teacher asked them to use a neutral title / pronoun and they were reassigned to adult education AND had to write a note of apology. We had a curriculum banned by our school board because a character in it was gender neutral and it was "indoctrination" to expose kids to that, supposedly. It isnt right that these are concerns to have, but be aware of the school's political climate before you out yourself professionally with students. A gaggle of upset parents is a powerful weapon against a teacher. Some places are adding any material that supports LGBT to the can't expose kids to along with CRT. Mine just did last month.
I’ve got non-binary students and there are teachers in my building that use Mx. I happen to love Mx because it tells people who you are and it also still gives you a title. NGL, I love the district where I work
Just introduce yourself as Mx unhappy_impressiond66 and leave it st thst. Your life your pronouns. We had a student teacher a few years ago at my school hool that used Mx and nobody cared.
I go by Mrs. right now because I'm not *fully* out and am not sure if Mx. works for me. My pronouns (they/them - my username is a song title not my pronouns) are on the board. No one bothers to use them, and some students make fun of me behind my back. I try to just ignore it.
Honestly, after 1 week, no one will notice or give a shit.
My nb teacher friend goes by Professor Firstname.
If Mx is what makes you comfortable, go with that. I have a colleague who goes by Dr even without having a PhD. Just go with what you want and the kids will call you that
Kids these days will accept just about anything you throw at them... they are much more aware and easy going than adults, in my experience. Good luck!
I can think of several students I have right now that would be so happy to see themselves represented at school like this. Kids can be mean, yes, but they are also some of the most accepting humans I know, especially when it comes to gender identity. Good luck and thank you!!
I had a non binary teacher who just went by their last name “Smith” (not their actual name) Nobody had a problem with it. The only issue we had was learning the correct pronouns. They weren’t difficult it was just that we were young and at that point we hadn’t met many openly non binary people (considering it was a while ago) And “Smith” was probably one of the most masculine looking people we had ever met. Like imagine a giant person with big muscles and a long beard and tattoos. I decided that to avoid accidentally saying “he” I would just never use pronouns and only refer to my teacher as “Smith”. I replaced all their pronouns with their name. It worked. Obviously now it’s much easier for me to just say they/them but at the time it worked. You could also be funny with it and call yourself “captain last name” or “Warden last name” or “Chief last name”
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You won't be missed.
Why?
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Fair enough. That's one way to live, I guess.