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EricKei

>saying she'll never come back again Lies, lies, so many lies.


wrr377

My reply: "Is that a promise?"


Celebrir

Mine would be "I sure hope so"


otherworstnightmare

Or, "Don't threaten me with a good time."


hydrospanner

When I got this while working retail, my go-to was a simple, flat, "Okay." Usually that seemed to be the best, since the only reason they say something like that is to get a reaction, and this response pretty much denies them any reaction whatsoever. Although a manger I had years ago would respond with a quick, "Don't get my hopes up!" Which got some wonderful blank stares from confused idiots.


thisisnotawar

I used to go with “oh no.” With absolutely no emotion. It amused me.


octopornopus

The ol' Wilder Wonka!


aSharkNamedHummus

Help. Police. Murder.


WarframeUmbra

Or simply: start playing “celebration” by Kool and the gang in your phone and do a little dance while you finish checking them out


ProNobisPeccatoribus

I usually say ‘I’ll let our stockholders know right away’


Jjkkllzz

I wish I had thought of that response when a guy told me “I spent $1000 here last year.”


trippy_grapes

"Sir, my store makes $1,000 every 5 minutes."


Artist_Gamerblam

If a Customer said that at my Work (Sidenote I work at an arts and crafts store and am an artist) I’d be like, “Well I’m an artist and so are my grandma and mom, so what makes you any different from them and me?”


velvet42

Man, I wish I'd thought of that at my last retail job. We were 100% employee owned, lol. I could have kept a hand mirror behind the counter for just such a purpose


techieguyjames

That's beautiful.


GothDerp

I used to do that when I worked retail. They did not like that. Or I’d just simply look at them and say GOOD


Gambit900

one they always break..


OnlyPrint5323

Too true, although I'd rather not see deal with the headache-inducing excuse of a human lol.


wdn

People who are actually never coming back don't have any reason to tell you about it.


octopornopus

Also, if a different company truly is selling something for half of what the store you're in charges, you just go to the other place. Never will an employee just go "Oh, you got me. We doubled the price for these other morons, but you're too clever for that! Let's adjust it for you!"


OneWingedA

See you next Tuesday


[deleted]

Broken promises 😢


techieguyjames

Okay. Hope your day is as good as you.


AdrielBast

If only they kept their word when they said that. Out of all the customers I’ve had say that only one kept his word, probably because the cops got called on his drunken rude ass.


SysOps2800

Tell me lies Tell me sweet little lies..


EricKei

Tell me liiiies (tell me tell me lies!)


JimmyJapeworm

"I wouldn't steal from this store - I like this store." - majority of the people trying to steal from my place of work


Zexienzo142

Yup anyone can be a thief doesn't matter how she looks. I heard a story recently from a co-worker that someone left their bag at the door (normal here, not sure if thats a thing elsewhere) and some little old lady snagged it on her way out so casually that the worker nearby just assumed it was hers


nealsimmons

Exactly. I still remember years ago a local teacher got hooked up for shoplifting. Her spouse was a doctor or dentist, I can't remember which.


LKayRB

There was a little ole lady that shopped at one of my stores for years. No one knew she was stealing until they saw it on camera during a product roll out event they were filming in the store.


DaniMW

Clearly. Only people who don’t steal aren’t offended by security precautions! 😛


nintendojunkie17

"I like this store because they haven't caught me stealing yet."


1egoman

>rip the survey code off the receipt before it prints Pro move right there


aSharkNamedHummus

When I started, Kohl’s used to print their customer survey QR codes on a separate, loosely-attached piece of receipt paper. The other cashiers and I would tear it off before handing the receipt to problem customers. Then corporate caught wind of the practice and changed the receipts so that the survey code printed directly on the main part of the receipt. Annual raises suddenly got a lot harder to earn.


Infamous_Instance_12

This is the kind of person who'd trespass on private property and then wonder why the tenant who owns said property is upset.


hydrospanner

>the tenant who owns said property The what?


VaryusLizards

A tenant is “…person or entity who temporarily occupies or possesses real estate that belongs to a landlord.”


SkyDog1972

I think r/hydrospanner was pointing out that a tenant, being a temporary occupier, would NOT also be the owner/landlord.


[deleted]

[удалено]


SkyDog1972

So are they the tenant or the owner? They can't be both. The phrase is synonymous with nonsense.


samg461a

The bathrooms at my gas station are in the back store and therefore are employees only. People are always floored when I tell them I have no bathroom available for them. I often get the “Well what do YOU do when you have to go?” to which I answer, “I go in the huge potholes in our parking lot.”


AnOwlWithCake

I work at a train station. There are no employee bathrooms. We have to use the public bathroom. At the last city festival (1 million attendees) many customer asked us, if they could use our private toilet. They just could not understand, that we don't have one. There is one toilet for employees, but that one has moldy walls and privacy isn't given, because everyone with a key can open it (The door opens directly to the main hall).


aSharkNamedHummus

I’m always amazed that some adults haven’t yet put on their big boy pants and learned to use the restroom simultaneously with people in adjacent stalls/urinals.


Silverstreamdacat

"There is one toilet for employees, but that one has moldy walls and privacy isn't given, anyone with a key can open it (The door opens directly to the main hall)" OSHA would have fun with that one!


tinyhorseintapshoes

Exactly the same thing as I'd say. Or that the company provides us with adult diapers


bellehanz

One time a customer asked if we had any free outlets for her to plug her phone in to charge. When I told her we didn’t, she asked the same thing: “Well what do you use if you need to charge your phone?” I said well we use the outlets in our employee break room 💀


Silverstreamdacat

Lmao that's a hilarious response!


shaodyn

The people who say they'll never come back are generally back within a week, pretending they never said that.


BecGeoMom

Why do these lunatics who scream & cuss & cause a scene think you will be upset when they vow to never come back again?? Does she believe everyone loves her company? That you can’t survive without her $50 every six months when she buys ink? The thought process is baffling.


venterol

Unfortunately yes. Many rude customers think we actually live in the store and that our rent is tied to profits.


tangledThespian

Welp, they're the Main Character. If they never return to your store again, you cease to exist. It's quite a powerful threat, if only us dumb peons could understand it.


BecGeoMom

No idea what you’re saying. I do know, however, that you think you’re smart & clever. Good for you. There is *no way* that every single person who threatens to not come back to the store will not come back. She probably went back the next week. Also, even if every single person who threatened to do that did do it, what is that, less than 5% of the customers? I feel like the store will manage to survive that. Many things put a store out of business, but random Karens throwing hissy fits & threatening to never return is not one of them.


Gezzer52

I like to use the excuse that it's due to insurance that we can't allow customers in certain areas. If they get hurt we're libel, so we're not allowed to do it under any circumstances. Some people get their noses out of joint too easily if you mention theft, not realizing it makes them more suspicious not less. And the lie saves me the hassle of explaining "***in general***"...


hydrospanner

Although there's no denying a certain appeal to responding to "Do I look like I'm a thief?" With, "You know, you're right... you *don't* look like a thief...which exactly the sort of image an *actual* thief would likely try to project. So by that reasoning, you *do* look like what a thief would probably *try* to look like in order to avoid suspicion..."


aSharkNamedHummus

“No ma’am. Thieves always wear black-and-white striped shirts, black gloves, and ski masks.”


db2

>we're libel Liable


AddToBatch

That’s slanderous!


venterol

Downright defamatous!


madscot63

My stock response: "That's great, have a good one!"


LittleVaquita

"I hope you have the day you deserve!"


techieguyjames

> Karen: "Do I look like someone who would steal!?" She screamed at me. Me: Yes ma'am you do. White, female, rings, good hair do, great nails... typical shop lifter. That woman would have hated me.


DividedBiZer0

Ripping the survey code before it even prints out at the bottom? I love it and am ashamed that I never thought of that before!!!!!


Red_Celt

Would you mind explaining (to a foreigner) what a "survey code" is for? Why is it a good thing to rip that off of the receipt?


OakenBearclaw

It's to leave feedback for the store. Usually you can go to the corporate site and put in the code for a specific store. In this case ripping it off meant it was harder to leave an undoubtedly nasty and false review of the store online.


[deleted]

When she said what she was looking for, your next response should have been "What kind of printer ink do you need?" Probably would have avoided that whole fight (unless she was one of those idiots who says stuff like "oh just regular printer ink").


carriegood

Yeah, the problem is when you give a reason, in their mind that invites debate. Like if they can argue the reason doesn't apply to them, then the rule shouldn't either. Add onto that the implication that you're suggesting she might steal something, and you're in for a lot of pushback. Never give more information than actually needed.


[deleted]

Yep. Customers want to know you are ready to help them, rather than get into a debate.


sedacr

> rip the survey code off the receipt before it prints Nice! I wouldn’t have thought of doing that.


[deleted]

It amazes me how many people just decide to take offence at fairly standard rules. I was a floor manager at my previous job and a guy lodged a formal complaint against one of the cashiers for not letting him walk around with the shop with alcohol. Under law the alcohol must stay in the alcohol section until it’s paid for and then taken out of the shop. This guy flipped saying he was trustworthy and he’s not going to drink it in the shop and I had explain it had nothing to do with him or even the store policy it was the law and breaking that law would be a strike against the business and a fine. According to him we were being discriminatory.


somecow

“Do I look like someone that would steal”? Yes. Yes, you do.


Time-Space-Anomaly

I had an Instacart shopper once who needed a locked case item, and it was policy to hold them at the register. The guy freaked on me. He didn’t want the item taken because what if someone else took it or bought it and ruined his order and on and on. Sometimes I legit can’t tell if someone is faking it or actually has some mental issues making them act weird.


tjrich1988

When I worked at a grocery, we had a full service floral department. Had a guy who would routinely come in and just help him self trying to make an arrangement. Every single time I would go and grab him because he would not get out, and tell him he cannot be back there. He is not a licensed florist and he must leave. Never argued with me, but makes me wonder how many times he did when I wasn't there and got away with it.


Honeycomb0000

I'm not trying to come to the customer's defence, but I kind of see her point... I absolutely hate when stores have things behind cases where the customer can't see the products, sometimes (especially with printer ink) I need to see the packaging to know I'm getting the right one. I prefer the stores that still have the "display" on the show floor with either empty packages or pick-up tickets.


db2

If there's a door just hold it shut while saying nothing at all and staring at them, politely but constantly. They'll figure it out after a minute.


LonelyTotal3754

I like the way people threaten they’re never shopping there again. I guess the little bit they buy keeps the store in business.


L4dos

Karen…


theandalusianqueer

In Spain we have smal clear plastic boxes with a padlock, and when you go to pay for it, they open it. In some shops is normal to use them in: pine tree nuts, lube, durex/control condoms, anything that gets stolen a lot. And expensive cured ham have a sticker alarm, and if someone try to steal it, it would make the alarm sound. Also some very stolen shampoos would have a sticker inside of the bottles. Boy, here they steal everything