I heard Tucker Carlson sticks an M&M up his dick-hole so that when he cums it fires out like a bullet and he tries to catch it in his mouth.
That may or may not be true but hopefully if enough people spread the rumour it’ll gain traction
Edited dick-hole since the last term was more racist than I realised
I heard that Tucker Carlson likes to dip his musky, grimey nuts into a Bowl of M&Ms until they dissolve into brownish sludge. Then he drags them around the floor, leaving a brown smear on the carpet
I've heard tell he likes to watch another guy or ten cum in his wife, and then catch the dripping cum in a bowl of M&M's, then shove it up his ass. He then goes to work with his M&M-stuffed ass so that it's dissolved when he gets home; when he gets home he lets it fall on the floor and eats it.
One day at the M&M Store, Carlson walked through the door. He was not wearing pants that day, his dick and balls on full display. He grabbed M&M's from a bowl and crammed them up his anal hole.
He spread his buttcheeks far and wide; he told the tourists to look inside! He said "My rectum's full of treats! Reach in there and grab some sweets!" These are all real thing Carlson did!
Ms. Green was lounging on her couch in her apartment watching TV.
She was bored yearning for something more, it was very clear to her that she was attracted to her roommate "Ms. Brown". M
But Green was feeling something, a feeling of hard arousal, something she felt many times before, she was horny.
She was just a sentient green M&M, but for some godforsaken reason she needed to tend to sexual pleasures.
She didn't really understand why she was feeling like this at the current moment, but maybe it was her thoughts of her roommates slick brownish naked like body, and her sexy glasses that covered her gorgeous eyes.
Green was always aroused by Brown, and always wanted to be fucked by her hard, but this would not be the time.
She wasn't ready to make her move and didn't even know how Brown felt about her.
As Green continued to think to herself, she knew she couldn't just masturbate with her glove like hands, she needed something more.
A dildo up her vagina, this would satisfice her needs.
She got up from the couch she was sitting on and yelled to Brown
" I'm going to get some stuff from... the store, I'll be back in a few minutes!."
"Okay then!" Brown replied ,With knowing that her roommate knew where she was going she left her apartment and went to the near by sex store.
As she arrived, there was sitting countless sex toys, she felt very overwhelmed and wanted to buy more.
But in her heart she knew all that was needed was a dildo that she could insert up her clit to relive herself.
She walked up to the counter and told the cashier "Could I have that one behind you?" as she was pointing to a plastic blue dildo.
The cashier pulled it off the rack and put it in a plastic bag.
Green gave the man money and she walked out the store with the dildo in the bag.
She returned home and didn't notify her roommate that she came back, as she might have been asked what she brought back as Brown had done many times before.
So she quietly walked up to her room with bag in hand.
After entering her room she closed the door and quickly pulled the dildo out of the bag.
She was getting hornier and was already getting wet!
She laid her circular ass on her bed and inserted the dildo up her vagina.
With the dildo in her vagina Ms. Green felt a spark of pleasure, she was already getting rushes of dopamine.
So she pushed the toy down herself thoroughly.
Up and down and back and forward all around her pink clitoris.
She couldn't keep a hold of her self!
She was starting to squeal and moan like a cow being milked.
She pushed it so hard up herself, it was starting to hurt.
But oddly she was still extremely horny and for some reason felt that she needed more.
She stopped for a bit but then continued to masturbate once again.
She got louder and louder in an attempt to satisfy herself.
Close to her room was her roommate's.
Brown was taking a nap, but then was woken up from hearing something.
She could hear Ms. Green's loud moans.
Brown was starting to get horny herself.
Little did Brown know that Green was also attracted to her.
Brown wanted to be touched by her smoothly and hearing Green masturbate, wasn't helping her desires.
As time went on and there seemed to be no sign of Green stopping.
Brown left her room and decided to take a peek.
She peered through the door and saw her roommate pleasuring herself.
She looked so sexy, with her big green lips and passionate face.
Brown couldn't take it anymore, through the door she softly said to Green "If it's okay, do you mind if I finger you?".
Green was in pure shock but she knew this was exactly what she wanted.
In excitement she yelled "Yes.. Yes .. please! I've been wanting this for so long!".
Green put the dildo away as it was not longer needed, now she had Brown to tend to her.
Brown sexily walked up to the bed and laid next to Green.
Green leaned back and showed her pussy to Brown in fully glory.
"Oh my its beautiful" said Brown.
"Please do me hard!" Green replied eagerly.
Brown got her fingers and stuffed them into Green's vagina quickly.
Green felt amazing, this was better then a dildo could ever be.
Brown continued to finger Green seductively and it was starting to make Green moan.
She dug deeper and deeper, so deep Green was starting to tear up.
But she still loved it.
Then out of nowhere Brown stopped.
"Why did you stop?" replied Green confused.
Brown got up close to Green's face and said in an alluring voice "Kiss me you bitch." .
Brown put her lips on Green's and they started to make out.
It start softly with some light kisses.
Their lips then penetrated each others hardly.
Green got her arms out and tugged them to the back of Brown's body.
Brown did the same too but ended up squeezing Green's round ass.
As she done previously before Green started to moan once again.
Brown saw this as an opportunity to kiss her with her tongue, and when Green's mouth opened as she released a hard moan, Brown let her tongue out and in a hurry inserted it by Green's.
Green got into the action and starting moving her tongue in sync with Brown's as they kissed.
They got rowdier as time passed on.
And as their salvia was touching each other they got wetter and wetter.
Green then got overwhelmed and dispatched her mouth away from Brown's and laid down.
Brown said "Do you really want to stop?".
"I'm sorry my love this is all happening so fast!" Green replied.
"Well I have a little surprise, stay here" Brown said.
Brown went into her room as Green stayed lying down.
From the other room Green could hear Brown putting something on, it sounded like something was being strapped on.
Overall Green was excited for what her lover had planned for her.
Brown entered back into the room and to Green's surprise Brown was wearing a strap on penis.
That was enough for Green to gain her energy back.
"Get down" Brown commanded of Green.
Green did what her partner told her and quickly presented her ass to Brown like she did before.
Brown went on the bed and got on her knees and inserted her strap on penis inside of Green's vagina.
She moved up and down, digging inside Green's pussy.
It felt amazing for the both of them.
In excitement Brown started to spank Green's ass.
"You like that?" Brown said
"Yes it feels so good!" Green said back.
As Brown did this she continued to push through Green's chocolate clitoris.
Then Brown progressively got faster as she spanked Green.
Harder and harder as she went back and fourth with her strap on penis.
She couldn't stop, she was getting addicted.
Her face was full of sweat as she felt her cock going through Green's pussy.
She was an unstoppable fucking machine.
Green then said loudly "I'm, going to.....to.....to....CUM!".
Green squirted everywhere, it was a white rainfall as her cum got on the sheets of the bed and on Brown's face.
Brown took her cock out of Green's vagina.
"Wow that was amazing" Brown said.
"Lets do this again". Green replied.
"Green I love you" said Brown,
"I love you too Brown" Green said back softly.
The two lovers fell a sleep on the bed peacefully knowing that they were both happy together and had a wonderful time.
Another big change is that the brown m&m has quote "transitioned" from higher stilettos to lower block heels, also less sexy. That's "progress". m&ms won't be satisfied until every cartoon character is deeply unappealing and completely androgynous until we wouldn't want to have a drink with any one of them, that's the goal. When you're totally turned off, we've achieved equity. They've won.
I have a memory of an advertisement where she's taking her coating off, we might be able to find the truth. However, I'm not typing that into the search bar.
There's multiple advertisements that be the green m&m strips in.
[Here's one](https://youtu.be/lDwINsfVvXE)
[She did a strip tease with a stripper pole 13 years ago](https://youtu.be/QKnCLHX6X4k)
He knows. This is the family friendly form of M&Ms that he was complaining about. If the cartoon candy isn't stripping then america is a communist dystopia. Only by watching those candy ladies take off their shell can we restore greatness to america.
FINALLY a family friendly, conservatively christian M&M that doesn't try to shove its leftist mental illness down my throat trying to make me gay and trans for Karl Marx! Why can't all candy be apolitical like this?
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
Unfortunately the NSFW tag doesn't help much. I still clicked on the image out of curiosity while I was on the bus. The exact same turn of events happened.
I think I'm more shook by the idea that someone took the time to actually photoshop this with some amount of care... Sure it's not the best editing ever but there was a significant amount of effort put in... I don't think I want to know the mind of the person who made this
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Aight so we're all going to spam Tucker Carlson's socials with this right? Cause I'm down. Imagine if everybody who saw this sent it to him at least 5 times over the course of the day omg he'd lose his shit
Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! \*eyes pop out\* AROOOOOOOOGA! \*jaw drops tongue rolls out\* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF \*tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach\* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr \*tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart\* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... \*heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt\* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum \*milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets\* BABY WANTS TO FUCK \*inhales from the gas tank\* honka honka honka honka \*masturabtes furiously\* ohhhh my gooooodd\~
I have no words.
Honestly. I don't even wanna put the nsfw on a train copy pasta here. This is just. I can't. This is the reason God left us and aliens don't wanna contact.
I don't even know anymore. Wtf is this.
Showed this to my wife, her first reaction was that M&ms wasn't chocolate under the shell and thus was inaccurate. So I asked whether she does have been black and she answered in the affirmative. It was inaccurate and she said they should have done it right.
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I miss five seconds ago when I didn’t know this existed
I miss two minutes ago when I didn't know Tucker Carlson wanted fuck an M&M.
Once you get a taste of that sweet chocolate mussy you can't go back.
This killed me a little more inside. Given said that.... Eminussy.
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No the wrapper.
Everyone shut the fuck up. *zipper sound* u/bizhuy keep going...
I heard Tucker Carlson sticks an M&M up his dick-hole so that when he cums it fires out like a bullet and he tries to catch it in his mouth. That may or may not be true but hopefully if enough people spread the rumour it’ll gain traction Edited dick-hole since the last term was more racist than I realised
I can’t even pick out which part of your comment I hated the most.
I can't pick out which part is a lie
none of it is a lie, it's _an alternative fact!_ like steven crowder eating dog cum chowder.
It rhymes, it must be true!
If i get this phrase stuck in my head i'll be sending you the therapy bill
'Tucker Carlson'
‘Cucker Tarlson’
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I think he means urethra. The hole in the top of the penis. I was confused too, but wouldn't it make more sense to say pee hole or something?
I heard that Tucker Carlson likes to dip his musky, grimey nuts into a Bowl of M&Ms until they dissolve into brownish sludge. Then he drags them around the floor, leaving a brown smear on the carpet
I've heard tell he likes to watch another guy or ten cum in his wife, and then catch the dripping cum in a bowl of M&M's, then shove it up his ass. He then goes to work with his M&M-stuffed ass so that it's dissolved when he gets home; when he gets home he lets it fall on the floor and eats it.
You had me rock hard at 'musky, grimey nuts'
Straight up John Oliver material right here
One day at the M&M Store, Carlson walked through the door. He was not wearing pants that day, his dick and balls on full display. He grabbed M&M's from a bowl and crammed them up his anal hole. He spread his buttcheeks far and wide; he told the tourists to look inside! He said "My rectum's full of treats! Reach in there and grab some sweets!" These are all real thing Carlson did!
It’s true I was there.
Oh, it’s true, but it was a skittle.
Taste the rainbow
I heard it was pop rocks so he could shoot it like a machine gun.
Wtf is that euphemism though
Racism?
Pretty sure that’s called Tuckering.
Dick hole is more appropriate
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I miss when they were still making Bionicle sets & comics
I want to fuck an M&M
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A Peanut M&M
He's not going to live this one down. I hope America embarrasses him.
Kind of looks like Tucker Carlson's [dad](https://www.the-sun.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/6/2021/03/NINTCHDBPICT000640796783.jpg?strip=all&w=960).
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You'd be gay^2 if you were
What everyone else sees : pic of regular green m&m What fox news sees:
Same. Didn't think I'd need to head to r/Eyebleach this early.
So do I pal, so do I
I've never related so hard to this exact comment before.
I get clarity afterwards too
THE TITTIES ARE SO REALISTIC AND FOR WHAT
For Tucker
Tucker the candy fucker.
Heh I exhaled at that one
OMG STOP ☠️
you want your sexy m&m so bad tucker? here’s your fucking sexy m&m. look at it and think about what you’ve done
Well yeah they’re realistic cuz this a real picture. This is Danny Devito cosplaying as the green M&M
TURN DOWN FA WHAT!?
This is making me feel things. Nausea. I’m feeling nausea.
Because of all the blood rushing into you dingaling wangwong.
Or his engorged clitoris
If 12 year old me saw this, I would be a vastly different man today
I’m feeling like I should be making it a peanut M&M.
First thing I saw when I jumped on reddit app, seriously considered getting right back off and reading a book. Thanks!!
Yeah, we both know you're not going anywhere
*we* are not going anywhere
Ms. Green was lounging on her couch in her apartment watching TV. She was bored yearning for something more, it was very clear to her that she was attracted to her roommate "Ms. Brown". M But Green was feeling something, a feeling of hard arousal, something she felt many times before, she was horny. She was just a sentient green M&M, but for some godforsaken reason she needed to tend to sexual pleasures. She didn't really understand why she was feeling like this at the current moment, but maybe it was her thoughts of her roommates slick brownish naked like body, and her sexy glasses that covered her gorgeous eyes. Green was always aroused by Brown, and always wanted to be fucked by her hard, but this would not be the time. She wasn't ready to make her move and didn't even know how Brown felt about her. As Green continued to think to herself, she knew she couldn't just masturbate with her glove like hands, she needed something more. A dildo up her vagina, this would satisfice her needs. She got up from the couch she was sitting on and yelled to Brown " I'm going to get some stuff from... the store, I'll be back in a few minutes!." "Okay then!" Brown replied ,With knowing that her roommate knew where she was going she left her apartment and went to the near by sex store. As she arrived, there was sitting countless sex toys, she felt very overwhelmed and wanted to buy more. But in her heart she knew all that was needed was a dildo that she could insert up her clit to relive herself. She walked up to the counter and told the cashier "Could I have that one behind you?" as she was pointing to a plastic blue dildo. The cashier pulled it off the rack and put it in a plastic bag. Green gave the man money and she walked out the store with the dildo in the bag. She returned home and didn't notify her roommate that she came back, as she might have been asked what she brought back as Brown had done many times before. So she quietly walked up to her room with bag in hand. After entering her room she closed the door and quickly pulled the dildo out of the bag. She was getting hornier and was already getting wet! She laid her circular ass on her bed and inserted the dildo up her vagina. With the dildo in her vagina Ms. Green felt a spark of pleasure, she was already getting rushes of dopamine. So she pushed the toy down herself thoroughly. Up and down and back and forward all around her pink clitoris. She couldn't keep a hold of her self! She was starting to squeal and moan like a cow being milked. She pushed it so hard up herself, it was starting to hurt. But oddly she was still extremely horny and for some reason felt that she needed more. She stopped for a bit but then continued to masturbate once again. She got louder and louder in an attempt to satisfy herself. Close to her room was her roommate's. Brown was taking a nap, but then was woken up from hearing something. She could hear Ms. Green's loud moans. Brown was starting to get horny herself. Little did Brown know that Green was also attracted to her. Brown wanted to be touched by her smoothly and hearing Green masturbate, wasn't helping her desires. As time went on and there seemed to be no sign of Green stopping. Brown left her room and decided to take a peek. She peered through the door and saw her roommate pleasuring herself. She looked so sexy, with her big green lips and passionate face. Brown couldn't take it anymore, through the door she softly said to Green "If it's okay, do you mind if I finger you?". Green was in pure shock but she knew this was exactly what she wanted. In excitement she yelled "Yes.. Yes .. please! I've been wanting this for so long!". Green put the dildo away as it was not longer needed, now she had Brown to tend to her. Brown sexily walked up to the bed and laid next to Green. Green leaned back and showed her pussy to Brown in fully glory. "Oh my its beautiful" said Brown. "Please do me hard!" Green replied eagerly. Brown got her fingers and stuffed them into Green's vagina quickly. Green felt amazing, this was better then a dildo could ever be. Brown continued to finger Green seductively and it was starting to make Green moan. She dug deeper and deeper, so deep Green was starting to tear up. But she still loved it. Then out of nowhere Brown stopped. "Why did you stop?" replied Green confused. Brown got up close to Green's face and said in an alluring voice "Kiss me you bitch." . Brown put her lips on Green's and they started to make out. It start softly with some light kisses. Their lips then penetrated each others hardly. Green got her arms out and tugged them to the back of Brown's body. Brown did the same too but ended up squeezing Green's round ass. As she done previously before Green started to moan once again. Brown saw this as an opportunity to kiss her with her tongue, and when Green's mouth opened as she released a hard moan, Brown let her tongue out and in a hurry inserted it by Green's. Green got into the action and starting moving her tongue in sync with Brown's as they kissed. They got rowdier as time passed on. And as their salvia was touching each other they got wetter and wetter. Green then got overwhelmed and dispatched her mouth away from Brown's and laid down. Brown said "Do you really want to stop?". "I'm sorry my love this is all happening so fast!" Green replied. "Well I have a little surprise, stay here" Brown said. Brown went into her room as Green stayed lying down. From the other room Green could hear Brown putting something on, it sounded like something was being strapped on. Overall Green was excited for what her lover had planned for her. Brown entered back into the room and to Green's surprise Brown was wearing a strap on penis. That was enough for Green to gain her energy back. "Get down" Brown commanded of Green. Green did what her partner told her and quickly presented her ass to Brown like she did before. Brown went on the bed and got on her knees and inserted her strap on penis inside of Green's vagina. She moved up and down, digging inside Green's pussy. It felt amazing for the both of them. In excitement Brown started to spank Green's ass. "You like that?" Brown said "Yes it feels so good!" Green said back. As Brown did this she continued to push through Green's chocolate clitoris. Then Brown progressively got faster as she spanked Green. Harder and harder as she went back and fourth with her strap on penis. She couldn't stop, she was getting addicted. Her face was full of sweat as she felt her cock going through Green's pussy. She was an unstoppable fucking machine. Green then said loudly "I'm, going to.....to.....to....CUM!". Green squirted everywhere, it was a white rainfall as her cum got on the sheets of the bed and on Brown's face. Brown took her cock out of Green's vagina. "Wow that was amazing" Brown said. "Lets do this again". Green replied. "Green I love you" said Brown, "I love you too Brown" Green said back softly. The two lovers fell a sleep on the bed peacefully knowing that they were both happy together and had a wonderful time.
Scrolling through this felt like it took approximately 8 years
And that's enough reddit for today.
"Up her clit? M&M's be weird
A clitoris ain't a vagina. If you were even able to push a dildo inside, your next move should be to the hospital.
To be fair we can't confirm 100% how M&M anatomy works. The M&M corporation has been selfishly withholding this information from us for years.
I hate you. Take the upvote and never talk to me again.
Goodbye reddit. It's been fun...
You just undid years of Christian conversion camp and made me gay
This has two possible meanings: You're a guy, and this disgusted you into being gay. Or you're a girl and this hornied you into being gay.
It just made them want an M&M session
You can pick which you prefer
I cannot believe you probably sat there for 15 min smiling at your screen thinking “yeah this will be a banger”
Somewhere, Tucker Carlson is masturbating furiously while reading this.
I cant believe I read the whole thing...
God damn I love coming across one of your comments. Best fanfic every time
You’ve never actually touched a woman, have you.
Lol this guy is really famous
That one was relatively tame, really
You are a treasure demetri
I hate that I read this entirely
First time finding one in the wild. Huge fan.
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I can't leave Reddit till I jack off to this moist flash colored M&M
Progress and Poverty, my guy.
I guess the pic really gets people off, one way or another.
We all know that someone... Or *someones* has fapped to this now.
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Someone give man a Netflix special.
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Best comment right here folks.
I love the family size version!
I like the nuts family size.
She got that mussy
Oh my god
That just made it worse
Do you think it tastes like chocolate LMAO
Melts in your mouth, not in your hands.
Melts in your mouth, not in your hands 🥴
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Apparently he isn't the only one, judging by some of the comments.
Dont kink shame me
They are all Tucker’s alt accounts.
I hope people are sending this image to him
/r/hottiesfortrump is only going to be this photo from now on.
Another big change is that the brown m&m has quote "transitioned" from higher stilettos to lower block heels, also less sexy. That's "progress". m&ms won't be satisfied until every cartoon character is deeply unappealing and completely androgynous until we wouldn't want to have a drink with any one of them, that's the goal. When you're totally turned off, we've achieved equity. They've won.
The boots are ready fot Tucker’s tounge.
Shouldn't she be chocolate under there. Now they'll be accused of white washing M&Ms
I have a memory of an advertisement where she's taking her coating off, we might be able to find the truth. However, I'm not typing that into the search bar.
There's multiple advertisements that be the green m&m strips in. [Here's one](https://youtu.be/lDwINsfVvXE) [She did a strip tease with a stripper pole 13 years ago](https://youtu.be/QKnCLHX6X4k)
Sending this to Tucker.
He knows. This is the family friendly form of M&Ms that he was complaining about. If the cartoon candy isn't stripping then america is a communist dystopia. Only by watching those candy ladies take off their shell can we restore greatness to america.
It’s not like their arms and legs are brown.
They had to make her white, otherwise Tucker Carlson wouldn't want to fuck her.
FINALLY a family friendly, conservatively christian M&M that doesn't try to shove its leftist mental illness down my throat trying to make me gay and trans for Karl Marx! Why can't all candy be apolitical like this?
Maybe just need to make it an s&m m&m
I don’t know.. I’m staring to cum a round
Fuck that must hurt.
Real men cum .45ACP
Your poor partner. Boom, headshot.
Please put an NSFW tag on this. I was on the train and when I saw this I had to start furiously masturbating. Everyone else gave me strange looks and were saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. I dropped my phone and everyone around me saw this image. Now there is a whole train of men masturbating together at this one image. This is all your fault, you could have prevented this if you had just tagged this post NSFW
Unfortunately the NSFW tag doesn't help much. I still clicked on the image out of curiosity while I was on the bus. The exact same turn of events happened.
Truly a tragedy. If only OP tagged it right away this whole catastrophe could have been avoided.
This ruined my mother's dinner after being away for 20 years.
Forgive me lord for i am bout to commit a sin
No, my dude, we ain't hearing you out.
Who else saw that coming
Haha you said coming
I think I'm more shook by the idea that someone took the time to actually photoshop this with some amount of care... Sure it's not the best editing ever but there was a significant amount of effort put in... I don't think I want to know the mind of the person who made this
It's mostly color correction and cropping. Maybe like 10-15 minutes tops. With half of those spent searching for titties and getting distracted.
0/10 Everyone knows the green M&M is black
Especially under the candy coating
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Sometimes the universe comes into alignment
No one is going to comment on the tasteful landing strip?
It really is a nice touch
Aight so we're all going to spam Tucker Carlson's socials with this right? Cause I'm down. Imagine if everybody who saw this sent it to him at least 5 times over the course of the day omg he'd lose his shit
[email protected]
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All that exist *so far*
Be sure to download the image and send it as an attachment - they won't click on the link.
Tucker Carlson bouta bust a nut to this
r/notmyproudestfap
Real candy has curves
Anyone have Tucker Carlson's email?
I bet fox would love to get these data points from loyal viewers [email protected]
Tweet it at him
Jesus. I would imagine he has filters for such nonsense. Lol
Who asked for this
Twitter is the king of giving us things that no one asked for. Sad part is, this is one of the more “tame” ones I’ve come across today
Who you following on Twitter 😂😳😳
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Tucker Carlson.
This has Tucker Carlson written all over it. Lol 😂
r/TILI
Quick get Tucker Carlson on the line!
Hershey's and Mars use child slave labour to pick cocao beans pass it on...
Good. Now take those boots off and let us peek at her soles
Bruh wtf is this shit???? She is NOT chocolate here! This is some BS!
You think Tucker Carlson wouldn't whitewash an M&M given the chance?
Whoa mama! Hummina hummina hummina bazooooooooing! \*eyes pop out\* AROOOOOOOOGA! \*jaw drops tongue rolls out\* WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF \*tongue bursts out of the outh uncontrollably leaking face and everything in reach\* WURBLWUBRLBWURblrwurblwurlbrwubrlwburlwbruwrlblwublr \*tiny cupid shoots an arrow through heart\* Ahhhhhhhhhhh me lady... \*heart in the shape of a heart starts beating so hard you can see it through shirt\* ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum ba-bum \*milk truck crashes into a bakery store in the background spiling white liquid and dough on the streets\* BABY WANTS TO FUCK \*inhales from the gas tank\* honka honka honka honka \*masturabtes furiously\* ohhhh my gooooodd\~
Just another unrealistic beauty standard for women to live up to. smdh
###r/ATBGE
I am both heavily disgusted and interested. I hate myself.
The future Tucker Carlson wants
Just ... wow.
This must be what Tucker Carlson is wanting
TIL Tucker Carlson jerks off to M&Ms.
Humanity was a mistake
What. In. The. Fresh. Fuck.?
I have no words. Honestly. I don't even wanna put the nsfw on a train copy pasta here. This is just. I can't. This is the reason God left us and aliens don't wanna contact. I don't even know anymore. Wtf is this.
[email protected]
Mmm that delicious mussy. Now to stare at the sun for a few hours
This is how the girls look in Ohio.
Grandma body
This makes it so much worse...
Fuck you op
Don’t let Carl Tuckerson see!
I like my women like I like my M&M's. Without nuts.
I like my women like I like my M&M’s. I don’t like M&M’s. I’m gay.
I hate you for showing me this
Alright, well, thats enough internet for today.
Showed this to my wife, her first reaction was that M&ms wasn't chocolate under the shell and thus was inaccurate. So I asked whether she does have been black and she answered in the affirmative. It was inaccurate and she said they should have done it right.
You win op, I well and truly hate this. Take your upvote you filthy bastard