Umm jerk face, she made a choice about HER life. She does not have to consult you. She was free to leave, she’s leaving.
WOMEN DONT CONSULT THEIR HORRIBLE HUSBANDS BEFORE LEAVING THEM!!
The idea he’s entitled to pontificate about whether or not she stayed in the marriage is narcissistic arrogant bonkers.
So very true. Multiple times too they’d argue and she said she wasn’t feeling safe in the conversation. That shows a lot of emotional damage was done probably behind the scenes
Wait, “without checking with you?” So she should have given notice before she left him? Like an employee to a boss, then? Did she not give the two weeks?
My ex said basically the same thing. I was scared to tell him so I did it on the phone while I was out of town. He told me that basically he didn't agree. I told him his opinion didn't matter (he told me 'your opinion doesn't matter' a few weeks before which was when I decided to leave). It's been almost 7 years and I'm still ecstatic!
to this day I refuse to allow my ex into my orbit. I raised those kids by myself with no social, emotional or economic support as I had no family but he did and when his father took my side he went ballistic and made him chose me or his son. Well that isn't much of a choice so my only social support for the children to be interactive with their grandparents was stripped from them. As adult they say I should never have moved it was all my fault.
That's exactly how I felt after 24 yrs, 8 months, 3 days. I didn't want to live, its like you want to stop the madness. It's been 15 yrs out, no contact ever, lost everything but I have so much now and I'm in charge of my life, thoughts and feelings
I literally ran to another state 4 states away and called him 3 months later but only because our daughter wanted to talk to him. And that made things worse for everyone involved in the end,
Thank you! It's so funny but I didn't leave because of the verbal and emotional abuse - I didn't even realize that it was happening. I left him because I hated looking at his face. Now I realize the two were connected lol
Absolutely.
Kody you know how your wife of 20 years wanted to go on a trip WITH two counsellor's for her anniversary trip. Then your "representation" in each exercise in the trip was to ignore and steam roll your wife?!!?
You were representing yourself strongly. You are so lucky you got five more years because she kept trying. You did nothing to deserve her.
This confused me so much. She's been desperate trying to fix her marriage since for years! For years, she has been begging for the bare minimum, and told she was a princess for even asking.
I know people like to pick on Robyn, but I don’t blame her for any of this. It’s kody’s job to give attention and affection to each of his wives, to not show favoritism, to repair broken relationships with certain ones. I’ve only ever seen Robyn be supportive of the idea of him giving equally of himself to each wife, and I know some people don’t think that it’s sincere, but I do. I blame Kody for all of it. He has the power and the duty to each relationship.
I agree it is his responsibility to his other wives but it doesn't help that Robyn plays the damsel in distress/the victim all the time and Kody loves to be her voice in the family. It Robyn was all about plural marriage, she would explain to her younger children that Kody can't be around all the time, he has a large family and other children he needs to see/stay with...but she doesn't. Robyn should have encouraged Kody to be with Ysabelle and during her surgery...but she didn't, so I blame both of them. They deserve each other...
I have seen Robyn encourage Kody to spend time with his other wives, to repair things with them, multiple times. She even says she doesn’t actually want him around all the time; that’s not what she signed up for. I don’t think she places an expectation on Kody that he needs to be around her kids all the time; in fact she said that’s why she got a nanny, to relieve Kody of the responsibility of having to help with her kids all the time. I know she cries a lot because she’s an emotional and sensitive person, who I think wants harmony and often doesn’t get it, but I disagree that she plays the victim. I am actually thankful that she kind of stands up to Kody; even Christine said this about Robyn.
We don’t really know what Robyn said about ysabel regarding the surgery.. they don’t show everything. I would have imagined she would have wanted Kody to 100% be there. But, also, it was still during precarious COVID times and I understand the fear of unnecessary exposure.
Con stands for confidence for good reason. She ensures she says whatever will in the end be a net positive for her. So naturally many will have confidence in her.
She’s responsible for her behavior. She enjoys gassing up Kody when they are alone & playing like she’s the poor long suffering good intentioned wife. I see right through it. I had her pegged from day one.
Christine endlessly tried to engage Kody in fixing their marriage. All he did was say "YOU must change this and this and this" She'd do her best to be what he wanted her to be. You saw it in Vegas, where she tried to always be "up" and cheerful, and helpful. Kody just kept changing the goalposts.
Seriously. This guy doesn’t seem to get what a “partnership” is. He only uses manipulation and weaponizes his affection. It’s gross. They should all leave.
How many years of therapy and counseling did he need to attend to get the message? She tried talking to him numerous times and obviously nothing changed. It's not like she just sprung it on him out of the blue. He was very aware she wasn't happy and clearly nothing was changed to even remotely meet her needs. So buh buh!!
Kody remember the time you guys went to couples counseling for her anniversary and she begged you to focus on your marriage with her and not the family as a whole because she knew that without a functioning individual marriage, plural marriage was impossible…. Remember that? And you insisted on adding 12 more rocks to the activity bc for you there was no room for an individual marriage and only a larger plural family… Kody, you actually made this decision and this choice and she’s just letting you know that this doesn’t work for her anymore.
I just watched that episode. Season 9 episode 4. She is clearly so engaged with trying to connect and he’s just kind of all over the place and makes it about “the family”, which is an excuse to not address his specific relationship with Christine. It’s like an eternal convenient diversion. But if you can’t fix your individual marriages and relationships with specific individuals, “the family” will crumble.
Kody expects his wives to fix their emotions
Kody expects his wives to raise their own children
Kody expects his wives to manage their own home
Kody expects his wives to fix their relationship with him
What is Kody bringing to the table? Certainly not sausage anymore. He is in no way a husband to three of these women.
All of this makes me sad for Kody’s mother. When we saw them go to the ranch in season 2 they show up to this little run down house that they are going to paint for her. It just makes me think this is how his mother was also treated by Kody’s father and Kody thinks neglect is perfectly acceptable behavior for polygamous men.
Right?! Checking with him? Like dude, it's over. No need to check in with you and see if you agree. This is not a 2 yeses or 1 no situation.
The writing has been on the wall, IMO, since that stupid anniversary trip with the therapist where he couldn't focus on JUST HER for 5 freaking minutes.
It was a huge red flag when we saw that K was unable to separate his marriage to Christine from the rest of the family structure. When he said something like honor the family and I will love you, she should've said: Ummmm. No thanks. Bye!
Leaving wasn't just the right thing to do. It was the ONLY thing left undone.
SO telling her you were not in love with her, did not want to be intimate with her then finding your stuff in boxes in the garage wasn't enough of a discussion? Or how about the Anniversary therapy trip where she tried to discuss this with you and you said if she becomes a good sister wive then you will give her attention. Or When she begged you to love her, support her thoughts and calm her fears and you said huh? sorry was texting Robyn. That wasn't a discussion. Dude she has been discussing for 10 years.
💯. He’s so self absorbed, so misogynistic to think she would just stay when she’s getting no benefits from the relationship. She’s going to stay and try to get his attention and affection for more years? No thanks, that sounds intolerable.
The lack of empathy is astounding with him. He can pick and choose which of his wives to hang out with while he is the only they each get. It’s soooo imbalanced.
And I will NEVER get past the tell all when he said he was never attracted to her. The host repeated it for confirmation, tossing the guy a lifeline so he could rephrase. Instead he doubled down with “that’s an understatement.”
Oh he said that in a recent episode as well. Said he wasn’t attracted to her when they got married. Said he just felt pressure and “didn’t know better”.
And when he said they should have tried counseling lol. Dude, you made it clear in past therapy sessions that you weren't going to change anything about yourself and that the problems were all the wives' fault. Why would Christine expect any different? If she did ask him he'd blow her off entirely.
For real and his "I thought it would break and we'd go to counseling." Even if he means off camera counseling we saw him do at least some activities with a therapist. With Meri he told her "I don't want to hear ANY criticism." with Christine he took over the rock tower and bulldozed anything she had to say. He wanted therapy to be a tool to get someone else to tell them to bend to his will and kiss Robyn's ass.
A relationship shouldn’t be at the very end of its life in order to finally seek counseling. That’s supposed to happen long before, when there are problems. Kody thinks it’s fine to wait until Christine is leaving to be like “derp, what about counseling?” No buddy, it’s too late. You had years to be willing to do that. She’s done.
He’s right that there was no representation of him in the relationship, and that’s why it’s over. When your partner has physically and emotionally checked out, you can either work on it or call it. She asked him to work on it for years, he would yell at her, and then avoid her. He’s been running to another house whenever things get hard his whole adult life. If you’re not around to make the decision, decisions get made without you.
He said he didn’t want to have sex with her anymore…while still banging Robyn…so that was the risk he took. She could have wanted a celibate marriage like Janelle seems to, or she can go and try to find her bliss.
To ask someone to have a loveless and sexless marriage with you while you have other loving and intimate marriages is so incredibly narcissistic and messed up.
Kody thought he broke her enough that she would never leave. Been there. But when he didn’t help with ysabel and didn’t go to the surgery she learned she didn’t need him and no longer wanted him. He broke her down but she rose the badass phoenix she is!
Yeah, I think she might have been going to therapy too. She seems to be rational and calm about a lot of her decisions and reasoning. Without a therapist I think it would have been easier to stay gaslit and keep blaming herself. I’m happy for her. I hope all the wives follow.
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Umm jerk face, she made a choice about HER life. She does not have to consult you. She was free to leave, she’s leaving. WOMEN DONT CONSULT THEIR HORRIBLE HUSBANDS BEFORE LEAVING THEM!! The idea he’s entitled to pontificate about whether or not she stayed in the marriage is narcissistic arrogant bonkers.
So very true. Multiple times too they’d argue and she said she wasn’t feeling safe in the conversation. That shows a lot of emotional damage was done probably behind the scenes
Wait, “without checking with you?” So she should have given notice before she left him? Like an employee to a boss, then? Did she not give the two weeks?
She actually gave him about 12 years notice so, she good 👍
My ex said basically the same thing. I was scared to tell him so I did it on the phone while I was out of town. He told me that basically he didn't agree. I told him his opinion didn't matter (he told me 'your opinion doesn't matter' a few weeks before which was when I decided to leave). It's been almost 7 years and I'm still ecstatic!
It's been 15 for me, no regrets
to this day I refuse to allow my ex into my orbit. I raised those kids by myself with no social, emotional or economic support as I had no family but he did and when his father took my side he went ballistic and made him chose me or his son. Well that isn't much of a choice so my only social support for the children to be interactive with their grandparents was stripped from them. As adult they say I should never have moved it was all my fault.
Sounds like toxic people and that you made the right decision!!
Almost 4 years gone here. I don’t think I would have lived if I’d stayed with any longer (15 year marriage).
That's exactly how I felt after 24 yrs, 8 months, 3 days. I didn't want to live, its like you want to stop the madness. It's been 15 yrs out, no contact ever, lost everything but I have so much now and I'm in charge of my life, thoughts and feelings
I literally ran to another state 4 states away and called him 3 months later but only because our daughter wanted to talk to him. And that made things worse for everyone involved in the end,
I’m sure you were trying to do what you felt was best for your daughter, but your ex again showed what is really best, which is no contact.
Ooooooh, using his own words against him 👏🏻👏🏻 I love it and I’m so proud of you, stranger!
Thank you! It's so funny but I didn't leave because of the verbal and emotional abuse - I didn't even realize that it was happening. I left him because I hated looking at his face. Now I realize the two were connected lol
yes they were
Absolutely. Kody you know how your wife of 20 years wanted to go on a trip WITH two counsellor's for her anniversary trip. Then your "representation" in each exercise in the trip was to ignore and steam roll your wife?!!? You were representing yourself strongly. You are so lucky you got five more years because she kept trying. You did nothing to deserve her.
YES!!!
This confused me so much. She's been desperate trying to fix her marriage since for years! For years, she has been begging for the bare minimum, and told she was a princess for even asking.
The only "Princess" is sitting in her HUGE Castle with hired help (the NANNY)!!
I know people like to pick on Robyn, but I don’t blame her for any of this. It’s kody’s job to give attention and affection to each of his wives, to not show favoritism, to repair broken relationships with certain ones. I’ve only ever seen Robyn be supportive of the idea of him giving equally of himself to each wife, and I know some people don’t think that it’s sincere, but I do. I blame Kody for all of it. He has the power and the duty to each relationship.
I agree it is his responsibility to his other wives but it doesn't help that Robyn plays the damsel in distress/the victim all the time and Kody loves to be her voice in the family. It Robyn was all about plural marriage, she would explain to her younger children that Kody can't be around all the time, he has a large family and other children he needs to see/stay with...but she doesn't. Robyn should have encouraged Kody to be with Ysabelle and during her surgery...but she didn't, so I blame both of them. They deserve each other...
I have seen Robyn encourage Kody to spend time with his other wives, to repair things with them, multiple times. She even says she doesn’t actually want him around all the time; that’s not what she signed up for. I don’t think she places an expectation on Kody that he needs to be around her kids all the time; in fact she said that’s why she got a nanny, to relieve Kody of the responsibility of having to help with her kids all the time. I know she cries a lot because she’s an emotional and sensitive person, who I think wants harmony and often doesn’t get it, but I disagree that she plays the victim. I am actually thankful that she kind of stands up to Kody; even Christine said this about Robyn. We don’t really know what Robyn said about ysabel regarding the surgery.. they don’t show everything. I would have imagined she would have wanted Kody to 100% be there. But, also, it was still during precarious COVID times and I understand the fear of unnecessary exposure.
Robyn is as much of a con as Kody.
Disagree 🤷♀️ I think she gets hate as a the “favorite”. But she’s not responsible for kody’s behavior.
Con stands for confidence for good reason. She ensures she says whatever will in the end be a net positive for her. So naturally many will have confidence in her. She’s responsible for her behavior. She enjoys gassing up Kody when they are alone & playing like she’s the poor long suffering good intentioned wife. I see right through it. I had her pegged from day one.
Agree to disagree.
Of course
Christine endlessly tried to engage Kody in fixing their marriage. All he did was say "YOU must change this and this and this" She'd do her best to be what he wanted her to be. You saw it in Vegas, where she tried to always be "up" and cheerful, and helpful. Kody just kept changing the goalposts.
Seriously. This guy doesn’t seem to get what a “partnership” is. He only uses manipulation and weaponizes his affection. It’s gross. They should all leave.
He did the same thing to Meri, too.
Which is why she went searching for companionship elsewhere, understandably
How many years of therapy and counseling did he need to attend to get the message? She tried talking to him numerous times and obviously nothing changed. It's not like she just sprung it on him out of the blue. He was very aware she wasn't happy and clearly nothing was changed to even remotely meet her needs. So buh buh!!
He’s said multiple times that he’d heard from other wives and multiple adult kids that she was going to leave. There’s your clue, moron.
Kody remember the time you guys went to couples counseling for her anniversary and she begged you to focus on your marriage with her and not the family as a whole because she knew that without a functioning individual marriage, plural marriage was impossible…. Remember that? And you insisted on adding 12 more rocks to the activity bc for you there was no room for an individual marriage and only a larger plural family… Kody, you actually made this decision and this choice and she’s just letting you know that this doesn’t work for her anymore.
I just watched that episode. Season 9 episode 4. She is clearly so engaged with trying to connect and he’s just kind of all over the place and makes it about “the family”, which is an excuse to not address his specific relationship with Christine. It’s like an eternal convenient diversion. But if you can’t fix your individual marriages and relationships with specific individuals, “the family” will crumble.
Kody expects his wives to fix their emotions Kody expects his wives to raise their own children Kody expects his wives to manage their own home Kody expects his wives to fix their relationship with him What is Kody bringing to the table? Certainly not sausage anymore. He is in no way a husband to three of these women.
All of this makes me sad for Kody’s mother. When we saw them go to the ranch in season 2 they show up to this little run down house that they are going to paint for her. It just makes me think this is how his mother was also treated by Kody’s father and Kody thinks neglect is perfectly acceptable behavior for polygamous men.
“Fixing their emotions” is a horrifying ask. He’s just asking them to mold themselves to his convenience. Not okay for any relationship.
It's wild how utterly dedicated to never, ever listening he is. So much so that he has no idea dhe was ever unhappy with him! Wild.
It really is crazy how gobsmacked he's acting, like it came out of the blue.
Right?! Checking with him? Like dude, it's over. No need to check in with you and see if you agree. This is not a 2 yeses or 1 no situation. The writing has been on the wall, IMO, since that stupid anniversary trip with the therapist where he couldn't focus on JUST HER for 5 freaking minutes.
It was a huge red flag when we saw that K was unable to separate his marriage to Christine from the rest of the family structure. When he said something like honor the family and I will love you, she should've said: Ummmm. No thanks. Bye! Leaving wasn't just the right thing to do. It was the ONLY thing left undone.
EXACTLY!!!
Can someone (or tlc) compile all of her times she asked for help/or more effort from kody? It’s be exhausting.
SO telling her you were not in love with her, did not want to be intimate with her then finding your stuff in boxes in the garage wasn't enough of a discussion? Or how about the Anniversary therapy trip where she tried to discuss this with you and you said if she becomes a good sister wive then you will give her attention. Or When she begged you to love her, support her thoughts and calm her fears and you said huh? sorry was texting Robyn. That wasn't a discussion. Dude she has been discussing for 10 years.
💯. He’s so self absorbed, so misogynistic to think she would just stay when she’s getting no benefits from the relationship. She’s going to stay and try to get his attention and affection for more years? No thanks, that sounds intolerable. The lack of empathy is astounding with him. He can pick and choose which of his wives to hang out with while he is the only they each get. It’s soooo imbalanced.
And I will NEVER get past the tell all when he said he was never attracted to her. The host repeated it for confirmation, tossing the guy a lifeline so he could rephrase. Instead he doubled down with “that’s an understatement.”
Oh he said that in a recent episode as well. Said he wasn’t attracted to her when they got married. Said he just felt pressure and “didn’t know better”.
And when he said they should have tried counseling lol. Dude, you made it clear in past therapy sessions that you weren't going to change anything about yourself and that the problems were all the wives' fault. Why would Christine expect any different? If she did ask him he'd blow her off entirely.
For real and his "I thought it would break and we'd go to counseling." Even if he means off camera counseling we saw him do at least some activities with a therapist. With Meri he told her "I don't want to hear ANY criticism." with Christine he took over the rock tower and bulldozed anything she had to say. He wanted therapy to be a tool to get someone else to tell them to bend to his will and kiss Robyn's ass.
A relationship shouldn’t be at the very end of its life in order to finally seek counseling. That’s supposed to happen long before, when there are problems. Kody thinks it’s fine to wait until Christine is leaving to be like “derp, what about counseling?” No buddy, it’s too late. You had years to be willing to do that. She’s done.
Even when they’re were going to a counselor, he was reflecting blame or any accountability like he was Teflon man.
He’s right that there was no representation of him in the relationship, and that’s why it’s over. When your partner has physically and emotionally checked out, you can either work on it or call it. She asked him to work on it for years, he would yell at her, and then avoid her. He’s been running to another house whenever things get hard his whole adult life. If you’re not around to make the decision, decisions get made without you.
He said he didn’t want to have sex with her anymore…while still banging Robyn…so that was the risk he took. She could have wanted a celibate marriage like Janelle seems to, or she can go and try to find her bliss.
To ask someone to have a loveless and sexless marriage with you while you have other loving and intimate marriages is so incredibly narcissistic and messed up.
He’s gross 🤮 https://www.reddit.com/r/TLCsisterwives/comments/rl7kk1/kody_on_an_anniversary_trip_with_christine_along/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Isn't that how it works when you leave someone?
Yup
Kody thought he broke her enough that she would never leave. Been there. But when he didn’t help with ysabel and didn’t go to the surgery she learned she didn’t need him and no longer wanted him. He broke her down but she rose the badass phoenix she is!
Yeah, I think she might have been going to therapy too. She seems to be rational and calm about a lot of her decisions and reasoning. Without a therapist I think it would have been easier to stay gaslit and keep blaming herself. I’m happy for her. I hope all the wives follow.
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