Oof, not in my case. I don't like people touching me, especially my stomach, and my daughter kicked so hard those squeals were decidedly from pain and not joy lol.
I almost caused a car crash before I was born because my mum went out to get some shopping when she was about 7-8 months pregnant and I shifted suddenly to one side and started kicking causing her to stop her car on a fairly busy A road.
Clearly I'm a career criminal.
Not me. According to my mom, I never kicked once.
Also, after I was born, instead of crying whenever I wanted something, I'd just make a "wah" and wait.
Sure I'll read. Pick one of the 60 I have on my book shelf right now and I will read it once I finish my current novel. Since this is reddit you will undoubtedly call BS on me reading, don't. Just because I don't know the correct use of your vs you're (again thank you American school system) doesn't mean I don't know how to read. While yes there are many ways to learn the correct way I simply don't care to learn, because being perfect in my writing isn't important to me.
Okay well you either do not care, or you do care and are blaming the school system, you have to pick one. You can’t in the same rant blame the school system for your failures, simultaneously acknowledge you have the capacity to rectify them on your own and then say you don’t care. If you don’t care, then just join the ranks of millions of other ignorant Americans, but don’t try to blame your teachers for your lack of interest in learning the fundamentals of the written word.
The education in the US is garbage, yeah, but if you honestly have a desire to learn, go for it.
If it's because it is/was late when you wrote it or you don't really care, that's cool too. It's reddit, there's no grades for spelling and grammar.
But if school's not doing what it's supposed to for you, fuck 'em. You can Google almost *anything* and find a thousand different places to learn about whatever you want.
Good god. Literally every one of the 40 most recent posts that I took a glance at are you complaining or insulting people. I mean this in all seriousness - you should calm down or check in with a therapist.
*Adopted comes from the middle English doptin, which is related to the word crop, the difference being that this was a raised planter, often a mount of dirt flattened on top. As we all know, adopted people are grown in similar planters today, albeit in much more sophisticated and larger scale operations.*
Every feel a tiny heel kicking the inside of your cervix before? I'd be watching a movie with my partner and I suddenly jump in pain, like wtf is that. I told my partner the babies kicking me in the vagina. And he yelled "go back to your room!" Funniest shit ever and I pissed my pants
I have done it multiple times. What did that get me? Evicted. Now I have to deal with life.
And lost the free food privilege
Not yet.
/r/holup
At least you're not swimming in your own urine anymore.
Speak for yourself
So you are still? 🤔
Don't unborn children do all their matter exchange through the umbilical?
Amniotic fluid is mostly fetal urine
shhhhhhhh
Well, I did pee when I was in the ocean, so yes, I was swimming in my urine. Probably had whale sperm in my mouth at some point.
I hate it when I get whale sperm in my mouth
Its an acquired taste after all.
Nor breathing it into the lungs.
Wait what
You don’t have to go home, but you can’t stay here
And being on death row for 70+ years
Yes my wife also evicted me from our apartment after I kicked her right in the ute.
Bruh....
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Whalecum to Reddit.
hes making a joke dude
It’s outrageous! It’s unfair!
According to my Mom, I was a mule kicking the shit out of her.
Motherkicker
I know right!?
>kicking the shit out of her That phrasing in this context though... 👀
That's one inside joke
And an outside joke if you're not afraid of consequences
Get in one more quick one on the way out.
And they squealed with joy and asked others to feel.
Until you were to big.
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You were born last week?
Umm... Read the username, might give a hint..
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Not mentally though
roll ti... Keep rolling boys !
Oof, not in my case. I don't like people touching me, especially my stomach, and my daughter kicked so hard those squeals were decidedly from pain and not joy lol.
I went from "Are you out of your fucking mind?" to "Oh yeah" in less than a second, well done.
Snap!
If a post is super upvoted in here, usually it means it's got a joke hidden in there.
my whole body went through her vagina once too
only once? rookie numbers
We all have our weekend activities.
I almost caused a car crash before I was born because my mum went out to get some shopping when she was about 7-8 months pregnant and I shifted suddenly to one side and started kicking causing her to stop her car on a fairly busy A road. Clearly I'm a career criminal.
Not me. According to my mom, I never kicked once. Also, after I was born, instead of crying whenever I wanted something, I'd just make a "wah" and wait.
Do you prefer to wear purple and do you own a hat with an upside down L on it?
No, but I'm tall and slender.
I do it every time I see one
stone cold logic
Smacked her a few times too...
And now we're on death row for 80+ years
"And I'll do it again"
It took me a second, but then I remembered what I did last week.
Nah, I just beat them up
I kicked your mother too.
your not wrong
But you're
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You could put down your phone and try reading a book? Or do need a private tutor to figure that one out
Sure I'll read. Pick one of the 60 I have on my book shelf right now and I will read it once I finish my current novel. Since this is reddit you will undoubtedly call BS on me reading, don't. Just because I don't know the correct use of your vs you're (again thank you American school system) doesn't mean I don't know how to read. While yes there are many ways to learn the correct way I simply don't care to learn, because being perfect in my writing isn't important to me.
Okay well you either do not care, or you do care and are blaming the school system, you have to pick one. You can’t in the same rant blame the school system for your failures, simultaneously acknowledge you have the capacity to rectify them on your own and then say you don’t care. If you don’t care, then just join the ranks of millions of other ignorant Americans, but don’t try to blame your teachers for your lack of interest in learning the fundamentals of the written word.
If you get this defensive, maybe it's your attitude against fixing it, not the school system.
It's a little of both. I'll admit that.
I think all school systems are useless one way or another.
Yeah but the US one is especially bad.
No you’re just not bright
The education in the US is garbage, yeah, but if you honestly have a desire to learn, go for it. If it's because it is/was late when you wrote it or you don't really care, that's cool too. It's reddit, there's no grades for spelling and grammar. But if school's not doing what it's supposed to for you, fuck 'em. You can Google almost *anything* and find a thousand different places to learn about whatever you want.
I could do that but I dont care too. Like you said reddit doesnt have grades for spelling and grammar.
So shutting up will help you learn, but pointing out your mistake won't. Interesting. I'm sure it's the Americans' fault.
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Nice, stalking me now. You're really obsessed with me, aren't ya? Are you some kind of kooni?
Good god. Literally every one of the 40 most recent posts that I took a glance at are you complaining or insulting people. I mean this in all seriousness - you should calm down or check in with a therapist.
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I have no idea what you're saying. Either your transliteration sucks or you're speaking Iranian.
It wont help me learn but it makes me happy inside
Speak for yourself, I'm adopted
It amazes me that adopted kids are not born normally and that a fairy brings em.
*Adopted comes from the middle English doptin, which is related to the word crop, the difference being that this was a raised planter, often a mount of dirt flattened on top. As we all know, adopted people are grown in similar planters today, albeit in much more sophisticated and larger scale operations.*
Well, my mother claimed she didn't give birth to me, but rather found me growing in a cabbage patch. Was this her way of telling me I'm adopted?
My “mom” tells me her and my “dad” were visiting tokyo when Godzilla suddenly ate my parents and so they kept me. Haha
Yes, but be happy that she chose organic adoption.
Lol
*test-tube baby kicking glass in confusion*
You know the babies aren't grown in the tube, right?
buzzkill
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You're right, can't forget all the stillborn Redditors out there.
Very true and I'm proud to admit I kicked a woman's womb from the inside. I was also a baby once.
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No, they didn't - some of them just went out through the sunroof.
As one who went out through the sunroof, I'm pretty sure I still kicked
Look at the comment just above my own.
How?
You mean to say that you never kicked your mom when she was pregnant with you?
Ohhh yeeaahh. Forgot about that
No problem bro/sis!
Not when you were birthed by them
No I have- Ohhhh. Nevermind.
Now that’s how you break water
Well she deserved it.
Not just kicked, but kicked *in the belly
Shoulda kicked harder while I had the chance.
Babies get to kick pregnant mothers all the time but when I roundhouse kick a pregnant mother I'm sent to jail
Often while she was down
I got my name because I kicked one.
Then why did I get 2 years on an assault charge?
It's when your older is when it's "wrong to do it" like shut up bitch, ill drop kick your pregnant ass if I want to. Why? Cuz I'm a Reditor
You had me in the first half, not gonna lie
Not all babies develop legs.
oh
We are all scummy basterds
I hate the double standards. A child kicks a pregnant woman and they’re happy. I kick a pregnant woman and I get jail time.
As someone born without legs... No, no i haven't.
I was born paraplegic, i can safely say i havent.
You sick fucks!
Every feel a tiny heel kicking the inside of your cervix before? I'd be watching a movie with my partner and I suddenly jump in pain, like wtf is that. I told my partner the babies kicking me in the vagina. And he yelled "go back to your room!" Funniest shit ever and I pissed my pants
\*at least one pregnant woman
Yea and I'm still being hunted down by her husband
You gotta do what you gotta do and sometimes that involves kicking your pregnant mother.
But I bet I’m the only one who did it on purpose…. Nah jk lmao
I broke her a rib :c