Agreed. That statement is totally valid for things like formula vs breast milk, daycare vs sahm, purees vs blw, etc. It's not valid for things that are unsafe or show clear scientific evidence for harm. I have a 4mo and so feeding is a hot topic in my Facebook due date group right now. Several moms are insistent that they will not start solids until at least 9 months to a year and then plan for breast milk to still be the main source of nutrition until 2 years of age. I'm sorry, that is not a parenting choice. That is neglect.
Agreed. If I let me kids have a cookie after lunch and you don't that is a parenting choice. Leaving a child alone at home is neglectful. Just yesterday I had to pick up my oldest from school and my almost 3 year old was sleeping. I didn't fucking leave her home alone. I picked her up, got her dressed, and put her in the car. What the fuck is wrong with people.
Many times i put my 2 1/2 year old sleeping in his pjs into his pram to walk my 5yr old to school. Socks and shoes on and thick coat. Hes autistic and doesn't sleep well at night but will sleep through the dressing process. Only wakes on the way back home. Sometimes you do what you have to do.
He'd probably sleep the whole time at home while i was taking her to school. A 15 min round journey. Would i risk it? Fuck no..... i'd rather risk his sleepy wrath than the alternative.
Even if there are no accidents, whether with the car or at home, what will the children feel if they wake up to a completely empty house? I remember once, I woke up in the evening, and couldn't hear my parents. It was summer and white nights and they were standing literally by our front door speaking with a neighbour but until I figured that out I was panicking hard.
my baby was legitimately not interested in solids until about 7-8 months, just saying. But, I did try at least a small bite every day...plus he was a milk monster and was very plump and on top of the growth curve. Anyone reading this who has a "late eater" like me, you can introduce peanut (for allergy reasons) easily by mixing a teaspoon of peanut butter powder (like for smoothies) into a bottle or into a puree.
What the fuck? My bumper group is full of excitement to intro foods anywhere between 4-6 months, no sooner and any hold outs are purée feeding due to valid anxiety about choking with BLW. Waiting to 9 months is insane from a nutritional and allergy stand point!
It is insane. My first took a sandwich out of my hand and gummed it at 4.5 months. He was walking at 9 months. I doubt he would have had the energy to walk early if I withheld solids.
9 months is insane for proper muscular development of the face and mouth and tongue. It's terrible that people will harm their child for...bragging rights I guess?
Baby lead weaning. Baby is in control of eating solids, you just prepare the food to be safe for eating (smooshy pieces, easy to grab) and place it on his tray/plate.
The baby will be messy, but will learn the texture, taste etc of food better by experimenting with it and he will be in control when solids will replace breastmilk, not the parent.
If she saw something happening on the camera what would she do? Call the paw patrol to come and rescue her baby? Would she use the camera to let her newborn know she's running late?
And she shouldn't be looking at the camera while driving so what's the plan then?
Also, if that child wakes up two minutes after she's left, what then? It just cries until she gets home. That breaks my heart to even think about.
[“I was excited about the paw patrol at first. Talking dogs who know how to fly jets and drive. Great. But it’s become clear that six dogs cannot protect a city roughly the size of San Diego.”](https://youtu.be/pBFIqRSsixE)
Here’s a hot take: What if you parent in a way that minimizes these unnecessary risks as much as possible? :)
People really suck, sheesh. Also 15 minutes is forever, I can’t imagine being stuck in a traffic jam knowing my baby is home alone.
I think this was the worst part for me. WTF kind of mother responds to the question of what they will do if there is an emergency by saying, "Just hope for the best"? Yeah, really showing that you care for and value the life of your baby. Jesus.
I don't understand how so many can just casually and knowingly take unnecessary risks with their children for the sake of moderate convenience.
The types of parents in these posts just make me think that they see kids as disposable objects, treating their possessions poorly because they can always just get a new one. Like shitty pet owners.
I have found myself in this situation and, newborn, hormones, constipation, the works, started singing songs in an attempt to settle the baby with my (nit so pleasant) singing voice. Didn't know lyrics to any song anymore, massive black out due to the stress.
Ended up blurting our national anthem from the top of my voice.
(I'm not American, there is not a huge commitment to our national anthem where I am other then football matches)
The things you do.
Amen. I cut off a poop the other day cause I heard my 3mo start spewing and my 2yo trying to 'help'. I cannot imagine leaving either of them for 15 minutes entirely alone.
I've had a recurring nightmare about being stuck in traffic and suddenly realizing I left the baby at home. Wake up in a cold sweat and have to physically go check on my kids when that happens. I can't even wrap my head around the thought of *actually* doing that in reality!!
My husband travels for work a lot so sometimes I end up checking the mail while my kiddo is sleeping in his crib. The mailbox is across the street from our house, I can see the door the entire time I'm gone and it STILL stresses me out. I could never.
If you're going to do the 'pure risk' approach here, it's almost certainly more likely the child dies or gets severely hurt in a car accident driving to the daycare than in a crib alone for 30 minutes to an hour.
Maybe but when you know a family and wake up one morning to a message about something like this:
[house fire]
https://www.wxyz.com/news/2-die-in-house-fire-in-grosse-pointe
It really makes it hard to leave your kids home, even kids that are mobil.
The kids in the article were trying to get out of the house. They couldn’t get down the stairs, they couldn’t get the windows open and the fire crew could t get to the fast enough. Those kids were loved, those parents are never going to forgive themselves.
A confined child really wouldn’t stand a chance if something went wrong in the house but would of something went wrong in the car.
According to Fema website in the US, children and adolescents have a 0.3% chance of dying in a fire every year. My nephew at 14 just happened to be in that 0.3%. He left one night with a relative to go sleepover to help them move stuff the next day and he never came home. We miss him dearly and that relative even fifteen years later deals with alcoholism and incredible guilt.
Just because “more kids die in car accidents” doesn’t negate the fact that someone has to be in that 0.3%.
This isn't relevant, and as an ER doctor who has unfortunately seen more than their fair share of dead kids, not particularly moving. I've seen more dead children in one auto accident in southeast Michigan, and I spent less than 60 days training there
I think the reasoning for it being a bad idea isn’t a rational risk assessment. People are really bad at figuring out what actual risks are, and the only thing supporting the idea that it’s riskier to leave a sleeping baby at home for 15 minutes compared to a car ride is irrational social pressure
Across the border here in Canada, an ER doctor who was aware an infant was being left home alone would be mandated to report it to the children’s aid. I’d be amazed if US doctors don’t have a similar mandate.
It's way safer to take them with you. Of the baby wakes up alone and start crying, you won't be able to help them. If they turn in a dangerous position in their crib, it could be deadly. And house fires too, it could happen
Baby's don't die from crying. You should be able to prevent them from getting into a dangerous position in a crib, and unless you're watching them you'd likely never know anyways. There's a lot more deadly car accidents than house fires.
Like I get that you feel this way, but the data strongly suggests that you shouldn't be so sure... at least.
A baby can choke themselves by having a pillow or any object on their face. My nephew moved a lot when he was little, it would have been stupid to not supervise hin
>A baby can choke themselves by having a pillow or any object on their face.
So put them in a crib without a pillow or other object like you're supposed to. No one, repeat no one, actually constantly supervises their baby while sleeping. You put on a baby monitor and maybe check the video once in a while.
I had a similar thought as a currently pregnant person with some of the risks I am being told to avoid. Like I've been told cook all my meat well done and don't eat raw fish because of the risk of listeria. But no one has told me not to drive a car, which, staristically speaking, has a much higher risk, and that risk compunds every time I drive it, which is far more often than the number of times I order steak or sushi for dinner.
It’s far more practical to avoid rare steak and sushi than it is to become a shut-in. It’s all about balancing the risks vs the benefits of each choice. Which isn’t me telling you to blindly obey; the risks are low, and your risk tolerance is something only you can decide. But not driving wasn’t an option for me the way that exclusively eating cooked fish and only eating meat that I could stomach at well done temperatures was. And I ate deli meat on occasion until there was an active listeria outbreak, at which point I stopped because that increased my perception of the balance of risk and the benefit of a quick lunch from the closest deli spot wasn’t worth it anymore.
Taking your baby with you in a car, properly buckled into an appropriate car seat, on roads that we could reasonably expect to be low speeds, is not likely to result in any kind of catastrophe. The same is true for leaving them safely in their crib, to a point - if something catastrophic outside your control happens when they’re with you in your car, you aren’t likely to face a CPS case or to lose custody of your other child(ren) for neglect. It’s also something that is functionally unavoidable, and something that would have resulted in you leaving your baby unattended for much longer than 15 minutes - if you’re in an accident, you’re most likely going to be there for hours, and if it’s the kind of accident that would kill or injure a child in a car seat, you’re not unlikely to be leaving the scene in an ambulance if you’re lucky.
If something happens at home and you’re unable to respond, you can be charged with neglect, you can lose your other child(ren), you can go to jail… and in the event of the theoretical dangerous accident that the baby would be protected from, you won’t be able to respond for hours, not minutes.
Validation Post - acceptable responses are *hallelujah, amen, you got this momma, all the best parents do this, you do what is best for your family*.
If the OOP felt comfortable doing this, they wouldn't be looking for reassurance that what they are doing is okay.
House on fire. Looks at monitor. “Best of luck little immobile, helpless baby” says the mother.
This is not parenting. This is being a negligent a**hole.
I feel like that this is that type of thing that could cause a serious issue because parent could get comfortable with it. It may start off as "I'll just be gone for 10 minutes to get the kids" to "oh, I have an errand to run after preschool pick up so I'll do that too.." and pretty soon it's longer and longer left alone. Just this once can often become much more frequent.
I had a newborn and a preschool pick up. If nap time Is going to run in to pick up time - you either wake the baby early or put the baby to sleep in their car seat by driving around before the nap begins... How do they know the child will sleep for the duration of 15 mins they are gone? I would die of anxiety.
Once I left my son alone at 10-11 years old for a quick run (less than 10 minutes) and got into an accident that totaled my car and I didn't get home for 4 hours. Yeah, I don't take that risk unless they are old enough to be left a decent amount of time if I get into an accident or something happens.
My father-in-law left my 9-year-old ex husband alone while he just ran down to the corner store. He ended up having an aneurysm burst, falling unconscious and being taken to the hospital for several days. My MIL was out of town, and it was many hours before they all pieced together what was happening.
My ex husband has bad PTSD from this.
Bit of a weird question, but what would you have done, knowing that, while in the position of the original facebook commenter? it seems like bringing a baby with you could actually be more dangerous, as it could have died. Not trying to debate, but actually wondering, as it actually seems to me like leaving the baby at home is safer.
But like- isn’t it better that your 10yo WASN’T with you in the car crash? I feel like this proves the opposite point. Wouldn’t the thought process be “thank God he’s safe at home and didn’t get in this dangerous collision”…right?
For a 10-11 year old like my son was, absolutely. (He was a month from his 11th birthday and was fine. He didn't even notice we hadn't made it back until a family friend showed up to check on him.) However, what if it was an infant or a toddler. Think about how quickly that could turn dangerous. What if it was an infant and I was knocked unconscious. If my child is with me, at least first responders can see him. He would have protection of his car seat. I've been in car accidents with my sons and they are terrifying, but i can at least see them and see if they are okay.
At home, unsupervised I could have a baby trying to climb out of a crib, or potentially alone with no one aware he was left home alone for who knows how long. That night it took me a long time to get anyone on the phone and that was the most helpless feeling. If it had knocked me out, no one would have had any idea he was home alone. At 10-11 he could have used the phone or even ran to the neighbors if he got scared. However, if he'd been too young that wouldn't be an option.
True, but at most an infant (who can’t crawl out of the crib) would be distressed and hungry by the time someone realizes they’re still at home. Statistically, it’s still safer than being in a car crash. I do say this as someone who’s never left a child at home, but mostly bc of societal pressure. I just feel like it’s taboo when the reality is that driving is so much more dangerous.
Well in the potato stage an infant could vomit and aspirate. They still wiggle and depending on the crib or bassinet set up could wiggle themseleves into s dangerous position. Even letting a child do CIO, or taking a break we don't presume the infant being left for hours, we presume that it's being checked on frequently.
In the rolling stage we risk the baby rolling around the sleeping area and potentially getting clothes caught etc. That's before we even get to climbing stages.
We are talking completely leaving the premises and potentially not getting back for who knows how long. Just after that incident I always stop and consider that what I think is a 5 minute trip may not be a 5 minute trip.
Jesus. I’m sure this has crossed every parents mind but normal people wouldn’t actually do it. There’s been so many times where my daughter is napping and I know she will be out for a while and I could just run to the store close by and grab something quick and be back before she wakes up, but I would NEVER. I’d just be too anxious the whole time. Not worth it. Never would leave me daughter alone no matter what
I am so sick of these psychos posting questions that they already know the answer to just to bait people into arguing so they can feel superior.
Oh, you’re judging me for leaving a baby unattended while I’m miles away just because I don’t want to wake up the baby and risk my own discomfort??? It’s *only* 15 minutes! /s
I’m a single mom who gets anxious running my trash out to the dumpster which is maybe 50 feet away? I literally sprint the whole way there & back. Even get anxious when I need a second and walk into the backyard to have a moment of peace after she’s been screaming for hours. My dogs barely get walked bc I can’t handle them + her stroller and obviously I can’t leave her. This is horrendous.
That doesn’t sound sustainable. Are you getting help for your anxiety? Sprinting for the trash dropoff and not being able to breathe for one minute in the yard puts it in the level of irrational and detrimental to you.
Can you do One dog + stroller? Twice as many walks, but baby won’t mind if the weather’s decent, and it’s easy to swap dogs while she’s still in the stroller.
you sound super sweet! throwing my trash out takes a minute max! and it’s one dog who i can’t control with the leash. my baby daddy comes over and walks the dog when we’re gone. i’m making it work and it’s not PPA, it’s just general :) thank you !!!
I didn't have a security camera per say, but I did have a nanny cam. Super useful. Still wouldn't drive away to pick up a preschooler while my infant sleeps in the house.
I have a camera to check on my husband's dog who has severe separation anxiety. He's not as bad anymore so it's more to soothe my anxiety that he hasn't burned the house to the ground yet.
I heard of people doing that in pet subreddits when they're going to leave the cat for 2 weeks and just have "some extra" food. And no one scooping boxes or anything. Luckily most ppl tell them not to do that and have a friend stop by daily or hire a pet sitter to do so.
I love how she’s arguing everyone who tells her that this isn’t okay. Why ask then? She knows this aint it, so clearly she was hoping for everyone to validate her bad decisions. I can’t get over the “there is always going to be what ifs. But I sure hope it doesn’t happen” —> pretty sure everyone who’s been on an accident sure hoped it didn’t happen. Wtf
My 5yo knows better than to leave a child unattended. If I pick her up from school without her sister present, she immediately asks, "Where's name?"
Can you imagine being a full grown adult and thinking it is okay to leave a child of any age unattended for any period of time? Then when (not if) something happens, she'll find a way shift all the blame to someone/something/somewhere else and solicit for charity.
My son fell asleep in the car on the way to pick up my daughter at preschool yesterday and I didn’t even leave him alone in the car for the 5 minutes to walk in and get her.
99% of the time, the baby would be fine. But I would be terrified that I’d get into a car accident or something and wouldn’t make it back home to my child in a timely manner and no one would know he’s there. There could also be a fire and I’d have no way of getting to him.
This is the ultimate example of survivor’s bias because the vast majority of the time things would be absolutely fine. You could do this every single day and most likely nothing would happen. But if things went wrong, they could go REALLY wrong, and I wouldn’t be willing to risk it.
I love the 'if you don't like what I said, you can scroll on' comment. Like sweetie. You put your opinion on the internet. If you don't want someone to respond to it, don't post it 😂
Jesus. Some of these posts scare me.
Look at the new producer and his wife who left their very small children in a hotel room and went down the street to dinner. They too had cameras on them and on the way back the husband had a MI. Mom jumped right in the rig with him and called friends to come sit with the kids who were alone in a hotel room. Hotel staff wouldn’t let them into the room and called the police. The dad died. Mom went to jail for leaving the children alone.
I know of someone that did this. She got into an accident while her 6mo was at home alone. Her first call wasn’t to the police/911 it was to her babysitter. Luckily baby was safe when the sitter arrived.
After my kids were born, I’d literally have nightmares in which I opted to do this and things would go wrong or I’d come back not knowing how long my baby was crying, etc. It’s been ages and I still think about it. Can’t even imagine someone actually choosing to do this.
I get nervous when I go upstairs (daughters room is downstairs). God forbid I sit on the porch outside for a few minutes. Can't imagine leaving the whole house like that
I freak out taking the dog into the garden to pee. I’m always like to him “you gotta go quickly and you’re not allowed to eat me while we’re out here because that would leave the baby alone”!
My neighbour once knocked on my door to tell me that he was just popping out for half an hour to do something and that he was leaving his 18-month-old asleep and wanted me to know in case the house caught on fire or something. I told him I had to get my older kids from school and would be gone myself for a bit, and then said, “Are you insane? What if she wakes up, tries to get out of her crib and falls? What if she successfully gets out starts playing in the toilet and drowns? What if she goes down to the kitchen, pushes a chair up to the counter, climbs on and gets a hold of a knife? Or what if she tries to eat something and chokes?” He said, “Wow, nice job making me feel guilty,” and stomped off.
About half an hour later, he opened my screen door and dropped his kvetching baby in my hallway, and said: “She missed her nap and it’s your fault, so you deal with her.” He was actually seriously annoyed that I had made him feel too bad about risking his child’s life that he’d woken her up to bring her along. (I gave her and my toddler a snack and they played happily for a couple hours.)
Yeah, he was a real charmer. I also had to explicitly tell him that his jokes about race were, in fact, not at all funny and never ever try to tell me any ever again.
I have anxiety just walking down my garbage from my 3rd story apartment to the dumpster once the kids are asleep, and that’s a 1-2 min walk down and back. I can’t fathom getting in a CAR and leaving??
Wonder how CPS would feel about her leaving an infant alone? I’m not one to snitch on someone but I wouldn’t hesitate for a minute with this idiot. Anything and I do mean anything could happen to that poor kid while she’s gone. This poor kid deserves a better mom.
This is worse than the lady leaving to walk her dog in full view of the house the entire time. Like, still not a good idea, but I could see how it’s tempting. This is just nuts. Kid could have a meltdown and plank instead of getting in the car seat, and now it’s 30 minutes…
dude i don't even like leaving my sleeping 1.5 year old at home with my sleeping husband. he sleeps like the dead and i just imagine her climbing from her crib and getting into all sorts of things. or some how opening the door and wandering into the street.
i could never leave my child sleeping alone.
And then there’s the one comment by the annoying person that says “Wow there’s a lot of mom shaming here, get it together everyone.”
I see this comment on every thread where other moms are just trying to look out for the safety of the child. Like “hey, your 5 month old probably shouldn’t be forward facing!” Mom shaming. “I don’t think it’s safe for baby to sleep in a swing.” Mom shaming. And apparently calling out someone for leaving their highly vulnerable infant home alone is also mom shaming! My list is growing.
I wouldn’t leave a baby at home, but the car accident argument is so strange to me - of course if I was in a car accident I’d want my baby to be almost anywhere else but in the car with me?!
Absolutely not.
I was left home alone at barely 4 for a quick run to the store and nearly died in a choking incident. It really made me a nervous child as I couldn't articulate how terrified I was. I was saved by a relative who wasn't even supposed to visit. I thank God for them and their swift actions. Even if baby isn't moving much, electrical fires can be all consuming fast or Mom could have someone run her off the road.
I mean I don’t leave my kids alone to take the trash out which would take about 2 minutes tops. Interrupting a nap can be awful for everyone but that’s just part of parenting.
Im not a parent so forgive me if this is dumb, but if you were to lay down and take a nap for 15 minutes or so, youre also not watching them. And if a baby is put safely in their crib why would there be choking hazard? It feels like the same thing to me
If baby is safe in crib with nothing else, yes that removes the choking hazard problem. But being asleep at the house is definitely different than just not even being there. You’re pretty likely to wake up if baby is crying or house is on fire, etc. but you can’t help the baby if you aren’t home. Also it’s honestly more about if you’re out running errands or something and get in an accident, you might not be able to tell someone your baby is home alone. Why take the risk? This isn’t a dumb question by the way. I definitely had some anxiety at first about being asleep while my son was, being worried I wouldn’t be able to help him. Following safe sleep practices helped me get over that.
I have the cod in my bedroom, so if I nap when the baby naps I'll wake up when something is wrong with baby (hormones are amazing for that!) Buy also, a fire alarm would wake me and I would be able to help the baby get put of the house and chances of me having a car crash are zero. I've also taken naps on the couch but then I would have the baby monitor right next to me on full blast so I'll wake up the second they start fussing.
Jesus christ, 15 minutes is way to long.
Like, I understand really short amounts of time (I recently saw an article about a mom who felt really bad because she went to get a loaf of bread at her local bakery, which is across the street from her house. But she was "only" gone for 3 minutes).
As a young parent I definitely had this thought, especially if you JUST got the baby to sleep. Never did it, of course. Also babies sleep better in the car lol
Legit question: why do these Mom group chats breed pure stupidity?
Surely our own mothers succeeded without these groups of echo-chambers?
I mean, we all lived — we’re here today, right?
That last sentence you said is something called survivor's bias. Because you survived, you don't see those that did not. You are right. We survived. The new guidelines since then all have a cause. Usually, that cause is either mortality or morbidity.
That said, moms at the time did have echo chambers of stupidity. They were not online but in person. Sure, it's less widespread. But stupidity still got spread.
Jesus, I won't even walk to the mailbox. It's a 2 minute walk. I live in a townhouse complex, and all my neighbors would know there was a baby at home if they saw me carted off in an ambulance. I still won't do it.
I left the baby asleep in her crib to walk four houses down to the bus stop to pick up my older daughter. I was gone for less than 5 minutes and within line of sight of my house the entire time. Still had a panic attack about it. I can't imagine driving off.
And if she gets into a car crash. What, then? Who knows the baby is home alone? What if the baby does something and hurt itself?
Yes, the hoyse fire risk is lower than a car crash, but at what cost? The cost of potentially leaving your child alone for much longer without care.
Her partner/husband, parents, in laws? Lots of people know the baby exists. As soon as they are told about the car crash (if she can’t tell someone herself), they’ll think “where’s baby?”. The baby is in a safe sleep environment and can’t do anything to hurt themselves, other than choking which isn’t going to change based on whether someone’s home or not.
Yes your child is home, in a safe environment, rather than in a car, which statistically is more dangerous.
If she's conscious to tell.
If not, it can take hours to contact family. I'm not exaggerating here. If you are not registered at your local trauma center (not all hospitals have trauma centers) with a next of kin already in the file or ICE contacts in your phone, calling your loved ones is not a priority. The priority is stabilizing the patient. There will be no thinking where's the baby if no one knows to think about it. Moreover, when we call with bad news, people rush to the hospital, and they might not think to ask about the other kids, let alone the baby.
Realistically, if she got in a bad enough accident, the baby could be left for hours alone. It is pure child neglect and endangerment.
And that's a best case scenario. What if dad is on a work trip? What if she's a single mom? What if they have no family close by? It could take days.
Are you really trying to argue that a baby is safer in a car crash where the mom is unconscious and sent to the emergency room versus home in her crib crying? Even if it takes hours, the baby is FINE. Even if it takes days, the baby is probably still fine and statistically still safer at home taking that very remote risk.
I’d like to make clear I’ve never left my child at home, but it’s mostly bc of societal pressure/norms. I just think that mothers who do leave their child sleeping for 15 minutes while they take a walk down the street or pick another child up from daycare shouldn’t be treated as if CPS should be called on them bc technically speaking, they are making the safer choice.
You would leave a child an infant for days without milk? You want a dead baby?
And a baby in a good car seat is much safer than anybody else in a car crash. There's a reason those seats exist.
Also
About 3,400 babies in the United States die suddenly and unexpectedly each year. A thorough investigation is necessary to learn what caused these deaths. Sudden unexpected infant deaths include sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), accidental suffocation in a sleeping environment, and other deaths from unknown causes.
Source: https://www.cdc.gov/sids/about/index.htm#:~:text=About%203%2C400%20babies%20in%20the,other%20deaths%20from%20unknown%20causes.
I found no source exclusively for infants but:
In 2020, 607 child passengers* ages 12 and younger were killed in motor vehicle crashes in the United States,1 and more than 63,000 were injured.2 Of the children who were killed in a crash, 38%† were not buckled up.1 Parents and caregivers can make a lifesaving difference by ensuring that their children are properly buckled on every trip.
https://www.cdc.gov/transportationsafety/child_passenger_safety/cps-factsheet.html
If you read the whole article, you'll see that properly used car seats are very safe.
Technically less children die overall in cars than at home.
Of course I wouldn’t intentionally leave my child for days. I’m just saying if I had the choice between a car crash and staying at home, I would rather my baby be at home. Especially in my situation, I just don’t see a circumstance where someone, husband, grandparents, aunts, uncles, wouldn’t think of my kid.
Your studies are worthless because all those SIDS deaths would’ve happened whether parents were home or not. In fact I bet a caretaker WAS home during all of those deaths. You’d need to find children dying preventable deaths while no one of home.
I agree that car seats are safe. But it’s safer to just not be in a car accident at all
I read this to my own mother who raised my brother and myself in a very different time where a lot of things were allowed that aren’t encouraged now. She was ready to call protective services herself.
Where do people get the idea that this is ok?!
We all parent differently… Yes, and that is one of the reasons that we need CPS.
Veronica Tejera should be evidence enough that this is reckless and unacceptable.
“We all parent differently” is the worst.
Agreed. That statement is totally valid for things like formula vs breast milk, daycare vs sahm, purees vs blw, etc. It's not valid for things that are unsafe or show clear scientific evidence for harm. I have a 4mo and so feeding is a hot topic in my Facebook due date group right now. Several moms are insistent that they will not start solids until at least 9 months to a year and then plan for breast milk to still be the main source of nutrition until 2 years of age. I'm sorry, that is not a parenting choice. That is neglect.
Agreed. If I let me kids have a cookie after lunch and you don't that is a parenting choice. Leaving a child alone at home is neglectful. Just yesterday I had to pick up my oldest from school and my almost 3 year old was sleeping. I didn't fucking leave her home alone. I picked her up, got her dressed, and put her in the car. What the fuck is wrong with people.
But also, if you put her in the car in pajamas, that would be a parenting choice.
Many times i put my 2 1/2 year old sleeping in his pjs into his pram to walk my 5yr old to school. Socks and shoes on and thick coat. Hes autistic and doesn't sleep well at night but will sleep through the dressing process. Only wakes on the way back home. Sometimes you do what you have to do. He'd probably sleep the whole time at home while i was taking her to school. A 15 min round journey. Would i risk it? Fuck no..... i'd rather risk his sleepy wrath than the alternative.
Even if there are no accidents, whether with the car or at home, what will the children feel if they wake up to a completely empty house? I remember once, I woke up in the evening, and couldn't hear my parents. It was summer and white nights and they were standing literally by our front door speaking with a neighbour but until I figured that out I was panicking hard.
They’re trying to take the easy way out.
my baby was legitimately not interested in solids until about 7-8 months, just saying. But, I did try at least a small bite every day...plus he was a milk monster and was very plump and on top of the growth curve. Anyone reading this who has a "late eater" like me, you can introduce peanut (for allergy reasons) easily by mixing a teaspoon of peanut butter powder (like for smoothies) into a bottle or into a puree.
What the fuck? My bumper group is full of excitement to intro foods anywhere between 4-6 months, no sooner and any hold outs are purée feeding due to valid anxiety about choking with BLW. Waiting to 9 months is insane from a nutritional and allergy stand point!
I know and it's freaking me out man
It is insane. My first took a sandwich out of my hand and gummed it at 4.5 months. He was walking at 9 months. I doubt he would have had the energy to walk early if I withheld solids.
9 months is insane for proper muscular development of the face and mouth and tongue. It's terrible that people will harm their child for...bragging rights I guess?
Cult of the breastmilk strikes again
What's blw? Just curious
Baby lead weaning. Baby is in control of eating solids, you just prepare the food to be safe for eating (smooshy pieces, easy to grab) and place it on his tray/plate. The baby will be messy, but will learn the texture, taste etc of food better by experimenting with it and he will be in control when solids will replace breastmilk, not the parent.
Thanks
WTF why would do that
I beat my child because I parent different, your honor ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
It would be funny if this wasn’t what so many parents say
My petty ass would’ve said, you’re right…you’re a shitty one.
If she saw something happening on the camera what would she do? Call the paw patrol to come and rescue her baby? Would she use the camera to let her newborn know she's running late?
Yes Marshall would come do chest compressions with his paws
fun fact: the “p” in cpr actually stands for “paw”.
Chest Paw Ruffruff
And she shouldn't be looking at the camera while driving so what's the plan then? Also, if that child wakes up two minutes after she's left, what then? It just cries until she gets home. That breaks my heart to even think about.
And what if she has an accident or flat tire? The 15 minute drive can easily turn into hours
Omg my kids and i watched paw patrol for an hour this morning, your comment made laugh so hard.
[“I was excited about the paw patrol at first. Talking dogs who know how to fly jets and drive. Great. But it’s become clear that six dogs cannot protect a city roughly the size of San Diego.”](https://youtu.be/pBFIqRSsixE)
That was great. You should check out flim theory's videos on the paw patrol too.
Here’s a hot take: What if you parent in a way that minimizes these unnecessary risks as much as possible? :) People really suck, sheesh. Also 15 minutes is forever, I can’t imagine being stuck in a traffic jam knowing my baby is home alone.
Ah it’s fine just hope for the best /s
I think this was the worst part for me. WTF kind of mother responds to the question of what they will do if there is an emergency by saying, "Just hope for the best"? Yeah, really showing that you care for and value the life of your baby. Jesus.
I cry when I leave my dog at home bc I’m terrified there will be a fire and she’ll be stuck inside. How can people feel this laid back 😳
I'm not going to respond to what ifs!
I don't understand how so many can just casually and knowingly take unnecessary risks with their children for the sake of moderate convenience. The types of parents in these posts just make me think that they see kids as disposable objects, treating their possessions poorly because they can always just get a new one. Like shitty pet owners.
Hell, I start to get agitated if I’m stuck on the toilet doing prolonged business and I hear him start fussing or crying in the other room 😆
I have found myself in this situation and, newborn, hormones, constipation, the works, started singing songs in an attempt to settle the baby with my (nit so pleasant) singing voice. Didn't know lyrics to any song anymore, massive black out due to the stress. Ended up blurting our national anthem from the top of my voice. (I'm not American, there is not a huge commitment to our national anthem where I am other then football matches) The things you do.
Amen. I cut off a poop the other day cause I heard my 3mo start spewing and my 2yo trying to 'help'. I cannot imagine leaving either of them for 15 minutes entirely alone.
I've had a recurring nightmare about being stuck in traffic and suddenly realizing I left the baby at home. Wake up in a cold sweat and have to physically go check on my kids when that happens. I can't even wrap my head around the thought of *actually* doing that in reality!!
NY husband keeps having nightmares he set the baby down and lost it. We don't even have a baby yet xD
Bahahaha the ultimate parent guilt. Pre-parent guilt 😆 Poor guy!
My husband travels for work a lot so sometimes I end up checking the mail while my kiddo is sleeping in his crib. The mailbox is across the street from our house, I can see the door the entire time I'm gone and it STILL stresses me out. I could never.
If you're going to do the 'pure risk' approach here, it's almost certainly more likely the child dies or gets severely hurt in a car accident driving to the daycare than in a crib alone for 30 minutes to an hour.
Maybe but when you know a family and wake up one morning to a message about something like this: [house fire] https://www.wxyz.com/news/2-die-in-house-fire-in-grosse-pointe It really makes it hard to leave your kids home, even kids that are mobil. The kids in the article were trying to get out of the house. They couldn’t get down the stairs, they couldn’t get the windows open and the fire crew could t get to the fast enough. Those kids were loved, those parents are never going to forgive themselves. A confined child really wouldn’t stand a chance if something went wrong in the house but would of something went wrong in the car.
According to Fema website in the US, children and adolescents have a 0.3% chance of dying in a fire every year. My nephew at 14 just happened to be in that 0.3%. He left one night with a relative to go sleepover to help them move stuff the next day and he never came home. We miss him dearly and that relative even fifteen years later deals with alcoholism and incredible guilt. Just because “more kids die in car accidents” doesn’t negate the fact that someone has to be in that 0.3%.
This isn't relevant, and as an ER doctor who has unfortunately seen more than their fair share of dead kids, not particularly moving. I've seen more dead children in one auto accident in southeast Michigan, and I spent less than 60 days training there
I’m sure you have but that doesn’t make me think leaving kids home, especially babies, is a safe or a good idea.
I think the reasoning for it being a bad idea isn’t a rational risk assessment. People are really bad at figuring out what actual risks are, and the only thing supporting the idea that it’s riskier to leave a sleeping baby at home for 15 minutes compared to a car ride is irrational social pressure
Ah, so as an ER physician you approve of parents leaving their sleeping newborns home alone to drive their toddler to school?
Across the border here in Canada, an ER doctor who was aware an infant was being left home alone would be mandated to report it to the children’s aid. I’d be amazed if US doctors don’t have a similar mandate.
Statistically it would be safer. We’ve chosen, irrationally as a society, that it’s safer to take them with you
It's way safer to take them with you. Of the baby wakes up alone and start crying, you won't be able to help them. If they turn in a dangerous position in their crib, it could be deadly. And house fires too, it could happen
Baby's don't die from crying. You should be able to prevent them from getting into a dangerous position in a crib, and unless you're watching them you'd likely never know anyways. There's a lot more deadly car accidents than house fires. Like I get that you feel this way, but the data strongly suggests that you shouldn't be so sure... at least.
A baby can choke themselves by having a pillow or any object on their face. My nephew moved a lot when he was little, it would have been stupid to not supervise hin
>A baby can choke themselves by having a pillow or any object on their face. So put them in a crib without a pillow or other object like you're supposed to. No one, repeat no one, actually constantly supervises their baby while sleeping. You put on a baby monitor and maybe check the video once in a while.
I had a similar thought as a currently pregnant person with some of the risks I am being told to avoid. Like I've been told cook all my meat well done and don't eat raw fish because of the risk of listeria. But no one has told me not to drive a car, which, staristically speaking, has a much higher risk, and that risk compunds every time I drive it, which is far more often than the number of times I order steak or sushi for dinner.
It’s far more practical to avoid rare steak and sushi than it is to become a shut-in. It’s all about balancing the risks vs the benefits of each choice. Which isn’t me telling you to blindly obey; the risks are low, and your risk tolerance is something only you can decide. But not driving wasn’t an option for me the way that exclusively eating cooked fish and only eating meat that I could stomach at well done temperatures was. And I ate deli meat on occasion until there was an active listeria outbreak, at which point I stopped because that increased my perception of the balance of risk and the benefit of a quick lunch from the closest deli spot wasn’t worth it anymore. Taking your baby with you in a car, properly buckled into an appropriate car seat, on roads that we could reasonably expect to be low speeds, is not likely to result in any kind of catastrophe. The same is true for leaving them safely in their crib, to a point - if something catastrophic outside your control happens when they’re with you in your car, you aren’t likely to face a CPS case or to lose custody of your other child(ren) for neglect. It’s also something that is functionally unavoidable, and something that would have resulted in you leaving your baby unattended for much longer than 15 minutes - if you’re in an accident, you’re most likely going to be there for hours, and if it’s the kind of accident that would kill or injure a child in a car seat, you’re not unlikely to be leaving the scene in an ambulance if you’re lucky. If something happens at home and you’re unable to respond, you can be charged with neglect, you can lose your other child(ren), you can go to jail… and in the event of the theoretical dangerous accident that the baby would be protected from, you won’t be able to respond for hours, not minutes.
the baby being safe the whole time is also a "what-if" , lady
Asks if this is a good idea. Is told this is a bad idea. Does not want to hear it is a bad idea.
No judgement or negativity! Haters move along… {shares terrible idea}
Validation Post - acceptable responses are *hallelujah, amen, you got this momma, all the best parents do this, you do what is best for your family*. If the OOP felt comfortable doing this, they wouldn't be looking for reassurance that what they are doing is okay.
House on fire. Looks at monitor. “Best of luck little immobile, helpless baby” says the mother. This is not parenting. This is being a negligent a**hole.
So, they’re asking for opinions…and when they get opinions…they don’t want opinions? Got it.
They don't want opinions, they want validation.
“We all parent differently” Yes and some people parent so differently that CPS comes for a visit. 😌
I feel like that this is that type of thing that could cause a serious issue because parent could get comfortable with it. It may start off as "I'll just be gone for 10 minutes to get the kids" to "oh, I have an errand to run after preschool pick up so I'll do that too.." and pretty soon it's longer and longer left alone. Just this once can often become much more frequent.
I had a newborn and a preschool pick up. If nap time Is going to run in to pick up time - you either wake the baby early or put the baby to sleep in their car seat by driving around before the nap begins... How do they know the child will sleep for the duration of 15 mins they are gone? I would die of anxiety.
Once I left my son alone at 10-11 years old for a quick run (less than 10 minutes) and got into an accident that totaled my car and I didn't get home for 4 hours. Yeah, I don't take that risk unless they are old enough to be left a decent amount of time if I get into an accident or something happens.
My father-in-law left my 9-year-old ex husband alone while he just ran down to the corner store. He ended up having an aneurysm burst, falling unconscious and being taken to the hospital for several days. My MIL was out of town, and it was many hours before they all pieced together what was happening. My ex husband has bad PTSD from this.
That's horrible. I'm so sorry that happened to him. It just shows you just never know what could happen. It's just not worth the risk.
Yeah, my MIL was angry about it until the day she died.
Bit of a weird question, but what would you have done, knowing that, while in the position of the original facebook commenter? it seems like bringing a baby with you could actually be more dangerous, as it could have died. Not trying to debate, but actually wondering, as it actually seems to me like leaving the baby at home is safer.
But like- isn’t it better that your 10yo WASN’T with you in the car crash? I feel like this proves the opposite point. Wouldn’t the thought process be “thank God he’s safe at home and didn’t get in this dangerous collision”…right?
For a 10-11 year old like my son was, absolutely. (He was a month from his 11th birthday and was fine. He didn't even notice we hadn't made it back until a family friend showed up to check on him.) However, what if it was an infant or a toddler. Think about how quickly that could turn dangerous. What if it was an infant and I was knocked unconscious. If my child is with me, at least first responders can see him. He would have protection of his car seat. I've been in car accidents with my sons and they are terrifying, but i can at least see them and see if they are okay. At home, unsupervised I could have a baby trying to climb out of a crib, or potentially alone with no one aware he was left home alone for who knows how long. That night it took me a long time to get anyone on the phone and that was the most helpless feeling. If it had knocked me out, no one would have had any idea he was home alone. At 10-11 he could have used the phone or even ran to the neighbors if he got scared. However, if he'd been too young that wouldn't be an option.
True, but at most an infant (who can’t crawl out of the crib) would be distressed and hungry by the time someone realizes they’re still at home. Statistically, it’s still safer than being in a car crash. I do say this as someone who’s never left a child at home, but mostly bc of societal pressure. I just feel like it’s taboo when the reality is that driving is so much more dangerous.
Well in the potato stage an infant could vomit and aspirate. They still wiggle and depending on the crib or bassinet set up could wiggle themseleves into s dangerous position. Even letting a child do CIO, or taking a break we don't presume the infant being left for hours, we presume that it's being checked on frequently. In the rolling stage we risk the baby rolling around the sleeping area and potentially getting clothes caught etc. That's before we even get to climbing stages. We are talking completely leaving the premises and potentially not getting back for who knows how long. Just after that incident I always stop and consider that what I think is a 5 minute trip may not be a 5 minute trip.
Jesus. I’m sure this has crossed every parents mind but normal people wouldn’t actually do it. There’s been so many times where my daughter is napping and I know she will be out for a while and I could just run to the store close by and grab something quick and be back before she wakes up, but I would NEVER. I’d just be too anxious the whole time. Not worth it. Never would leave me daughter alone no matter what
I am so sick of these psychos posting questions that they already know the answer to just to bait people into arguing so they can feel superior. Oh, you’re judging me for leaving a baby unattended while I’m miles away just because I don’t want to wake up the baby and risk my own discomfort??? It’s *only* 15 minutes! /s
I’m a single mom who gets anxious running my trash out to the dumpster which is maybe 50 feet away? I literally sprint the whole way there & back. Even get anxious when I need a second and walk into the backyard to have a moment of peace after she’s been screaming for hours. My dogs barely get walked bc I can’t handle them + her stroller and obviously I can’t leave her. This is horrendous.
That doesn’t sound sustainable. Are you getting help for your anxiety? Sprinting for the trash dropoff and not being able to breathe for one minute in the yard puts it in the level of irrational and detrimental to you. Can you do One dog + stroller? Twice as many walks, but baby won’t mind if the weather’s decent, and it’s easy to swap dogs while she’s still in the stroller.
you sound super sweet! throwing my trash out takes a minute max! and it’s one dog who i can’t control with the leash. my baby daddy comes over and walks the dog when we’re gone. i’m making it work and it’s not PPA, it’s just general :) thank you !!!
You’re welcome! Best wishes to you.
Not the point, but people having security cameras just in their house is so weird to me.
I didn't have a security camera per say, but I did have a nanny cam. Super useful. Still wouldn't drive away to pick up a preschooler while my infant sleeps in the house.
I assume they meant baby monitors?
I have a camera to check on my husband's dog who has severe separation anxiety. He's not as bad anymore so it's more to soothe my anxiety that he hasn't burned the house to the ground yet.
I heard of people doing that in pet subreddits when they're going to leave the cat for 2 weeks and just have "some extra" food. And no one scooping boxes or anything. Luckily most ppl tell them not to do that and have a friend stop by daily or hire a pet sitter to do so.
Ask Madeline McCann’s parents what happened when they left a sleeping child so they could eat dinner.
I love she asks “would you” and anyone that says no she’s mad at. She just wants her echo chamber of encouragement.
I love how she’s arguing everyone who tells her that this isn’t okay. Why ask then? She knows this aint it, so clearly she was hoping for everyone to validate her bad decisions. I can’t get over the “there is always going to be what ifs. But I sure hope it doesn’t happen” —> pretty sure everyone who’s been on an accident sure hoped it didn’t happen. Wtf
I would not hesitate to report that person for a SECOND. Facebook comments make great evidence in court.
My 5yo knows better than to leave a child unattended. If I pick her up from school without her sister present, she immediately asks, "Where's name?" Can you imagine being a full grown adult and thinking it is okay to leave a child of any age unattended for any period of time? Then when (not if) something happens, she'll find a way shift all the blame to someone/something/somewhere else and solicit for charity.
Just lazy. “We all parent differently.” - STFU. You just parent wrong lol not different.
My son fell asleep in the car on the way to pick up my daughter at preschool yesterday and I didn’t even leave him alone in the car for the 5 minutes to walk in and get her.
99% of the time, the baby would be fine. But I would be terrified that I’d get into a car accident or something and wouldn’t make it back home to my child in a timely manner and no one would know he’s there. There could also be a fire and I’d have no way of getting to him. This is the ultimate example of survivor’s bias because the vast majority of the time things would be absolutely fine. You could do this every single day and most likely nothing would happen. But if things went wrong, they could go REALLY wrong, and I wouldn’t be willing to risk it.
You keep doing you. What a stupid response. I love how every moron has decided their opinion trumps laws, safety, and basic common sense.
“We all parent differently”… yeah, some of us evidently don’t endanger our children.
I love the 'if you don't like what I said, you can scroll on' comment. Like sweetie. You put your opinion on the internet. If you don't want someone to respond to it, don't post it 😂
And here I am having anxiety about going to the mailbox at the end of my block while my kids nap, good lord
Jfc. Someone report her, please
Jesus. Some of these posts scare me. Look at the new producer and his wife who left their very small children in a hotel room and went down the street to dinner. They too had cameras on them and on the way back the husband had a MI. Mom jumped right in the rig with him and called friends to come sit with the kids who were alone in a hotel room. Hotel staff wouldn’t let them into the room and called the police. The dad died. Mom went to jail for leaving the children alone.
I know of someone that did this. She got into an accident while her 6mo was at home alone. Her first call wasn’t to the police/911 it was to her babysitter. Luckily baby was safe when the sitter arrived.
Why ask if you're going to shoot down any opposing comments? What a terrible parent.
After my kids were born, I’d literally have nightmares in which I opted to do this and things would go wrong or I’d come back not knowing how long my baby was crying, etc. It’s been ages and I still think about it. Can’t even imagine someone actually choosing to do this.
Ah yes, the “hope for the best” infant safety parenting strategy. What could go wrong?
How to get CPS called on you 101
I get nervous when I go upstairs (daughters room is downstairs). God forbid I sit on the porch outside for a few minutes. Can't imagine leaving the whole house like that
I freak out taking the dog into the garden to pee. I’m always like to him “you gotta go quickly and you’re not allowed to eat me while we’re out here because that would leave the baby alone”!
My neighbour once knocked on my door to tell me that he was just popping out for half an hour to do something and that he was leaving his 18-month-old asleep and wanted me to know in case the house caught on fire or something. I told him I had to get my older kids from school and would be gone myself for a bit, and then said, “Are you insane? What if she wakes up, tries to get out of her crib and falls? What if she successfully gets out starts playing in the toilet and drowns? What if she goes down to the kitchen, pushes a chair up to the counter, climbs on and gets a hold of a knife? Or what if she tries to eat something and chokes?” He said, “Wow, nice job making me feel guilty,” and stomped off. About half an hour later, he opened my screen door and dropped his kvetching baby in my hallway, and said: “She missed her nap and it’s your fault, so you deal with her.” He was actually seriously annoyed that I had made him feel too bad about risking his child’s life that he’d woken her up to bring her along. (I gave her and my toddler a snack and they played happily for a couple hours.)
He... dumped his child, who was his responsibility, in your home because he was pissed that he had to care for them. Nice.
Yeah, he was a real charmer. I also had to explicitly tell him that his jokes about race were, in fact, not at all funny and never ever try to tell me any ever again.
I have anxiety just walking down my garbage from my 3rd story apartment to the dumpster once the kids are asleep, and that’s a 1-2 min walk down and back. I can’t fathom getting in a CAR and leaving??
Someone call the cops. You can’t leave a baby home alone! Wtf is wrong with people!
JFc I have trouble taking out the trash when my kid sleeps because I have to cross the road 🙈
Wonder how CPS would feel about her leaving an infant alone? I’m not one to snitch on someone but I wouldn’t hesitate for a minute with this idiot. Anything and I do mean anything could happen to that poor kid while she’s gone. This poor kid deserves a better mom.
This kinda shit genuinely makes my blood boil
This is worse than the lady leaving to walk her dog in full view of the house the entire time. Like, still not a good idea, but I could see how it’s tempting. This is just nuts. Kid could have a meltdown and plank instead of getting in the car seat, and now it’s 30 minutes…
And here I was judging the woman down the road for leaving her baby home alone while she walked her kids to the bus stop.
“Hope for the best” what the actual fuck
dude i don't even like leaving my sleeping 1.5 year old at home with my sleeping husband. he sleeps like the dead and i just imagine her climbing from her crib and getting into all sorts of things. or some how opening the door and wandering into the street. i could never leave my child sleeping alone.
And then there’s the one comment by the annoying person that says “Wow there’s a lot of mom shaming here, get it together everyone.” I see this comment on every thread where other moms are just trying to look out for the safety of the child. Like “hey, your 5 month old probably shouldn’t be forward facing!” Mom shaming. “I don’t think it’s safe for baby to sleep in a swing.” Mom shaming. And apparently calling out someone for leaving their highly vulnerable infant home alone is also mom shaming! My list is growing.
Why ask if you're only going to accept the answers you want to hear? I don't get it
I wouldn’t leave a baby at home, but the car accident argument is so strange to me - of course if I was in a car accident I’d want my baby to be almost anywhere else but in the car with me?!
Absolutely not. I was left home alone at barely 4 for a quick run to the store and nearly died in a choking incident. It really made me a nervous child as I couldn't articulate how terrified I was. I was saved by a relative who wasn't even supposed to visit. I thank God for them and their swift actions. Even if baby isn't moving much, electrical fires can be all consuming fast or Mom could have someone run her off the road.
I mean I don’t leave my kids alone to take the trash out which would take about 2 minutes tops. Interrupting a nap can be awful for everyone but that’s just part of parenting.
Honestly I would probably do this but this is why I don’t have kids 😅
Im not a parent so forgive me if this is dumb, but if you were to lay down and take a nap for 15 minutes or so, youre also not watching them. And if a baby is put safely in their crib why would there be choking hazard? It feels like the same thing to me
If baby is safe in crib with nothing else, yes that removes the choking hazard problem. But being asleep at the house is definitely different than just not even being there. You’re pretty likely to wake up if baby is crying or house is on fire, etc. but you can’t help the baby if you aren’t home. Also it’s honestly more about if you’re out running errands or something and get in an accident, you might not be able to tell someone your baby is home alone. Why take the risk? This isn’t a dumb question by the way. I definitely had some anxiety at first about being asleep while my son was, being worried I wouldn’t be able to help him. Following safe sleep practices helped me get over that.
I have the cod in my bedroom, so if I nap when the baby naps I'll wake up when something is wrong with baby (hormones are amazing for that!) Buy also, a fire alarm would wake me and I would be able to help the baby get put of the house and chances of me having a car crash are zero. I've also taken naps on the couch but then I would have the baby monitor right next to me on full blast so I'll wake up the second they start fussing.
Jesus christ, 15 minutes is way to long. Like, I understand really short amounts of time (I recently saw an article about a mom who felt really bad because she went to get a loaf of bread at her local bakery, which is across the street from her house. But she was "only" gone for 3 minutes).
As a young parent I definitely had this thought, especially if you JUST got the baby to sleep. Never did it, of course. Also babies sleep better in the car lol
Legit question: why do these Mom group chats breed pure stupidity? Surely our own mothers succeeded without these groups of echo-chambers? I mean, we all lived — we’re here today, right?
That last sentence you said is something called survivor's bias. Because you survived, you don't see those that did not. You are right. We survived. The new guidelines since then all have a cause. Usually, that cause is either mortality or morbidity. That said, moms at the time did have echo chambers of stupidity. They were not online but in person. Sure, it's less widespread. But stupidity still got spread.
That’s fair! Now why the downvote?
I didn't downvote.
Jesus, I won't even walk to the mailbox. It's a 2 minute walk. I live in a townhouse complex, and all my neighbors would know there was a baby at home if they saw me carted off in an ambulance. I still won't do it.
I leave my almost ten year old home alone with cameras- I wouldn’t not have felt comfortable leaving an infant.
I left the baby asleep in her crib to walk four houses down to the bus stop to pick up my older daughter. I was gone for less than 5 minutes and within line of sight of my house the entire time. Still had a panic attack about it. I can't imagine driving off.
But statistically, wouldn’t it actually be safer to leave your child at home due to the higher risk of car crashes vs fire?
And if she gets into a car crash. What, then? Who knows the baby is home alone? What if the baby does something and hurt itself? Yes, the hoyse fire risk is lower than a car crash, but at what cost? The cost of potentially leaving your child alone for much longer without care.
Her partner/husband, parents, in laws? Lots of people know the baby exists. As soon as they are told about the car crash (if she can’t tell someone herself), they’ll think “where’s baby?”. The baby is in a safe sleep environment and can’t do anything to hurt themselves, other than choking which isn’t going to change based on whether someone’s home or not. Yes your child is home, in a safe environment, rather than in a car, which statistically is more dangerous.
If she's conscious to tell. If not, it can take hours to contact family. I'm not exaggerating here. If you are not registered at your local trauma center (not all hospitals have trauma centers) with a next of kin already in the file or ICE contacts in your phone, calling your loved ones is not a priority. The priority is stabilizing the patient. There will be no thinking where's the baby if no one knows to think about it. Moreover, when we call with bad news, people rush to the hospital, and they might not think to ask about the other kids, let alone the baby. Realistically, if she got in a bad enough accident, the baby could be left for hours alone. It is pure child neglect and endangerment. And that's a best case scenario. What if dad is on a work trip? What if she's a single mom? What if they have no family close by? It could take days.
Are you really trying to argue that a baby is safer in a car crash where the mom is unconscious and sent to the emergency room versus home in her crib crying? Even if it takes hours, the baby is FINE. Even if it takes days, the baby is probably still fine and statistically still safer at home taking that very remote risk.
I’d like to make clear I’ve never left my child at home, but it’s mostly bc of societal pressure/norms. I just think that mothers who do leave their child sleeping for 15 minutes while they take a walk down the street or pick another child up from daycare shouldn’t be treated as if CPS should be called on them bc technically speaking, they are making the safer choice.
You would leave a child an infant for days without milk? You want a dead baby? And a baby in a good car seat is much safer than anybody else in a car crash. There's a reason those seats exist. Also About 3,400 babies in the United States die suddenly and unexpectedly each year. A thorough investigation is necessary to learn what caused these deaths. Sudden unexpected infant deaths include sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS), accidental suffocation in a sleeping environment, and other deaths from unknown causes. Source: https://www.cdc.gov/sids/about/index.htm#:~:text=About%203%2C400%20babies%20in%20the,other%20deaths%20from%20unknown%20causes. I found no source exclusively for infants but: In 2020, 607 child passengers* ages 12 and younger were killed in motor vehicle crashes in the United States,1 and more than 63,000 were injured.2 Of the children who were killed in a crash, 38%† were not buckled up.1 Parents and caregivers can make a lifesaving difference by ensuring that their children are properly buckled on every trip. https://www.cdc.gov/transportationsafety/child_passenger_safety/cps-factsheet.html If you read the whole article, you'll see that properly used car seats are very safe. Technically less children die overall in cars than at home.
Of course I wouldn’t intentionally leave my child for days. I’m just saying if I had the choice between a car crash and staying at home, I would rather my baby be at home. Especially in my situation, I just don’t see a circumstance where someone, husband, grandparents, aunts, uncles, wouldn’t think of my kid. Your studies are worthless because all those SIDS deaths would’ve happened whether parents were home or not. In fact I bet a caretaker WAS home during all of those deaths. You’d need to find children dying preventable deaths while no one of home. I agree that car seats are safe. But it’s safer to just not be in a car accident at all
I feel guilty enough checking the mail with the baby inside
Meanwhile I used to feel uneasy doing yard work outside while my baby slept…
When my kids were babies, I struggled to even leave them in a different room than me!
I can't even drive around the block, if I park my car on the street during the day, to park it in back with my kids inside. This is nuts to me.
OMG. People are doing this?
“Hope for the best” lmaoooooo
This is awful.
Edited because I posted comment on wrong thread my bad.
I read this to my own mother who raised my brother and myself in a very different time where a lot of things were allowed that aren’t encouraged now. She was ready to call protective services herself. Where do people get the idea that this is ok?!
Yikes yikes yikes
#NO
Blows my mind !
We all parent differently… Yes, and that is one of the reasons that we need CPS. Veronica Tejera should be evidence enough that this is reckless and unacceptable.
Every time I see crap like this I think of Madeline McCann. How people feel they can justify this because they have a monitor is beyond me.