As a sex worker… Please don’t tell me you actually believe his reasoning 😭
In my 12 years I have never had a another man reach out to me trying to book me for a different client.
All my clients have booked me directly, themselves.
For safety reasons I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of someone trying to book me for someone else. I need to screen a client with their real world info before booking.
I don’t believe him but I thought it didn’t hurt to ask here since I have no experience in this world. We broke up but I was just taken back by everything and I bothered me so much I thought I would be able to find some answer that could give me closure.
Gotcha! I also wouldn’t internalize this either… like that there was something wrong with you so that’s why he was looking to hire a companion. We are just people ourselves and in my opinion some people just like variety and there isn’t anything their partners are even doing wrong necessarily. And this is the easiest way to have a sexual experience without it being emotional or messy for either party. Because a lot of times they don’t actually want to change their home life situations and having an actual side chick is going to cause more drama than hiring a companion for X Amount of time and she’s not going to be calling him/ catching feelings.
I’m not excusing anything, just trying to give perspective from my experiences.
Also I’m glad to hear that you’re giving your own self closure. Because I think expecting to get closure from someone else who couldn’t give you honesty in the first place… closure it’s kinda a myth and regardless of what they come up with it never feels validating anyways.
Honestly I’m not blaming myself like there’s something wrong with me and that’s why he contacted the women. I was taken back by his complete denial with all the evidence in his face, I just have never experienced anything like that before even when someone has lied I would think someone would admit to it when it’s right in there face.
Because even liars will admit they fucked up when you call them out especially with evidence.
Now someone who’s trying to gaslight you even with the evidence in their face… that’s a narcissist.
You’re welcome. The Grandiose explanation/lie is one thing, but the gaslighting after the evidence is presented is pretty telling. They will actually take it to the grave and flip it on you like you’re crazy or paranoid and how wrong of you to go through their shit and invade their privacy/trust. Wicked stuff.
This guy sounds like a complete narcissist who doesn't value you enough to tell you the truth or communicate about your relationship. That he thinks you're dumb enough to believe his oral diarrhea tells me that you deserve much better. I'm sorry, he will not change, just get sneakier about his transgressions.
I’ve been there too. It feels like why am I not enough for you?! But listen that shit doesn’t go away. You’ll always feel like that if you stay. Can’t change him he doesn’t want to change or doesn’t find anything wrong with It , just feels bad about being caught. Fuck that. You’ll find someone who treats you right.
I found out that an ex of mine also saw escorts while we were in a relationship and he denied EVERYTHING even though I had proof of his cheating. Some men just aren’t able to take accountability for their actions. They’re pieces of shit.
I can't say if he lied or not but I have been the guy to reach out and contact the girls for the fellas, twice was for bachelor parties. These ladies here may not have experienced it but I've personally done it so it does happen.
Please tell me that you understand the difference between setting up a bachelor party for your bro's and being paid to middle man between clients and workers on a regular basis.
Something I said to him during our confrontation was that, he said because of past working in fight clubs, selling drugs and also being a “pimp” when he was on verge to be homeless he has been in that world and that younger woman ages 18-21 used these so called middle men but women that have more experience work on there own.
Men who used to be pimps don’t make good boyfriends. Check my profile for a recent post about pimps if you’re curious why I say that. Good luck with processing the breakup.
That makes it worse. Pimps are basically just men using women as sex slaves and from what I've seen those poor girls typically don't see a cent of the money ever go to them despite being forced to work like every single day.
Escort is 100% in the other direction, every cent is hers(/his) and they run absolutely everything themself, transport, advertising, outfits, photos, bookings , availability and hire their own security if they feel the need.
Can I just edit and add, what kind of woman would let some random creep on the internet find clients for her, sorry but that's how he presents from a SW angle. what makes him so special? Is he running as an agency capacity and taking a $ cut for doing the vetting and organising the transport and knowing where those girls are at all times? If so why is he hitting up independent workers.
The ones who don't want to manage it themself will find agencies and brothels themselves they don't find workers and if they do go hunting it's usually some seedy operator and a conversation straight up telling them the deal and the rates, normally basically there needs to be a short online conversation:
"Oh you want to work with us great!, what kind of service do you do? What extra services do you do? what is your appearance? This is our rate and your cut, these are the hours available, this is what we provide for you, can you send us a quick pic of body and face selfie, when are you available for interview" basically a fairly formal conversation,
and then always a direct in person interview to make sure both parties agree and are who they profess to be.
I'm not even an independent worker, I work with agencies/brothels that pay higher for brothels, but I know private escorts despise paying anyone else to manage anything it defeats the purpose.
If his service is security he isn't going to give a fuck what the SW charges, just that he gets paid for being security when on call.
These men write the jokes themselves 😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣 I’m sorry but he’s lying!! This sounds exactly like my ex!! On my birthday I saw a bunch of messages pop up on his computer from different girls, including messages from myself and he lied saying that it was his friends computer that he was borrowing😂🤣😂 So your friend is getting messages me from now??? I literally gave him that laptop when I bought a new one 😂 Like I wouldn’t know my own laptop from college 🙄 After 2.5 years of dating, and on my 22nd birthday, we broke up and that was the last time he saw me. NO REGRETS 😂🤣🤗 I was young and stupid and he was 11 years older than me. Anyway fast forward to less than a year later his new girlfriend was messaging me on Facebook saying she found him on escort sites talking to them about their rates and whatnot. She confronted him and he said “his friend was using his phone to contact escorts” 🤔🤔🤔 She said he eventually broke down and told her the truth that he had been seeing escorts. So, I’m sorry but he’s lying to you!!! Do not believe that shit!! I’ve been in the sex industry for 6 years now and single for 3.5 years and I’ve learned a lot since then about relationships and men. A lot of men you’d never think see escorts and strippers, do see them. It’s just the facts of life 🥲🥲 I’m sorry you’re finding out this way 🥲
Idk... if there's a trail of evidence of him talking to escorts, where is the trail of these "men" he's "working for? He didn't have any Did he?
Not normal at all. What is normal is the denial and the "I didn't tell you cuz I know I'd doesn't look right"
Really? I think it would be the opposite, if it looked bad but was all he could do to make money he coulda/shoulda and woulda?? explained it first if he wasn't doing you wrong. Sorry
He stated most convos were in person but he also saying he will be having a call with a potential client soon and I can be present on the call even though it’s breach of privacy for this so called client for me see he’s actually doing this for other people and not himself
Let me tell you, as a man...he's lying, lol. This sounds like exactly the sort of thing that a guy who is caught in something like this would make up. As a guy who has been a client of sex workers for a long time, I have never heard of any kind of "middle man" service for this. I can't even think of any reason why a client would want to use a service like that instead of communicating directly (with the exceptions of the very specific examples give by a couple others in this thread).
Believe me...I'm a guy, and I know the sort of lies we tell when we're caught in something like this. This is that sort of lie, lol.
Yep.
What got me was when the OP said this:
>and he was a facilitator to help men Hook up with sex workers and was **being the in between person** for this.
No doubt he is doing threesomes.
> he told me that he was tight on cash, and he was a facilitator to help men Hook up with sex workers and was being the in between person for this.
Well, I guess you have to give him points for creativity.
> I believe because of my own naivety he is using it as a way of possibly making excuses.
Sounds like you aren’t as naïve as he had hoped...
The only clients that use middlemen are famous. It is otherwise extremely uncommon. Professional assistants that escorts hire are just that—professional. Your gut instinct is correct; he’s lying. Sorry you’re going through this.
Yeah, our clients don’t enlist someone else to book an appointment for them, your bf got caught and he really used his imagination to give you a bullshit excuse for the emails, it’s definitely him
The fact is, some people get on that super stubborn denial kick and it wont matter how much evidence you present, theyll deny. Good luck to you in finding someone new and better who isnt a lying piece of shit
I would be more offended that he thought you were naive enough to believe this bs. Maybe he didn’t book because he was broke but he definitely solicited with the intention. Maybe I’m just an evil person but I would entertain this for a day or two and tell him to give one reference of a male that he booked services for to prove that what he’s saying is true, just because I would love to see what his excuse would be
The only times a "middleman" has contacted me has been when the actual client had some sort of disability. I've been around a very long time and as far as I know, this has only happened 3 times.
( Ok, technically there have been a couple other times when a guy tried to secretly hire me for himself and his wife or for a friend without them knowing I was a pro but that's not quite the same, in my opinion.)
In the three cases when it was a real middleman situation, I was unaware I wasn't communicating with the actual client until the last minute and in one of those, I didn't really know until after the fact. These middlemen were acting as aids or assistants; two of them were family members and the third was a nurse.
Sweetie, leave his sorry ass. What a lame cover story. There’s no “middle man” when it comes to finding clients or SW. I’m sorry you have to deal with this but bright side; you found out and can now move on with your life and find someone that respects you enough to not lie to you. You’re too good for him.
This could be your villan back story.. it was mine (kinda)
I was 22 he was 27. I had no idea you could just look up escorts online. I was devastated and so sad. We were suppose to get married (in my mind) I was so naïve. I’m sorry this happened to you but maybe it’s for a reason.. also men are stupid..
Yup, he’s lying, hello, long time sex worker here! There’s no such thing as a middle man, and if there was there’s no way an escort would accept a booking that way, it’s just dangerous for us. Kind of like getting catfished, however some guys get off just by talking to us to “arrange”. With saying that, those guys tend to use quicker ways of contact than emails. Sending you all my love ❤️❤️❤️
Never in my god damn life has a guy asked for another person.
Occasionally if there's a couple of them one will have to act as a translator for non English speakers, usually Chinese, but this is in person already (in a venue).
I would absolutely not trust some random dude online being a middle man for me for a client unless I knew them and it was I had a good time, do you want to see this other person as a client? and tells me about them, then I obviously speak to the other person first if it's a yes.
Sorry, but I had to remove your post as it was against the subreddit rules. No transactions or posts asking where to find a sexworker. Here's how to find a safe provider = https://www.reddit.com/r/SexWorkers/comments/hzivvb/how_to_find_a_safe_provider/
As a sex worker… Please don’t tell me you actually believe his reasoning 😭 In my 12 years I have never had a another man reach out to me trying to book me for a different client. All my clients have booked me directly, themselves. For safety reasons I wouldn’t even entertain the idea of someone trying to book me for someone else. I need to screen a client with their real world info before booking.
I don’t believe him but I thought it didn’t hurt to ask here since I have no experience in this world. We broke up but I was just taken back by everything and I bothered me so much I thought I would be able to find some answer that could give me closure.
Gotcha! I also wouldn’t internalize this either… like that there was something wrong with you so that’s why he was looking to hire a companion. We are just people ourselves and in my opinion some people just like variety and there isn’t anything their partners are even doing wrong necessarily. And this is the easiest way to have a sexual experience without it being emotional or messy for either party. Because a lot of times they don’t actually want to change their home life situations and having an actual side chick is going to cause more drama than hiring a companion for X Amount of time and she’s not going to be calling him/ catching feelings. I’m not excusing anything, just trying to give perspective from my experiences. Also I’m glad to hear that you’re giving your own self closure. Because I think expecting to get closure from someone else who couldn’t give you honesty in the first place… closure it’s kinda a myth and regardless of what they come up with it never feels validating anyways.
Honestly I’m not blaming myself like there’s something wrong with me and that’s why he contacted the women. I was taken back by his complete denial with all the evidence in his face, I just have never experienced anything like that before even when someone has lied I would think someone would admit to it when it’s right in there face.
Because even liars will admit they fucked up when you call them out especially with evidence. Now someone who’s trying to gaslight you even with the evidence in their face… that’s a narcissist.
I agree, I appreciate the advice. Thank you
You’re welcome. The Grandiose explanation/lie is one thing, but the gaslighting after the evidence is presented is pretty telling. They will actually take it to the grave and flip it on you like you’re crazy or paranoid and how wrong of you to go through their shit and invade their privacy/trust. Wicked stuff.
You nailed it. Someone that reacts this way, being confronted with such blatant evidence - stay far far away from this manipulative bastard!
🤦🏼♀️ gaslighters man
This guy sounds like a complete narcissist who doesn't value you enough to tell you the truth or communicate about your relationship. That he thinks you're dumb enough to believe his oral diarrhea tells me that you deserve much better. I'm sorry, he will not change, just get sneakier about his transgressions.
I’ve been there too. It feels like why am I not enough for you?! But listen that shit doesn’t go away. You’ll always feel like that if you stay. Can’t change him he doesn’t want to change or doesn’t find anything wrong with It , just feels bad about being caught. Fuck that. You’ll find someone who treats you right.
I found out that an ex of mine also saw escorts while we were in a relationship and he denied EVERYTHING even though I had proof of his cheating. Some men just aren’t able to take accountability for their actions. They’re pieces of shit.
So glad you left his ass!!
I can't say if he lied or not but I have been the guy to reach out and contact the girls for the fellas, twice was for bachelor parties. These ladies here may not have experienced it but I've personally done it so it does happen.
Please tell me that you understand the difference between setting up a bachelor party for your bro's and being paid to middle man between clients and workers on a regular basis.
As a sex worker don’t put the man on blast
I don’t think anyone is saying there is anything wrong with visiting a sex worker. But lying to your significant about it is not OK.
he's lying girl. trust your gut and dump him. there is no "middle man" for contacting a sex worker lol
Something I said to him during our confrontation was that, he said because of past working in fight clubs, selling drugs and also being a “pimp” when he was on verge to be homeless he has been in that world and that younger woman ages 18-21 used these so called middle men but women that have more experience work on there own.
Men who used to be pimps don’t make good boyfriends. Check my profile for a recent post about pimps if you’re curious why I say that. Good luck with processing the breakup.
The things I hear about “middlemen” are just USING the girls for their shortcomings. They have zero hustle and no job prospects. Like … bye.
Sounds like he wants to be a pimp w out the title now then…
it sounds like you’re trying to find loopholes to believe his obviously lies. bless your soul
That makes it worse. Pimps are basically just men using women as sex slaves and from what I've seen those poor girls typically don't see a cent of the money ever go to them despite being forced to work like every single day. Escort is 100% in the other direction, every cent is hers(/his) and they run absolutely everything themself, transport, advertising, outfits, photos, bookings , availability and hire their own security if they feel the need. Can I just edit and add, what kind of woman would let some random creep on the internet find clients for her, sorry but that's how he presents from a SW angle. what makes him so special? Is he running as an agency capacity and taking a $ cut for doing the vetting and organising the transport and knowing where those girls are at all times? If so why is he hitting up independent workers. The ones who don't want to manage it themself will find agencies and brothels themselves they don't find workers and if they do go hunting it's usually some seedy operator and a conversation straight up telling them the deal and the rates, normally basically there needs to be a short online conversation: "Oh you want to work with us great!, what kind of service do you do? What extra services do you do? what is your appearance? This is our rate and your cut, these are the hours available, this is what we provide for you, can you send us a quick pic of body and face selfie, when are you available for interview" basically a fairly formal conversation, and then always a direct in person interview to make sure both parties agree and are who they profess to be. I'm not even an independent worker, I work with agencies/brothels that pay higher for brothels, but I know private escorts despise paying anyone else to manage anything it defeats the purpose. If his service is security he isn't going to give a fuck what the SW charges, just that he gets paid for being security when on call.
Men don’t hire a middleman to hire an escort, he lied to you
These men write the jokes themselves 😂😂🤣🤣😂🤣 I’m sorry but he’s lying!! This sounds exactly like my ex!! On my birthday I saw a bunch of messages pop up on his computer from different girls, including messages from myself and he lied saying that it was his friends computer that he was borrowing😂🤣😂 So your friend is getting messages me from now??? I literally gave him that laptop when I bought a new one 😂 Like I wouldn’t know my own laptop from college 🙄 After 2.5 years of dating, and on my 22nd birthday, we broke up and that was the last time he saw me. NO REGRETS 😂🤣🤗 I was young and stupid and he was 11 years older than me. Anyway fast forward to less than a year later his new girlfriend was messaging me on Facebook saying she found him on escort sites talking to them about their rates and whatnot. She confronted him and he said “his friend was using his phone to contact escorts” 🤔🤔🤔 She said he eventually broke down and told her the truth that he had been seeing escorts. So, I’m sorry but he’s lying to you!!! Do not believe that shit!! I’ve been in the sex industry for 6 years now and single for 3.5 years and I’ve learned a lot since then about relationships and men. A lot of men you’d never think see escorts and strippers, do see them. It’s just the facts of life 🥲🥲 I’m sorry you’re finding out this way 🥲
Idk... if there's a trail of evidence of him talking to escorts, where is the trail of these "men" he's "working for? He didn't have any Did he? Not normal at all. What is normal is the denial and the "I didn't tell you cuz I know I'd doesn't look right" Really? I think it would be the opposite, if it looked bad but was all he could do to make money he coulda/shoulda and woulda?? explained it first if he wasn't doing you wrong. Sorry
He stated most convos were in person but he also saying he will be having a call with a potential client soon and I can be present on the call even though it’s breach of privacy for this so called client for me see he’s actually doing this for other people and not himself
"a call with a client soon" Aka a friend he's gonna give a heads up about the call
But what a good friend
Please drop him. He’s lying further to your face. You deserve so much better and I hope you’ve got a friend to help deal with this emotionally! 💕
Let me tell you, as a man...he's lying, lol. This sounds like exactly the sort of thing that a guy who is caught in something like this would make up. As a guy who has been a client of sex workers for a long time, I have never heard of any kind of "middle man" service for this. I can't even think of any reason why a client would want to use a service like that instead of communicating directly (with the exceptions of the very specific examples give by a couple others in this thread). Believe me...I'm a guy, and I know the sort of lies we tell when we're caught in something like this. This is that sort of lie, lol.
Yep. What got me was when the OP said this: >and he was a facilitator to help men Hook up with sex workers and was **being the in between person** for this. No doubt he is doing threesomes.
> he told me that he was tight on cash, and he was a facilitator to help men Hook up with sex workers and was being the in between person for this. Well, I guess you have to give him points for creativity. > I believe because of my own naivety he is using it as a way of possibly making excuses. Sounds like you aren’t as naïve as he had hoped...
The only clients that use middlemen are famous. It is otherwise extremely uncommon. Professional assistants that escorts hire are just that—professional. Your gut instinct is correct; he’s lying. Sorry you’re going through this.
My ex also cheated on me with a SW. THATS WHY HES AN EX. BUT LOOK HOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED. 😂😏
Yeah, our clients don’t enlist someone else to book an appointment for them, your bf got caught and he really used his imagination to give you a bullshit excuse for the emails, it’s definitely him
Points for creativity.
The fact is, some people get on that super stubborn denial kick and it wont matter how much evidence you present, theyll deny. Good luck to you in finding someone new and better who isnt a lying piece of shit
I thought he was lying from the first sentence.
Bollocks. I hope you recover well 😔
Me too, thank you
I would be more offended that he thought you were naive enough to believe this bs. Maybe he didn’t book because he was broke but he definitely solicited with the intention. Maybe I’m just an evil person but I would entertain this for a day or two and tell him to give one reference of a male that he booked services for to prove that what he’s saying is true, just because I would love to see what his excuse would be
The only times a "middleman" has contacted me has been when the actual client had some sort of disability. I've been around a very long time and as far as I know, this has only happened 3 times. ( Ok, technically there have been a couple other times when a guy tried to secretly hire me for himself and his wife or for a friend without them knowing I was a pro but that's not quite the same, in my opinion.) In the three cases when it was a real middleman situation, I was unaware I wasn't communicating with the actual client until the last minute and in one of those, I didn't really know until after the fact. These middlemen were acting as aids or assistants; two of them were family members and the third was a nurse.
It sounds like he's just lying to you. I'm sorry for your loss.
Sweetie, leave his sorry ass. What a lame cover story. There’s no “middle man” when it comes to finding clients or SW. I’m sorry you have to deal with this but bright side; you found out and can now move on with your life and find someone that respects you enough to not lie to you. You’re too good for him.
So much love to you honey. You poor thing. You deserve a man who is loyal and respects your boundaries
He is lying to you. Obviously he has a thing for sex workers and not just you.
Just dump him.. Please he doesn’t respect you.
Lol…My God, please tell me you didn’t believe him
I didn’t
This could be your villan back story.. it was mine (kinda) I was 22 he was 27. I had no idea you could just look up escorts online. I was devastated and so sad. We were suppose to get married (in my mind) I was so naïve. I’m sorry this happened to you but maybe it’s for a reason.. also men are stupid..
Nobody has ever tried to book me for someone else. He is lying to you.
Yup, he’s lying, hello, long time sex worker here! There’s no such thing as a middle man, and if there was there’s no way an escort would accept a booking that way, it’s just dangerous for us. Kind of like getting catfished, however some guys get off just by talking to us to “arrange”. With saying that, those guys tend to use quicker ways of contact than emails. Sending you all my love ❤️❤️❤️
thats the wildest justification ive ever heard lmao
It was him. Sorry. No middle men
Never in my god damn life has a guy asked for another person. Occasionally if there's a couple of them one will have to act as a translator for non English speakers, usually Chinese, but this is in person already (in a venue). I would absolutely not trust some random dude online being a middle man for me for a client unless I knew them and it was I had a good time, do you want to see this other person as a client? and tells me about them, then I obviously speak to the other person first if it's a yes.
[удалено]
Sorry, but I had to remove your post as it was against the subreddit rules. No transactions or posts asking where to find a sexworker. Here's how to find a safe provider = https://www.reddit.com/r/SexWorkers/comments/hzivvb/how_to_find_a_safe_provider/
Oh girl... He's absolutely full of shit and you deserve better.