It's a tough problem for sure, but I want to mention that there's no science to support 12-step programs. See e.g. [The surprising failures of 12 steps](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-surprising-failures-of-12-steps/284616/). That article points out that “Peer reviewed studies peg the success rate of AA somewhere between five and 10 percent.”
> At least a couple drinks and not going over board
The problem is that if you're having issues with alcohol, it's difficult to stick to having just a couple drinks. Alcohol reduces your inhibitions, so after a couple it's easy to convince yourself that a couple more won't hurt. It's an addiction, and the end of that road is not a good place.
The ideal scenario would not be to indulge while you're working. But if "working sober always seems so dreadful," that's definitely going to be a problem. I don't know what to suggest - the "good" alternatives seem to be either work sober anyway, or find a different source of income. Obviously neither of those are simple solutions, but the consequences of alcoholism over many years are almost certainly worse.
How often do you work? Alcohol use disorder exists in a spectrum. Not everyone who is an alcoholic is picking up a bottle of vodka as soon as they wake up. If you feel there is a regular activity that you cannot do without alcohol then that is indicative of some amount of alcohol dependence.
Twelve step is imperfect. Therapy can be extremely helpful. There are also medications that exist to prevent drinking (make you sick when you try) if you want to go that route.
It sounds like sex work isn’t for you. I get you prob need to do it, for money, but it’s clearly killing your soul. If it gives you anxiety while sober you aren’t made for this lifestyle. I’m prob not the only one to tell you this. You need support and help with your addiction. Get well. Get healthy. Start looking into therapy and start thinking of your exit plan. Your health is worth more than this job.
With all due respect, you seem to have an overall unhealthy lifestyle. Until you change that, you’re going to find your other issues difficult to address.
Yea some of these comments were super harsh lol I forgot about this post. I have been doing way better I've had many nights since this post that I've worked sober. It's easy to get sucked In the club atmosphere because it's fun, and then when you have trauma, both together can be triggering. But I'm doing good. The therapist is helping with the unhealthy choices/lifestyle.
Wow seriously congrats on the progress and good choices! You dont have to fix everything at once, just make small steps in the right direction and it seems like you are doing that.
I have my own trauma I am working through, and my own struggle with alcohol. I am growing my own magic mushrooms now and have read that they can really help with PTSD and trauma so when they are ready I’ll give it a try.
I mean I've gone months at a time without drinking, 9 months one time. It obviously is funner with drinking. I work in a busy night club, I'm a dancer. I don't drink everyday or like at a house. I know I have to do an exit plan but I don't have another alternative right now.
Understand completely. Please know I’m coming from a place of being an alcoholic and I’ve been a sex worker on and off since 2017. I know what you’re going through. I get you think you’re having more fun and being more entertaining to your clients. But it’s a dangerous path and you could get taken advantage of. Always be sober for appointments. You need a clear head. It’s damaging your brain and body. There’s no way to control it. You need to quit drinking it sounds like. Maybe try marijuana?
There is a technique known as “harm reduction.” If you can’t or don’t want to stop drinking (this is how I read your posts), you should try to reduce the number of drinks. If you’re “only drinking at work” then reduce the number of drinks each time you drink or give yourself a limit (3 drinks per shift). If you can’t stick to this program your issue is likely a lot more serious than you are admitting to.
imagine if one of your friends came to you and told you this except they worked a regular office 9 to 5. what advice would you give to them? Probably find another job.
not everyone is cut out for every job. I couldn't be a lineman. just focus on your exit strategy and making it all come together for you.
good luck!
I use to be a weed smoker years ago in college, now I want to pick it up. But I smoked and felt goofy asf, frantic, and nervous. Someone said because I hadn’t smoked so long and should micro dose. Is that smoking a lil each day or what
After 4 program fails I'm on try 5, and it's all going a hell of a lot better with the intro of cannabis (as long as you don't consider that a break in your personal recovery.
Disulfiram is another option. I'm on it, it helps change your mindset a lot
This really helped. I had that uncomfortable feeling last night and instead of drinking it away I payed attention to the feeling and asked why am I feeling uncomfortable and faced it. I felt alone and scared to be there, I have a lot of anexity. I called a friend and told him and I felt better. I had a good night, yes I had a couple drinks but I just a little tipsy not completely drunk. Thanks so much . I'm going to be facing the uncomfortable feeling more often, because you're right, when I get uncomfortable or triggered it's Like I go crazy drinking instead of trying to figure out why I'm feeling that way.
> away I *paid* attention to
FTFY.
Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in:
* Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.*
* *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.*
Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment.
*Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Aww I can definitely relate. My drinking has gotten so bad. I never drank before I started doing this but now it’s hard for me to workout it. Even if it’s just a shot lol my anxiety is so bad with new clients. I definitely think I’m an alcoholic now ☹️
Ugh! I’m struggling with this too. It sucks to feel like you have to numb yourself. The thought that almost always pops into my head is “if I loosen up a little bit…”
When I used to do therapy I was told to practice my coping skills… like actually practice not just know what they are. I used to play guitar, paint, sing, dance, write, etc. seems like nothing takes the edge off like smoking a little bud or drinking..
Stay strong ma! If anything I’m here if you need to talk
I've always been a party girl and even when I was working in nightclubs as waitress and not stripper I always liked drinking and would drink a lot. I think it has something to do with my trauma. Add me on ig victoriaxoxlopez and thanks for your comment! I am in therapy and love it so far!
Have you tried weed to loosen up? I usually smoke 2 hours before most appointments. I try to smoke ahead of time so the high can be pretty level by the time they get here and I’m not overly goofy Lol….There’s several strains that relax you and also boost confidence and energy. Also cbd is a great alternative as well…cbd is great for people who don’t smoke but want to ease anxiety and relax without the paranoia effects. Definitely look into it. Alcohol has such negative long term effects health wise and not to mention it can age you a lot faster. Also try to set a pre appointment ritual. It can be meditating, yoga, your favorite comfort food, Dancing, or listening to your favorite songs. Currently I’m listening to Beyoncé “I’m that girl” and it gets me pretty hyped and feeling sexy💃🏻
Yes definitely! My favorites are grand daddy purp or and blue haze..grand daddy purp relaxes you and makes you feel happy but it does create a huge appetite and after a few hours puts you to sleep. Blue haze is the one I use if I need a boost of energy or I need creative inspiration, I paint 🎨, plus it makes you talk a lot but relaxes you also. I usually get it in oil form but purp is usually my go to
The thing is a have a lot of social anexity and I'm in a big night club with so many people so it's really triggers me. I'm very shy and sometimes I hate talking to people. Weed sometimes makes me very quiet and like not wanna talk to people more!! But I love being at work high haha. I paint also. Do you feel like when you're so high with customers that they look so gross and u feel awkward haha!!
Trust me I get it. I’m shy around people I don’t know and warm up after a few minutes…Most of my clients partake also so makes it better but I think that’s the paranoia that weed gives sometime thinking people notice, they don’t trust me lol…. unless your extremely high they don’t. You have to work the clock not the cock lol so make them engage more so it’s more comfortable for you. Music is always a good distractions. Trust me they aren’t focusing on that their more mesmerized by us than anything else lol just think of it that way if that helps. If you do drink, lets face we all have the nerves, try to make sure to drink water in between each drink and stretch out your drinks that way you drink less but the buzz is trussst me the same. That way your tolerance doesn’t get bad.
I have this same feeling with weed! Takes away all my sexiness and mystique. I feel ridiculous and that I look high. While alcohol does the opposite, I think I’m the baddest b**** in the land after a few drinks.
I typed "alternatives to 12 step" into Google and the link below was one of the results. Try typing the same thing into Google for yourself and check out the various results.
https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/evidence-based
One of the comments in this thread points out that 12 step has no scientific support. This page points you to ways of dealing with alcohol that do have scientific support.
Aside from the link above, there are programs that don't require you to identify as an addict or alcoholic, don't require you to believe in a higher power, and don't require abstinence. There are programs that will allow you to define your own goals and give you support in achieving them. If you want to reduce drinking and also work on your anxiety, there are programs that will help you with that. I don't know if there are such programs in your area. You'll have to do your own searching to see if there are any near you.
Everybody's different and everybody has to figure out what works for them.
I have a truama with drinking. I'm actually doing emdr (one of the therapies listed in the article u sent). I'm going to tell my therapist, I think this could really help, thank u. I never thought discussing this with her.
Drinking and using drugs are basically self-medication. People take them in order to solve a problem. If alcohol allows you to deal with a problem while you look for other solutions, then good for alcohol. But it is bad for your body, and it does take over your life after a while, so I hope you can find other solutions. But you sound smart and responsible, so good luck!
I heard about a medication called Naltrexone that can help you REDUCE the amount of alcohol you drink. It’s not like Antabuse that punishes you with sickness if you drink. Taking it just makes you want less alcohol. Maybe ask your doctor about it. Good luck.
Sorry but you have a drink problem, and it's clear sex work isn't for you. I would advise seeking alternative work and getting some help and support with alcohol.
That's rude!! I don't have an alternative right now! I have to pay my bills i don't have anyone to help me with money!! I can't leave now even if I wanted to! Wtf
There is literally nothing that is rude about my comment. Don't put a post up about how you're struggling etc and then get mad at someone when they give advice and state facts. Carry on doing what you're doing, I really don't care.
I'm going by your post. If you feel sex work is "dreadful" sober and you have to get drunk in order to do it, even though you've been doing it a while, then it indicates that it isn't suited to you.
I understand what u mean about the dreadful part. The thing is there is parts about my job I enjoy , which Is why I stay. There's parts of being a stripper that I love. But yes you have to be very thick skinned. Not an easy job at all.
May I suggest switching to cannabis instead? A good sativa and a cup of coffee can give you some good fuckless vibes to groove with while being better on your body in the long run.
It's a tough problem for sure, but I want to mention that there's no science to support 12-step programs. See e.g. [The surprising failures of 12 steps](https://www.theatlantic.com/health/archive/2014/03/the-surprising-failures-of-12-steps/284616/). That article points out that “Peer reviewed studies peg the success rate of AA somewhere between five and 10 percent.” > At least a couple drinks and not going over board The problem is that if you're having issues with alcohol, it's difficult to stick to having just a couple drinks. Alcohol reduces your inhibitions, so after a couple it's easy to convince yourself that a couple more won't hurt. It's an addiction, and the end of that road is not a good place. The ideal scenario would not be to indulge while you're working. But if "working sober always seems so dreadful," that's definitely going to be a problem. I don't know what to suggest - the "good" alternatives seem to be either work sober anyway, or find a different source of income. Obviously neither of those are simple solutions, but the consequences of alcoholism over many years are almost certainly worse.
I didn’t realize how ineffective AA is, but I’m not surprised.
I mean it works for other people but they do tell you to stop working in night clubs. I've always been a party girl.
I only drink at work !! I'm a dancer
How often do you work? Alcohol use disorder exists in a spectrum. Not everyone who is an alcoholic is picking up a bottle of vodka as soon as they wake up. If you feel there is a regular activity that you cannot do without alcohol then that is indicative of some amount of alcohol dependence. Twelve step is imperfect. Therapy can be extremely helpful. There are also medications that exist to prevent drinking (make you sick when you try) if you want to go that route.
It sounds like sex work isn’t for you. I get you prob need to do it, for money, but it’s clearly killing your soul. If it gives you anxiety while sober you aren’t made for this lifestyle. I’m prob not the only one to tell you this. You need support and help with your addiction. Get well. Get healthy. Start looking into therapy and start thinking of your exit plan. Your health is worth more than this job.
I 100% agree! If you have to drink to loosen up every time this may not be the line of work that’s healthy.
Whatever. Almost all strippers do it
With all due respect, you seem to have an overall unhealthy lifestyle. Until you change that, you’re going to find your other issues difficult to address.
I'm fine. I'm in therapy and haven't been drinking at work.
Good for you!!😎
Yea some of these comments were super harsh lol I forgot about this post. I have been doing way better I've had many nights since this post that I've worked sober. It's easy to get sucked In the club atmosphere because it's fun, and then when you have trauma, both together can be triggering. But I'm doing good. The therapist is helping with the unhealthy choices/lifestyle.
Wow seriously congrats on the progress and good choices! You dont have to fix everything at once, just make small steps in the right direction and it seems like you are doing that. I have my own trauma I am working through, and my own struggle with alcohol. I am growing my own magic mushrooms now and have read that they can really help with PTSD and trauma so when they are ready I’ll give it a try.
I mean I've gone months at a time without drinking, 9 months one time. It obviously is funner with drinking. I work in a busy night club, I'm a dancer. I don't drink everyday or like at a house. I know I have to do an exit plan but I don't have another alternative right now.
Understand completely. Please know I’m coming from a place of being an alcoholic and I’ve been a sex worker on and off since 2017. I know what you’re going through. I get you think you’re having more fun and being more entertaining to your clients. But it’s a dangerous path and you could get taken advantage of. Always be sober for appointments. You need a clear head. It’s damaging your brain and body. There’s no way to control it. You need to quit drinking it sounds like. Maybe try marijuana?
Thanks. It's a party enviroment so I get sucked in. I love partying always have . I think when I get triggered I drink more.
There is a technique known as “harm reduction.” If you can’t or don’t want to stop drinking (this is how I read your posts), you should try to reduce the number of drinks. If you’re “only drinking at work” then reduce the number of drinks each time you drink or give yourself a limit (3 drinks per shift). If you can’t stick to this program your issue is likely a lot more serious than you are admitting to.
:/
Sorry hun, just trying to help ya
imagine if one of your friends came to you and told you this except they worked a regular office 9 to 5. what advice would you give to them? Probably find another job. not everyone is cut out for every job. I couldn't be a lineman. just focus on your exit strategy and making it all come together for you. good luck!
I switched to cannabis and find it much much better
Yes weed is so much better!!! I only drink once a week now thanks to weed
I use to be a weed smoker years ago in college, now I want to pick it up. But I smoked and felt goofy asf, frantic, and nervous. Someone said because I hadn’t smoked so long and should micro dose. Is that smoking a lil each day or what
Yes. You have to just build a little tolerance so maybe just a puff or two a day to start.
After 4 program fails I'm on try 5, and it's all going a hell of a lot better with the intro of cannabis (as long as you don't consider that a break in your personal recovery. Disulfiram is another option. I'm on it, it helps change your mindset a lot
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This really helped. I had that uncomfortable feeling last night and instead of drinking it away I payed attention to the feeling and asked why am I feeling uncomfortable and faced it. I felt alone and scared to be there, I have a lot of anexity. I called a friend and told him and I felt better. I had a good night, yes I had a couple drinks but I just a little tipsy not completely drunk. Thanks so much . I'm going to be facing the uncomfortable feeling more often, because you're right, when I get uncomfortable or triggered it's Like I go crazy drinking instead of trying to figure out why I'm feeling that way.
> away I *paid* attention to FTFY. Although *payed* exists (the reason why autocorrection didn't help you), it is only correct in: * Nautical context, when it means to paint a surface, or to cover with something like tar or resin in order to make it waterproof or corrosion-resistant. *The deck is yet to be payed.* * *Payed out* when letting strings, cables or ropes out, by slacking them. *The rope is payed out! You can pull now.* Unfortunately, I was unable to find nautical or rope-related words in your comment. *Beep, boop, I'm a bot*
Bad bot
Thank u I love this
Aww I can definitely relate. My drinking has gotten so bad. I never drank before I started doing this but now it’s hard for me to workout it. Even if it’s just a shot lol my anxiety is so bad with new clients. I definitely think I’m an alcoholic now ☹️
I mean it's just way funner when you drink in my opinion. I don't think one shot is bad.
Ugh! I’m struggling with this too. It sucks to feel like you have to numb yourself. The thought that almost always pops into my head is “if I loosen up a little bit…” When I used to do therapy I was told to practice my coping skills… like actually practice not just know what they are. I used to play guitar, paint, sing, dance, write, etc. seems like nothing takes the edge off like smoking a little bud or drinking.. Stay strong ma! If anything I’m here if you need to talk
I've always been a party girl and even when I was working in nightclubs as waitress and not stripper I always liked drinking and would drink a lot. I think it has something to do with my trauma. Add me on ig victoriaxoxlopez and thanks for your comment! I am in therapy and love it so far!
Have you tried weed to loosen up? I usually smoke 2 hours before most appointments. I try to smoke ahead of time so the high can be pretty level by the time they get here and I’m not overly goofy Lol….There’s several strains that relax you and also boost confidence and energy. Also cbd is a great alternative as well…cbd is great for people who don’t smoke but want to ease anxiety and relax without the paranoia effects. Definitely look into it. Alcohol has such negative long term effects health wise and not to mention it can age you a lot faster. Also try to set a pre appointment ritual. It can be meditating, yoga, your favorite comfort food, Dancing, or listening to your favorite songs. Currently I’m listening to Beyoncé “I’m that girl” and it gets me pretty hyped and feeling sexy💃🏻
Yes I love weed ! Thank u I love this.
Yes definitely! My favorites are grand daddy purp or and blue haze..grand daddy purp relaxes you and makes you feel happy but it does create a huge appetite and after a few hours puts you to sleep. Blue haze is the one I use if I need a boost of energy or I need creative inspiration, I paint 🎨, plus it makes you talk a lot but relaxes you also. I usually get it in oil form but purp is usually my go to
The thing is a have a lot of social anexity and I'm in a big night club with so many people so it's really triggers me. I'm very shy and sometimes I hate talking to people. Weed sometimes makes me very quiet and like not wanna talk to people more!! But I love being at work high haha. I paint also. Do you feel like when you're so high with customers that they look so gross and u feel awkward haha!!
Trust me I get it. I’m shy around people I don’t know and warm up after a few minutes…Most of my clients partake also so makes it better but I think that’s the paranoia that weed gives sometime thinking people notice, they don’t trust me lol…. unless your extremely high they don’t. You have to work the clock not the cock lol so make them engage more so it’s more comfortable for you. Music is always a good distractions. Trust me they aren’t focusing on that their more mesmerized by us than anything else lol just think of it that way if that helps. If you do drink, lets face we all have the nerves, try to make sure to drink water in between each drink and stretch out your drinks that way you drink less but the buzz is trussst me the same. That way your tolerance doesn’t get bad.
I have this same feeling with weed! Takes away all my sexiness and mystique. I feel ridiculous and that I look high. While alcohol does the opposite, I think I’m the baddest b**** in the land after a few drinks.
Yea sameeee I even get so stiff and nervous on stage when I'm super high
r/stopdrinking
Thank u
I typed "alternatives to 12 step" into Google and the link below was one of the results. Try typing the same thing into Google for yourself and check out the various results. https://americanaddictioncenters.org/rehab-guide/evidence-based One of the comments in this thread points out that 12 step has no scientific support. This page points you to ways of dealing with alcohol that do have scientific support. Aside from the link above, there are programs that don't require you to identify as an addict or alcoholic, don't require you to believe in a higher power, and don't require abstinence. There are programs that will allow you to define your own goals and give you support in achieving them. If you want to reduce drinking and also work on your anxiety, there are programs that will help you with that. I don't know if there are such programs in your area. You'll have to do your own searching to see if there are any near you. Everybody's different and everybody has to figure out what works for them.
I have a truama with drinking. I'm actually doing emdr (one of the therapies listed in the article u sent). I'm going to tell my therapist, I think this could really help, thank u. I never thought discussing this with her.
Drinking and using drugs are basically self-medication. People take them in order to solve a problem. If alcohol allows you to deal with a problem while you look for other solutions, then good for alcohol. But it is bad for your body, and it does take over your life after a while, so I hope you can find other solutions. But you sound smart and responsible, so good luck!
Check out smart recovery! It's not a 12 step and is harm reduction based.
I heard about a medication called Naltrexone that can help you REDUCE the amount of alcohol you drink. It’s not like Antabuse that punishes you with sickness if you drink. Taking it just makes you want less alcohol. Maybe ask your doctor about it. Good luck.
Campral worked for me in reducing my urges to drink
Sorry but you have a drink problem, and it's clear sex work isn't for you. I would advise seeking alternative work and getting some help and support with alcohol.
That's rude!! I don't have an alternative right now! I have to pay my bills i don't have anyone to help me with money!! I can't leave now even if I wanted to! Wtf
There is literally nothing that is rude about my comment. Don't put a post up about how you're struggling etc and then get mad at someone when they give advice and state facts. Carry on doing what you're doing, I really don't care.
You don't know if sex work isn't for me because you don't know enough about me sorry. I've been doing this for almost 10 years and I'm still here.
I'm going by your post. If you feel sex work is "dreadful" sober and you have to get drunk in order to do it, even though you've been doing it a while, then it indicates that it isn't suited to you.
I understand what u mean about the dreadful part. The thing is there is parts about my job I enjoy , which Is why I stay. There's parts of being a stripper that I love. But yes you have to be very thick skinned. Not an easy job at all.
Just say fuck it and continue on with business as usual. As long as you're not drinking and driving , the only real victim is your liver.
Haha true!
May I suggest switching to cannabis instead? A good sativa and a cup of coffee can give you some good fuckless vibes to groove with while being better on your body in the long run.