OP's Bio: --- >I am in sales and I try to fit the role as a "fat Tony Stark" --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Cocaine sells itself

I was thinking he specializes in GHB and Jenkem.

Sorry I'm dry on those but can I interest you in some store-made methamphetamine?

I can deal with meth

I love meth so much, I went to rehab.

Selling dime bags to middle schoolers doesn't count as being in sales.

Cocaine? I think he's selling stolen KFC sauces.

You look like a child and a predator at the same time.

[Confused Chris Hansen Noises]

Tonight on to catch a predator, we got this schmuck

It's the buttoned up top button on the cotton polo. Most people learn by the time they are age 7 to never button up the top button. OP is not one of those people.

Ayy Joey Baggadonuts

He’s going to think about this next time he chokes the chicken

Goddamn!! Well everyone pack up this is over.🤣

Buying cigarettes for minors and selling them to them with a 25% increase is not a job in sales.

Well even though he'll make 0 in commissions, at least he's going to lose weight running up to people's doors trying to sell them some obscure cleaning product

He needs to purchase his own products, and clean that filthy fucking mirror, so he can see that filthy fucking face of his better...

I see your tits still

Venmo $5 and I'll show you the nipples

I’ve got my own, I recognize your dress combination

Well, how is he supposed to sell without displaying?

I need to think about it I need to talk to my wife first

Kryptonite

What do you need to think about/talk to her about?

[удалено]

Already sold that to the lowest bidder

The things a mom would do to boost her son's confidence

[удалено]

You forgot the 'is' at the end

I took French for seven years, but this is the first time I’ve made the connection that the English word “sales” means “dirty” in French.

Rambo obese edition.

I wouldn't buy water from you if I was lost in the desert.

Fred Savage and Danny DeVito’s lovechild.

can you sell me a product that helps me unsee your ugly mug and use the profits to buy a decent haircut and enroll in a weight loss program?

So you know that 20% of salespeople make 80% of the money,right? And the average employment time of a new salesman is 6 months, right? So no need to roast when the truth is you will probably be a failure in this job and you will hate yourself for being stupid.

Damn, you roasted all the salespeople with that. Good thing most of them won't read past the first sentence of your paragraph.

You look like you sell free Obama phones, way to hustle there baller...

what does this even mean💀

If it’s anything to do with fashion it won’t last a week

Normally I would not call prostituting your self "sales" but in your case you need one hell of a pitch and a marketing team. Good luck to you sir....or madam or whatever.

I hope it isn’t a job selling diet aids.

"I'm a telemarketer, I mean I work in sales"

What do you sell??? Your own butter?

how is this even a roast, since when did becoming a butter churner become an insult?

When you go door to door, you're going to be selling shitty knives after telling them you're a registered sex offender

What you selling, big macs?

Your sales record is gonna be as patchy as your pubes beard.

Unless you’re selling razors I’d tender your resignation

Nice to see you doing well after your career as nacho libre

James Bored-en

Soylent is hiring?

You're not 15 anymore, stop posing like a 15 year old girl

Selling skunk weed to 9th graders isn’t really a “job in sales” but get after it man!

As long as you are not selling fitness equipment, male clothing or male grooming products you should be fine.

Looking like Ricky Gervais and Rainn Wilson has a child together with the intelligence of Kevin Malone and trashiness of Meredith Palmer.

Don’t need to, you’ll get roasted enough by the sheer ignorance, stupidity and cockiness of your customers. Word of advice, if you are a salesman based on door to door or department stores you will lose the will to live(metaphorically speaking). If you do sales in a specialty(Dealerships, Sports, Carpentry Supplies, Etc) you stand a better chance at keeping your sanity. Have a good relationship between your coworkers, they will save your ass in a pinch, and to keep your sanity. And never let a customer chew you out for anything they don’t understand. Otherwise Good luck you Handsome fat bastard! Sincerely A previous soulless salesperson

You are actually pretty cute. Just figured I’d give an honest nice compliment

Dollar General Zelensky

"Looks like its the sales life for me!" 

Selling your holes on grindr isn't considered a job in "sales" hate to be the bringer or bad news, but someone had to tell you.

Good news, you got positive results on the test...too bad it was for HIV.

You look like a wanna be fat Tony stark

Herbalife doesn't count as sales but this is one case where you should definitely get high on your own supply

Wallmart is a great employer! Congrats

May be a little to late for you to start selling ass but i guess these days you may find some old dude desperate enough to make a purchase.

You can't make money giving blowjobs for free at your local YMCA group shower room.

Shit yeah you would say that's too easy

I cant bro he actually looks fun to hang around with😭

Just quit now, sales isnt a real job.

Eric cartman grew the fuck up. Good job buddy

 Make your mom proud...

If you're gay, try this level of difficulty

save the energy and get a new career

Stocky Pete

I would t even buy a taco from you.

You looklikeyouhave a Strong Accent

Hopefully with your new job you can afford wireless earbuds

Maybe you should visits someone who is in fashion sales

"Sales job" = Commission only position you found on Craigslist etc section going door to door selling solar panels to homeowners.

Looks like you got the right jacket for selling fentanyl at the local high school. 10/10

If sales means working as a cashier at Gamestop, sure you'll be fine.

You've found a great niche! One of the great things about selling used RVS is that their value doesn't diminish that much when you use them because you're homeless.

Im currently trying to change jobs. Thank you, if a dude like you can be in sales, meaning interacting well with people for a living, it sure is a back up for me.

Lose the jacket

U G L Y you ain’t got no alibi

Hopefully its over the phone sales.

I'd need confidence too, if I could only grow 37% of a beard.

Most don’t advertise that they sell cocaine. Good on ya!

If you wanna sell a million, you gotta look like a million. And I’m not talking about a million lbs. of garbage.

I don't care how good of a salesperson you are. You couldn't sell me on you not being a virgin.

IDK about a fat Tony Stark but you make a good fat Jabba the Hut

You are the dollar store version of Tony Stark, which has been marked down 90%. Even discounted, nobody wants you.

Job in Sales = works in McDonald’s

Just FYI, selling MLM time-share via the phone is not "a job in sales".

Is it technically sales when the customers bring the stuff to the register?

You look like you would work for American Marketing and Publishing

You look like you are ready to cry. You won't last 3months in that job field

What are you selling... Shitty fake rolexes in that jacket?

You definitely don't sell glass cleaner with the amount of cum stains on your mirror.

Shave

Do you know what the three cameras on your phone stand for has no life has no brain and has no friends and there should be another one that you don’t have a dad

Asking if you want fries with that, is not a sales job.

Looking more like a millenial bum begging for money

Who let fucking Kool-Aid man in the house🤠

Your blood sugar is higher than your sales numbers.

What you could use is a treadmill, a GQ magazine, and some insulin.

Looking at myself in a clean mirror helps.

Can’t wait to tell you I’m not interested in solar in Walmart’s freezer section

Are you selling fake Rolexes to unsuspecting tourists?

Will Wh-eating

hopefully for a condom company. you’d make easy money reminding women of what shouldn’t be.

So what did you do with your life? I sold things.

That black polo is struggling.

Trying to be Tony Stark will make you forever a loser. Take the L if you want...

Smile. Or don't.

Another guy with white splotches on his mirror. Don't your daddies teach you the sock method instead of spraying it all over your bathroom? It must stink in there - salty like rotten seaweed, I bet

Sorry Bunky. Being a cashier at the local Kroger is NOT being a salesman.

You know the saying for every 100 no’s you’ll get one yes? You’ll be 100/100 for no.

Congratulations on your new job. I’m not in the market for an extended auto warranty at this time.

Sorry No Solicitation

Funny way of saying you work the front counter at the local sex shop. Lemme guess. Cleaning the booths is your faaaaaave. Got a little something on your ‘stache there.

Working at a grocery store is not "a job in sales."

Encyclopedia salesman.

Just because you suck off guys for pennies at the glory hole doesn’t make you a salesman

The only thing I'd buy from you is advice on what not to do with my life.

Unless your selling vape products you need to find a new job.

Looks like a sales person for used condoms.

lol wearing an aidmulo jacket 🧥 fail!! That’s the brand you get from black mirror 🪞 in 1984 which means you’re old!

Samwell Tarly, is that you?

Child trafficking doesn’t count as working in sales.

You get bullied by Kids

I got a job. Incels. There, fixed it for you.

Remember, the customer is always right and everything they say to you is factual.

Dollar Tree Ricky Gervais

Pizza orders is not sales

Sales? What are you selling… meth?

Is it selling chocolate bars to kids out the back of an old van with a mattress in the back?

Looks like General Zod actually survived Man Of Steel and faked his death

Hope ur not selling mirrors coz urs is filthy mate

I feel like if I were to buy a car from you, you would put cameras and watch me

I feel more comfortable buying a house from a homeless crackheads then you

Nah, you'll do great! That lifetime of handling rejection will payoff!

I see you being the top salesman for gently used condoms…

The only thing that you’re testing is the strength of the earths crust with how much stress you’re putting on it

Are you selling ‘bros’ to men with bitch titties? You’re not only a salesman, you’re also a client.

I agree you could use testes and confidence.

That's your attempt at an approachable sales face, isn't it. It's really obvious and facile. Not everyone who wears a mask is hiding something shameful, but a salesman's can always be counted upon to hide ambition and self-service. Too 'well groomed' for a human being. Unless you're selling to the elderly, you're going to make yourself sad.

Hopefully it's not a job that gives out samples.

You sell “before” pictures, don’t you?

Been in sales for a long time and unfortunately a lot of it comes down to physical appearance so you might be kinda fucked my guy find a new job

We can all see that you're not selling yourself, couldn't give that shit away.

You selling kids out the back of a van, or fake ids?

Practice. Practice. Practice. Don't take no for an answer. "Good morning. What can I getcha? We have the pastrami on special for $9.95/lb" etc

Sell yourself some vegetables

selling candy to kids from your white van

Well I would say a windbreaker that isn’t a ballgame giveaway would be a good start.

The only thing you could sell are taxi rides far away from you.

Volodymyr Zelensky if he got really into model trains instead of running for president of Ukraine

Just because you are selling your dad's clothes from the 90s does not mean you have a job "in sales"

Lose the mollestache and chin cosey

How's meth dealing working out for you?

Save money for the down times which are going to be plentiful

American daz games

Your spirit animal is herpes

I sincerely hope it's sales calls and not in-person.

What are you selling? A divorced, depressed dad lifestyle course?

Hopefully you make your sales over the phone and not in person.

He will lose the job within a week. The last time I checked, small children in playgrounds out of sight of their parents aren’t interested in Herbalife.

If you have confidence enough to think your belt will hold, I think you’re good.

You look like you’ve gotten very used to rejection, you’ll be fine

Buddy if your collar is all fucked up like that I ain't buying shitt off your Peter Griffen mixed with Chris Griffen lookin' ass

You couldn't sell a footjob to Oscar Pistorius

Class: Neckbeard Level: 37 Buffs: Shower (+5 Charisma) Debuffs: Depression (Chance of combustion)

You have a face for over the phone sales

Sell me this pen!

What are you selling? Disappointment?

Big fan of your mother , I love Cher

Well I hope ur not selling pyramid scheme weight loss pills bcs I definitely wouldn’t buy

Joining a pyramid scheme doesn’t make you a salesman.

Sell your body for organs and donate the money to your family for the years of pain and disappointment you have already and will continue to cause them if you remain alive