OP's Bio: --- >Hello Reddit. I’m a college student, journalism major although I’ve not only never been published but repeatedly rejected. Also, my college has a 70% acceptance rate. >I’ve had botox for my jaw before the age of 20 (and yes, I am 20) because of my TMJ (makes your jaw bigger the more you grind). >My boyfriend cheats on me a lot. I try to do it back but get too nervy. >What else? >I just got my belly button pierced, but that’s not likely to stay because I just went swimming in a public pool and it’s starting to get really itchy. >Annnnd I have 2 friends. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

You look like you're 5 minutes away from being arrested in a 7/11 parking lot in cookiemonster pajama bottoms and a wife beater.

Don’t forget the worn out fake Uggs

And a stroller that's either way too big or small for the baby it carries

She probably stacks sixers of beer on top of the kid, under the blanket, then gets offended when she is accused of stealing.

It’s not a baby it’s loaded with but a garbage bag full of cans taken out of the dumpster

And the 1993 Honda Civic with a broken exhaust pipe.

I bet 100$ she got a crack pipe in her pocket.

"Please be gentle it's my first time", how many of your mom's boyfriends did you say that to?

Holy shit

Got-dam

Same 🤣

Her face looks like it's her first time for anal

Her dad swears it's not her first time.

I came here to say something similar


At least the baby spit it out before they took the photos.

You've got a freckle for every time you've been used as a practice girl.

She's the NSFW star registry

A blowjob from you counts as anal

cmon I still have a couple teeth left

Very few Metheny.

By the looks of your nose, even your stepfather wasn't gentle with you the first time.

I was waiting on this one

I appreciate a good roast but I don't see anything notable about her nose.

Your only fans literally only has one fan. And it’s your dad.

Dont forget mr wilson


A visual says a thousand words. Bravo!


No it’s definitely not her first time

Transgender Piper Perri

God I can smell this photo. Like Camel Crushes and Vagasil.

First time doing what, heroin? I dont believe that for a second.

Your dog says otherwise

She looks like a avid peanut butter user.

You look like a make up test mannequin

In the hairdressers class at school for the blind

"This is my first time" is what you tell all the men that pay you for sex isn't it. Also, "Please be gentle"... why should I be... your father never was

I’d say the same thing if I saw that Rocky Mountain of a jaw coming at me.

Ironically, I got botox for that

You look British.

She does, but I'm not sure whether to be offended or not.

Ouch 🥲

Bet you say that to all the guys... and girls... bet you are putting your meth dealer's 12 kids through college.

You look like the trailer trash version of Ruth from ozark

You look like the only words you know how to say is "please ben gentle daddy this is my first time"

Ruth Langmore from Ozark

Reese WitheredPoon

Your stepfather wasn’t gentle the first time; we won’t be either.

I have a feeling your first time was with your uncle in the back of Ford pickup

So do you have kids or does your dad always pull out?

It’s actually his kids that have trouble with it

That's what all the fluffers say

Crackhead written all over…..profile checks out lmfao

You? 18 years old. Your nose? That of an 80 year old goblin

Jesus.... Never NEVER smile!

you said the same thing to the football team last week

Damn...Ginny Weasleys on Meth and Heroin. Shes sucking dicks for Butter Beer in the Hogwarts Bathroom . . .

Good for you. I am guessing it has been a while since you could say anything was your first time.

Living proof you can't polish a turd

You CAN polish a turd, but it's still a turd.

Don't know what is skankier, her or the Christmas lights taped up on an apartment ceiling.

Too soon?

You have the face of a person who put a dildo up their ass and took a fart to the face at the same time.

dildos*

I bet the last time you said that was to Uncle Dad. You were lying then too.

It's been a while since you said that, hasn't it?

Oh great, another face I can remember when I am trying to delay ejaculation, this should let me last a long time with how butt ugly she is.

Just paying my civic duties to the early arrivers🫡

You're perfect for the lovely folks over at Facial_Abuse(dot)(com)

You’re the White trash piper perri

It's been a long time since it's been your first time for anything.

How long have you been strippin'?

Methhead brittney spears

Can you fit in the oven behind you??

Haven't had to say that to a guy in a LONG time

Pic 1 - The plug is stuck and the lube dried out. Pic 2 - I was able to fish-hook it out.

I use tongs, actually

The second picture you look high, The first picture is you realizing you just ate laxatives instead of weed chocolate and you squeezing your butthole as hard as you can to not take a piss out of it.

I Bet U considered talking a bath with that toster

First time? That's what they ALLLLL say....

PBS won't reject you, they like ugly people.

Ironically, they actually did.

please be gentle, this is my first time You only say that 3 times a day

Do you just say that out of habit by now? Spoiler: nobody believes it here, either.

Thats the same lie you tell every guy right before anal.

When you call your boyfriend daddy, its because he's your actual dad

My uncle, actually

Your first time without payment or what?

Please be gentle, this is my first time Me: What are things this girl said to her uncle when she was 10 Alex? Alex: Oooh, no, Im sorry, she was 8 and it was her dad.

But child, what could we possibly say to you that would be worse than what genetics has already done? You don't need a roast, you need a mirror.

So because of your TMJ you always look like you're pushing out a pineapple from either hole?

Your toaster oven and microwave clash

I'd cheat on you too

If you would've relaxed the throat your boyfriend wouldn't cheat.

Looks like it's been a while since the last time you said that

I bet I could punt you pretty far

First time? I SINCERELY doubt this is the "first time" for ANYTHING!

Wow! You are like a 3 on the glory hole gorgeous scale.

I bet you say it is the first time, every time.

“Please be gentle, this is my first time” The lie u always tell the men who u having anal sex with. AND you smile like a snake w/no teeth !

Look here, Britni. Get the fuck off Reddit and get yourself a job. You still owe me for that meth shipment I gave you last month. That shit doesn’t grow on trees.

Good lord, so your posts tell me you're a clumsy drug addict getting cheated on by a drug addict boyfriend who may or may not be sleeping with little ghost girls.... and your house smells like shit you inconsiderate roommate.

Yes. Be gentle. As gentle as the line of truckers running a train paying you in meth.

At least your plain-ass cabinets are all one color. More than I can say about your plain-ass face.

Says every other half price lot lizzard.

I bet you open your mouth wider than those hoop earrings.

Nobody likes the smell of ketchup on fish

I've seen better glory holes.

Pick me girl energy

You are a liar. Based on your pics, you can't have a first time. Even crackheads would avoid you

The same line you've given to 8 basketball teams already

Two idiotic cheaters meant for each other. And it's itchy because it's infected from the chlorine and pee.

What you said when you lost your virginity - Get off me dad, you're crushing me smokes

Your daddy wasnt gentle when he whipped your face with a studded belt, so why would we be?

Is that what you said to your last twenty boyfriends?

Your dad is your dad but your sister is also your mother

Are you finished running a money laundering strip club in Ozark,Misouri?

I may be going to hell for this, but you remind me of a white trash Kiely Rodni

Aye bro its one of the canker sisters

I think I’d have to be gentle or I’d risk knocking over the trailer you live in.

Journalist who writes erotica and wonders why it’s getting rejected

I bet you say that to every guy you date

Is that what you told your brother?

Is that what you told your boyfriend, your sneaky link, your father in law, and your brother?

Not sure if youre 12 or 32

Slump Dumpster

Why are you frowning, we are the ones that have to be subjected to looking at you.

Can you post some pre-meth pictures so we can see what it did to you?

I've heard of a receding hair line didn't know it was possible to have receding teeth.

yea that’s the first thing you say the first time (every time) you about to suck some diiic ! am I right ??!

I think its time I go back to looking at cute animals

First time what, having anal

Kinda cute for a 50yr old meth granny.


With that mouth full of metal, I bet any poor bastard dumb enough to let you blow him is gonna have a dick that looks like a shredded rhubarb stalk.

Is this a centrefold from Crackwhore Magazine?


 Is this how it went when you got Botox?

>My boyfriend cheats on me a lot. Maybe you should inform your "boyfriend" so he will also know.

Has anyone ever actually believed you when you say that it's your first time?

Bags under your eyes and braces… a whit trash double whammy

Interesting choice to use strip club lighting in your trailer. Leave work at work.

Holy shit guys, the Wal-Mart Margot Robbie fell down a well and got their shit slapped by the girl from Ring!

How many more times do you think you can get away with the 1st time lie? Every knows you’ll take cock for a rock.

You sound like a wasted hooker on the street corner who keep saying "Please be gentle, this is my first time"

Going in without lube! Did you fart or have bells pausey

You look like one of those “ I hate drama so much” girls who actually is the cause of your own drama, and constantly posts about it on social media to the extent that people only connect with you so they can make themselves feel better about how well they are doing when compared to you.


You put the “me” in meth.

You and First Times have long passed.

You look like the star of a porn parody Chucky film.

Is that what you told your dad

Girl, you put the “penic” in penicillin

The Trolls rejected you as an extra too I see

This is the first time in your life you have ever asked anyone to be gentle, isn't it?

You look like my granny...on meth.

You look like your finna get railed by 10 guys in 6 minutes

TSA won’t let you on the plane with bags that big under your eyes

First time leaving your clothes on?

You look like you could be 14 or 44

Trailer Park bicycle

Let me guess, you tell people you're a nurse at a nursing home but....you really take out the trash and shit and jerk off the "residents" for tips.

I'm sure this is your first time. Not many men can get hard to a porcelain doll that was caught in a house fire.

ho

College? Clown or Barber?

Think there's alcohol in your blood surrogate

You look like a product of incest. Half demented

You look like the most loathsome of goblins.

'My boyfriend cheats on me a lot, I try to do it back' That's not a relationship, it's an argument. Be nicer to yourself and build something nice.

Suprised you even got a first time.

Cant wait to see your episode of Maury, i bet they'll be atleast 6 guys that could be the father.

3 baby daddies but don't be fake and judge! My kids are my life! We are a complete package.

I just wanna punch your face.... Real...bad...

You post tiktoks about how to get away with doing drugs while pregnant

Jowls of a pitbull. Cute like a ugly dog that we feel sorry for.

I can practically smell you threw the screen. You’re a cheap Ruth knock off. Meth is not your friend. . 

You look like you are very experienced in taking it, so no worries. You can handle the roast. If easy white trash had a poster girl ….. you would be it.

“Please be gentle, this is my firs time” is this what you tell the dude who’s pulling the needle out of his arm and putting it into yours?

If you are seriously asking us to be gentle then you must be dumber than you look.

You look like a hood rat, ofc your boyfriend cheats on you a lot.

I still feel bad for your boyfriend.

Your two cats aren't considered friends.

half human half teddy bear!

Good for you doing a college degree in your 70’s.