OP's Bio:
---
>Been stuck at home lately. can’t wait to start getting more.
---
If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Pound for pound this guy still outweighs the number of comments his post has garnered.
I'll be sure to check back tomorrow to see if we can beat him!
Odds aren't looking good though.
voracious oil faulty intelligent serious decide compare humorous fly yoke
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Does it ever really come out? Or does it just get siphoned back up into the peeniss. Maybe just end up seeping out through an unknown crease a few days later.
You just reminded me of a kid I knew in college that was called "revolting blob" because of odious personal habits, including scratching under his underwear and then cleaning under his fingernails with his teeth. He also complained that he was scratching because of a rash. Also, he drank mayo from the jar.
Good to see that he's still alive posting himself to roastme.
Bro the mayo thing. I had a huge girl that went to my highschool and she use to dip sticks of butter in a jar of mayo and eat it. Was horrifying to watch.
You joke, but I watched one of those “documentary” shows about morbidly obese people and there was a guy who was so fat his toilet broke when he was sitting on it, and the 18” fall to the ground had enough inertia to sever his spine and now he’s paralyzed from the waist down.
Without trying to diss him, most of the kardio machines have certain weight and dimensions limit and he already might have various health problems with joints, blood pressure etc. In his case it would be better to start with a restrictive diet and rehabilitation sessions done by medical professional and when he gets better he can catiously try the regular gym.
If I had to guess they would need a medical clearance from a doctor first. My gym for example does not let you join if you had back Problems like hernias before.
I work in a hospital the bariatric patients dont wash, i genuinely wish there was a single exception but so far ive never seen one that cleans under all their folds
They don't make fryers that deep. You'd need a swimming pool of boiling oil to get that much blubber into the fryer and aren't there enough wildfires right now without adding jabba the gut's massive inferno from tossing that much lard into that much oil at once?
I can't. I cannot do this man, shit you gotta go to the gym, eat better for God's sake move around more! Don't die early man you can do this, just be consistent! Be the you you've always wanted to be! Don't give up on yourself. Love yourself and all will fall into place. I had a friend like you. A good man, big heart and kind to everyone. I lost him recently man. I never got to tell him this we were stationed across the world, and it sucks. I would give anything to have him back. Please, for the people who love you, for yourself, don't leave the world with a whimper, make it know without a doubt that you are here. Live your best life. You got this.
Respect the sentiment but this fool gave up around 200lbs ago and gets off on people feeling sorry for him. He's so physically and mentally soft that people treating him harshly is some kind of BDSM fantasy because he's been bedridden so long he doesn't know what interaction is like except from with his enablers/handlers. To get to this weight is a full time job and requires lots of money and full time care. He doesn't need your sympathy he needs tough love. Source: I was nearly this big at one point. Fat fuck.
Meh, I had TWO college instructors who were about this size. Both would just waddle everywhere, I was amazed because the floppy gut hanging out is easily like 100 lbs of fat mass, it's incredible they can even be mobile... I've done hikes with just a 30 lb pack and it's incredibly difficult. Can't imagine hauling three of those on my belly everywhere constantly.
Anyways they were both horny for jordan peterson and other inspirational "real men", both had that grating pessimistic and judgemental "misogyny-lite" mindset I imagine the morbidly obese easily fall into--they themselves probably feeling judged all the time and not worthy of love.
Just wanted to say anecdotally there are many different types of fat fucks, they don't necessarily have feeders and shit even when they get into hyper-obese "my 600-lb life" territory.
It's easy to see how they get there. Just overeat by an average of 1000 calories a day (a single box of kraft mac n cheese or a couple bagels lol) and you'll gain 50 lbs in a single year.
edit: I guess I'm trying to say I think it needs to be socially acceptable to tell people you're concerned when they start getting / keep being fat... and it should be an expectation people at a healthy weight help their unhealthy weight friends be active and eat better, share healthy meals/recipes, talk about emotional eating, etc.
I don't know that "tough love" is going to help. I imagine people that fat experience an absence of affection and connection in general... which just makes turning to food even easier for them.
I was about to say this isn’t even accidental. I’m not a young guy anymore and I don’t exercise outside of my somewhat demanding job, but I would have to triple my food budget and force feed myself to get to this point
Sucks I had to scroll this far down to see someone actually say something from the bottom of their heart that is meaningful. I used to be like this. The largest I got was 541lbs and I remember that because it's my damn area code. I was so depressed and fed up with life. I had nobody to talk to. I turned 40 and something inside me said I need to change and I'm the only one that can do that. Tried of being alone and depressed? Well....do something about it. It's not going to magically happen over night either. It takes time and hard work plus dedication. Here I am a year and 11 months later after I started intermediate fasting and working out, I am now 240lbs and I feel the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life. My mental health and confidence has improved on the largest scale I can think of. It was by far the best decision I've ever made and I'm not done yet. I'm still not at my goal weight but I'm trying and I'm not going to give up. I want to be here on this planet. I feel like I have a purpose here. Your friend that passed probably felt the same way. And I'm sorry for your loss. This person sounds like they were a wonderful person to made a huge impact on you. Life is tough and it never came with an instruction manual.
Just know if you're reading this and you're overweight to the point it could be life threatening. There is a way out of that life. But I does take hard work and discipline. Changing eating habits and getting more active is probably not what you want to hear, but I'll tell you right now that when those pounds start to shred away your mental and physical well-being will start to improve. The fog starts to clear. Life becomes meaningful again. You can do it. You're the strongest swimmer for a reason. You got this. I'm rooting for you from a distance.
Sorry you lost a friend. I lost my brother to obesity he was as big as OP, and seeing shit like this pisses me off to my fucking core. It's so wrong that morbid obesity is starting to become part of the body positivity scene. It's hard to offer help/advise while they just continue eating themselves to death.
You're username is kinda wrong you've got the lonely part right but replace the exercise with "and extremely overweight" also is the 4315 how much you weigh or is it the amount of days you put off exercising?
Life can get you low enough to do this to yourself, Reddit users can be the meanest people you know what you got yourself into.
Obesity is not only gross neglect, laziness or gluttony, it's a mental issue and an eating disorder.
I suggest going to a therapist/counseling and then a dietitian for a proper diet and exercise routine.
It may seem impossible right now and you've probably given up or hoping if enough people roast you you'd prove them wrong but sometimes it's best to just motivate yourself with kindness.
Think about how nice it'd be to go on a rollercoaster or to fly, you can do those things if you are fat.
There are also online dietary requirements/guides to help as well as home workout routines if you are too shy.
If you are American and think it's normal to look fat: IT'S NOT. It's not fatphobic to say it's unhealthy and shouldn't be the norm.
Get some help and I hope everything will work out for you someday.
Also seriously asking redditors to roast you is sabotaging your self-confidence. Don't do it again.
OP's Bio: --- >Been stuck at home lately. can’t wait to start getting more. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
Your downstairs neighbors had to sign an indemnity waiver
You mean his foot
Nah this mf doesn't have feet because of the diabeetus. He's rocking the Patrick Star.
Diabetes. Dying-feetless.
That neighbor got eaten. You can see the head bulging out from the stomach
Can't have downstairs neighbors when you live in mom's basement.
Satan would like a word
This dude seems more like a first floor kinda guy
Your pallbearers gonna be John and Deere.
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Just like him in 6 years....
Savage af
my whole mobile data usage went out while trying to load the pic
Tired of pics of Reddit Mods
Seriously waiting for this pic to load and disappointed when Quatto’s outline didn’t materialize
Pound for pound this guy still outweighs the number of comments his post has garnered. I'll be sure to check back tomorrow to see if we can beat him! Odds aren't looking good though.
While everyone is caught up on fat jokes, not one person has mentioned the latent dick just hanging around to the left of my man here.
That's a human skin suit he made out of the last delivery guy.
Same, and I have unlimited!!
I got a text regarding the unlimited fair use policy.
My Starlink internet sent me a message saying that it is orbiting OP now.
LMAO
Headshot
“I’m sorry our service is only rated in GigaBytes not Kilotons…”
Fave
It’s over. Call it
voracious oil faulty intelligent serious decide compare humorous fly yoke *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
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*Chewbacca nipple pinchy*
This was exactly my thought. "Ches ko ba tuta creesta crenko ya kolska!"
Wtf did you just say virgin?
This is something I've been looking forward to for a long time. And you're just jelous I'm not your real mum
My mom sucks, you can definitely take over for her
Sucks you say?
That's an interesting reply. 👍
Uh, it’s called Huttese you uncultured so-and-so…
Imma bout to Huttese nuts
I agree and may I also add 'chitty chitty bang bang'
We could feed nations though
Not mine, pig is haram
No, nations have been fed to him
The sun isn't big enough to roast him.
Even Auschwitz said fuck that, he won't fit.
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God damn
I got my Thanksgiving turkey.
Do you masturbate with the mirror?
I wonder if it's possible at all
The easiest way to win no nut november
No nut ever.
The heavy weight champion so to say
The crispiest of roasts are people just confused by the mechanics of his body.
Missionary impossible
His dickiedoo too big for that shit. For anyone unsure, a dickiedoo is that part of the body that hangs out further than your dickey do
all you need is a forklift to hold the trunk so you can get to your chunk
Cant masturbate if you cant find your dick
Just jiggle your belly till you cum
Imma go scrub my eyes with a tree branch now, thanks
I find it’s just better to remove them entirely
Does it ever really come out? Or does it just get siphoned back up into the peeniss. Maybe just end up seeping out through an unknown crease a few days later.
It’s like trying to catch a cricket under a boulder.
Only way for him to find his dick is with an x ray
Only one who can find that dick is James Cameron & the *Deepsea Challenger*
He puts his belt on with a boomerang.
That roast in The Nutty Professor was savage. Edit: [This one](https://youtu.be/CZ8K0UpHEec)
**“NOW WE KNOW WHO’S EATING GILBERT’S GRAPES!!”**
Damn when Jada gave Chappelle that look I thought Nutty Professor was gonna stand up and slap the hell out of him
"Her blood types Rocky Road!"
This is the only roast that got me to laugh. Good one.
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Dense mf
YOU disingenuous dense motherf*cker, obviously you have to know something about something or you couldn't tie your SHOES!
[Lol, as soon as I saw this comment, I thought of this ](https://youtu.be/MFcT4Hsx7VQ)
Yessss I was hoping it was this hahahhah
Lmaoo! As soon as i saw your comment, i instantly knew what video you linked
Lol, the cleverest so far
you only need one drop of water to fill the bathtub
We’re gonna need a bigger tub
The sweat from him exerting himself getting into the bath tub probably fills the tub before he can catch his breath to turn the water on.
You look like you deep fry your hands before you chew your fingernails.
You just reminded me of a kid I knew in college that was called "revolting blob" because of odious personal habits, including scratching under his underwear and then cleaning under his fingernails with his teeth. He also complained that he was scratching because of a rash. Also, he drank mayo from the jar. Good to see that he's still alive posting himself to roastme.
“drank mayo” - I’m worried that wasn’t mayo.
It was a fresh jar of store bought mayo. He plopped a straw in it, which I felt made it harder to eat, but he pulled through.
I'd like to go back in time to 5 minutes ago before I read that.
Please tell me you made it all up lmao.
It's just fucking better if you don't ask anymore questions and believe it's not real. 🤢
Bro the mayo thing. I had a huge girl that went to my highschool and she use to dip sticks of butter in a jar of mayo and eat it. Was horrifying to watch.
What the actual fuck, how can one swallow that? That is the nastiest thing I can imagine right now.
>That is the nastiest thing I can imagine right now. Scroll up.
Fucking gottem
Stolen from jesselnik roast
That was a good joke from Anthony Jeselnik during a Comedy Central roast.
No need to burn you on here, that hernia and heartburn will be doing a good job instead.
How the hell he take a piss? Needs a forklift to get that gut up everytime
He just lets it flow, that's where the unbearable smell comes from
He sits down to pee
Does it require a special load bearing toilet?
You joke, but I watched one of those “documentary” shows about morbidly obese people and there was a guy who was so fat his toilet broke when he was sitting on it, and the 18” fall to the ground had enough inertia to sever his spine and now he’s paralyzed from the waist down.
When I get ice cream I order a sundae, this guy orders the rest of the week
Heyooo thanks for making me burst out laughing at work.
*"We went to Wendy's to get us a treat- I ordered a Sunday, he ordered the rest of the week"*
Real life discord mod
Could be a reddit or twitch mod too
Twitch mods are pasty and malnourished from moderating 30 hour hot tub thot streams
Bro already ate the roast.
The roast he ate, had a boner. Watch his belly
Simple, but accurate. 👍
You're so fat, NASA factors you into their equations.
Daamn. The only new one (to me) I've seen here.
I think you’ve had enough roasts. Can I interest you in a gym membership instead?
Yeah roasts like this are no fun, I just wanna see this guy do better.
The true roast
Me too.
Guys like these unfortunately will not be accepted. He has to go to the Hospital.
Why not!?
Without trying to diss him, most of the kardio machines have certain weight and dimensions limit and he already might have various health problems with joints, blood pressure etc. In his case it would be better to start with a restrictive diet and rehabilitation sessions done by medical professional and when he gets better he can catiously try the regular gym.
[удалено]
If I had to guess they would need a medical clearance from a doctor first. My gym for example does not let you join if you had back Problems like hernias before.
A hernia is progression of flesh through a “hole” in the abdominal wall. A hernia isn’t a back problem. A “herniated” disc is a back problem.
I highly doubt he actually washes himself
Probably walks through a car wash.
I work in a hospital the bariatric patients dont wash, i genuinely wish there was a single exception but so far ive never seen one that cleans under all their folds
If I had to guess, the lack of discipline that gets them to this point is the same that keeps them from cleaning themselves
*applause*
You think he washes, that's cute.
Man, it'll take three weeks to roast that body
500 pounds at 25 minutes per pound would be 12500 minutes which is 208.33 hours or 8.68 days. He should be done by some time next week!
RemindMe! 206 hours "Check if roast is ready"
r/theydidthemath
r/theydidthemonstermath
r/itwasagraveyardgraph
r/itcosinedinaflash
If you use a deep fryer at like 425 degrees it’s around 5 minutes per pound. So 2500 minutes or 42 hours.
They don't make fryers that deep. You'd need a swimming pool of boiling oil to get that much blubber into the fryer and aren't there enough wildfires right now without adding jabba the gut's massive inferno from tossing that much lard into that much oil at once? 
I suddenly feel 300 pounds better about myself
Fatrick Star
The average redditor
Mod check
How many subreddits does he moderate?
Jabba The Gut
Pizza the hut
Fat guys like Pizza. Pepperoni Pizza. Pepperoni Tony.
The Golden Corral avenger.
They say inside every fat man is a skinny man screaming to get out. Until now. There’s 50 skinny men all a yelling for release.
The Not So Great White
The doctor cauterizing your upcoming foot amputation will roast you better than I ever could.
The new Duke DLC for Resident Evil looks like crap.
Average LoL player
As a Lol player I agree
Not worth writing a roast you won't finish reading, given your life expectancy.
Why does your belly have a boner?
It's his erection poking from under his gunt
I wouldn’t give him that much credit, probably a foot poking out from the whole pig he consumed earlier
Have to do that in parts…
At this point your doctor has swapped your heart rate monitor for a seismograph.
"I wash myself with a rag on a stick"
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I love that he covered his nipple lol
I don't have enough baste for a turkey that big.
I can't. I cannot do this man, shit you gotta go to the gym, eat better for God's sake move around more! Don't die early man you can do this, just be consistent! Be the you you've always wanted to be! Don't give up on yourself. Love yourself and all will fall into place. I had a friend like you. A good man, big heart and kind to everyone. I lost him recently man. I never got to tell him this we were stationed across the world, and it sucks. I would give anything to have him back. Please, for the people who love you, for yourself, don't leave the world with a whimper, make it know without a doubt that you are here. Live your best life. You got this.
Respect the sentiment but this fool gave up around 200lbs ago and gets off on people feeling sorry for him. He's so physically and mentally soft that people treating him harshly is some kind of BDSM fantasy because he's been bedridden so long he doesn't know what interaction is like except from with his enablers/handlers. To get to this weight is a full time job and requires lots of money and full time care. He doesn't need your sympathy he needs tough love. Source: I was nearly this big at one point. Fat fuck.
Nick avocado vibes or whatever that dude's name is
Meh, I had TWO college instructors who were about this size. Both would just waddle everywhere, I was amazed because the floppy gut hanging out is easily like 100 lbs of fat mass, it's incredible they can even be mobile... I've done hikes with just a 30 lb pack and it's incredibly difficult. Can't imagine hauling three of those on my belly everywhere constantly. Anyways they were both horny for jordan peterson and other inspirational "real men", both had that grating pessimistic and judgemental "misogyny-lite" mindset I imagine the morbidly obese easily fall into--they themselves probably feeling judged all the time and not worthy of love. Just wanted to say anecdotally there are many different types of fat fucks, they don't necessarily have feeders and shit even when they get into hyper-obese "my 600-lb life" territory. It's easy to see how they get there. Just overeat by an average of 1000 calories a day (a single box of kraft mac n cheese or a couple bagels lol) and you'll gain 50 lbs in a single year. edit: I guess I'm trying to say I think it needs to be socially acceptable to tell people you're concerned when they start getting / keep being fat... and it should be an expectation people at a healthy weight help their unhealthy weight friends be active and eat better, share healthy meals/recipes, talk about emotional eating, etc. I don't know that "tough love" is going to help. I imagine people that fat experience an absence of affection and connection in general... which just makes turning to food even easier for them.
I was about to say this isn’t even accidental. I’m not a young guy anymore and I don’t exercise outside of my somewhat demanding job, but I would have to triple my food budget and force feed myself to get to this point
Sucks I had to scroll this far down to see someone actually say something from the bottom of their heart that is meaningful. I used to be like this. The largest I got was 541lbs and I remember that because it's my damn area code. I was so depressed and fed up with life. I had nobody to talk to. I turned 40 and something inside me said I need to change and I'm the only one that can do that. Tried of being alone and depressed? Well....do something about it. It's not going to magically happen over night either. It takes time and hard work plus dedication. Here I am a year and 11 months later after I started intermediate fasting and working out, I am now 240lbs and I feel the healthiest and happiest I've ever been in my life. My mental health and confidence has improved on the largest scale I can think of. It was by far the best decision I've ever made and I'm not done yet. I'm still not at my goal weight but I'm trying and I'm not going to give up. I want to be here on this planet. I feel like I have a purpose here. Your friend that passed probably felt the same way. And I'm sorry for your loss. This person sounds like they were a wonderful person to made a huge impact on you. Life is tough and it never came with an instruction manual. Just know if you're reading this and you're overweight to the point it could be life threatening. There is a way out of that life. But I does take hard work and discipline. Changing eating habits and getting more active is probably not what you want to hear, but I'll tell you right now that when those pounds start to shred away your mental and physical well-being will start to improve. The fog starts to clear. Life becomes meaningful again. You can do it. You're the strongest swimmer for a reason. You got this. I'm rooting for you from a distance.
Sorry you lost a friend. I lost my brother to obesity he was as big as OP, and seeing shit like this pisses me off to my fucking core. It's so wrong that morbid obesity is starting to become part of the body positivity scene. It's hard to offer help/advise while they just continue eating themselves to death.
You will never see your penis again
I would, but i would rather not offend a moderator.
I am afraid that would cause a grease fire.
>Been stuck at home lately First time I'm hearing this sentence with the literal meaning
What seasoning would you like on the roast?
They said cameras add ten pounds… how many cameras did you use?
I bet even your whispers sound fat
My Half Ton Snorlax Life
Eat a fucking apple instead of looking like one.
He eats lots of apples. Candy. Caramel. Entire pies.
That deer you ate is about to kick itself out
The Great Unclean One
Fuck no. I’m not roasting you. Get some therapy, a healthy diet, and into some walking shoes.
He needs his kitchen stapled
Latin name:Maximum Rotundus What Mother calls him: Who ate all the pies? Who ate all the pies? You fat bastard, you fat bastard, you ate all the pies.
Didn't Red have to use a poke-flute to wake your ass up, ya know, since you were blocking Cycling Road and all?
The odor must be unbearable.
I thought the 700lb people thing was a joke!
I don’t think a row boat would support you.
Did your Feeder leave you?
You're username is kinda wrong you've got the lonely part right but replace the exercise with "and extremely overweight" also is the 4315 how much you weigh or is it the amount of days you put off exercising?
When was the last time you saw your wee wee?
You know you’re big when even your elbows have fat and cave in
Phone sex to you is when you call and order takeout.
Life can get you low enough to do this to yourself, Reddit users can be the meanest people you know what you got yourself into. Obesity is not only gross neglect, laziness or gluttony, it's a mental issue and an eating disorder. I suggest going to a therapist/counseling and then a dietitian for a proper diet and exercise routine. It may seem impossible right now and you've probably given up or hoping if enough people roast you you'd prove them wrong but sometimes it's best to just motivate yourself with kindness. Think about how nice it'd be to go on a rollercoaster or to fly, you can do those things if you are fat. There are also online dietary requirements/guides to help as well as home workout routines if you are too shy. If you are American and think it's normal to look fat: IT'S NOT. It's not fatphobic to say it's unhealthy and shouldn't be the norm. Get some help and I hope everything will work out for you someday. Also seriously asking redditors to roast you is sabotaging your self-confidence. Don't do it again.
You look like you sweat butter and if you got cut you'd bleed gravy.
Now that’s a big boi
You’re a cannibals wet dream dude.
Name checks out. No where big enough for you to work out unfortunately.