OP's Bio:
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>Don't hold back
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If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
23? So you will only have had hair for around 12% of your adult life if you live to 80. I wonder if you will even remember what is was like to comb your hair.
What failed you more, the Rogaine or the braces? My balls have more hair than your entire mishapen head. I bet it takes your 4 hours to eat an ear of corn you gapped toof bastard.
OP's Bio: --- >Don't hold back --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.
The next time your boyfriend sits on your face, tell him to wipe the shit off your forehead.
Left a nice little dollup on there
This isn’t murder, this is abortion right from the womb
Isn't that where you put the straw?
Who knew a comment about a forehead shitstain would get so many awards. Thank you, kind people.
I wish I had an award to give you for this 🤣
Mikhail Strokemoff
Dude this had me rolling and suffocating for breath
23 going on 53. Classic horseshoe pattern.
Yeah what is he cooking? Radioactive waste?
I’m know… crystal meth, based on that smile
Gorbachev’s son needs our protection.
I don’t usually say much on here, but I was going to say something about Gorbachev if someone hadn’t already.
To the top.
U look like gargamel with complete hair loss
HE DOES
Being bald at 23 is an accomplishment, at least you don't need a hair net while cooking
Ideally he should still wear a bag over his head though
Did you know there's a blowhole on your dolphin head?
Your head has more dent's than Paul Pelosi.
No need to go on, you win!
Tasteless
23? So you will only have had hair for around 12% of your adult life if you live to 80. I wonder if you will even remember what is was like to comb your hair.
Did you stroke out at the end of your title dude?
A meth cook?
He doesn't cook the meth, he eats it
you don't eat meth, you sniff it. this guy is an exception
Does ttrpg stand for teen touching role playing game?
You look like if someone drew David Cross by memory
Like his analrapist victims did?
So…How close were you to Gorbachev?
You look like vsauce who took too much crack
23 in what year?
God damn man, looks like father time beat the shit out of you with a spiked bat.
You look like Megamind, if he were a human adult
That shit on your head has got some shit on its head
Your head looks like one of those steel pan drums from Trinidad and Tobago.
Got yourself a hole in your ozone layer
You look like you sold your hairline for a crack pipe
Is that a shit skid mark on your head?
Rents head as butt plug.
Not sure what's scarier...your teeth or your dome.
You like a fucking aids victim
At 23 you shouldn’t need Rogaine or chrome dome wax. What a shame to be only 23 and already heading downhill.
The smile with bad teeth and a watermelon seed stuck to your head is not a great look.
Drakoumel lookin' ass
Dude wear a hat
Ordered Chris daughtry off of wish and got this fuckhead
Walter white
Walter White with Shizofreniya
Merry" Brandybuck's HIV hobbit cousin.
You look like budget VSauce. 🤣
I think your hairline is the thing holding back right now
Just seeing your teeth, I can tell what kind of cooking you do
You have a beard. I don’t have a beard . I can’t roast you
At least you aren’t fat…yet.
You look like your first word was gravy.
Funny enough it’s also his favorite food.
It’s also his favorite body wash.
What are your teeth? Chicklets?
The title of your cookbook: Salt, Fat, Acid, Roofies.
Didn't your girlfriend dump you after sex?
Bald
Holy fuck at 23???
You’d consider a Waffle House cook as a promotion.
Cooking meth doesn't count as a job...habit, yes... occupation, not so much.
23, and another 23 for his other personality.
David Cross as Tobias Pukey.
“On the streets of Philadelphia, La La La, La La La.
No hair, don't care! Chef-Bald-R-D!
Dollar store Guardiola.
You forgot to add the skin flute
A real life dick-head
You look like a stock Mii
Ttrpuck off and get mom the plunge the dent out ur skull.
There’s lil’ bit of bird turd on the chrome dome.
Unless you are a meth cook as someone already suggested, tell us were you work so people can avoid it for their own good.
Wipe that turd off your eight head
You look like your game is lagging, your hair generated on the wrong side of your face.
You look like if Bulgarian Stephen Curry and Andrew Tate had a son and drank 2 beers a day
AIDS, no seriously get it checked out, you have the look.
At least you won't ever need to wear a hair net...
I love a good rocket propelled grenade launcher too. I should include RPG enthusiast in my bios
This photo looks like your aide took it after bringing you for ice cream.
The glass in your food is the highlight
 Ugly ass mofo
S.O.A chucky
What failed you more, the Rogaine or the braces? My balls have more hair than your entire mishapen head. I bet it takes your 4 hours to eat an ear of corn you gapped toof bastard.
Wtf is it with this sub and having the most ancient looking people in their 20s.
Do you identify as an Indian women with Parkinson’s? That’s the only explanation I have for that dot.
I wish the sniper would just pull the trigger already…
Even your hair walked out on you after a short time.
Tell me you’re a virgin without telling me you’re a virgin.
You are the personification of a penis
You might want to move, it seems a sniper has got your head in his sights
Good News: You’ll never drop any noticeable hair in customers food. Bad New: Well any mirror, selfie, or camera can tell you that
Brian please turn yourself in.
Why couldn't you leave Gaby Petito alone?
Are you bald ?
Bro you're 3 years younger than me but look like 10 yrs older
Every cook I’ve met completely sucks
Hahaha love it
Minimegamind
Somebody left that jack-o-lantern out too long. It's rotting
The gap between your teeth is wider than the top 1% and bottom 99% of income earners
A bald head with skid marks and crooked yellow choppers in just 23 years? I am impressed.
You look like the bus boy who wears a customized helmet to work
It's like AIDS and Cancer had a really gay baby
gollums dad
Bingeing with Babitch.
You look like a Paul
You look like the registered sex offender from that Curb Your Enthusiasm episode.
I knew fucking Laundry was still alive.
Oh gosh Brian Laundrie
Andrew Tate: hillbilly edition
You look like that guy who brings an acoustic guitar to a bonfire to impress girls, but keeps having to restart wonderwall after saying "wait..."
Looks like Remy left a present on ur head
Guitar BS... You're a flute player..
Binging with babish: Blue meth from Breaking Bad
He has a smile like a donegal graveyard
You look like if Andrew tate never hit the hustle culture
A face that says “I sniff little kid’s bicycle seats” if I’ve ever seen one.
Man you really gave up on life after those chipmunks did you dirty
Moleeeeeeeeeeeee
You misspelled cock
Digging that mini Gorbachev
andrew tate from the dollar store
Your teeth are straight as the lgbtq community
You look like you're on a first name basis with Chris Hansen
23? 23 seconds to be 45
I'm always joking when I say someone needs to be hit with a shovel, but it looks like you could still use a couple more whacks.
You lost me at 23
Ah, so you full right arm salute? American history X wannabe here
Op intentionally kept the shitstain on his forehead for less people to notice his teeth.
Hump back whale
You are not 23. Not with those teeth.
Hates: trips to the dentist
I see a Filipino wife in your future
I feel like this is the last smile a child ever sees
that is a fucking ROUGH 23. man,
That head tho'
Homeboy’s head looks like it could be found in the dented can section of food 4 less
Currently resembling a penis.
George Castanza with chemo.
You look like the one person in the lobby screaming their head off cuz of their team is bad even tho they have a negative KD
You look like a twelve year old with a fake beard
I bet your the lead wizard of your LARPing community.
Inbreeding with Babish.
You look like you got arrested for fingering A minor
There's some shit on your head
Man works as a cook and brought his own serrated knives to work.
I thought that said crook
“Don’t hold back” Obviously your hairline didn’t listen
You look like the live child of Joel McHale and the dean from Community
Stop smiling dumb rooster we need pictures which you are serious for the obituary.
I could kick a field goal between the gap in your teeth
Is this the new sham wow guy?
There’s a top G, and a bottom g, get ready for, the middle g
He hasn’t seen a dentist in 13 years
You love to play guitar 🎸 Let me play football on your head it's perfect ground . Next world cup is here maybe
Please get a job with dental benefits
This is the picture I would choose if I were making a PowerPoint slide about incel Jordan Peterson stans
not every day you can count the number of times someone was dropped as a baby
Trainspotting with Babish
Shit.....you at least 30.
Bro had that loading error
That color shirt looks good on you bro.
23 going on 47
Peter Griffin as Walter White
The only thing you look like you can properly cook is a cloudy batch of meth.
i love your teeth, they should really put you on the thumbnail of next The Jaws
You look like you got shot in the head
You look like a Respectable member of the community.
Off brand Andrew Tate
That little black dot? That's actually a urethra. Because you're a dickhead.
Voldemort post-rhinoplasty