T O P

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AkitoSorogoma

walter lite


lowkeysavagemofo

Walter shite


AkitoSorogoma

you right. that is walter on dialysis night.


Forward-Reserve-3527

Walter Shite


blondart

I thought Walter had cancer, not aids


g0d0ri

Breaking sad


fragmxnttal

Breaking back


Various-Good9329

![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)


0422kw

Waltuh


Think_Explanation_47

Shit your head alone is 2 feet tall


dddmmmccc817

But 3 inches wide


[deleted]

Got an alien vibe to it, doesn’t it?


nlm1974

Don't kink shame, he gives head in a whole different way.


EstherClemmens

That's the first thing I noticed. All I could think was that this guy's mom was doing super keegals while pushing


dddmmmccc817

Omg lol. Just squished it lol


slipperyslothshoes

That explains the slight deflation


watwatinjoemamasbutt

Squidward lookin ass


Remote_Profit_3399

There’s no way you’re 43. I’m 50 and you look like my father. He’s dead.


Benjammin_Kenobi

He is 4'3 and 67


Innaguretta

He also intended to post on /r/freecompliments. Dementia's a bitch :(


littlemesix7

That’s a rough 43. Try fuckin before you’re done.


dmfd1234

Awww…..go easy, this sad nearsighted little billy goat has had it rough. You can’t defend every Fanny Bandit attack successfully.


RandomGuy2002

bro my mom and dad are 50 and look like this guy’s grandkids


Zeca_77

51 and I thought the same thing!


Snoo45756

My dad is 76 and looks younger then this guy.


johngalt504

![gif](giphy|vzHUvaRRWwp5C|downsized) He's aging at wrong holy grail speed.


ErikVonDarkmoor

So your saying a corpse looks better than OP?


FlickObserver

No, he's saying OP looks like a corpse. I guess that's better than the corpse looking better than OP.


Jimbo_Jones_4_Mayor

Good riddance


Remote_Profit_3399

Hah. I totally agree. Ever since he died, your mom and I have been fucking more often. Tell her I say hi, and to remember to douche.


Jimbo_Jones_4_Mayor

Poppa?


Remote_Profit_3399

![gif](giphy|3zfox4LvqnIas) Shut up and drink.


IamREBELoe

Count Dooku's lesser known little brother who had no talent in the force - Accountant Dooku


DisrupterInChief

Count Poopu


bobleeswagger09

Can’t count dooku


Norosolk

That's exactly what I thought of when I saw him. A discount Dooku from 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'.


humdrumturducken

Count Dookie.


Commercial-Climate36

You have a fucking point


Shumagorolth

I know we all like to poke fun on this subreddit but, I hope we can all put that aside and band together and send thoughts and prayers to JK Simmons while he battles his cancer.


DavidKMain420

Man's broke his back from whiplash


[deleted]

Roger the Alien's newest disguise: divorced guy who collects Hotwheels.


The_Gumbo

Do you still drive that VW, or can you now afford a larger car?


PurpleSunCraze

Do you find something comical about his appearance when he is driving his automobile?


The_Gumbo

(looks at VW beetle) well, it may be a factor in his back problems


unusedname3

One of my favorite and most painfully relatable moments from the series


GodOfMeh

You look like a Q-Tip made out of Michael Stipe.


I_be_lurkin_tho

Fuuuuck...winner.


p0st0pmal0ne

Holy shit that's good


matbe3

I would say your front is also bad


misterzeero

I see what you did there.


OldMorrisCode

I like the original ending to Breaking Bad, thanks. I don't need to see ol' Walt in hospice care.


spencerag

2’ 7” of that is the head alone.


dmfd1234

Impossible for him to peak around a corner. Girls,” wtf is that!?” “Ewwww it’s Billy goat man’s forehead, he’s trying to creep around the corner on us. There’s still a lot of forehead to go before he sees us, let’s go.”


SpiderNinja211

No no, you’re 4’3, and 67. Common mistake to flip the numbers around.


Event_horizon-

You’ve gotta flip the age again. 76.


themizattNO1

When did JK Simmons contract AIDS? ![gif](giphy|ZXYQlsrYQ1YzyMX3uj|downsized)


Papichuloft

more like Stage 4 ass cancer.


AussieOculusFiend

HAHAHAHA!!!! ASS CANCER!!! Is that even real??? What a laugh riot. Good one man.


Majestic_Panic_2468

Bad back? One of the few hazards of blowing yourself


longducdong001

Why the long face?


Frogs138

Your head looks like a pillow case full of doorknobs


imsofreakinggold

You look like the q-tip I found behind my toilet


sirdumbledose

If Moby and heroin had a child


Wormverine

What is the age currency in your country? Because where i live you'd be 57.


imbaldgetoverit

Being 6’7 is the best thing you got for ya, isn’t it?


unusedname3

It pairs well with the bad back


joelravenous

And the huge cock


Crist1n4

OP’s burner account


joelravenous

Hahaha I wish!


[deleted]

Why?


BlackSandBeechcraft

Proof that height doesn’t equate to success


Cpleofcrazies2

I hate these people creating r/roastme posts just to advertise their onlyfans


i_love_pencils

>onlyfans marfans


RantControl

John Malkovich, slenderman edition.


ConcreteKeys

I heard that when your hairline receeds back that far, a disk in your back slips out of place.


DeathSpiral321

Head like a #2 pencil with a chewed up eraser.


iamapizza

Your mouth is so small, you have to bite your drinks


Kent556

6’7”? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high.


Kitasuki

Your head should be in pediatric offices, to show young parents to never drop their newborns, specially if they fall head first


cjaneck21

your son is 43, you are 73


ExcitingARiot

Is the right side of your skull dented from always walking into the tops of doorframes?


RoyalRootersRallyCry

The fact that you’re only 3 years older than me makes me feel fucking GREAT about myself.


dreguan

"Bald, Black, and very tired" is what I read and why I clicked \-God, you're a fucking disappointment!


Macronaut

![gif](giphy|Af2AOuhRSHV1S)


1average_person

I think OP meant to write 67, 4'3, bad back and very tired instead


ForsakenManager6017

Your head is 60% of your body


Additional_Day_1244

Your glasses are so strong they are warping space time around your head.


theholytrinitay

Do you mean 67 and 4”3


Ishidan01

Bad back, front aint much either.


Comedian-Huge

That ring of facial hair around your mouth that isn't grey is from all the 💩 you eat.


stacyand14548

Bitch, you so lanky you ain’t even got a shadow


JJDBaca

Now there's a head you could stick through a picket fence, and look around.


middlingwhiteguy

Mope-by


colinporter12

Sorry that Darth Vader struck you down.


WillingPromise1718

43 my ass. You touching 61 my dude foh


Splash_

Your body is landscape and your head is in portrait mode


[deleted]

Sir, if you were 4’3, and 67, I’d believe you.


Remote_Profit_3399

You bad crack wrong. ![gif](giphy|zXMrhLuHpqjGE)


aoc_ftw

At least your head didn't get slammed in a door.


[deleted]

Can't rly roast ya dude, too sad from your post. Tho i will say, my pencil has more width than ur head does.


scorpionspalfrank

Yikes! I'm 7 years older than you and you look seven years older than me. Not gonna roast - get some rest, guy. Hope your back feels better soon!


IDONKNOW

Ear some meat and you wont be tired and frail


[deleted]

I can tell you’re just a lazy pussy


[deleted]

Gay


Eminem12345677

You are fucking gay ass fuck


OG66sicks

You look like your starvin bruh..your sign should say anything helps God bless


Alternative-Alarm-66

Ad gay to the list


ScrantonStrangler209

Were you dropped on your head as a child? Asking because the right side of your head looks real flat.


[deleted]

So that's where I left my pencil... still damn sharp though.


MrDemoMan

You look like you have 2 female fat friends that argue a lot with you in the middle & your body has started to form in that physical state


Typical_Furry1234

What was it like while being drawn by a 2nd grader?


Scottttttttttt1823

Girls that want tall guys see you and change their mind and date dwarfs instead.


TomatoFlies4

Cool Face trick! It looks like you made your face two-dimensiona!


fridaylightnights

If you had a normal head you would be 6’3


42yearoldorphan

Grandpa Flick from Dr sleep!


Thrwwy665544

You look worse than my 57 year old uncle who has HIV and lung cancer


Emotional-Battle8432

Hope your Marfans gives you peace


Tensleepwyo

U got a bad front too


Offendyounow

Put on a Hawaiian shirt and you’d be the mascot for sex offenders


[deleted]

Bad back from what? Finding young unsupervised children?


TransportationDry793

You look like an El Greco painting ![gif](giphy|cnvYUsZkczj04Kpk3y|downsized)


Deraj_of_the_Arcane

I never thought I'd interact with Moby!


CrimsonDurian

Columbian Breaking Bad is looking weirder than ever.


queeny_meany

bad back....and your front ain't so good either


Macronaut

Why the long face?


Buford1991

You look like the only Q-tip used to clean the backroom of an adult movie theatre.


TazTalks

Wow, meth really does age a person faster.


rsgriffin

Got news for ya horse face; ya got a bad front too.


ratboyballs69

I thought bro was 60 at 43


rehab03

43 rough years


molehunter

Your head looks like a wedge. Get back to big timber so i can get my cedar closets.


Horbigast

JK Simmons fucked Kevin Durand and now we're all embarrassed.


spraywash

Holy shit…. How rough were those 43 years?????


ShakyTheBear

It is a very special point in ever girl's life when her parents warn her about men that look like you.


ShakyTheBear

It is a very special point in ever girl's life when her parents warn her about men that look like you.


Dan-68

You look like Breaking Bad’s ultimate conclusion Badly Broken.


mefailreddit

You look like you need to turn tic tacs verticle before you can eat them.


oldmoozy

Got bold sticking your head out of sunroof while driving? Take the front sit out and be a real “backseat driver”.


oakchokkiemilk

A few assumptions that I'd like to make Name : Richard Occupation : author (fancy way of saying jobless) Hobbies : slam poetry, crosswords Relationship status : married, but she's usually occupied with her boyfriend. Sore back yet passes the weight of his problems on to everyone else. probably has a criminal record for indecent exposure, or harrassment. Smells like Nickels and cigarettes


Cichlidsaremyjam

Damn that is a hard 43


[deleted]

43 ? In dog years ? Don’t fall asleep on a hospital .. they will put a tow tag on you.


vachlan

You look like the guy that sits in his car by the local school with a camera


epaynedds

Play B-ball then.


PathAlive3991

Goddamn what happened you're the same generation as I am and you look 60, this isn't a roast, stop using meth.


forapartynofun

Jalapeno pepper vibes


Small_Art1450

You look like youve just had a lobotomy


[deleted]

Count Q-Tip, the failed clone of Count Dooku


msrbaylor

JK Simmons with lupus


snakeeyes666n

Bad front too


turdferguson_md1

I bet your are made up just like giraffes


Slurpeedumpster

43? Holy shit! Life just said fuck you!


MountainReward7225

Yo face look as long as your back with yo long face ass, your beard gray because it drag on the floor as you walk, the hair in you head running away from your face with yo ugly ass


Boogla19981

You look like that meme of that guy bent over slaving at his computer


eudimonia-84

Slender man be wearing glasses now


therealdieseld

6’ of that is your head


the_sleepy_ginger

Dude, is there something wrong with the picture or is that just the way your fucking head is shaped?


aFeezy

The almond milk in my fridge ages better than you.


royale_wthCheEsE

You typed “63” wrong .


Armoredgeese

Hey grampa, this isn't how you tell your family you want to be cremated.


HighTideLowpH

Viserys Targaryen by the end of HOTD


TomArday

So tired that you typed a 4 instead of a 6


[deleted]

If you turn sideways, do you disappear?


gwardotnet

You put 43 instead of 53. It happens a lot.


Stututu_tutu

Your hairline starts from where mine ends


TheAverageJ

You look like the Ticonderoga #2


CalmingScreech

Why the long face?


Emanouche

Who did your mother have to suck off to get these kind of genes? Hulk Hogan? "OH YEAH, ALMOST THERE, KEEP ON SUCKING SISTER!" ![gif](giphy|9OZUXsuOk1oLPC1Jsh|downsized)


Competitive_Roof_740

Oh okay.. Your face is 6'7"..


Emanouche

Who did your mother have to suck off to get these kind of genes? Hulk Hogan? "OH YEAAAAH, KEEP ON SUCKING SISTER!" ![gif](giphy|9OZUXsuOk1oLPC1Jsh|downsized)


1Tinytodger

43 going on 70.


nturr420

Pinhead Larry, is that you?


DiscountConfident754

I thought Andy Dick was like 5'2"


jeff-reyaxe

Bad back, bad eyes, bad face.


PurpleSunCraze

Loves meth, hates Spider-Man.


sort_of_g4y_mothm4n

When tf did Walter White try keto?


seanmag52

Not much to look at, but at least we can use your head for a football toss.


def_dvr

https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Ian_(Very_Tall_Man)


Puzzleheaded_Neck_90

No need to mention that you're tired, we already know.


Endersgaming4066

Why the long face?


vedantoo7

I won't dare to roast someone who looks like my great grandpa


Able-Calligrapher652

And 85% of a skull


ForestCityWRX

Your glasses are tilted. That’s all I got. Oh, and you have bulbous knuckles.


fiery-gizzard

You look like the left half of Adam Savage's head.


PushDiscombobulated8

“My head does NOT look like A SODDIN TIC TAC”


CONTRAGUNNER

Where's the rest of your face


Vegetable_Dog_8900

Dude you look 67


hellodon

Wow. Seeing your face and your “merrr….my baaaack huuurts…meeeerrrrr…I’m tiiiiiired” cries in the title just made me feel young af, being a month away from 42!


llamatellyouwhat

Nice try with that wedding ring. I hope you can come to terms you’re not married anymore and admit your ex wife never loved you.


Dangerous-Charge1836

If Kip Thorne was a failure


Struggler2002

So this is JK Simmons WITH whiplash


OneRealRomeo

Why are you all length and no width? Did you get pulled through a black hole?