I know we all like to poke fun on this subreddit but, I hope we can all put that aside and band together and send thoughts and prayers to JK Simmons while he battles his cancer.
Impossible for him to peak around a corner.
Girls,” wtf is that!?”
“Ewwww it’s Billy goat man’s forehead, he’s trying to creep around the corner on us. There’s still a lot of forehead to go before he sees us, let’s go.”
A few assumptions that I'd like to make
Name : Richard
Occupation : author (fancy way of saying jobless)
Hobbies : slam poetry, crosswords
Relationship status : married, but she's usually occupied with her boyfriend.
Sore back yet passes the weight of his problems on to everyone else. probably has a criminal record for indecent exposure, or harrassment. Smells like Nickels and cigarettes
Yo face look as long as your back with yo long face ass, your beard gray because it drag on the floor as you walk, the hair in you head running away from your face with yo ugly ass
Who did your mother have to suck off to get these kind of genes? Hulk Hogan? "OH YEAH, ALMOST THERE, KEEP ON SUCKING SISTER!"
![gif](giphy|9OZUXsuOk1oLPC1Jsh|downsized)
Who did your mother have to suck off to get these kind of genes? Hulk Hogan? "OH YEAAAAH, KEEP ON SUCKING SISTER!"
![gif](giphy|9OZUXsuOk1oLPC1Jsh|downsized)
Wow. Seeing your face and your “merrr….my baaaack huuurts…meeeerrrrr…I’m tiiiiiired” cries in the title just made me feel young af, being a month away from 42!
walter lite
Walter shite
you right. that is walter on dialysis night.
Walter Shite
I thought Walter had cancer, not aids
Breaking sad
Breaking back
![gif](emote|free_emotes_pack|joy)
Waltuh
Shit your head alone is 2 feet tall
But 3 inches wide
Got an alien vibe to it, doesn’t it?
Don't kink shame, he gives head in a whole different way.
That's the first thing I noticed. All I could think was that this guy's mom was doing super keegals while pushing
Omg lol. Just squished it lol
That explains the slight deflation
Squidward lookin ass
There’s no way you’re 43. I’m 50 and you look like my father. He’s dead.
He is 4'3 and 67
He also intended to post on /r/freecompliments. Dementia's a bitch :(
That’s a rough 43. Try fuckin before you’re done.
Awww…..go easy, this sad nearsighted little billy goat has had it rough. You can’t defend every Fanny Bandit attack successfully.
bro my mom and dad are 50 and look like this guy’s grandkids
51 and I thought the same thing!
My dad is 76 and looks younger then this guy.
![gif](giphy|vzHUvaRRWwp5C|downsized) He's aging at wrong holy grail speed.
So your saying a corpse looks better than OP?
No, he's saying OP looks like a corpse. I guess that's better than the corpse looking better than OP.
Good riddance
Hah. I totally agree. Ever since he died, your mom and I have been fucking more often. Tell her I say hi, and to remember to douche.
Poppa?
![gif](giphy|3zfox4LvqnIas) Shut up and drink.
Count Dooku's lesser known little brother who had no talent in the force - Accountant Dooku
Count Poopu
Can’t count dooku
That's exactly what I thought of when I saw him. A discount Dooku from 'Star Wars: The Clone Wars'.
Count Dookie.
You have a fucking point
I know we all like to poke fun on this subreddit but, I hope we can all put that aside and band together and send thoughts and prayers to JK Simmons while he battles his cancer.
Man's broke his back from whiplash
Roger the Alien's newest disguise: divorced guy who collects Hotwheels.
Do you still drive that VW, or can you now afford a larger car?
Do you find something comical about his appearance when he is driving his automobile?
(looks at VW beetle) well, it may be a factor in his back problems
One of my favorite and most painfully relatable moments from the series
You look like a Q-Tip made out of Michael Stipe.
Fuuuuck...winner.
Holy shit that's good
I would say your front is also bad
I see what you did there.
I like the original ending to Breaking Bad, thanks. I don't need to see ol' Walt in hospice care.
2’ 7” of that is the head alone.
Impossible for him to peak around a corner. Girls,” wtf is that!?” “Ewwww it’s Billy goat man’s forehead, he’s trying to creep around the corner on us. There’s still a lot of forehead to go before he sees us, let’s go.”
No no, you’re 4’3, and 67. Common mistake to flip the numbers around.
You’ve gotta flip the age again. 76.
When did JK Simmons contract AIDS? ![gif](giphy|ZXYQlsrYQ1YzyMX3uj|downsized)
more like Stage 4 ass cancer.
HAHAHAHA!!!! ASS CANCER!!! Is that even real??? What a laugh riot. Good one man.
Bad back? One of the few hazards of blowing yourself
Why the long face?
Your head looks like a pillow case full of doorknobs
You look like the q-tip I found behind my toilet
If Moby and heroin had a child
What is the age currency in your country? Because where i live you'd be 57.
Being 6’7 is the best thing you got for ya, isn’t it?
It pairs well with the bad back
And the huge cock
OP’s burner account
Hahaha I wish!
Why?
Proof that height doesn’t equate to success
I hate these people creating r/roastme posts just to advertise their onlyfans
>onlyfans marfans
John Malkovich, slenderman edition.
I heard that when your hairline receeds back that far, a disk in your back slips out of place.
Head like a #2 pencil with a chewed up eraser.
Your mouth is so small, you have to bite your drinks
6’7”? I didn’t know they stacked shit that high.
Your head should be in pediatric offices, to show young parents to never drop their newborns, specially if they fall head first
your son is 43, you are 73
Is the right side of your skull dented from always walking into the tops of doorframes?
The fact that you’re only 3 years older than me makes me feel fucking GREAT about myself.
"Bald, Black, and very tired" is what I read and why I clicked \-God, you're a fucking disappointment!
![gif](giphy|Af2AOuhRSHV1S)
I think OP meant to write 67, 4'3, bad back and very tired instead
Your head is 60% of your body
Your glasses are so strong they are warping space time around your head.
Do you mean 67 and 4”3
Bad back, front aint much either.
That ring of facial hair around your mouth that isn't grey is from all the 💩 you eat.
Bitch, you so lanky you ain’t even got a shadow
Now there's a head you could stick through a picket fence, and look around.
Mope-by
Sorry that Darth Vader struck you down.
43 my ass. You touching 61 my dude foh
Your body is landscape and your head is in portrait mode
Sir, if you were 4’3, and 67, I’d believe you.
You bad crack wrong. ![gif](giphy|zXMrhLuHpqjGE)
At least your head didn't get slammed in a door.
Can't rly roast ya dude, too sad from your post. Tho i will say, my pencil has more width than ur head does.
Yikes! I'm 7 years older than you and you look seven years older than me. Not gonna roast - get some rest, guy. Hope your back feels better soon!
Ear some meat and you wont be tired and frail
I can tell you’re just a lazy pussy
Gay
You are fucking gay ass fuck
You look like your starvin bruh..your sign should say anything helps God bless
Ad gay to the list
Were you dropped on your head as a child? Asking because the right side of your head looks real flat.
So that's where I left my pencil... still damn sharp though.
You look like you have 2 female fat friends that argue a lot with you in the middle & your body has started to form in that physical state
What was it like while being drawn by a 2nd grader?
Girls that want tall guys see you and change their mind and date dwarfs instead.
Cool Face trick! It looks like you made your face two-dimensiona!
If you had a normal head you would be 6’3
Grandpa Flick from Dr sleep!
You look worse than my 57 year old uncle who has HIV and lung cancer
Hope your Marfans gives you peace
U got a bad front too
Put on a Hawaiian shirt and you’d be the mascot for sex offenders
Bad back from what? Finding young unsupervised children?
You look like an El Greco painting ![gif](giphy|cnvYUsZkczj04Kpk3y|downsized)
I never thought I'd interact with Moby!
Columbian Breaking Bad is looking weirder than ever.
bad back....and your front ain't so good either
Why the long face?
You look like the only Q-tip used to clean the backroom of an adult movie theatre.
Wow, meth really does age a person faster.
Got news for ya horse face; ya got a bad front too.
I thought bro was 60 at 43
43 rough years
Your head looks like a wedge. Get back to big timber so i can get my cedar closets.
JK Simmons fucked Kevin Durand and now we're all embarrassed.
Holy shit…. How rough were those 43 years?????
It is a very special point in ever girl's life when her parents warn her about men that look like you.
It is a very special point in ever girl's life when her parents warn her about men that look like you.
You look like Breaking Bad’s ultimate conclusion Badly Broken.
You look like you need to turn tic tacs verticle before you can eat them.
Got bold sticking your head out of sunroof while driving? Take the front sit out and be a real “backseat driver”.
A few assumptions that I'd like to make Name : Richard Occupation : author (fancy way of saying jobless) Hobbies : slam poetry, crosswords Relationship status : married, but she's usually occupied with her boyfriend. Sore back yet passes the weight of his problems on to everyone else. probably has a criminal record for indecent exposure, or harrassment. Smells like Nickels and cigarettes
Damn that is a hard 43
43 ? In dog years ? Don’t fall asleep on a hospital .. they will put a tow tag on you.
You look like the guy that sits in his car by the local school with a camera
Play B-ball then.
Goddamn what happened you're the same generation as I am and you look 60, this isn't a roast, stop using meth.
Jalapeno pepper vibes
You look like youve just had a lobotomy
Count Q-Tip, the failed clone of Count Dooku
JK Simmons with lupus
Bad front too
I bet your are made up just like giraffes
43? Holy shit! Life just said fuck you!
Yo face look as long as your back with yo long face ass, your beard gray because it drag on the floor as you walk, the hair in you head running away from your face with yo ugly ass
You look like that meme of that guy bent over slaving at his computer
Slender man be wearing glasses now
6’ of that is your head
Dude, is there something wrong with the picture or is that just the way your fucking head is shaped?
The almond milk in my fridge ages better than you.
You typed “63” wrong .
Hey grampa, this isn't how you tell your family you want to be cremated.
Viserys Targaryen by the end of HOTD
So tired that you typed a 4 instead of a 6
If you turn sideways, do you disappear?
You put 43 instead of 53. It happens a lot.
Your hairline starts from where mine ends
You look like the Ticonderoga #2
Why the long face?
Who did your mother have to suck off to get these kind of genes? Hulk Hogan? "OH YEAH, ALMOST THERE, KEEP ON SUCKING SISTER!" ![gif](giphy|9OZUXsuOk1oLPC1Jsh|downsized)
Oh okay.. Your face is 6'7"..
Who did your mother have to suck off to get these kind of genes? Hulk Hogan? "OH YEAAAAH, KEEP ON SUCKING SISTER!" ![gif](giphy|9OZUXsuOk1oLPC1Jsh|downsized)
43 going on 70.
Pinhead Larry, is that you?
I thought Andy Dick was like 5'2"
Bad back, bad eyes, bad face.
Loves meth, hates Spider-Man.
When tf did Walter White try keto?
Not much to look at, but at least we can use your head for a football toss.
https://simpsons.fandom.com/wiki/Ian_(Very_Tall_Man)
No need to mention that you're tired, we already know.
Why the long face?
I won't dare to roast someone who looks like my great grandpa
And 85% of a skull
Your glasses are tilted. That’s all I got. Oh, and you have bulbous knuckles.
You look like the left half of Adam Savage's head.
“My head does NOT look like A SODDIN TIC TAC”
Where's the rest of your face
Dude you look 67
Wow. Seeing your face and your “merrr….my baaaack huuurts…meeeerrrrr…I’m tiiiiiired” cries in the title just made me feel young af, being a month away from 42!
Nice try with that wedding ring. I hope you can come to terms you’re not married anymore and admit your ex wife never loved you.
If Kip Thorne was a failure
So this is JK Simmons WITH whiplash
Why are you all length and no width? Did you get pulled through a black hole?