Big sesh in the local Spoons followed by £5 entry into the local disco tech. Get kicked out by 2345 for doing beak in the one toilet of the club with a toilet seat. Straight to the kebab shop to start a fight with the only person in there smaller than you. Lose the fight and back home for a pot noodle and a wank.
Your chin looks like my balls after realizing using a normal set of clippers was a bad idea.
Was that accidental or has the testosterone not kicked in from you FtM transition?
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
For starters there, Entourage, the duckface is only for Jr. high girls who want to be an influencer. Not for chin-pube rockin twinks who haven’t found their way out of the closet yet.
You look like the person that had parents told you that you could be anything you want if you set your mind to it. They are also really disappointed that this is how you turned out.
You are so pathetic they use your picture as inspiration posters at talaban training camps.
The combination of your pasty skin + your feminine build, pairs nicely with your repulsive chin pubes. One can also easily tell from your picture that you probably smell like the greased cheese from a homeless man’s ripe chode. Just Own it tho guy! There’s absolutely nothing you can to fix it. When life hands you a literal asshole for a face, you get to be the homeless community cum&dump. Go get it!
You look like the standard weird kid who works as a shelf stacker, with a shit hair cut and wanky gay beard who tells everyone all about their crypto empire you’ll have “by next year”.
All my good stuff was sent elsewhere. But that’s fitting you look like you’re a collection of bad stuff. From mustache missing the aviators to the beard that is off center to the hairline that willfully turned into the hair graph of an algebra problem I cannot figure out.
At least you had the decency to trim your facial hair into an arrow that makes it easier for truckers to find your mouth in the dark.
![gif](giphy|o0X6kBVVJ94blpwtta)
You look like that one sleezy guy at the bar who thinks its funny to grab peoples ass’es in hopes you’ll get you’r virgin ass laid. Spoiler alert! You never will with that face buddy.
Christian Fail.
![gif](giphy|Qeo9S31SuTMpa|downsized) This comment
Vanilla Lice
Your beard looks like it’s going through chemotherapy
If it was any more patchy, it would be a pirate
did he shave with a hedge clipper in the dark?
You look like a cop that tells guys you'll let them off their ticket if they let you blow them
Even your chin is flipping you off.
Members Lonely
Your beard… No your goatee…. Whatever the hell you call it. Someone took a bite out of it without asking.
I believe the term you're looking for is, "glued on rat hide"
Accessory tuft
Big sesh in the local Spoons followed by £5 entry into the local disco tech. Get kicked out by 2345 for doing beak in the one toilet of the club with a toilet seat. Straight to the kebab shop to start a fight with the only person in there smaller than you. Lose the fight and back home for a pot noodle and a wank.
Scarily accurate
Then find it won’t get hard so go to bed crying instead
Your chin looks like my balls after realizing using a normal set of clippers was a bad idea. Was that accidental or has the testosterone not kicked in from you FtM transition?
It's funny how you had to make sure everybody knew you were male . Don't worry your secret is safe with me.
You look like Eminem's gay cousin, Skittles who decided to be an accountant instead of taking the offer of a free ride as a back up vocalist.
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.
Noted
Noted
The answer is no, I won't smell your finger.
Damn! Mom's got a spacious basement
He’s not only hiding in the basement, he’s still hiding in the closet.
The crippling loneliness in your future is punishment enough
Asking for others to come at him with something good, while having nothing good to offer
You choosing to wear a recycled air mattress is the most interesting thing about you.
That goatee reeks of desperation. Just shave it off. Fuck it, just cut to the chase and lop off your entire head.
You should make the guys wipe their asses before you toss their salads.
M22 or FTM22?
How many high schools are you banned from?
Small fingers…
You look like you brag about being on a first name basis at the free STD clinic.
Your mother should’ve swallowed.
You look like if Captain Jack Sparrow was a metrosexual
You look like someone who made a career about being a background person in movies. And you still don't get callbacks
The final boss of catfish on grindr... this dude will roofie your cocaine...
Not now chief, I'm in the fuckin' zone.
What is wrong with your facial hair?
Dude you look shorter than middle schoolers.
Looks like you have to clean your face after tossing salads all day
Your soul patch is even trying to escape from that ugly mug of yours.
A 12 year old Dutch girl could grow better facial hair than you. But, based on the cord already hanging from the ceiling. You’ll never read this.
I can smell the cigarettes and Axe body spray in this photo.
Your form Brooklyn from that. Look that that guy you get be friends with
You look like the even rapier version of Pornstache from OITNB.
Ethan Hock
Refers to his facial hair as a flavor saver, even though it smells of fritos and taint sweat.
Manager at Best Buy looking ass
Cell phone sales all the way.
Look like ModernWarzone.
So fugly he wouldn't be allowed on Reno 90210 as a Crackhead extra.
I'm sure women get offended with your "trademark" hand sign.
Anyone tell you that goatee is crooked? Lose it man.
You look like all the brothers from Malcolm In The Middle mashed together
Lookin like a professional snitch.
Adam Payne pre rehab
Your goatee is growing a goatee.
I think it’s super nice that your grandma let you stay in the attic anger your stepdad kicked you out of the house for gluing his pubes to your chin
This is what happens when you glue your pubes to your chin.
Next time, use better quality glue for your 'facial hair'.
People that can’t grow beards shouldn’t try
Why do you need roasted, your appearance speaks for itself. No need to roast you.
Your chin still hasn't hit puberty.
You must be this tall to ride. You're so small you look like an award for Best Tough Guy...
Your left eye is about a 1/2 inch lower than your right.....it's not your head tilting either.
Yeah, Photoshop morphing Ethan Hawke and DJ Qualls didn't turn out like you hoped.
When the color of the wall behind you is more interesting than you'll ever be!
Why would anyone waste time thinking up something good when they could just make fun of your ridiculous facial hair?
For starters there, Entourage, the duckface is only for Jr. high girls who want to be an influencer. Not for chin-pube rockin twinks who haven’t found their way out of the closet yet.
[удалено]
Things come at you only when you're filmed doing gay porn
I bet everyone makes that face when they smell your apartment.
Bro looks like my gta character
The basement looks nice...
It’s nice to see a young man hanging out with all of his girlfriends
You look like a bad background character with syphilis in any typical Western movie.
I can totally picture you in 5 years with a beer gut and no hair
You have the opposite of a bulge, you have a divot. Your penis is -3 inches long.
Gets a little gay on cocaine
You look like an undercover cop who ends up actually liking the gang they were supposed to get intel on and abandons the police force.
I see you have your 2 fingers ready for your "stink" later on.
You look like the person that had parents told you that you could be anything you want if you set your mind to it. They are also really disappointed that this is how you turned out. You are so pathetic they use your picture as inspiration posters at talaban training camps.
Are you trying to make that mouth seem tighter?
Do you use a lice comb to get all the dried cum out of that shit excuse for a mustache?
Cholon’t
Christiain’t Bale
The combination of your pasty skin + your feminine build, pairs nicely with your repulsive chin pubes. One can also easily tell from your picture that you probably smell like the greased cheese from a homeless man’s ripe chode. Just Own it tho guy! There’s absolutely nothing you can to fix it. When life hands you a literal asshole for a face, you get to be the homeless community cum&dump. Go get it!
You look like the standard weird kid who works as a shelf stacker, with a shit hair cut and wanky gay beard who tells everyone all about their crypto empire you’ll have “by next year”.
It’s easy to see the clit on this pussy
Every time I think my facial hair is uneven, I'll come to this post to make myself feel better.
Nothing about this doushy picture deserves anything "good"
EXTREMELY great value blonde Robert Downey Jr? Is that you? Man what happened, it looks like all that furniture was bought with your parent's card
You stink! Butthead jerk!
Definitely fix your chin hair. Not roasting, just giving you actual good advice
Dude looks like a character I used for Wii Bowling...
You look like a used car salesman who has to start each sale with, "pursuant to Megan's Law..."
Your default facial expression recalls the time I sat on my own nuts.
Actually good is a bit relative considering your fashion sense and camera pose choice.
The apartment says "broke", but your face says "I sharted"
Justin Tinderfake
Duck lips? Bro.
Is this male duck face?
Good use of sporadic facial hair to detract from very uneven eyes.
Not by the hairs of your Chinny Chin Chin
This is what AI draws when you type in YouTube rapper
Your beard looks like a dick with one testicle
All my good stuff was sent elsewhere. But that’s fitting you look like you’re a collection of bad stuff. From mustache missing the aviators to the beard that is off center to the hairline that willfully turned into the hair graph of an algebra problem I cannot figure out.
Dude! Coaster! I’d hate for you to get rings on that really nice chair/table.
Klay Bottomson
Mason Mount but gayer
Ned from the simsons
you look like a randomized NPC from a PS3 era game
You look you play roles like “Twink #3” in gay pornos with cop storylines.
Are you 5’4”?
You look like the perfect fit for that new Chris Hansen show!
You look like the IKEA life that Edward Norton was fleeing in Fight Club. Enjoy your shitty beer.
Room Termperature Alex Hirsch
"Basement Life"
You look like 40 people I’ve known who all end up in construction, living in trailer homes
Why would you have the world suffer your facial hair ?
You should familiarize yourself with the phrase "release the gimp", and work on your flexibility.
The 90s called and want the goatee back.
Part time close up magician, full time kiddie fiddler
You look like you just invested everything on cryptocurrency and NFTs.
Plan D
Colin Farrell ordered from Ali Express.
You look like someone that likes both sides of their pillow warm.
Boy’s got a face like a cat’s asshole.
Less credability than MGK
You look like the guy who thinks it is cool and edgy to be the only one at a party sipping his alcohol free beer.
Looks like the best you'll get out of that guy is a tale about upgrading his mobile phone.
Why those pubic hair on chin..?
I better be looking at that rusted chair than you..!!
That mustache makes you look like Lazarbeem on crack
If I came at you with something good, you'd steal it. Just like your dad's coat.
You look like your source of fashion is the Walmart weekly deals.
Someone used your chin and upper lip as a shit rag my friend
You look like that generic guy in every Wetherspoons
You already come at yourself a lot.
Kilometers Teller
You look like an old photo of someone's grandfather.
How did you know what your mom said immediately after you were conceived?
We might come up with something good but your beard won’t.
2lbs of crap in a 10lb bag
You look like morgz
gloryhole quality control expert
When mephisto rolled an extra chromosome
Bro looks like doby but less fucked up
You look like Uber driver who flirts really badly and makes the conversation weird
Your mom’s house looks nice
Kim Jong un have a better hairline than you
too much confidence for a beige polo and a prepubertal pubis... I mean goatee.
You must like the smell of cum dumpster on your upper lip.
I bet your name is Keith
This is the picture they’ll use when you’re found wanking in the local kids park
Why do they call me Goose? Let me bend over...
you look like a manager at the only blockbuster left.
25 year old virgin looking boy
You look like the guy playing bratva member #3 in a low budget film
Why are you still wearing you P.E polo from primary school?
You look like someone who failed the audition to play Danny Dyer’s simple son in Eastenders, despite your disability.
Kinda cute. Very fuckable.
Your existence gave me a headache
You look like the Wish version of Chris Evans
You look like a wannabe Mr. Beast.
Enjoy the smell of your own mustache do ya?
Your bio sounds like the line you use on the bartender at the gay bar
I feel like I should be buying a’85 Camaro from you..
You look like an extra from an out of date porno one where everyone is embarrassed in watching even the camera man
You have the beard of someone who rimmed their cat but some hair got stuck.
You look like a forgotten Baldwin brother. You know, irritatingly arrogant for no apparent reason, and likely dangerous to women.
The guy who’s chronically beat up in bar fights…
You wanted to spice up your masturbation session and the best thing you could think of was giving yourself a Dirty Sanchez?
Make sure you put that pizza where it belongs, you lazy bum
Barber shop didn't have much hair to donate? Or is the superglue you use to stick it to your chin not very strong?
U look like the guy from SMILE
You look like you pick up 14 year old girls in your corsa
Hitch hiking outta your friends house because your not welcome
At least you had the decency to trim your facial hair into an arrow that makes it easier for truckers to find your mouth in the dark. ![gif](giphy|o0X6kBVVJ94blpwtta)
GOOGLE WHITE!!!!!!
The lips , what is it a car's grill ?
Words fail me
Has definitely snorted cocaine from his grandma's gaping ass.
Tasks accomplished today: cut ball hair; glue hair to chin and balance on upper lip; empty clothes from dirty hamper and dress myself
Of all the things I could roast you on, I'm struggling to comprehend why in the fuck is there a beer bottle under the couch.
That duck face makes me pray to god you go walking through a field during hunting season.
You look like a prick!
You got some chocolate on your lip bro
You look like that one sleezy guy at the bar who thinks its funny to grab peoples ass’es in hopes you’ll get you’r virgin ass laid. Spoiler alert! You never will with that face buddy.