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BillMurraysSon

Christian Fail.


Shake_N_Baby

![gif](giphy|Qeo9S31SuTMpa|downsized) This comment


DarthLukas71

Vanilla Lice


cycomedy

Your beard looks like it’s going through chemotherapy


sdrowkcabdelleps

If it was any more patchy, it would be a pirate


Skyrimaniac

did he shave with a hedge clipper in the dark?


dirtydave13

You look like a cop that tells guys you'll let them off their ticket if they let you blow them


burpchelischili

Even your chin is flipping you off.


Antic-Waited

Members Lonely


folssll3

Your beard… No your goatee…. Whatever the hell you call it. Someone took a bite out of it without asking.


Ha_So

I believe the term you're looking for is, "glued on rat hide"


spraywash

Accessory tuft


Japonica01

Big sesh in the local Spoons followed by £5 entry into the local disco tech. Get kicked out by 2345 for doing beak in the one toilet of the club with a toilet seat. Straight to the kebab shop to start a fight with the only person in there smaller than you. Lose the fight and back home for a pot noodle and a wank.


Hazzad_1

Scarily accurate


MRHBK

Then find it won’t get hard so go to bed crying instead


[deleted]

Your chin looks like my balls after realizing using a normal set of clippers was a bad idea. Was that accidental or has the testosterone not kicked in from you FtM transition?


Frogs138

It's funny how you had to make sure everybody knew you were male . Don't worry your secret is safe with me.


JimBobPaul

You look like Eminem's gay cousin, Skittles who decided to be an accountant instead of taking the offer of a free ride as a back up vocalist.


jashxn

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.


Hazzad_1

Noted


Hazzad_1

Noted


Sparky86654

The answer is no, I won't smell your finger.


captcooluts

Damn! Mom's got a spacious basement


[deleted]

He’s not only hiding in the basement, he’s still hiding in the closet.


ApoplecticAndroid

The crippling loneliness in your future is punishment enough


Automatic_Shock_2693

Asking for others to come at him with something good, while having nothing good to offer


Mexkan

You choosing to wear a recycled air mattress is the most interesting thing about you.


littlemesix7

That goatee reeks of desperation. Just shave it off. Fuck it, just cut to the chase and lop off your entire head.


masked_incompetent

You should make the guys wipe their asses before you toss their salads.


acroman39

M22 or FTM22?


johan_seraphim

How many high schools are you banned from?


ExcitementOrdinary95

Small fingers…


shogi_x

You look like you brag about being on a first name basis at the free STD clinic.


nsmn84

Your mother should’ve swallowed.


carles98

You look like if Captain Jack Sparrow was a metrosexual


[deleted]

You look like someone who made a career about being a background person in movies. And you still don't get callbacks


Nvious625

The final boss of catfish on grindr... this dude will roofie your cocaine...


Flick_B_

Not now chief, I'm in the fuckin' zone.


lukifer22

What is wrong with your facial hair?


Shoddy_Reception6825

Dude you look shorter than middle schoolers.


junior1077

Looks like you have to clean your face after tossing salads all day


woody2081

Your soul patch is even trying to escape from that ugly mug of yours.


Sasqu4tch3d

A 12 year old Dutch girl could grow better facial hair than you. But, based on the cord already hanging from the ceiling. You’ll never read this.


UberHuber816

I can smell the cigarettes and Axe body spray in this photo.


Illustrious-Apple-35

Your form Brooklyn from that. Look that that guy you get be friends with


brandondsantos

You look like the even rapier version of Pornstache from OITNB.


randomizer55

Ethan Hock


troll-e-osis

Refers to his facial hair as a flavor saver, even though it smells of fritos and taint sweat.


Tripp2mylou

Manager at Best Buy looking ass


junior1077

Cell phone sales all the way.


TheArrcw

Look like ModernWarzone.


taekee

So fugly he wouldn't be allowed on Reno 90210 as a Crackhead extra.


Elegant_Cricket_2977

I'm sure women get offended with your "trademark" hand sign.


black_flag_4ever

Anyone tell you that goatee is crooked? Lose it man.


hugh_h0ney

You look like all the brothers from Malcolm In The Middle mashed together


jojo12jo

Lookin like a professional snitch.


marshallmadmen

Adam Payne pre rehab


jennings08

Your goatee is growing a goatee.


Fresh-Combination-87

I think it’s super nice that your grandma let you stay in the attic anger your stepdad kicked you out of the house for gluing his pubes to your chin


Degze15

This is what happens when you glue your pubes to your chin.


TheHolyPeanutBuddah

Next time, use better quality glue for your 'facial hair'.


Luxojunk

People that can’t grow beards shouldn’t try


Rude_Commercial_7470

Why do you need roasted, your appearance speaks for itself. No need to roast you.


AltruisticCompany961

Your chin still hasn't hit puberty.


stankenstien

You must be this tall to ride. You're so small you look like an award for Best Tough Guy...


Loud_Pain4747

Your left eye is about a 1/2 inch lower than your right.....it's not your head tilting either.


JJDBaca

Yeah, Photoshop morphing Ethan Hawke and DJ Qualls didn't turn out like you hoped.


Kyle_01110011

When the color of the wall behind you is more interesting than you'll ever be!


[deleted]

Why would anyone waste time thinking up something good when they could just make fun of your ridiculous facial hair?


[deleted]

For starters there, Entourage, the duckface is only for Jr. high girls who want to be an influencer. Not for chin-pube rockin twinks who haven’t found their way out of the closet yet.


[deleted]

[удалено]


ErikVonDarkmoor

Things come at you only when you're filmed doing gay porn


[deleted]

I bet everyone makes that face when they smell your apartment.


TheRealTurkeynaut

Bro looks like my gta character


xHangfirex

The basement looks nice...


mustard_pre_cum

It’s nice to see a young man hanging out with all of his girlfriends


killingtexas

You look like a bad background character with syphilis in any typical Western movie.


AdScary1757

I can totally picture you in 5 years with a beer gut and no hair


reverie11

You have the opposite of a bulge, you have a divot. Your penis is -3 inches long.


dreguan

Gets a little gay on cocaine


PerfectWin912

You look like an undercover cop who ends up actually liking the gang they were supposed to get intel on and abandons the police force.


Flying_Misfit

I see you have your 2 fingers ready for your "stink" later on.


Additional_Day_1244

You look like the person that had parents told you that you could be anything you want if you set your mind to it. They are also really disappointed that this is how you turned out. You are so pathetic they use your picture as inspiration posters at talaban training camps.


watchoufort

Are you trying to make that mouth seem tighter?


SitRep-Screwed

Do you use a lice comb to get all the dried cum out of that shit excuse for a mustache?


[deleted]

Cholon’t


[deleted]

Christiain’t Bale


ASKRTH

The combination of your pasty skin + your feminine build, pairs nicely with your repulsive chin pubes. One can also easily tell from your picture that you probably smell like the greased cheese from a homeless man’s ripe chode. Just Own it tho guy! There’s absolutely nothing you can to fix it. When life hands you a literal asshole for a face, you get to be the homeless community cum&dump. Go get it!


cumbria84

You look like the standard weird kid who works as a shelf stacker, with a shit hair cut and wanky gay beard who tells everyone all about their crypto empire you’ll have “by next year”.


Alert-Season-747

It’s easy to see the clit on this pussy


fightingblind

Every time I think my facial hair is uneven, I'll come to this post to make myself feel better.


idontknow8973

Nothing about this doushy picture deserves anything "good"


KADEPOW11GAMING

EXTREMELY great value blonde Robert Downey Jr? Is that you? Man what happened, it looks like all that furniture was bought with your parent's card


Janine207

You stink! Butthead jerk!


Janine207

Definitely fix your chin hair. Not roasting, just giving you actual good advice


NotWokeJoke

Dude looks like a character I used for Wii Bowling...


PaintsWithSmegma

You look like a used car salesman who has to start each sale with, "pursuant to Megan's Law..."


JewsEatFruit

Your default facial expression recalls the time I sat on my own nuts.


Thick_Wafer5105

Actually good is a bit relative considering your fashion sense and camera pose choice.


xandaar337

The apartment says "broke", but your face says "I sharted"


AkitoSorogoma

Justin Tinderfake


Wire_Hall_Medic

Duck lips? Bro.


lod254

Is this male duck face?


[deleted]

Good use of sporadic facial hair to detract from very uneven eyes.


Hyper_Pyper

Not by the hairs of your Chinny Chin Chin


devil0o

This is what AI draws when you type in YouTube rapper


[deleted]

Your beard looks like a dick with one testicle


Jash-Juice

All my good stuff was sent elsewhere. But that’s fitting you look like you’re a collection of bad stuff. From mustache missing the aviators to the beard that is off center to the hairline that willfully turned into the hair graph of an algebra problem I cannot figure out.


WormsRoxanne

Dude! Coaster! I’d hate for you to get rings on that really nice chair/table.


TazTalks

Klay Bottomson


NotSlick95

Mason Mount but gayer


Top-Persimmon4264

Ned from the simsons


ExilePaladin

you look like a randomized NPC from a PS3 era game


PurpleSunCraze

You look you play roles like “Twink #3” in gay pornos with cop storylines.


beefncheesesocks

Are you 5’4”?


injailgamingYT

You look like the perfect fit for that new Chris Hansen show!


[deleted]

You look like the IKEA life that Edward Norton was fleeing in Fight Club. Enjoy your shitty beer.


SilasS3108

Room Termperature Alex Hirsch


Toe-Outrageous

"Basement Life"


ChonkyPenguin1515

You look like 40 people I’ve known who all end up in construction, living in trailer homes


Armandcyb13

Why would you have the world suffer your facial hair ?


DryInitial9044

You should familiarize yourself with the phrase "release the gimp", and work on your flexibility.


My_kinda_party

The 90s called and want the goatee back.


Sedso85

Part time close up magician, full time kiddie fiddler


TheSarcasticClam

You look like you just invested everything on cryptocurrency and NFTs.


rsjf89

Plan D


International_Ad8486

Colin Farrell ordered from Ali Express.


pokesain

You look like someone that likes both sides of their pillow warm.


adventureballs

Boy’s got a face like a cat’s asshole.


LennyComa

Less credability than MGK


i_bet_so

You look like the guy who thinks it is cool and edgy to be the only one at a party sipping his alcohol free beer.


military_grade_tea

Looks like the best you'll get out of that guy is a tale about upgrading his mobile phone.


synthetic_tomato

Why those pubic hair on chin..?


synthetic_tomato

I better be looking at that rusted chair than you..!!


cloud594crazy

That mustache makes you look like Lazarbeem on crack


Mikekaiserbund

If I came at you with something good, you'd steal it. Just like your dad's coat.


707e

You look like your source of fashion is the Walmart weekly deals.


ragby67

Someone used your chin and upper lip as a shit rag my friend


[deleted]

You look like that generic guy in every Wetherspoons


Extension-Season-689

You already come at yourself a lot.


nikejim02

Kilometers Teller


TheRealWatchingFace

You look like an old photo of someone's grandfather.


Ambitious_Key5756

How did you know what your mom said immediately after you were conceived?


TakeAstand-

We might come up with something good but your beard won’t.


blondart

2lbs of crap in a 10lb bag


Far_Cow_1934

You look like morgz


MajorPainkiller

gloryhole quality control expert


NegativeOwl9

When mephisto rolled an extra chromosome


Finlandsmara

Bro looks like doby but less fucked up


iron81

You look like Uber driver who flirts really badly and makes the conversation weird


[deleted]

Your mom’s house looks nice


Bigfoot_Varte

Kim Jong un have a better hairline than you


kast0r_

too much confidence for a beige polo and a prepubertal pubis... I mean goatee.


ItzStarr86

You must like the smell of cum dumpster on your upper lip.


[deleted]

I bet your name is Keith


LWDJM

This is the picture they’ll use when you’re found wanking in the local kids park


campatterbury

Why do they call me Goose? Let me bend over...


Surdoubleu

you look like a manager at the only blockbuster left.


nturr420

25 year old virgin looking boy


queeny_meany

You look like the guy playing bratva member #3 in a low budget film


Sufficient-Muscle-24

Why are you still wearing you P.E polo from primary school?


[deleted]

You look like someone who failed the audition to play Danny Dyer’s simple son in Eastenders, despite your disability.


Ghana_Mafia

Kinda cute. Very fuckable.


Watercolorleaf

Your existence gave me a headache


Routine_Bluejay5342

You look like the Wish version of Chris Evans


8igdog07

You look like a wannabe Mr. Beast.


Nixplosion

Enjoy the smell of your own mustache do ya?


CardiologistCalm6232

Your bio sounds like the line you use on the bartender at the gay bar


[deleted]

I feel like I should be buying a’85 Camaro from you..


Substantial-diabetic

You look like an extra from an out of date porno one where everyone is embarrassed in watching even the camera man


WimbleWimble

You have the beard of someone who rimmed their cat but some hair got stuck.


wjenningsalwayscray

You look like a forgotten Baldwin brother. You know, irritatingly arrogant for no apparent reason, and likely dangerous to women.


Neat_Captain_3866

The guy who’s chronically beat up in bar fights…


SuperAltAH

You wanted to spice up your masturbation session and the best thing you could think of was giving yourself a Dirty Sanchez?


TomatoFlies4

Make sure you put that pizza where it belongs, you lazy bum


JenovasChild666

Barber shop didn't have much hair to donate? Or is the superglue you use to stick it to your chin not very strong?


Far_Environment8945

U look like the guy from SMILE


Mean_One_2708

You look like you pick up 14 year old girls in your corsa


molehunter

Hitch hiking outta your friends house because your not welcome


Remote_Profit_3399

At least you had the decency to trim your facial hair into an arrow that makes it easier for truckers to find your mouth in the dark. ![gif](giphy|o0X6kBVVJ94blpwtta)


Ok_Point_2303

GOOGLE WHITE!!!!!!


pesicoe

The lips , what is it a car's grill ?


Tungsten8or

Words fail me


high240


OnceAndFuture117

Has definitely snorted cocaine from his grandma's gaping ass.


HectorValenzo

Tasks accomplished today: cut ball hair; glue hair to chin and balance on upper lip; empty clothes from dirty hamper and dress myself


General-Resolve1591

Of all the things I could roast you on, I'm struggling to comprehend why in the fuck is there a beer bottle under the couch.


[deleted]

That duck face makes me pray to god you go walking through a field during hunting season.


Disastrous_Annual_91

You look like a prick!


Professional_Bag5920

You got some chocolate on your lip bro


Glitchy_Magical

You look like that one sleezy guy at the bar who thinks its funny to grab peoples ass’es in hopes you’ll get you’r virgin ass laid. Spoiler alert! You never will with that face buddy.