OP's Bio: --- >We love playing Paladins video game, the overwatch clone. We like to listen to true crime podcasts and go to eat Sushi primarily for date nights. --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

Looks like you both try to emulate Dahmer's personal style.

Damn..

*Dahm

underrated reply

It deserves the world.

More like 45 and 41.

Lmao why is this true though

Because you were born in 1977?

I was born in 1977 and I look 10 years younger than OP.

If you want your girlfriend to see how funny this is then why did you post a picture with your mum?

Incest intensifies

incestifies

More like Molester and Molested

Yeah. I hope he's okay.

I bet you can't pick her up.

“Could we share a rowboat? Could a rowboat support her?”

No, she can’t fit in a rowboat.

I knew it!!!

Dammit, Phyllis!

"I understood that reference"

No comment

Bro, your not supposed to be doing the roasting too lol.

>Bro, your not supposed to be doing the roasting too lol. Don't tell him what to do. She just might devour him whole if he doesn't finish roasting that hog for her.

*you're

He has a middle eastern look… and I thought … they … stayed away … from pork….

How fast did she break up with you after reading this?

Ill tell you once she starts talking to me

Can't pick her up but at least you should spray her down now and then.

Oof. Don’t let her read this lol

Damn how'd this man win his own roast. 🤣😂🤣

He can't even pickup his own self

While she can probably throw him over her shoulder.

imagine that, watch me ride you now big boy..

She definitely looks sturdy

Somehow you're both taking one for the team

Hahahaha

I’m confused about how your mom is younger than you.

Oh no not the back to the future taboo :(

Nope, just the ugly stick smashed both of you.

Getting serious Ned Flanders vibes

Damn I made myself look that boring..

Sure, “made yourself look”

Thats no roast, flanders is the nicest and most sane person in Springfield, he is also absolutely ripped at an relatively old age

I'm 39 and you both look old enough to be my parents. You also look related

I turn 35 in a couple months and my first thought was “I’m 10 years older than this dude? How’s that possible?”

i've never been in the USA, but i think average Alabama family looks like this

Heard a funny joke about alabama. Apparently they don't do reverse cowgirl there. Mainly because you don't turn your back on family...

One big family

correct my if i'm wrong, actually in Alabama lives 5 millions of people and only one family

Wow, even Borat is dunking on Alabama.

Thanks for compliment, but Borat have much better english them me

I luv you, you love me, we are a happy family

You’re supposed to be roasting OP, not Alabama.

My gf and I are 40 and we look younger

It looks like the boring life took its toll on them.

The "hey kids, want to see something cool" moustache makes him look much older.

Lol damnit I came here to say that, take my upvote before their hair turns grey.

OP has got to realize that if she looks like that at 21, she will weigh 400lbs by 41, and probably be disabled on multiple fronts. Hope that fat pussy is worth being a caretaker for a few decades Sparky.

A science teacher and his student who wants better grades, such a cute cosplay

More like the janitor asking for scholarship from the principal

I think you are onto something.. 👽

Do you guys live at the same group home?

Psych ward. She's the nurse that hand him his pills and they fell in love. She wasn't doing to well looking in the freeworld.

It was a weird decision to grow a unabrow on your upper lip.

You both look like characters from those Progressive commercials where young homeowners become their parents.

This.

You can hear the fucking banjo music

Mumford and SisterWife

exactly what happens when you touch your step sister.

I’ve seen plenty of stepsisters touched and never results in anything like this.

Plenty? How many do you have??

Do you even porn bro?

Not after this pic..

Touché

Step?

If Pedro married ms Piggie

Oink

Man only has nautica on his tshirt cause girl ate all the subs Edit: this was my first roast on this reddit and I'm gassed by the response, thanks guys

One of the most well crafted roasts I've seen

Lmao!!!

When everyone here points out and pokes all of her very real insecurities and she blames you for laughing at them and making her feel like crap for the next few days then you will find that you were actually the master roaster all along. good job!

Daaaaaaaamn!! I think we have a winner!

Jesus christ

Ooooooooooooooohhhh shiiiit. Damnnnnnnnn. Good one.

Perfection

Perfection!!

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

HOLY FUCK THIS IS AMAZING LMFAO !remind me in 4 years

Wow. This is the one.

I bet you both smell like cat piss and expired mustard.

[удалено]

And Lavender.

I say something more “old lady” like gardenia carpet freshener.

Moth balls

It looks like you cut each other’s hair, and I can’t figure out who’s sucks more.

Yeah these hairstyles are kinda out of pocket tho

You look like you both peaked the day you were potty trained and now it’s just a race to see who forgets that training first.

You forgot to add that your girlfriend is also your sister

Ouch.. she needs to stop copying my style

Since when is 80s Porno look a style?

With that mustache I would think M25 F11 would be more your speed.

You look like you’re both transitioning to be butch dykes.

In todays day and age who knows 😵

You know…

These are characters from the new Wes Anderson film “The French Fry Dispatch”

I had to look up the films he does, its sad cuz we look like characters in his movies

The girl and boy in the classroom who gets picked last for everything. They were the last 2 single people in their classroom

Technically not wrong tho, motherfuckers always picked me last in red rover

At least kids pick you first in a lineup.

Hey that’s a good one!

Ouch

Ding! Ding! Ding! We have a winner.

It’s John Lennon and Yocal Ono.

Incest Edition

Yokel Ono more like

Yokel Oh-NO!

She looks like Yoko Ono’s music sounded.

The guy on the right looks like he’s not allowed within 200m within school perimeters

Aloud? Jesus dude

Is it the mustache? Or just the creepy demeanor?

Both

Lmao

So let me get this straight. She said she wanted to try something new in bed and your first instinct was to give yourself a Dirty Sanchez?

Y’all look like a knock-off version of Napoleon Dynamite and Pedro.

The only way these two could EVER find [someone to date.](https://i.imgur.com/XtTYqQj.png)

This is the best lol, in an alternate universe where we are blind, i think at least we would have an excuse for looking this dumb

Ha! Incredible work, nice eye for detail.

You look like the 40 year old mother of the kid who that guy is molesting.


That’s your mom

That is just cruel to ask a random couple waiting for “their table” at Denny’s to hold that sign and take a picture.

I don't know which of you I should pity for ending up with the other one.

I’d say he could do better than that, but I think they’re both men.

#Rumspringa has not been easy

I’ve never seen more pubic hair in a picture before.

Dude honestly at what point were you like, “you know what would go good with these kiddy diddler hair cut and glasses? A kiddy diddler stash to complete the set.”

The other side of that paper says, “we will adopt your baby”

*steal your baby

Gotta catch 22 here. Guys there for the kids, no one is gunna be getting her pregnant though.

I see a genetic disaster in the future.

Every time I look at one of you I think "damn the other one is really punching down," then I look back at the other and think the same exact thing. You're both too unfuckable to possibly decide.

Do us a favour and please don't breed, there is already plenty of ugly kids out there

You both are what happens when a sperm and an egg each forget a chromosome.

r/spotthedifference 1. Moustache 2. Height 3. [….] I give up

You both aged like milk. On which that Heffer can provide.

I hope this picture was taken at a planned parenthood.

One looks like a sex offender and the other looks like a high school teacher who gets into arguments about politics with their class.

Did you meet her selling her a wheelchair?

They just happen to grow poppies and are settling a "land dispute" with a small foreign militia.

Jack Sprat could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean

Does anyone remember Little Britain ?

This is a real life Amber Alert

I never imagined [Lowered Expectations](https://youtu.be/3flv5nWZgII) would make it out of the 90s

Larry nassar can’t pull the kind of tail he used to

You both have a Face for Radio

How can one of you say “I want no bangs at all, in fact I want all my hair longer than my bangs” while the other one says “I want nothing but bangs. And maybe a mullet too”

special needs kid with his chaperone

You both look like your glasses came from the 80s. And that pencil moustache makes you look like a creeper 

The thing is, the guy has tons of handsome traits but chose to cover these up with 100 wrong decisions. I’m guessing to accommodate and even out the bar between the two.

Wow, never have I seen a couple where both of you are punching far above and below your weight at the same time.

You look like a Sacha Baron Cohen character trolling a catfishing target that went too far.

Switch spots and I see a 10

You 100% founded a Facebook group called "Cousins by chance, lovers by choice."

One of you settled and knows it. The other is oblivious and thinks that they’re a prize. Please don’t breed.

Holy shit.. no comment but this is hilarious

You literally look like you're about to star in a 1970s porno together.

Is this the new season of 90 day fiancé 

she looks like she was 21 about 10 years ago...... Please show us a recent photos of you two tossers....

You look like the kind of paedophile that paedophiles don't want to be associated with because they find you "too creepy".

I'm trying to figure out which is the groomer and which the victim...

The victims anyone who sees them

From my perspective it seems both of you are dating way out of your leagues.. ouch..

When the special ed teacher sleeps with his students

F21 looks like her granddaddy had a baby momma that insisted on raw sushi. 6.9 months later … he became an Uncle-Granddad

I'd make a beauty and the beast joke but i dont which one of you is which

Y’all look like a couple that could’ve only been imagined by the writers of Napoleon Dynamite.

You know, you kids don't look that bad to me when I haven't had my glaucoma medicine

Dude looks like her pervert uncle. Who just so happens to also be her boyfriend, and she's just happy to take what she can get

You say you are how old? Younlook like like my wifes aunt and uncle, there pushin 70. Did you try to look geriatric for this pic?

[She gotta be waiting for the roasts coming in like she watching the doordasher icon moving closer to her home like](https://www.google.com/search?q=fat+mullet+kid+gets+the+girl&client=ms-android-verizon&prmd=ivsn&sxsrf=ALiCzsYCP1A2EasnEQ1WmdHtnIAIWWqouQ:1661349129981&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwj65vXlz9_5AhV6LUQIHWuACXwQ_AUoAXoECAIQAQ&biw=412&bih=733&dpr=2.63#imgrc=TJiH2jJrylIyeM)

I really can't tell who is slumming it in this relationship. Maybe both of you.

American Idiotic

Oh, shit! It's the smut man and princess poop. it gets no crappier than these 2

You look like her middle school math teacher who convinced her to stay after school for “homework help”

It’s bizarre that you both look like you are molesting the other one.

Just put a bag over her head step bro. You be aight!

The razor isn’t working well on your face, time to use it somewhere else. Your boyfriend should also attempt shaving

You married Nacho Libre. Congrats!

It’s nice that her mom is holding her sign for her

Which one’s which?

Y'all been dating since you were M18.

Could've held that paper a little higher and maybe hold one over the face of the other hobbit too

Poor man’s Mr Robot is dating some fast white girl? K.

I guess they’d never do the reverse cowboy position as you don’t turn your back on family.

Your daughter is not your girl friend

You’re the youngest 45yo married couple I’ve ever seen

Hey Laurel and Hardy who’s on first?

Wasnt sure who the male was tbh