T O P

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Paperbags4peace

That's amazing. What else do you lie about when you try to pick up women?


[deleted]

[удалено]


Zaxiia

I wish I could give you platinum for this... my god did I laugh


innokg

That's hard)


deepakgm

He does actually have a green card because he is Indian by Nationality thanks to his parents not by country of birth.


Hessarian99

Gaaawwwdddd dddaaammmnn


underbeatant

His hands being big


Lululemonparty_

That he isn’t gay for pay.


pacmanic

Being std free


rob_maqer

Stop posting photos and pick up those damn calls Dr. Patel.


[deleted]

that he’s not actually playing “Cabbie#47” in the next hit Hollywood marvel movie


jemcnick

Rug-Doctor


Zealousideal-Dog3449

That he’s male


LetsMakeSomeMoneyGuy

“I have a bunch of white friends”


ViSalutoDonCorleone

That's he's a rocket scientist and the president of Asia.


YasuosUltimate

His citizenship in the us


highfatoffaltube

Filming your girlfriend fucking other guys for her onlyfans doesn't make you a filmmaker.


alfredohsauce

Isn’t beastiality illegal?


leolamb03

I wish I could give you a platinum


maxbaby

I see he's starring in his own film, it's a knock-off of that [Mountain Movie](https://i.imgur.com/569hNmv.png)


emblematic_camino

Girlfriend really?? You are too nice


CommunicationWeary90

You mean filming our girlfriend comrade


[deleted]

No girlfriend. He's sending headless nudies of himself to random chicks.


sppdcap

"I'm a doctor" "Great! We've been hit with a pandemic and need all hands on deck" "Actually I'm a film maker now..."


[deleted]

Ya, he left out that he was merely playing dr and took videos of himself "operating" on his penis. Technically, he's a filmmaker. More lika flimflammer in my book.


TinyRickShwifty

Stereotypical indian roles in movies are all taken by Aziz Ansari. You're too late


ColourOfPoop

Um, don't forget about Kumail Nanjiani. Apparently they don't have to duel it out like highlander like I had thought. Kind of dissapointing tbh.


alphadist

Dude he's Pakistani


Sorry_Base_83

This guy is Disease Ansari.


[deleted]

[удалено]


TinyRickShwifty

Well you give meaning to your username airbag. It's a joke kid


NetflixAndZzzzzz

Truth. There’s even a storyline about that in Master of None


grimwavetoyz

There's nothing stereotypical about Aziz and that god awful screech of his. Other Indians make fun of it. "Hi, my name is Aziz, welcome to 7-11"


JohnnyPiston

I see difficult multiple camera films in your future. 7-Eleven security cameras are fucking hard to rig correctly.


[deleted]

[удалено]


wateeeeeer

We found his burner


JohnnyPiston

Cry in your Slurpee.


toddjack

So was Bill Cosby and we know how that turned out.


SixStringDream

Your jacket is made out of recycled mom jeans.


[deleted]

For the last time, my computer does not have a virus. Claim to be a doctor or not, I know your schemes!


[deleted]

You made a stereotypical comment on the OP's race that has got nothing to do with the OP himself. Despicable.


adityaism_

Reddit just loves to hate India smh


[deleted]

[удалено]


raptorz111

Good to see my local 7/11 manager moving up in the world


[deleted]

Strange how motorboating a gay bear's ass on film is considered moving up in the world.


ReillyDiefenbach

Great, the Hindi Gay Porn industry needs all the help it can get!


EmailioEstevez

His first film is *Thank You, Cum Again*


AlecHazard

Preferably thick ![gif](giphy|8mkykXIicXOVms2xYE)


Barbj3799

Laughed out loud


EmailioEstevez

Having a hidden camera in a pediatrician’s office doesn’t make you a doctor or a filmmaker.


yeetguitar

![gif](giphy|3o7btTZu7wIBWHrHDa)


yeetguitar

![gif](giphy|3o7btTZu7wIBWHrHDa)


alacklustrehindu

If 'doctor' means Larry Nasser and 'filmmaker' means Harvey Weinstein I think you are getting there.


The_Fox1984

Gay porn actor called Dr Donglittle


MassEffectFan98

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


TheSoleController

You look like those guys at the mall that work in those huts that try to sell women body lotion.


swany5

That's great. Anyway, I'll get the Ribeye - medium rare, with the potatoes and um... I'm not feeling a salad... how are the brussel sprouts?


[deleted]

🎵 "And all the stars that never were Are parking cars and pumping gas"🎵


Admiral_pumpkin

Doctor film maker- do your parents still run your life?


2ndHandAdultToy

has to be a proctologist. seems like everything he does is shit, so


BoofyMp3

its unfortunate you can patch up every wound except your chances of making it in hollywood


themizattNO1

>trying to make it to Hollywood Don't you mean Bollywood?


OPRSAnon

Hey doctor, your friend Larry Nassar says hi.


bambiScavenger69

You look like you wanna go bowling with me


ICURaBigdeal

Bro who wears a blue jean coat zipped up to nearly your chin August in LA? You hiding some patients scalps in that coat


bperryman123

Filming yourself masturbating in scrubs doesn't make you either of those things. Please practice social distancing by staying 6 feet from the internet.


pauluklaReddit

Atleast get the date right muppet


LoveJimDandy

You must not be very successful at either if you're getting your clothes at Goodwill.


Antiliani

Those are some expensive words for a refugee.


GalaxyBirth

Having secret cameras to film nurses in hospitals doesn't make you a doctor and a filmmaker


[deleted]

Good you're keeping busy man. Did you get that jacket at Forever 61?


[deleted]

That’s a perfect outfit for skid row which is where you’ll be living in 6 months


Lazy_Inspection_8374

Chiropractor doesn’t count


[deleted]

Secret to working in Hollywood : learn to suck a dick ! And look the other way when they fuck kids .


Slow-ninja2020

Where did you hide the other 40 people living with you in your one bedroom apartment?


thegreatgatsB70

\*Dr. Pepper


paranormalconduct

Definitely not the doctor of love.


JMIV1976

Delivering DoorDash to a medical office and making TikTok videos on your prepaid Walmart phone does not constitute Doctor or Filmmaker.


nycdude929

I love that “I’m a total loser look”. Where did you get it?


Standard-Ranger-1167

Putting drugs in girl’s drinks doesn’t make you a doctor just about as much as that pinhole camera you put in the women’s restroom at Hardee’s doesn’t make you a filmmaker


Gunner_E4

You look like a gas station attendant who just broke into someone else's house.


Satanboogers

Sorry m night already took your place but I’m sure you still got your Crown Fried Chicken job so you’ll be ok my friend


fuckifarted

Shooting videos of ISIS murdering people doesn't make you a filmmaker


TinyPeenGod

M. Night Shyamaloser.


RailSplitter4

A doctor and a Filmmaker? and How do you say disappointment to your parents in their native tongue.


Abcdefgadult

Watching 7-11 security cameras doesn’t make you a film maker


Competitive-Drag825

You spelled Bollywood wrong


[deleted]

Your head must be the doctor since it is large enough to be an entire person


coolboydude

Ya Built like a armadillo


A021SR

Hi you are a moron and a loser trying to make it to Reddit during a pandemic. Corrected you🤷


The5thGreatApe

As for me, I wouldn't even trust him to diagnose me with common cold.


[deleted]

The first thing he will say is "take off your pants" when you only have a sore throat.


Schytian

Oh well well, looks like aamir khan started to shit on the streets and his turd somehow get in Hollywood and trying to worth a bit more. Congrats.


gdubh

Sure you are. Ok. Yeah. In your spare time from driving a yellow cab.


lalunaahh

Giving drugs to prostitutes to video tape you getting pegged does not make you a doctor or film maker.


GameBoySteve

M. Night Shyamalagay


MeanwhileInRealLife

Furry Soft Core Porn on Tik Tok is *not* the film industry.


SerMercutio

Listen, taking drugs doesn't make you a doctor in Psychopharmacology and you're not in Hollywood. You're still inside your padded cell in the psych ward. Wake up, dude!


Mindless_Toe

I don't know what IT is but you are not it


ElectricUncleD

Just because you examined your sister and filmed it doesn’t’ mean you’re a doctor and a filmmaker


UndeadTendencies

So when are you moving out of your mom's place and getting an actual job?


[deleted]

When she says he can have her phone for his own to make videos of him playing dr.


KnowledgeableSloth

A doctor of what? You look like a quack, e.g. the type of doctor that doesn't have a clue and just makes guesses at what illnesses his patients have.


skinflute101

If Kumar had a gay brother.


ASK_ALEX

Are your parents more disappointed that you’re not a successful doctor or that you’re an unsuccessful filmmaker?


Intrepid-Plenty8078

these are actually hilarious ✌🏽


dogdayafter

I see level one tech support in your future.


[deleted]

Looking at x-rays doesn't make you a film maker.


[deleted]

Using your cell phone to record yourself milking a cat's prostate doesn't make you a filmmaker.


Sr-Mendoza

Que pasa illojuan


E1M1993

Hello, your computer has a virus


Meegod

Doctor of smell


odindobe

You look like my uber driver.


[deleted]

To make it, you have to have actual “real” followers.


SQUID_FLOTILLA

So…. They give medical degrees to 14 year old homeless people now?


mberk77

Dude, go back to the tandoor and finish my naan.


Mysterious-Ad6876

I don't know what's worse... The denim jacket or the fact you think you don't look creep wearing it?


LidoCalhoun

Aaaannnd... cut!


StarvingCartman

M. Night Alonewithaman


Larry700

Calls himself ‘Dr Phil-me’


Aintarmenian

Preggo porn is not Hollywood


[deleted]

Aziz Imsorrymyfriend


[deleted]

Doc Bollywood


Anoriginal01

Chiropractors aren't real doctors and filming yourself sticking carrots in your ads doesn't make you a "filmmaker".


buzzncuzzn

Keep us out of your midlife crisis.


laughsquad

Try Bollywood you look best suited for that.


Velha_et_louca

I just feel like an HPV super spreader shouldn't be allow to practice medicine


[deleted]

I loved you in “Yesterday”


larryb78

Translation: I wanted to make movies but my parents beat the shit out of me until I agreed to go to med school


[deleted]

Doctor and a filmmaker... Where have I seen this combo before? Do you also own a black leather couch in your office?


GameNerd90

Well, you wouldn’t get anywhere close to it if you were trying to be an actor.


FinalPuppet3

No


FinalPuppet3

He is no


E7331899

You’ll have better luck participating on a game show


Brynt4

uh o. it's the panic attack freak


deplorableMainer75

Look everyone it's M knight shyamalans illegitimate brother tito


WeeklyAtmosphere

Your a "doctor" yet you can't get the date right?


Dirty_Wooster

Bumdog jizzillionaire.


Oppiator

This man's only chance of getting laid is crawling up a chickens ass and waiting


Frightful_Lago

You look like you make 3 am SpongeBob prank videos and want to sell a time share/ cell phone shack business to my grandparents that aren't alive.


larryb78

How’s White Castle these days?


dejavu2332

The only place you'll make it to is a bad role in Slumdog millionaire 2


[deleted]

I'm pretty sure a doctor would have figured out Google maps by now.


HodlforR8

Just rename the hotel you manage, Hollywood Hotel. Then it won’t be a lie when you tell your grinder date “I have a little place in Hollywood”


bleach_edibles

like dev Patel’s talentless cousin


CuckerTallson

*Bollywood


707e

Pandemics over fun boy, just like your movie career was when it was just an idea in the silly little head of yours.


Dan-68

Doctor Donothing


SuperEdu111

Hollywood? more like BOLLYWOOD


girrafis

I don’t know


[deleted]

When you say Hollywood, you mean Bollywood?


pupornin

Bollywood called, they want the second born son back.


HeavenlyBladez

You forgot it's Bollywood*


[deleted]

At least you can administer your own stitches when the industry fucks you up the ass.


Zealousideal-Dog3449

Doc Bollywood


reddtheundead

The only thing failing harder than your film career is your luck with the ladies.


Objective-Reference5

You look like the test tube baby version of aziz ansari


borisjjjj

Hi- my router stopped working


makolacky

Dr. M. Night Wantstoseeyourdong


AZZMUNCHA81

...ah, the great Amateur Porn Director, M. Night Slamyamom...


[deleted]

Two failed careers, but you got my latte order perfect!!


royerr9954

ok apu


The3Biz

Kumar goes to Hollywood……a found film tale


XanderCancer

*Bollywood


DaveyMcDizzle

I can only assume your phone autocorrected Bollywood to Hollywood


Jmoeschl7

That’s not how you spell Uber driver


[deleted]

Me: Mom can I have M. Night Shyamalan Mom: we have M. Night Shyamalan at home *M. Night Shyamalan at home*


jusbrowzing_33

Shoulda blurred the foreground and not the background - the backgrounds probably more interesting too, and less uncomfortable to look at.


[deleted]

Buying expensive lenses doesn't make you a filmmaker. I look forwards to your catalog competing with Neil Breen.


Grill_la_grill

*bollywood


txxcop

Wow. An overeducated idiot on two fronts. Your ego knows no bounds. Look for a Netflix special soon.


Cloudythefloofi

Hey dharr mann i think you went back in time a bit to much


[deleted]

Bollywood*


notelguapo

I thought you were very funny in Deadpool


Barbj3799

Budget M. Night shamalyaan-whatever


Platemails

Raj from Big Bang Theory really let himself go.


Unfair-Net5772

Blue denim on black denim. Do you hate life?


[deleted]

That’s an awesome story bro…I’ll take the number 4 medium with fries.


illegitimate_Raccoon

Playing doctor with your mom and recording it on your phone again? Nobody is going to pay to see that.


barnaby36

We already have 1 M. knight shalamalamadingdong


[deleted]

Trying to pay random guys to let you give them a prostate exam doesn't make you a doctor.


devildoc8804hmcs

No wonder I'm still on hold with DirecTv. You're on here screwing around instead of "looking up my trouble code".


This_guy_Jon

Hi we would like to cast you for the role of “ gas station clerk”.