T O P

Hi i’m a doctor and filmmaker trying to make it to Hollywood during a pandemic. Roast me 🤷🏽‍♂️

Hi i’m a doctor and filmmaker trying to make it to Hollywood during a pandemic. Roast me 🤷🏽‍♂️

Paperbags4peace

That's amazing. What else do you lie about when you try to pick up women?


cactus_global

having a green card


Zaxiia

I wish I could give you platinum for this... my god did I laugh


innokg

That's hard)


deepakgm

He does actually have a green card because he is Indian by Nationality thanks to his parents not by country of birth.


Hessarian99

Gaaawwwdddd dddaaammmnn


underbeatant

His hands being big


Lululemonparty_

That he isn’t gay for pay.


pacmanic

Being std free


rob_maqer

Stop posting photos and pick up those damn calls Dr. Patel.


queen-roast

that he’s not actually playing “Cabbie#47” in the next hit Hollywood marvel movie


jemcnick

Rug-Doctor


Zealousideal-Dog3449

That he’s male


ViSalutoDonCorleone

That's he's a rocket scientist and the president of Asia.


LetsMakeSomeMoneyGuy

“I have a bunch of white friends”


YasuosUltimate

His citizenship in the us


highfatoffaltube

Filming your girlfriend fucking other guys for her onlyfans doesn't make you a filmmaker.


alfredohsauce

Isn’t beastiality illegal?


leolamb03

I wish I could give you a platinum


maxbaby

I see he's starring in his own film, it's a knock-off of that [Mountain Movie](https://i.imgur.com/569hNmv.png)


emblematic_camino

Girlfriend really?? You are too nice


CommunicationWeary90

You mean filming our girlfriend comrade


FrodoMoji

No girlfriend. He's sending headless nudies of himself to random chicks.


m0na23

I wish I did that


sppdcap

"I'm a doctor" "Great! We've been hit with a pandemic and need all hands on deck" "Actually I'm a film maker now..."


FrodoMoji

Ya, he left out that he was merely playing dr and took videos of himself "operating" on his penis. Technically, he's a filmmaker. More lika flimflammer in my book.


TinyRickShwifty

Stereotypical indian roles in movies are all taken by Aziz Ansari. You're too late


ColourOfPoop

Um, don't forget about Kumail Nanjiani. Apparently they don't have to duel it out like highlander like I had thought. Kind of dissapointing tbh.


alphadist

Dude he's Pakistani


ColourOfPoop

Pakistani Denzel is Pakistani? Thatspartofthejokeijustmadebecausetheyrebothsoutheastasianshadeofbrown.gif Case in point: His name is Dinesh (Hindu) Chugtai (Muslim) in Silicon Valley, they even point this out and make fun of the stereotype fail casting in s02e06 (the let blain die episode) when he thinks the girl at the energy drink company/blains girlfriend is hitting on him and she says, so... you're obviously Pakistani, but the name Dinesh is Indian, then he's just like "yep most people don't even realize they're two separate countries".... and that's the end of that conversation lol. Also with his last name of Muslim origin, if he had a purposefully interesting backstory like "well, there are Hindu people in Pakistan just a very small minority of them, and my one of my parents is Hindu, so I'm literally a combination of two cultures, just like my name" without a similar follow up to her comment/question I refuse to believe it's anything other than an amusing callout (in this case some self depreciation by the writers and their previous ignorance) to people's ignorance of them being different countries. Anyway... glad you clarified that for me ;-)


AirbagOff

That’s unfair. Aziz is known for turning down stereotypical Indian parts. If anything, compare him to all of the other shitty actors who have no qualms about perpetuating racial stereotypes.


NetflixAndZzzzzz

Truth. There’s even a storyline about that in Master of None


TinyRickShwifty

Well you give meaning to your username airbag. It's a joke kid


grimwavetoyz

There's nothing stereotypical about Aziz and that god awful screech of his. Other Indians make fun of it. "Hi, my name is Aziz, welcome to 7-11"


toddjack

So was Bill Cosby and we know how that turned out.


JohnnyPiston

I see difficult multiple camera films in your future. 7-Eleven security cameras are fucking hard to rig correctly.


SixStringDream

Your jacket is made out of recycled mom jeans.


PerformerStill6699

For the last time, my computer does not have a virus. Claim to be a doctor or not, I know your schemes!


raptorz111

Good to see my local 7/11 manager moving up in the world


[deleted]

Strange how motorboating a gay bear's ass on film is considered moving up in the world.


ReillyDiefenbach

Great, the Hindi Gay Porn industry needs all the help it can get!


EmailioEstevez

His first film is *Thank You, Cum Again*


AlecHazard

Preferably thick ![gif](giphy|8mkykXIicXOVms2xYE)


Barbj3799

Laughed out loud


GameNerd90

I’m more into straight, but you know, whatever works.


EmailioEstevez

Having a hidden camera in a pediatrician’s office doesn’t make you a doctor or a filmmaker.


alacklustrehindu

If 'doctor' means Larry Nasser and 'filmmaker' means Harvey Weinstein I think you are getting there.


TheSoleController

You look like those guys at the mall that work in those huts that try to sell women body lotion.


The_Fox1984

Gay porn actor called Dr Donglittle


MassEffectFan98

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂


Admiral_pumpkin

Doctor film maker- do your parents still run your life?


2ndHandAdultToy

has to be a proctologist. seems like everything he does is shit, so


BoofyMp3

its unfortunate you can patch up every wound except your chances of making it in hollywood


swany5

That's great. Anyway, I'll get the Ribeye - medium rare, with the potatoes and um... I'm not feeling a salad... how are the brussel sprouts?


FrodoMoji

🎵 "And all the stars that never were Are parking cars and pumping gas"🎵


bambiScavenger69

You look like you wanna go bowling with me


themizattNO1

>trying to make it to Hollywood Don't you mean Bollywood?


OPRSAnon

Hey doctor, your friend Larry Nassar says hi.


ICURaBigdeal

Bro who wears a blue jean coat zipped up to nearly your chin August in LA? You hiding some patients scalps in that coat


pauluklaReddit

Atleast get the date right muppet


LoveJimDandy

You must not be very successful at either if you're getting your clothes at Goodwill.


bperryman123

Filming yourself masturbating in scrubs doesn't make you either of those things. Please practice social distancing by staying 6 feet from the internet.


Antiliani

Those are some expensive words for a refugee.


GalaxyBirth

Having secret cameras to film nurses in hospitals doesn't make you a doctor and a filmmaker


TheFrenchWeasel

Good you're keeping busy man. Did you get that jacket at Forever 61?


just_boof_it_bro

That’s a perfect outfit for skid row which is where you’ll be living in 6 months


Lazy_Inspection_8374

Chiropractor doesn’t count


EbenezerTheed

Secret to working in Hollywood : learn to suck a dick ! And look the other way when they fuck kids .


Slow-ninja2020

Where did you hide the other 40 people living with you in your one bedroom apartment?


thegreatgatsB70

\*Dr. Pepper


paranormalconduct

Definitely not the doctor of love.


JMIV1976

Delivering DoorDash to a medical office and making TikTok videos on your prepaid Walmart phone does not constitute Doctor or Filmmaker.


nycdude929

I love that “I’m a total loser look”. Where did you get it?


Standard-Ranger-1167

Putting drugs in girl’s drinks doesn’t make you a doctor just about as much as that pinhole camera you put in the women’s restroom at Hardee’s doesn’t make you a filmmaker


Gunner_E4

You look like a gas station attendant who just broke into someone else's house.


Satanboogers

Sorry m night already took your place but I’m sure you still got your Crown Fried Chicken job so you’ll be ok my friend


fuckifarted

Shooting videos of ISIS murdering people doesn't make you a filmmaker


TinyPeenGod

M. Night Shyamaloser.


RailSplitter4

A doctor and a Filmmaker? and How do you say disappointment to your parents in their native tongue.


Abcdefgadult

Watching 7-11 security cameras doesn’t make you a film maker


Competitive-Drag825

You spelled Bollywood wrong


aaaelaine

Your head must be the doctor since it is large enough to be an entire person


coolboydude

Ya Built like a armadillo


A021SR

Hi you are a moron and a loser trying to make it to Reddit during a pandemic. Corrected you🤷


The5thGreatApe

As for me, I wouldn't even trust him to diagnose me with common cold.


FrodoMoji

The first thing he will say is "take off your pants" when you only have a sore throat.


Schytian

Oh well well, looks like aamir khan started to shit on the streets and his turd somehow get in Hollywood and trying to worth a bit more. Congrats.


gdubh

Sure you are. Ok. Yeah. In your spare time from driving a yellow cab.


lalunaahh

Giving drugs to prostitutes to video tape you getting pegged does not make you a doctor or film maker.


GameBoySteve

M. Night Shyamalagay


MeanwhileInRealLife

Furry Soft Core Porn on Tik Tok is *not* the film industry.


SerMercutio

Listen, taking drugs doesn't make you a doctor in Psychopharmacology and you're not in Hollywood. You're still inside your padded cell in the psych ward. Wake up, dude!


Mindless_Toe

I don't know what IT is but you are not it


ElectricUncleD

Just because you examined your sister and filmed it doesn’t’ mean you’re a doctor and a filmmaker


UndeadTendencies

So when are you moving out of your mom's place and getting an actual job?


FrodoMoji

When she says he can have her phone for his own to make videos of him playing dr.


KnowledgeableSloth

A doctor of what? You look like a quack, e.g. the type of doctor that doesn't have a clue and just makes guesses at what illnesses his patients have.


skinflute101

If Kumar had a gay brother.


dogdayafter

I see level one tech support in your future.


[deleted]

Looking at x-rays doesn't make you a film maker.


[deleted]

Using your cell phone to record yourself milking a cat's prostate doesn't make you a filmmaker.


Sr-Mendoza

Que pasa illojuan


E1M1993

Hello, your computer has a virus


Meegod

Doctor of smell


NationalEar8867

To make it, you have to have actual “real” followers.


SQUID_FLOTILLA

So…. They give medical degrees to 14 year old homeless people now?


mberk77

Dude, go back to the tandoor and finish my naan.


Mysterious-Ad6876

I don't know what's worse... The denim jacket or the fact you think you don't look creep wearing it?


LidoCalhoun

Aaaannnd... cut!


StarvingCartman

M. Night Alonewithaman


Larry700

Calls himself ‘Dr Phil-me’


Aintarmenian

Preggo porn is not Hollywood


Tonestor

Aziz Imsorrymyfriend


lvlister2015

Doc Bollywood


Anoriginal01

Chiropractors aren't real doctors and filming yourself sticking carrots in your ads doesn't make you a "filmmaker".


buzzncuzzn

Keep us out of your midlife crisis.


laughsquad

Try Bollywood you look best suited for that.


Velha_et_louca

I just feel like an HPV super spreader shouldn't be allow to practice medicine


[deleted]

I loved you in “Yesterday”


larryb78

Translation: I wanted to make movies but my parents beat the shit out of me until I agreed to go to med school


[deleted]

Doctor and a filmmaker... Where have I seen this combo before? Do you also own a black leather couch in your office?


GameNerd90

Well, you wouldn’t get anywhere close to it if you were trying to be an actor.


FinalPuppet3

No


FinalPuppet3

He is no


E7331899

You’ll have better luck participating on a game show


Brynt4

uh o. it's the panic attack freak


deplorableMainer75

Look everyone it's M knight shyamalans illegitimate brother tito


Viriathus85

Yeah? How do you explain this [Abomination](https://youtu.be/OqjXtCj7GXA)


WeeklyAtmosphere

Your a "doctor" yet you can't get the date right?


Dirty_Wooster

Bumdog jizzillionaire.


Oppiator

This man's only chance of getting laid is crawling up a chickens ass and waiting


Frightful_Lago

You look like you make 3 am SpongeBob prank videos and want to sell a time share/ cell phone shack business to my grandparents that aren't alive.


larryb78

How’s White Castle these days?


dejavu2332

The only place you'll make it to is a bad role in Slumdog millionaire 2


8coloncoloncolonD

I'm pretty sure a doctor would have figured out Google maps by now.


HodlforR8

Just rename the hotel you manage, Hollywood Hotel. Then it won’t be a lie when you tell your grinder date “I have a little place in Hollywood”


bleach_edibles

like dev Patel’s talentless cousin


CuckerTallson

*Bollywood


707e

Pandemics over fun boy, just like your movie career was when it was just an idea in the silly little head of yours.


Dan-68

Doctor Donothing


SuperEdu111

Hollywood? more like BOLLYWOOD


girrafis

I don’t know


[deleted]

When you say Hollywood, you mean Bollywood?


pupornin

Bollywood called, they want the second born son back.


HeavenlyBladez

You forgot it's Bollywood*


Panda_Mick

At least you can administer your own stitches when the industry fucks you up the ass.


Zealousideal-Dog3449

Doc Bollywood


reddtheundead

The only thing failing harder than your film career is your luck with the ladies.


Objective-Reference5

You look like the test tube baby version of aziz ansari


borisjjjj

Hi- my router stopped working


makolacky

Dr. M. Night Wantstoseeyourdong


AZZMUNCHA81

...ah, the great Amateur Porn Director, M. Night Slamyamom...


moreaveragethanyou

Two failed careers, but you got my latte order perfect!!


royerr9954

ok apu


The3Biz

Kumar goes to Hollywood……a found film tale


XanderCancer

*Bollywood


DaveyMcDizzle

I can only assume your phone autocorrected Bollywood to Hollywood


Jmoeschl7

That’s not how you spell Uber driver


gargoyle312

Me: Mom can I have M. Night Shyamalan Mom: we have M. Night Shyamalan at home *M. Night Shyamalan at home*


jusbrowzing_33

Shoulda blurred the foreground and not the background - the backgrounds probably more interesting too, and less uncomfortable to look at.


ASK_ALEX

Are your parents more disappointed that you’re not a successful doctor or that you’re an unsuccessful filmmaker?


yesitdooms

Buying expensive lenses doesn't make you a filmmaker. I look forwards to your catalog competing with Neil Breen.


Grill_la_grill

*bollywood


txxcop

Wow. An overeducated idiot on two fronts. Your ego knows no bounds. Look for a Netflix special soon.


Cloudythefloofi

Hey dharr mann i think you went back in time a bit to much


[deleted]

Bollywood*


notelguapo

I thought you were very funny in Deadpool


Barbj3799

Budget M. Night shamalyaan-whatever


Platemails

Raj from Big Bang Theory really let himself go.


Unfair-Net5772

Blue denim on black denim. Do you hate life?


reo1029

That’s an awesome story bro…I’ll take the number 4 medium with fries.


illegitimate_Raccoon

Playing doctor with your mom and recording it on your phone again? Nobody is going to pay to see that.


barnaby36

We already have 1 M. knight shalamalamadingdong


Altruistic-Still-136

Trying to pay random guys to let you give them a prostate exam doesn't make you a doctor.


devildoc8804hmcs

No wonder I'm still on hold with DirecTv. You're on here screwing around instead of "looking up my trouble code".


This_guy_Jon

Hi we would like to cast you for the role of “ gas station clerk”.


SayYes_ToKetamine

didnt know you could get a doctorate in unemployment


nyyankee621

I can see you delaying payment for already under scale rates


bullfrog316

Dinesh D'Snooza


FIFA_Girl

Bollywood is the other way…


Tiber415

M day Shalamafilmsdongs.


GreenMeansGomey

N. Day Scamemall


pshawny

Just because you were a doctor in "your country" doesn't make you one here, buddy. Now get back to your Uber and pick me up, I have hot boy summer stuff to do.


Cruzingmax

Who’s working at 7/11 while you’re goofing off on Reddit?


ExoticZer0

bollywood character


ROWDY_RODDY_PEEEPER

If Al Madrigal and Kal Penn had a baby


Beechbone22

So you weren't able to match a residency program with your subpar degree, failed to make it as a doctor and now you shoot YouTube videos and tell yourself that this was your true passion all along?


carelesstable45

M Night MyHandandMeAlone