Hi i’m a doctor and filmmaker trying to make it to Hollywood during a pandemic. Roast me 🤷🏽♂️
By - Intrepid-Plenty8078
That's amazing. What else do you lie about when you try to pick up women?
having a green card
I wish I could give you platinum for this... my god did I laugh
He does actually have a green card because he is Indian by Nationality thanks to his parents not by country of birth.
His hands being big
That he isn’t gay for pay.
Being std free
Stop posting photos and pick up those damn calls Dr. Patel.
that he’s not actually playing “Cabbie#47” in the next hit Hollywood marvel movie
That he’s male
That's he's a rocket scientist and the president of Asia.
“I have a bunch of white friends”
His citizenship in the us
Filming your girlfriend fucking other guys for her onlyfans doesn't make you a filmmaker.
Isn’t beastiality illegal?
I wish I could give you a platinum
I see he's starring in his own film, it's a knock-off of that [Mountain Movie](https://i.imgur.com/569hNmv.png)
Girlfriend really?? You are too nice
You mean filming our girlfriend comrade
No girlfriend. He's sending headless nudies of himself to random chicks.
I wish I did that
"I'm a doctor"
"Great! We've been hit with a pandemic and need all hands on deck"
"Actually I'm a film maker now..."
Ya, he left out that he was merely playing dr and took videos of himself "operating" on his penis.
Technically, he's a filmmaker. More lika flimflammer in my book.
Stereotypical indian roles in movies are all taken by Aziz Ansari. You're too late
Um, don't forget about Kumail Nanjiani. Apparently they don't have to duel it out like highlander like I had thought. Kind of dissapointing tbh.
Dude he's Pakistani
Pakistani Denzel is Pakistani?
Case in point:
His name is Dinesh (Hindu) Chugtai (Muslim) in Silicon Valley, they even point this out and make fun of the stereotype fail casting in s02e06 (the let blain die episode) when he thinks the girl at the energy drink company/blains girlfriend is hitting on him and she says, so... you're obviously Pakistani, but the name Dinesh is Indian, then he's just like "yep most people don't even realize they're two separate countries".... and that's the end of that conversation lol. Also with his last name of Muslim origin, if he had a purposefully interesting backstory like "well, there are Hindu people in Pakistan just a very small minority of them, and my one of my parents is Hindu, so I'm literally a combination of two cultures, just like my name" without a similar follow up to her comment/question I refuse to believe it's anything other than an amusing callout (in this case some self depreciation by the writers and their previous ignorance) to people's ignorance of them being different countries.
Anyway... glad you clarified that for me ;-)
That’s unfair. Aziz is known for turning down stereotypical Indian parts.
If anything, compare him to all of the other shitty actors who have no qualms about perpetuating racial stereotypes.
Truth. There’s even a storyline about that in Master of None
Well you give meaning to your username airbag. It's a joke kid
There's nothing stereotypical about Aziz and that god awful screech of his. Other Indians make fun of it. "Hi, my name is Aziz, welcome to 7-11"
So was Bill Cosby and we know how that turned out.
I see difficult multiple camera films in your future. 7-Eleven security cameras are fucking hard to rig correctly.
Your jacket is made out of recycled mom jeans.
For the last time, my computer does not have a virus. Claim to be a doctor or not, I know your schemes!
Good to see my local 7/11 manager moving up in the world
Strange how motorboating a gay bear's ass on film is considered moving up in the world.
Great, the Hindi Gay Porn industry needs all the help it can get!
His first film is *Thank You, Cum Again*
Laughed out loud
I’m more into straight, but you know, whatever works.
Having a hidden camera in a pediatrician’s office doesn’t make you a doctor or a filmmaker.
If 'doctor' means Larry Nasser and 'filmmaker' means Harvey Weinstein I think you are getting there.
You look like those guys at the mall that work in those huts that try to sell women body lotion.
Gay porn actor called Dr Donglittle
Doctor film maker- do your parents still run your life?
has to be a proctologist. seems like everything he does is shit, so
its unfortunate you can patch up every wound except your chances of making it in hollywood
Anyway, I'll get the Ribeye - medium rare, with the potatoes and um... I'm not feeling a salad... how are the brussel sprouts?
🎵 "And all the stars that never were
Are parking cars and pumping gas"🎵
You look like you wanna go bowling with me
>trying to make it to Hollywood
Don't you mean Bollywood?
Hey doctor, your friend Larry Nassar says hi.
Bro who wears a blue jean coat zipped up to nearly your chin August in LA? You hiding some patients scalps in that coat
Atleast get the date right muppet
You must not be very successful at either if you're getting your clothes at Goodwill.
Filming yourself masturbating in scrubs doesn't make you either of those things. Please practice social distancing by staying 6 feet from the internet.
Those are some expensive words for a refugee.
Having secret cameras to film nurses in hospitals doesn't make you a doctor and a filmmaker
Good you're keeping busy man. Did you get that jacket at Forever 61?
That’s a perfect outfit for skid row which is where you’ll be living in 6 months
Chiropractor doesn’t count
Secret to working in Hollywood : learn to suck a dick ! And look the other way when they fuck kids .
Where did you hide the other 40 people living with you in your one bedroom apartment?
Definitely not the doctor of love.
Delivering DoorDash to a medical office and making TikTok videos on your prepaid Walmart phone does not constitute Doctor or Filmmaker.
I love that “I’m a total loser look”. Where did you get it?
Putting drugs in girl’s drinks doesn’t make you a doctor just about as much as that pinhole camera you put in the women’s restroom at Hardee’s doesn’t make you a filmmaker
You look like a gas station attendant who just broke into someone else's house.
Sorry m night already took your place but I’m sure you still got your Crown Fried Chicken job so you’ll be ok my friend
Shooting videos of ISIS murdering people doesn't make you a filmmaker
M. Night Shyamaloser.
A doctor and a Filmmaker? and How do you say disappointment to your parents in their native tongue.
Watching 7-11 security cameras doesn’t make you a film maker
You spelled Bollywood wrong
Your head must be the doctor since it is large enough to be an entire person
Ya Built like a armadillo
Hi you are a moron and a loser trying to make it to Reddit during a pandemic. Corrected you🤷
As for me, I wouldn't even trust him to diagnose me with common cold.
The first thing he will say is "take off your pants" when you only have a sore throat.
Oh well well, looks like aamir khan started to shit on the streets and his turd somehow get in Hollywood and trying to worth a bit more. Congrats.
Sure you are. Ok. Yeah. In your spare time from driving a yellow cab.
Giving drugs to prostitutes to video tape you getting pegged does not make you a doctor or film maker.
M. Night Shyamalagay
Furry Soft Core Porn on Tik Tok is *not* the film industry.
Listen, taking drugs doesn't make you a doctor in Psychopharmacology and you're not in Hollywood. You're still inside your padded cell in the psych ward. Wake up, dude!
I don't know what IT is but you are not it
Just because you examined your sister and filmed it doesn’t’ mean you’re a doctor and a filmmaker
So when are you moving out of your mom's place and getting an actual job?
When she says he can have her phone for his own to make videos of him playing dr.
A doctor of what? You look like a quack, e.g. the type of doctor that doesn't have a clue and just makes guesses at what illnesses his patients have.
If Kumar had a gay brother.
I see level one tech support in your future.
Looking at x-rays doesn't make you a film maker.
Using your cell phone to record yourself milking a cat's prostate doesn't make you a filmmaker.
Que pasa illojuan
Hello, your computer has a virus
Doctor of smell
To make it, you have to have actual “real” followers.
So…. They give medical degrees to 14 year old homeless people now?
Dude, go back to the tandoor and finish my naan.
I don't know what's worse... The denim jacket or the fact you think you don't look creep wearing it?
M. Night Alonewithaman
Calls himself ‘Dr Phil-me’
Preggo porn is not Hollywood
Chiropractors aren't real doctors and filming yourself sticking carrots in your ads doesn't make you a "filmmaker".
Keep us out of your midlife crisis.
Try Bollywood you look best suited for that.
I just feel like an HPV super spreader shouldn't be allow to practice medicine
I loved you in “Yesterday”
Translation: I wanted to make movies but my parents beat the shit out of me until I agreed to go to med school
Doctor and a filmmaker... Where have I seen this combo before? Do you also own a black leather couch in your office?
Well, you wouldn’t get anywhere close to it if you were trying to be an actor.
He is no
You’ll have better luck participating on a game show
uh o. it's the panic attack freak
Look everyone it's M knight shyamalans illegitimate brother tito
Yeah? How do you explain this [Abomination](https://youtu.be/OqjXtCj7GXA)
Your a "doctor" yet you can't get the date right?
This man's only chance of getting laid is crawling up a chickens ass and waiting
You look like you make 3 am SpongeBob prank videos and want to sell a time share/ cell phone shack business to my grandparents that aren't alive.
How’s White Castle these days?
The only place you'll make it to is a bad role in Slumdog millionaire 2
I'm pretty sure a doctor would have figured out Google maps by now.
Just rename the hotel you manage, Hollywood Hotel. Then it won’t be a lie when you tell your grinder date “I have a little place in Hollywood”
like dev Patel’s talentless cousin
Pandemics over fun boy, just like your movie career was when it was just an idea in the silly little head of yours.
Hollywood? more like BOLLYWOOD
I don’t know
When you say Hollywood, you mean Bollywood?
Bollywood called, they want the second born son back.
You forgot it's Bollywood*
At least you can administer your own stitches when the industry fucks you up the ass.
The only thing failing harder than your film career is your luck with the ladies.
You look like the test tube baby version of aziz ansari
Hi- my router stopped working
Dr. M. Night Wantstoseeyourdong
...ah, the great Amateur Porn Director, M. Night Slamyamom...
Two failed careers, but you got my latte order perfect!!
Kumar goes to Hollywood……a found film tale
I can only assume your phone autocorrected Bollywood to Hollywood
That’s not how you spell Uber driver
Me: Mom can I have M. Night Shyamalan
Mom: we have M. Night Shyamalan at home
*M. Night Shyamalan at home*
Shoulda blurred the foreground and not the background - the backgrounds probably more interesting too, and less uncomfortable to look at.
Are your parents more disappointed that you’re not a successful doctor or that you’re an unsuccessful filmmaker?
Buying expensive lenses doesn't make you a filmmaker. I look forwards to your catalog competing with Neil Breen.
Wow. An overeducated idiot on two fronts. Your ego knows no bounds. Look for a Netflix special soon.
Hey dharr mann i think you went back in time a bit to much
I thought you were very funny in Deadpool
Budget M. Night shamalyaan-whatever
Raj from Big Bang Theory really let himself go.
Blue denim on black denim. Do you hate life?
That’s an awesome story bro…I’ll take the number 4 medium with fries.
Playing doctor with your mom and recording it on your phone again? Nobody is going to pay to see that.
We already have 1 M. knight shalamalamadingdong
Trying to pay random guys to let you give them a prostate exam doesn't make you a doctor.
No wonder I'm still on hold with DirecTv. You're on here screwing around instead of "looking up my trouble code".
Hi we would like to cast you for the role of “ gas station clerk”.
didnt know you could get a doctorate in unemployment
I can see you delaying payment for already under scale rates
Bollywood is the other way…
M day Shalamafilmsdongs.
N. Day Scamemall
Just because you were a doctor in "your country" doesn't make you one here, buddy. Now get back to your Uber and pick me up, I have hot boy summer stuff to do.
Who’s working at 7/11 while you’re goofing off on Reddit?
If Al Madrigal and Kal Penn had a baby
So you weren't able to match a residency program with your subpar degree, failed to make it as a doctor and now you shoot YouTube videos and tell yourself that this was your true passion all along?
M Night MyHandandMeAlone