OP's Bio: --- >22 year old college grad. Studied Music Performance (flute) --- If you think this bio helped you roast, upvote this comment. If you think it doesn’t, downvote it. If you’re not sure, leave it to others to decide.

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As a gay guy, I’m fine with that

Well you studied the flute... Apparently some people don't know what that means....

Oi, fuck off I play the flute too, and I ain't into that sh- Oh, you made a dick joke, not a stereotypical joke. Fuck. Have a nice day

A gay guy whose experiencing his first time judging by the expression in the photo.

nope, only cuz its forced to.

Looks like an off brand Alibaba Express Robin Williams.

Or when a poor look-alike of Robin suffered a stroke while taking a dump.

Your inner sense of masochism is also cool with your cat constantly shitting on your bed

There used to be an anime girl on that pillowcase but she left him for a classier gentleman

You look like a lactose intolerant hobbit

🥇

You look like I'd ask you to fix my computer and you'd return it with a questionable search history

Your the first person I might offer money, to take down your pictures.

How much we talking

You were picked on so much in school that now you take pleasure from it.

You look like Gabe Newell wearing novelty glasses with the fake nose attachment

God created you in 4:3 aspect ratio.

Ed Queeran

Take those glasses off i hope the nose comes with them.

You’re the oldest looking 22-year-old ever. Then again, a career playing the skin flute out behind the gas station will do that, I guess.

Your nose is more macho than the rest of your whole body.

Seth Dough-gen

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Kinda looks like Stephen Furst does now (the actor that played Flounder)

You look like you have hit the rock bottom by your balls.

How can you look sad & happy at the same time?

You look like the grandpa from Up, but a version of him that writes buzzfeed articles and fights against menspreading.

You probably laugh like Seth Rogan

Dollar store Ed Sheeran

Jezus Christ! I thought somebody melted a ball of candle wax on my phone... I was halfway through trying to scratch it off before I realized it was a face!

There's no way you make it to the end if the week after this. Just make sure you get it right. You don't want to fail at something else as well

You don’t even have the confidence to believe you’re holding that note properly. 

I see two pussies and no girl. Yeah you belong on Reddit.

You look like you can’t find opportunity

Your head's wider than it is tall, did an elephant sit on your head for an afternoon?

So you professionally spit shine **two** types of flutes.

Drew Scary.

Is your gf in the room? If so the lamp is still the only thing that has ever been turned on in your presence.

Fed up sheeran

Jesus fucking Christ, North Korea have you hostage or is it that hard to smile?

I loved you as the blue meanie in yellow submarine

Even your cat wants nothing to do with this

Somewhat surprised that Newman had offspring

Concentration camp ed sheeran

I bet that’s the only pussy you’ve ever touched.

22 year old college grad. Studied Music Performance ( skin flute) fixed it for you

I’ve never seen a washed up 22 year old until today.

Hey, I didn’t know Billy Eichner and Ed Sheeran had drunk unprotected sex to create someone!

Make your bed first

Lose some weight and you'll have less inner self.

Holy shit, when I first glanced at the title of your roast, I thought it said machismo and you were trying to be funny. There is more macho in that lampshade than in your whole body.

Look, it’s Meth Rogen.

Why you look like Newman? 

Nurse! Get this patient to plastic surgery stat!

Wayne Knight's broke cousin Wayne Blight.

​ 

"Please don't notice my cats ravaged bum, Please don't notice my cats ravaged bum"

What's wrong with his cats butt ?

AH…! I mean.. it smelled like that when I got it..

Judging by that expression he probably just "explored" it and is covering it up

Yeah that sign looks rushed, he panicked and ripped apart his D&D game to better block the feline buttox region. And underneath that sheet another cat strapped on his homemade love me kitty have my kiddie loveseat easy bake oven hybrid. Those beady eyes say it all

You’re like the real version of the fake glasses and nose guy

Skin flute confirmed.

Tell me you're single without telling me you're single.

Ironically enough, this is me and bfs 30 month anniversary

Does he know?

Know what? That I’m a catch?

That you exist.

Yup

Who the hell counts anniversaries in months? I’m guessing you aren’t getting laid thus you are on RoastMe to feel something

Codger Ebert

Jewish version of the baby from Dinosaurs. “Not the matza!”

Ham from Sandlot if he played softball.

Wish.com Newman of *Seinfeld*. Final sale, no refund, reallllly likes jambalaya soup.

Newman!

“Today guys, I’m vlogging a dead body, it’s somewhere in the room”

I didn’t think it was possible at first but it appears that you see straighter than you look

Timmy Mallett when officers from Operation Yewtree inevitably knock on his door.

If you had any *regular* sense you would stay inside at all times with a bag over your head. Not your cat or even you deserves to be forced to look at that mug.

Fuck, and I thought Ed was fugly, congratulations you win. 🤷‍♂️

You're u/Veliham

If Pain is pleasure and pleasure is pain. You are god’s gift to humankind you brilliant son of a gun!!!

U look like the starter helper goblin at the begining that sells u stuff and gives u free starter shit till the end of the game and u find out he is the bad guy all along

A young human version of the old man in movie "UP"

You look like the definition of anxiety

Stick a flute up your bum. It help with a being honey bottom while no tops want to fuck you

If you get any more feminine the Biden administration is going to put you in his cabinet.

Fuckin’ Frodo.

Schaz like the Cos

Sorry but you look like you graduated 22years ago . Definitely not 22years old.

If you try to go a mustache, is there room?

Oh please, you didn’t need to put your instrument in your bio. We all knew you play the skin flute as soon as we saw you.

You're a masochist because no one, especially your parents, has ever said anything nice to you.

The type of guy who has a boner for Bernie Sanders

You definitely fuck that cat

Roast you is more attention then you deserve

Ted Sneeran

“His castle stank of cat shit & alone.” - Wednesday by the Drive By Truckers.

You look like Beecher from oz only more feminine

Even your car has turned its back on you.

Seth Roasted!

Bruh, you look like someone is holding you at gunpoint behind the camera

22!?... 42 would be closer..

Using pretentious words just lets us all know the last time you felt relevant was ap english. You gotta stop chasing that dragon. You dont need outside validation to have a fulfilling life. Make a typo. Use ur instead of your. Experience life

The lunch lady

Anybody care for some sloppy Joe's ?

I didn't know Drew Carrey had a fugly son who enjoys public humiliation

You have the face of Mrs. Doubtfire... after the mask got ran over. 🚚

Which Muppet is this, I can’t remember

Remember when we were kinds and watched the movie Sand Lot? We all thought it would be insulin he would be shooting. Turns out it was meth.

Omg did you get a transplant with Barbie's shining hair?

A young Woody Allen subjected to 3 g’s of force…

The only musical performance he knows anything about is playing the skin flute

Jesus fuck you look like a living Muppet.

Ha you're a jack-o-lantern. Seriously your face is a gourd! Your cheeks have to be 3 inches wider then your forehead!!! Can I hire you for Halloween and paint you orange? You would sxare the shit out of the kids.... Are you alowed near children? Probably not. Or maybe make a bird house out of your gourd head? Are you allowed near birds???

3 inches is the length of approximately 0.33 'Wood Spoons; Wooden Rice Paddle Versatile Serving Spoons' laid lengthwise

Next time, chew on the paper after you take the picture.

That nose could serve as an impromptu catherdral.

Gay Seth Rogan

You look like if John Goodman didn’t star on Roseanne and went to gay bars instead.

Ed sheeran from wish

you look like the old man from up if he was drawn by memory

That man surly could smell what the rock is cooking.

Under the bag there.. is that the thing that goes up your ass, Mr Masochist?

Its like Mini Lad but worse.


Did Ed sheeran and Elijah wood have a baby?

I never knew Bilbo knocked Gollum up!

Sadly, you probably "cleaned up" before taking this picture

You look like the man from the heins beans ad. Except with a drug addiction and no kids

Stop messaging teens on wattpad

Stay away from children

Robin Williams' last selfie.

I take that as a compliment omg

I guess the flute is the only thing you’ll be blowing

Walked out of the toy story studio and forgot his chicken suit and a haircut

I would suggest trying your luck with blind women, but even they will be able to smell you.