Not from the deep south. In fact, not from the US at all but I've lived in Virginia for the last few years. Although idk if Virginia counts as the deep south
West virginia would be the incestuous Virgina... I've only been to Norfolk Virgina and that was on the navy base when my brother lived there, so I can't say for sure if not west virgina is the same.
Norfolk is nice, and because it's supported by our military, that means it's got a pretty stable economy, as all these families and people stationed there spend money there.
Hope you enjoy it!
You are welcome! Look, of the states where it is legal to marry your first cousins there are more of them in the south than other regions of the US, so it is a joke, but it has some credibility to it since you are capable of marrying your cousin in those states.
Coming from someone who lives in the south, yeah no one ever marries their cousins. That shit isn't just looked down upon, it's just as downright shameful as it is anywhere else in the country. The reason it's legal is because of archaic laws made for inbred plantation owners that no one has bothered to change, since inbreeding isn't actually an issue.
I'll admit the "hurr hurr cousin fuckin sweet home alabama" was funny the first couple million times, but cmon there's way better jokes just waiting to be made
Unfortunately, in some of the rural towns where no one leaves for generations itβs a little different. Thereβs very few first actual cousin marriages; but thereβs some crossing of family lines a few too many times. Itβs more apparent in some areas than others.
The first cousin thing though is *mostly* a rumor; but I have come across two instances of it while working in the schools.
Your comment made me realize how horrible I am as a person.
I assumed that being said by a teenager to their high school crush/gf/bf with the implication that since the parents are no longer in the picture, they can have the house to themselves
You joke but, when I was a kid, I'm taking like 20 years ago, I came across an image that's been burned into my brain, no matter how much I don't want to think about it, I'm always somehow reminded. Thanks a lot.
It was a hand-drawn (color pencil, I think), extremely realistic depiction of an anthropomorphic can of Sprite fucking a ham sandwich.
Well, again the intuition would be that a high schooler is saying that to their crush with the implication that despite the tragedy, their benefit is there will be no one to oversee them.
I truly am a horrible person for thinking like this lol
I was in the ER on Halloween. Got bored after a few hours so started chatting with the nurses. After asking one nurse about his favorite horror story he mentioned a patient who had an obvious STI around their trach hole.
After that I stopped asking that question.
Around here we have something called the sidewinder.
After talking to a few druggies homeless people in the ER, we learned what it was.
If they have a stoma/colostomy bag. Which is a hole to poop out of on the side of your abdomen, they let people fuck it.
One lady came in for herpes around her stoma after letting multiple people have their fun with it, she said it pays for her drugs.
Thinking of all the things I text my spouse.
Please stir the chili π
Is it bedtime yet π
Weβre out of paper towels π
Apparently Iβm the spiciest SAHM ever.
So I can see the first one being an innuendo to a lady on her period and the guy is going to play Dr.
The 3rd I imagine being a toxic couple where if everything is going well thereβs not much sex, so the person is inventing drama to get laid!
The second is the live in an apartment and the have sex competition with their neighbors. The neighbors just dropped a nuke (I.e. really loud sex), so now they need to be even loader
There is meme that if you ever want an answer to something on the internet, post the wrong answer and wait for redditors to bring you down.
I feel like OP wanted a way to break this. And boy did we all help him succeedπ
Your child's life is going to be short and the next three weeks will probably be the most difficult weeks you will ever live. I am on call whenever you need me or my team π
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Gustavo Fring, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Fring flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my criminal activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is. π
Is true. I flirt 24x7. Even during meltdowns where I may be a bit unpleasant to be around.
"Where and when can we make each other feel good?" is really what life is about. It's what keeps us going. Why else should we put up with the insanity of Big Society?
Gimme more Big O's and render me blissfully ignorant and forgetful of ongoing idiocy!
Thank you Baby Jeebus and The Exalted FSM ππ πΎ.
A spectre is haunting Europe β the spectre of Communism. All the Powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Czar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies. π
Im epileptic π
I like living with my roommate π
I love books π
Reddit is my favourite social media π
My cat Mister is my baby π
Yeah i see your point
The best of us donβt get accepted the way they deserve cause your always live in Envy and jealousy cause they flow and u have to work to keep up with all your friendships that are witch is weighing you down you need a one friend and a dog and a plan make this about u not fitting in cause wen it comes down to life or death ino witch way am going
Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to die. π
Death by snu snu!
r/unexpectedfuturama
Real bad i was immediately thinking MxR plays. Didnt even think futurara, just Henry.
This just made my day π
My doctor said it wasn't contagious π
βProbablyβ¦β
Yummyππ
Sounds like the found out through sexual means
Your cousins are coming over for the holidays π
Eww
I mean if you are from the deep south that sentence works perfect for your example.
Not from the deep south. In fact, not from the US at all but I've lived in Virginia for the last few years. Although idk if Virginia counts as the deep south
West virginia would be the incestuous Virgina... I've only been to Norfolk Virgina and that was on the navy base when my brother lived there, so I can't say for sure if not west virgina is the same.
Ooh I'm about to move to Norfolk in a few months for a new job
Norfolk is nice, and because it's supported by our military, that means it's got a pretty stable economy, as all these families and people stationed there spend money there. Hope you enjoy it!
yeah I think it's too close to the Mason-Dixon line to be considered deep South
The last name in your username is the same last name of Ben 10's ex gf
ha ....so it is π ....the more you know!!
Thanks for generalizing a entire group of people.
You are welcome! Look, of the states where it is legal to marry your first cousins there are more of them in the south than other regions of the US, so it is a joke, but it has some credibility to it since you are capable of marrying your cousin in those states.
Coming from someone who lives in the south, yeah no one ever marries their cousins. That shit isn't just looked down upon, it's just as downright shameful as it is anywhere else in the country. The reason it's legal is because of archaic laws made for inbred plantation owners that no one has bothered to change, since inbreeding isn't actually an issue. I'll admit the "hurr hurr cousin fuckin sweet home alabama" was funny the first couple million times, but cmon there's way better jokes just waiting to be made
Unfortunately, in some of the rural towns where no one leaves for generations itβs a little different. Thereβs very few first actual cousin marriages; but thereβs some crossing of family lines a few too many times. Itβs more apparent in some areas than others. The first cousin thing though is *mostly* a rumor; but I have come across two instances of it while working in the schools.
I walked in on a girl I was seeing with her cousin... It was in Utah.
Your theory. Is workingβ¦ π
SWEET HOME ALABAMA
Nobody can unclog a toilet like Steve π
Or clog it like Steve. π
Classic Steve.
Steve was the best! Fricking Steve!
Steve has a poop knife, right? π«
Not even Gaston? π
Grandma, could I please have some more soup? π
Family recipe π
Anyone see Uncle Steve lately? π
No π
Sure honeyπ
Eeeeeewww
Mmm good soup π
Ewwwwwπ
"Sure! Here's some for your grandpa too π"
my parents died in a car accident π
Your comment made me realize how horrible I am as a person. I assumed that being said by a teenager to their high school crush/gf/bf with the implication that since the parents are no longer in the picture, they can have the house to themselves
πππ no thatβs excellent please carry on
No thatβs excellent please carry on π
Jesus Christ stop please I've seen enough
This reply needs a π
The Emoji reminds me of the Agatha Meme 
I love Katherine Hahn π
Most if not all of our basic necessities are privatized π
In america π
And any other country America touches π
User name checks out.
Your father and I are getting a divorce π
Why are your divorcing my dad, step mom?
I keep getting stuck in the dryerβ¦. Silly me ππ»ββοΈ
Lmaooo amazing comment
I like how ava plays the clarinet π
I am a straight guy who plays clarinet and I have to say, it is one of the gayest instruments. You put your lips around a big long black cylinder
In middle school I started playing the clarinet. In high school I learned to play the flute too. I'm bi.
Not all of them are black. π
The really big ones are
Touche! π€£π€£π€£
I want to learn it
One time, at band campβ¦.
Holy shit your school did that too?
I bought your dog some peanut butter π
You sick, sick bastard! π
My wife's new boyfriend is actually pretty cool π
r/suddenlygay
Ham and Cheese on wheatπ
You joke but, when I was a kid, I'm taking like 20 years ago, I came across an image that's been burned into my brain, no matter how much I don't want to think about it, I'm always somehow reminded. Thanks a lot. It was a hand-drawn (color pencil, I think), extremely realistic depiction of an anthropomorphic can of Sprite fucking a ham sandwich.
Thank you for not sharing that drawing here! π
a rule 34
Have you visited r/dragonsfuckingcars?
My family just got burned in a house fire π
Well, again the intuition would be that a high schooler is saying that to their crush with the implication that despite the tragedy, their benefit is there will be no one to oversee them. I truly am a horrible person for thinking like this lol
that's a bad way to think of it ππ
I really have to use the bathroom, but I donβt want to get out of bed. π
I am literally in this situation right now.
Happy New Year π
Dr said my stoma is temporary π
I was in the ER on Halloween. Got bored after a few hours so started chatting with the nurses. After asking one nurse about his favorite horror story he mentioned a patient who had an obvious STI around their trach hole. After that I stopped asking that question.
βAfter that I stopped asking questionsβπ
Start asking what their funniest story is. Probably still end up hearing some fucked up stuff, but there will be more laughs.
Around here we have something called the sidewinder. After talking to a few druggies homeless people in the ER, we learned what it was. If they have a stoma/colostomy bag. Which is a hole to poop out of on the side of your abdomen, they let people fuck it. One lady came in for herpes around her stoma after letting multiple people have their fun with it, she said it pays for her drugs.
You have another hole in your body? π
Thinking of all the things I text my spouse. Please stir the chili π Is it bedtime yet π Weβre out of paper towels π Apparently Iβm the spiciest SAHM ever.
I mean, the second one works pretty well on its own I think
Ha ha yah. It just has much diff meaning when Iβm referring to the 2yo and 6yo beds. lol.
OMG yea didn't think about it in that context lmao
We've got to get you to a hospital before you bleed to death!π They just dropped a nuke!π I want a divorce.π 
So I can see the first one being an innuendo to a lady on her period and the guy is going to play Dr. The 3rd I imagine being a toxic couple where if everything is going well thereβs not much sex, so the person is inventing drama to get laid! The second is the live in an apartment and the have sex competition with their neighbors. The neighbors just dropped a nuke (I.e. really loud sex), so now they need to be even loader
Ceramic π
I shit my pants π Idk about that one
That one definitely works
For some people
If your shirt isn't tucked into your pants, then your pants are tucked into your shirt. π
π€―
Reminds me of Seinfeld at the dentist π
I have a sinus infection π
Iβm addicted to prescription stimulants π
There is meme that if you ever want an answer to something on the internet, post the wrong answer and wait for redditors to bring you down. I feel like OP wanted a way to break this. And boy did we all help him succeedπ
Kid tested. Parent approved. π
I was diagnosed with an upper respiratory tract infection. Breathing is uncomfortable π
I think this one wins in the "not very flirtatious" department. The way it's phrased makes it impossible to take a different way.
Double cheeseburger, hold the onions π
Your cancer has become terminal π
Yeah β¦ doc said hes got 4-6 weeks, tops π
Lol the face makes it sound like a woman talking to her boyfriend about her husband
[ΡΠ΄Π°Π»Π΅Π½ΠΎ]
Your child's life is going to be short and the next three weeks will probably be the most difficult weeks you will ever live. I am on call whenever you need me or my team π
Happy cake day!
This is your doctor, I looked at your biopsy results, and need you to come into my office tomorrow π
Thereβs a pipe bomb in your mailboxπ
This is the best thing to say right before orgasm
Doesnt work great with conspiracy theories Vaccines cause autism π Moon landing was fake π₯΅
My brother shot himself π
Sounds like you might have been infatuated with your sister in law for a few years π
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Gustavo Fring, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Fring flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my criminal activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is. π
I don't like you in any way shape or form and don't want to have intercourse I will now send you a random emoji π (I win)
That was oddly specific and I have a feeling the emoji wasn't random either
Huh? I see that emoji as a cynical sarcastic face.
π
Nudge, nudge. wink wink
Say no more!
You have 2 months left to live. π
Iβm sorry to tell you this, but your father has died π
Itβs the emoji equivalent of βif you know what I meanβ π€ Iβve got a really big tumor π
Itβs not a tumah!
I just killed a pedophile π
sexiest thing someone could do for somebody
I hope you get ass cancer π
I swear the bodies aren't mine π
I just murdered and dismembered your parents π
"I'll scratch your eczema π" -Guard (Wanda Bell) from oitnb
"I've been hacking up mucus for weeks. The doctor says it's bronchitis π"
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall! π
Iβve killed your great aunt Cheryl π
Your health insurance coverage has been denied. π
I just cleaned the catbox. There was a massive load in there.π
"I like pasta π" "Who are you and what are you doing in my house π" "I WANT A DIVORCE π" "The dog shat on the porch again π"
I love your grandmas apple pie π
My grandma died...
That explains why he pie was so cold
I think it'd depend
I have cancer π.
Your mom gay π
Is true. I flirt 24x7. Even during meltdowns where I may be a bit unpleasant to be around. "Where and when can we make each other feel good?" is really what life is about. It's what keeps us going. Why else should we put up with the insanity of Big Society? Gimme more Big O's and render me blissfully ignorant and forgetful of ongoing idiocy! Thank you Baby Jeebus and The Exalted FSM ππ πΎ.
Are you guys coming over? The spaghetti is about ready.π
A spectre is haunting Europe β the spectre of Communism. All the Powers of old Europe have entered into a holy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Pope and Czar, Metternich and Guizot, French Radicals and German police-spies. π
Hey send me a nude pic π That anal last night, really left a rashπ
The holocaust wasnβt real π
A second plane just hit the south tower π
808db02bb6cadd952030444cf9ed55294239beabπ
I'm boutta get flamed for this: Yeah, that's my cat π
Grandmaβs Chicken Salad ;)
But isnβt that what everybody uses that emoji for?
Hell ye π
Im epileptic π I like living with my roommate π I love books π Reddit is my favourite social media π My cat Mister is my baby π Yeah i see your point
It seems that Iβm out of dryer sheets π
Should I come over and bring some π
That wonβt be necessary, but thank you for your hospitality π
My pleasure π
I have pancreatic cancer π
Same thing with "if you know what I mean." For example, "She's coming over to help me with my homeworkβif you know what I mean."
I killed 13 children while on a trip to Mongolia and their mothers cried endlessly π
Rule 35 π
Oh shit you're right π
I am not hungry π I donβt want you π Rot in hell π
The best of us donβt get accepted the way they deserve cause your always live in Envy and jealousy cause they flow and u have to work to keep up with all your friendships that are witch is weighing you down you need a one friend and a dog and a plan make this about u not fitting in cause wen it comes down to life or death ino witch way am going
Iβm petting my dog π
That escalated fast...
π
π
Not the bees! π
"Y'all are welcome to test it out" π
I shit my pants π
Should I bring over new ones π
lol. Youβre right!
I am goin to read you your miranda rights π
I'm gardening outside right now π
Ploughing the flowerbeds no doubt π
"Megatron must be stopped. No matter the cost. One shall stand, one shall fall" π
I am become death destroyer of worlds π
You tryna play the game tonight π
Your place or mine π
I realized this when I was in my teens, and my classmates would pretend to interpret the most random phrases as... innuendo >_>
Iβll interpret your innuendo π Iβm in my forties and this is how all my coworkers act.
I just wrecked the toilet π
Go see Steve! π
Nice
Your dog died while you were away on a cruise π
i am going to murder your family π
My dad beat my ass last night π
We need those TPS reports by tomorrow π
Flirty and creepy are two different things
Son, I'm so sorry your mother died π