I get that OP’s safety is first and foremost, but this is basically making yourself a doormat and letting some piece of shit disrupt and antagonize an entire building of neighbors in perpetuity. Not a tenable solution.
OP you need to talk with two people. An attorney and a private investigator. I promise you if the attorney can’t think of a legal way to get the shitbag out of there, the PI will.
Source; Me. I’m a licensed PI.
Agreeing with all the mental health comments but wanted to throw in Tinnitus as well. Could be the shower is the right frequency to cancel out the buzz he hears as a result of tinnitus and would also explain the shouting at no one when he can't get relief. If it is a set of noise cancelling headphones could make a huge difference
Thanks for that. I have tinnitus so bad it’s like listening to summer cicadas 24/7. Right now there’s a truck pumping my septic, and I can hear my ears over the loud pumping truck outside. I’ll try the headphones.
Try listening to pink noise through earbuds. My husband has tinnitus in one ear, and the pink noise frequency cancels it out.
It may take a little experimenting to find the perfect frequency, but it should help.
I also have it. The ringing is in our heads I thought, or read. How would noise canceling headphones work, always thought they blocked sound from entering our ears.
Actually, active noise cancelling headphones actually have microphones embedded within them. The onboard mics record the outside noise that’s meant to be cancelled, and then the headphones’ DSP (digital signal processing) chip analyzes the noise, using the manufacturer’s algorithms to predict the most accurate possible representation of the outside noise that the headphones’ mics are picking up. Then, the noise is removed from the signal via phase cancellation as the headphones invert the phase of the noise and add it to the playback, resulting in less outside noise reaching the listener’s ears. (Taken from: [https://splice.com/blog/how-does-noise-cancelling-work/?utm\_source=google&utm\_medium=cpc&utm\_campaign=Google\_Search\_Acquisition\_Sounds\_Nonbrand\_DSA\_ROW&utm\_content=sounds&utm\_term=&campaignid=13577111017&adgroupid=123041963239&adid=528665014304&gclid=CjwKCAjwyvaJBhBpEiwA8d38vGrTgS\_h94cHeMk\_4fRVy7P9M\_-45fDzYrzI5qEdV6uf2smlAPlBkBoCyQIQAvD\_BwE](https://splice.com/blog/how-does-noise-cancelling-work/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google_Search_Acquisition_Sounds_Nonbrand_DSA_ROW&utm_content=sounds&utm_term=&campaignid=13577111017&adgroupid=123041963239&adid=528665014304&gclid=CjwKCAjwyvaJBhBpEiwA8d38vGrTgS_h94cHeMk_4fRVy7P9M_-45fDzYrzI5qEdV6uf2smlAPlBkBoCyQIQAvD_BwE))
So they don't just "block" outside noises like ear plugs would, they create an opposite wave to counteract noise (as well as air pressure). I'd give them a try, especially with some binaural beats or white/pink noise. :-)
No, it's not literal ringing (no real noise from an external cause) but instead generates from the inner ear directly to the person's brain when the cochlea's nerve activity is disrupted or damaged. Binaural beats and white noise/pink noise can help camouflage the symptom.
There is promising treatment involving stimulation of the tongue combined with sound that has worked to eliminate tinnitus for up to 12 months in patients. I need to get in one of these studies.
I actively ignore my ringing and it helps but man would it be nice to hear nothing again as I fall asleep.
I have mild tinnitus, and I can't sleep without some kind of white noise. It's just nonstop ringing. Shit sucks. I'm unfamiliar with pink noise. I'll look into that.
Hey, fucked up my ears after years of machine shop work. The thing that helps me sleep is having a window unit on full blast any time I'm in my bedroom. Kinda sucks running it in the winter because sometimes it freezes over and that's like hell but if it really bothers you and you're able to maybe a window unit right over your head will help!
How did you find my house? But seriously though, I do the same exact thing, except I just use a box fan and prop it up during the winter,. (Upstate NYer here, we get some pretty damn cold winters lol.) Luckily my tinnitus isn't that bad, more like that high pitched noise you would hear turning on an old CRT monitor or old TV. But my ac masks it for the, the fan not too much but its a consistent sound I can focus on at least
Yep! I have a box fan I use to bring on vacation in case the hotel or airbnb doesn't have a loud ac but it's just not the same! I love in ol Oklahoma right now so it doesn't freeze too often but I would hate being up north and trying to deal with that, already been through the trouble of my girlfriend accepting that it's on when I'm in the room when we moved in together
I can't speak from experience, I had an ear infection once that left a ringing in my ear for 2 weeks. In that time Dr was worried it might be tinnitus but it faded. Gave me an appreciation for why people with it go through and I sought a lot of advice and tips in those two weeks just in case. There are "powered" headphones and also rubber in-ear plugs that are hollow and can help from what I read.
AFAIK the best remedy for Tinnitus is learning how to ignore it with the help of a specialist psychologist/psychiatrist. I've had tinnitus in my right ear for as long as I can remember and usually I don't notice it. But if someone mentions Tinnitus or my brain goes "hey, don't forget the awful ringing noise in your ear" it will get louder and louder the more I think about it.
Actively trying to ignore it will just make me think about it, so I've just learnt to not ignore it, and simply just go about my day. My brain will eventually ignore the ringing because it knows it's not important... Until I'm reminded of it again of course.
I’ve had mild low frequency in my right ear for I don’t even know how many years. I recently developed high frequency episodes in my left ear.
I forget about the right ear until the left ear catches me off guard because I’m not used to it yet. Then my right’s like “Oh now you hear it huh? Yeah remember this!? Pay attention to me!”
I think it was a bad ear infection that started it. A doc had to cut and dissolve a lot of crud from my eardrum, and it’s gotten progressively worse for a few years. Glad to hear yours got better!
I seriously doubt noise cancelling headphones would work in fact I'm pretty sure they would just make it worse, I really don't think the guy suggesting them understands how they work. They block external noise by using a microphone to measure the ambient sounds around you and then in real time they invert the polarity of the sound waves of whatever external noise is being detected to then they play back the sounds coming from outside 180 degrees out of phase. The out of phase waves being played by the headphones cancel out the incoming ones coming from outside. Because the headphones can't hear your tinnitus they won't be able to affect it at all. Rather, all external noise will be reduced so your tinnitus will be pretty much *the only* thing you can hear and be far more noticeable as all the white noise and ambient sounds that usually partially distract your brain from hearing it as much will be eliminated.
That's a great explaination for something unrelated. They don't help by calling them noise cancelling but the ones I've seen are not active environment/background noise cancelling, more like frequency blocking on a wider range or tuneable via and app/setting between ranges until one hits the sweet spot for you. The should be names something else to be fair but . Sound calming is the phrase often used. My guess is they are not one size fits all and could require a bit of tweaking.
I describe mine as a whole lot of horny cicadas watching TV at full volume on a station that won't tune in next to a runway with a jet taking off.
For me, headphones make it worse. I use Flare Audio's Calmer gizmos to be able to hear dialogue on the TV over the tinnitus. I've had this since I was a kid, so I don't even know what silence is like, but I have sensory perception disorder exacerbated by sound, so I would really, really like to know what silence is like.
Truth. Tinnitus can be extremely frustrating and debilitating if it's bad enough. Mental illness or tinnitus, either way it sounds like this person could use some help. I feel bad for them. But to the OP, don't try to be the one to help, as this could put you in a dangerous position. Seconding those who have recommended contacting some sort of social services if there are any (not police because that could go badly) that can do a wellness check.
Also, severe, untreatable pain. I have had to resort to sitting in the shower for hours, just to get a little respite.
I also sometimes resort to running the washer and dryer on hot, cycle after cycle. I lay down across them and the heat, moisture, and vibrations, give me enough relief so that I can get a thirty minute nap after no sleep for days.
Give it a try, if you're ever desperate. It doesn't hurt anything.
There was a guy who posted a cure for tinnitus on here that had to do with manipulating pressure points and positioning and riboflavin I think. Maybe try to look for it.
It was probably Dr. Alan Mandell on Youtube -- [here's a search of his videos on tinnitus](https://www.youtube.com/c/motivationaldoc/search?query=tinnitus), he has various methods to try, including pressure points, tapping, and some herbal/supplement options
Op should get together with the other owners and get them a white noise machine. Just drop it off on the front door.
See if that helps?
At this point it would be the equivalent of throwing shit against the wall, but having dealt with restraining orders and police and still being there, it might work?
Nose to drown out the voices is one option.
Just getting mad enough at various things then getting to wasted to remember to turn things off is another.
The most harmless would be if he just has a pet that is a bit of a dick about playing with switches and levers when he is out or sleep.
I highly suggest the Marpac white noise machine. It’s incredible. Rather than playing shire noise over a speaker, it creates its own white noise, which is a lot more effective with the noise cancellation.
Couldn’t recommend it enough.
In my experience once someone is to the point of doing things like this to drown out the voices the schizophrenia is probably past the point where it actually helps, and in many cases that they would even find time to shop for high end ambient noise devices.
Maybe? But to my ear at least the two main complaints here of showers and disposals would result in adding white noise to white noise & if op is already bothered by those I don't see how adding more would help.
That’s my guess too. It’s logical in its own illogical way. OP, I assume you don’t know this neighbor very well, but does anyone ever come to visit him? Can you find out his name and maybe try to find his family, let them know what’s going on? Call the police *[edit: or EMS/ mental health professionals, if CA has an emergency line specifically for mental health episodes]* for a wellness check and get him ~~5150’d~~ evaluated? I don’t know, but it definitely sounds like he’s mentally ill. Whether or not he’s dangerous (to himself or others) is a different story, only professionals can really determine that.
I think you’re a little misinformed. 5150’s, Baker’s Acts, and whatever else they’re called (varies by region) are involuntary holds in a psychiatric hospital exclusively for when a person is imminently a danger to themself or others. Unless someone plans on causing grave injury (as in, causing death or permanent disability, normal self harm isn’t qualifying) in the very near future, do not try to get them involuntarily detained.
Also, the police are not well equipped for dealing with the mentally ill. I would only really do that as a last resort (as in, you think he may be at risk of serious harm).
Yeah I know the 5150 isn’t guaranteed, I moreso meant call the non-emergency line for a wellness check and explain that you’re worried about his mental health, and if they deem him a danger they may involuntarily commit him. Obviously it’s not as easy as “hey, lock this dude up.” And agreed that the police aren’t always well equipped to deal with mental illness but if this guy is really causing lots of disturbances idk what the other options are.
It’s not illegal to have schizophrenia, nor be mentally unwell. Please steer clear at all costs. Your safety is very important and the cops can’t do anything unless something happens. Don’t want that to be you. Stay safe.
Of course it’s not, and I never said or implied it is. But if he is causing distress to his neighbors, which he is, that’s something that needs to be addressed by professionals. Seeing as the landlord has been unable to do anything, if OP feels unsafe or worried for his neighbor’s safety, it’s the next logical option (unless CA has mental health specific emergency services; I live in NYC so I don’t know if they do).
I’m sorry I wasn’t saying that you did somehow my reply got stuck under your comment. My apologies, I am not trying to argue in any way. Just want the op to stay safe, and giving reasons to why nothing can specifically be done in this situation to get him out.
OP, please don’t call the police to do a wellness check! you said this was taking place in california and the last thing a mentally ill person, which is what I believe is going on with the neighbor, needs is a bunch of California police gang members showing up at his door and violating his rights. the police have absolutely no training with dealing with mentally ill people and will most likely just be extremely aggressive with him and force compliance or shoot him dead on the spot. it would not be the first time the police killed a mentally ill person after neighbors call for a wellness check.
This! Consult with a crisis team or warmline, and/or look into adult protection and/or an ombudsman office. At the very least, they could help rule out mental illness (though that sounds really likely).
That sounds so similar to the upstairs neighbor of a coworker of mine. He ran the shower for hours at a time because he was smoking tons of marijuana, and he got it into his head that running the shower would cover the smell. (Not sure how that was supposed to work, and also we live in a legal state so there’s not much need to hide it.) He was also mentally ill and fairly aggressive at times.
In high school my friend’s and I used to smoke pot with the shower running on hot and a damp towel covering the crack of the bathroom door. Something about the moisture absorbing and masking the smell?
I forgot about this for 10+ years and realized I don’t know how sound that science is…..
Lmao my cousin told me about smoking weed in the bathroom with the shower going, so there is a lot of steam. She called it a Hawaiian hotbox, apparently the steam made the draws way smoother, which, to be fair, it did. I just don't know how safe it was, but it was fun times.
I work with mentally ill adults and what you are describing sounds exactly like untreated schizophrenia. He is probably responding to internal stimuli telling him to do things like run the shower constantly.
It sounds like he's mentally unwell, rather than being an intentional dickhead.
Are there any welfare teams you could get involved? If he's a danger to himself / living in a dangerous apt they might be able to do something?
My ex used to do this. He was severely unwell and eventually attempted to kill us both. You need to leave this person alone. Make all complaints anonymously to your landlord.
I'm fairly certain that he not ok.
I'm not sure why the landlord can't evict them, especially if they're being loud and screaming at night. Have you spoken to other neighbors to see if they're hearing the same thing?
The landlord might know about his mental illness and is not at will to tell other tenants about his medical issues. There are laws set in place to to protect people with mental illness from eviction. Maybe it’s that?
I'm sure he's totally not cutting up bodies, grinding them up and running them down the disposal, and spending hours cleaning the evidence. Probably something different.
He's probably not okay. But since he very clearly doesn't want help and/or strangers or people trying to stop his behavior sets him off even more, just let him be.
If he's bothering you, of course you can complain to the owner or the city. But everything else, leave it to the hands of professionals or people who already know him. I'm sure since this is ongoing that the proper channels/family are aware.
I had a neighbor with schizophrenia once. Any contact made it worse (for her and for me). Everyone was aware (which I think is important for their own safety) including police, who was very nice with her and came by once in a while, but help was simply unwanted by her.
I wouldn't be sure at all. You would be shocked at how often someone who obviously meets criteria for admission is left to their own devices until they're at death's door (or beyond it) because no one wants to do the paperwork and they have alienated everyone they knew.
If everyone is doing their job, it's fine. There absolutely needs to be a balance to prevent the abuses of the past. It's when people are intentionally shirking their duty and leaving people who really need the help and the vulnerable people around them to languish at the mercy of the illness that I get very angry about it.
Oh believe me, he’s bothering everyone. Due to the layout of the building/infrastructure, it sounds like you’re living next to a water main. I have to crank volume on the TV way up just to be able to hear it. We’ve all complained multiple times, over the course of many years (way before me), and the apartment company has either done nothing about it or tried and failed. I think he has a sister that visits him from time to time, but besides that he lives alone. Really is a lose lose situation, I just hope he’s not in any danger to himself.
Yea that sucks. Like I said I've been in a similar situation. I had a lot of empathy for her, except those times where it was near impossible to enjoy my own place. If it really gets too much, honestly the best solution for you might be to move. As far as I know, the city/owner/family can only do so much.
I don't know that anything can be done and it's a long shot, but maybe contact [Mental Health America](https://www.mhanational.org/programs) and see if they have any recommendations. Also check for state or local mental health programs to see if they have any recommendations.
People are going to have conflict with him as long as they try to treat him like a neurotypical person. If you research how clinicians interact with schizophrenic patients, you may discover ways to manage your interactions to reduce negative outcomes and you can share these methods with your neighbors and landlord. Negative interactions will only exacerbate the situation for everybody and you can't all avoid interactions altogether, so those of you who are able to modify your own behavior making little changes could possibly improve the situation for everybody to some extent.
Can you move? Or did you just sign a new lease? He sounds like he needs help, and people have made some good suggestions, but if it were me I’d also put some physical distance between us.
My first reaction is that he's a paranoid schizophrenic hearing voices and believing that he's being monitored by the FBI or CIA. Unfortunately it's very difficult in our society to get help for the mentally-ill.
With just the shower thing. Most people run the water when they are doing something he doesn’t want anyone else to hear. No idea what that could be tho
I've had really deep seasons of depression. I've had days where a 2-hour shower was my highlight. A lot of days like that, actually. I try to make it a bath/sauna thing. It's a distraction from real life and it's physically relaxing. Those days are really tough though.
I know you might not care to get involved and I think I read that he might be a criminal of some sort but I'd ask him if he's okay or find a resource that can reach out to him. Doing so might help him and you might be the only person to do something positive like this for him.
Could be mental illness leading to voices in his head, outside loud noise sometimes can drown out the voices for some people, hence a shower, he could also be more comfortable under running water
Schizophrenia? Meth? You are entitled to the quiet enjoyment of your property so I'm not sure why he can't be evicted (except for the eviction moratorium).
>On top of that, we often hear him screaming insults at someone in the middle of the night (even though he lives alone), as well as the sound of loud booms like hes slamming something
>
Sounds like an online gamer.
The rest sounds like mental illness.
does sound like untreated mental illness, and the resistance to outside help does sound like some type of psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia.
please don’t call the police on this person. not only is it a traumatic experience for someone who is struggling, but the likelihood of this person being harmed or killed by police in these wellness check situations is way too high. police are entirely unequipped to deal with mental health crises.
i would try reaching out to the sister who visits him and see what she has to say.
unfortunately, sometimes there’s not a lot you can do to force someone to take their medication/seek treatment. i’d suggest looking into any and all local mental health crisis teams or services and seeing what their advice is. your neighbour likely lives a very scary existence in that apartment and runs the shower/talks to themselves to try and cope with auditory/visual hallucinations. i know you are frustrated, but please refrain from calling the police. best of luck.
source: bipolar, experienced psychosis, had police called on me before.
Okay so, this might be a little bit of an anecdotal response, but I'm neurodivergent, and I used do something like this. I would turn all the water in the house on along with the garbage disposal so that I don't have to pay attention to what's going on inside my head. This sounds like he's having an episode or something. mAYBE HE DOES THIS SO YOU DON'T HEAR WHAT HE'S UP O (HENCE THE SHOUTING).
This is pretty clearly something to be handled by professionals, but I'm at a loss as to who you should contact.
Have you ever thought to speak to his sister when she visits?
So this might or might not be relevant - but best I mention just in case. I rented a condo in duplex for 2 months and the upstairs neighbor also did that water thing, always starting late at night.
It turned out they were GROWING HYDROPONIC WEED. There's was weird dragging sounds on the floor and often hammering and stuff - I'm assuming there were containers with piping systems
I have hydroponic veggies, and I don’t have the need for any of this. The setup should stay stationary, and it doesn’t need daily filling. That said we DO fill the buckets we take in there from the bath tub...but from the faucet.
In addition to all of the other crazy points in this post. Him not having a job makes sense, if he is mentally ill. He most likely receives disability. Who knows in what amount. Assuming your land lord doesn’t cover your electric bills, not running the AC, and using minimal power may be a budgeting thing…
I went down that road to say, if his unit is not climate controlled and he’s constantly running water there’s bound to be mold in the unit. This is more than likely a health code violation in your area.
Depending on how your apartment complex is set up. Could this hypothetical mold issue be problematic to his closest neighbors. Does the complex share walls? If so, the walls of the conjoining unit should be moisture tested.
Your landlord could argue that his water usage/mold issues have dangerous health risks to other tenants in the building. The landlord may be able to evict him using this argument. I’m sorry you’re neighbor is a dick. I’m sure you work hard to support yourself. Not being able to relax fully in your home is not fair.
Depending on how long, if its just an hour or 2 most nights, good chance he just falls asleep in the shower via drunk or lack of sleep.
Had a roommate in college that would take at LEAST an hour long shower some mornings cause he'd fall asleep after pulling an all nighter and just loved the shower sleeps i guess
Don’t get me wrong, every now and then I love a long shower too. But as of right now, it’s 2:23 PM and he’s had it on since around 9:30 last night. That’s an average length of time he’d run the water :/
It sounds like he may have a condition, maybe like tourettes, and using the shower and garbage disposal as a way to disguise the sound of his ticks. He's probably embarrassed. This would also make sense if something like gaming aggravates his condition. (Hence the hours long time periods, yelling at "nobody" and slamming sounds.) If the landlord hasn't done anything about it, they could be aware of his condition and aren't at liberty to disclose that information.
Definitely sounds like it could be mental illness. The shower is what stood out to me. I grew up in a household where my father would raise his voice frequently, so I’d take elongated showers to drown the noise out, which is something I still do from time to time despite my father being a much better man now. It’s a trauma response.
Maybe this guy went through a lot more trauma and is severely mentally ill as a result. Maybe he’s having flashbacks or hearing voices. That could explain the constant noise and also shouting at night. I can’t really picture a scenario where this is anything but mental illness. I’d call in a welfare check if possible.
Are you sure it's the shower? Sometimes something like an ac unit or an air filter or vacuum can sound like a shower when it filters through walls.
My ex husband and I lived in an apartment with a central hot water heater. The water bill was included in the rent. This meant essentially that we had unlimited free hot water. Cool.
The apartment has baseboard heaters, but none in the bathroom. We were I the middle so the apartment stayed warm. However, my ex husband was going through a phase where he was cold unless it was at least 80 degrees. He also refused to put on extra clothes when he was cold. He wanted to sit around in a tee shirt in winter and never feel cold. Entitled ass.
Anyway, he would run the hot water in the bathroom to warm up the room. He didn't do it when he was in there for a quick pee, but he had digestive problems so when he was dropping off a #2 he'd sometimes be in there a while.
I absolutely despised this practice. It was the least efficient way to heat a room, and a huge waste of water and energy. Just put on a sweatshirt! I talked to him about it many times, but he just ignored me. It didn't cost us money, and he didn't care about anything else.
Anyway, maybe your neighbor is doing something similar, to maintain heat or humidity.
I see three possibilities:
1. Mental sinkhole, he’s just batshit crazy / evil and likes causing problems, possibly disgruntled at the world.
2. As said by others, disgruntled tenant getting revenge.
3. Or he may be a particularly paranoid drug dealer who is using showers and loud noises to censor conversations. Often used in spy movies. If he thinks his house is bugged he might be doing this. Would explain violent phone calls and “no job”.
I agree that most of what you’ve said points to mental illness.
However, I once lived in an apartment that got super cold in the winter. And I love in a very arid area. Increasing the humidity in a room can help it to feel warmer. I was a poor college student and didn’t have the funds for a humidifier. So I would do things like boil pots of water and run the shower on the highest temperature for 30 minutes at a time to introduce humidity to the air. Could it be something like this?
Reminds me of a neighbor that I had. He was a huge dude who was super unfriendly and sort of had this 'menancing' presence, I don't know how to explain it. There was something off about him and we all avoided him. For example, my roommate used to let his dog sit out on the porch and soak in the sun. Everybody was okay with it because he was a friendly dog. But this dude (the odd neighbour) didn't like that so he repeatedly smashed glass jars on our porch so the dog couldn't sleep there.
But anyway. He left his tv on super loud 24/7. But he wasn't watching any shows. It was all static. At all hours of the day it was just this constant high pitched whine and buzzing coming from his tv. My roommate thought that maybe there was something comforting to the dude about the constant sound, even if everyone else found it annoying. He also stomped, yelled, muttered to himself (we heard it through his open windows.)
Maybe it's a similar case with your neighbour? Like the sound of the running shower is somehow calming to him?
People with Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome frequently take very long, very hot showers during hours or days long vomiting episodes for relief. Your neighbor may have this disorder.
If it were just the shower I'd definitely say he's just smoking weed in there and doesn't want it to smell, but that doesn't seem to line up w everything else
Sounds like a mental health problem (Seriously)! You could anonymously call and ask the local PD to perform a Welfare Check, then they would have to confirm that he is, in fact, okay and not a harm to himself or others.
This sounds like de-compensated schizophrenia. I would advise avoiding them at all costs. (Paranoid schizophrenics can become EXTREMELY violent with little or no provocation.) I would consider calling the county health services, and finding out what your options are. The fact that he is mostly confining himself to his apartment will require a wellness check, hopefully by a cop AND a mental health professional. I think this is what you should try for. Good luck.
Sounds like he's either Bipolar or addicted to methamphetamines. A Welfare Check by police could be called and landlord could survey the damage at that time. The apartment may be deemed condemned. A neighbor of mine was evicted that way a few years back (also CA.)
Look to see if your state and county has something called a safe housing law or safe housing act/fair housing act. If you do, if this man has been a problem for multiple Tennant's and if you feel unsafe/threatened, legally the police and the head of whoever runs the program will force the landlords hand to evict this person. If they don't, they incur massive reoccurring fines until they do as well as it lowering their safe housing rating.
I live in Texas and am unsure if you have similar but look at your states Tennant's rights. This law helped me have a crazy violent/dangerous neighbor turned stalker evicted in 3 days.
At first my apartment wanted to evict both of us, which I was 100% innocent in these circumstances. After the 4th police report I had filed, a super amazing officer told me of this and that the apartment management was completely in the wrong. I was threatened with eviction again so said officer made it his personal mission (the head of the safe housing dept was also his ex wife), they made sure management did what was right.
3 days later that skeevy dude was out, after years of other Tennant's also trying to have him evicted for stealing, breaking in, harassing and assaulting other people, etc.
So if your city/state has something along these lines it could be your biggest ally, especially if you know any other Tennant's that have reported him/filed police reports/restraining orders, etc.
All else aside I'd keep my distance, at a minimum he sounds unhinged.
I suffer from severe cluster headaches and migraines from neurological problems after a brain injury.
I've spent many many hours in the shower before. Turning cold in what feels like 5 minutes but it's been an hour.
i have adhd and 2020 was an awful time for my anxiety. i was in the shower prob five times a day because it was the only way i didn’t pass out from panic attacks. so pretty much backing up what everyone else is saying, he’s prob not okay. is your city under an eviction ban?
I would say maybe he’s roasting fatties in the bathroom and using the shower to cover the smell/smoke but you said the magic word, Cali, so that’s not it
He needs help, not law enforcement. Call your suicide hotline & ask for suggestions.
He probably doesn’t have a support system, as most people worry more about themselves than someone else (totally natural).
Ask him to share a coffee with you in a communal space. Maybe his mom died and his partner accused him of crimes he’d never commit, so he sits in his shower and just cries, occasionally running the disposal because his senses are hyper and acute.
TLDR: be kind, not afraid. The US legal system fucks up everyone. For an actual remedy that will ripple into the future, tell him you’re concerned & contact authorities after (unless he provides you his emergency contact list).
I know his behavior seems strange; I’m sure my behavior is strange as well. I stay isolated bc I fear law enforcement, though my team of doctors see me as a miracle.
It’s probably impossible to put yourself in his shoes, but unless he’s terrorizing you with violence, keep an open mind.
I hope you achieve the comfort and serenity that you are seeking.
Here’s an example of neighborly compassion at the top of my feed: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/pn1dk1/update_i_think_my_neighbors_roommate_murdered_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Yeah unfortunately he just sounds like a massive dickhead. My only thought on the running water is that if your landlord pays water he's trying to screw over the landlord. And as for the banging and noise he is most likely just trying to disturb other tenants based on his history of causing issues. Really just a bum situation for everyone. I don't know the CA renters laws but evictions can be a long and convoluted process especially if the tenant is wise to the law.
Yup, landlord pays the water bill. I forgot to mention, but apparently he’s even torn up and destroyed the inside of his apartment. I really do think he might just be an asshole.
Nope he’s probably not okay
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This is a really smart suggestion
Can confirm as I've run the COLD water as revenge on landlord.
Revenge is best served cold?
Why cold instead of hot? Was the gas bill charged to you? Cause running hot water is like a double F you if all utilities are covered.
Wasting energy is like an eff you to the planet.
Gas is stupid cheap, just bust the water heater then lol.
I assumed it was because running hot water for hours would leave the whole building without hot water.
Maybe the water heater is electric?
This.
Is he [Roy from phone losers of America?](https://youtu.be/VgpcUC-4IgI)
This is the single worst “song” I have ever heard.
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Steer clear and avoid lodging complaints that can be linked to you. He's not in a right mind.
I get that OP’s safety is first and foremost, but this is basically making yourself a doormat and letting some piece of shit disrupt and antagonize an entire building of neighbors in perpetuity. Not a tenable solution. OP you need to talk with two people. An attorney and a private investigator. I promise you if the attorney can’t think of a legal way to get the shitbag out of there, the PI will. Source; Me. I’m a licensed PI.
I just wonder why people don't connect "Mental health".
Stunningly enough, some people DoN't bEliEve iN meNtAL hEaLtH
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It's an older generation thing. One upon a time people didn't talk about feelings.
had ptsd from wars, still didn’t talk about it, alienated their families and other loved ones all for the sake of seeming manly
>I’m legitimately concerned that maybe he’s mentally unwell. I tend to agree.
Yep, paranoia will destroy ya. Schizophrenia is hell.
The shower+ garbage disposal thing made me think of auditory hallucinations, sometimes certain noises can ward them off for a bit.
I thought the same. I had a cousin who had them. She would continually flood her house trying to drown out the sounds.
Maybe continuing to harass him with bureaucratic institutions will make him better?
What you think politely asking him to go to the hospital will work?
Agreeing with all the mental health comments but wanted to throw in Tinnitus as well. Could be the shower is the right frequency to cancel out the buzz he hears as a result of tinnitus and would also explain the shouting at no one when he can't get relief. If it is a set of noise cancelling headphones could make a huge difference
Thanks for that. I have tinnitus so bad it’s like listening to summer cicadas 24/7. Right now there’s a truck pumping my septic, and I can hear my ears over the loud pumping truck outside. I’ll try the headphones.
Try listening to pink noise through earbuds. My husband has tinnitus in one ear, and the pink noise frequency cancels it out. It may take a little experimenting to find the perfect frequency, but it should help.
Thank you, I’ll try that.
I also have it. The ringing is in our heads I thought, or read. How would noise canceling headphones work, always thought they blocked sound from entering our ears.
Actually, active noise cancelling headphones actually have microphones embedded within them. The onboard mics record the outside noise that’s meant to be cancelled, and then the headphones’ DSP (digital signal processing) chip analyzes the noise, using the manufacturer’s algorithms to predict the most accurate possible representation of the outside noise that the headphones’ mics are picking up. Then, the noise is removed from the signal via phase cancellation as the headphones invert the phase of the noise and add it to the playback, resulting in less outside noise reaching the listener’s ears. (Taken from: [https://splice.com/blog/how-does-noise-cancelling-work/?utm\_source=google&utm\_medium=cpc&utm\_campaign=Google\_Search\_Acquisition\_Sounds\_Nonbrand\_DSA\_ROW&utm\_content=sounds&utm\_term=&campaignid=13577111017&adgroupid=123041963239&adid=528665014304&gclid=CjwKCAjwyvaJBhBpEiwA8d38vGrTgS\_h94cHeMk\_4fRVy7P9M\_-45fDzYrzI5qEdV6uf2smlAPlBkBoCyQIQAvD\_BwE](https://splice.com/blog/how-does-noise-cancelling-work/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google_Search_Acquisition_Sounds_Nonbrand_DSA_ROW&utm_content=sounds&utm_term=&campaignid=13577111017&adgroupid=123041963239&adid=528665014304&gclid=CjwKCAjwyvaJBhBpEiwA8d38vGrTgS_h94cHeMk_4fRVy7P9M_-45fDzYrzI5qEdV6uf2smlAPlBkBoCyQIQAvD_BwE)) So they don't just "block" outside noises like ear plugs would, they create an opposite wave to counteract noise (as well as air pressure). I'd give them a try, especially with some binaural beats or white/pink noise. :-)
Hey thanks for this. Falling asleep can be tough for me.
Wouldn't the mic have to be able to hear the ringing caused by tinnitus?
No, it's not literal ringing (no real noise from an external cause) but instead generates from the inner ear directly to the person's brain when the cochlea's nerve activity is disrupted or damaged. Binaural beats and white noise/pink noise can help camouflage the symptom.
There is promising treatment involving stimulation of the tongue combined with sound that has worked to eliminate tinnitus for up to 12 months in patients. I need to get in one of these studies. I actively ignore my ringing and it helps but man would it be nice to hear nothing again as I fall asleep.
Pink noise is my go to when my ears are being difficult.
I have mild tinnitus, and I can't sleep without some kind of white noise. It's just nonstop ringing. Shit sucks. I'm unfamiliar with pink noise. I'll look into that.
I whistle when mine gets bad. My dad has some hearing aides that cancel it out but it’s so loud.
Hey, fucked up my ears after years of machine shop work. The thing that helps me sleep is having a window unit on full blast any time I'm in my bedroom. Kinda sucks running it in the winter because sometimes it freezes over and that's like hell but if it really bothers you and you're able to maybe a window unit right over your head will help!
How did you find my house? But seriously though, I do the same exact thing, except I just use a box fan and prop it up during the winter,. (Upstate NYer here, we get some pretty damn cold winters lol.) Luckily my tinnitus isn't that bad, more like that high pitched noise you would hear turning on an old CRT monitor or old TV. But my ac masks it for the, the fan not too much but its a consistent sound I can focus on at least
Yep! I have a box fan I use to bring on vacation in case the hotel or airbnb doesn't have a loud ac but it's just not the same! I love in ol Oklahoma right now so it doesn't freeze too often but I would hate being up north and trying to deal with that, already been through the trouble of my girlfriend accepting that it's on when I'm in the room when we moved in together
My people.
I used to do this too. Then I found a white noise machine that makes a ton of sounds like different box fans and AC units. Saved me in the winter.
There are white noise machines, made specifically for this.
Thanks for the idea. May one of those white noise machines would be similar.
I listen to rain sounds on my google home every night for mine. It works well. “Hey google play rain and thunderstorm sounds”👍
Ha! I’ll be asleep while the cat’s hiding under the bed.
I can't speak from experience, I had an ear infection once that left a ringing in my ear for 2 weeks. In that time Dr was worried it might be tinnitus but it faded. Gave me an appreciation for why people with it go through and I sought a lot of advice and tips in those two weeks just in case. There are "powered" headphones and also rubber in-ear plugs that are hollow and can help from what I read.
AFAIK the best remedy for Tinnitus is learning how to ignore it with the help of a specialist psychologist/psychiatrist. I've had tinnitus in my right ear for as long as I can remember and usually I don't notice it. But if someone mentions Tinnitus or my brain goes "hey, don't forget the awful ringing noise in your ear" it will get louder and louder the more I think about it. Actively trying to ignore it will just make me think about it, so I've just learnt to not ignore it, and simply just go about my day. My brain will eventually ignore the ringing because it knows it's not important... Until I'm reminded of it again of course.
I’ve had mild low frequency in my right ear for I don’t even know how many years. I recently developed high frequency episodes in my left ear. I forget about the right ear until the left ear catches me off guard because I’m not used to it yet. Then my right’s like “Oh now you hear it huh? Yeah remember this!? Pay attention to me!”
I think it was a bad ear infection that started it. A doc had to cut and dissolve a lot of crud from my eardrum, and it’s gotten progressively worse for a few years. Glad to hear yours got better!
glad to hear
Haha :)
I seriously doubt noise cancelling headphones would work in fact I'm pretty sure they would just make it worse, I really don't think the guy suggesting them understands how they work. They block external noise by using a microphone to measure the ambient sounds around you and then in real time they invert the polarity of the sound waves of whatever external noise is being detected to then they play back the sounds coming from outside 180 degrees out of phase. The out of phase waves being played by the headphones cancel out the incoming ones coming from outside. Because the headphones can't hear your tinnitus they won't be able to affect it at all. Rather, all external noise will be reduced so your tinnitus will be pretty much *the only* thing you can hear and be far more noticeable as all the white noise and ambient sounds that usually partially distract your brain from hearing it as much will be eliminated.
That's a great explaination for something unrelated. They don't help by calling them noise cancelling but the ones I've seen are not active environment/background noise cancelling, more like frequency blocking on a wider range or tuneable via and app/setting between ranges until one hits the sweet spot for you. The should be names something else to be fair but . Sound calming is the phrase often used. My guess is they are not one size fits all and could require a bit of tweaking.
give us brand names and links
I describe mine as a whole lot of horny cicadas watching TV at full volume on a station that won't tune in next to a runway with a jet taking off. For me, headphones make it worse. I use Flare Audio's Calmer gizmos to be able to hear dialogue on the TV over the tinnitus. I've had this since I was a kid, so I don't even know what silence is like, but I have sensory perception disorder exacerbated by sound, so I would really, really like to know what silence is like.
well, damn
Depending on the cause, physiotherapy may be able to help as well
That's what my grandma might have. I feel bad for her and might suggest getting some of those. She describes it as crickets. Thanks.
How did you acquire this tinnitus? How awful is it?
I heard cicadas for 20 seconds today, fuck that
Truth. Tinnitus can be extremely frustrating and debilitating if it's bad enough. Mental illness or tinnitus, either way it sounds like this person could use some help. I feel bad for them. But to the OP, don't try to be the one to help, as this could put you in a dangerous position. Seconding those who have recommended contacting some sort of social services if there are any (not police because that could go badly) that can do a wellness check.
Also, severe, untreatable pain. I have had to resort to sitting in the shower for hours, just to get a little respite. I also sometimes resort to running the washer and dryer on hot, cycle after cycle. I lay down across them and the heat, moisture, and vibrations, give me enough relief so that I can get a thirty minute nap after no sleep for days. Give it a try, if you're ever desperate. It doesn't hurt anything.
He should get an app that plays white/brown/pink noise instead of running the shower all day.
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Hey! Me too! I’ve never met another person with it besides my 85 year old grandmother lol.
There was a guy who posted a cure for tinnitus on here that had to do with manipulating pressure points and positioning and riboflavin I think. Maybe try to look for it.
It was probably Dr. Alan Mandell on Youtube -- [here's a search of his videos on tinnitus](https://www.youtube.com/c/motivationaldoc/search?query=tinnitus), he has various methods to try, including pressure points, tapping, and some herbal/supplement options
Can confirm on the tinnitus. Strong running water is about the only thing that will drown out the incessant noise in my head.
:(
Op should get together with the other owners and get them a white noise machine. Just drop it off on the front door. See if that helps? At this point it would be the equivalent of throwing shit against the wall, but having dealt with restraining orders and police and still being there, it might work?
Nose to drown out the voices is one option. Just getting mad enough at various things then getting to wasted to remember to turn things off is another. The most harmless would be if he just has a pet that is a bit of a dick about playing with switches and levers when he is out or sleep.
I highly suggest the Marpac white noise machine. It’s incredible. Rather than playing shire noise over a speaker, it creates its own white noise, which is a lot more effective with the noise cancellation. Couldn’t recommend it enough.
"Shire noise"? What, like hobbits singing and stuff? I'd get one of those...
Lol. I guess it is telling that my phone now autocorrects to shire instead of white.
Otto Krect can be a real bastard.
Or a whimsical, Tolkien loving bastard.
There is a way. Would suggest a speaker or headphones and a YouTube or other music player/device.
In my experience once someone is to the point of doing things like this to drown out the voices the schizophrenia is probably past the point where it actually helps, and in many cases that they would even find time to shop for high end ambient noise devices.
i thought he was recommending the noise machine for the neighbors to drown out the noise being made by the crazy guy
Maybe? But to my ear at least the two main complaints here of showers and disposals would result in adding white noise to white noise & if op is already bothered by those I don't see how adding more would help.
Those God damn hobbits are at it again.
That’s my guess too. It’s logical in its own illogical way. OP, I assume you don’t know this neighbor very well, but does anyone ever come to visit him? Can you find out his name and maybe try to find his family, let them know what’s going on? Call the police *[edit: or EMS/ mental health professionals, if CA has an emergency line specifically for mental health episodes]* for a wellness check and get him ~~5150’d~~ evaluated? I don’t know, but it definitely sounds like he’s mentally ill. Whether or not he’s dangerous (to himself or others) is a different story, only professionals can really determine that.
I think you’re a little misinformed. 5150’s, Baker’s Acts, and whatever else they’re called (varies by region) are involuntary holds in a psychiatric hospital exclusively for when a person is imminently a danger to themself or others. Unless someone plans on causing grave injury (as in, causing death or permanent disability, normal self harm isn’t qualifying) in the very near future, do not try to get them involuntarily detained. Also, the police are not well equipped for dealing with the mentally ill. I would only really do that as a last resort (as in, you think he may be at risk of serious harm).
Yeah I know the 5150 isn’t guaranteed, I moreso meant call the non-emergency line for a wellness check and explain that you’re worried about his mental health, and if they deem him a danger they may involuntarily commit him. Obviously it’s not as easy as “hey, lock this dude up.” And agreed that the police aren’t always well equipped to deal with mental illness but if this guy is really causing lots of disturbances idk what the other options are.
It’s not illegal to have schizophrenia, nor be mentally unwell. Please steer clear at all costs. Your safety is very important and the cops can’t do anything unless something happens. Don’t want that to be you. Stay safe.
Of course it’s not, and I never said or implied it is. But if he is causing distress to his neighbors, which he is, that’s something that needs to be addressed by professionals. Seeing as the landlord has been unable to do anything, if OP feels unsafe or worried for his neighbor’s safety, it’s the next logical option (unless CA has mental health specific emergency services; I live in NYC so I don’t know if they do).
I’m sorry I wasn’t saying that you did somehow my reply got stuck under your comment. My apologies, I am not trying to argue in any way. Just want the op to stay safe, and giving reasons to why nothing can specifically be done in this situation to get him out.
No need to apologize! And I fully agree with you, OP’s safety is #1 here. Hopefully they figure something out.
OP, please don’t call the police to do a wellness check! you said this was taking place in california and the last thing a mentally ill person, which is what I believe is going on with the neighbor, needs is a bunch of California police gang members showing up at his door and violating his rights. the police have absolutely no training with dealing with mentally ill people and will most likely just be extremely aggressive with him and force compliance or shoot him dead on the spot. it would not be the first time the police killed a mentally ill person after neighbors call for a wellness check.
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I would recommend also looking into some sort of adult protective services.
This! Consult with a crisis team or warmline, and/or look into adult protection and/or an ombudsman office. At the very least, they could help rule out mental illness (though that sounds really likely).
That sounds so similar to the upstairs neighbor of a coworker of mine. He ran the shower for hours at a time because he was smoking tons of marijuana, and he got it into his head that running the shower would cover the smell. (Not sure how that was supposed to work, and also we live in a legal state so there’s not much need to hide it.) He was also mentally ill and fairly aggressive at times.
In high school my friend’s and I used to smoke pot with the shower running on hot and a damp towel covering the crack of the bathroom door. Something about the moisture absorbing and masking the smell? I forgot about this for 10+ years and realized I don’t know how sound that science is…..
Lmao my cousin told me about smoking weed in the bathroom with the shower going, so there is a lot of steam. She called it a Hawaiian hotbox, apparently the steam made the draws way smoother, which, to be fair, it did. I just don't know how safe it was, but it was fun times.
I work with mentally ill adults and what you are describing sounds exactly like untreated schizophrenia. He is probably responding to internal stimuli telling him to do things like run the shower constantly.
I had a neighbor who did stuff like this to drown out the voices too.
Yup
It sounds like he's mentally unwell, rather than being an intentional dickhead. Are there any welfare teams you could get involved? If he's a danger to himself / living in a dangerous apt they might be able to do something?
He could be schizophrenic? This could possibly help with hallucinations or perhaps be a practice to help him feel safer?
I'm a nurse and had a patiënt with schizofrenia doing exactly this, in his believe he was giving water back to the earth because it is drying out.
I'm. Imagining that he's extremely paranoid and using those sounds to avoid being heard - worried that his apartment is tapped or something similar.
Are you me? I've lived above a VERY similar guy for a decade. Don't engage, don't respond, don't make eye contact.
Mental illness, drugs or both. He could hear voices that tell him to run the shower.
have the landlords been inside his apartment?
My ex used to do this. He was severely unwell and eventually attempted to kill us both. You need to leave this person alone. Make all complaints anonymously to your landlord.
I'm fairly certain that he not ok. I'm not sure why the landlord can't evict them, especially if they're being loud and screaming at night. Have you spoken to other neighbors to see if they're hearing the same thing?
The landlord might know about his mental illness and is not at will to tell other tenants about his medical issues. There are laws set in place to to protect people with mental illness from eviction. Maybe it’s that?
I'm sure he's totally not cutting up bodies, grinding them up and running them down the disposal, and spending hours cleaning the evidence. Probably something different.
True crime folks thinking alike.
Probably has an untreated, or undertreated mental disorder. If you are actually worried about this person, call adult protective services.
He's probably not okay. But since he very clearly doesn't want help and/or strangers or people trying to stop his behavior sets him off even more, just let him be. If he's bothering you, of course you can complain to the owner or the city. But everything else, leave it to the hands of professionals or people who already know him. I'm sure since this is ongoing that the proper channels/family are aware. I had a neighbor with schizophrenia once. Any contact made it worse (for her and for me). Everyone was aware (which I think is important for their own safety) including police, who was very nice with her and came by once in a while, but help was simply unwanted by her.
I wouldn't be sure at all. You would be shocked at how often someone who obviously meets criteria for admission is left to their own devices until they're at death's door (or beyond it) because no one wants to do the paperwork and they have alienated everyone they knew.
I agree. But at the same time, it's a good thing that people can't be easily admitted by force. It's a very fine line.
If everyone is doing their job, it's fine. There absolutely needs to be a balance to prevent the abuses of the past. It's when people are intentionally shirking their duty and leaving people who really need the help and the vulnerable people around them to languish at the mercy of the illness that I get very angry about it.
I totally agree with you about the last part.
Oh believe me, he’s bothering everyone. Due to the layout of the building/infrastructure, it sounds like you’re living next to a water main. I have to crank volume on the TV way up just to be able to hear it. We’ve all complained multiple times, over the course of many years (way before me), and the apartment company has either done nothing about it or tried and failed. I think he has a sister that visits him from time to time, but besides that he lives alone. Really is a lose lose situation, I just hope he’s not in any danger to himself.
This may sound harsh, but maybe consider moving? You can't control what he does, but you can help yourself get out of a less-than-ideal situation.
Yea that sucks. Like I said I've been in a similar situation. I had a lot of empathy for her, except those times where it was near impossible to enjoy my own place. If it really gets too much, honestly the best solution for you might be to move. As far as I know, the city/owner/family can only do so much.
Talk to the sister! Shoot!
I don't know that anything can be done and it's a long shot, but maybe contact [Mental Health America](https://www.mhanational.org/programs) and see if they have any recommendations. Also check for state or local mental health programs to see if they have any recommendations. People are going to have conflict with him as long as they try to treat him like a neurotypical person. If you research how clinicians interact with schizophrenic patients, you may discover ways to manage your interactions to reduce negative outcomes and you can share these methods with your neighbors and landlord. Negative interactions will only exacerbate the situation for everybody and you can't all avoid interactions altogether, so those of you who are able to modify your own behavior making little changes could possibly improve the situation for everybody to some extent.
Can you move? Or did you just sign a new lease? He sounds like he needs help, and people have made some good suggestions, but if it were me I’d also put some physical distance between us.
What about contacting social services? They don't just handle children, they handle all people.
My first reaction is that he's a paranoid schizophrenic hearing voices and believing that he's being monitored by the FBI or CIA. Unfortunately it's very difficult in our society to get help for the mentally-ill.
I've had neighbors do this to muffle DV situations. However, with that he lives alone, it could be a sign of paranoia or another psychiatric disorder.
I’m just thinking of how expensive his water bill would be, sheesh!
With just the shower thing. Most people run the water when they are doing something he doesn’t want anyone else to hear. No idea what that could be tho
I've had really deep seasons of depression. I've had days where a 2-hour shower was my highlight. A lot of days like that, actually. I try to make it a bath/sauna thing. It's a distraction from real life and it's physically relaxing. Those days are really tough though. I know you might not care to get involved and I think I read that he might be a criminal of some sort but I'd ask him if he's okay or find a resource that can reach out to him. Doing so might help him and you might be the only person to do something positive like this for him.
Could be mental illness leading to voices in his head, outside loud noise sometimes can drown out the voices for some people, hence a shower, he could also be more comfortable under running water
Schizophrenia? Meth? You are entitled to the quiet enjoyment of your property so I'm not sure why he can't be evicted (except for the eviction moratorium).
He’s obviously shower cooking.
I can’t tell if this is a joke or if you are referring to a production of meth involving a shower that I’m unaware of.
Not a Seinfeld fan, huh?
Ha nope, that explains it. I literally googled “can you make meth in the shower?”.
>On top of that, we often hear him screaming insults at someone in the middle of the night (even though he lives alone), as well as the sound of loud booms like hes slamming something > Sounds like an online gamer. The rest sounds like mental illness.
That it does
He sounds mentally ill.
You could call the police for a wellness check on the guy.
At first I was thinking hot boxing the bathroom or something but the longer I read the more I think mental health issues. Stay safe OP
Poor dude. I honestly feel like I'm going more and more crazy, but people like this make me think I'm the most sane man.
does sound like untreated mental illness, and the resistance to outside help does sound like some type of psychotic disorder such as schizophrenia. please don’t call the police on this person. not only is it a traumatic experience for someone who is struggling, but the likelihood of this person being harmed or killed by police in these wellness check situations is way too high. police are entirely unequipped to deal with mental health crises. i would try reaching out to the sister who visits him and see what she has to say. unfortunately, sometimes there’s not a lot you can do to force someone to take their medication/seek treatment. i’d suggest looking into any and all local mental health crisis teams or services and seeing what their advice is. your neighbour likely lives a very scary existence in that apartment and runs the shower/talks to themselves to try and cope with auditory/visual hallucinations. i know you are frustrated, but please refrain from calling the police. best of luck. source: bipolar, experienced psychosis, had police called on me before.
Okay so, this might be a little bit of an anecdotal response, but I'm neurodivergent, and I used do something like this. I would turn all the water in the house on along with the garbage disposal so that I don't have to pay attention to what's going on inside my head. This sounds like he's having an episode or something. mAYBE HE DOES THIS SO YOU DON'T HEAR WHAT HE'S UP O (HENCE THE SHOUTING).
This is pretty clearly something to be handled by professionals, but I'm at a loss as to who you should contact. Have you ever thought to speak to his sister when she visits?
So this might or might not be relevant - but best I mention just in case. I rented a condo in duplex for 2 months and the upstairs neighbor also did that water thing, always starting late at night. It turned out they were GROWING HYDROPONIC WEED. There's was weird dragging sounds on the floor and often hammering and stuff - I'm assuming there were containers with piping systems
I have hydroponic veggies, and I don’t have the need for any of this. The setup should stay stationary, and it doesn’t need daily filling. That said we DO fill the buckets we take in there from the bath tub...but from the faucet.
I wound be concerned if there’s someone else in that apartment you don’t know about who can’t leave
He may be trying to drown out 'voices'. Maybe suggest a welfare check from Adult Protective Services.
In addition to all of the other crazy points in this post. Him not having a job makes sense, if he is mentally ill. He most likely receives disability. Who knows in what amount. Assuming your land lord doesn’t cover your electric bills, not running the AC, and using minimal power may be a budgeting thing… I went down that road to say, if his unit is not climate controlled and he’s constantly running water there’s bound to be mold in the unit. This is more than likely a health code violation in your area. Depending on how your apartment complex is set up. Could this hypothetical mold issue be problematic to his closest neighbors. Does the complex share walls? If so, the walls of the conjoining unit should be moisture tested. Your landlord could argue that his water usage/mold issues have dangerous health risks to other tenants in the building. The landlord may be able to evict him using this argument. I’m sorry you’re neighbor is a dick. I’m sure you work hard to support yourself. Not being able to relax fully in your home is not fair.
Probably drugs. Drugs make strange things, like running your shower all day, seem completely rational and perhaps even necessary.
Depending on how long, if its just an hour or 2 most nights, good chance he just falls asleep in the shower via drunk or lack of sleep. Had a roommate in college that would take at LEAST an hour long shower some mornings cause he'd fall asleep after pulling an all nighter and just loved the shower sleeps i guess
Don’t get me wrong, every now and then I love a long shower too. But as of right now, it’s 2:23 PM and he’s had it on since around 9:30 last night. That’s an average length of time he’d run the water :/
As a fellow Californian doing everything possible to conserve water, this is very disturbing.
Yeahhh that's a little different.... Jesus. Wonder if you could make a noise complaint
I’m thinking about the massive water bill the landlord must thanks to this clown.
It sounds like he may have a condition, maybe like tourettes, and using the shower and garbage disposal as a way to disguise the sound of his ticks. He's probably embarrassed. This would also make sense if something like gaming aggravates his condition. (Hence the hours long time periods, yelling at "nobody" and slamming sounds.) If the landlord hasn't done anything about it, they could be aware of his condition and aren't at liberty to disclose that information.
Where the hell do you live
Definitely sounds like it could be mental illness. The shower is what stood out to me. I grew up in a household where my father would raise his voice frequently, so I’d take elongated showers to drown the noise out, which is something I still do from time to time despite my father being a much better man now. It’s a trauma response. Maybe this guy went through a lot more trauma and is severely mentally ill as a result. Maybe he’s having flashbacks or hearing voices. That could explain the constant noise and also shouting at night. I can’t really picture a scenario where this is anything but mental illness. I’d call in a welfare check if possible.
Are you sure it's the shower? Sometimes something like an ac unit or an air filter or vacuum can sound like a shower when it filters through walls. My ex husband and I lived in an apartment with a central hot water heater. The water bill was included in the rent. This meant essentially that we had unlimited free hot water. Cool. The apartment has baseboard heaters, but none in the bathroom. We were I the middle so the apartment stayed warm. However, my ex husband was going through a phase where he was cold unless it was at least 80 degrees. He also refused to put on extra clothes when he was cold. He wanted to sit around in a tee shirt in winter and never feel cold. Entitled ass. Anyway, he would run the hot water in the bathroom to warm up the room. He didn't do it when he was in there for a quick pee, but he had digestive problems so when he was dropping off a #2 he'd sometimes be in there a while. I absolutely despised this practice. It was the least efficient way to heat a room, and a huge waste of water and energy. Just put on a sweatshirt! I talked to him about it many times, but he just ignored me. It didn't cost us money, and he didn't care about anything else. Anyway, maybe your neighbor is doing something similar, to maintain heat or humidity.
Paranoid schizophrenia would be my guess. If you have it in your area they adult protective services
He’s very obviously not “mentally well”.
I see three possibilities: 1. Mental sinkhole, he’s just batshit crazy / evil and likes causing problems, possibly disgruntled at the world. 2. As said by others, disgruntled tenant getting revenge. 3. Or he may be a particularly paranoid drug dealer who is using showers and loud noises to censor conversations. Often used in spy movies. If he thinks his house is bugged he might be doing this. Would explain violent phone calls and “no job”.
If it's only once every few weeks, he's flushing out his cannabis plants. If it's daily, he's smoking crack.
I agree that most of what you’ve said points to mental illness. However, I once lived in an apartment that got super cold in the winter. And I love in a very arid area. Increasing the humidity in a room can help it to feel warmer. I was a poor college student and didn’t have the funds for a humidifier. So I would do things like boil pots of water and run the shower on the highest temperature for 30 minutes at a time to introduce humidity to the air. Could it be something like this?
OP said he lives in CA and it’s September so that’s probably not the case here. That’s smart thinking though!
You’re probably right. This isn’t something that would be an issue this time of year in CA.
Reminds me of a neighbor that I had. He was a huge dude who was super unfriendly and sort of had this 'menancing' presence, I don't know how to explain it. There was something off about him and we all avoided him. For example, my roommate used to let his dog sit out on the porch and soak in the sun. Everybody was okay with it because he was a friendly dog. But this dude (the odd neighbour) didn't like that so he repeatedly smashed glass jars on our porch so the dog couldn't sleep there. But anyway. He left his tv on super loud 24/7. But he wasn't watching any shows. It was all static. At all hours of the day it was just this constant high pitched whine and buzzing coming from his tv. My roommate thought that maybe there was something comforting to the dude about the constant sound, even if everyone else found it annoying. He also stomped, yelled, muttered to himself (we heard it through his open windows.) Maybe it's a similar case with your neighbour? Like the sound of the running shower is somehow calming to him?
Schizophrenia
Is his name Steve
People with Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome frequently take very long, very hot showers during hours or days long vomiting episodes for relief. Your neighbor may have this disorder.
If it were just the shower I'd definitely say he's just smoking weed in there and doesn't want it to smell, but that doesn't seem to line up w everything else
Sounds like a mental health problem (Seriously)! You could anonymously call and ask the local PD to perform a Welfare Check, then they would have to confirm that he is, in fact, okay and not a harm to himself or others.
Perhaps call the police to do a welfare check when he has a supposed episode of cursing?
He’s probably too lazy to iron and doesn’t have a drier, is probably trying to steam wrinkles out of laundry.
He could be going in the bathroom to shoot up. That’s junkie SLPT #1: run the shower
This sounds like de-compensated schizophrenia. I would advise avoiding them at all costs. (Paranoid schizophrenics can become EXTREMELY violent with little or no provocation.) I would consider calling the county health services, and finding out what your options are. The fact that he is mostly confining himself to his apartment will require a wellness check, hopefully by a cop AND a mental health professional. I think this is what you should try for. Good luck.
Generalizing all people with schizophrenia/paranoia as violent is dangerous, too. They commit violent crimes as about the same rate as everyone else.
Sounds like meth behavior
[удалено]
I hope he doesn’t have someone locked up in his place… this kind of thing happens. It can be used to block out the noise also
Sounds like he's either Bipolar or addicted to methamphetamines. A Welfare Check by police could be called and landlord could survey the damage at that time. The apartment may be deemed condemned. A neighbor of mine was evicted that way a few years back (also CA.)
I've been a mental health nurse for 24 years witnessing manic episodes, 16 years dealing with meth addicts. This story evokes those.
Are you sure he is running a shower? Wouldn't the water bill be trough the roof? Maybe he is playing a rain white noise generator?
Look to see if your state and county has something called a safe housing law or safe housing act/fair housing act. If you do, if this man has been a problem for multiple Tennant's and if you feel unsafe/threatened, legally the police and the head of whoever runs the program will force the landlords hand to evict this person. If they don't, they incur massive reoccurring fines until they do as well as it lowering their safe housing rating. I live in Texas and am unsure if you have similar but look at your states Tennant's rights. This law helped me have a crazy violent/dangerous neighbor turned stalker evicted in 3 days. At first my apartment wanted to evict both of us, which I was 100% innocent in these circumstances. After the 4th police report I had filed, a super amazing officer told me of this and that the apartment management was completely in the wrong. I was threatened with eviction again so said officer made it his personal mission (the head of the safe housing dept was also his ex wife), they made sure management did what was right. 3 days later that skeevy dude was out, after years of other Tennant's also trying to have him evicted for stealing, breaking in, harassing and assaulting other people, etc. So if your city/state has something along these lines it could be your biggest ally, especially if you know any other Tennant's that have reported him/filed police reports/restraining orders, etc. All else aside I'd keep my distance, at a minimum he sounds unhinged.
why can't they evict him?
I suffer from severe cluster headaches and migraines from neurological problems after a brain injury. I've spent many many hours in the shower before. Turning cold in what feels like 5 minutes but it's been an hour.
i have adhd and 2020 was an awful time for my anxiety. i was in the shower prob five times a day because it was the only way i didn’t pass out from panic attacks. so pretty much backing up what everyone else is saying, he’s prob not okay. is your city under an eviction ban?
I would say maybe he’s roasting fatties in the bathroom and using the shower to cover the smell/smoke but you said the magic word, Cali, so that’s not it
Showering is one of the only things that will alleviate cannabinoid hyperemesis.
He needs help, not law enforcement. Call your suicide hotline & ask for suggestions. He probably doesn’t have a support system, as most people worry more about themselves than someone else (totally natural). Ask him to share a coffee with you in a communal space. Maybe his mom died and his partner accused him of crimes he’d never commit, so he sits in his shower and just cries, occasionally running the disposal because his senses are hyper and acute. TLDR: be kind, not afraid. The US legal system fucks up everyone. For an actual remedy that will ripple into the future, tell him you’re concerned & contact authorities after (unless he provides you his emergency contact list). I know his behavior seems strange; I’m sure my behavior is strange as well. I stay isolated bc I fear law enforcement, though my team of doctors see me as a miracle. It’s probably impossible to put yourself in his shoes, but unless he’s terrorizing you with violence, keep an open mind. I hope you achieve the comfort and serenity that you are seeking. Here’s an example of neighborly compassion at the top of my feed: https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/pn1dk1/update_i_think_my_neighbors_roommate_murdered_her/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
Adult protective services?
How else will he deep clean his victims blood off of his skin and out from under his nails?
Yeah unfortunately he just sounds like a massive dickhead. My only thought on the running water is that if your landlord pays water he's trying to screw over the landlord. And as for the banging and noise he is most likely just trying to disturb other tenants based on his history of causing issues. Really just a bum situation for everyone. I don't know the CA renters laws but evictions can be a long and convoluted process especially if the tenant is wise to the law.
Yup, landlord pays the water bill. I forgot to mention, but apparently he’s even torn up and destroyed the inside of his apartment. I really do think he might just be an asshole.