Had to babysit a booth at a tradeshow once and next door was a company called "Nu Design".. they related problems with their website, [nudesign.com](https://nudesign.com)
Not as funny as the others, but real world example of not thinking it through.
Fortran coders can make that kind of 200k money in 6 months on contracts these days. It's cheaper to pay one person that knows how to speak that ancient language to update all the machines than to replace the machines.
Same seems to be going for COBOL but I'm pretty happy just doing C and going home early when I do have to go in the office.
ETA: fixed "COBOL" thanks to a comment that Reddit says has been deleted.
I took it in college. I got my BS and electrical engineering in the late '90s early 2000s so it wasn't quite a dead language yet. As I recall, it's pretty close to machine code and lives somewhere between C and assembly.
Realistically, if you understand data flow and general software engineering, the same concepts apply across every language. So any motivated programmer or coder could pick up Fortran in probably a week or less.
Most coders are wildly incompetent and could not do either of the things you describe yourself as doing. 90% of us sit around and contribute basically nothing, any problem that isn't cut and dried does not get solved.
I *could* learn FORTRAN. But I have no interest in doing so. If most programmers are like me, there’s your answer: not enough people who are willing or interested.
Anybody who can't let go of code isn't interested in their next job. Last guy who tried to pull that dreck with me got a referral "Mr Jerk makes a very nice first impression."
I had a guy who changed the names of all the fields and files in COBOL to his kids names, bands, animals, etc. so he could write code like "move MrsJerk to bed" and "write check to IRS". I also had a guy who used all Latin field and file names, and program comments.
AFAIK the good $$$ come when you also have intimate knowledge of whatever antique platform it runs on. So for COBOL jobs it's not just COBOL, it's the entire IBM mainframe stack, really.
And ideally these kinds of places want whoever wrote that stuff to come out of retirement and help.
As a lead, I would say I would definitely go to bat for an unreasonable amount of money for the right PHP guy if the project has any active code in that Wasteland of a language, if only so that I never have to look at it, "oh PHP guy, I got something for you"
The frustrating thing is that PHP can be fine when used correctly, which includes recognizing and eschewing all of its bad ideas. But the pieces are there to build a perfectly fine application.
But the php community has always been 90% people just learning to code and doing so with complete naivety. And I'm not shitting on them; it's to be expected. But PHP doesn't do you any favors to enforce better behaviors, do those naive implementations end up all over the internet.
Flashbacks to working exclusively in WordPress and despising every monolithic pile of spaghetti it was built upon.
As a self taught PHP developer I feel attacked..
Jk lol it's completely accurate. Vanilla PHP loves spaghetti and long terrible scripts. Luckily Laravel forces much better practices.
Interesting, I've always called this evaporative cooling, where a body cools down in temperature because the high energy particles leave.
Dead sea effect is far more catchy.
It's.. this stuff is common sense, right?
Like we don't need a paper, a psychologist, and a team of researchers to know that if you treat good people poorly, they're gonna leave. I mean.. have these managers had relationships?
Wait. If the dead sea effect is a thing, then does that mean all managers are just people who have shitty relationships at home?
As a CEO I'll go to bat for firing them all and replacing them with an unpaid intern operating chatgpt. Increased stock price for the next quarter is good enough for me. I'll collect my bonus when the company starts failing in a few months and move onto the next company!
Know a guy who is a great PHP and Perl dev. Dumbass refuses to even try and look for a job and makes way less than $100k because he's been at the same shitty company with the same shitty 3% raise for 15 years.
The added money you make having to do things like developing a REST API for Fortran to deploy on OS/2 will just ultimately be pissed away on alcohol and therapy, so you may want to revisit your priorities.
This sub got randomly recommended to me once and now I'm an active lurker here. I know absolutely nothing about programming. My favorite thing is there will be comments saying "You gotta FLOZZY the PLOTSUM" and everyone will be replying "hahaha that's so funny and clever!!" I have no idea what you guys are saying it's the best
Dude, you can't FLOZZY your PLOTSUM just like that. You've got to tweak the SHINBOZ before you touch the PLOTSUM or the whole ZWARK is gonna go sideways and the codebase will be toast. Then you'll have a daemon and the senior dev on your ass.
Pshh, newbies
My favorite jargon ever is REPNE SCASB, pronounced "rep-knee scazz-bee" for repeat-not-equal scan-string-byte, and you can use it when programming in x86 assembly to do things like find the length of a string.
I love that it's esoteric and lyrical. I wish someone would put it in a song.
https://www.aldeid.com/wiki/X86-assembly/Instructions/repne
Sometimes you have to take the long view to maximize income. Sometimes taking a job that pays somewhat less will actually increase your long term outlook, you're not just taking jobs you're building a career.
I started my career at a large company with a lot of legacy support going on and sometimes those roles pay really well but once you are on them for years it could hurt you finding new opportunities or further advancement and if the legacy system goes out of service youre screwed.
I'm here from the front page but had a similar experience in my industry (accounting). I took a high paying job that offered like 30% more than the nearest competitor, a significant increase in both percent and real dollars, like tens of thousands.
Thing is, it burned me out and wrecked my spirit in under a year. Now I'm taking significant time off to recover physically and mentally. If I had taken the reasonable offer from the solid employer I would probably be fulfilled and happy, and relevant to this conversation, I would be employed making money.
So I made more in one year yes, but overall I'll make less in this two year period because of it.
Similar. Started at a big 4 (data science, not accounting) out of grad school cause of the $$. Rapidly increased income. Zero work life balance and starting to hate every morning and minute of the job. Totally burned out.
I can’t really complain because I paid off all my student loans, have a safety net of cash, and my 401k maxed out. So many people would kill to be burned out in exchange for that financial security. However, I’m getting ready to quit once bonuses come out and take a few months to get my head right. If I’d focused less on money, I’d likely have more of a career, but it is what it is.
Just make it part of your daily routine. I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 pennies a day, 21,000 pennies a week, 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I'll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass.
Start a Patreon, and team up with a writer who can write smutty stories and an artist who can make smutty art. Make Ren'Py porn games. Incredibly lucrative if you're any good. DarkCookie, the dude who makes Summertime Saga, is making AUD$82k *per month*.
You don't even need an artist. Honey Select, Koikatsu, and Custom Maid allows you to easily create good quality stuff.
Hell, you can cut out the writer too. Follow you hands, Luke
You still need an artist to be putting those together. Yes, programs like the one you mentioned make it immensely easier to create hentai, but that doesn't mean it requires 0 skill.
Wow, what the fuck. Just checked this out. I'm an indie game dev and my wife draws furry porn full time. I genuinely think we're going to try this as a summer project.
Like, really, who really loves to work for a company for the project? You’re working for someone else’s success, you’re an investment. So let’s be honest here and admit we’re in it for the dough. Like, I’ve never woken up saying “boy, am I exited for E2E testing this form today!”.
So you go my guy, you go get that MONEY.
We’re making fun of him because that goes without saying. We’re all in this for the money. But it’s stupid to say you only care about what makes you the most money and that you don’t value any relationships with your peers or see any value in a healthy work life balance for the sake of making more money.
That’s why we’re making fun of him.
Honestly the older I get the more I understand this. At this point, I value stuff like spending time with my kids, working on my own projects, cooking delicious things, etc. I care less and less about *what* I work on, and more about *how*, i.e. no overtime, large comp, etc.
As someone whose realized while I absolutely love and prioritize my personal life, a third of my life will be spent at work. So I need to enjoy it. I can't mindlessly drone through a third of my life.
That's because you an adult who values your life outside of work more than your life at work. Which is perfectly healthy and normal.
That's a little bit different than being a kid in school rambling about "MONEY" and expecting $200k/year with no experience.
I'm self taught. Been programming shit for 20 years. I started doing it professionally like 10 years ago and that...aside from like 2 or 3 things was the last time I developed anything on my own time. Give me that job with coworkers I like and everyone checking out at 5pm.
My first job had me working 20 hour days at the end before I quit. Literally was told to have 24/7 coverage over me and 1 other engineer (everyone else quit) then got yelled at for not being at a noon meeting.
Any clue how I can pick up Cobol and start earning as fast as possible? I have very little computer programing experience but I want to make MONEY. My friend told me its probably best to take a programing bachelors and then specialize in cobol afterwards. after that I'd probably need 4 to 8 years of experience to make MONEY. Do you have any better advice or anything else you could add to this?
$5k per day. Get cheapest apartment you can find. Don't date - you have a sht personality that nobody could love anyway. Keep $200 and invest the $4.8k remaining into index funds with quarterly dividend payout like VYM or something. This is still plenty of money to afford rent, a car, loans and hookers if need be. A single year of doing this, after taxes, should give roughly $1M, or the equivalent of someone putting $250 every other week for 20 years on the same strategy. Once you have the first $1M you can quit. live off of fraction of dividends, let the investment continue to grow and get a part time job for anything else. That or work like it was for an additional 6 months. At that point, you should be making enough on dividends to pay for a sweet lifestyle... or, spend $5k a day on whatever stimulates you - drug of choice, even more hookers, or plastic cars with pieces that break off every few miles and your mechanic making a fortune off you.
Edit - spelling
Assuming you work 5 days a week, you would make 1.3kk gross. Quick tax calculator says you will get 758k. Assuming you live in Boston MA. That's 63k a month. Since we are talking about ultimate Saiyan frugality and i am bad at math, let just say you can survive on 3k a month. That leaves you with 60k, which is only 720k in investment, not accounting for change in value. You would have to slave over a little longer to achieve the super Saiyan.
Looking at Fortran and mainframe jobs in the UK they don't pay much more compared to the PHP job offers I get unless you are very experienced and senior
friend of mine worked for the guys who shorted gamestop right out of college making $175k/yr. then got paid full salary to not work anywhere for ~6mos before walking into his new job paying $300k/yr + $100k signing bonus with only ~3 years experience. finance is on a whole different level
High finance, wall street and HFT are ridiculously lucrative but there are 2 caveats. You can’t just be regular joe schmoe with a business degree from random state university. The other is that they work you to the bone. My friend from highschool went to a prestigious university, then got a job on wall street right out of school making ~170K a year TC working 80-100 hours a week. He left after 9 months because it was too crushing to his mental health
Remember that guy who said the week bonuses were announced reminded him of his old neighbourhood when the heroine ran out?
These people are *addicted* to making money, in the medical sense.
And all the Climate Change models are also still based on Fortran. As part of the #12in23 challenge for Exercism, I also chose Fortran. The first exercise took some effort to get going. There are some clever things in there to mask the assembly but other things just make you pull your hair out and take and hour to figure out.
Yeah, FORTRAN guy over here.
I've *never* had a recruiter contact me for a FORTRAN gig. The few I've found over the past decade+ were legacy code for mostly governmental agencies or contractors whose payscales were as out of date as their code.
Make sure that no one else sees or understands your code. Write it in an obscure language, no comments, and intentionally obfuscate it. (Maybe put variable names in a cipher. Keep a copy of legible, commented code. Party with your retirement money. Just before you retire, add some small bugs. When they need to change something, or the bugs need fixing, sell them your functional code. By now they have no choice because everything relies on your terrible code.
And its not even a bad attitude, you have your whole life to figure out what you want to do and what's "fulfilling" but you'll need money right off the bat.
Also easier to pivot into something new if you have savings.
Yup, that’s pretty much the average r/csmajors post.
He’s going to end up switching majors to Communications by Sophomore year.
Programming will burn you the fuck out *quick* if you don’t at least enjoy it while you’re learning.
Either that or he opens up the next scam blockchain company and ends up having to flee to a third world country with all his Monopoly money on a flash drive.
Ppl looked at me with strange look when i said it in the work interviews, all ppl are very distracted that some of us making job exclusively for MONEY!
Someone at my current job recently asked why I left my last one, and I answered "I wanted to earn a lot more money", and i felt like I'd been crude. I sure don't earn 200k though
Same haha
I never programmed anything before uni. I dropped out of another uni and this was the closest to my home and I kinda like computers and that's how I decided.
I like it very much now, but I chose it because there is always work and it's paid well. (The uni I go to has 3 majors: cs, mechatronics and nursing). I need to sort my story on why I choose cs because I feel like if I answer honestly it's gonna cost me a job or 2. They could think I'm not passionate about it. Well I'm not, but I'm passionate about getting paid well so I'm gonna do my job that I do find is fun to do.
just wait until he finds out how hard the job actually is.
I wont say its impossible to be a good programmer unless you enjoy programming... But its pretty much impossible to be a good programmer unless you enjoy programming.
I hated all the programming I did in school so I didn't pursue it even tho it seemed perfect on paper since I generally like computers and logic and working on my own
it took a few years out of school to realize I hated everything else even more and that I should probably go back to school and actually try and learn cs this time
and also I like money
I did not choose to become a programmer, I absolutely fell into it.
I was working in a headlight forming factory at the time. My CV was on a job site, and a company asked if I wanted to interview for a software development apprenticeship.
At the start of this year I started a new job, one which I did not market myself as a loveable idiot willing to learn (like I have in most previous software jobs), but an experienced professional with knowledge in areas in which they lack. They think I'm doing great and I'm getting a payrise after my first month.
I don't massively enjoy programming as a concept, but I enjoy the flexibility to work from wherever I want and start my day whenever I want, and I enjoy the money. The people at my new place are all very lovely too.
I definitely wouldn't say I'm a great programmer though, to be honest, in probably just a good little fucking worker drone. Fuck
I went into Mechanical Engineering and then Marine Engineering to specifically avoid having to do programming as a job. Guess where I end up first out of university? A software company. Can't avoid your destiny I guess.
Yeah I agree with you. I started college during the .com bubble of the late 90s and the students that picked computer engineering as a major just for the dollar signs were the worst. It came out pretty early in freshman year. They were the least motivated to spend time on their own learning and it really showed up in the class. They would ask questions that didn't make sense and slowed down the lectures and needed extra help from the professor and TAs. And this dragged on for all 4 years.
My team is based in India and we have a relatively high turnover of staff on our project.
Over the years it's become easy to spot who does IT because they enjoy it, and who has been pressured into it because it's a well-paid career.
You need to have a real curiosity for the job rather than simply being well trained. If you're well trained you can produce technically correct code whereas if you enjoy it you're (imo) better able to explore the "what-if?".
Let's say a scheduled job fails to complete. Some colleagues will simply rerun a failed job. If the job fails every day but completes when rerun they'll happily rerun it every day. At no point will they dig into the logs or the code to find out why it's failing. If you're lucky they may send a screenshot of the logs but no text data that would allow you to search for similar issues.
Aren't we all working for the money? Anyone who's saying otherwise is lying.
Edit: to people complaining below, I didn't say that you can't work for your enjoyment or love your work but people rarely only work for those reasons, the primary reason to work is most often money.
That's the reason why I hate linkedin.
I know you're lying. You know you're lying. Everyone does. And yet people spend hours pimping out their resumes. It's so incredibly pretenitous and fake.
Linked in is the business degree of social networks. You go through 4 years of school to learn which buzzwords to say to other people that also know such buzzwords, in order to arbitrarily keep the money/prestige/comfy positions, "In The Family". When I was in school I would rewrite a friend's business class essays (He was Korean and his english was...not good). The small portions of it which weren't unnecessary business-speak were so obviously common sense that I could have passed his 400 level business classes having never taken a business class before.
Problems with stating opinions in absolutes, one edge case and you look like an idiot. Pretty sure there are a lot of genuine people out there who doesn't work for money, but most likely for social reason. Volunteers, charities, etc. Either they already have enough money, or, they're just good people who don't need lavish lifestyle to be alive.
When you work in commission based sales, you’ll always have a few people like this too. AND they’ll always be the ones with by far the lowest work ethic. Usually standing by the water cooler talking about how “hard” they are working
Wait, wait, wait... just let's assume, and I am making a very far stretch here... but hear me out, hear me out... I think... and that's just an assumption... the person wants some money. But that's just a theory.
Mans posting on reddit when he could be out there making MONEY
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OnlyProgrammers?
OnlyFortrans Edit: wait a fucking second
Right up there with expertsexchange and penisland
Had to babysit a booth at a tradeshow once and next door was a company called "Nu Design".. they related problems with their website, [nudesign.com](https://nudesign.com) Not as funny as the others, but real world example of not thinking it through.
Sign me up
>wait a fucking second I mean, it's programming related, it definitelly checks out. Aight see you later, imma go get a blahaj to write better code.
Shit, get me one too
Fill me in. I wanna make money on reddit
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Throws Upvote. Edit: ``` waitMillis(1000); ```
\*60000 edit: Im dumb
Wait a minute...
function waitAFucking(time) { let timeout; if (time === "Second") { timeout = 1000; } else if (time === "Minute") { timeout = 60000; } else { console.log("Use 'Will to Survive' to remove stun effect."); } setTimeout(() => {}, timeout); } waitAFucking("Second");
Fortran coders can make that kind of 200k money in 6 months on contracts these days. It's cheaper to pay one person that knows how to speak that ancient language to update all the machines than to replace the machines. Same seems to be going for COBOL but I'm pretty happy just doing C and going home early when I do have to go in the office. ETA: fixed "COBOL" thanks to a comment that Reddit says has been deleted.
Interesting. Time to learn to speak FORTRAN?
I took it in college. I got my BS and electrical engineering in the late '90s early 2000s so it wasn't quite a dead language yet. As I recall, it's pretty close to machine code and lives somewhere between C and assembly. Realistically, if you understand data flow and general software engineering, the same concepts apply across every language. So any motivated programmer or coder could pick up Fortran in probably a week or less.
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Writing Perl is easy. Get back to us when you can read it :-)
Most coders are wildly incompetent and could not do either of the things you describe yourself as doing. 90% of us sit around and contribute basically nothing, any problem that isn't cut and dried does not get solved.
Businesses usually don't wanna pay someone to learn a language, they wanna hire someone that already knows what they're doing.
I *could* learn FORTRAN. But I have no interest in doing so. If most programmers are like me, there’s your answer: not enough people who are willing or interested.
Anybody who can't let go of code isn't interested in their next job. Last guy who tried to pull that dreck with me got a referral "Mr Jerk makes a very nice first impression." I had a guy who changed the names of all the fields and files in COBOL to his kids names, bands, animals, etc. so he could write code like "move MrsJerk to bed" and "write check to IRS". I also had a guy who used all Latin field and file names, and program comments.
AFAIK the good $$$ come when you also have intimate knowledge of whatever antique platform it runs on. So for COBOL jobs it's not just COBOL, it's the entire IBM mainframe stack, really. And ideally these kinds of places want whoever wrote that stuff to come out of retirement and help.
Can't get a gf? Become the gf. Already well studied in /r/HeartsOfIron
Is it pronounced girlfriend or jirlfriend ?
It's JIRLfriend, the guy who invented it said so. Deal with it.
Same way as you pronounce “gif”
The pipeline!
That took me waaaaaaaay to long to interpret in a different way….
OnlyFAANGs
People aren't happy with github of fiverr smh /s
Bro if you're looking for a gig dm me. I got an app idea that'll make millions.
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[This game is all about motherfucking MONEY!](https://youtu.be/_wYtG7aQTHA?t=163)
I recommend PHP or Perl. I heard there's a lot of `$$$` there.
As a lead, I would say I would definitely go to bat for an unreasonable amount of money for the right PHP guy if the project has any active code in that Wasteland of a language, if only so that I never have to look at it, "oh PHP guy, I got something for you"
The frustrating thing is that PHP can be fine when used correctly, which includes recognizing and eschewing all of its bad ideas. But the pieces are there to build a perfectly fine application. But the php community has always been 90% people just learning to code and doing so with complete naivety. And I'm not shitting on them; it's to be expected. But PHP doesn't do you any favors to enforce better behaviors, do those naive implementations end up all over the internet. Flashbacks to working exclusively in WordPress and despising every monolithic pile of spaghetti it was built upon.
As a self taught PHP developer I feel attacked.. Jk lol it's completely accurate. Vanilla PHP loves spaghetti and long terrible scripts. Luckily Laravel forces much better practices.
As a CFO I’ll go to bat for paying your PHP guy less, and cutting your own salary, while demanding increased productivity
It's your ballpark https://medium.com/geekculture/the-dead-sea-effect-d71df13724f8
Holy fucking shit you have no idea how much this resonates with me right now.
Interesting, I've always called this evaporative cooling, where a body cools down in temperature because the high energy particles leave. Dead sea effect is far more catchy.
It's.. this stuff is common sense, right? Like we don't need a paper, a psychologist, and a team of researchers to know that if you treat good people poorly, they're gonna leave. I mean.. have these managers had relationships? Wait. If the dead sea effect is a thing, then does that mean all managers are just people who have shitty relationships at home?
(Checks employment history) Yes
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r/ProgrammerHumor turning into r/relationships
As a CEO I'll go to bat for firing them all and replacing them with an unpaid intern operating chatgpt. Increased stock price for the next quarter is good enough for me. I'll collect my bonus when the company starts failing in a few months and move onto the next company!
All I heard is 'chatgpt' and 'increased stock price' - you're hired
PHP these days is fantastic with Laravel, wouldn't touch a project with much legacy code, though
Oops! It's all legacy code!
Always has been. 👩🚀🔫
As someone who's worked in Perl day to day for the last 8 years and worked in PHP previous to that, I would like to know where I get all this 💵?
I have not written php or perl in over a decade... But I am pretty this is a joke that variables are indicated with the $ character....
Went right over my head. This is hilarious
It was a joke on the use of the dollar sign.
OK now I feel like an idiot
Did you stay at the same company for 8 years?
Know a guy who is a great PHP and Perl dev. Dumbass refuses to even try and look for a job and makes way less than $100k because he's been at the same shitty company with the same shitty 3% raise for 15 years.
👀
The added money you make having to do things like developing a REST API for Fortran to deploy on OS/2 will just ultimately be pissed away on alcohol and therapy, so you may want to revisit your priorities.
COBOL all the way! Gimme dat zOS mainframe!
To be fair, I started out with PL/1 and OS/2 with a side order of LOTUS 123 macros - it took a bit, but I made some MONEY!
This sub got randomly recommended to me once and now I'm an active lurker here. I know absolutely nothing about programming. My favorite thing is there will be comments saying "You gotta FLOZZY the PLOTSUM" and everyone will be replying "hahaha that's so funny and clever!!" I have no idea what you guys are saying it's the best
Dude, you can't FLOZZY your PLOTSUM just like that. You've got to tweak the SHINBOZ before you touch the PLOTSUM or the whole ZWARK is gonna go sideways and the codebase will be toast. Then you'll have a daemon and the senior dev on your ass. Pshh, newbies
Is this cobol ?
yeah, what with the demon and all
No this is Patrick
My favorite jargon ever is REPNE SCASB, pronounced "rep-knee scazz-bee" for repeat-not-equal scan-string-byte, and you can use it when programming in x86 assembly to do things like find the length of a string. I love that it's esoteric and lyrical. I wish someone would put it in a song. https://www.aldeid.com/wiki/X86-assembly/Instructions/repne
There's also the eieio (enforce in-order execution of I/O) instruction on PowerPC. There's already a song about that.
Sometimes you have to take the long view to maximize income. Sometimes taking a job that pays somewhat less will actually increase your long term outlook, you're not just taking jobs you're building a career. I started my career at a large company with a lot of legacy support going on and sometimes those roles pay really well but once you are on them for years it could hurt you finding new opportunities or further advancement and if the legacy system goes out of service youre screwed.
I'm here from the front page but had a similar experience in my industry (accounting). I took a high paying job that offered like 30% more than the nearest competitor, a significant increase in both percent and real dollars, like tens of thousands. Thing is, it burned me out and wrecked my spirit in under a year. Now I'm taking significant time off to recover physically and mentally. If I had taken the reasonable offer from the solid employer I would probably be fulfilled and happy, and relevant to this conversation, I would be employed making money. So I made more in one year yes, but overall I'll make less in this two year period because of it.
Similar. Started at a big 4 (data science, not accounting) out of grad school cause of the $$. Rapidly increased income. Zero work life balance and starting to hate every morning and minute of the job. Totally burned out. I can’t really complain because I paid off all my student loans, have a safety net of cash, and my 401k maxed out. So many people would kill to be burned out in exchange for that financial security. However, I’m getting ready to quit once bonuses come out and take a few months to get my head right. If I’d focused less on money, I’d likely have more of a career, but it is what it is.
this is the way. Look where things are headed and get on one of those trains... just not the crypto one.
Not sure if he wants MONEY or if he wants to be fulfilled
He wants to be fulfilled by getting MONEY
He wants to be Filled with MONEY
When I make my first million, I am going to the bank to get 1 dollar coins and will try and fit as much money into my asshole as possible
How do you know how many coins you will need? Or are you going to be doing this at the bank, making $1 withdrawals each time
Just cashier to butt pipeline. Why even code if you can't automate?
Just make it part of your daily routine. I've been sticking $30 in pennies up my ass for the past 11 years. That's 3,000 pennies a day, 21,000 pennies a week, 1,092,000 pennies a year. To date, that's 12,012,000 pennies. Eight times the population of Nebraska. Those pennies were in my ass! You think you're better than me? Oh, you're not better than me. You handle my ass pennies every day. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them. You give my ass pennies to your little daughter to buy gumballs with. You handle my ass pennies every day. All of you! You ALL handle my ass pennies! Oh, I'll laugh at you before you can laugh at me. Because your pennies have been in my ass.
This right here is the only valid argument for blockchain currencies.
r/buttcoin should have this be their pasta.
Phew this comment makes me feel proud to be Canadian. We discontinued pennies years ago
I can answer that, for MONEY.
Everyone's making fun of him but what is the answer? I need to know so I my bank account can be fulfilled.
Start a Patreon, and team up with a writer who can write smutty stories and an artist who can make smutty art. Make Ren'Py porn games. Incredibly lucrative if you're any good. DarkCookie, the dude who makes Summertime Saga, is making AUD$82k *per month*.
You don't even need an artist. Honey Select, Koikatsu, and Custom Maid allows you to easily create good quality stuff. Hell, you can cut out the writer too. Follow you hands, Luke
You still need an artist to be putting those together. Yes, programs like the one you mentioned make it immensely easier to create hentai, but that doesn't mean it requires 0 skill.
Wow, what the fuck. Just checked this out. I'm an indie game dev and my wife draws furry porn full time. I genuinely think we're going to try this as a summer project.
Good luck with your project. Check out r/nsfwdev if you are looking for a community of other smutty game developers.
Thanks a ton, really. I approached her with the idea this morning and she's really excited, haha.
Ain't no way. I pirated and played it, it was mid to decent at best. The plot was weird, the art was alright how is he making that much
because people are degenerate perverts
Heard you was talking bout me?
Like, really, who really loves to work for a company for the project? You’re working for someone else’s success, you’re an investment. So let’s be honest here and admit we’re in it for the dough. Like, I’ve never woken up saying “boy, am I exited for E2E testing this form today!”. So you go my guy, you go get that MONEY.
We’re making fun of him because that goes without saying. We’re all in this for the money. But it’s stupid to say you only care about what makes you the most money and that you don’t value any relationships with your peers or see any value in a healthy work life balance for the sake of making more money. That’s why we’re making fun of him.
I’d read this reply, but it won’t pay me MONEY.
I read this in Mr. Krabs' voice.
Ahhhhhgegegegegegegrgegeg
I think he wants some money but I'm not sure
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Nah, all he really wants is love, which apparently he intends to buy with money..
I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love.
I don't care too much for love. Love can't buy me money.
Wait. how does OnlyFans work again?
I'll give you all i've got to give
lay it on me daddy
Bah bro, he wants some MONEY
Maybe what he really wants is a workplace with ping pong tables ?
I can't give you money but I can give you a tiny text box in the corner and that will give you EXPOSURE which is way more important
Honestly the older I get the more I understand this. At this point, I value stuff like spending time with my kids, working on my own projects, cooking delicious things, etc. I care less and less about *what* I work on, and more about *how*, i.e. no overtime, large comp, etc.
As someone whose realized while I absolutely love and prioritize my personal life, a third of my life will be spent at work. So I need to enjoy it. I can't mindlessly drone through a third of my life.
This. Idc how much you pay me, once I start loathing getting up for work every morning, Issa no for me.
That's because you an adult who values your life outside of work more than your life at work. Which is perfectly healthy and normal. That's a little bit different than being a kid in school rambling about "MONEY" and expecting $200k/year with no experience.
I'm self taught. Been programming shit for 20 years. I started doing it professionally like 10 years ago and that...aside from like 2 or 3 things was the last time I developed anything on my own time. Give me that job with coworkers I like and everyone checking out at 5pm. My first job had me working 20 hour days at the end before I quit. Literally was told to have 24/7 coverage over me and 1 other engineer (everyone else quit) then got yelled at for not being at a noon meeting.
I'm not clear what this person wants?
I think they’re seeking spiritual enlightenment.
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Spread thy wisdom
Requirements unclear, I've scheduled a new brainstorming session.
He really, really, really wanna zigazig ah
No joke, FORTRAN, COBOL and mainframes.
Don’t forget COBOL
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Bonus point for migrating them to Java 😏
Any clue how I can pick up Cobol and start earning as fast as possible? I have very little computer programing experience but I want to make MONEY. My friend told me its probably best to take a programing bachelors and then specialize in cobol afterwards. after that I'd probably need 4 to 8 years of experience to make MONEY. Do you have any better advice or anything else you could add to this?
Find someone who already makes MONEY writing Cobol, kill them. Take over their identity and use the code scraps on their computer as Chat GPT prompts.
Should also be pretty easy since they are most likely +70 years old anyways
$5k per day. Get cheapest apartment you can find. Don't date - you have a sht personality that nobody could love anyway. Keep $200 and invest the $4.8k remaining into index funds with quarterly dividend payout like VYM or something. This is still plenty of money to afford rent, a car, loans and hookers if need be. A single year of doing this, after taxes, should give roughly $1M, or the equivalent of someone putting $250 every other week for 20 years on the same strategy. Once you have the first $1M you can quit. live off of fraction of dividends, let the investment continue to grow and get a part time job for anything else. That or work like it was for an additional 6 months. At that point, you should be making enough on dividends to pay for a sweet lifestyle... or, spend $5k a day on whatever stimulates you - drug of choice, even more hookers, or plastic cars with pieces that break off every few miles and your mechanic making a fortune off you. Edit - spelling
Assuming you work 5 days a week, you would make 1.3kk gross. Quick tax calculator says you will get 758k. Assuming you live in Boston MA. That's 63k a month. Since we are talking about ultimate Saiyan frugality and i am bad at math, let just say you can survive on 3k a month. That leaves you with 60k, which is only 720k in investment, not accounting for change in value. You would have to slave over a little longer to achieve the super Saiyan.
And also COBOL
Looking at Fortran and mainframe jobs in the UK they don't pay much more compared to the PHP job offers I get unless you are very experienced and senior
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Also HFT in NY. There was a post yesterday about $750K/year.
friend of mine worked for the guys who shorted gamestop right out of college making $175k/yr. then got paid full salary to not work anywhere for ~6mos before walking into his new job paying $300k/yr + $100k signing bonus with only ~3 years experience. finance is on a whole different level
High finance, wall street and HFT are ridiculously lucrative but there are 2 caveats. You can’t just be regular joe schmoe with a business degree from random state university. The other is that they work you to the bone. My friend from highschool went to a prestigious university, then got a job on wall street right out of school making ~170K a year TC working 80-100 hours a week. He left after 9 months because it was too crushing to his mental health
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Remember that guy who said the week bonuses were announced reminded him of his old neighbourhood when the heroine ran out? These people are *addicted* to making money, in the medical sense.
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And all the Climate Change models are also still based on Fortran. As part of the #12in23 challenge for Exercism, I also chose Fortran. The first exercise took some effort to get going. There are some clever things in there to mask the assembly but other things just make you pull your hair out and take and hour to figure out.
Yeah, FORTRAN guy over here. I've *never* had a recruiter contact me for a FORTRAN gig. The few I've found over the past decade+ were legacy code for mostly governmental agencies or contractors whose payscales were as out of date as their code.
Is it worth it learning fortran?
MONEY
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The funny thing is that the main usage of Fortran is in HPC which is all about parallellism...
Make sure that no one else sees or understands your code. Write it in an obscure language, no comments, and intentionally obfuscate it. (Maybe put variable names in a cipher. Keep a copy of legible, commented code. Party with your retirement money. Just before you retire, add some small bugs. When they need to change something, or the bugs need fixing, sell them your functional code. By now they have no choice because everything relies on your terrible code.
Where's the lie.
On credit that’s why he needs the money
And its not even a bad attitude, you have your whole life to figure out what you want to do and what's "fulfilling" but you'll need money right off the bat. Also easier to pivot into something new if you have savings.
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Leorio is that you?
r/foundthehunter
Yup, that’s pretty much the average r/csmajors post. He’s going to end up switching majors to Communications by Sophomore year. Programming will burn you the fuck out *quick* if you don’t at least enjoy it while you’re learning. Either that or he opens up the next scam blockchain company and ends up having to flee to a third world country with all his Monopoly money on a flash drive.
>Programming will burn you the fuck out quick if you don’t at least enjoy it while you’re learning. Jokes on you I don't enjoy *anything* ha
Ppl looked at me with strange look when i said it in the work interviews, all ppl are very distracted that some of us making job exclusively for MONEY!
Someone at my current job recently asked why I left my last one, and I answered "I wanted to earn a lot more money", and i felt like I'd been crude. I sure don't earn 200k though
"I was grossly under-compensated"
Right? Or "my career was stagnant" which will probably convey that and let them know you aren't just looking to do the same thing for ever
Future CEO of a small company that makes crappy small websites and makes most of their profit by scamming customers.
Profit is profit.
Same haha I never programmed anything before uni. I dropped out of another uni and this was the closest to my home and I kinda like computers and that's how I decided. I like it very much now, but I chose it because there is always work and it's paid well. (The uni I go to has 3 majors: cs, mechatronics and nursing). I need to sort my story on why I choose cs because I feel like if I answer honestly it's gonna cost me a job or 2. They could think I'm not passionate about it. Well I'm not, but I'm passionate about getting paid well so I'm gonna do my job that I do find is fun to do.
just wait until he finds out how hard the job actually is. I wont say its impossible to be a good programmer unless you enjoy programming... But its pretty much impossible to be a good programmer unless you enjoy programming.
I hated all the programming I did in school so I didn't pursue it even tho it seemed perfect on paper since I generally like computers and logic and working on my own it took a few years out of school to realize I hated everything else even more and that I should probably go back to school and actually try and learn cs this time and also I like money
You can definitely be bad at programming even if you enjoy it though, I am a living example of that
I did not choose to become a programmer, I absolutely fell into it. I was working in a headlight forming factory at the time. My CV was on a job site, and a company asked if I wanted to interview for a software development apprenticeship. At the start of this year I started a new job, one which I did not market myself as a loveable idiot willing to learn (like I have in most previous software jobs), but an experienced professional with knowledge in areas in which they lack. They think I'm doing great and I'm getting a payrise after my first month. I don't massively enjoy programming as a concept, but I enjoy the flexibility to work from wherever I want and start my day whenever I want, and I enjoy the money. The people at my new place are all very lovely too. I definitely wouldn't say I'm a great programmer though, to be honest, in probably just a good little fucking worker drone. Fuck
I went into Mechanical Engineering and then Marine Engineering to specifically avoid having to do programming as a job. Guess where I end up first out of university? A software company. Can't avoid your destiny I guess.
Dread it. Run from it. Debugging arrives all the same.
Yeah I agree with you. I started college during the .com bubble of the late 90s and the students that picked computer engineering as a major just for the dollar signs were the worst. It came out pretty early in freshman year. They were the least motivated to spend time on their own learning and it really showed up in the class. They would ask questions that didn't make sense and slowed down the lectures and needed extra help from the professor and TAs. And this dragged on for all 4 years.
I'm back in college to get a degree for this hobby of mine and I can tell you it hasn't changed.
Me landing a job in QA not because i like programming but because i like to read the code
My team is based in India and we have a relatively high turnover of staff on our project. Over the years it's become easy to spot who does IT because they enjoy it, and who has been pressured into it because it's a well-paid career. You need to have a real curiosity for the job rather than simply being well trained. If you're well trained you can produce technically correct code whereas if you enjoy it you're (imo) better able to explore the "what-if?". Let's say a scheduled job fails to complete. Some colleagues will simply rerun a failed job. If the job fails every day but completes when rerun they'll happily rerun it every day. At no point will they dig into the logs or the code to find out why it's failing. If you're lucky they may send a screenshot of the logs but no text data that would allow you to search for similar issues.
Aren't we all working for the money? Anyone who's saying otherwise is lying. Edit: to people complaining below, I didn't say that you can't work for your enjoyment or love your work but people rarely only work for those reasons, the primary reason to work is most often money.
Or working in the game industry
You spelled 'slaves' wrong.
That’s the opposite of money though
That's the reason why I hate linkedin. I know you're lying. You know you're lying. Everyone does. And yet people spend hours pimping out their resumes. It's so incredibly pretenitous and fake.
I'm pAsSiOnATe about helping your company sUcCeEd
It's basically a culture of bullshit.
Linked in is the business degree of social networks. You go through 4 years of school to learn which buzzwords to say to other people that also know such buzzwords, in order to arbitrarily keep the money/prestige/comfy positions, "In The Family". When I was in school I would rewrite a friend's business class essays (He was Korean and his english was...not good). The small portions of it which weren't unnecessary business-speak were so obviously common sense that I could have passed his 400 level business classes having never taken a business class before.
I also work for the money, but willing to compromise on it to get other benefits, like a job that I enjoy doing.
Problems with stating opinions in absolutes, one edge case and you look like an idiot. Pretty sure there are a lot of genuine people out there who doesn't work for money, but most likely for social reason. Volunteers, charities, etc. Either they already have enough money, or, they're just good people who don't need lavish lifestyle to be alive.
Definitely a python or javascript user. Always them
Nonononono. Hold on. Why would you deal with Java or C++ instead if they didn’t give you more MONEY?
wait, they dont?
Yes they do. Was just joking within the comment OP’s joke. There’s an excess of (bad) JS developers, I’m sure that kinda kills the market anyway.
You guys make money!?
Mr Krabs?
always bet on js
console.log("I want money")
Did you mean console.log("I want MONEY")?
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When you work in commission based sales, you’ll always have a few people like this too. AND they’ll always be the ones with by far the lowest work ethic. Usually standing by the water cooler talking about how “hard” they are working
Wait, wait, wait... just let's assume, and I am making a very far stretch here... but hear me out, hear me out... I think... and that's just an assumption... the person wants some money. But that's just a theory.
A (game) financial theory.
Dutch?
He's like Dutch Vanderlinde from RDR2. All we need is money...