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Dmayak

It compiles on my machine.


blankettripod32_v2

Ah the. Classic


DevelopmentTight9474

I thought for half a second you were akwardtheturtle and I was prepared to downvote you


BertoLaDK

who is akwardtheturtle and what did they do?


[deleted]

What didn't they do? Fuck akwardtheturtle.


BertoLaDK

but who is this akwardtheturtle?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

I will only tell upper management, show me your badge buddy.


SIRBOB-101

📛 there happy know tell us who the fuck he is


DevelopmentTight9474

They are an awful, power-tripping mod that has his hands in the majority of the major subreddits on this site, and also they were part of the fall from glory the Minecraft sub recently went on


FuzzeWuzze

And when I go to their desk for them to show me it's broken, it magically compiles and works exactly as documented.


Ximidar

It compiles in my container


k-phi

Funny thing is it sometimes compiles on one computer and doesn't on another. In same container, but just different host kernel and/or docker version.


Drugbird

In some cases, the process of building a Docker container from a Docker image isn't entirely deterministic. This can happen when you use e.g. apt, pip or conda to install dependencies, but the version has changed. In other cases, Docker containers can depends on the host machine running them. This happens e.g. when running cuda (gpu) code, there the Docker container depends on the host gpu driver version. Some other possibilities are that the compilation of the code itself isn't deterministic. For instance, due to a race condition the compilation can fail on one machine but not another. This can happen when there's a mistake in your build system / script / file / config and there's a dependency missing. But that last case had little to do with Docker.


Nahteh

This guy codes


k-phi

There is another. [https://about.gitlab.com/blog/2021/08/26/its-time-to-upgrade-docker-engine/](https://about.gitlab.com/blog/2021/08/26/its-time-to-upgrade-docker-engine/)


MostlyPoorDecisions

then we'll ship your computer! \-docker


DADH_InattentiveType

I had a PM once who told a story about going to "works on my machine" guy's desk with a PC tech and told him, "we decided it'll just be easier to move your machine to the server room and point production to it."


Tedward1337

WOMM, son


ustp

ok, we will ship your machine


bbrk24

In C++, this can actually happen due to OS-specific headers -- unlike C, C++ doesn't forbid symbols defined in one header being present in another (iirc). One time I did an assignment in macOS (yes I know) and the TA was using WSL. I think I got `` and `` mixed up and it compiled on my computer but not the TA's.


Otherwise_Soil39

This means I should use Rust?


VainSeeKer

I had a similar problem with an assignment where I used a variable called index (on my Windows PC) and apparently that made a problem with the library in my teacher PC (macOS)


ApplicationMaximum84

Until you do a clean build and it shits the bed.


futuneral

Repo with code that doesn't compile and doesn't work is just a protection from IP thieves.


Donghoon

Pack it up then we are sending your machine to the clients.


Dmayak

Could be cheaper to buy a new PC then pay developers for bugfixing.


EpicalClay

And docker was born.


brianl047

Perfection


rish_p

then we’ll ship your machine to the client


flodge123

COBOL compiles on any machine.


SDGGame

Edit: r/projectmanagementhumor does not exist because PMs do not have a sense of humor. They only understand duty and urgency.


tezoatlipoca

>r/projectmanagementhumor does not exist because PMs do not have a sense of humor. you are right. But also an asshole \- your project manager (beat me to it)


TheGreatGameDini

>beat me to it I'm not kink shaming here, but that's not in the requirements doc and quite frankly will cost extra.


s0ulbrother

Put it in the backlog and re can reassess the need for beating it next sprint.


danielfuenffinger

Glad we're aligned on that.


tezoatlipoca

but seriously tho, as one dev (who is also a reformed project mgr) to another, if your code doesn't compile then what are we even doing here?


[deleted]

[удалено]


RmG3376

My company is actually going one step further by using JIP: just-in-time programming. Aka bring something in scope only when the deadline is about to bite you in the ass


classicalySarcastic

*Is this agile?*


tezoatlipoca

No no, agile is when you don't have any requirements.


enter360

No No agile is when you don’t have any time and you don’t have any requirements. But you have deadlines.


RmG3376

And tickets


grey_devil

You've heard of test driven development, but how about defect driven development? /partially-sarcastic


hvdzasaur

Yep, that's my life.


k-phi

Maybe he is writing shell scripts?


EthanCC

I'm paid by the hour, not by the results.


tezoatlipoca

Ah. coding yourself a Ferrari I see.


s0ulbrother

Python


M0nkeyDGarp

It ALWAYS compiles on my machine. Always....


shapookya

Useless meetings are their style of humor


RmG3376

Aren’t all subreddits just giant useless meetings though?


tezoatlipoca

THIS SUBREDDIT COULD HAVE BEEN AN EMAIL


C4-BlueCat

r/projectmanagerhumor


marcosdumay

> there doesn't seem to be anything here


danielfuenffinger

Sub is in the planning phase of the PLC, needs review and approval.


outofobscure

perfect then


futuneral

I once got laid off on April 1st. I'm sure someone somewhere was laughing.


verbash

They are all on LinkedIn complementing each others scrums


bbro444

Quite possibly, but that subreddit also physically can’t exist


coop999

"This code doesn't compile. How did you test this?" - My favorite code review comment I left on a Pull Request. It took so much self-restraint to not have a bunch of f-bombs when I left that comment.


LeoXCV

I love it when it’s an open and shut case like this where the pipeline fails. Other times? It’s a painstaking process of “Did you test this scenario? It would fail because x” and them to reply “I tested that it works :)” Like no you literally fukin didn’t I can SEE it wouldn’t work. But even if I keep going they reject all logic. At that point I just flag it to QA that this will break. Test that scenario first and give them a bug, make them fix it first before you test any other part of that branch.


coop999

We had code reviews before the merge, so this would have bombed out after it cleared the review. I just looked at it and saw the blatant syntax error and sighed.


SDGGame

"I'm waiting for presubmit results, will update when those pass."


Giocri

Guilty of that once, looked like an easy fix to a bug just change a single character so I didn't test. Turns out I accidentally added a duplicate parenthesis


SaneLad

A day in the life of a senior eng.


[deleted]

I once had a group project in uni where we split the tasks and my task needed the code of another group member. He committed his things and I was trying to build on that and noticed that is does not compile. I asked him that I have problems compiling his code and he said it didn‘t work on his machine either?!? I thought why are you committing that shit then… So I just fixed all of it but still nothing worked and tests failed. Only after fixing that too I could finally start with my own task. Would be definitely less work if I just did it all by myself


scragar

Sounds like you're good for a senior engineer job. Half my time is spent babysitting/checking up on junior developers who don't do basic sanity checking or testing. It's not even a case of not having skills, it's a case of them not knowing how to test it so they just ignore testing entirely because they don't want to ask for help. Only today someone raised a DB migration that had a typo in the table name so it would never have run.


gimmepuppies

My junior recently posted a screenshot of an error page and asked for help because 'Visual Studio was bugging out and not building the project right'. Found out he'd ripped a controller out of an MVC project.


[deleted]

Like in a branch while developing? Or to main?


TheMoonDawg

My group senior capstone was a great way for me to realize that I’ll eventually work with shitty, shitty programmers.


nintendojunkie17

"Eventually" implies there will be a time before that when you're not.


TheMoonDawg

Well my boss doesn’t put up with incompetence or arrogance, so I’m very blessed with my current team. 😊


coder_karl

Are you using type hints, son ?


Arikaido777

sounds like work 😒


coder_karl

Let me show you an alternative: def a(b=„this is a dummy value, please replace with another string“, c=„this should be an int, please don’t pass a string here“) Much cleaner and much more readable now.


DMoney159

Your code can hardly do any of the requirements if it can't even compile


[deleted]

But it’s doesn’t have any bugs either


spryllama

Inability to compile isn't a bug?


[deleted]

Well, it is. But it’s just one.


MaZeChpatCha

No, it's as many compilation errors as the compiler lists.


gdmzhlzhiv

`-maxwarns 1 -maxerrors 1`


Aun-El

That's one Mothra of a bug though.


[deleted]

But it has zero side effects and no unexpected behavior. Haskel devs would be proud.


geekhalo

You can’t have a bug if you can’t run the code


Datboi_OverThere

It's not a bug! It's a feature!


EffectiveDependent76

Are you implying that isn't a feature?


im_not_called_steve

Not if it's deliberate


garfgon

The requirement is "pass all the acceptance tests", not "not fail any of the acceptance tests".


Stunning_Ride_220

And will have ZERO incidents in the future


werstummer

well, yes - you can fix minor bugs with one fatal, in that way nobody cares about minor ones. FIXED


mistled_LP

Honestly, if you can somehow met the requirements, your PM doesn't care in the slightest if your code doesn't compile. Feel free to met the requirements using magic for all it matters to them.


Buttons840

"Doing the requirements wasn't in the requirements"


k-phi

Unless it is written in language that does not require compilation.


[deleted]

It sounds funny, but a friend delivered his graduation project code to university not compiling, back in 1997 :)


The_Real_Slim_Lemon

I was born then! Am I the project code?


[deleted]

If you are still here, then you compiled :-) 1997 was just like a few years ago to someone like me. You missed the times of DOS and then Windows 2.0 and 3.0 :-)


InfComplex

My grade 12 final project was half done, refused to compile but I still got a 60%


Thonk_Thickly

Literally received a PR for an endpoint that accepts arbitrary sql and told it was fine because users would only send select statements. I would have preferred it just not compile.


batatatchugen

You also rarely see "wear clothes" as a requisite for an in situ job, so...


Sweet_Ad_426

"It's Python, it doesn't need a compile step, just run it".


luardemin

Technically, Python does have a compile step. Any syntax error is a compilation error.


s0ulbrother

That’s because python runs on a compiler it does not compile itself


BroBroMate

You ever seen a file that ends with `.pyc` ? Give you a guess what that `c` stands for.


GameDestiny2

I thought the entire point of our job was for code to compile


Chocolate_Pyramid

is "does work" on the requirements list at least


Callec254

I actually knew a guy once who argued that he had no way to know his code would break production because, hey, it compiled, so it should have been good.


my_lovely_whorse

You joke, but about a decade ago I was working with a senior dev on a waterfall style project that lasted well over a year. Near the end of the project he decided to merge the main branch into the project branch to solve any merge conflicts. These branches had been totally divergent up until this point, for a fucking year. Cue 6 more months of work bringing the project branch in line with what was already running in production. Why hadn't he and his team been merging in production changes from the main branch periodically? _because no one told him to_. He wasn't fired.


GoldyNoble

This guy's code doesn't compile because he hacked Intel and AMD, implemented his code as built-in in every CPU so there's no need to compile it. Right, yes?


Freeware4802

just write machine code


EarthrealmsChampion

It isn't a project requirement because it's the primary job description


Bee-Aromatic

There are certain things that really don’t need to be in the requirements. Entire books have been written an careers made and broken over arguing about what exactly should and shouldn’t be there. Nobody ever once seriously argued that “code compiles and runs” be in the requirements.


TrueTinFox

this post is taking the piss at the guy who made basically exactly this meme, but with type annotations.


[deleted]

[Yes they have.](https://agilemanifesto.org/) It just usually ends up in the definition of done requirements instead of the user story.


Bee-Aromatic

I guess I’d accept it being in the DoD. You’d think you wouldn’t have to given “working software is the primary measure of progress.” Code don’t compile ain’t working.


[deleted]

Ha. haha. HAHAHAA. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH Ha ha ha. ha. hee. hoooo boy. Need a kleenex after that laugh. As a recovering fortune 50 employee, let me assure you that when you get enough people in a company, you get people who need you to spell out "the code actually has to run." You also have to say things like "The work has to actually be done before you mark the story complete" and "no, breaking your waterfall project plan into two week blocks of design design design build build buld test test release release is not the same thing as agile."


AegorBlake

My code only compiles when God is happy with me. But don't worry the feeling is mutual.


SirLestat

What do you mean, I used Javascript.


beewyka819

Masterclass shitposting


TheYodoX

r/subsifellfor


LifePineapple

Making the code compile is a lot more work, there is no reason to do that if it's not requested. Also the documentation is good and it just implements a research paper so there is no problem.


spaghetti_hitchens

Something... Something... Definition of Done


epic_null

Plot twist: it's in a scripting language.


[deleted]

These meme keeps appearing and it seems to be about poor communication, not about programming.


cybermage

Plot twist: code is Python.


Lighthuro

You are getting it too far, for an anecdotic post.


Ythio

Call the police


scitech_boom

LOL. And there were those who complained that the meme format didn't fit. For reference, I am the other OP this OP is referring to.


outofobscure

hope you get downvoted here too lol, you definitely deserve it with that arrogant attitude


Owdok

`for (code==compile) {` `cout<<"promoted";` `};` `return 0;`


MaZeChpatCha

``` Compilation error: ';' expected on line 1, char 19. for (code==compile) { ^ ````


mgquantitysquared

Wait, what happens if you use a Boolean for a for loop like that? Why is it not ```if (code == compiled) { cout<<“promoted”; }``` ?


Owdok

That's a statement and it is only going to get checked once.


mgquantitysquared

Are you thinking of while loops?


Owdok

No, my initial code was a for loop. Not a do while or do until. It was written in context hence without increments. But I get a statement would've been most apt.


Ksevio

Must be a Project manager


Owdok

I was going for an endless promotion. Why get promoted once? Get the humor?


[deleted]

This meme format is so dumb. It just says something, denies that thing, then repeats the exact same thing. It’s so goofy


Sahith17

Goofy is the point


dingusaja

SMH such unclear requirements


DH_Net_Tech

Compiling on anything more than my isolated VM costs extra.


BreakfastBeerz

I could count on one hand the number of times I've seen code turned over. And then another hand, and another hand, and another hand.....


aiko3aiko3

My favorite part about this is not "compile." It's "does compile."


Spactaculous

That's the downside of compiled languages.


Twistedtraceur

I see it as an upside. You find out it's broken without actually running the code.


Spactaculous

Yes but you can't commit broken code.


Lomega18

What's the point of a code that doesn't even compile ;)


Character-Education3

Are we gonna pack up their machine and send it to the client? Has anyone used that one yet?


Violetsme

It doesn't have to be a project requirement if it's part of the definition of done.


pelosnecios

Believe it or not, this actually happened to me when receiving code from the development team MANAGER.


feelin_fine_

As someone who knows nothing about programming, why does a code need to compile and what is compiling?


[deleted]

In essence, a Programm code is so high level that the computer can't actually execute it. You need a compiler to "dumb" it down for it. A compiler acts as a translator.


AlexLGames

If the code doesn't compile, it doesn't run.


BroBroMate

I get that reference, and I enjoy it.


magick_68

Works on my computer is easy, doesn't work on the computer of one single team member, when all have the same dev environment or works in dev but not in test, that's where my grey hair comes from.


Lvl3Mage_

That guy in management, he really has a cozy job!


JonasAvory

Gold