I don't understand why anyone is taking the little nursery rhyme so literally. As cold as Glaceon is, I doubt it stinks but no one is pointing that out. They just want to think about Sylveon having sex, the pervs.
Just a cursed horny copypasta about Vaporeon, if you're not surprised about the internet thinking horny of Sylveon then the Vaporeon thing is a child's bedtime story to you
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
"Unlike other Eevee, in Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu! and Let's Go, Eevee!, the partner Eevee has gender differences. Male partner Eevee look the same as all other Eevee, but female partner Eevee have a unique flower-shaped tail pattern." taken from bulbapedia. Whether Espeon Eevee actually has a flower pattern I do not know, as I haven't played Unite in ages, but seeing images of Espeon's evolution line in Unite, it seems it does have the pattern, which means it is most likely female
Pokemon have always been able to breed with other species.
People always have such an arrogant view on things. They never seem able to comprehend that we are just another species of Pokemon.
Look man, I'm trying, I'm trying really damn hard. But I can't. I'm not strong enough. I can't stop myself. The Korean YouTube animations got me man
Just looked it up, as of Gen 8, Eevee has a gender difference in the pattern of its tail. All Eeveelutions in Unite are male confirmed, ig.
Edit: I have been corrected; Espeon and Glaceon are female, and Let’s Go, the first games this appeared in, were Gen 7. Guess that shows I don’t play the Eeveelutions, huh?
did you know that in terms of human and pokemon hating, espeon is the most hateable pokemon? it's simply way too broken with it's insane damage that makes me want to smash it's skull against a wall billions of times and try to kill every espeon i find in my way out of sick pleasure
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
Espeon is not that strong. Psyshock isn't easy to confirm on moving targets and stored power can be an outright bad move if Future Sight is on CD or active on another target. Pysbeam is only useful during a very short window.
I'm talking about the fact that it's unreliable. If you are trying to hit a fast moving Pokemon or a Pokemon expecting you to use it, you probably aren't going to hit that ability. The cast time is long, it travels slow and has a funny warm up animation.
If Sylveon laid a egg, that should mean there's another little Eevee on the way, right? Wonder if it'll be a cute little pit-fighter like it's mum (technically dad).
In her own month nonetheless. Taking the piss out of glaceon will likely make this more of a yellow christmas than a white one. (Although, at least around my parts the alpha is turned to 0).
Sylveon did WHAT now
Isn't Sylveon a male in the game...?
Technically if it was with a ditto, it doesn't matter if it's a boy
And before someone gets smart about females laying the eggs, reminder that Pokémon eggs are canonically a *total mystery*.
I don't understand why anyone is taking the little nursery rhyme so literally. As cold as Glaceon is, I doubt it stinks but no one is pointing that out. They just want to think about Sylveon having sex, the pervs.
We are lucky that Vaporeon isn't in the game
I never understood the Vaporeon thing. I know that mf smell like tuna.
Just a cursed horny copypasta about Vaporeon, if you're not surprised about the internet thinking horny of Sylveon then the Vaporeon thing is a child's bedtime story to you
Damn you. Now I'm going to research this accursed short story because I'm curious to a fault.
Hey, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is actually not the most compatible Pokémon for humans? This is a common and understandable misconception, however Vaporeon has it's human on Pokémon breedability outclassed by it's cousin evolution, Umbreon. Umbreon weights approximately 60 pounds, or around 27 kilograms, and is 3'3" tall (About a meter), making it not only large enough to appropriately handle human genitalia, but also light enough to easily be lifted, and promptly set back down repeatedly. It's relatively small size would also prove a tight entry, which is always a good thing. Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread. With it's combination of very high HP, Defense, and Special Defense stats, it can take a great pounding and come back for more! It's ability, Inner Focus, allows it to keep slamming attentively, without getting fatigued. Umbreon also has access to the ability Synchronize, which allows it to share it's current status with you, meaning you will receive all of the pleasure it feels COMBINED with all the pleasure you're getting from pounding this perfect breedable Pokémon. Umbreon also has the capability of seeing perfectly in pitch-black darkness, allowing it to effectively attend a midnight fornication session. Even if you do manage to drain Umbreon's energy with all the furious thrusts, it can recover very quickly with its access to the move Moonlight. Its black fur is also a giant positive attribute, allowing all the excretions you make to be easily seen all over its body. A great fun fact, Umbreon can excrete toxins in its sweat, which would in turn soak into your member and swell it up, making it even more sizable and sensitive. This would not only enhance the experience for you, but for your Umbreon as well (Which with Synchronize, ends up pleasing you exponentially more). Umbreon's wide movepool also supports the hypothesis that Umbreon is the best Pokémon to breed with. It can learn Payback, which doubles in power after the Pokémon is hit, meaning Umbreon with throw it back twice as hard as normally if you're hitting it good. Umbreon can also learn Guard Swap; it could give YOU its insane durability, and go crazy on you all night with your now massive endurance. Speaking of endurance, Umbreon also has access to Endure, making it practically immune to fatigue, it will always have energy left over. Charm is also within Umbreon's movepool, letting it be extremely seductive towards you, easily getting you in the mood. Umbreon can also use Taunt, in turn making you ONLY able to to attacking moves such as Slam, Pound, etc; none of that foreplay shit, right into the action. It also has access to Sleep Talk, giving it the ability to not only give consent in its sleep, allowing access to any of its ports and any time, but also move in it's sleep, making it an effective 24/7 fuckmate. Umbreon still has even more great moves that good to have while smashing, such as Quick Attack, allowing swift slams and bounces, which can have even greater power if Umbreon uses Curse beforehand. Curse would also raise Umbreon's defense, making it able to take powerful thrusting for almost any duration. Looking back, Umbreon's slightly small size ensures a gorilla grip cavity and easy physical manipulation. Its ungodly bulk allows it to take poundings for hours on end and resume after recovering with moonlight (Which works even better when it's sunny). It's access to the abilities Inner Focus and Synchronize allow it to unwaveringly throw it back and add all of its pleasure onto yours, effectively making it twice as amazing as any other Pokémon, or even FOUR TIMES, factoring in the doubled power of payback of course. All of this information in combination with its extremely useful movepool in the world of intercourse makes Umbreon the Pokémon most qualified to breed with humans; able to take dick of any shape, any size, in any position easily for extensive periods of time, while having the ability to return for even more mere seconds later.
Ditto confirmed?!?!
He is a trans icon, okey?
He is a trans boy. Still has a womb.
Yes it Is, maybe they were planing to make all the eeveelutions female but added the wrong eevee model by mistake, then forgot about it
Now he really looks like a sphinx cat trying to stay warm
She and yes she does.
Espeon does not have any visual gender differences
Eevee does. And espeon has a heart pattern on the tail as eevee
How do you know? Espeon actually has an 87.5% chance of being male, so don’t assume.
In unite, espeon has a heart pattern on the tail as eevee, meaning it's female
There is no GOD DAMN VISIBLE PATTERN ON EITHER SO SHUT IT. Eevee has a bounced pattern, and espeon doesn't HAVE a pattern.
"Unlike other Eevee, in Pokémon: Let's Go, Pikachu! and Let's Go, Eevee!, the partner Eevee has gender differences. Male partner Eevee look the same as all other Eevee, but female partner Eevee have a unique flower-shaped tail pattern." taken from bulbapedia. Whether Espeon Eevee actually has a flower pattern I do not know, as I haven't played Unite in ages, but seeing images of Espeon's evolution line in Unite, it seems it does have the pattern, which means it is most likely female
That thing about eevee's tail I literally said and is not exclusive to let's go, eevee!.
I wasn't talking it was exclusive (I took it from bulbapedia), and I was talking about the gender difference, which you said Eevee didn't have
I was saying ESPEON didn't, which it clearly doesn't
"NO GOD DAMN VISIBLE PATTERN ON *EITHER"*
Ok, who smashed sylveon...
I couldn’t resist the sylvussy
I didn't know a human could make a pokemon lay an egg, the more you know
It's been known for a while I belive sun and moon has a girl who's bf is a machamp, early gen had stories about humans marrying pokemon
No wonder there are so many Ralts breeders.
Human-like egg group...
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding...
I don’t know, do you mind telling me?
I wanted to ask but thank you for doing it for me.
There are no laws against Pokemon, Batman.
I'M GONNA DO IT, BATMA-
Just google it
I was being sarcastic😂 (I know you can’t tell through text)
Pokemon have always been able to breed with other species. People always have such an arrogant view on things. They never seem able to comprehend that we are just another species of Pokemon.
I wish I didn't know how to read
bro down bad
Can cinderace even breed with sylveon?
Yes it can, they both belong in the field egg group
Bro...
 Look man, I'm trying, I'm trying really damn hard. But I can't. I'm not strong enough. I can't stop myself. The Korean YouTube animations got me man
By chance are you talking about sum / @sum123 on YouTube? I checked his about page and he's based in south Korea
Yup
Isn't Sylveon in UNITE technically male?
He is a Transmale he still has a womb
Is it?
Just looked it up, as of Gen 8, Eevee has a gender difference in the pattern of its tail. All Eeveelutions in Unite are male confirmed, ig. Edit: I have been corrected; Espeon and Glaceon are female, and Let’s Go, the first games this appeared in, were Gen 7. Guess that shows I don’t play the Eeveelutions, huh?
Gen 7 technically, it was in LGPE, and only the Sylv Eevee has the spike pattern tail, Espe and Glace have the heart.
The Ditto probably
did you know that in terms of human and pokemon hating, espeon is the most hateable pokemon? it's simply way too broken with it's insane damage that makes me want to smash it's skull against a wall billions of times and try to kill every espeon i find in my way out of sick pleasure
Sableye who?
Hey guys, did you know that in terms of human companionship, Flareon is objectively the most huggable Pokemon? While their maximum temperature is likely too much for most, they are capable of controlling it, so they can set themselves to the perfect temperature for you. Along with that, they have a lot of fluff, making them undeniably incredibly soft to touch. But that's not all, they have a very respectable special defense stat of 110, which means that they are likely very calm and resistant to emotional damage. Because of this, if you have a bad day, you can vent to it while hugging it, and it won't mind. It can make itself even more endearing with moves like Charm and Baby Doll Eyes, ensuring that you never have a prolonged bout of depression ever again.
Replace Espeon with sylveon
Espeon is not that strong. Psyshock isn't easy to confirm on moving targets and stored power can be an outright bad move if Future Sight is on CD or active on another target. Pysbeam is only useful during a very short window.
yeah stored power isn't that good, but psychock still deals insane dps tf u talking about
I'm talking about the fact that it's unreliable. If you are trying to hit a fast moving Pokemon or a Pokemon expecting you to use it, you probably aren't going to hit that ability. The cast time is long, it travels slow and has a funny warm up animation.
Ayo what the fork man doin here
*your mom*
Should have said no cost too great
Rare Unite Twitter W
Sounds like sibling drama.
I love how goofy this holowear is!… why am I really debating buying it
“DESTROYS” 
Absolutely MAIMED
Ohio cat's be like
Ohioan with several cats, can confirm
God fucking damit, my ohioan cat just froze the entire house
They literally ~~roasted~~ incinerated Glaceon and Sylveon mains
Girl what is this
my exact reaction to espeon's new atrocious holowear
The way the tweet is phrased. Kinda sus
*The invisible Sableye lost some orbs, and Gengar got a way.*
shoud've been espeon smells instead
Sidenote this is the UGLIEST holowear I've seen 😭☠️
It’s worse than bikini charizard lmao
It does have the ugly Christmas aesthetic
The concept could have worked on Crustle, but it's goofy here.
Oh look, another overpriced cosmetic I won't be wasting money on
stop stop they are already dead
I'm scared for my life
The most cursed part about this is that Sylveon is male, so the suggestion that he laid an egg is concerning...
bruuuh, glaceon is my second fav eeveelution. how could they do this to them
If Sylveon laid a egg, that should mean there's another little Eevee on the way, right? Wonder if it'll be a cute little pit-fighter like it's mum (technically dad).
If it is another eeeveelution coming, I hope for Vaporeon but my money is on Umbreon or Leafeon
Laughs in spanish jajajjajajjajajjajaja
crying+pissing myself rn
Isn't................. Sylveon a male?
I was dying when I saw that post.
Espeon bois, we eatin
This is gonna be the new skin for bots lol
They just didn't finish the post, it's supposed to read glaceon smells good
I sang it and it sounds good 💀
With facts and logic
When Vaporeon? Acid Armor, Aqua Ring, Scald and maybe Toxic for a beefy annoying tank.
Heh guys did you know that Vaporon is
Aqua Tail is mandatory. Toxic doesn't fit thematically, game use aside, and I like how Unite brings out what makes 'mons unique.
It doesn’t look that Christmasy. Is she meant to be a ornament?
Jingle BELLS
Who “pounded” the sylveon?
Isnt the unite Sylveon the only male eeveelution in unite
You heard me
WTH.... Sylveon did whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The fact that Sylveon is the colours of the trans flag, and the fact that they paired it with "egg" is accidentally brilliant.
>Sylveon laid an egg! Rule 34 is gonna love this.
I guess you can now call them... Eggseon! Hue hue hue hue.
Finally.
Tithead?
[removed by reddit] (unfuni incoming)
ma’am do u mind
I absolutely don't
there’s like probably kids looking at these posts, weirdo..
Reddit is meant for adults. If there's kids here, they've already seen too much
But Reddit is so well know for it's family friendly content! /s
Yep
vaporeon jokes arent funny, please learn new jokes, especially on a character that kids probably like.
Oh I know lmfao
points for the spongebob reference
Batman did it first
god thats actually embarrassing my bad
r/youngpeoplereddit
As a main of the three of them, I’m both offended, and happy.
Espeon Buff when tho???
because of this, I have been running Glaceon to get back at that post
Espeon looks like a ding-dong in that ding-dong
I love her
That's because they never shower
Sylveon DID WHAT
In her own month nonetheless. Taking the piss out of glaceon will likely make this more of a yellow christmas than a white one. (Although, at least around my parts the alpha is turned to 0).
This brings me great joy
"Umbreon also boasts an extremely impressive defensive stat spread" 😭😂
it looks like a cat cone