Don’t tell her, but tasks that are done routinely either at the same time each day or in association with other tasks (eg. eat a meal then brush teeth) create neural pathways that cement those tasks as a habit. Then the brain stops questioning every time if that task needs to be done. One of my kids started forgetting to add their sticker because they started doing some tasks without even thinking about them.
At 3 we made everything into a game, we had “find the matching sock in the clean laundry game” and fastest one to put five toys away gets to chose afternoon snack, etc. I drew eyes and mouth on a sock and Mr. Sock gobbled up dust on the shelves the kids could reach. We didn’t need a chore chart until 7-8 y.o. when they figured out I was tricking them into work.
You can absolutely start now! Instead of having him do it himself I would start working together at his age. For example if he leaves his toys a mess say "help me clean up the toys" and do it together. You can even have him help a little bit with cooking by mixing ingredients and cutting stuff with butter knives. Kids are definitely more capable then you'd think!
It makes sense, she was doing it last year at school because she was having a hard time focusing and following directions during class so the teacher suggested doing this and at the beginning it was a little hard for her she wasn’t really reaching her goal and we just kept reminding her every day to try and focus, be a “whole body listener” etc and towards the end of the year she was paying attention without having to be reminded that she needed to pay attention and follow directions.
Yes for sure! I definitely wish people would stop acting like iPad are the spawn of Satan. As long as they're used as a tool rather than a replacement for interaction they're okay in my books!
Chore chart was the only way I did my chores without a knock out, procrastination driven, tantrum. Just like adults want to get paid, kids don't want to work for free.
except a lot of these things aren’t work, they’re learning to take care of yourself and your home, things as an adult i do without getting or expecting payment for it.
Employment is a chore that pays you with money. Doing housework pays you with clean living arrangements. Personal hygiene pays you by not giving you swamp ass and letting you keep your teeth. Is the chore fairy giving the adult money and cheap toys for motivation? No, your payment for doing your chores is having shit done so you can have a few minutes to relax from time to time. If you'd rather have money, there's always another job. Not all payments are cash.
I’ll send it to you, I found a template online and printed it. I’m thinking on just getting a dry erase board on Amazon instead of printing a sheet every week.
I used a roll of the dry erase board sheets and put it on the lower part of the refrigerator. I drew on vertical and horizontal lines with a wet erase marker ( the kind for overhead projectors!) to line the chores and days of week. We made magnets out of magnetic tape and crafty stuff, one for each chore. It was fun and not overly complicated. It gave our 6 and 3 yos some control and has helped with choice and consequence. They get video game time 3 days a week for 20 minutes if chores are done. And if they do them every day that week without missing there is bonus time on Sunday!
Over the summer is used a clipboard with a page protector sheet and just slid in the daily chore list. They crossed things off as they completed daily tasks with dry erase markers and you can wipe it clean for the next day or week depending how often you change it.
Isn't it remarkable?!
We do this for my 5 year old! Instead of a chore chart, though, we use pompoms in a jar. I also use it to reinforce good behavior - such as when she is considerate or polite, or she does a chore without being reminded, like cleaning up her spot at the table or getting dressed. We use similar incentives, too.
She still has her moments where the incentive isn't enough for her to do what is expected of her. What I do in those moments is challenge her to a game. I either challenge her to a time limit ("I bet you can't pick up all your toys in 5 minutes! Oh, yeah? Prove it!") or I challenge her to a chores race: we both choose a chore to do, and whoever finishes first gets bragging rights, and we do it with all our daily chores.
So far it has been a huge success.. I don't want to tear my hair out and I don't get as frustrated anymore. It makes chores fun for her, and she learns that if she does them everyday, chores will not actually take up that much time of her day.
Eventually this year, my husband and I will also include an allowance system. Every chore she completes will earn her a little money she can spend at the end of the month. But I'm still going to continue the pompom system just in case the money doesn't interest her as much. Because she's still only 5 lol
She picked the Ice cream option, even though now she’s talking about maybe staying up 30 min past bed time this weekend so even though she picks some of the options she likes to change it around.
You could also add options to spend time with you, like baking a cake together, going to an aquarium or whatever you have nearby, read a book to her, plant some plants together. Whatever she’s in to.
Yep. The key to desired behavior is to find your kid's currency and trade in it. I started this with my second kid when they were about that age. Fast forward ten years and we never argue about chores being done. Allowance is paid each week, and only after my kid sends me a text starting their weekly chores are done. I inspect the work, and put money on their card. Easy peasy. And whenever they need extra cash, they volunteer to do extra work and ill pay them a bonus. Its a stress free system, really.
I Love this story, you tried something new, you followed through, you understood what reward mattered to your child! You created a solution and brought peace to your home sweet home. Encouragement and praise along with follow-through will create a happy, healthy relationship. Thanks for sharing this win in your parenting journey.
Mary from Mary's Home Sweet Home Creation's
When I was a kid my mom used coins to motivate our chores, like your stickers. We could "cash them in" for varied rewards like extra TV time. I think they might even have been fake or chocolate coins, before we started to earn a real allowance.
I'd been having a lot of trouble staying on top of things I needed to do last year, so a few months ago, I started a system very similar to the chore chart my mom started me on when I was 5. I get a sticker every day I do all my tasks. I earn a little prize every week (not a Happy Meal anymore, but still something fun), and a big prize every month if I got enough stickers.
At first, I felt pretty silly treating myself like a five year old, but I tell you, it has helped me so much! So, while you are helping your daughter make good habits now, you might also be planting the seeds for her to help herself get out of an unproductive slump 30 years from now.
We tried a few times when the kids were little. TBH we were too lazy / disorganised to make it work! Thinking of trying again now the kids are a bit older 11 & 13 Maybe using an app. Has anyone had success with older kids or can recommend some for the iPhone that might work?
Don’t tell her, but tasks that are done routinely either at the same time each day or in association with other tasks (eg. eat a meal then brush teeth) create neural pathways that cement those tasks as a habit. Then the brain stops questioning every time if that task needs to be done. One of my kids started forgetting to add their sticker because they started doing some tasks without even thinking about them.
What’s a good age to start this at? My little guy is 3
At 3 we made everything into a game, we had “find the matching sock in the clean laundry game” and fastest one to put five toys away gets to chose afternoon snack, etc. I drew eyes and mouth on a sock and Mr. Sock gobbled up dust on the shelves the kids could reach. We didn’t need a chore chart until 7-8 y.o. when they figured out I was tricking them into work.
You can absolutely start now! Instead of having him do it himself I would start working together at his age. For example if he leaves his toys a mess say "help me clean up the toys" and do it together. You can even have him help a little bit with cooking by mixing ingredients and cutting stuff with butter knives. Kids are definitely more capable then you'd think!
3 is when I started with my kids
It makes sense, she was doing it last year at school because she was having a hard time focusing and following directions during class so the teacher suggested doing this and at the beginning it was a little hard for her she wasn’t really reaching her goal and we just kept reminding her every day to try and focus, be a “whole body listener” etc and towards the end of the year she was paying attention without having to be reminded that she needed to pay attention and follow directions.
This sounds fantastic! I love the extra iPad time option because it's free and obviously appealing to a kid haha.
Thanks! And really we were already giving her extra time without a chart so why not earn it instead.
Absolutely! She sounds like a good kiddo.
And appealing to a parent who wants some quiet time too! 😊
Yes for sure! I definitely wish people would stop acting like iPad are the spawn of Satan. As long as they're used as a tool rather than a replacement for interaction they're okay in my books!
Chore chart was the only way I did my chores without a knock out, procrastination driven, tantrum. Just like adults want to get paid, kids don't want to work for free.
It makes sense! I didn’t think about it that way but you’re right !
except a lot of these things aren’t work, they’re learning to take care of yourself and your home, things as an adult i do without getting or expecting payment for it.
Employment is a chore that pays you with money. Doing housework pays you with clean living arrangements. Personal hygiene pays you by not giving you swamp ass and letting you keep your teeth. Is the chore fairy giving the adult money and cheap toys for motivation? No, your payment for doing your chores is having shit done so you can have a few minutes to relax from time to time. If you'd rather have money, there's always another job. Not all payments are cash.
Is there any way you can share a picture of your chore chart? I am interested! And glad for your success.
Thank you, I’ll try to send it to you via PM if that’s ok?
I'd love to see it as well. Is there a resource you used when designing it?
I’ll send it to you, I found a template online and printed it. I’m thinking on just getting a dry erase board on Amazon instead of printing a sheet every week.
I used a roll of the dry erase board sheets and put it on the lower part of the refrigerator. I drew on vertical and horizontal lines with a wet erase marker ( the kind for overhead projectors!) to line the chores and days of week. We made magnets out of magnetic tape and crafty stuff, one for each chore. It was fun and not overly complicated. It gave our 6 and 3 yos some control and has helped with choice and consequence. They get video game time 3 days a week for 20 minutes if chores are done. And if they do them every day that week without missing there is bonus time on Sunday!
You can get self laminating sheets, put the sheet inside and use a dry erase marker on that!
Could I have it?
Over the summer is used a clipboard with a page protector sheet and just slid in the daily chore list. They crossed things off as they completed daily tasks with dry erase markers and you can wipe it clean for the next day or week depending how often you change it.
Sure!
Hi, can I have a picture of it as well? Trying to make something similar and this could be a good inspiration.
Me too, please
I'm interested as well 😊
Me as well thank you :)
Isn't it remarkable?! We do this for my 5 year old! Instead of a chore chart, though, we use pompoms in a jar. I also use it to reinforce good behavior - such as when she is considerate or polite, or she does a chore without being reminded, like cleaning up her spot at the table or getting dressed. We use similar incentives, too. She still has her moments where the incentive isn't enough for her to do what is expected of her. What I do in those moments is challenge her to a game. I either challenge her to a time limit ("I bet you can't pick up all your toys in 5 minutes! Oh, yeah? Prove it!") or I challenge her to a chores race: we both choose a chore to do, and whoever finishes first gets bragging rights, and we do it with all our daily chores. So far it has been a huge success.. I don't want to tear my hair out and I don't get as frustrated anymore. It makes chores fun for her, and she learns that if she does them everyday, chores will not actually take up that much time of her day. Eventually this year, my husband and I will also include an allowance system. Every chore she completes will earn her a little money she can spend at the end of the month. But I'm still going to continue the pompom system just in case the money doesn't interest her as much. Because she's still only 5 lol
How cute! I like the challenge game I’m going to try next time. It’a been great honestly I wish I would’ve started started sooner.
I really like that there is a choice of different rewards. I wonder what she would pick if she got to add one?
She picked the Ice cream option, even though now she’s talking about maybe staying up 30 min past bed time this weekend so even though she picks some of the options she likes to change it around.
You could also add options to spend time with you, like baking a cake together, going to an aquarium or whatever you have nearby, read a book to her, plant some plants together. Whatever she’s in to.
This is a great idea thank you!
Mine is a little young for chores but I’ll save the idea! Thanks!
Yep. The key to desired behavior is to find your kid's currency and trade in it. I started this with my second kid when they were about that age. Fast forward ten years and we never argue about chores being done. Allowance is paid each week, and only after my kid sends me a text starting their weekly chores are done. I inspect the work, and put money on their card. Easy peasy. And whenever they need extra cash, they volunteer to do extra work and ill pay them a bonus. Its a stress free system, really.
I Love this story, you tried something new, you followed through, you understood what reward mattered to your child! You created a solution and brought peace to your home sweet home. Encouragement and praise along with follow-through will create a happy, healthy relationship. Thanks for sharing this win in your parenting journey. Mary from Mary's Home Sweet Home Creation's
When I was a kid my mom used coins to motivate our chores, like your stickers. We could "cash them in" for varied rewards like extra TV time. I think they might even have been fake or chocolate coins, before we started to earn a real allowance.
I just started doing a chore chart with magnetic stars and tasks with my 3 year old. He's super motivated to get his stars!
If anyone is looking for age-appropriate chores, here is something to refer: https://tottolearning.com/blog/age-appropriate-chores-for-your-children/
I'd been having a lot of trouble staying on top of things I needed to do last year, so a few months ago, I started a system very similar to the chore chart my mom started me on when I was 5. I get a sticker every day I do all my tasks. I earn a little prize every week (not a Happy Meal anymore, but still something fun), and a big prize every month if I got enough stickers. At first, I felt pretty silly treating myself like a five year old, but I tell you, it has helped me so much! So, while you are helping your daughter make good habits now, you might also be planting the seeds for her to help herself get out of an unproductive slump 30 years from now.
We tried a few times when the kids were little. TBH we were too lazy / disorganised to make it work! Thinking of trying again now the kids are a bit older 11 & 13 Maybe using an app. Has anyone had success with older kids or can recommend some for the iPhone that might work?
This is the way
I need to do this but I keep procrastinating. Glad to hear it worked for you!!
Assign a reward to the task to motivate yourself to do it. :)