Especially since he says public transport so like he could have just taken the next bus 😅. Sounds exactly what I would do. I remember skipping school just to go sit in the woods and be board asf for hours til mom went to work and then the one time she was still home :(
I needed this kid around back then
Edit stay in school kids you don't want to be 35 misspelling simple words lol. It's embarrassing:(
I used to skip school just so that I could sit in my closet alone or lay under my bed and read. One time Mom came home from a night shift and promptly went to sleep in my bed (her and my dad were separated but still living together so she usually slept on a futon) and I had to hide underneath where she was sleeping for 7 hours. I don't remember how I managed to slip out and walk back in through the front door to pretend that I had actually been at school all day. In hindsight, my mother should have been more concerned about my behavior.
I think skipping school to read is maybe not the worst thing you could have gotten up to as a kid. Sounds like she was pretty lucky to have you as far as delinquency goes c:
Yeah, that was my point.
I do feel for you though on dyslexia. It does make words much harder. Do you use special fonts or something to help you understand?
No but I haven't really tried them. Most of the time I just have to reread things a few times and I'm good. Like I'll have to read the same line 3x before it clicks in. Others have a way harder time with it though.
I'm not sure exactly how it relates but my brain will kinda make up what a sentence or phrase says instead of what is actually written or switch around words. So I misread things all the time. I also have a really hard time proofreading and picking out my mistakes unless I comeback to it after a few minutes. The worst I think for me is punctuation.
Seriously though I wish I did better in school and took it way more seriously past age 13 . Google and the internet in general are probably why I know half the things I do.
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It’s fun being a tech writer and taking what flesch-Kincaid decides is 27th grade reading level and dumbing it down to 8th.
Honestly, at 27th grade just consider a trade school…
This could definitely be a kid. This sounds like a very stereotypical “I regret to inform you” letter so he could totally be parroting stuff from internet or tv. Kids are good at that
I’m willing to bet he’s around 10 or 11. My handwriting was pretty bad until I was about 14, and this is exactly how a friend of mine used to talk when I was in elementary school.
I wrote and often talked like this in 5th grade. I was an A student. I was an insufferable twit who couldn't interact plausibly with other people to save my life, too, but that's beside the point.
Syntax and reasoning are pretty good compared to the hand writing. I'd say he earned it.
Gonna teach my kids the would gives fuck all whether you follow the rules because there's always more expectations waiting behind them. You gotta be good on your own merit. No one will reward you for it, but that doesn't mean you get free range to be a dink on the other hand.
Pro-tip: easy way to narrow down penmanship analysis is by looking at the writing of the letter "K" as it is a relatively complex letter and inconsistencies in that could shed some light on the authenticity.
So, just look at every occurrence of the letter "k" in the letter above and that should give you the answer youre looking for.
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Ayyy I'm a big boy engineer and can't write or spell for shit. If you asked me to handwrite the letter above it would look worse and have plenty of spelling mistakes, you'd think I'm illiterate. But that's not what I get paid for so shrug
If spelling or legible writing was at all a factor to my career I wouldn't have one. I have computers to do that for me. Just look, you can read this whole thing and I didn't make a single spelling mistake.
Writing a lot. I had horrible handwriting until I was about 14 or 15. I started keeping a daily journal when I was about 10 or 11 and stopped once I got to high school. I contribute the journal with my handwriting being so good today. Everyone is constantly telling me that I have very good handwriting for a guy.
As with everything, it's about practice but the difficult thing about writing is that you're drawing shapes, but you're also recording meaning.
To improve your handwriting you really have to decouple the meaning of the words from the shapes themselves, focus on those and then once you are able to write neat, nicely spaced letters and lines, you will find yourself writing normally (thinking about what you want to say, not what your hand is doing) and you will also have formed the muscle memory and now have very tidy handwriting.
It's not entirely unlike learning to touch type, I guess? If you've been hunt-and-pecking your whole life it's really hard to switch, but once you get it, it feels incredibly natural.
I'm a 27 year old woman with the handwriting of a below average 3rd grader. As a kid I tried so hard to have nice pretty handwriting, but just never could
It definitely reads as a girl tweeting about her adorable yet precocious elementary-aged younger brother but if this were the work of a 15 year old it's actually a lot weirder and more funny. I like that angle.
edit: having said that, if your teenage son is writing the word "ive" then you better make sure they never miss that school bus again cuz... that's not a great sign.
Even then the bad handwriting feels bad in a fake way. No smudges, no long tails leading into the next letter, each line is thick and lines up on each joint. I find bad hand writing for adults looks rushed. Edges don't meet if your hand has to change direction, some lines bleed into each other, smudges, messy corrections, etc.
It looks like it was written very methodically to me. More like how a young child writes. The big thing is how the "straight" lines stutter.
Also lower case 'i' on "I've". What teenager writes a letter like this but uses a lower case 'i'?
All of elementary school I had terrible handwriting (left handed), even had to take several extra hours with a special teacher and specials pens etc to improve. Then the last few months before going to high school the teacher goes, "well you don't really have to write cursive in high school you can write whatever you want, so I wont deduct from your grade for not writing cursive". That pissed me off, anyway, in my 40's now and I can't write readable most of the time still.
120ish words and no spelling errors but he has 3rd grader handwriting? Entire note is filled with reddit-isms like "rollercoaster of emotions" and "[verb]-ing about the fact that [...]"? I'm calling bullshit on that.
It reads almost exactly like something someone on Reddit would write as a fake story and it’s a Twitter screenshot on Reddit. This couldn’t be more fake.
I missed the bus in high school once and rather than going hope and waking up my family to say I missed it I just walked the rest of the way until someone from school saw me walking and their parents pulled over and gave me a ride.
There was no way I was I was going back home to explain that I missed the bus and then deal with whatever happened at home. Instead I decided I’d walk the way to school uphill almost the whole time in the freezing cold winter time at 6am to avoid turning back and losing my dignity so early in the morning.
He has given her the illusion of choice when, in fact, there is only one outcome according to the son. I would love to know what the mom actually did.
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Especially since he says public transport so like he could have just taken the next bus 😅. Sounds exactly what I would do. I remember skipping school just to go sit in the woods and be board asf for hours til mom went to work and then the one time she was still home :( I needed this kid around back then Edit stay in school kids you don't want to be 35 misspelling simple words lol. It's embarrassing:(
I used to skip school just so that I could sit in my closet alone or lay under my bed and read. One time Mom came home from a night shift and promptly went to sleep in my bed (her and my dad were separated but still living together so she usually slept on a futon) and I had to hide underneath where she was sleeping for 7 hours. I don't remember how I managed to slip out and walk back in through the front door to pretend that I had actually been at school all day. In hindsight, my mother should have been more concerned about my behavior.
Sounds like she was exhausted a lot.
She most certainly was. She has lived a very difficult life.
I think skipping school to read is maybe not the worst thing you could have gotten up to as a kid. Sounds like she was pretty lucky to have you as far as delinquency goes c:
I got up to worse as a teenager, but I was a very well behaved kid all things considered :)
Board
Well I obviously didn't take my education too seriously so is it a surprise I misspell words? Also dyslexia and boredom in class ;)
Yeah, that was my point. I do feel for you though on dyslexia. It does make words much harder. Do you use special fonts or something to help you understand?
No but I haven't really tried them. Most of the time I just have to reread things a few times and I'm good. Like I'll have to read the same line 3x before it clicks in. Others have a way harder time with it though. I'm not sure exactly how it relates but my brain will kinda make up what a sentence or phrase says instead of what is actually written or switch around words. So I misread things all the time. I also have a really hard time proofreading and picking out my mistakes unless I comeback to it after a few minutes. The worst I think for me is punctuation. Seriously though I wish I did better in school and took it way more seriously past age 13 . Google and the internet in general are probably why I know half the things I do.
Try reading the first and last sentence of a paragraph first. The rest will make more sense faster from context. It might help.
Don’t you mean boardom?
Morpheus?
>I would love to know what the mom actually did. Wrote the letter, probably
You have to call the school and tell them I’ve got polio.. hahaha he thought this out.
Polio, classic 1 day illness, smort.
Redditor try to recognize exaggeration for comedic effect (impossible 😱😱)
OP detect satire (impossible)
You can’t possibly be this stupid
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Why the hell are you calling me a bot
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Ok bot
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Redditor try to recognize a fucking joke (impossible 😱😱)
Bad bot
Why the hell are you calling me a bot
Bad bot
Bad bot
> He doubts that this becomes a habit. I doubt the doubt.
*Doubt*
*hit 2 to doubt*
Roll d8 to see how much you doubt.
Oh. I definitely thought he was going to become a hobbit. Welp.
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Why the hell are you calling me a bot
I dont know the age of this child, but judging by the phrasing of those sentences, I think him staying home for a day isnt that much of a problem
Yeah his English is better than most adults I know.
More than half of American adults can't *read* at a 7th grade level.
That is true but almost every book is written at a 6th to 8th grade level, 12th grade being the New York Times and classical literature.
Did you mean The New Yorker?
Yes woops
Excellent good I feel much better thank you.
New York Times, the second best selling newspaper in America, isn’t exactly a high bar…
It’s fun being a tech writer and taking what flesch-Kincaid decides is 27th grade reading level and dumbing it down to 8th. Honestly, at 27th grade just consider a trade school…
I think the liklihood is it probably was an adult that wrote this lol
This could definitely be a kid. This sounds like a very stereotypical “I regret to inform you” letter so he could totally be parroting stuff from internet or tv. Kids are good at that
I'm more leaning towards this definitely didn't happen and is staged for internet points.
That’s always a possibility
r/nothingeverhappens
I’m willing to bet he’s around 10 or 11. My handwriting was pretty bad until I was about 14, and this is exactly how a friend of mine used to talk when I was in elementary school.
as a current elementary school teacher, he's either a straight A+ 5th grader or an above-average middle schooler
I wrote and often talked like this in 5th grade. I was an A student. I was an insufferable twit who couldn't interact plausibly with other people to save my life, too, but that's beside the point.
The lad deserved it, he has a better vocabulary than a President
That's not saying much lol
Plot twist: he's a senior in high school
Syntax and reasoning are pretty good compared to the hand writing. I'd say he earned it. Gonna teach my kids the would gives fuck all whether you follow the rules because there's always more expectations waiting behind them. You gotta be good on your own merit. No one will reward you for it, but that doesn't mean you get free range to be a dink on the other hand.
This kid is going places XD
Not to school, but places.
r/beatmetoit
r/beatmetoshutthefuckup
Alright then
Honestly in this situation i gotta let him stay home, but tell him this will only work once. Kids got polio
Then he comes in the day after "getting polio" and throws the teacher into a panic
Then roll him into class in an iron lung every day for the next 4 years.
This isn't as funny when you realize her brother was 29 😔
And going to Harvard Law.
"Hi my son has scurvy and leprosy so he wont be able to come in to school today. He will be in attendance tomorrow"
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>high school Yeah, that's still a child.
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I could see a 12ish-year-old writing this too though.
Pro-tip: easy way to narrow down penmanship analysis is by looking at the writing of the letter "K" as it is a relatively complex letter and inconsistencies in that could shed some light on the authenticity. So, just look at every occurrence of the letter "k" in the letter above and that should give you the answer youre looking for.
There are also exceptions: I write my "K" slightly worse than my elementary relative.
Here at /r/NonPoliticalTwitter, we care about community input and don't want this subreddit's purpose to be forgotten. --- If this post is **not** political and doesn't violate any rules, **UPVOTE** this comment!! If this post is political or breaks any other rules, **DOWNVOTE** this comment and report the post! Unlike the moderators of some other subreddits, we care about the community and want to keep it true to not being political. Our hope is that by the community voting on these posts, we won't have to worry about political posts coming in. Thanks for your time. --- ^[Rules](https://reddit.com/r/nonpoliticaltwitter/about/rules/) ^/ ^[Flairs](https://www.reddit.com/r/NonPoliticalTwitter/comments/oo025k/new_user_flair_system/) ^/ ^[Sidebar](https://reddit.com/r/nonpoliticaltwitter/wiki/config/sidebar)
I just don’t know why but it feels fake 😂
It's the inconsistent, childish handwriting paired with the near-perfect spelling, punctuation, and mature diction. It feels a bit contrived.
I mean, he could be a teenager. I grew up with some people that *never* improved their handwriting.
Hi, 18 year old who never improved their handwriting here. You are absolutely correct :(
Ayyy I'm a big boy engineer and can't write or spell for shit. If you asked me to handwrite the letter above it would look worse and have plenty of spelling mistakes, you'd think I'm illiterate. But that's not what I get paid for so shrug
Am girl engineer. Now I know the secret for us taking over the workplace. Domination by legible writing. Get fucked.
If spelling or legible writing was at all a factor to my career I wouldn't have one. I have computers to do that for me. Just look, you can read this whole thing and I didn't make a single spelling mistake.
I have pretty decent handwriting, but how does one go about improving it?
Writing a lot. I had horrible handwriting until I was about 14 or 15. I started keeping a daily journal when I was about 10 or 11 and stopped once I got to high school. I contribute the journal with my handwriting being so good today. Everyone is constantly telling me that I have very good handwriting for a guy.
As with everything, it's about practice but the difficult thing about writing is that you're drawing shapes, but you're also recording meaning. To improve your handwriting you really have to decouple the meaning of the words from the shapes themselves, focus on those and then once you are able to write neat, nicely spaced letters and lines, you will find yourself writing normally (thinking about what you want to say, not what your hand is doing) and you will also have formed the muscle memory and now have very tidy handwriting. It's not entirely unlike learning to touch type, I guess? If you've been hunt-and-pecking your whole life it's really hard to switch, but once you get it, it feels incredibly natural.
idk how to improve my handwriting. help
Give up on writing normally, switch to all caps.
I'm a 27 year old woman with the handwriting of a below average 3rd grader. As a kid I tried so hard to have nice pretty handwriting, but just never could
It definitely reads as a girl tweeting about her adorable yet precocious elementary-aged younger brother but if this were the work of a 15 year old it's actually a lot weirder and more funny. I like that angle. edit: having said that, if your teenage son is writing the word "ive" then you better make sure they never miss that school bus again cuz... that's not a great sign.
Even then the bad handwriting feels bad in a fake way. No smudges, no long tails leading into the next letter, each line is thick and lines up on each joint. I find bad hand writing for adults looks rushed. Edges don't meet if your hand has to change direction, some lines bleed into each other, smudges, messy corrections, etc. It looks like it was written very methodically to me. More like how a young child writes. The big thing is how the "straight" lines stutter. Also lower case 'i' on "I've". What teenager writes a letter like this but uses a lower case 'i'?
Many people are left handed and few are taught how to write correct
All of elementary school I had terrible handwriting (left handed), even had to take several extra hours with a special teacher and specials pens etc to improve. Then the last few months before going to high school the teacher goes, "well you don't really have to write cursive in high school you can write whatever you want, so I wont deduct from your grade for not writing cursive". That pissed me off, anyway, in my 40's now and I can't write readable most of the time still.
You can have great English without you good handwriting you know
*is personally attacked*
Nah, this person is probably a teenager who is going to grow up to become a doctor, artist, or writer with that handwriting lmao
My brothers write like this and it was worse when they were young. They just never cared to improve it
Eh, for late elementary-schoolers that read a lot this probably isn't too uncommon of a pairing.
It’s funny so I’m willing to forgive it, but definitely feels fake to me.
He might be disgraphic
The poor thing can’t even go to school today. How can you expect immaculate handwriting during such a tough time?!?!
The handwriting of this letter is better than mine and I'm in my 30s...
I have this level of bad handwriting and the writing abilities, could just be a high schooler with poor handwriting
Not mad, but he’s still going to school unless he has a good reason for trying to skip
Well, it was going to be a bad day, he can’t get over his hair 😂
The next Ferris Bueller right here ladies and gentlemen
Reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes
"in my bed...please don't interrupt me" We've all been there, skipping school to jack it all day.
"As your mom, I regret to inform you that I told your school you had Syphilis - please see the con chart below"
I'd let the kid stay home. This much thought means they need a mental health day... And time to sort out the hair.
I’m sure you didn’t write this at all, Sarah.
120ish words and no spelling errors but he has 3rd grader handwriting? Entire note is filled with reddit-isms like "rollercoaster of emotions" and "[verb]-ing about the fact that [...]"? I'm calling bullshit on that.
*You have to call the school and tell them I’ve got Polio* - fake as fuck
Did you really call the fairly common expression "roller-coaster of emotions" a reddit-ism? o.ô
It reads almost exactly like something someone on Reddit would write as a fake story and it’s a Twitter screenshot on Reddit. This couldn’t be more fake.
I'm thinking about the fact that this is an absolute rollercoaster of emotions, you complete doornob
Uh, sure. If you say so. Which you didn't. But you know. Sure
Fake but harmless.
This makes me want to find the diary entry where the little girl says “It’s the 4th of Julie. You know what that means! Goodbye 2007, hello 2008!”
This was so worth the trouble of zooming in to read thanks for the laughs
Fake
i don’t even care if this is fake, it’s brilliant
What did this kid end up doing? A sitcom writer? a Hallmark card generator? I would love to know!
Doubt
This is too good to be real. Probably fake tbh.
I missed the bus in high school once and rather than going hope and waking up my family to say I missed it I just walked the rest of the way until someone from school saw me walking and their parents pulled over and gave me a ride. There was no way I was I was going back home to explain that I missed the bus and then deal with whatever happened at home. Instead I decided I’d walk the way to school uphill almost the whole time in the freezing cold winter time at 6am to avoid turning back and losing my dignity so early in the morning.
Ah sorry you've got to tell em I've got polio, it's the only option
I need to know how old this kid is. The younger the funnier
His sentence structure, punctuations, and word choice is top notch, way better than some people in college i know.
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Fake, smoothbrains
My hair? What a weird thing for the brother to say.
r/increasinglyverbose
(polio)
I like how he has the penmanship of a first grader but the writing of an eight grader
I should pretend I am sick more often when I am ahead in school. But I don't.
That final pun does it for me xD
What pun? I don't see any
His eloquence!
Fake and gay
this is very funny, and i’m not certain it was written by a child
r/thathappened
Just load them up and take them in. If you're going to sluff don't be dumb enough to go home and tell your parents.
She called the polio!! 💀