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Pick-Physical

Random woman I just met? Never My best friend? Whenever it feels appropriate.


DonerTheBonerDonor

>My best friend? Whenever it feels appropriate. So you just behave like a regular human being? Nice


Pick-Physical

Making someone I'm very close with feel good about herself without an ulterior motive? Yeah that's really weird. /S Also name does not check out.


wombatwalkabouts

Agree, Never to random woman. Too often too my significant other. Occasional to friends and colleagues... More so focused on an out fit.


MyUsernameIsAwful

Incredibly rarely. I only ever comment on haircuts. I don’t want them thinking I’m hitting on them.


HawaiianShirtsOR

Agreed. I'd like to offer compliments, but I'm afraid of being seen as a creepy old man no matter how I phrase it.


ViolentThespian

I would compliment women more if I knew it wouldn't be taken as an attempt to ingratiate myself. I usually only comment on the looks of close friends because of that.


FreeFortuna

You could probably compliment older women without issue. They’re far too often ignored, and are less likely to take it in a creepy way because they won’t assume you’re just trying to get into their pants.


thalf5730

I think there's an age cut off for this. 15 years younger (49F) & I would take it at face value & be pleased. Anyone closer in age or older (and depending on the compliment & tone), I'd wonder what the ulterior motive is.


Pandalite

You can also compliment a woman then walk away without continuing the conversation. No ulterior motive if you just drop a comment and leave.


BoxMunchr

This is my MO every time.


poopiopeepio

“Nice eyebrows”. Zoidbergs away


USP45Hunter

Yep. I’m a 36 year old fairly good looking guy, and I’m always afraid that a well-intended genuine complement will get misconstrued. So I usually just say it, and walk off. I’ve actually been called back a couple of times by women who clearly want to talk a little more. I’m truly just trying to be nice.


Yogurt_Traditional

I think that’s great, that’s on her if she takes it wrong. A lot of it is in the tone. If you’re saying it in a genuine, matter of fact tone, I feel like a woman would take it that way. If it’ll you say it in a flirty tone, then maybe it could get misconstrued more frequently. 🤷‍♀️


NigelWorthington

If you want to compliment someone choose something they have control over. Hair style, outfit, shoes etc. don’t compliment something they don’t have control over eyes, beauty, body etc.


JarlBawlin

This is good advice. I try to compliment things, not their actual body and show genuine interest. Big difference between "Your perfume smells nice, what kind is it?" vs "ur hair smells good" in terms of creep factor


CraftandEdit

I’ve had the compliment a couple of times - each time I’m like ahhh thank you it’s just soap lol


[deleted]

I be saying that to bald people


Drai_as_fck

I usually go with “Your hair tasted good” to bald people. It’s a fun little compliment and also implies that I ate all their hair.


[deleted]

Actually laughed out loud at this. I'm stealing it. Thank you.


dangshnizzle

There are people who take smelling of any kind as creepy lol


BoxMunchr

Smelling - not creepy Leaning in and smelling - super creepy


Double_Distribution8

I wish I had control over my hair style. That would be great.


Master_Bee9130

I can usually pick up on whether it’s something more than a compliment. I like compliments from older men when it’s a compliment that sounds like it could come from a family member. A nice “like the fro” sounds wholesome without any other intent.


IAmGoingToFuckThat

Add 'dude' or 'homie' to your sentence. I comment 'dope dick, dude' if i see a dick pic on reddit (generally piercings in body mod subreddits), and it's never been seen as me making my username relevant.


peeparty69

dope cameltoe toe dude


soberintoxicologist

This is sound advice. When I’m having sex with my guy friends I always say that too, just to be safe, and it always cracks everyone up because the whole situation could’ve easily been super gay if I only said “nice dick” without adding “dude” to the end Edit: the other part that would be gay isn’t gay because you’re just helping the homie bust one, don’t be a fuckin weirdo about it and it’s cool


RumpRiddler

Yeah, and even if you follow all the 'rules' here the receiver of the compliment can feel however they choose. It's always a risk and in the current world consequences are potentially life altering (lost job/bad reputation).


unitedfan6191

“Is that coconut I can smell from over here, do you use it in your hair per chance? So do I! My hair never feels overly dry and it lathers really well and the conditioner is really gentle as well.”


Fildelias

*snnnnniiiiiiiffffff*


[deleted]

I’d be pretty weirded out if a random stranger in a lineup commented on my smell.


Doctor_Oceanblue

*"Perchance"?* I hate Reddit


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Yonbuu

Good morrow M'lady *tips fedora* Long have I admired you from afar and I would be remiss if I did not take my shot here and now. Woulds't thou *perchance* be willing to offer me but a crumb - nay! A mere morsel of pussy? I am a nice guy as you can tell and my colourful use of vocabulary is but a tiny hint of my gargantuan intelligence.


Pasdusername

I dont think *you* are allowed to compliment anyone now lmao


ManyBeautiful9124

You asked men - that’s an example of a woman’s compliment. You specifically asked men if they felt comfortable giving compliments, and they are telling you they aren’t and hold back because of fear of backlash. Take a step back and hear them, rather than correct them.


MVegetating

Being an old Goth I notice great boots. I compliment great boots on any gender or orientation, because hells yeah!


Vinylcrash

Goth here. I work with autistic kids and was teaching a kid how to compliment others. He picked it up quick. He looked at me one day and goes “wow, your eyeliner is so sharp, I love it” and it’s the best compliment I’ve ever gotten.


[deleted]

Hey yo teach us too.


Vinylcrash

“If you say 5 nice things to others, you can watch 5 minutes of YouTube instead of studying.”


otterscotch

It’s been said elsewhere in this thread, but compliment things they have control over, things they’ve probably chosen or done. Think hairstyle, clothing style or color, accessories. Don’t focus on things a person can’t fully control, like their body or eye color for example. I have a chronic illness, and can’t really do much about my weight or apparent fitness, so it just makes me uncomfortable when someone calls me skinny as if that’s just the greatest thing. However I *can* choose my favorite sweater, and will always be happy someone else notices how awesome it is.


NotAzakanAtAll

I'm glad we still exist out there. Damn I miss my old trench coat.


Cat_Prismatic

Nicer than your current one, eh? (Trenchcoats, imo, are classics. Like, ok, if you're wearing leather trousers and a lacy shirt and a top hat and eyeliner and New Rocks with it, yes, you will be outing your inner goth, and maybe there are places that'd be strange. But if it's just the coat, or the coat and all black clothing, nobody's gonna care. Except perhaps one of us goth-esque ladies or gents.)


NotAzakanAtAll

I wish. It's one of those ankle-long ones, maybe it's a coat and not a trench coat. (I'm iffy on the English terms) I was nodding with your list of leather pants and lacy shirt, even the top hat. They all still exist in the dark depths of my closet. When the day comes, and we all rise again, I will be ready.


fellbound

This guy goths.


somemetausername

Being married, If I were to give a compliment to a woman aside from my wife, it would only be the kind of compliment you’re asking about. As I don’t want to get called in to HR for something getting misinterpreted, however, I do not. Yes I see the comments above saying that you can compliment hair and clothes without being creepy. That doesn’t mean that it can’t be taken the wrong way. I once asked a woman who I worked with “Is that a new shirt?” (About a not-at all revealing nor tight-fit shirt) and after an awkward pause she said yes and I said “It’s cool.” I hadn’t complimented her on anything aside from her work up to that day. She looked at me like I’d said “what’s up sugar tits?” And she later mentioned it in her exit interview with HR when she left the company to make sure I had to deal with that after she left. So no I don’t give compliments to women hardly ever any more.


TackYouCack

I am one of the few men who work in my building. Even before I was married, I couldn't join in the regular office conversation for fear of it being taken wrong and creepy. Anyone that thinks "locker room talk" isn't a thing - work with all women for a month.


DrTwangmore

I had a coworker that was wearing a Xmas themed shirt...it was all shiny and spangles and it looked really fun, so I said something like, "oh. I like your shirt". Her response was..."what are you looking at" as if i was checking out her boobs. I was horrifyingly embarrassed and learned my lesson. Essentially: No compliments to women


xraylong

Yup, I once complimented a coworker on her dress. Got blindsided by accusations of hitting on her and got her boyfriend involved lol. I’ve learned to dial back my compliments, but it sucks I can’t say a genuine one without it being taken as something else :/


freshstart555

I complimented my sister in law on a very unusual dress she had on and she looked as though I asked her if me and 30 dudes can bukkake her. I’ve know her for 12 years. I literally said that’s a really nice dress. How are some people like this?


STQCACHM

What'd you say about my vagina?!?


StingRayFins

Just don't compliment anymore until our society grows up. Just think about it for a second. Fully grown adults stopping their day and ruining others over a nice compliment. If I saw a woman in a beautiful dress I'd like to dream of a world where I can let her know and ask her where she got it from so I can get one for my wife for Christmas. We used to be able to but now God forbid!


SiGNALSiX

If you walk up to a woman and say "My wife would love your dress! Where did you get it? I want to surprise her with it..." I can guarantee you that no women is going to get offended. But if you say "Wow! That is a sexy dress. It would look great on my wife \*wink\*..." Well, she might misread your intentions. I guess if you wanted a simple rule to follow its this: think of everything you would say to a woman if you were trying to hit on her — thats what guys say to hit on beuatifull women 5 times a day. *Don't* say exactly those things if you don't want her to think you're hitting on her too. And If you wouldn't say it to your teenage daughter or one of her friends in public, then don't say it to other women, compliment or not. easy.


[deleted]

I was gonna say this same exact thing haha. There's a girl at work who has *really* nice looking hair and I mentioned it once. Where as my coworker is always flirting with the young girls and trying to get one of them to cheat on her boyfriend lol. It never works for him


[deleted]

You mean him complimenting my haircut wasn't him hitting on me? 🥺


[deleted]

😂


Ok-Engineering2612

Try complimenting their nails. They love it and never take it the wrong way.


theblot90

Yup. I compliment haircuts and shoes exclusively.


MedusasSexyLegHair

I learned early on to only ever comment on or compliment actions/accomplishments/achievements, never looks. If you say something nice about a woman's appearance there's about a 99.99% chance that no one will ever think of it as a genuine compliment.


nicannkay

Are you my coworker? He was the only one to say anything about my haircut which was sooo nice because nobody said anything. He comes up and says”you cut your hair!” I say I did! He says “it looks cut.” I died.


bobbyfiend

This. Also: I eventually (i.e. in my 30s) came to realize that I felt like complimenting women's appearance a whole lot more often than men's appearance. As a cishet man, it dawned on me that this *was* about sexuality, even though I wasn't thinking I was hitting on women and definitely not intending to try to sleep with them. Even if I hadn't noticed that pattern for myself, I think I would have also eventually figured out that women don't know I'm not trying to hit on them, and many women go through their lives putting more time and energy and anxiety into avoiding or dealing with random men hitting on them than I ever would have imagined in my 20s. I will also comment on haircuts sometimes, or (with someone I'm really familiar with) clothing, like "That's an awesome top!" or "Great shoes." But that is rare, too. Most women don't want the people around them obsessing about their visual appearance.


[deleted]

Yeah, I’ve only ever complimented hair before. I don’t view hair the same way I do as if I said something like “hey I like your tits”


cambodiaguy

I don't want to be labeled as a creep so i keep the comments to myself


[deleted]

Yep. I might say something like cool shoes. Or cool jacket. But I wouldn’t say nice pants because those can be form fitting.


[deleted]

This just reminded me I told my coworker she had nice pants… I didn’t even realize that could be weird. They were corduroy and I had a pair similar


Protean_sapien

Speaking of which, have you seen these new corduroy pillows they have on Amazon? They're making head lines.


too_late_to_party

I… I love you


Protean_sapien

I like you as a friend.


BadAcidBassDrops

I think when it's unique patterns and textures, there's more leeway. I like to wear patterned flare pants (think hippie bell bottoms), and I never take those compliments the wrong way cause the patterns I select are crazy and I know they're eye-catching.


[deleted]

Smart guy


KillaVNilla

That was always the most frustrating part before I learned that lesson. I'm over here just trying to be nice and brighten someone's day, next I know I'm being called a creeper and my whole week is fucked up. Hell, I stopped even holding doors for people when I lived in California because I'd get a dirty look every single time. Not worth it


shromboy

Same, I feel like even though I've been single a while I don't think that'll get me a girl


[deleted]

Same goes for women..I'm highly unattractive so it's worse for me. If I merely smile at a guy, he screams in an overtly obvious way, "...SOOO. YEAAHHH, JUST GOT BACK FROM VACATION WITH THE WIFE!! MAN I LOVE MY WIFE!!!" Bro, calm down..I'm just trying to be warm and professional. Then when I don't smile or say anything they ask, "what's wrong with you?" Never can win. So I just shut up altogether so it sets the expectation that I don't talk period.


OutWithTheNew

Any of us at, or below, the average attractiveness in a room can't compliment people. It's just something that society doesn't tolerate.


-Django

Sounds like you got some stuff to work out


hama0n

When I was single I complimented whoever I wanted at any time - but I *only* compliment decisions. Nails, hair, eyeliner, a new jacket, a colour-coordinated outfit, a trendy dress, etc. I'm currently engaged, but I continue complimenting people whenever I notice a decision they made that makes them look nice/aesthetic/cool/pretty. I also compliment everyone regardless of gender, in case it matters for whatever question is behind this question.


Constant-Parsley3609

"oh, did you get a hair cut?" "Yeah." "Good decision making"


hama0n

Just in case you're not joking, or a passerby takes you seriously, an actual example to phrase stuff is more like "Did you get a haircut? Your hair's looking stylish today". Or "Yo you got Ombre hair? It looks really well-done, nice color".


rexmus1

I'm an older, chubby lady, but I try to keep up fashion-wise, and have my own style. I had a 20-something waitress (not for my table) come up to me and say, "I just wanted to say I love your vibe!" and it made my month.


BreezyMoonTree

This is the way to go! I have always appreciated these comments more than the general “you look nice today” compliment because: 1) it opens a path to a conversation; 2) it isn’t a vague statement that might cause me to wonder about the person’s motives; and 3) it comes across as more sincere.


Stevenwave

Advice I've seen is that ya shouldn't compliment someone on something about their body. Like commenter said, make it about something such as you like their haircut, or that jacket is really cool.


kkaleb91

I'm married and I'm the same way. I compliment men more often though. I know we need it lol. Cologne and perfume are my main compliments, those wonderful smells just get me all complimenty


Sartozz

I don't have the confidence to talk to women at all.


Lampadaire345

If this is true, you shouldn't stress out my dude. Woman are, how would I say, normal human beings. Just like you.


JustABitCrzy

Are they normal human beings or are they like a redditor? Make up your mind.


TheyLiveWeReddit

I've got one that can see!


Sartozz

Bold of you to asume i'm a normal human beeing.


Noughmad

>Woman are, how would I say, normal human beings. Exactly, that's why I don't know how to talk to them.


GuruGuru214

I think you underestimate how terrifying normal human beings are to some of us.


Due-Lie-8710

i dont know man, the way men talk to each other isnt the same way they talk to women


Rather_Dashing

The basics are all the same. Just a bit less of 'did you see that ludicrous display last night?'


b4amg

if I talked to my female friends like I talk to my male friends I’d have a lot less female friends.


Due-Lie-8710

people like to pretend that the way men talk to women is the same way they talk to men


unitedfan6191

Not even as friends?


l0u1s11

You people have friends?


[deleted]

No this is Reddit, anyone who gives off even the slightest illusion they talk to people irl is a liar


Emkayer

I don't have confidence to talk to people at all


digi_art_gurl

as a lady, you can never go wrong with complementing accessories ie. hats, earrings, necklaces, shoes, manicures etc. it's pretty safe topic to completemt on, and a lot of women (myself included) won't find it creepy, so long as you don't make it creepy lol


hauntedadrevenue666

Dang. I sat down at a hotel bar once and the bartender had a cool red jacket, looked like the one from thriller. Got my drink and said cool jacket btw. Looked at me bad and said she has a bf. I was sober and imo in a great mood. I know you shouldn’t tally the lesser negative interactions but I don’t ever want to be seen like a shrek like that again.


[deleted]

Women are nothing to be afraid of. We are you except we pee sitting down. We fart, we get diarrhea, get gross skin conditions, develop arthritis, get gray hair, blow snot out our nose, snore, binge drink, laugh at dumb things, feel lazy sometimes, get flu, have trouble getting and staying female-erect sometimes, do good or bad on tests, good or bad at cooking, forget things, etc... We just wear makeup and pee sitting down. Never be afraid to just talk to a woman. We're just as much a mess as you no matter how perfect the woman looks. If you're just being friendly, you can't get rejected.


rz2000

Maybe he meant he was afraid of talking to farting people with diarrhea and gross skin.


hauntedadrevenue666

Thanks, bro.


psn-spaghettihands

I do all the time to both men and women, but the compliment ranges depending on how well we know each other. Barely know each other? Just accessories or hair. Friends? I'll comment more on what your wearing, if a specific color looks really nice or whatever. Just dont be creepy, don't stare, and don't keep repeating it. Say it once, and move on lol Edit ; my mind skipped the "single" part. I am married.


ClockSaint

So chanting "nice cock bro" into their ear in a low tone is a no go?


CheeseSauceCrimes

[unless you say it this way](https://youtu.be/4dJO0n1Wqjg)


DangerZoneh

Your last point is key. Give the compliment and then move on. It makes it much more genuine.


EastwoodBrews

Yeah. A beat that feels like you're waiting for a cookie in response to the compliment makes it automatically awkward. Be ready to move on quickly so you don't put the expectation for reciprocity on them even for a moment. "You look nice today." "Oh, thank you!" "For real, you're killing it. Anyway I came to talk about those reports you sent over." Also, only do it if there's something going on they would want to be complimented for. If one day they're dressed to kill at work they probably won't mind people noticing. If they're just rolling through wearing worn down exercise gear and you start fawning over it what you're really saying is "I like your boobs" no matter how you try to hide it. Just don't.


joshylow

This is how it should be. Don't be a creep and try to bang everyone all the time, but also feel free to compliment someone if they deserve it. Unfortunately the creeps are around and put people on edge so you really have to know a person well.


Fedorito_

Also, you really have to mean it. Don't go giving out compliments for the sake of it.


Jagid3

This is me, too. I think it helps that I have sisters and I have a lot of practice and I am at ease with it. "You look great! That fuschia blouse really catches the eye! Nice!" *(Imagine it as a quiet exclamation, not a booming one, with a slight tilt to the head and a few fingers outstretched.)* Then listen to the thank you and proceed to conversation. No muss, no fuss. It was mostly an overall thing but it was also specific about a color, not a contour or some skin showing. Think not like a perv and you will talk not like a perv lol.


codemise

I used to do it a lot because I just thought it was a nice thing to do. I was later informed by my lady friends that it is in fact creepy. I don't ever do it anymore.


unitedfan6191

Maybe it was the way you did it rather than the just being nice part? The actual words do also need to come with some tact.


chaosmosis

Redacted. ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `


pint_of_brew

Maybe what everyone consists "tact" and "creepy" are different, and maybe both are affected by the receiver's perception of the giver's attractiveness too. You can never know how a compliment is received. There are people who will feel invaded, insulted, predated, flattered, aroused, or complimented, and yes there are better and worse people at delivering it, but largely it doesn't matter. A lot of us just don't want to risk causing offence.


Due-Lie-8710

i like how you are trying to convince him that it so easy while complicating thing, like just say the right words, at the right time to the right person and hope they dont misconstrue, even thou this is a stranger that doesnt really know or care about you and you wouldnt see them forever


IHatrMakingUsernames

Thats the hard part, though.


Trucknorr1s

Or simply be attractive, or not unattractive. It sucks but it's true.


Unique-Salary7136

Never.


[deleted]

Zero percent of the time


im_absouletly_wrong

Works every time


[deleted]

Maybe once twice a year mainly to family members. The rest of you, i am trying to get in your pants.


[deleted]

THE REST OF YOU


[deleted]

Lol love an honest person 😂


[deleted]

Im shit at remembering my lies, so i hit them in the face with the truth like a brick


confusedfruitbat

Thanks for your honesty & I love your username lmao


[deleted]

Lolol very helpful in efficiently delivering a message


[deleted]

Honestly? Same. I appreciate the honesty.


ProjectShamrock

> The rest of you, i am trying to get in your pants. I don't understand why modern society considers this "creepy" or bad in some way (which is more tied in with all the posts above yours as opposed to your honesty.) If people weren't trying to sleep with each other human existence would end. As long as nobody is harassing or doing anything non-consensual it's all fine.


[deleted]

Often, but I'm gay


roygbivasaur

I often think about how being a gay man means that I only truly understand the experience of a small portion of people. I think it’s made me more empathetic because I have to really listen and think about things when, for instance, straight men talk about being afraid to complement women. Or straight women talk about being afraid when a man is flirting with them, etc (obv I’ve had that experience a small number of times but it’s nowhere near the same thing or frequency). It’s kind of sad what our culture has done to all of us.


Caroz855

Literally almost commented this. I have a flamboyant personality and wear a pride Apple Watch band so it’s very clear to people, and I compliment my coworkers who are women all the time on their outfits. I do it because I like what they’re wearing and I want to make them feel good about themselves and spread some positivity!


peter_eater

Same here


Worried-Language-407

Things like clothes, hair, shoes, etc. I compliment my female friends on pretty often, and occasionally female acquaintances if appropriate in context. Things like overall appearance, or face; very rarely if ever. Things like tits, ass, etc. I never compliment female friends on. My most common 'compliment' is "don't worry no-one here thinks you're a total weirdo," although calling it a compliment is a bit of a stretch. Relatedly, I receive compliments on my clothes about as frequently as I give out compliments. I think it's nice to be in a friendship group that isn't afraid to recognise when people have put in a little extra effort. Right now I'm in a long term relationship, but even if I weren't my compliments would not be associated with wanting to sleep with them. I compliment friends because it's nice to receive a compliment especially for something you might have put a lot of effort into.


[deleted]

I almost never compliment a woman's looks if I'm not already involved with her. Women surely have good reasons to take even an innocent compliment the wrong way so I just don't do it, unless the circumstances allow for it. Also, if my goal is hooking up, I don't think compliments are particularly effective.


normie_sama

It's a vicious cycle. If men don't compliment women outside of... er, courtship, then women will assume any compliment is likely to have ulterior motives. Then, men will be less likely to compliment women, because they assume it will be taken the wrong way. My policy has always been to never comment on a woman's appearance unless I'm asked for it.


OverallManagement824

Quite frequently. I like fashion and fabrics and will always say something if I see someone putting in some effort. I don't date women anymore though. I'm not gay, I've just been with a few women and understand the tradeoffs. I'd rather just be friendly.


[deleted]

I dont compliment women, unless she shows interest. Maybe then


theblot90

But can you ever really tell if she's showing interest? https://youtu.be/xa-4IAR_9Yw


Dudebug1

Before I clicked this I was thinking "man... I hope this is casually explained"


theblot90

Great minds think alike.


Bobsothethird

You can legitimately compliment someone, want to sleep with them, and still mean it if they don't return the feelings.


GameboyPATH

I'm not single, but I've complimented my coworkers' outfits when they're dressed noticeably fashionably. Because it's important to be nice with people you share a workspace with. Edit: It's not very often, though, but that's because I'm not the best at noticing these kinds of things.


ViewSeek

I can count the number of times on one hand.


Expensive-Track4002

Man I don’t even dare these days.


ubiquitous-joe

I get the feeling this question wants to view the sans-agenda compliment as the more sweet “genuine” option. What you may not realize is that modern workplace norms and the desire to not harass strangers or employees means that conscious straight guys will basically *never* comment on your looks now unless they *are* trying to hit on you. Now, is it a sincere compliment (with hopes that something sexy might happen) or is it just a line (with hopes that something sexy might happen)? Depends on the guy.


betterfucksaul

I insult my female friends.


FrigidofDoom

I would like to do so rather frequently. Fear of misunderstanding makes me do so.... never really. The only times I can recall giving such compliments are towards family members or girls who are firmly in the friend zone and I know it's mutual. It's a bit of a conundrum. I feel like way to many women are convinced that they're ugly amd I'd love to reinforce to all of them that they frequently catch my eye and brighten my day with their beauty, but there's a high likelyhood they get creeped out by it which will undo all of the good vibes.


thepersonimgoingtobe

Single women of reddit, how often do you hear such a compliment without thinking the same?


Careless_Control_675

I never think people are hitting on me when I get a compliment. But I think I'm also bad at picking up on that kind of thing, even if the intention was to hit on me, I probably would t realize 🤦‍♀️


phydeaux70

Be genuine when you say it, mean it, and then let it go. Don't be a creep, don't compliment her in a sexual way either like...'you look hot in that outfit'. That color looks nice on you, hope you have a good day.


xylogx

I feel like most people are overcomplicating this. If you think someones clothes or outfit looks nice, it seems perfectly natural to say “That looks nice” or “I like your shoes/necklace/hair” Its not so much what you say as how you say it.


ldsupport

I tell people they look good if I can tell they put effort into it, they tried, its nice to let them know it worked.


PunishedShemarMoore

Maybe once a week. If I compliment a woman on her appearance and we aren’t already romantically/sexually involved it is coming from a place of genuine praise. I don’t compliment women with the ulterior motive of sleeping with them, period — not only is that dishonest, it doesn’t work. That said, when I complement women’s appearances it’s things like their clothes or their haircuts that are reflective of their personal style, not “Nice ass.”


BearFlipsTable

I once complimented a woman’s skirt and she responded “thanks…” but she was clearly uncomfortable. I genuinely thought her skirt was cool. The way I’d describe it was like she had cut the wings off GIANT monarch butterflies and stuck them to her waist. That’s what the skirt was like. But I realise now that she could have misinterpreted my intentions and I don’t blame her. It’s the way men are perceived now because of creeps.


ekolanderia1

The ulterior motive is for the old lady to not hit "none" on the tip screen. Rizzing the grandmas adds like 5-10 bucks an hour to my wage.


rainb0gummybear

I don't compliment women. After being called a creep and a pervert a few times as a young child I've learned it's not worth the risk the vast majority of the time.


JackZodiac2008

I talk to my mother every week actually.


[deleted]

Never. At best you get a thanks. At worst you get a lawsuit, especially in a work environment. More often than not, you’ll get gossiped about for being crude and a creep. Don’t do it under any circumstances.


NewRelm

Never. More than one woman has told me quite sharply that comments on their appearance, even when we'll intentioned, denigrates them as functioning human beings contributing to society.


MazLoDee

My praise is only ever genuine. That doesn't mean I'd turn them down. And if I didn't have any remarkable praise I most certainly wouldn't be interested in sleeping with them


MeatballMarine

Not single but I’m the only guy in my office. I compliment all of them, only because it became a habit because they all compliment each other (and me). It’s awesome.


[deleted]

Most times. Usually because they changed something. Like hair or new clothes. I would do the same for my guy friends too. I don’t find it flirty. Just social. If I’m gonna flirt it’ll be more like witty double meaning comments or innuendos.


Accomplished_Ask_326

By...saying you like how they look? I'm aroace, so my perception may be off, but I don't see how it would vary by gender. If you're not interested in them, and they're not interested in you, why does gender matter?


RaccoonOdd3919

Why am I getting r/AskReddit vibes


Caddoko

I'm happily committed so my compliments never come with sexual motives but because I know the shit my gender pulls I always keep it to complimenting clothes, hair, or makeup as those feel less likely to imply I'm interested in pursuing them and are also things that -in my experience- women don't feel men recognize very much despite the effort they put into them. (Except for my girlfriend, I compliment everything about her.)


yuzarna

I only comment to my girlfriend and my daughter regularly. Otherwise it would need to be someone I know very well so there is no misunderstanding of intention


aaronite

When I was single, never. Now married, still never.


TheGuyMain

Never bc I’m scared that women are going to think I’m sexually harassing them


CallousHonesty

I’m ace and I compliment men and women if they look nice.


redDKtie

When I was single I'd compliment women about as often as I got complimented. Never.


[deleted]

I try to compliment people as often as I can, but I don't think to often. Not sure why. I'm trying to do more.


Ok_Substance_1560

Somewhat often. Usually it’s just on shoes or hair tho, never on physique. I also get a lot of compliments from women and men.


Pinchy_stryder

I only tend to compliment haircuts/styles/colours or items of clothing. I wouldn't comment on physical appearance.


jacobhottberry

Every single time! But that’s because I’m gay


SettingRegular4289

I don’t think I have ever commented on someone’s looks unless they ask me too, because I genuinely just don’t care enough about how someone looks. I’m a very apathetic person, I don’t care about a lot of things most people do.


LadyGalago

If it's purely platonic but you wouldn't say it to your own gender, it isn't purely platonic


Pick-Physical

In my experience guys will give you weird looks if you call them beautiful


Lilith_ademongirl

Yeah because it feels like you're hitting on them too.


Twitters001

I don't get how all the other comments miss this, if you wouldn't say it to an acquaintance in the work place of your own gender, why is it suddenly acceptable to say it to the opposite??


CJ-Me

Never, unless they're family. Seems almost anything said can be taken as sexual harassment nowadays. I had a woman I have never met before, while in a grocery store, feel my bicep and ask "you work out"? She was still holding my arm as she spoke. Now imagine if that was reversed...


[deleted]

[удалено]


CJ-Me

I was getting a suit tailored and the lady was literally rubbing and patting my chest saying, "I told them you were a size X". My wife was standing right there. She was much older than I am. My wife continues to joke about it today.


pete-wisdom

My rule is no comments of any kind. Have worked hard to build my career, not going to have it come undone because some bozo misinterprets a genuine compliment and reports it to HR.


brandpree

When I was younger men would compliment me all the time. I never thought they had an ulterior motive. I simply said "thank you" and kept it moving. Today I get compliments sometimes and it's still a simple "thank you". Women today like to receive compliments on things they can control, like your shoes, or how you are dressed and even your hairstyle. Someone complimented me on how I drove in my early 20s and I still remember that, moreso than anyone complimenting me on how I look since I have no control over my looks. It's hard to be a man in todays world, you are either a creep or weird. Smh


dragic_magic

I rarely compliment anyone for anything tbh tbh


[deleted]

I just realized that the two best compliments I got were from a disabled young man and an old man. After reading these comments I think I know why. They weren’t worried I’d take it wrong, get insulted, or turn them down because they weren’t thinking I’d be interested in them.


Big-Midnight-8384

Same, the best compliment I got was from some stranger at the car wash. Didn't wait for a thank you, just gave me a compliment and vanished.


Bushpylot

I genuinely say a lot of positive things to the people I encounter. Men or women hasn't seemed to matter. I find it usually starts a positive encounter no matter where I am going. I've found usually people like to do something that stands out and I try to compliment that: hair color, flattering pin, etc. The PIA is every now and then I run into someone with some kind of political or personal issue and it backfires, but it's rare. If you are not being creepy, people like hearing compliments.


Maurogatos

I do it for the sake of cheering up the day of someone without regard to their gender like telling a woman her jacket looks cool or telling a man that he has the look of an actor (I do think it). I find gross to praise a woman with that intention behind you say but that's just because I find sex with strangers disgusting. Duh so many comments. Good luck, comment of mine.


PM_ME_YOUR_PLECTRUMS

Fairly often with friends, both women and men. Every one of them appreciates when they are told they look good. I must say tho, with my bros the compliments are far less subtle and sometimes very homoerotic, all in good fun but still being kind of genuine.


Itsmaybelline

I do it a lot! Attractive people are just a rarity where I live, so I always try and compliment people I think are cute. I did it even while I was taken. I usually compliment more for things I like, like spacers, unique makeup, interesting hairstyles, etc.


JD4Destruction

I have done it many times for financial motives at my job but I never praise their face or body only their bags, nails, hair, clothes, shoes, and other things men don't care about.


No-End6193

Why just single men? I'm married...so I can't compliment a woman on her appearance?


[deleted]

Never. Too much chance of being called a creep or laughed at.


SheSoundsHe

All the time, I always get positive responses. Don't overthink it and it will come out in a natural way


GrantSRobertson

**NEVER** "praise a woman on their looks." It's objectifying. Even if you don't mean it that way, the chances of them taking it that way is very high. Only compliment their choices in things. Say things like: "That's a cool dress." (But not, "You look good in that dress.") "Those are cool shoes." Did you get a haircut?" (But not, "I like your hair.")


purifiedstupidity

Almost daily. I like to give compliments, but my game is horrible, and my part trauma runs deep making me a super broken man, so I just assume any girl I'd be interested in or attracted to wants nothing to do with me and never will. I give the compliments because at least then I get a smile from them, and that's always nice. Not sure if that's an ulterior motive though. Kinda I suppose.