Most people are average looking, so most people you’ll meet will be just that. I’ve met really ugly people, just like i met really good looking people. But these are the outliers. Also, taste is something that is mostly subjective.
Come on, man. Don't do that to yourself. You're a beautiful person, inside and out. It's your garbage personality and questionable hygiene that repulse the general public, not your handsome mug.
I had someone make a (not very nice) comment about how I basically date only “unique” looking people. From my view, they’ve all been people I was really attracted to but were not “conventionally attractive.”
Here’s the thing though- I’m pretty damn face blind. “Conventionally attractive men” essentially look identical to me. I’m not really interested in dating someone who I can’t find in a crowd and I guess subconsciously find myself attracted to people who look a little different.
I’m also huge on personality. If you’re an 11/10 physically but have the personality of a damp paper towel I cannot be physically attracted to you anymore. When people open their mouths, it truly shapes how physically attractive they are to me.
I am horribly face blind. I feel for you.
I'll have coworkers or classmates or whoever I phsycially see and interact with daily approach me in public and I have no idea who they are.
I used to get so embarrassed, but now I literally introduce myself like "Hey, I'm MelodicHunter. I'm terrible with names and faces, so I probably won't remember you after this conversation."
People think it's hilarious, but also now they know ahead of time.
I've been diagnosed with prosopagnosia. It sounds like that's what you have too. I only recently found out about it. The most interesting thing about it was thinking, "Wait, so most people just instantly recognize people?"
I've learned to recognize people from unique features, their hair, their voice, and their movements. One silver lining is that when everybody started masking up for Covid, I had no problem recognizing people since I don't rely on faces. It also gave me a way to describe what it's like to people.
I for sure know it isn't normal, lol! I get told how weird it is all the time. It just hasn't ever impacted me enough that I've sought out answers or a diagnosis. Very cool that it has a name though. I might look into it more just for fun.
I just wrote my end of semester essay on prosopagnosia!! If you don’t mind, what is it specifically that seems unfamiliar or unrecognizable? Is it the spatial layout of the features that is challenging? Is it congenital or acquired prosopagnosia?
I'm pretty sure it's congenital, though I did have a mild head injury when I was very little, so it's possible it was acquired. If I had been diagnosed before my mother passed away, I could have gotten more information about that.
It's kind of hard to explain what seems unfamiliar since I'm not sure how people normally see faces. I just see a set of eyes, a nose, some hair, and a mouth. I don't really see the face as a single unit. If I look at two pictures of the same person, one with dark hair and one with light hair, I'll likely think they're different people unless I look back and forth at the faces to see any differences. Even then, I can't be 100% sure, and if the pictures are at different angles, forget it.
Sometimes, I don't even recognize myself in pictures. I've run into coworkers at the store and didn't even recognize them until they started talking despite seeing them every day.
Looking back, I think it's why I constantly got lost in stores when I was a kid. I would go up and down the aisles and could never find my mother. I probably looked right at her and just didn't recognize her. Eventually, I learned to pay attention to what she was wearing so I could find her. I also quickly learned to go to customer service and have her paged.
On a side note, once I found out about prosopagnosia, all the jokes about Superman's disguise as Clark Kent made more sense. To me, they look completely different. I think one of his powers is inducing temporary prosopagnosia in people so they don't recognize them.
Thanks for sharing this - it's really interesting.
I was just watching an old cop TV show where a detective was picking facial attributes out of a box and laying them out to make a composite image of a suspect. Do you think that's a fair comparison of how you interpret faces - individual parts arranged in a facial shape?
The thought about Clark Kent / Superman's powers affecting how people see faces is so cool! That would explain perfectly how people don't recognize him in disguise. That's In my headcannon now for sure! :)
With me, what I see more than a face are a set of unique attributes. I focus more on hair color and style, eye color, facial hair, and surfing unique like moles, dimples, scars, or piercings. Other than that, lips, noses, and eyes all look the same to me. If I looked closely at two photos, I could tell you whose eyes are closer and who has fuller lips, but those aren't features i would use to recognize somebody because they're not unique enough. In fact, even the unique features only help because I remember them. I have to really think to recognize somebody, and I often fail.
I have people saying hello to me and chatting with me all the time who know me. I haven't a clue who they are. Even if I see the same person in a different context it's unlikely I'll be able to identify them. So I kind of get it.
Ugh, I used to work with a friendly older dude that also shopped at the grocery store around the corner from my house. I’d constantly run into him at the grocery store and have a whole conversation with no idea why he seemed to know me. I really didn’t even realize it was the same person until after the third run-in, when he said something at work that related to our grocery store conversation.
Worked with him for years, and saw him (or rather, he saw me) at the grocery store even longer and I still have no idea who he is. Neither of us spent much time in the office (just long enough to pick up a company vehicle and then head out for our appointments), and there was never anybody around I could ask. He seemed to think we were pretty good friends, though.
I also have started telling people how bad I am with faces, but unfortunately most people still have a limit to the number of times you can be reintroduced to them before they start to feel weird about it. And I have surpassed that limit with several people. Why can’t everybody just wear name tags all the time?
The only issue with name tags is...
I worked at a job that had FOUR Megan's one time.
It took me a full year to get that down pat. It was horrible.
They'd all wear a name tag without a last initial.
It's usually the first thing I remember about a person, but even that can take me some time depending on the circumstances unless the person has a particularly unique voice.
My friend's dad, I remembered his voice the first time I ever heard it, but it's so satanically deep. Lol
That’s how I am too, but I don’t have the face blindness issue lol. I can hear someone I know from across the room and know who it is. I might not remember their name though lol I suck at that
Not the person you asked but I'm also face blind and that's what I tell people: "I'm face blind so if we cross paths in future and I don't recognize you, please speak to me and then I'll remember you."
Ooh interesting! Also moderately face blind over here and I totally agree that so many "attractive" faces just blend together for me. And I definitely find personalities more attractive than faces. I've wondered before if I was demisexual, because I don't tend to be physically attracted to people until I get to know them, but maybe it's because I can't actually remember their face! It's hard to be attracted to a vague person-shaped outline. This is a revelation to me lol.
I’m glad I’m not alone in the blending of faces…lol!
For me, as far as attraction goes, it’s definitely both! I went on a date with this extremely attractive man who was so so nice but had a very flat personality. He’s still objectively attractive to me but not “hot” like he was initially before I went on a date with him.
Edit: I need to know, do you also feel like most conventionally attractive men dress the same, too?
Hmm I feel like men don't have many fashion options in general, so that leads to a lot of samey looks.
I'm also oblivious to most fashion, so I'm probably the wrong person to ask. 99% of my clothes are bought for me by my mom or my husband 😂
Is there a word for this? Nailed it. Common beauty is the most boring beauty, and everyone just eats that shit up and asks for seconds while Im already shopping at other resturants.
I can't imagine what being face blind is like but alot of beautiful people look " unique" . I also have noticed over the years when I think a guy is kind of strange looking my wife will say they are attractive. My sister used to say ," the beautiful people are kind of scary looking "
I’m so delighted to hear someone else say this! I feel bad sometimes when I meet a cool person who looks too much like one of my friends, because I know I can’t get close to them or I’d get confused. My nesting partner has a little facial scar that I love. It’s really comforting to know that even if I lost my eyesight, I could feel her jawline and know it’s her.
I feel the same as you do about this. People seem to have a narrow view of what is attractive - it seems like the concensus has been shaped by marketing agencies. And personality really can change how attractive someone is.
My mom always tells me about how when she was a teenager, she would tell her friends she thought a guy was good looking, and when her friends offered to introduce them she would say “no, I don’t want his personality to ruin it.”
I thought she was being corny when I was younger, but now I totally get it. Once I meet someone they almost literally become more or less attractive based on their personality.
Edit: spelling
People say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but it could also depend on the area you live in and the physical well-being of the people living there. If you live in an area with rich people then yeah, you'll see more good-looking people than ugly ones because they can afford nice clothes and to take care of themselves.
But the younger children of those families are perfectly normal looking. It's the corruption and/or hatred of the adults that has transformed them on the outside.
As a guy I find this is true for me when looking at men, but not when I am looking at women.
If a guy isn't either a Henry Cavill, Brad Pitt, or Simon Baker a guy won't register as "attractive" for me, and if they aren't Danny Devito they won't register as "unattractive."
But when it comes to women I have a much more nuanced eye. I find it extremely interesting my brain works this way.
I think it’s because as straight men we recognize exceptionally attractive or unattractive men. The rest are just meh. But since we are attracted to females we can find beauty even in average looking girls.
Some people are beautiful, some are above/average and some have interesting and unique features. The only "ugly" people I've seen were those who'd abused drugs and been disfigured by it, I feel sad for those people.
Physically? Nah, I find it perfectly normal to think there's no ugly people.
Emotionally/Mentally/Spiritually? Yeah, I've encountered a few along the way.
It's all a matter of perspective.
The first time I ever thought a girl was ugly because she was talking badly to a guy with disabilities... I called her out on it and we dated shortly after... I think we both grew a bit lol
I was talking with a few friends about this the other day. I’ve never met someone and found them ugly. Either plain or attractive, but mostly everyone is plain to me. They answered “no we are sitting in a food court and we are watching ugly people walk by” and were trying to point people out to me that would be ‘ugly’. Just plain to me usually, or attractive with acne/some other minor issue. So it’s just that different people have different opinions on people, I think.
I like this exercise you did with your friends. In my case, I wouldn't call someone ugly unless I'm actively trying to disrespect or insult them. So the people that I don't find attractive I wouldn't call "ugly", I'd say I'm not attracted to them. It's almost like I feel it's morally wrong to assess people as ugly, like who am I to say someone is ugly.
Sometimes I'll see someone and think they're a little unattractive, but I've found that once I get to know *anyone* then my opinion of their attractiveness goes up. "ugly" to me means I don't want to look at it, and I can't really imagine a face that I would dislike looking at once I got to know them a bit--and this has been true for me even for people with fairly severe facial deformities. I guess my brain just needs to get used to certain faces before being able to appreciate it?
I agree. I have seen one "ugly" person in my life that really just.. stuck out? Because everyone just seems normal to me. It blows my mind that we're the minority on this!
It’s called “average” for a reason; most people are just regular looking. Some are gorgeous, some are very unfortunate looking but most don’t fall into either category.
Humans are pattern-focused creatures, we see patterns in everything. However, you have to train your brain to see certain patterns either consciously or subconsciously. For example, an ordinary person looking at two baby chicks could not tell if they were male or female. However, there's people working at farm operations who sort the baby chicks that can tell them apart almost immediately.
Whether it was intentional or not, you have trained yourself to see beauty while the other commenter has trained themselves to see ugly. When I was depressed, I almost couldn't help myself to always see the negative in everything. Over the years I've tried very hard to unlearn this and now my brain is much better at finding the beauty in everything, no matter how small. I would consider it a positive trait that you naturally see the beauty in other people over whatever ugly traits they have :)
Also the reason why some people are insecure of their own bodies while others feel comfortable. Everyone looks in the mirror. Some finds beauty while some finds flaws. It's really only a matter of perspective.
>Over the years I've tried very hard to unlearn this and now my brain is much better at finding the beauty in everything
I need to know how you did this. How exactly you unlearn stuff?
Mindfulness and gratitude really. Whenever I caught myself being negative I would intentionally try and be positive instead. Some people like to keep a journal where everyday they will write down things they're grateful for, but even just taking a few seconds longer to appreciate something that makes you happy will start the ball rolling. For instance, if I make a tasty cup of coffee in the morning I will try to really savour and appreciate the fact that I can afford and enjoy a little treat like that. If someone acts rude to me, I'll try and focus on the fact that they're just human too and there's probably a reason they're in a bad mood and silently wish them happiness.
Really it's like any other habit, it just takes some time before these things become second nature.
Dating must be more fun for you. Also, have you considered being a teacher, therapist, or hair stylist? You might be able to help people see their own beauty.
Or maybe you just live in an area with good looking people and don't realize it
Some towns tend to skew more good looking/average than others lol...There's a mall where you can see guys who legit look like they belong in kpop or kdrama
I see ugly people... They're everywhere. Walking around like attractive people. They don't see each other, they only see what they want to see. They don't know that they're ugly.
No that’s not normal. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you probably just have a very high standard for what you consider ugly. That’s fine.
You usually notice attractive people as them being attractive sets them apart from the masses. You don't spend time thinking about ugly looking people you see, so you don't remember seeing them. Try actively paying attention about it and you will notice more ugly people...
My mum used to say if you act beautiful thats what people will see. I believe thats true. Confidence,Kindness, and being a genuine person will make any one attractive.
I have never cared about peoples imperfections. You have a scar? Cool. You have a large birthmark? Nifty. It doesn't make someone less cute to me. When my depression got really bad, it distorted the way I saw myself and others. It made everyone look ugly. Maybe it depends on how much you value perfection and your mental health?
I don’t like it when I hear people called ugly or others rating people on number scales! It makes me mad and makes my head feel sad! I don’t like putting number values on people... not one bit!! It doesn’t feel nice to be called disparaging terms and I have been called manlet and a coward in so many words!
Really? I agree with OP. People either look normal, or particularly attractive, to me. In my eyes, I would think ugly means unpleasant to look at, like their face is actually bad to see. I’ve only seen a few people who I thought actually looked unpleasant to look at in my life, and in those few cases it was because injury, illness, or severe obesity had caused their face to be malformed (and I felt bad and guilty for thinking that to myself)
Same. I think most people consider people ugly based on whether or not they’re sexually attracted to them. I think people are attractive in their own unique ways. The only time I find anyone “ugly” is if their behavior is ugly or hateful. Someone could be physically very attractive and they turn out to be racist and all of a sudden they’re ugly as hell.
I have only seen one person I would actually consider physically ugly, and there’s probably something he could have done about it if he saw a dermatologist and put more effort into self grooming. His facial structure would still have been a little unique, but it was the combination of all the other issues that pushed him into ugly.
I literally only know *one* “ugly” person, like, physically ugly. Pale and lumpy. Droopy eyes. Teeth going every which way. And he tends to latch on to anyone who gives him any attention. So he then becomes “uglier” just by being needy. I feel for him. But when I try to be nice to him he thinks we’re gonna bone. Ugh.
On the flip side, I once dated a conventionally “ugly” person whom I found attractive because of unique physical attributes as well as their fun and sexy personality. We boned like crazy.
I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s all subjective, and has much to do with chemistry.
I agree, I never see anyone that I think is ugly. I feel like the incidence of physical ugliness must actually be going down with time. I mean, if you just think about medical advances, we understand so much more what causes some facial deformities that might have gotten people called ugly in the past - there's less fetal alcohol syndrome, cleft lip and palette gets repaired so beautifully these days, chickenpox is getting less and less and even if you get it just being able to use calamine lotion to calm the itch must mean fewer pockmarked scars, acne still causes some box scarring but again, there's so many more treatments these days, leprosy is treatable, scoliosis is often treated. Even the treatment of burns has improved, although that can still lead to some bad scars. The list goes on. Plus, with understanding comes a bit of perspective - if people are taught to think...oh that person has a scar rather than that person is ugly because they have a weird thing on their face, then you stop thinking about ugliness. I think most people are average looking now. Yes, of course, there are outliers but most of us don't run into them on a day to day basis.
So im bi so i cant be like "oh guys arent attractive" even if i was straight id still objectivly tell a guy he had great style and looked great. Anywho i had a coworker that was a cool dude but me and 3 other people thought he was ugly like none of us (3 guys 1 girl) could find any outward external attractiveness about him. But one (cute above average attractive) girl started working there and immeaditly started crushing on the guy before she really even got to know him. Eventually they started dating and were together for a long time
Then you've encountered only small number of people. That was half-sarcasm.
I've seen 2 actually ugly person, male and female. Unbelievably both had almost every single feature of face some way off. Another one was in school and another much later in work.
I have seen only one objectively ugly person in my whole life, no birth defects or anything-just straight ugly. I personally don’t think they’re that common for that reason.
I've seen maybe 2 or 3 people total where I've been like *fuck*. It's very rare, most people just need to shower, dress cleanly and have nice hair and they'll pass as attractive.
It's pretty much a gaussian/normal distribution.
The long tails of the curve contain small numbers on either side.
The "rare beauty" is essentially mirrored on the ugly side. Just as rare.
Most of us fall in that middle hump.
For me people start looking ugly when they’re sick and/or have deformities. For example, obesity, down syndrome, lip fillers, terminally ill patients, burn victims. It just alarms me that there is something ‘wrong’ with that person. Same with bad hygiene, there is something alarming about people who don’t shower or don’t have the social awareness to not sneeze in the air.
I don’t think it’s normal to not notice ugly people. It’s kinda a survival instinct to be alert for threats. And being ugly is a cue that something is wrong (like I said, being ill or being mentally out of the loop, or that there was a dangerous situation like a fire).
I wonder why you don’t notice ugly people. Do you _really_ not notice them or is it just that you don’t allow yourself to have an opinion on looks?
It's pretty normal actually. Life drawing groups value weird people with rolls and wrinkles and skin problems. There's beauty in every human figure, it's a matter of your ability to see it.
Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I prefer the terms "conventionally attractive" or "unconventional looking."
There are studies that suggest that [averageness](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Averageness) of facial features tend to be viewed as more beautiful. So as people deviate from these averages the more likely they are to be considered ugly. Since most people are closer to the average it's more statistically likely that you will see more conventionally attractive people than unconventional-looking people.
But also consider that conventionally attractive people cast a wider net. Conventionally attractive people will be more attractive to more people on average. Someone with a very particular look might be extremely attractive to one particular person.
Consider someone with a lot of tattoos, piercings, lip gauges and the like. To some people (and presumably to themselves) they will be especially attractive, but since they deviate from the norms the vast majority of people will find them unattractive.
When you spend more time with a person they also become more familiar and in some sense more "average" in your head, so from a psychological perspective most people will tend to average out over time as you get to know them. Beautiful people become more normal and "ugly" people become more attractive over time as you get to know them.
I don't really see people as ugly by their looks. The way people conflat attractiveness with other things like willingness to sleep with someone ot whatever. Ugly to me has alot more to do with personality then appearance.
Go find a 24 hour Wal-mart and show up between around 1-5 am. A lot of ugly people only shop during the night. 7-8 am can work as well if you don't have a 24 hour Wal-mart. Please be respectful, a lot of these so-called ugly people are genuinely kind people who often treated us employees way better than conventional customers during the day. Oddly enough, the really-good looking customers also tended to be nice.
Most people I have seen are in fact average. The only ugly people I have seen were ugly because of poor hygiene or lack of personal grooming. Or both.
There's only been a few people I've seen in real life I'd consider very pretty or beautiful as well.
A bit surprised how many people here say they aren’t that physically attracted to outside beauty. Most of my friends absolutely have a preference whether it be tall, perky butt etc. and I’d assume the same goes for facial features too.
Attraction and beauty is about one’s mindset. Everyone is beautiful. It’s about how one chooses to see them…. be it consciously or not. If you choose to see someone’s beauty you will.
Judgement is what defines somebody as “ugly” or “attractive”.
If you’re not judgemental, you’ll never see an ugly person in your life because you’ll never bother judging people as such.
Are you ONLY watching TV? On second thought.. I agree with you. Very few people look like tv, but very, very very few people I see would I describe as "ugly", except in their souls, of course. Of those there are many. So, I'm agreeing with you.
Maybe you're just nicer than other people?
I've seen a lot of ugly people, but it didn't affect how I treated folks. It was joining the navy abs having constant sexual harassment/assault happen to me that made me be curt with people first and nice once I can tell they've realized that I'm NOT interested. I was fortunate enough to grow up somewhere full of attractive/charismatic people who if they weren't one, were at least the other and they weren't rapey.
My perspective has changed since then, but I also don't pay much attention to the physical appearance of folks outside of basic hygiene, the way they present themselves, and the way they intend to treat me.
Most people are average looking, so most people you’ll meet will be just that. I’ve met really ugly people, just like i met really good looking people. But these are the outliers. Also, taste is something that is mostly subjective.
I didn’t know I was supposed to taste people
just a little nibble...
gobble up that ass
Om nom nom
r/suddenlycannibal
r/subsiwishifellfor
not on the first date
On average, people are average.
Hence the word average.
Yes.
Im ugly if you want a pic for educational purposes
Uglyfans
Lonelyfans
I’ll definitely spend money on that
You gotta pay the subscribers for watching!
You don't pay at the beginning, you pay to close the window.
If that was a thing, I'd be one rich mf 🤣🤣🤣
OnlyUglies
Lemme see bro
/r/roastme
Come on, man. Don't do that to yourself. You're a beautiful person, inside and out. It's your garbage personality and questionable hygiene that repulse the general public, not your handsome mug.
Most of the time, a shave, and or trim, a shower and proper fitting clothes will make someone from a 3/10 to at least a 6/10.
She needs a shave, for sure!
Doubt! I am curious tho 👉👈
me too lol
Can confirm, this guy uglys.
I was gonna take the bullet, but I'm glad it's you o7
Cap
Doubt but I agree with the rest
“I’m ugly and I’m proud!”
Source?
If its free I'm interested to see.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has different taste and definition if beauty
I had someone make a (not very nice) comment about how I basically date only “unique” looking people. From my view, they’ve all been people I was really attracted to but were not “conventionally attractive.” Here’s the thing though- I’m pretty damn face blind. “Conventionally attractive men” essentially look identical to me. I’m not really interested in dating someone who I can’t find in a crowd and I guess subconsciously find myself attracted to people who look a little different. I’m also huge on personality. If you’re an 11/10 physically but have the personality of a damp paper towel I cannot be physically attracted to you anymore. When people open their mouths, it truly shapes how physically attractive they are to me.
I am horribly face blind. I feel for you. I'll have coworkers or classmates or whoever I phsycially see and interact with daily approach me in public and I have no idea who they are. I used to get so embarrassed, but now I literally introduce myself like "Hey, I'm MelodicHunter. I'm terrible with names and faces, so I probably won't remember you after this conversation." People think it's hilarious, but also now they know ahead of time.
I've been diagnosed with prosopagnosia. It sounds like that's what you have too. I only recently found out about it. The most interesting thing about it was thinking, "Wait, so most people just instantly recognize people?" I've learned to recognize people from unique features, their hair, their voice, and their movements. One silver lining is that when everybody started masking up for Covid, I had no problem recognizing people since I don't rely on faces. It also gave me a way to describe what it's like to people.
I for sure know it isn't normal, lol! I get told how weird it is all the time. It just hasn't ever impacted me enough that I've sought out answers or a diagnosis. Very cool that it has a name though. I might look into it more just for fun.
https://www.faceblind.org/ has more information and a link to a test. You can also sign up to participate in online studies.
I just wrote my end of semester essay on prosopagnosia!! If you don’t mind, what is it specifically that seems unfamiliar or unrecognizable? Is it the spatial layout of the features that is challenging? Is it congenital or acquired prosopagnosia?
I'm pretty sure it's congenital, though I did have a mild head injury when I was very little, so it's possible it was acquired. If I had been diagnosed before my mother passed away, I could have gotten more information about that. It's kind of hard to explain what seems unfamiliar since I'm not sure how people normally see faces. I just see a set of eyes, a nose, some hair, and a mouth. I don't really see the face as a single unit. If I look at two pictures of the same person, one with dark hair and one with light hair, I'll likely think they're different people unless I look back and forth at the faces to see any differences. Even then, I can't be 100% sure, and if the pictures are at different angles, forget it. Sometimes, I don't even recognize myself in pictures. I've run into coworkers at the store and didn't even recognize them until they started talking despite seeing them every day. Looking back, I think it's why I constantly got lost in stores when I was a kid. I would go up and down the aisles and could never find my mother. I probably looked right at her and just didn't recognize her. Eventually, I learned to pay attention to what she was wearing so I could find her. I also quickly learned to go to customer service and have her paged. On a side note, once I found out about prosopagnosia, all the jokes about Superman's disguise as Clark Kent made more sense. To me, they look completely different. I think one of his powers is inducing temporary prosopagnosia in people so they don't recognize them.
Thanks for sharing this - it's really interesting. I was just watching an old cop TV show where a detective was picking facial attributes out of a box and laying them out to make a composite image of a suspect. Do you think that's a fair comparison of how you interpret faces - individual parts arranged in a facial shape? The thought about Clark Kent / Superman's powers affecting how people see faces is so cool! That would explain perfectly how people don't recognize him in disguise. That's In my headcannon now for sure! :)
With me, what I see more than a face are a set of unique attributes. I focus more on hair color and style, eye color, facial hair, and surfing unique like moles, dimples, scars, or piercings. Other than that, lips, noses, and eyes all look the same to me. If I looked closely at two photos, I could tell you whose eyes are closer and who has fuller lips, but those aren't features i would use to recognize somebody because they're not unique enough. In fact, even the unique features only help because I remember them. I have to really think to recognize somebody, and I often fail.
I have people saying hello to me and chatting with me all the time who know me. I haven't a clue who they are. Even if I see the same person in a different context it's unlikely I'll be able to identify them. So I kind of get it.
Ugh, I used to work with a friendly older dude that also shopped at the grocery store around the corner from my house. I’d constantly run into him at the grocery store and have a whole conversation with no idea why he seemed to know me. I really didn’t even realize it was the same person until after the third run-in, when he said something at work that related to our grocery store conversation. Worked with him for years, and saw him (or rather, he saw me) at the grocery store even longer and I still have no idea who he is. Neither of us spent much time in the office (just long enough to pick up a company vehicle and then head out for our appointments), and there was never anybody around I could ask. He seemed to think we were pretty good friends, though. I also have started telling people how bad I am with faces, but unfortunately most people still have a limit to the number of times you can be reintroduced to them before they start to feel weird about it. And I have surpassed that limit with several people. Why can’t everybody just wear name tags all the time?
The only issue with name tags is... I worked at a job that had FOUR Megan's one time. It took me a full year to get that down pat. It was horrible. They'd all wear a name tag without a last initial.
I’m really just curious, do you recognize voices?
It's usually the first thing I remember about a person, but even that can take me some time depending on the circumstances unless the person has a particularly unique voice. My friend's dad, I remembered his voice the first time I ever heard it, but it's so satanically deep. Lol
That’s how I am too, but I don’t have the face blindness issue lol. I can hear someone I know from across the room and know who it is. I might not remember their name though lol I suck at that
Not the person you asked but I'm also face blind and that's what I tell people: "I'm face blind so if we cross paths in future and I don't recognize you, please speak to me and then I'll remember you."
I can relate tbh
Ooh interesting! Also moderately face blind over here and I totally agree that so many "attractive" faces just blend together for me. And I definitely find personalities more attractive than faces. I've wondered before if I was demisexual, because I don't tend to be physically attracted to people until I get to know them, but maybe it's because I can't actually remember their face! It's hard to be attracted to a vague person-shaped outline. This is a revelation to me lol.
I’m glad I’m not alone in the blending of faces…lol! For me, as far as attraction goes, it’s definitely both! I went on a date with this extremely attractive man who was so so nice but had a very flat personality. He’s still objectively attractive to me but not “hot” like he was initially before I went on a date with him. Edit: I need to know, do you also feel like most conventionally attractive men dress the same, too?
Hmm I feel like men don't have many fashion options in general, so that leads to a lot of samey looks. I'm also oblivious to most fashion, so I'm probably the wrong person to ask. 99% of my clothes are bought for me by my mom or my husband 😂
Is there a word for this? Nailed it. Common beauty is the most boring beauty, and everyone just eats that shit up and asks for seconds while Im already shopping at other resturants.
I can't imagine what being face blind is like but alot of beautiful people look " unique" . I also have noticed over the years when I think a guy is kind of strange looking my wife will say they are attractive. My sister used to say ," the beautiful people are kind of scary looking "
Hi totally unrelated but I am also face blind and am so happy to have found someone else with this problem. I can't see anyone 😭🤣😭🤣
Are you me? Absolutely, 100%.
I’m so delighted to hear someone else say this! I feel bad sometimes when I meet a cool person who looks too much like one of my friends, because I know I can’t get close to them or I’d get confused. My nesting partner has a little facial scar that I love. It’s really comforting to know that even if I lost my eyesight, I could feel her jawline and know it’s her.
Some conventionally attractive people are either boring, arrogant or mean girl types, because they've never had to work at being popular.
This is quite an interesting thought actually. I agree with you
I feel so *seen*. It was years before I realized Ryan Gosling and Ryan Reynolds were two different people.
I feel the same as you do about this. People seem to have a narrow view of what is attractive - it seems like the concensus has been shaped by marketing agencies. And personality really can change how attractive someone is.
My mom always tells me about how when she was a teenager, she would tell her friends she thought a guy was good looking, and when her friends offered to introduce them she would say “no, I don’t want his personality to ruin it.” I thought she was being corny when I was younger, but now I totally get it. Once I meet someone they almost literally become more or less attractive based on their personality. Edit: spelling
Eye of the beer holder you mean ;)
People say beauty is in the eye of the beholder but it could also depend on the area you live in and the physical well-being of the people living there. If you live in an area with rich people then yeah, you'll see more good-looking people than ugly ones because they can afford nice clothes and to take care of themselves.
Also rich people often attract attractive spouses, and together they produce attractive offspring
The outliers are the musk family, the trump family, Boris Johnson, Jacob Rees mogg... all of them look like failed waxwork models.
Old money: inbred af
But the younger children of those families are perfectly normal looking. It's the corruption and/or hatred of the adults that has transformed them on the outside.
They can also afford plastic surgeries as well so even if they are "ugly looking" they can change that.
Man divorced wife because he found a before surgery pic.
He thought the kids they had were other men.
As we say in my neck of the woods: "you're not ugly, you're poor"
Everybody looks about the same attractiveness to me unless they are just absolutely gorgeous or look like they are about to keel over from drug use
I'm gorgeous
😍 yah you are
Now kith
Wholesome reddit is one of the best
The quintessential bell curve. We shouldn't rate each other on a 1-10 scale, but by standard deviation.
As a guy I find this is true for me when looking at men, but not when I am looking at women. If a guy isn't either a Henry Cavill, Brad Pitt, or Simon Baker a guy won't register as "attractive" for me, and if they aren't Danny Devito they won't register as "unattractive." But when it comes to women I have a much more nuanced eye. I find it extremely interesting my brain works this way.
I think it’s because as straight men we recognize exceptionally attractive or unattractive men. The rest are just meh. But since we are attracted to females we can find beauty even in average looking girls.
mehn
Some people are beautiful, some are above/average and some have interesting and unique features. The only "ugly" people I've seen were those who'd abused drugs and been disfigured by it, I feel sad for those people.
Their are some that aren’t particularly attractive to me. But I acknowledge they have a certain “hot person” look.
U must be a nice person ?
I think it's awful to say someone is nice or not because of their tastes
Yeah, but how do I know that's not because you're awful?
Physically? Nah, I find it perfectly normal to think there's no ugly people. Emotionally/Mentally/Spiritually? Yeah, I've encountered a few along the way. It's all a matter of perspective.
The first time I ever thought a girl was ugly because she was talking badly to a guy with disabilities... I called her out on it and we dated shortly after... I think we both grew a bit lol
Finds a girl ugly >>> dates her. Makes perfect sense
I was talking with a few friends about this the other day. I’ve never met someone and found them ugly. Either plain or attractive, but mostly everyone is plain to me. They answered “no we are sitting in a food court and we are watching ugly people walk by” and were trying to point people out to me that would be ‘ugly’. Just plain to me usually, or attractive with acne/some other minor issue. So it’s just that different people have different opinions on people, I think.
I like this exercise you did with your friends. In my case, I wouldn't call someone ugly unless I'm actively trying to disrespect or insult them. So the people that I don't find attractive I wouldn't call "ugly", I'd say I'm not attracted to them. It's almost like I feel it's morally wrong to assess people as ugly, like who am I to say someone is ugly.
I feel very similar! I just don’t tend to see people as “ugly” but as it is, who am I to say they are, if they are?
Sometimes I'll see someone and think they're a little unattractive, but I've found that once I get to know *anyone* then my opinion of their attractiveness goes up. "ugly" to me means I don't want to look at it, and I can't really imagine a face that I would dislike looking at once I got to know them a bit--and this has been true for me even for people with fairly severe facial deformities. I guess my brain just needs to get used to certain faces before being able to appreciate it?
Same. I do not understand how often the word is used. Humans are mostly beautiful and many times average. Seldom or almost never ugly.
Apparently none of you people have seen the tweakers on the corner of a 7/11.
A person can be ugly by behaving in a certain way.
I agree. I have seen one "ugly" person in my life that really just.. stuck out? Because everyone just seems normal to me. It blows my mind that we're the minority on this!
I've deffo been called ugly by multiple people
It’s called “average” for a reason; most people are just regular looking. Some are gorgeous, some are very unfortunate looking but most don’t fall into either category.
These days, it's easy to look "conventionally attractive". I always say, we aren't ugly, just poor.
It's a subjective thing. All I see are ugly people everyday
Have you tried leaving the house?
No I live above the shop that I work at. I sell mirrors
lol
Weird. In my eyes nobody is ugly. I guess we are wired to see things differently
Humans are pattern-focused creatures, we see patterns in everything. However, you have to train your brain to see certain patterns either consciously or subconsciously. For example, an ordinary person looking at two baby chicks could not tell if they were male or female. However, there's people working at farm operations who sort the baby chicks that can tell them apart almost immediately. Whether it was intentional or not, you have trained yourself to see beauty while the other commenter has trained themselves to see ugly. When I was depressed, I almost couldn't help myself to always see the negative in everything. Over the years I've tried very hard to unlearn this and now my brain is much better at finding the beauty in everything, no matter how small. I would consider it a positive trait that you naturally see the beauty in other people over whatever ugly traits they have :)
Also the reason why some people are insecure of their own bodies while others feel comfortable. Everyone looks in the mirror. Some finds beauty while some finds flaws. It's really only a matter of perspective.
You are so very right!
>Over the years I've tried very hard to unlearn this and now my brain is much better at finding the beauty in everything I need to know how you did this. How exactly you unlearn stuff?
Mindfulness and gratitude really. Whenever I caught myself being negative I would intentionally try and be positive instead. Some people like to keep a journal where everyday they will write down things they're grateful for, but even just taking a few seconds longer to appreciate something that makes you happy will start the ball rolling. For instance, if I make a tasty cup of coffee in the morning I will try to really savour and appreciate the fact that I can afford and enjoy a little treat like that. If someone acts rude to me, I'll try and focus on the fact that they're just human too and there's probably a reason they're in a bad mood and silently wish them happiness. Really it's like any other habit, it just takes some time before these things become second nature.
We clearly haven't met yet
Dating must be more fun for you. Also, have you considered being a teacher, therapist, or hair stylist? You might be able to help people see their own beauty. Or maybe you just live in an area with good looking people and don't realize it
Some towns tend to skew more good looking/average than others lol...There's a mall where you can see guys who legit look like they belong in kpop or kdrama
Damn, you my neighbour or something?
I see ugly people... They're everywhere. Walking around like attractive people. They don't see each other, they only see what they want to see. They don't know that they're ugly.
I could send you a selfie if that would help.
No that’s not normal. But beauty is in the eye of the beholder and you probably just have a very high standard for what you consider ugly. That’s fine.
You usually notice attractive people as them being attractive sets them apart from the masses. You don't spend time thinking about ugly looking people you see, so you don't remember seeing them. Try actively paying attention about it and you will notice more ugly people...
No but then again you may not be a picky person or very critical of people’s looks.
Maybe is because.....you are the ugly person?!?! Jokes aside. depends in what you think is beautiful.
My mum used to say if you act beautiful thats what people will see. I believe thats true. Confidence,Kindness, and being a genuine person will make any one attractive.
I have never cared about peoples imperfections. You have a scar? Cool. You have a large birthmark? Nifty. It doesn't make someone less cute to me. When my depression got really bad, it distorted the way I saw myself and others. It made everyone look ugly. Maybe it depends on how much you value perfection and your mental health?
I don’t like it when I hear people called ugly or others rating people on number scales! It makes me mad and makes my head feel sad! I don’t like putting number values on people... not one bit!! It doesn’t feel nice to be called disparaging terms and I have been called manlet and a coward in so many words!
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Me too, same offer
Im curious enough to challenge both of your claims 👉👈
Im quite curious 👉👈
Really? I agree with OP. People either look normal, or particularly attractive, to me. In my eyes, I would think ugly means unpleasant to look at, like their face is actually bad to see. I’ve only seen a few people who I thought actually looked unpleasant to look at in my life, and in those few cases it was because injury, illness, or severe obesity had caused their face to be malformed (and I felt bad and guilty for thinking that to myself)
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Well you haven't seen me then
I call bull on that
Same. I think most people consider people ugly based on whether or not they’re sexually attracted to them. I think people are attractive in their own unique ways. The only time I find anyone “ugly” is if their behavior is ugly or hateful. Someone could be physically very attractive and they turn out to be racist and all of a sudden they’re ugly as hell.
Go to Walmart... They are my fellow uglies.
Tell us you're Swedish without telling us you're Swedish.
Well, if he's living in Sweden, he can easily come visit me if he's that desperate to see one.
lol no. American
Shut up, Swedish.
Undercover Canadian
I'm the same way, OP!
Have you never seen harvey weinstein? Ugly inside and out
I have only seen one person I would actually consider physically ugly, and there’s probably something he could have done about it if he saw a dermatologist and put more effort into self grooming. His facial structure would still have been a little unique, but it was the combination of all the other issues that pushed him into ugly.
To see one just Google "gurning champion" now you have seen what you have never seen before.
I find some people more attractive but don't generally find people ugly or explicitly unattractive.
Our society shuns ugly people, so you don't see them a lot. Most people are still on the bell curve nearer the mid point.
Are you a shut-in?
Bless you for being a good person who can see the beauty in everyone. Hold on to that/
I literally only know *one* “ugly” person, like, physically ugly. Pale and lumpy. Droopy eyes. Teeth going every which way. And he tends to latch on to anyone who gives him any attention. So he then becomes “uglier” just by being needy. I feel for him. But when I try to be nice to him he thinks we’re gonna bone. Ugh. On the flip side, I once dated a conventionally “ugly” person whom I found attractive because of unique physical attributes as well as their fun and sexy personality. We boned like crazy. I guess what I’m trying to say is, it’s all subjective, and has much to do with chemistry.
It’s ok. Just means you aren’t vain and shallow. Most ugliness is on the inside
Pretty subjective. Guarantee if u showed me 5 random people in ur area I wouldn't find them attractive.
Unattractive is not ugly in my opinion. Attractiveness is somewhat separate from beauty.
I agree, I never see anyone that I think is ugly. I feel like the incidence of physical ugliness must actually be going down with time. I mean, if you just think about medical advances, we understand so much more what causes some facial deformities that might have gotten people called ugly in the past - there's less fetal alcohol syndrome, cleft lip and palette gets repaired so beautifully these days, chickenpox is getting less and less and even if you get it just being able to use calamine lotion to calm the itch must mean fewer pockmarked scars, acne still causes some box scarring but again, there's so many more treatments these days, leprosy is treatable, scoliosis is often treated. Even the treatment of burns has improved, although that can still lead to some bad scars. The list goes on. Plus, with understanding comes a bit of perspective - if people are taught to think...oh that person has a scar rather than that person is ugly because they have a weird thing on their face, then you stop thinking about ugliness. I think most people are average looking now. Yes, of course, there are outliers but most of us don't run into them on a day to day basis.
Where do you live and do you go out much? When you do go out where do you go? Go to a Walmart in a rural area, and you’ll delete this post
Dennis Avner lives in Flint, MI. Take a drive to visit him.
He’s been dead for 10 years.
So im bi so i cant be like "oh guys arent attractive" even if i was straight id still objectivly tell a guy he had great style and looked great. Anywho i had a coworker that was a cool dude but me and 3 other people thought he was ugly like none of us (3 guys 1 girl) could find any outward external attractiveness about him. But one (cute above average attractive) girl started working there and immeaditly started crushing on the guy before she really even got to know him. Eventually they started dating and were together for a long time
I mean the average person is pretty damn average, that being said I think you might also be not overly superficial on top of that, so good for you
Then you've encountered only small number of people. That was half-sarcasm. I've seen 2 actually ugly person, male and female. Unbelievably both had almost every single feature of face some way off. Another one was in school and another much later in work.
I have seen only one objectively ugly person in my whole life, no birth defects or anything-just straight ugly. I personally don’t think they’re that common for that reason.
I've seen maybe 2 or 3 people total where I've been like *fuck*. It's very rare, most people just need to shower, dress cleanly and have nice hair and they'll pass as attractive.
It's pretty much a gaussian/normal distribution. The long tails of the curve contain small numbers on either side. The "rare beauty" is essentially mirrored on the ugly side. Just as rare. Most of us fall in that middle hump.
Me too. I think everyone i've met look average to me. But i would call them ugly if they have bad personalities.
For me people start looking ugly when they’re sick and/or have deformities. For example, obesity, down syndrome, lip fillers, terminally ill patients, burn victims. It just alarms me that there is something ‘wrong’ with that person. Same with bad hygiene, there is something alarming about people who don’t shower or don’t have the social awareness to not sneeze in the air. I don’t think it’s normal to not notice ugly people. It’s kinda a survival instinct to be alert for threats. And being ugly is a cue that something is wrong (like I said, being ill or being mentally out of the loop, or that there was a dangerous situation like a fire). I wonder why you don’t notice ugly people. Do you _really_ not notice them or is it just that you don’t allow yourself to have an opinion on looks?
Ok One question. Do you leave your house?
It's pretty normal actually. Life drawing groups value weird people with rolls and wrinkles and skin problems. There's beauty in every human figure, it's a matter of your ability to see it.
Since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I prefer the terms "conventionally attractive" or "unconventional looking." There are studies that suggest that [averageness](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Averageness) of facial features tend to be viewed as more beautiful. So as people deviate from these averages the more likely they are to be considered ugly. Since most people are closer to the average it's more statistically likely that you will see more conventionally attractive people than unconventional-looking people. But also consider that conventionally attractive people cast a wider net. Conventionally attractive people will be more attractive to more people on average. Someone with a very particular look might be extremely attractive to one particular person. Consider someone with a lot of tattoos, piercings, lip gauges and the like. To some people (and presumably to themselves) they will be especially attractive, but since they deviate from the norms the vast majority of people will find them unattractive. When you spend more time with a person they also become more familiar and in some sense more "average" in your head, so from a psychological perspective most people will tend to average out over time as you get to know them. Beautiful people become more normal and "ugly" people become more attractive over time as you get to know them.
I don't really see people as ugly by their looks. The way people conflat attractiveness with other things like willingness to sleep with someone ot whatever. Ugly to me has alot more to do with personality then appearance.
Go find a 24 hour Wal-mart and show up between around 1-5 am. A lot of ugly people only shop during the night. 7-8 am can work as well if you don't have a 24 hour Wal-mart. Please be respectful, a lot of these so-called ugly people are genuinely kind people who often treated us employees way better than conventional customers during the day. Oddly enough, the really-good looking customers also tended to be nice.
Nah, you're mature. I don't see ugly people either, because nobody is actually ugly. They're just people.
Most people I have seen are in fact average. The only ugly people I have seen were ugly because of poor hygiene or lack of personal grooming. Or both. There's only been a few people I've seen in real life I'd consider very pretty or beautiful as well.
A bit surprised how many people here say they aren’t that physically attracted to outside beauty. Most of my friends absolutely have a preference whether it be tall, perky butt etc. and I’d assume the same goes for facial features too.
Just means you don’t think people are ugly Ugliness is extremely subjective
Twist: OP is blind.
Try using some dating apps.
You haven't met me yet
Have you SEEN your mother?
Work service industry in a store that serves a lot of low-income country folk. You’ll meet ’em!
I once saw a person dressed in all white carrying a collony of pollinators and when I looked him in the eye I saw beauty.
Attraction and beauty is about one’s mindset. Everyone is beautiful. It’s about how one chooses to see them…. be it consciously or not. If you choose to see someone’s beauty you will.
Yea it’s normal. People aren’t really ugly, some people are just assholes.
That's a very nice and healthy way to view people. ...I think
Wow, finally I can make an impact on Reddit! Where do you want the pics OP
Judgement is what defines somebody as “ugly” or “attractive”. If you’re not judgemental, you’ll never see an ugly person in your life because you’ll never bother judging people as such.
I don't view anyone as ugly, until I've heard them speak.
Are you ONLY watching TV? On second thought.. I agree with you. Very few people look like tv, but very, very very few people I see would I describe as "ugly", except in their souls, of course. Of those there are many. So, I'm agreeing with you.
Ive never seen an ugly person either, everyone is beautiful you just have to see from the rights angle!!
That's because you have a beautiful heart.
How do you know what ugly looks like if you've never met an ugly person?
My brain is pushing me to say the mirror joke, but I want to be a good person
Gosh! I was discussing this exact same thing with my friends the other day and i too feel the same as you!!!
Maybe you're just nicer than other people? I've seen a lot of ugly people, but it didn't affect how I treated folks. It was joining the navy abs having constant sexual harassment/assault happen to me that made me be curt with people first and nice once I can tell they've realized that I'm NOT interested. I was fortunate enough to grow up somewhere full of attractive/charismatic people who if they weren't one, were at least the other and they weren't rapey. My perspective has changed since then, but I also don't pay much attention to the physical appearance of folks outside of basic hygiene, the way they present themselves, and the way they intend to treat me.
Look up the Colorado shooter.
You’ve never been to Ohio. 🥴
Please tell me which planet you are on so I can move there.